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Old 01-20-2004, 10:18 PM   #1
loopydate
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Kung Pow quotes
Inspired by an MVP post on another thread, I started thinking about some of my favorite lines from "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist." Not exactly a great movie, but entertaining as hell. Feel free to post your own...

"Hmmm. I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with, with a, rock or something. Like a, like a stone."

"I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My ass. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH!"

"Hmmm, yes, a tiny net is a death sentence. It's a net, and it's tiny!"

The Chosen One: I'll take a pound of nuts.
Shop Keeper: That's a lot of nuts!

"I am a great magician: now your clothes are red!"

"Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab."

Wimp Lo: Take a close look. 'Cause I rule, baby!
The Chosen One: And who do you rule, the large-dark-nipple people?

Master Doe: I have a mortal wound!
Master Tang: Where? Where does it hurt?
Master Doe: Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot.

"Crap man! You don't see that every day. I mean that doesn't seem possible with all those body organs and cartilage and bones. I mean I'm no doctor but that was like one clean chunk!"

"At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about iron claws... THEY HURT LIKE CRAP MAN!"

"We are both ventriloquists, ventriloquists, ventriloquists, we are both ventriloquists and we practice every day!"

"Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong... you know, as a joke."

Wimp Lo: He's an outsider. Have you ever seen him before?
Ling: Hmn-hmn. Well, twice.

"It is EVIL, it is so EVIL. It is a bad, bad plan, which will hurt many... people... who are good. I think it's great that it's so bad!"

Master Tang: I remember a long time ago, when a friend told me there would be a chosen one.
[Flashback to a younger Tang talking to Master Doe.]
Master Doe: There will be a chosen one.
Master Tang: He then told me of the significance.
[Flashback]
Master Doe: It will be significant.
Master Tang: And then he killed the dog.
[Flashback, Master Doe closes his eyes, we hear a fart then a dog whimper]
Chosen One: I now officially know too much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
Loopydate, you are the pinnacle of too-muchery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azriel
Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
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Originally Posted by loopydate View Post
*Waves to CANADIAN*

Sadly, the old days are gone, my friend.

*Sews Shaggy's head back on*

This is what we're dealing with now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poit View Post
I feel like I just read a Noid post covered in the semen of dreams.
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Old 01-20-2004, 10:22 PM   #2
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Wimp Lo: Ha..I can do that, UP AND OVER *smashes into wall*

Master (I forgot his name): Would you say you walked....ten miles?

Anything said by the narrator or Betty is basically gold.
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Old 01-20-2004, 10:24 PM   #3
loopydate
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Betty rules. I forgot to add him reading the scroll, but I couldn't remember exactly what he said. I really hope the rumors of a sequel are true.
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Old 01-20-2004, 10:26 PM   #4
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"We are great ventriloquists, but now we're upside down."
"I Swing a bit more"
"I swing a bit less"

"I rock. And Roll. All night long"

"I hope they have Icies!"

"My nipples look like Milkduds"

I like these ones too
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Old 01-20-2004, 10:27 PM   #5
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Betty: "Bird......Birdie......Birdie Birdie"

missed one
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Old 01-20-2004, 11:31 PM   #6
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The only thing I remember now is when that guy asked them to call him Betty.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:46 AM   #7
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"THAT'S ALOT OF NUTS!"

That was hilarious. That whole movie was hilarious but not all that memorable. I just remember two other parts where they were singing. Once about Taco Bell and the other was like... "I'll go get the neosphorin. Neos! Da da da da Phorin! Da da da da".

Also, the "intermission" was funny.
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Old 01-21-2004, 02:03 PM   #8
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Thanks to loopydate for acknowledging me.

Wimp Lo: "I'm a man too you know. I go pee pee standing up."

Master Tang: "I have some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and it's non-dairy."

Master Tang: "Watch out for the big butts song. He beats you up while he plays it."
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Old 01-22-2004, 05:39 AM   #9
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Master Tang: Uh...Taco Bell, Taco Bell
Product placement with Taco Bell
Enharito, nacho-borito.................I've come to kick ass.

Master Tang: I'll go get the Neosporin...Ba-da-da-da-da, Neo
Ba-da-da-da-da, Sporin!
Ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni *trails off*

I'm not sure if that is accurate, but that's the best I remember it.
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Old 01-22-2004, 10:58 PM   #10
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Wimo Lo: I am bleeding. That means I am the victor.
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Old 01-23-2004, 07:27 AM   #11
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Old 01-23-2004, 08:36 AM   #12
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[A Chinese woman sees the baby Chosen One rolling down a mountain and picks him up]

Woman: Awwww so cute!

[Rolls him down the rest of the mountain]

Woman: Bye-Bye!
-----
Narrator: "...Where he was raised by various rodents."
-----
Narrator: "And on he walked... and sometimes drove... and occassionally, he partied with the desert creatures."
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Old 01-23-2004, 03:40 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WWEngland
Henchman 1: "I'll go this way".

Henchman 2: "I'll go home".

Isn't "You go this way. I'll go home."?
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Old 01-23-2004, 03:42 PM   #14
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Henchman 1: "I'll go this way".

Henchman 2: "I'll go home".
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Old 01-23-2004, 05:11 PM   #15
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I like that quote.
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