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Old 06-20-2006, 05:23 AM   #1
Impeccable
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Raw Captions June 19th
I have loopydate's blessing to continue something that I believe was one of the best features of these forums, and that's the captions.

This is the first Raw Captions for a while. I'm sure you know how it works by now. We will have a captions of the month...at the end of the month.

My only problem this week is that there are no pictures of the fat chippendales at the very top of the show.
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Old 06-20-2006, 08:39 AM   #2
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Apologies for the ones that suck, but woot at being able to go first.

[CENTER]


*Thinking* I knew I came out here for something but what was it?

Shane: Dad I just phoned the dealer, he's out of weed.
Vince : Still!!

Girl being pulled: Ooh a penny.

WWE "drug testing" gives Candice heroin and Torrie Wilson ecstacy in an attempt to make womens matches more bearable.

Candice points out Maria's teeny weeny, setting up the forthcoming hearmaphrodite angle.

Triple H: So Michael, you want me to tell you how I got Steph pregnant.

Umaga reaches for a weapon. Its a mini estrrradda.

Khali Sneezed, Bah Gawd King.

In a recent recycling drive the spirit squad urges us to go green.

Worlds Most Obvious Blade Job

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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Old 06-20-2006, 08:41 AM   #3
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I'll be back with more.

Where's KK and loopy they're shit hot at this stuff.
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Old 06-20-2006, 09:21 AM   #4
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I know these are really gonna suck.... but here goes....


Vince: The doc used THIS many fingers to give me my prostate exam.

Shane: Why did you break the TitanTron for, Dad?
Vince: I didn't... Snitsky did....
Snitsky: IT WASN'T MY FAULT!



Vince realizes that green slime wrestling doesn't work real well...

....Nor does his new band the GREEN man group

Nickelodeon and You Can't Do That on Television called and wanted its gimmick back


Sabu JUST misses running over Cena's hand with his invisible car.



Spirit Squad Midget: Must.... stop.... looking... at.... HHH's..... dick... but... can't...




Me: .... Oh, sorry....

HHH: You're BOTH homos.



The South Park kids make an appearance on RAW and join DX.
[/CENTER][
Last edited by owenbrown; 06-20-2006 at 09:23 AM.
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Old 06-20-2006, 10:22 AM   #5
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King:ALMOST


King:ALMOST


King:ALMOST


King:AHHHH THERE WE ARE
JR:Whew good thing I bought those rubber pants
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Old 06-20-2006, 03:17 PM   #6
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Yeah, some of these are gonna be horrible. I'm out of practice. Sorry.




Vince: I just love that Star Trek show. Na nu, na nu


Shane: Theph'ths having the baby.
Vince: You can knock of the "drugged" thing, that was last week.
Shane: Thure thing, dad


Wow, when did WWE rehire Ivory?


Mickie: What do you mean, I don't get to lick these shorts?


Torrie: Candice, why are you covering your tits now when you posed for Playboy?


HHH: Yeah, we painted a spoiler about the next guy to join DX with that apple above Shawn's head. What are you gonna do about it, Coach?


Mitch: And THIS is for giving Vince the idea to team you two together to take the belts from us.


Estrrrrada: Listen... to me, ha-ha! I want joo to keel that Carrot Top wanna-be, ha-ha.


Just think, guys, Alannis Morrisette used to go through this on a weekly basis when she was a kid.


Behind the scenes photo of the stunt doubles from the set of Hulk 2.


Everybody, push in so we can all get messy!


Vis: Hey, I'M the only one allowed to eat Lillian!


Paul: So maybe last Tuesday DID suck. At least I'm not gonna be thrown through any walls tonight.


Lillian (to self): I wish they'd bring back The Fink for this love triangle story.


Director: CUT!!!! No, no, NO. Randy Savage didn't use the leg drop.


Cena: See what happens, Paul, when you're on the SCI-Fi channel... You get rematerialized halfway through the ring.


Cena: Not "See No Evil" again! Anything but that!


Go get 'em, Honky!


Shawn: Yes, folks, Hunter almost broke kayfabe.


It's one of those great axioms: Midgets, like monkies, are always funny.


A sneak peek at some of the rejects from the new Diva Search.


