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Old 05-30-2005, 07:42 PM   #1
Gerard
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A Gamers Manifesto
http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/...manifesto.html



NIGGA GRABBED MY BOOB!
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Old 06-04-2005, 06:46 AM   #2
RP
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http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/...e/nbalive.html



Satisfied, I asked John if he wanted to tinker with the roster, maybe set up a trade for Jerry Stackhouse to more closely approximate the current Wizards' squad. I then made the mistake of leaving the room. When I returned:

"Oh... are you creating more players? I see you named that one 'Dick Peniscar...'"

"We need backcourt help."

"Ah, you've made a mistake there. You have him as a Point Guard, but he's also seven feet, eight inches tall..."

"No, that's okay. He'll compensate for his freakish height with his perfect 99 ratings in passing, shooting, speed, ball stealing, defense, and rebounding. There's a separate category for 'dunking' so I hacked into the code and give him a dunk rating of 164. That means your only chance of slowing this guy down is if he gets a good case of rimcrotch."

"Well, okay, but leave the rest of the roster as it is."

"So you just wanna play with this one guy? Because I deleted everybody else off the game. I like to pretend we used the free salary cap money to have each man killed by the mob and dumped in the Potomac."

John spent the next four hours replacing the Wizards' starting five with gigantic supermen and stocking the bench with the likes of Lenny Analstar, Pecker "the pecker" Peckerman, Rod GroinFro and "Pistol" Pete Marovich.

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Old 06-04-2005, 06:51 AM   #3
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This is some of the funniest shit i've read in a while.
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Old 06-04-2005, 10:08 AM   #4
road doggy dogg
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Seanbaby is funnier, and actually comes across as not hating every game in existance
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Old 06-04-2005, 11:50 AM   #5
Gouda
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Video games need more perverted rats:

http://pikachulovestits.ytmnd.com/
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Old 06-04-2005, 03:04 PM   #6
King Jericho
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Pretty awesome read.
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Old 06-06-2005, 05:38 PM   #7
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Wow I can't believe the PS3 is going to cost that much. Fuck that, unless they come out with some really amazing games at launch, I'm not buying one til way down the line.

Looks like I'm getting myself an Xbox 360 and most likely a Nintendo Revolution whenever that comes out.
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