Post your favorite line in wrestling.

[mrslackalack]

We have had tons of golden moments from the broadcast booth with guys like Hennan, Styles etc. What is your favorite line ever.

Mine is at Royal Rumble 92

(Piper saves Flair from attack)

Hennan: Thank you Piper! Its a Kilt! not a skirt!

(Later on when Piper clotheslines Flair)

Hennan: Why you no good..... Its a skirt not a kilt!

[redoneja]

Wrestlemania 8 during the Undertaker/Jake Roberts match:

Heenan-" Hey Monsoon, you know how Paul Bearer got the urn???"

Monsoon- "How?"

Heenan-"The old fashioned way, he URNED(earned) it!"

Monsoon-"Will you stop!!"

[Skippord]

Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music:

Heenan: That's my second favorite song.

Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. What's your favorite?

Heenan: All the rest are tied.

[The Naitch]

X7 Austin vs. The Rock

Heyman: I'm sick and tired of how biased you are towards Stone Cold Steve Austin!! You think he's the end all deal

JR: So what if he's my friend


(not funny, but gotta love Paul for shutting him up)

[CSL]

Originally Posted by redoneja Monsoon-"Will you stop!!"

[Chavo Classic]

Anything Steve Romero says

[Pinnacle Charisma]

Holy shit I was thinking of making a thread like this a few days ago but I got sidetracked.

Anyway he is a few of my favs


“Undertaker if that is your real name” – Kurt Angle in 2000.

The glass shatters and Stone Cold comes in pre-invasion heel

Heyman- Go on say it,

JR- Say what
Heyman- Stone Cold Stone Cold. Business is about to pick up. Its been your gimmick for the last 4 years.

Vince, Christian and Shelton in the ring asking for Vince’s approval before taboo Tuesday.

Vince – God dammint stop acting like Children.
Christian- Children who I believe are the future

[Chavo Classic]

*Big Dick Dudley receives chair shot*

Joey Styles - "Oh my god, Big Dick is still on his fe..."

*Dudley falls back on his ass like an oak chopped down*

Styles- "...Nevermind"

[Pinnacle Charisma]

Ted DiBaise and Vince doing commentary during an early 90’s royal rumble.

Keven Nash comes to the ring.

Vince- Look at this man he is huge.

Ted - Im much taller.

Vince- Yeah Right

Ted- Did I mention that im standing on my wallet

[RemyRed]

Originally Posted by Pinnacle Charisma The glass shatters and Stone Cold comes in pre-invasion heel Heyman- Go on say it, JR- Say what Heyman- Stone Cold Stone Cold. Business is about to pick up. Its been your gimmick for the last 4 ideas.

LOL I remember he did that again during the Jeff Hardy vs Triple H match. Austin came out after delivering chairshots to Matt backstage:

Paul- Go on JR say it! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! THE RATLLESNAKE! Say it JR. (not exact)

[Xero]

Heyman made some classic quotes because he constantly shot.

"Hey! What are you doing over here!? We don't speak Spanish!" or something along those lines when they were fighting near the announce table.

[Savio]

Josh: What does the FU stand for?

Bill Demott: Free Yukon

[hb2k]

Heyman: "Kane scares the hell out of me, and I am a fearless man" - Mania X7. The delivery made that line great.

Another Heyman gem from mania 17, before Angle vs Benoit, "JR. I am about as excited as one man can possibly be with his clothes on."

[What Would Kevin Do?]

My favorite "funny" line was Heenan's, ( I can't remember word for word.) " Look at him, that coward tried to jump through the window to escape. )

My favorite serious line was from Foley, before his Hell in a Cell match with HHH.. "I'll go down swinging, or I won't go down at all"

[The Greater Power]

Mania 17 right before the Angle/Benoti match started.

"This is as excited a man can get with his pants on" - Paul Heyman.

[Stickman]

KING: PUPPIES........................well, maybe the first, possibly the second time he said it. Way to rip off the Road Dogg and over use it King.

[Xero]

Val Venis: I came, I saw, and I came again!

[Xero]

Oh, and of course the always classic...

"I CHOPPY CHOPPY YOUR... PEE PEE!"

[hb2k]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the deliciously bad Taker line...,

"Where to Stephanie? MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"""

[Cooler Tom Schuler]

When Al Snow and Steve Blackman were teamed there were a lot of great lines.

(Al Snow gives Steve Blackman some rice cakes.)

Steve: Plain! That's my favorite flavor!