Girl #1: At least we're getting interrupted before we have to fumble with our bra straps for 2 minutes.


I think it was King who said it best: Just say "No" to crack.
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Old 06-20-2006, 03:46 PM   #7
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Mickie: Oh yeah thats how momma likes it mmmmm little to the left OH MY GOD


This is what happens when you piss off the jolly green giant


Ref: Judo Chop


Jessica Simpson makes a shocking WWE debut


Triple H: Your dad's a homo
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Old 06-20-2006, 05:19 PM   #8
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Mickie: You don't really expect me to go down on her, do you? It's covered in sores.
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Old 06-20-2006, 06:26 PM   #9
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Stephanie: Uh oh, my water broke.


Vince: SHE'S HAVING MY BABY NOW!?
Shane: Yeah, RIGHT no-.... YOUR BABY!?


Jobber: There's a spider on your face.
Umaga: WHERE!? WHERE!? *Spins around*


To please the Sci-Fi suits, the WWE move The Spirit Squad to ECW with a new gimmick. From left-to-right: The Green Smurf, Zombie #1, The Incredible Hulk, Zombie #2, and The Creature From the Green Lagoon.


Viscera: BLACK PAC MAN! WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!


Unfortunately for Cena, the Ring of Honor fans COULD see him.


Random Kid: LOOK DADDY! IT'S ALADIN!
Father: Naw, that ain't Bret.


Heyman: Uh, nooo... I don't want Balls in my mouth.


Guy in Yellow: I'M THE LESS ATTRACTIVE, MALE VERSION OF MICKIE JAMES AS TRISH'S STALKER!


Ric: Your chest is soooooooooooooo smooooooooth.
Ref: HEY! NO FEELING UP THE OPPONENT!


Always the one with the worst timing, Ric takes his mid-evening nap mid-match.


Now this is one "where's Waldo" which is near imposs-oh, there he is!


Carlito: For the last time, pretending I'm a Goomba is NOT COOL!


Hunter: Am I hung or what?

(A minute later...)


Shawn: IT IIIISSSSS!


It's sad when Shawn had to ask Hunter to do sweet chin because he couldn't reach the midget's face.


Hunter: I call this one lumpy.
Last edited by Xero; 06-20-2006 at 06:28 PM.
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Old 06-20-2006, 06:41 PM   #10
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After a trial run on Heat, shitty diaper DIVAS match failed brutally on RAW

After months of teasers, the Killer Whale is immediately squashed upon his debut.

After making his opponent float successfully, Umaga rewared himself by busting a little jig.

Viscera finally snapped, and attempted to violate Haas, and in a shocking turn, Haas let him.

The SSquad appeared shocked when told the green slime was actually liquid baby turds.

As Sabu attempted to fly away, Cena realized hiding behind a chair was stupid.

In a sad twist of fate, John Cena was actually booed to death Monday Night.

Cena was puzzled when a Fat midget was revealed as his new manager.

In a WWE first, Flair actually fell asleep while whipping Edge.(dang, beat to it )

Randy Orton had the misfortune of testing snitsky for Breast Cancer.

After finding a lump, Orton did his best to console an irrate snitsky.

Fans promply lost interest in DX's attempted Full Monty gimmick.

In a tragic scene from WWE Raw, old man group DX were arrested after beating up several small children from the crowd....News at 11.

Shawn giggled as HHH asked the crowd which child should get his anus-poked.
Last edited by Y2Jeremy; 06-20-2006 at 06:45 PM.
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Old 06-20-2006, 08:36 PM   #11
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SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!


Life lesson: Never steal a fat man's food.
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Old 06-20-2006, 09:37 PM   #12
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Mickie:Can you feel Herpes?
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Old 06-21-2006, 05:30 AM   #13
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Vince: I'm Gonna Pop a Cap In Yo Ass!

The WWE Fans finally see a guy who does Street Slang worse than Cena



Shane: Dad, you got it all wrong; you do the Kane Impression like This!



Chick in Brown: Can Ya'll Please... STOP STARING AT MY ASS!

Horny Males:



Mickie: Why do I smell fish?

Candice: My butt was hungry.

Mickie: Christy? Is that you?



Torrie: Wow, when I spin around, it looks like it's flying!



