IDEAS TO HELP WWE CREATIVE CONTINUE ALIENATING FANS

IDEAS TO HELP WWE CREATIVE CONTINUE ALIENATING FANS by Doug Brown @ 5:40:00 PM on 2/15/2006 Last year, I did a three part series chronicling the failures of the WWE Creative Team since Stephanie McMahon was placed in charge. Since then, we've had Dr. Heinie, Randy Orton claiming Eddie Guerrero is in Hell, Kurt Angle saying that he doesn't like black people and that he hopes Iraq wins the war among other offensive things, Ric Flair's road rage, Edge and Lita's live sex show, and Who's Your Papi Dominic? as wrestling storylines. It never ceases to amaze me at just how low Vince and Stephanie will stoop. It is like they have no conscience. During the Monday Night Wars, it was okay, even hip to be a wrestling fan. Now it's back to frequently being embarrassed to be fan. While ratings and pay-per-view buyrates recently have gone up, they still are nowhere near where they used to be. Some of you have already questioned whether or not WWE is deliberately trying to run off their fans. If that is the case, I figure why don't they just go all the way with it. I have composed the following list of story ideas. Some are meant to be funny, while others are to illustrate just how bad the mentality around Titan Towers is. None of these ideas are meant to be taken seriously, but with their warped minds, I'll probably get a job offer soon. Warning: If you are someone that is easily offended, I encourage you to hit the "Back" button right now. 1.) Spend all this time building up John Cena as a major star, and then feed him to Triple H (Oh wait, that's one they are going to do) 2.) Put either the WWE Title or the World Heavyweight Title on Stephanie when she returns from maternity leave. 3.) That RVD guy doesn't have much potential, put him on jobber duty. 4.) Have the Diva Search replace one of the hours on Smackdown. 5.) Chris Benoit has outlived his usefulness, if he wants to go to TNA, let him. 6.) Why stop at just Eddie? Randy Orton can go after Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, the Big Bossman, Road Warrior Hawk, Miss Elizabeth, Brian Pillman, Owen Hart, etc. 7.) NEW TAG TEAM: T.L. Hopper and Bastion Booger 8.) After years of bragging about it, Vince finally shows us his "genetic jackhammer." 9.) NEW RAW GENERAL MANAGER: Mae Young 10.) Steal James Mitchell away from TNA, rehire Rikishi, and create a new finishing maneuver involving the lighting of farts. 11.) The Gymini can break out their old Johnson costumes, and face the Dicks in a Viagra-on-a-pole match. 12.) Rob Conway and Chris Masters against Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger in a the first ever "Gimmick Infringment" Match 13.) Bring out more McMahon family members that we haven't met yet. 14.) WRESTLEMANIA REMATCH: The Big Show vs. Akebono, loser washes the winner's thong 15.) Rico, Kwee Wee, Goldust, and the Heart Throbs against all five members of the Spirit Squad, with guest announcer Stevie Ray getting in as many uses of the phrase "Fruit Booty" as possible 16.) WRESTLER VS. CELEBRITY MATCH: Simon Dean vs. Richard Simmons 17.) Buy TNA and put more wrestlers out of work. 18.) Trish Stratus and Mickie James can face Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie, Candice Michelle and Victoria, the HLA girls, and Eric Bischoff's "bi-sexual lesbians" in the first ever WWE Lesbo-Lympics. 19.) Get rid of Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler, then let the Coach call the matches with Steve "Mongo" McMichael. 20.) Al Snow vs. the Godfather in a "Head to head" confrontation 21.) Bring back Nathan Jones to face Mark Henry. 22.) Spoof the recent legal troubles of former stars Ricky Morton, Marty Jannetty, and Billy Jack Haynes, but continue to ignore Vince's. 23.) The first ever flaming bags of dog poop match 24.) Bring back Mohammed Hassan for the next "Tribute to the Troops" special. 25.) Have Chavo Guerrero get tired of the "Eddie" chants during his matches and turn heel by urinating on Eddie's grave. 