Classic Bobby Heenan

**Razor Rybek** · 02-11-2004, 07:02 PM

IMO "The Brain" was the funniest commentater i have ever listened to whilst watching the WWF, constantly insulting his partner Gorrilla Monsoon and coming up with side splitting one liners.

So please share your Classic Bobby "The Brain" Heenan moments.....

**Disturbed316** · 02-11-2004, 07:08 PM

Bobby is indeed the greatest

**Arashi Kage** · 02-11-2004, 07:10 PM

It's been so long that I can't remember any specifics of The Brain's commentary (WWF or even WCW).

As for classic moments, you gotta love Heenan's "act" of flipping out whenever someone forces him to wear a weasel suit. I saw Greg Gagne do it to him in AWA, and Ultimate Warrior put him in the weasel suit once. Great performance by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

**Good Ol JG** · 02-11-2004, 07:18 PM

I liked when Flair made his first appearance on WWE TV in 91 on Primetime and Heenan was acting all nervous backstage, griping at everyone in the back on his way out to the set and talking about how everything had to be perfect for Flair. Also his commentary during the 92 Royal Rumble was awesome.

02-11-2004, 07:20 PM

Well there's the infamous barber shop segment

Heenan, "Look Monsoon, Jannetty just jumped throught the window, what a cowad"

Then there's WM9 when the other Doink came into the ring and he was saying how it was a great trick and that there was a battery in the ring to create the illusion.

Then there's the time at WM8 when he totally lost it with Monsoon during the match after Flair lost his title.

Also on WM8 when Tatanka was doing his dance around the ring, the says, "I think Tantanka might have some thumbtacks in his boots."

Oh yeah, at Royal Rumble 92, it was the midway point and Flair just eliminated someone which left him as the only one in the ring and Heenan says, "That's it, Flair wins the World Title, Flair wins." Monsson then said it wasn't over yet.

I'll post more later

02-11-2004, 07:28 PM

Here is a site you can find a ton of Heena quotes. Enjoy http://www.cagematch.de/_/features/a...y/heenan.shtml

**Razor Rybek** · 02-11-2004, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

Here is a site you can find a ton of Heena quotes. Enjoy http://www.cagematch.de/_/features/a...y/heenan.shtml

Class!

02-11-2004, 07:54 PM

These are some of my favs

(Bobby on Kerry Von Erich and his Tornado Punch)
Brain: "Oh my, what a GREAT scientific move! A punch to the head!!"

Ross: Virgil is unconscious.
Bobby: When Virgil's unconscious he's usually on his feet talking to you.

"It's very easy to beat the 1-2-3 Kid. You put a glass of milk down and a couple of oreo cookies. When he goes for 'em, put the boots to him."

(From Nitro)
Bischoff to McMichaels: Did you ever play (football) while unconscious
Brain: His whole career!

"The last time I saw Typhoon move like that is when one of those humanoids opened a package of Little Debbie's snack cakes"

Ross: I used to wear bib overalls back in grade school.
Brain: Toughest 18 years of your life, huh?

(During a Pillman/Benoit v. Armstrongs match on Worldwide the Brain had really cracked up Schiavone to the point where Schiavone missed a couple of moves because he was giggling)
Schiavone: "Folks, I apologize for laughing at this man... "
Heenan: "Why? Everybody laughs at Scott Armstrong!"

^^^^^I have that one on tape, it's hillarious when Schiavone can't stop laughing.

(At RR '92, after Piper had just clothesline Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair)
Brain: "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy! It's a kilt! It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!"
(And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later)
Brain: "Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!"

(During the Shawn Michaels/Marty Jannetty Intercontinental Title match at Royal Rumble 93, Michaels threw Jannetty out of the ring)
Brain: "Shawn, you gotta piledrive him on the steps, break his neck and his shoulders."
Monsoon: "Will you stop!"
Brain: "It's a good amatuer move!"

