Screw Technical Wrestling

[Optimistic T]

There, I said it. Screw it. Screw Ring of Honor and this European style that I hear is all the rage. I could care less about watching guys flip and flop through fifty chained holds. It's boring as hell.

Give me larger than life characters like Hogan, Taker and Batista.

Give me promos from the best like Nash, HHH, Flair and Edge.

Give me great characters like Mr. McMahon, Raw GM Bischoff and Hassan.

Give me guys with gimmicks like Viscera and 'Pirate' Paul Burchill.

Give me some comedy characters like Boogeyman and Coach.

Give me guys with cool finishers like Brock, Big Show and HBK.

Give me a few spot monkeys like MNM, Kendrick & London, the Mexicools and RVD. Even if I do have to hear 'smarks' complain about how they deserve pushes and should be allowed to use more moves. Screw that. I like knowing when Benjamin is gonna go for his dragon whip kick or that HBK is gonna try for the elbow drop.

Hell, give me a few good wrestlers like Angle, HHH and Benoit who can cut it with the competition in promos, looks or intensity.

But SCREW these idiots saying so and so from Ring of Honor or Japan should come to WWE because they put on 90 minute classics. 90 minutes classics are boring. Newsflash... Hart/HBK's Iron Man was boring. Almost all matches over twenty minutes are.

It's fake. Pro-Wrestling is about creativity, whether it be good or bad. It's not about purists who drone on about Vince McMahon or David Arquette as a world champion ruining a title's legacy. It's about entertainment. It's not collegiate wrestling, for pete's sake. Even UFC knows that much and 'books' accordingly.

Seriously, I don't know about you guys but I love when a gimmick like Spirit Squad comes around and people complain about talented workers being held down. Correct me if I'm wrong, but some of these idiots were the same ones that said Jeff Hardy would be the next Shawn Michaels. Jeff Hardy sounds like marbles are falling out of his mouth when he talks. Still, he deserves TV time because he can crash threw a table with style and is marketable, unlike Greg Valentine who might've been technically superb but was nothing more than a jobber to the stars when it came to the big time.

Oh, and I also love it when a character gets on TV that 'smarks' deem talentless like a Gene Snitsky. Newsflash, these guys were trained. They know how to wrestle. Most of them know more than they ever use. There's no money in reversing a headlock into a hammerlock into a reversal. Hell, look at Flair. Most matches he works on the knee for like two or three moves these days.

I guarantee at least once in his life, a guy like Dusty Rhodes or Hogan or Snitsky or Viscera has sat down at his computer and checked out how David Meltzer or Scott Keith rated his latest PPV match a quarter star or a dud and laughed as they counted their money.

'Smarks' need to understand they're not the majority and their opinion doesn't really matter. Technical wrestling isn't the majority. 'Championship Credibility' isn't about who can go hold for hold. Ask NWA how much Dan Severn made as their World Champion for however long he held the title before TNA came along. Hell, ask Jeff Jarrett why practically every end to one of his PPV is overbooked with interference and guitars. It isn't about confusing people into thinking they were classics. It's about getting the fans interested in a rollercoaster ride at the end of the match. Will the bad guy win? Will the bad guy get trumped?

Go ask your average 'technical' flavor of the month in Ring of Honor or wherever how much money he's making. Check out what car he climbs into. Ask him if he owns his own house. Ask him what his 9-5 job is. Ask his girlfriend or wife or whoever if they work to pay rent too. Ask whoever runs Ring of Honor these days when they plan to sellout MSG or get a national TV deal. Watch 'em pause and stutter and laugh in their faces for Good Ol' OT.

That's it. That's all I gotta say.