Torrie: Is it Chicken or Fish? I know it's Tuna, but it says on the package "Chicken of the Sea"

Candace:



Coach is about to get a Main Event Push, I see...



Sandman's caning a Zombie had NOTHING on the Spirit Squad's attack on the Blob



Estrada, Umaga, and Jobber: LASHLEY!!!!



Jobber: I am versed in the Japanese, Lucha Libre, and European styles. Why am I jobbing to a guy who used to team with a piece of S.H.I.T.?



The Aftermath of When Slimer attacks.



The response after they found out they have to go in after the Umbilical Chord just minutes after delivering Baby Levesque.



The entire cast of "You Can't Do that On Television" Tried to cover Luger's mouth, but it was no use...

(aka how to throw in a new twist to a Green Slime joke that's already been done fifteen times already.)



Viscera: Dr. Yankem, Dr. Yankem, I need your help!

Charlie: I'm not Kane, ok?

Viscera: Do you see any cavities?



Coach: (to himself) You know you're not fooling anybody with that hat, right?



Lilian sums up everyone's reaction to Jeff Jarret: NWA World Champion quite well.



And the winner of Extreme "Paper, Rock, Scissors" is?



Ref #1: Sheila! Noooooo!

Ref #2: Who's Sheila?

Ref #1: The Lady inside the Desk. She was my only friend.



The Telepathic Ref throws an Extreme Legend at Cena, hoping to kill him.



Sabu has a big black Sword, and a bad attitude.



To add to the ECW/Sci-Fi connection, a Ghost attacks Sabu to save Cena.



Cena: Which hand has the ball in it?

Paul: That one!

Cena: How did you know?

Paul: Your hands are open!



Balls Mahoney tries to out-do Scott Steiner in no-selling a brutal finisher, but comes up just a little bit short.



Ref: Excuse Me, Edge!

Edge: Not Now!



Lita Botches looking in the same direction as Edge.



Edge: Does my chest look as bad as yours does, or is it just me.

Ric: Shut up, I'm trying to cut your arm off with this saw.

Edge: That isn't a saw, that's your hand.

Ric: Shit, I knew I was forgetting something...



Rob: Dude, there's a Tribble on your head, let me get that for you.

Edge: That isn't a Trib.... (Decapitated)



What Vastardikai wanted to do instead of watch Raw...



Randy: Wow, if I hold this pose, it actually looks like I have muscles.



Gene looks to O'Haire for inspiration.



Zach Gowen makes his WWE Return...



The fans on the other side of this camera got to see exactly how many more Jeff Jarrett Title reigns it would take before TNA folds.



JR: Bah Gawd, the Ermac Fatality! This is all over!



Shawn sees in the crowd the image of Jesus giving him the finger, and he is confused.



Shawn: Yes, it is true, he really is my boyfriend.



What the hell happened to George "The Animal" Steele?



Shawn realizes, too late, that the midget Triple H kicked over was actually Rey Misterio.



Blonde: Um, girls, why is it cold in here, all of a sudden?

Brunettes: You took your shirt off. Dert-de-der.



Cameraman: Can I get an upskirt shot, please?



Hunter: Aren't you the Miz

Spirit Squad Member: No I'm not.

Hunter: Did you see that "Miz kicks ass" poster over there?

Spirit Squad Member: Hoo Rah! Shit! Look Hunter, don't tell Vince. I really need the two paychecks, ok?

Hunter: Ok, but you have to job to my Newborn on Raw Next Week.



Shawn Micheals' Breath is DEVASTATING.



Next Week, on Raw...Midgets giving blowjobs.
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Old 06-21-2006, 09:30 AM   #14
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I'm gald this is back. I needed those laughs.
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Old 06-21-2006, 01:45 PM   #15
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I told you not to use the words "I don't know" around here
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Old 06-21-2006, 02:19 PM   #16
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Must eat... MUST EAT

Zombie: Save some for me
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Old 06-21-2006, 03:55 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126

Stephanie: Uh oh, my water broke.
ROFLMAO

Win.






Now that Cena had Heyman trapped in the quicksand ring, it was time to force-feed him this gigantic invisible hero sandwich.
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Old 06-21-2006, 04:00 PM   #18
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This was, by far, the sexiest letter H ever.
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Old 06-22-2006, 04:28 AM   #19
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VINCE: Where's Brian Hebner when I...oh shit, I fired him. Well, I'll try the beat box myself.