"What the **** are you doing?"
-- Bobby "The Brain" Heenan to Brian Pillman during a live WCW Clash of the Champions broadcast, January 1996

^^^Classic Loose Cannon moment

**Innovator** · 02-11-2004, 08:10 PM

Refering to locations recieving WMVIII
Brain: 30 countries?
Gorilla: Yes indeed
Brain: Spell em

Ross: Back in Oklahoma, Bobby, we called a match like this a slobberknocker
Bobby: I thought that's what they called the waitress at the Tip Top cafe in Downtown Tulsa.

Undertaker does his tightrope walk.
Jim Ross: Look at that balance!
Bobby: I walked all four corners once.

**Mikey** · 02-11-2004, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

Here is a site you can find a ton of Heena quotes. Enjoy http://www.cagematch.de/_/features/a...y/heenan.shtml

**Corkscrewed** · 02-12-2004, 01:09 AM

Oh man, those are classics! Heenan was definitely the man, possibly the greatest announcer ever (he is in my book). He was absolutely hilarious, and I really wish he was back.

Oh well, at least he's feeling good now, recovered from cancer treatment and all.

**Bad Guy** · 02-12-2004, 01:59 AM

Brain: That's my pin-up girl
Gorilla: I think you should see your occulist
Brain: There's nothing wrong with my feet

**Synergy** · 02-12-2004, 04:01 AM

His Summerslam 92 commentary for the Bret/Bulldog match was great too, between harping on about being the King of England and deliberately getting things confused he was great.

Vince made some comment about how Lennox Lewis (who had led Bulldog to the ring) was facing some boxer called Razor later in the year and Heenan went nuts saying "RAZOR RAMON IS FACING LENNOX LEWIS?!"

Oh and I seem to remember him suggesting Bret should attack his own sister at the end

**EazyMack** · 02-12-2004, 04:45 AM

Quote:

"The Brain" was the funniest commentater

No doubt, and still would be if he came back.

Quote:

Here is a site you can find a ton of Heena quotes. Enjoy http://www.cagematch.de/_/features/...ny/heenan.shtml

THANKS!

**Innovator** · 02-12-2004, 11:43 AM

"I'd love to see a midget battle royale, throw your man over the bottom rope"

**ColdwaVer** · 02-12-2004, 03:18 PM

About Bret Hart: He's got more oil in his hair than there is in the whole middle east.
About Repo Man: I hear this guy reposessed his own car once!

**Rob** · 02-12-2004, 07:06 PM

CLASSIC BOBBY HEENAN

Gorilla : (Referring to Koko B. Ware's bird, Frankie) "Those birds can live to be twenty-five or thirty years old"
Brain : "Not in my house"
Gorilla : "I'm sure"
Brain : "If he was in my house he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag; do you like your parrots original or extra crispy?"
Gorilla : (His favorite response to anything Bobby says, exasperated) "Will you stop?"

Gorilla : (Referring to a match in progress in Texas) "Well, we'll be right back with a fight that's taking place very near where a big fight occurred many years ago"
Brain : "You know why there were only 220 mexicans at the Alamo?
Gorilla : "Why?"
Brain : "They only had one car"

Brain : "Do you know what Koko B. Ware's mom's name is?"
Gorilla : "What?"
Brain : "Tupper"

"A friend in need is a pest."

"You don't have to yell at me! I'm not blind!"

(Bobby on the WWF's 1-900 number)
Gorilla: "Kids, ask your parent's permission before calling."
Brain: "And if they don't give you permission, just take a baseball bat, sneak up behind them, and BAM!!"

At Havoc 94 Flair walks by Bischoff and Brain was holding up 4 fingers. Hogan walks by after Flair has entered the cage.
Bischoff: "When Flair walked by he held up 4 fingers. That was the sign of the 4 Horsemen"
Brain: "When Hogan walked by I held up one finger"

"You know they say money can't buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile"

"Thank goodness for next year, huh Ross. Indoor plumbing comes to Oklahoma."

Regarding Davey Boy Smith:
"Million dollar body, ten cent mind and Whoopi Goldberg's hairdo"

(In reference to Stu and Helen Hart in attendance)
"You know why they're nervous? They snuck in. They're looking out for the
usher."

