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Old 07-29-2005, 12:52 AM   #1
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When Batista spoke last week on Smackdown...
Be honest, how many people started thinking aof that Abominable Snowman from Looney Toons? You know, "I will name him George, and I will love him and squeeze him and hold him and pat him and..."

I kept thinking "You took a cheap shot, George." And I pictured a giant Dave grabbing JBL and spanking him.

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

--John Rogers
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:05 AM   #2
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I know one thing, it sounded scripted and lame as crap.

I dunno who feeds Batista those kind of cheesy lines, but they sucked.
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:07 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Batsu
I know one thing, it sounded scripted and lame as crap.

I dunno who feeds Batista those kind of cheesy lines, but they sucked.
HOnestly...I kept waiting for him to start speaking, stop. Start, stop. Then hit a Spinebuster on JBL.
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:09 AM   #4
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Believe it or not, it kind of reminded me of Sting for some reason.
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:20 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Batsu
I know one thing, it sounded scripted and lame as crap.

I dunno who feeds Batista those kind of cheesy lines, but they sucked.
I don't know. They were bad enough that I suspect they came directly from Vince. Either way, Dave ain't exactly brilliant on the mic, so it would have sounded kinda lame no matter what. but that was like atrain wreck. I keep walking around waving my finger at my friends and going "You took a cheap shot..." And laughing..
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:30 AM   #6
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:52 AM   #7
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I was laughing my ass off at the promo.
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:54 AM   #8
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Old 07-29-2005, 02:16 AM   #9
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Old 07-29-2005, 02:21 AM   #10
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Old 07-29-2005, 04:33 AM   #11
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When ever Batista talks, he has the same pace as Ric Flair.

I can't be the only one to notice this.
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Old 07-29-2005, 10:08 AM   #12
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he may have the same pace as naitch but there will never be another promo man like flair
like rvd's theme he's truely one of a kind
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Old 07-29-2005, 10:11 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BatistaBomb
he may have the same pace as naitch but there will never be another promo man like flair
like rvd's theme he's truely one of a kind
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Old 07-29-2005, 10:50 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hired Hitman
When ever Batista talks, he has the same pace as Ric Flair.

I can't be the only one to notice this.
No, he does have the same pace. The difference is, Flair used to be able to make promos that didn't make me cracka rib laughing.
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Old 07-29-2005, 10:55 AM   #15
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Flair goes slowly through his promos to be dramatic and emphasis the power of the words he is saying. Batista goes slowly through his promos because he's an idiot, has forgotton his lines and is trying to remember them.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:22 AM   #16
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I laughed when Batista did that stupid pose during the middle of his promo, infact i laugh everytime he does it.Its just that when your speaking, that is not the best time to do it.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:38 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL
I laughed when Batista did that stupid pose during the middle of his promo, infact i laugh everytime he does it.Its just that when your speaking, that is not the best time to do it.
Do you think he does that in everyday life, like in job interviews.

Interviwer - "Hello, Mr Batista, come in have a seat"
Dave - "Thank you."
Interviwer - "So, lets cut to the chase. What can you bring to Fed-Ex?"
Dave - "Well, sir, I'm a very dedication individual. I love challenges, working towards goals and targets and...

GRRRRRRR!!!!!"

Interviewer - "We'll be in touch"
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:48 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Jnr Jnr
Flair goes slowly through his promos to be dramatic and emphasis the power of the words he is saying. Batista goes slowly through his promos because he's an idiot, has forgotton his lines and is trying to remember them.
Naw. It's because he learned from Triple H.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:49 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL
I laughed when Batista did that stupid pose during the middle of his promo, infact i laugh everytime he does it.Its just that when your speaking, that is not the best time to do it.
It's still not as funny (IMO) as his little dance coming down to the ring. Because nothing says "serious champion" like gettin' jiggy with it.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:51 AM   #20
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Nothing says serious champion like looking like that emo fuckwit singer from the Deftones.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:53 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Jnr Jnr
Do you think he does that in everyday life, like in job interviews.

Interviwer - "Hello, Mr Batista, come in have a seat"
Dave - "Thank you."
Interviwer - "So, lets cut to the chase. What can you bring to Fed-Ex?"
Dave - "Well, sir, I'm a very dedication individual. I love challenges, working towards goals and targets and...

GRRRRRRR!!!!!"

Interviewer - "We'll be in touch"


Though he would probably say thank you twice like this..

"Thank you sir, THAAAAAAAAANK YOU!"
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:55 AM   #22
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Who wouldn't want a Batista in their office? Handing in reports would be more fun as a weekend with batman.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:55 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
It's still not as funny (IMO) as his little dance coming down to the ring. Because nothing says "serious champion" like gettin' jiggy with it.
I agree..his theme music seems so out of tune aswell, i can't ever hear how its meant to be going.Theme songs are meant to suit you when you walk to the ring imo, his doesn't, it reminds me of Edge's one.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:59 AM   #24
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It sounds like one of those generic themes on the Smackdown PS games for your create-a-wrestler.