[Cool King]

I loved everything Heyman said when he was on RAW.

Heyman: Why did Christian's parents call him Christian? My parents didn't call me Jew!

It was something along those lines.

I loved it when he use to impersonate J.R.

[Mr. Nerfect]

I've never heard it, but it deserves to be mentioned:

When Edge & Christian were once at the commentary booth talking about doing a "run-in".

[RGWhat316]

Originally Posted by Alienoid06 I've never heard it, but it deserves to be mentioned: When Edge & Christian were once at the commentary booth talking about doing a "run-in".

LOL, I loved those. They would be talking about a run-in, and King would ask what that was. And they would say, "just watch, you are gonna see in here in just a minute."

[Optimistic T]

Viscera: Eating makes me hot...
Trish Stratus: Well, you must be the horniest person in the world!

"Yo, waiter, you see this page here, that's what I want, the whole thing" - Viscera

"By the time the Iron Sheik gets to the ring, it'll be WrestleMania 38!" - Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, 'Mania X-7

Michael Cole: I can't even see the action, a big cowboy hat is in my way.
Jim Ross: There is about to be a big cowboy boot in your ass if you don't shut up. - Raw

"Good Lord, and now Austin, Austin, with an elbow to the black heart of Triple H!!!" - Jim Ross

"And Outlaws, if you're not down with that, I got 13 words for ya... how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" - Mankind

and this is a Nitro one, but it's a favorite of mine.

"Dis now gonna be Da Juice's show, cause all da juice is in the ring, and da Juicy Man is on Da Juice's table." - Juvi on Nitro

[mrslackalack]

(Hennan) Did Tugboat get his shirt from a barber shop pole?

[Draven]

Mean Gene was interviewing Piper before his I.C Title defense at Rumble 92' against The Mountie, and Piper said something along the lines of.

Piper: Mountie if you think youre taking my title you must be dreaming, and I think they might be a little wet too.

[Drakul]

Originally Posted by Cool King I loved everything Heyman said when he was on RAW. Heyman: Why did Christian's parents call him Christian? My parents didn't call me Jew! It was something along those lines. I loved it when he use to impersonate J.R.

it was more like "Christian? What kinda name is Christian!? His parents had nine months to think of a name and they best they got was Christian? I'm glad they wheren't my parents or Id be called 'Jew'!"

or something like that.

[Fox]

Someone was gonna say it eventually...

(Austin has Rock in the sharpshooter)

Heyman: Ring the bell, Hebner! Ring the bell!

JR: He hasn't even tapped out!

Heyman: So? That's never stopped him before!

[Skippord]

Originally Posted by Cooler Tom Schuler When Al Snow and Steve Blackman were teamed there were a lot of great lines. (Al Snow gives Steve Blackman some rice cakes.) Steve: Plain! That's my favorite flavor!

[Vastardikai]

Paraphrased. Raven said this during his whole too depressed to wrestle thing in WCW. Referring to his mother, in full on deadpan.

Raven: She saw Judy Bagwell win the Win the Tag Team Titles and got jealous. Next week she might run in, Spear Goldberg, and become WCW World Heavyweight Champion.

[Fox]

Not even a line, perse, but still gold:

Jericho: I'm getting sick and tired of this ass cream thing!

Christian: It totally sucks!

Jericho: Let's go kick Booker T and Goldust's ass!

Christian: Yeah!

(Jericho walks off. Christian looks around before taking the ass cream and walking away.)

[FourFifty]

I can't recall which year, but my fav line comes from Summerslam after The Mountie wrestled The Big Boss Man in a "Jail Hose Match." Loser spends the night in jail... The Montie lost, and was being finger printed...
"You want the finger, HERE'S THE FINGER!!!"
Back then the middle finger wasn't just thrown around so that made an impact on the fans.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

NoDQ.com > Features > 100 classic wrestling quotes
Posted by Aaron Rift on 11/24/2005 at 08:29 PM

In no particular order:

100.) Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music:
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. What's your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.

99.) "Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.

98.) "Ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage

97.) "He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

96.) Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like two carp going after the same piece of corn."

95.) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: "It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!"

94.) "Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?" -- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan

93.) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence... and he said "parole"."

92.) "He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink

91.) "NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy

90.) "Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura

89.) Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."

88.) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.

87.) "The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon

86.) Bobby Heenan on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."

85.) "Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby Heenan

84.) "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegetable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette

83.) "Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a stretcher? NO! I got right up and walked out!" -- Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries.