(During IC title match)
Brain: Don't touch that referee Perfect!
Gorilla: Why? A disqualification will save his title.
Brain: O.K. Then nail him!

"If I was managing the Bushwackers, I'd commit suicide."

Refering to Jim Neidhart:
"The man is nuts! He's got papers to prove it!"

During the Rockers incident on the Barber Shop:
Heenan: �They need each other�
As the were shaking hands: �See, one without the other isn't any good.�
After the superkick: �Oh, I knew he was going to do that. I just knew he was going to do that. He don't need Jannetty. I�ve been telling you that off and on.
Gorilla: �Are you kidding me!?�

During same match after Brain bets Gorilla dinner, winner picks the place: "Come on Sherri! I've got a double whopper riding on this!"

"It's very easy to beat the 1-2-3 Kid. You put a glass of milk down and a
couple of oreo cookies. When he goes for 'em, put the boots to him."

Brain: How many kids does Helen Hart have?
McMahon: I believe 12, Mr. Heenan.
Brain: Oh, one of each.

"Wouldn't you classify that 20 members of the Hart family living together is classified as a ghetto"

"Giving the Nasty Boys the Tag Team of the year award is like giving the Cindy Crawford beauty award to Roseanne Barr."

"Do you know what 'Ariba' means. It means 'Swim faster, the boarder gaurds are behind us".

(Refering to the Steiner Brothers)
"Three toughest years of their life...the eighth grade"

On an episode of Wrestling Challenge:
BH: Gorilla, what's with you naming all the body parts?
GM: I happen to have a knowledge about it. Why don't you try it?
(Heenan does. Skinner kicks a jobber in the stomach.)
BH: There's a kick to the uterus.

(At RR '92, after Piper had just clothesline Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair)
Brain: "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy! It's a kilt!
It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!"
(And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later)
Brain: "Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!"

Heenan: "What's the first letter in the word 'and?'"
Tony: "'A.'"
Heenan: "No, you didn't hear me. What's the first letter in the word 'and?'"
Tony: "'A!'"
Heenan: "Forget it. You must be Canadian."

Savage: And where would Rick Steiner be?
Heenan: Probably on Page 3 of a comic book. He'll be there for a while.

02-11-2004, 07:02 PM	#1
Razor Rybek Idiot In Training Posts: 353	Classic Bobby Heenan IMO "The Brain" was the funniest commentater i have ever listened to whilst watching the WWF, constantly insulting his partner Gorrilla Monsoon and coming up with side splitting one liners. So please share your Classic Bobby "The Brain" Heenan moments.....

02-11-2004, 07:08 PM	#2
Disturbed316 Posts: 22,695	Bobby is indeed the greatest

02-11-2004, 07:10 PM	#3
Arashi Kage Painkiller Posts: 1,124	It's been so long that I can't remember any specifics of The Brain's commentary (WWF or even WCW). As for classic moments, you gotta love Heenan's "act" of flipping out whenever someone forces him to wear a weasel suit. I saw Greg Gagne do it to him in AWA, and Ultimate Warrior put him in the weasel suit once. Great performance by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

02-11-2004, 07:18 PM	#4
Good Ol JG Paragraphs killed Jesus. Posts: 203	I liked when Flair made his first appearance on WWE TV in 91 on Primetime and Heenan was acting all nervous backstage, griping at everyone in the back on his way out to the set and talking about how everything had to be perfect for Flair. Also his commentary during the 92 Royal Rumble was awesome.