*Random guitar riff and heavy drums*
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:10 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL
I agree..his theme music seems so out of tune aswell, i can't ever hear how its meant to be going.Theme songs are meant to suit you when you walk to the ring imo, his doesn't, it reminds me of Edge's one.
I liked BAtista's older theme. The one that was just the Kane Ripoff riff. This new one doesn't fit him, but I'm not sure they know what DOES. I'm convinced that they don't know what to do with them.

Batista's a mixed blessing. He's been pushed in part because he's been getting HUUUUUUUUUGE pops a lot of the time. This is good. IT means the WWE was paying attention. The problem is, they seem to be like, "Well, what do we do now?"

It's funnier because it's the sorta thing you'd expect to see tagging with Heidenreich.
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:11 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Jnr Jnr
It sounds like one of those generic themes on the Smackdown PS games for your create-a-wrestler.

*Random guitar riff and heavy drums*
Oh, come on, it's not THAT bad.
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:13 PM   #27
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Meh, you're right. At least they haven't gotten him utter some random catchphrase over the start of the song (e.g. Shelton Benjamin, Faarooq, Stevie Richards).

That be terrible
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:15 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Jnr Jnr
Meh, you're right. At least they haven't gotten him utter some random catchphrase over the start of the song (e.g. Shelton Benjamin, Faarooq, Stevie Richards).

That be terrible
*pyros*

I'M A DANCING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

*Cue Batista's music.
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:17 PM   #29
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I'd rep you for that but you don't need it/care.
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:21 PM   #30
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Even better...For some reason I have an image of BAtista pausing to do his little fireworks dance, and three words BLARING...

"POLKA! POLKA! POLKA!"
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:21 PM   #31
Kane Knight
Ron Paul 4 EVA
 
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Dave: You took a cheap shot at me, KK...You too a CHEAP SHOT."
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:39 PM   #32
UnDeRTaKeR
 
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UnDeRTaKeR has done some stupid things
The hell with JBL!!!
I cant stand JBL, I can only tollerate him! He was a wimpy WWE Champion!
Everytime he'd be like 'I AM....A....WRESTLING GOD' shit would annoy me lol.
I think WWE needs to fire him, hell 'Bradshaw' was gay, but not like JBL lol.
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Old 07-29-2005, 12:50 PM   #33
LK
It's Clobbering Time!
 
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JBL is a wrestling *deep breath* GOD!
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:01 PM   #34
UnDeRTaKeR
 
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UnDeRTaKeR has done some stupid things
I disagree
JBL is a jackass is what he is, he's a sorry excuse for a Champion!
He always has to have his lil bf come save him when he needs it lmao.
I'm glad Batista kept the World Heavyweight Title, HE'S BETTER CHAMP!
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:32 PM   #35
Savio
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You got the NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE!
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Old 07-29-2005, 02:07 PM   #36
Gone Mad
EL MERO MERO!
 
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Batista: Repetition is my gift... It's MY GIIIIFFFTTTT!!!

**cue theme**

"DANCE ! DANCE ! DANCE!"

Batista: I wasn't finish with the p-- OH, WELL!! **random silly pose!**
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Old 07-29-2005, 02:23 PM   #37
Innovator
Inno Knows.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
I liked BAtista's older theme. The one that was just the Kane Ripoff riff. This new one doesn't fit him, but I'm not sure they know what DOES. I'm convinced that they don't know what to do with them.

Batista's a mixed blessing. He's been pushed in part because he's been getting HUUUUUUUUUGE pops a lot of the time. This is good. IT means the WWE was paying attention. The problem is, they seem to be like, "Well, what do we do now?"

It's funnier because it's the sorta thing you'd expect to see tagging with Heidenreich.
Note to fans: next time we push a guy on our own, lets get a guy with workrate
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Old 07-29-2005, 05:15 PM   #38
TerranRich
Herp a derp, and so on
 
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JBL: You look like Jane, and I will make you feel like Tarzan!!
Batista: Why I OUGHTA...!
JBL: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!!!
Batista: Oh! A WISE guy! [dances]
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Old 07-29-2005, 06:14 PM   #39
Kane Knight
Ron Paul 4 EVA
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnDeRTaKeR
JBL is a jackass is what he is, he's a sorry excuse for a Champion!
He always has to have his lil bf come save him when he needs it lmao.
I'm glad Batista kept the World Heavyweight Title, HE'S BETTER CHAMP!
Yeah, because of his mic skills and his ability to carry even a shoddy wrestler to a match.
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Old 07-29-2005, 06:16 PM   #40
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator
Note to fans: next time we push a guy on our own, lets get a guy with workrate
We tried that. Chris Jericho, RVD, Christian...

Notice a pattern?
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