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Old 08-02-2005, 07:05 AM   #1
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The One’s Raw Recap (If you can't guess there are spoilers in here...)
OK, so I know a lot of people don’t REALLY want to watch RAW, and hey, who can blame them. So I am going to start doing this, a Raw Recap since we don’t have Spoilers or anything like we do for SmackDown, this way people don’t need to read through 17 pages of mainly spam to know what happens on RAW, plus, on a selfish note, I get to bitch about stuff...let’s go!

Opening
Chris Jericho comes out, he is wearing a trucker hat and a wife beater. He gives a little promo, before you know it Cena comes out and there is a brawl, security breaks it up, and thus ends one of the two enjoyable parts of RAW. Oh yeah, and Eric Bischoff announces that Jericho will be ref for the WWE Title Match between Carlito and Cena later tonight.

Commercials
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Match #1: Masters & Snitsky vs. Show & Shelton
Shelton almost falls getting into the ring...and no I’m not kidding. Big Show tries to throw him over the top rope and his foot gets caught (who didn’t see that one coming).

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Match Continues
Nothing happens for 20 minutes and then Show gets the pin fall victory.

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Eugene Invitational
Kurt Angle can’t get a break. Tatanka comes out, Angle interferes, Tatanka is now fat.

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Vince McMahon’s BIG announcement
Matt Hardy gets a contract, him and Edge will meet at SummerSlam unless Matt dies in a car crash.

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Backstage
Vince talks to Chavo, er I mean Kerwin, Kerwin wants to buy a house in Greenwich, and I need to poop.

Match #3 Val Venis vs. Rob Conway
Rob Conway now looks like Buff Bagwell, crickets are afraid to make noise during this match, and Conway wins.

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Shawn Michaels
Thank god for him, he saved RAW from being...well...RAW. He does a segments dressed as Hulk Hogan on Larry King Live, he says “brother” more times then he breaths in. we see a fantastic highlight clip of Shawn Michaels (no one can take a damn thing away from WWE’s video making guys), and then we see a bit more of Shawn Michaels. Great segment that single handedly made RAW slightly better then watching paint dry.

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Match #4 Carlito vs. Cena (Special Guest Ref Jericho)
They make there entrance and wrestle for about 2 minutes and then...

Commercial
Steve-o drinks rotten milk out of a shoe, someone sings about chicken fries, and Spike TV creams their pants over UFC.

Match Continues
Yadda yadda yadda...Jericho falls down, real ref comes in, and Cena wins. Then Jericho beats up Cena til he bleeds, and JR can’t believe that the whatever # episode that was that beat Gunsmoke ends with Jericho not jobbing. Truth be told I am shocked too. I guess they changed it up for the special night.

Raw Recap Response: This wonderful show gets a …not even the Michaels segment could save that flaming shit heap.
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Old 08-02-2005, 08:40 AM   #2
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"Tatanka comes out, Angle interferes, Tatanka is now fat."

What the hell did Angle do?!?!?
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Old 08-02-2005, 09:28 AM   #3
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Tatanka obviously started to eat Angle.
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Old 08-02-2005, 11:04 AM   #4
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Oh, that makes sense.
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Old 08-02-2005, 11:10 AM   #5
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It was a choice between eating Angle and those chicken fries
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Old 08-02-2005, 12:28 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonster
Tatanka obviously started to eat Angle.
It's an ancient indian ritual i nwhich we consume the strength of our enemies.
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Old 08-02-2005, 12:30 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Jnr Jnr
It was a choice between eating Angle and those chicken fries
If you can call that a choice.
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Old 08-02-2005, 12:31 PM   #8
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Gold, guys.
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