02-11-2004, 07:20 PM	#5
Loose Cannon Guest Posts: n/a	Well there's the infamous barber shop segment Heenan, "Look Monsoon, Jannetty just jumped throught the window, what a cowad" Then there's WM9 when the other Doink came into the ring and he was saying how it was a great trick and that there was a battery in the ring to create the illusion. Then there's the time at WM8 when he totally lost it with Monsoon during the match after Flair lost his title. Also on WM8 when Tatanka was doing his dance around the ring, the says, "I think Tantanka might have some thumbtacks in his boots." Oh yeah, at Royal Rumble 92, it was the midway point and Flair just eliminated someone which left him as the only one in the ring and Heenan says, "That's it, Flair wins the World Title, Flair wins." Monsson then said it wasn't over yet. I'll post more later

02-11-2004, 07:28 PM	#6
Loose Cannon Guest Posts: n/a	Here is a site you can find a ton of Heena quotes. Enjoy http://www.cagematch.de/_/features/a...y/heenan.shtml

02-11-2004, 07:54 PM	#8
Loose Cannon Guest Posts: n/a	These are some of my favs (Bobby on Kerry Von Erich and his Tornado Punch) Brain: "Oh my, what a GREAT scientific move! A punch to the head!!" Ross: Virgil is unconscious. Bobby: When Virgil's unconscious he's usually on his feet talking to you. "It's very easy to beat the 1-2-3 Kid. You put a glass of milk down and a couple of oreo cookies. When he goes for 'em, put the boots to him." (From Nitro) Bischoff to McMichaels: Did you ever play (football) while unconscious Brain: His whole career! "The last time I saw Typhoon move like that is when one of those humanoids opened a package of Little Debbie's snack cakes" Ross: I used to wear bib overalls back in grade school. Brain: Toughest 18 years of your life, huh? (During a Pillman/Benoit v. Armstrongs match on Worldwide the Brain had really cracked up Schiavone to the point where Schiavone missed a couple of moves because he was giggling) Schiavone: "Folks, I apologize for laughing at this man... " Heenan: "Why? Everybody laughs at Scott Armstrong!" ^^^^^I have that one on tape, it's hillarious when Schiavone can't stop laughing. (At RR '92, after Piper had just clothesline Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair) Brain: "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy! It's a kilt! It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!" (And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later) Brain: "Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!" (During the Shawn Michaels/Marty Jannetty Intercontinental Title match at Royal Rumble 93, Michaels threw Jannetty out of the ring) Brain: "Shawn, you gotta piledrive him on the steps, break his neck and his shoulders." Monsoon: "Will you stop!" Brain: "It's a good amatuer move!" "What the **** are you doing?" -- Bobby "The Brain" Heenan to Brian Pillman during a live WCW Clash of the Champions broadcast, January 1996 ^^^Classic Loose Cannon moment

02-11-2004, 08:10 PM	#9
Innovator Inno Knows. Posts: 43,710	Refering to locations recieving WMVIII Brain: 30 countries? Gorilla: Yes indeed Brain: Spell em Ross: Back in Oklahoma, Bobby, we called a match like this a slobberknocker Bobby: I thought that's what they called the waitress at the Tip Top cafe in Downtown Tulsa. Undertaker does his tightrope walk. Jim Ross: Look at that balance! Bobby: I walked all four corners once.

02-12-2004, 01:09 AM	#11
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	Oh man, those are classics! Heenan was definitely the man, possibly the greatest announcer ever (he is in my book). He was absolutely hilarious, and I really wish he was back. Oh well, at least he's feeling good now, recovered from cancer treatment and all.

02-12-2004, 01:59 AM	#12
Bad Guy TPWW VET Posts: 10,837	Brain: That's my pin-up girl Gorilla: I think you should see your occulist Brain: There's nothing wrong with my feet

02-12-2004, 04:01 AM	#13
Synergy Indifferent Posts: 31	His Summerslam 92 commentary for the Bret/Bulldog match was great too, between harping on about being the King of England and deliberately getting things confused he was great. Vince made some comment about how Lennox Lewis (who had led Bulldog to the ring) was facing some boxer called Razor later in the year and Heenan went nuts saying "RAZOR RAMON IS FACING LENNOX LEWIS?!" Oh and I seem to remember him suggesting Bret should attack his own sister at the end

02-12-2004, 11:43 AM	#15
Innovator Inno Knows. Posts: 43,710	"I'd love to see a midget battle royale, throw your man over the bottom rope"

02-12-2004, 03:18 PM	#16
ColdwaVer Darth Teedious Posts: 4,634	About Bret Hart: He's got more oil in his hair than there is in the whole middle east. About Repo Man: I hear this guy reposessed his own car once!