82.) "Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

81.) "I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White." -- Scotty "The Body" Anthony

80.) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"

79.) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"

78.) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"

77.) Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: "I see the rodeo's in town again."

76.) "Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- The Diamond Studd

75.) "I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack

74.) "Hollywood John Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! -- Scotty Anthony"

73.) "Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!" -- Scott Anthony

72.) "The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!" -- GWF announcer Anderson

71.) I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

70.) Bobby Heenan on the Rossati sisters: "The only thing they recognize is a buffet"

69.) "I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over." -- Scotty Anthony

68.) "Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamania and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?" -- Hulk Hogan

66.) Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."

65.) "Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zbyszko

64.) "This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack

63.) "I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning." -- Sgt. Slaughter after burning Hogan's face

62.) "I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate.

61.) "What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher

60.) "Macho madness lives forever!" -- Randy Savage

59.) "Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't." -- Randy Savage on Elizabeth being at WrestleMania VII

58.) "Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E.

57.) "Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speech impediment

56.) "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette

55.) "You cannot believe the mayhem!" -- Lance Russell after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.

54.) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestle Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."

53.) Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...

52.) "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby Heenan

51.) " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." -- (For the 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby Heenan

50.) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"

49.) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: "I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"

48.) "The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby Heenan

47.) "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwards." -- Jim Cornette

46.) I'm just this close to that world's heavyweight championship belt." -- Rusty Brooks

45.) "I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling." -- Jim Garvin

44.) "Eventually, even a blind squirrel will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette

43.) "I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack

42.) "Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk

41.) "It could be....Giant Baba!" -- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be.

40.) "I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old." -- Bob Backlund

39.) "You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

38.) "Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura

37.) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper

36.) "I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" -- Cactus Jack

35.) "Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!" -- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon

34.) "They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!" -- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express

33.) "Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper

34.) "Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan

33.) "The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura

32.) "I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack

31.) "I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense

30.) "Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper

29.) "Often immitated, but never duplicated!" -- Captain Lou Albano

28.) "Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair

27.) "$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!" -- Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair

26.) "Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margarine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper

25.) Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.

24.) "Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper

23.) "When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconscious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake

22.) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his face mask: "He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..."

21.) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tongue hanging out help his balance?"

20.) "It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food." -- Bam Bam Bigelow

19.) "I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." -- "Ravishing" Rick Rude

18.) "Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper

17.) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

16.) "I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut...$1 for each side." -- Scotty the Body Anthony

15.) "Aww, what's the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?" -- Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality

14.) "I'm the only man you wouldn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape." -- Billy Whatson

13.) "When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!" -- The Road Warriors in their AWA days

12.) "He has a lower occipital proturbance!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

11.) "If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack

10.) "Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox." -- Roddy Piper

9.) "I see you have wavy hair....its waving goodbye!" -- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer

8.) "He has a calcium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Harvard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene." -- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer

7.) "That's where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark

6.) "To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair

5.) "Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura

4.) "Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?" -- Roddy Piper

3.) "Nature Boy, what's that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" -- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname

2.) "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair

1.) (After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

[Corkscrewed]

The one I always point to (and I'm going off memory, so forgive me).


During a match, a guy hit another guy

MONSOON: And there's a shot to the anterior deltoids.

BRAIN: Why do you always refer to things by their scientific names?

MONSOON: I happen to think you should gain as much knowledge as you can and use it. Why don't you give it a try?

Guy kicks opponent in the stomach.

BRAIN: Kick to the uterus!

[Xero]

I don't remember it exactly, but it was the one where Rock was mocking Booker T talking about the special bus and adding. He dropped an F bomb in it.

[Linkbowler]

HHH: I"m bi a lot of things, but lingual isn't one of them.














...Did I just say that?

[Cool King]

Originally Posted by NO DQ.COM NoDQ.com > Features > 100 classic wrestling quotes Posted by Aaron Rift on 11/24/2005 at 08:29 PM In no particular order: 100-1

They are in an order. They are all numbered 100-1.

[redoneja]

Originally Posted by Draven Mean Gene was interviewing Piper before his I.C Title defense at Rumble 92' against The Mountie, and Piper said something along the lines of. Piper: Mountie if you think youre taking my title you must be dreaming, and I think they might be a little wet too.

Actually Piper was the Challenger to the Mountie. The Mountie defeated Bret Hart a couple days prior at a house show due to Hart having a "103 degree fever and the flu". Piper won and this set up the Wrestlmania 8 match.