WOW, JR must've gotten mad that a chick thought he had lost some weight, did he?


Candace looks at Torrie's ass, and sees that there's one place where there ISN'T any lipmarks at.




The Spirit Squad reacting to Jarrett possibly being the TNA champ again.






I know the Spirit Squad had some weird fetishes, but OH MY GOD!!


SS: Are you convinced NOW that Sean O'Haire's cage needs cleaned again?


At the bottom of The Pit WWE Version, the Spirit Squad just now realized that someone just did a Fatality on Goro.


HHH: This WWE show rules.
SHAWN: Yeah, we've seen zombies and vampires and midgets and people in O'Haire's waste.
COACH: [thinking] Why do I always get caught as the only guy who actually watches SmackDown?


COACH: Hey Paul, you think you had such a great show. Why did you buy a ticket to RAW, then?
PAUL: At least I'M not the one who will actually sit through an entire episode of SmackDown.
COACH: [thinking] God, not again.


LILLIAN: GOD I'm horny.
DARKPOWER:


CENA: GOD I'm horny.
VERMAT:


LITA: God I'm Horny.
EDGE:


Mick Foley was the glorified stuntman, so Ric HAD to be something, so he became the glorified homo.



CENA: What do you mean my CD sucked?
HEYMAN: Only one person actually bought it!
CENA: Gotta thank that person...oh shit, it can't be.
VERMAT:


Back when the WWE was actually WORTH giving a fuck about...


As much as Orton tried, Snisky was stubborn. This was one man Snisky did not want to kiss the feet of.


ORTON: KISS EM! NOW!
SNISKY: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!
REF: Must...get...into...position!


Nitro has seen too many previews for Superman Returns and decided to act the part.


Children, this is WHY you should never start trippin on LSD.


HHH: THIS is what Stephanie sucked on every night of the damn week.
SHAWN: [to random fan] You're telling me my shlong is HOW long?


CHICK IN CENTER: Why are we here again?
CHICK ON LEFT: To get some paychecks.
CHICK ON RIGHT: No, we also have to give Vince and HHH some head to get those. This is just so people will think we actually give a fuck about this shitty show.


Katie Vick is back...AND SHE BROUGHT ALL HER FRIENDS!!


HHH: Aren't you the guys who though that Goro's blood was O'Haire's shit? Damn, you're dumb.
SQUAD GUY: Whew, I thought this would be another "You're a homo" caption.
HBK: And by the way, you're a homo!
OTHER S. GUY: Goddamnit, Spirit Man, why did you have to go and say that?
Last edited by darkpower; 06-22-2006 at 04:35 AM.
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:00 PM   #20
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After a long captioning absence, X Pac has gained some new sucking powers. Here he demonstrates that he is now not only a magnet for suck, but also for metal.
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Old 06-22-2006, 06:28 PM   #21
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VINCE: MMMMMMFMMMMMMMMMMM!

[Translation: Rhiiiiiinoooooooooo!]



SHANE: No, I didn't set off the metal detector! There isn't a metal detector! You just went "Beep beep beep!" Now, QUIT PATTING ME DOWN!



Brian Wilson certainly picked the right week to buy a front-row ticket.



MICKIE: I don't understand, Vince. How did it break off?



TORRIE: But for it to be water-skiing, doesn't there need to be--WAAAAAAAAAAUGH!



TORRIE: Stop! Doing! "The Swim!" And! Sell! My! Offense!



HHH: ...and that was how I buried Booker T.

COACH [thinking]: I'm so fucking sick of this story.



No, Vince. We want to see The Rock in a wrestling ring. Not a rock.



UMAGA: AAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S RAINING JOBBERS AGAIN!!!



O'HAIRE: I left my cage for this?



NICKY: Kenny, are you sure the most direct way to the arena was to swim across the Hudson?



I seriously can't think of anything that isn't "You Can't Do That On Television"-related.



Lita is "Carrie!"



With one misstep, Haas learned that it is true what they say about black men.



PAUL: That's right. I'm taking this vase to the extreeeeeeeeeeeeeme!