02-12-2004, 07:06 PM	#17
Rob Part time poster Posts: 22,963	CLASSIC BOBBY HEENAN Gorilla : (Referring to Koko B. Ware's bird, Frankie) "Those birds can live to be twenty-five or thirty years old" Brain : "Not in my house" Gorilla : "I'm sure" Brain : "If he was in my house he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag; do you like your parrots original or extra crispy?" Gorilla : (His favorite response to anything Bobby says, exasperated) "Will you stop?" Gorilla : (Referring to a match in progress in Texas) "Well, we'll be right back with a fight that's taking place very near where a big fight occurred many years ago" Brain : "You know why there were only 220 mexicans at the Alamo? Gorilla : "Why?" Brain : "They only had one car" Brain : "Do you know what Koko B. Ware's mom's name is?" Gorilla : "What?" Brain : "Tupper" "A friend in need is a pest." "You don't have to yell at me! I'm not blind!" (Bobby on the WWF's 1-900 number) Gorilla: "Kids, ask your parent's permission before calling." Brain: "And if they don't give you permission, just take a baseball bat, sneak up behind them, and BAM!!" At Havoc 94 Flair walks by Bischoff and Brain was holding up 4 fingers. Hogan walks by after Flair has entered the cage. Bischoff: "When Flair walked by he held up 4 fingers. That was the sign of the 4 Horsemen" Brain: "When Hogan walked by I held up one finger" "You know they say money can't buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile" "Thank goodness for next year, huh Ross. Indoor plumbing comes to Oklahoma." Regarding Davey Boy Smith: "Million dollar body, ten cent mind and Whoopi Goldberg's hairdo" (In reference to Stu and Helen Hart in attendance) "You know why they're nervous? They snuck in. They're looking out for the usher." (During IC title match) Brain: Don't touch that referee Perfect! Gorilla: Why? A disqualification will save his title. Brain: O.K. Then nail him! "If I was managing the Bushwackers, I'd commit suicide." Refering to Jim Neidhart: "The man is nuts! He's got papers to prove it!" During the Rockers incident on the Barber Shop: Heenan: �They need each other� As the were shaking hands: �See, one without the other isn't any good.� After the superkick: �Oh, I knew he was going to do that. I just knew he was going to do that. He don't need Jannetty. I�ve been telling you that off and on. Gorilla: �Are you kidding me!?� During same match after Brain bets Gorilla dinner, winner picks the place: "Come on Sherri! I've got a double whopper riding on this!" "It's very easy to beat the 1-2-3 Kid. You put a glass of milk down and a couple of oreo cookies. When he goes for 'em, put the boots to him." Brain: How many kids does Helen Hart have? McMahon: I believe 12, Mr. Heenan. Brain: Oh, one of each. "Wouldn't you classify that 20 members of the Hart family living together is classified as a ghetto" "Giving the Nasty Boys the Tag Team of the year award is like giving the Cindy Crawford beauty award to Roseanne Barr." "Do you know what 'Ariba' means. It means 'Swim faster, the boarder gaurds are behind us". (Refering to the Steiner Brothers) "Three toughest years of their life...the eighth grade" On an episode of Wrestling Challenge: BH: Gorilla, what's with you naming all the body parts? GM: I happen to have a knowledge about it. Why don't you try it? (Heenan does. Skinner kicks a jobber in the stomach.) BH: There's a kick to the uterus. (At RR '92, after Piper had just clothesline Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair) Brain: "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy! It's a kilt! It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!" (And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later) Brain: "Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!" Heenan: "What's the first letter in the word 'and?'" Tony: "'A.'" Heenan: "No, you didn't hear me. What's the first letter in the word 'and?'" Tony: "'A!'" Heenan: "Forget it. You must be Canadian." Savage: And where would Rick Steiner be? Heenan: Probably on Page 3 of a comic book. He'll be there for a while.