[mrslackalack]

If I can recall correctly at the 92 Rumble when Virgil came out at a late number Gorilla mentioned what a number it was for him and Hennan said ''yeah he was back there searching through peoples bags'' Gorilla Will you stop. Classic

Hennan said that the Royal Rumble 92 match was his favorite match calling. I agree him and Gorilla were gold that night.

[Optimistic T]

Originally Posted by What Would Kevin Do? NoDQ.com > Features > 100 classic wrestling quotes Posted by Aaron Rift on 11/24/2005 at 08:29 PM In no particular order: 100.) Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music: Heenan: That's my second favorite song. Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. What's your favorite? Heenan: All the rest are tied. 99.) "Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots. 98.) "Ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage 97.) "He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon 96.) Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like two carp going after the same piece of corn." 95.) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: "It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!" 94.) "Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?" -- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan 93.) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence... and he said "parole"." 92.) "He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink 91.) "NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy 90.) "Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura 89.) Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound." 88.) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters: Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?" Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..." Brian: Nope...it means lard. 87.) "The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon 86.) Bobby Heenan on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous." 85.) "Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby Heenan 84.) "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegetable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette 83.) "Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a stretcher? NO! I got right up and walked out!" -- Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries. 82.) "Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik 81.) "I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White." -- Scotty "The Body" Anthony 80.) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!" 79.) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!" 78.) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!" 77.) Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: "I see the rodeo's in town again." 76.) "Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- The Diamond Studd 75.) "I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack 74.) "Hollywood John Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! -- Scotty Anthony" 73.) "Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!" -- Scott Anthony 72.) "The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!" -- GWF announcer Anderson 71.) I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper 70.) Bobby Heenan on the Rossati sisters: "The only thing they recognize is a buffet" 69.) "I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over." -- Scotty Anthony 68.) "Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamania and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?" -- Hulk Hogan 66.) Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag." 65.) "Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zbyszko 64.) "This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack 63.) "I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning." -- Sgt. Slaughter after burning Hogan's face 62.) "I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate. 61.) "What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher 60.) "Macho madness lives forever!" -- Randy Savage 59.) "Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't." -- Randy Savage on Elizabeth being at WrestleMania VII 58.) "Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E. 57.) "Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speech impediment 56.) "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette 55.) "You cannot believe the mayhem!" -- Lance Russell after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring. 54.) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestle Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again." 53.) Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana: Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of World Records? Gorilla: Yeah? For what? Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour. Gorilla: Will you stop... 52.) "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby Heenan 51.) " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." -- (For the 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby Heenan 50.) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!" 49.) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: "I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!" 48.) "The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby Heenan 47.) "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwards." -- Jim Cornette 46.) I'm just this close to that world's heavyweight championship belt." -- Rusty Brooks 45.) "I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling." -- Jim Garvin 44.) "Eventually, even a blind squirrel will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette 43.) "I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack 42.) "Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk 41.) "It could be....Giant Baba!" -- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be. 40.) "I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old." -- Bob Backlund 39.) "You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon 38.) "Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura 37.) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper 36.) "I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" -- Cactus Jack 35.) "Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!" -- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon 34.) "They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!" -- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express 33.) "Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper 34.) "Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan 33.) "The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura 32.) "I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack 31.) "I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense 30.) "Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper 29.) "Often immitated, but never duplicated!" -- Captain Lou Albano 28.) "Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair 27.) "$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!" -- Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair 26.) "Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margarine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper 25.) Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis: Gorilla: He's quite lethargic. Bobby: And slow. 24.) "Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper 23.) "When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconscious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake 22.) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his face mask: "He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..." 21.) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tongue hanging out help his balance?" 20.) "It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food." -- Bam Bam Bigelow 19.) "I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." -- "Ravishing" Rick Rude 18.) "Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper 17.) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs." 16.) "I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut...$1 for each side." -- Scotty the Body Anthony 15.) "Aww, what's the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?" -- Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality 14.) "I'm the only man you wouldn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape." -- Billy Whatson 13.) "When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!" -- The Road Warriors in their AWA days 12.) "He has a lower occipital proturbance!" -- Gorilla Monsoon 11.) "If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack 10.) "Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox." -- Roddy Piper 9.) "I see you have wavy hair....its waving goodbye!" -- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer 8.) "He has a calcium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Harvard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene." -- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer 7.) "That's where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark 6.) "To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair 5.) "Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura 4.) "Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?" -- Roddy Piper 3.) "Nature Boy, what's that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" -- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname 2.) "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair 1.) (After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

tl, dr