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07-08-2005, 10:48 PM
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#1 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
  
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SmackDown Captions!
 JBL: And in my next book, Why Liberals Suck, I point to them and say “you’re a homo!”  JBL: Phone home, he said? Phone home! He’s not an alien! Hell, he ain’t even Mexican!  As the internet fans rejoice, the mainstreams fans say “what the fuck?”  Stevie: Now THAT’S cool!  Meanie: Hey! A penny! I gotta pick it up! JBL: Have you been hanging around that Haymen guy again?  It was going to be the Worm, but it ended up the beached whale.  Rosebud…  Proving once and for all that he is fearless, Chris Benoit attacks the spider that ate Booker T’s  And all the boys in the back thought that it was a slang term for taking a poop when he told him “I gotta drop off Booker T in the ring.”  Eddie: yeah, you’re a homo, I’m pointing at you, yeah yeah yeah, can someone get me some iced tea now?  Eddie tried to reassure Rey that everything was going to be okay. The draft lotto is over.  Between Rey’s break dancing and Eddie’s tap, they were unstoppable!  Get your very own life sized and huggable Rey Mysterio wrestling buddy!  Ref: Get off his neck! Get off his neck! Rey: *gack! Choke!* Eddie! Ease up! Eddie: Glow in the dark cereal… that would be the best midnight snack ever…  Mercury knows it, Nitro thinks it, and Melina is totally oblivious to it. The only reasons why MNM were not released are on Melina’s chest. (with serious props to MNM, I love this group, but I just wanted to say that)  It’s one thing to nosell, but it’s a whole new ballgame to fall asleep in the middle of a move.  Taker: That BETTER be your nose on my… oh, wait, it IS your nose.  One move he sells- The Vulcan Nerve Pinch  And right before Davari officially became a God HALAYAIAYEAAAAYEYAOMGWTFYA Davari: Damn it Hassan!  Masked Dudes: He’s going to be PISSED when he wakes up in the middle of the forest, without his heat!  Matt Morgan Has a stuttering problem- Yes A mid carder- Yes A master Jedi- You bet your ass  Next week on SmackDown, JBL and Christian VS Batista and the ref strong enough to bench Christian!  Batista: Yay! I have my very own midcarder! Xtian: THAT’S MAIN EVENTER IN TRAINING!!!  They were making plans for next Tuesday, until they remembered they were busy.  “Now the money in the bank contract was for a world heavyweight title shot, but the world title is not on SmackDown while Edge is still on Raw. Since Monday Night Raw had no jurisdiction on the WWE Heavyweight title what’ll happen to that storyline, but then again, the WWE’s writer’s memory span is a little bit longer than mi—I just pooed myself… where was I… OmFG! I @m such 1337! I haxXor u stoop1d noob!!!”  CROTCH GOBBLIN!  Forgive the look on his face- He’s not used to being away from HHH. JBL: Didn’t you play “Fat Bastard” in that one movie? Mercury: Dude, this coat is itchy…. Nitro: Quit complaining man, we’re damn lucky to be here! Meliena: Be thankful you don’t have the Heartthrob’s gimmick. Quote:
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07-08-2005, 11:20 PM
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#2 |
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Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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JBL: You, my friend, are the Homo GOD!!! JBL: You! In the Summerslam shirt! Yes, you! I am Jane and I will make you feel like Tarzan! Um...wait... Guys at WWE.com: Okay, who drew that mustache in marker on the photo! NOT cool! Stevie: Ack! You misspelled JBL-- oooohhh, I get it... Ref: Wow...what a bod. Oh wait, that's the Blue Meanie, isn't it... The Blue Meanie's stomach overwhelms all...including the Titantron behind him. JBL: What? Where am I? Suit: Erm, you time-travelled back to 1955, kid. JBL: Great Scott!!! Benoit: GIVE ME BACK MY TOOTH!! Booker: MRFRM!! Cameraman: Wow. Weirdest...sexual position...ever... Eddie: No, seriously homes, I can't get down. My muscles have frozen me into this position, ese! Eddie: What did you do, Rey-Rey? You broke the Titantron! YOU BROKE IT! Rey: [sobbing] I'm sorry! Eddie: And THIS is for misspelling Lex Luger on your stomach! Rey: But Eddie-- Ref: Give me your hand, Eddie...it'll be okay... Eddie: Hey, why do we have a RAW set? Rey: MRRMFMFFMMM!! Eddie: Oh. That makes sense. Mercury: Hey...who's that guy pointing to us? And what is he saying? Nitro: Uh-uh. We're not the homos. We most certainly aren't! Melina: Hmph... Hassan forces Undertaker to listen to another 30-minute HHH promo. Hassan: You smell...good... Second fan from the left: Okay...how am I supposed to react to THIS one... Katie Vick, I understood...but this...erm... Girl next to him: Just scream "You suck!" It's always worked for me. Guy way to the left: Just flash the camera. Always worked for me. Oh, and get drunk and piss al over the seats. The WWE HATES that! Daivari experiences an American pastime: CROWD SURFING! Masked Guy on Right: Hey...do you smell that? Masked Guy on Left: No...wait, yeah, what IS that? Daivari: Teeheehee! Holy j-j-j-jumping M-M-M-M_mmm-Mmmmfamfkammdemmmmmmmmmmmmmmm exican beans! Ref: Wheeeee! Christian go FLY!!! Batista: Erf! Too high! Christian: I don't WANNA go for a ride! Batista ponders his role in life and the meaning of hs existence. Batista: Mmm...could go for some cheeseburgers right about now...gurgle... I think the fan way in the back is trying to tell us something. Where are the restroom signs anyway? Batista: YES! They FINALLY got my name right! Fan: You're holding it upside-down! Fan #2: Don't ruin it for him...poor guy... Seriously...anybody notice the URL of these images? It's like WWE.com is trying desperately to hide these. :P I could teach them a few things about web design and REALLY hiding a URL... 