LILLIAN: I hope Vis won't notice that I have a bald man growing out the side of my head...



Nobody was surprised that Cena's in-ring style didn't change a bit after his lobotomy.



KING: Oh, no! Cena's holding onto JR's list of dated pop-culture references! Without that, we'll have nothing but dead air for the next two hours!



Sabu farts...WITH AUTHORITY!



SABU: ...into Slot F. It was bad enough that Vince is burying us all, did he need to make us work on the ring crew, too?



SABU: And this for toilet-papering my arm, DICK!

---

More later. Maybe.
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Old 06-22-2006, 11:13 PM   #22
MickieJames
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MickieJames has done some stupid things
damm dat shit was so funy!!!u guys should make nicer jokes about Mickie James and John Cena cuz they are KOOL!!!
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Old 06-23-2006, 12:54 AM   #23
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lol
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Old 06-23-2006, 01:30 AM   #24
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Vince:..And so I stuck my hand in, and when I eventually pulled it out my ring was missing



Shane: SO you did lose a ring in their.



Guy in yellow shirt: Wouldya look at that hemoroid



Mickie James: AWW YEAH SHAVEN



Torrie: And viola, Sabu is gone



Torrie: LASHLEY!



HHH: C'mon Coach, we know you wanna look at the photo behind us of Shawn giving Vince his prostate exam.



SS guy: Is it dead?



CALL SECURITY, X-PAC IS ON THR ROOF, I REPEAT..



Umage: Damn laxitives



Who let the SS Toilet overflow



SS guy in middle: I swear Viscera, we don't taste minty



Vince: To much Spirit Squad, going...to...Greengasm



Viscera always needed a friend when getting a prostate exam



Coach thinking to himself: Heh heh heh, and once again no one's the wiser.

Paul: YOU'RE THE ZOMBIE!

Coach:...shit



Lilian wasn't looking at th screen because it was focused on her. She was looking at the screen wondering why the camera guy had a stripe of jizz on the back of his cap.



John Cena thinking to himself: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow



Lawler: I didn't think my balls smelt that bad



Shake it like a polaroid picture



Sabu: Take this Cena

Ref: Aww shit he's gone senile



Sabu: AWAAAAAAY



Cena: What you mean you don't give head



Cena: I'm Gonna Eat Balls



The Three R's (Rated R Superstar, Ric Flair, Ref)



Lita: Shleeeeepy



Flair: Shleepy



RVD: BACKWARDS K



DO THA HUSTLE



ORton: You're not getting the first snowflake of the year...BITCH



Snitsky: Praise Alah

Orton: No, you fool, you'll be taken off television



Nitro: STRETCH AWAY



Carlito: I think they lowered the ring ropes



Vince: DAMMIT I THOUGHT THEY CAUGHT X-PAC



HBK: Aww shit, craped my pants



HBK: Yep, I did



Midget: RAAAR TESTICLES



HHH: -poot-

HBK: ITSA BOY



WE'RE MEN



STILL MEN



HHH: Ur a homo

Spirit Squad guy: Nah he is



Spirit Squad huy: Look I'm Kevin Nas...AHH

HHH, HBK: Aww Shiit



HBK: The one in front of me has pincers coming out of his ass
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:28 AM   #25
Lock Jaw
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Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Lock Jaw makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
Haven't read any so I may repeat...


Mickie: BOOGEYMAN?!


The Spirit Squad, those noble souls that they are, pitch in to rescue a beached whale.


THE OOZE!! Play peaceful music!


The Spirit Squad. You wouldn't like them when they're angry.


God makes his triumphant return to WWE.


Vis: Cream Filling! CREAM FILLING!!!


John Cena's new and improved STFU ended when he managed to stretch his mouth so much to eat his opponent.
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:37 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Impact!


Torrie: And viola, Sabu is gone
ROFLMAO

I dunno why, but I thought this was hilarious. So randomly creative, and it works.
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:39 AM   #27
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BLONDE: I'm insulted. How can people rate our boobs only a D+? These are so totally A+ boobs.

BRUNETTE:



** alternative **





BLONDE: OX? Why are we promoting oxes? We're not cattle!

BRUNETTE:
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Old 06-23-2006, 07:16 AM   #28
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Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Impact! puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
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