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Old 11-14-2006, 12:13 PM   #1
Stickman
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What does the Ultimate Warrior do?
Seriously? He hasn't wrestled in years, I doubt very much he was capable of saving the "millions" he "earned" through wrestling. He's always in a lawsuit it seems like. How does the guy make ends meet? Fluffer maybe?

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Old 11-14-2006, 12:27 PM   #2
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Selling his things on e-bay, and queering.
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Old 11-14-2006, 01:45 PM   #3
The Fear
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So Warrior doesn't make the world go 'round?
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Old 11-14-2006, 02:02 PM   #4
Gerard
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He performs shakespeare at some special events, "alas my career i knew it well"
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Old 11-14-2006, 03:39 PM   #5
Bad Company
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Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I'd say he would of made enough on his last WCW run to keep him well fed for the rest of his life.
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:02 PM   #6
Chuck Jones
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Lecture circuit.
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:04 PM   #7
Disturbed316
 
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Neo Nazi
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:15 PM   #8
Hanso Amore
You can't teach that
 
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he hosts the yearly Ultimate Warrior's Ultimate fag Drag
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:16 PM   #9
M-A-G
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:35 PM   #10
addy2hotty
yes. yes. yes.
 
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The Ultimate Warrior wakes up in the morning. Uses the toilet, has a wash, brushes his teeth and then has a quick shout at himself in the mirror. On the mirror is a hastily put together lipstick-drawn characture of Gene Okerlund with a microphone. As he gets dressed for the day ahead, he shouts "How must I prepare you must ask yourself. Shall I jump of the tallest building of the world, or do I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawnmowers, or should I go to Africa and let it trample me with raging elephants". Struggling to decide, he simply slips on some shorts and an old Warrior t-shirt from days gone by.

He runs down the stairs of his 2-floored house, and draws back his curtains. Once completed, he pulls hard on the reinforced drawstrings to psyche himself up for his day.

He makes his breakfast, first a bowl of cornflakes which he shouts randomly at for 'simply floating like a bird in the sky in the milk'.

He leaves his house, walking into town to buy some groceries. As members of the public walk by, he randomly mutters - 'Normal people, the people who walk the streets every day we cannot understand!'

Sometimes Warrior sinks to his knees, some members of the public check if he's ok, others call the police, others leave cash in front of him.

Unable to continue to walk by said members of the public, he returns home to enter his car, a Warriored-up 2CV, and progresses to the petrol/gas station where he is met by an attendant who he tells "Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel!".

Again the police are called, mainly after some random barking and shouting by Warrior. The Gas station attendants provide him with car fuel, and a Twix. Which calms him down enough to leave.

He procedes to the bank for a meeting with the bank manager, who sadly tells him that funds are low. Warrior, shocked by this information, decides to disown money completely, happy that he can live on his Warrior soul instead. The bank manager, after a gorilla press slam, hears Warrior utter his contempt for his occupation as he leaves. "All the money in the world can't buy what it takes to be a champion Ted Dibiase. Dollars do not buy desire , bankrolls do not build biceps, and the world does not sing your praises because of c-notes!"

Warrior returns home after a difficult day, he creates his dinner, a Meat-Loaf and fries scenario, and sits down at the table and monitors the dish closely before naming the various parts of his dinner. After a while, shouting ensues -

"I can smell it...it is in the air...the cosmic powers of Mars...the clouds of Jupiter...the rings of saturn...the boiling heat of Mercury. Something's gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, I need not Earthquake insurance. I need not health insurance. I will never need life insurance. For the Warriors all know, the life that flows in their body IS NOT THAT OF THE NORMALS. The marrow in these bones is of a differnet composition. The blood in these veins is of a diffent consistency. The brain waves in my mind are of an unknown frequency. The muscles that the Warriors attact themselves to is of a different structure. Not even you Dino Bravo... not even you Jimmy Hart...not even a natural disaster, can stop me, as I take the Warriors and fullfill the Ultimate Destiny."

As his tirade at the tasty dish ensues, his neighbours bang on his door, demanding an end to his loud beration-of-dinner sessions. He answers the door, and is confronted by his neighbours, a retired Army general and a funeral director. Before they can say anything, Warrior tells them exactly what to go do with themselves - "I, Sgt. Slaughter was born from the darkness you fear. I have had to learn to live in the light of this normal universe, and neither you Sgt Slaughter, nor you Undertaker, have the seal to the fate of my destiny - the destiny of my Warriors. Tonight, there will be no visions of Royal Rumble, Tonight there will be no 'mother of all battles', for I Sgt Slaughter bring you THE ULTIMATE BATTLE!!!"

The General, visably upset, once again alerts the police to Warriors actions. They arrive, armed with stun guns and nightsticks, and procede to put the Warrior to sleep.

Where he dreams of days gone by.

And so ends a normal day in the life of the Ultimate Warrior, a valued member of the community.
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:40 PM   #11
Nowhere Man
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I imagine Warrior's day usually goes by pretty much the same way as a Happy Noodle Boy comic.
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:42 PM   #12
M-A-G
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addy...you are the MAN!!!
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:44 PM   #13
Caged Heat18
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He's a professor at Warrior University.
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Old 11-14-2006, 10:22 PM   #14
owenbrown
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Addy
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Old 11-15-2006, 07:06 PM   #15
Fox
"Ask him!"
 
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His official title is a "political speaker," however I really think it's just a cover for his real title: "child molester."
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Old 11-15-2006, 07:09 PM   #16
ron the dial
the heartbreak king
 
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Addy's scenario doesn't sound too far off base from what I imagine.
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Old 11-16-2006, 01:07 AM   #17
Vastardikai
Taller than Adam Cole
 
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I think he's probably having a debate with the Iron Sheik, the sheer insanity of the dialogue causing Global Warming.
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