26.) Have Kurt Angle job the World Title to David Arquette. It worked so well for WCW didn't it? 27.) Have Lillian Garcia get into a brawl with Roseanne for the right to sing the national anthem. 28.) Since they haven't done an incest angle yet, Shane and Stephanie should get caught making out in the locker room. 29.) Since Vince wants to start doing drugs like back in the 80's, he can face Steve Austin in a beer chugging vs. cocaine snorting match. 30.) Have Shawn Michaels crucified. 31.) Because fans in other sports have gotten out of hand, the wrestlers should start attacking them first. Get them before they get you. 32.) Why stop at just Wrestlemania? All pay-per-views should be $49.95. 33.) Weekly state of the company addresses by Linda McMahon 34.) Brian Griffin vs. Scooby Doo in the return of the "Kennel from Hell" match 35.) Brooke Hogan as the prize in the first ever "Statutory Rape" Battle Royal 36.) Sex tips with Val Venis and Viscera 37.) CELEBRITY MATCH II: To promote the new movie Southland Tales, the Rock can team up Sean William Scott as Steve Stifler to face Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Kevin Smith as Silent Bob. 38.) Have all breast implants removed, because men like the natural look. 39.) Jake Roberts vs. the Boogeyman in a snakepit vs. wormpit match 40.) Steve Austin vs. the Sandman vs. Scott Hall with the ring set up in a giant pool filled with beer. 41.) Since the juniors division is on Smackdown, Raw should get the seniors division involving all of wrestlers that are legally classified as senior citizens. 42.) Remove all wrestling matches and give us two hours of in-ring promos and backstage vignettes. 43.) Since Vince is so proud of the Montreal Screwjob, he's going to branch out to the Houston Hustle, the Cincinnati Snowjob, the Toronto Twist, the San Diego Switcheroo, and the Chicago Shuck 'n' Jive. 44.) Due to most of the audience being teen males, they can start running public service announcements encouraging m**********n. 45.) Fire everyone under 270 pounds. 46.) All midget TV 47.) Start a new faction featuring the untalented offspring of great wrestlers from the past. 48.) A live debate featuring the Ultimate Warrior, George "the Animal" Steele, and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka with Funaki as the moderator. 49.) Despite the fact that he won, Vince can still bring up over and over again that he killed WCW and ECW. 50.) When Bret Hart comes up to the podium to accept his hall of fame induction plaque, he will find the name "Shawn Michaels" on it, giving Vince the chance to screw him once again. I receive e-mails each week from longtime fans who no longer watch WWE because of them doing garbage like the 50 really bad ideas that I just listed. We here on the internet are tired of writing about it, many of you have expressed that you are tired of it, and many of the wrestlers that are being forced into doing these things are tired of it. Maybe if enough of the wrestlers join Christian Cage and Team 3-D in jumping to TNA, WWE Management finally get the message. Feedback may be sent to Doug Brown at brownsbros3@yahoo.com.

CREDIT: PWInsiderXtra.com
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Add you own or comment and such...

[master]

its 2 late to read all that

I give a fuck...why?

[PullMyFinger]

Tbh, this post is pretty lame. We get the point, WWE doesn't have all their creative juices flowing.

Btw, I liked that Dominic feud with Eddie and Rey.

[master]

this is a pointless post..THATS WHY,,why read somthing we already know especially that long

Wrong, I still dont give a fuck. Try again.

[Loose Cannon]

You suck

[LK]

The Eddie/Rey/Dominic angle was ace

[Kane Knight]

Most of those I don't dare laugh at, as they'll probably happen. But....

31.) Because fans in other sports have gotten out of hand, the wrestlers should start attacking them first. Get them before they get you.

37.) CELEBRITY MATCH II: To promote the new movie Southland Tales, the Rock can team up Sean William Scott as Steve Stifler to face Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Kevin Smith as Silent Bob.

My favorite^^^