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07-09-2005, 12:31 AM
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#3 | |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Quote:
That's Daivari.  Remember that time someone thought Rene Dupree was one of the Heartbreakers? LOL! |
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07-09-2005, 12:53 AM
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#4 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Gotta hand it to JBL. His Dubya impression IS good. Damn, his Howard Dean isn't too shabby either. Raccoon Genetic Splicing Result No. 429. What's with Ben Stiller kung-fuing it up there? JBL didn't realize wrestling Baby Huey would be this tough. A God-send to us all, Meanie learns they make XXL shirts... Somewhere, Shawn Michaels is jealous. Poor Whoopie Goldberg. This is NOT how you do the hokey pokey and this is NOT what it's all about. WWE Budget Cut #37: Furniture Rey: "Marco..." Eddie: "Polo" Rey tried to cover himself by going into the fetal position. Eddie aborted the idea. Worst. Armbar. Ever. Eddie: Is that D-Von serving popcorn? Five of the best reasons to watch SmackDown. Not the traditional camel, but it's a start... That guy in the front row is looking pretty dreamy at this picture... Undertaker finally sat and watched Old Yellar all the way through... He'd never be the same again. WWE Budget Cut #87: The invisible boards for the invisible crucifix. "If you, or anyone you know, has information regarding this bizarre kidnapping, please write to us at- Unsolved Mysteries..." Morgan: "Why is Juvi stuck to my back... Rhyno's been fir... Oh, that wacky SuperCrazy!" WWE Budget Cut #5: Prostate exams are done during the matches to save time and money. Batista: "Christian? You're hissing? What's wrong boy?" When audience member John Greene got his photos developed, he was a little irked to learn someone was making shadow puppets in front of his camera. Batista: "So wait, you're telling me I put the LIME IN THE COKE, and THEN I drink it all up? Amazing..." WWE Budget Cut #28: Divas. Batista (muttering): "If you close your eyes, your life, naked truths revealed..." |
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07-09-2005, 09:19 PM
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#5 |
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Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Like I'm supposed to be able to tell from a side profile partly covered by Undertaker's crotch that that's Daivari and not Hassan. I didn't even watch that part of Smackdown.
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07-10-2005, 01:47 PM
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#6 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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If it helps, Hassan wears short tights and Daivari wears the long tights. Y'know, just for future reference.
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07-10-2005, 10:08 PM
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#7 |
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Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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TOO MUCH TO HOLD IN MY HEAD!! DAMN YOU, HASS-- DAIVARI!!!
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07-11-2005, 01:36 AM
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#8 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,115
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Cole: LOL Terrorist. ------------------------------- The best part on smackdown was when Juvi said "listen up gringos this is serious" he sounded so funny. |
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07-11-2005, 02:20 AM
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#9 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Not even JBL can do a flattering Bush impression. JBL botches Metal Horns. Kane Knight: Wow, Triple H has really let himself go... Catching a glimpse of himself in the Limo's finish, Stevie soon discovers he's NO LONGER INVISIBLE! JBL: Okay, Vince wanted me to pull this spot in the match. Meanie: How many times have you done a 619? JBL: Have you ever watched Smackdown? Meanie: No. JBL: All the time, trust me. FLAME ON! I coulda been a contender! Only after Booker admitted that Charmelle was a man did Benoit finally release the hold. Benoit helps Booker T re-enacted JBL's "initiation." "Mexicools? What, was the Taco Bell dog unavailable? Eddie couldn't help but laugh at Rey's rendition of "Can you Feel the Lovve Tonight?" Eddie: Kerwin White? What were you thinking, esse? Rey: I didn't have anything to do with it. Eddie, I know homes, but they fired Shannon Moore. Now take it like a man! "The Crippler Crossface always looks so easy when Chris does it... Eddie Couldn't believe it... Batista couldn't believe it... MNM couldn't believe it... The WWE actually released the Undertaker sex tape. Hassan: So what did you do to get punished like this? Taker: Posting on the internet again. Taker: How'd you get this role? Divari: Got Caught sleeping with Lita. Taker: And they're punishing you? Divari: Yeah, it was Vince's turn. "Now let's find out who you REALLY are!" Kane Knight: I've heard of being carried to a good match, but this is ridiculous. No more web announcements, this is how all future terminations will take place. Matt Morgan proves that prayer works. Even Christian was surprised when he pulled off the Bicycle kick from Mortal Kombat. Christian: Where exactly did you say your wallet was? Batista: Just keep looking...You'll find it. Batista's new finisher: The Polka Buster. The Belly Raspberry from Hell. "No Hunter, you can't have it back!" |
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07-11-2005, 11:53 AM
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#10 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Vastardikai: So, you take a jab at me about calling Rene Dupree a Hearthrob. At least I know the difference between Hassan and Daivari, so...
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07-11-2005, 12:12 PM
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#11 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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On a very special "Fat, Blue haired-freak eye for the Gay guy"... Eddie: The Mexican Wrestling Community Spits on you for putting your mask back on! This episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the number 19... Earplugs: $1 Turban to hide said Earplugs: $3 Fantana's Greatest Hit CD: $15 Finding a way to get back at the Undertaker for using a Limp Bizkit song for his entrance theme: Priceless. Christian Solidifies his face turn when, with the help of Batista, he executes a devastating Double Elbow onto Hassan and Davari, as well as a Senton Bomb onto JBL... AT THE SAME TIME! |
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07-11-2005, 01:39 PM
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#12 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,115
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Eddie: what are you a power ranger? Rey: 
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Linear Mode
