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Old 09-11-2007, 10:40 PM   #1
FourFifty
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The writers for wwe.com have TOO MUCH time on their hands.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/s...les/ronsimmons

Worst. Interview. Ever.

Quote:
Theodore Long’s wedding is less than two weeks away, and one would assume that his best man, Ron Simmons, is busy finalizing plans for the groom’s side of the ceremony. You know – things like setting up the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen and, perhaps most importantly, stashing the ring for the big day.
Of course, it would be a lot easier to know this with any certainty if Mr. Simmons wasn’t a man of few words. All week, WWE.com tried to catch up with Simmons for an interview, but he was never available. Assuming he was busy helping Long with wedding plans, we kept trying.
Finally, early Monday morning, the best man showed up unexpectedly at the WWE.com offices, willing to grant us an interview. But as Simmons isn’t very talkative these days, the chat was quite quick. Below is a transcript of the conversation one almost has to hear to believe.
WWE.com: So Ron, I imagine you and Teddy have been busy making pre-wedding plans. How’s that going, and how is he holding up as the big day approaches?
Ron Simmons: [pauses, thinks for a minute] SLAMMED!
WWE.com: Yes, well, that’s understandable, there’s a lot to do when planning a wedding. Hopefully, his bachelor party will help put him at ease. Any cool tidbits about the bachelor party you can share with our fans?
Ron: [pauses] PLAN!
WWE.com: Uhh…plans are good. So, uh, we know who Kristal’s bridesmaids are. Can you tell us who else is going to be in the groom’s party?
Ron: [pauses] FAM!
WWE.com: All right, well…the ceremony will be seen on Friday Night SmackDown. But do you have any news on what the reception will be like?
Ron: [pauses] JAM!
WWE.com: I’m sure it will be packed. What’s on the dinner menu for the guests?
Ron: [pauses] LAMB! [pauses again, then smiles] HAM! [pauses once more] CLAMS!
WWE.com: That sounds quite tasty. Anyway, we also heard that the jewelers tried charging Teddy a lot more for the ring than he should have. Can you shed some light on that?
Ron: [pauses] SCAM!
WWE.com: Sounds like it. Well, Ron, just one more question for you: Is there a mailing address, e-mail or somewhere that our fans can send cards and well-wishes to the happy couple?
Ron: [pauses, then shakes his head no] SPAM!
WWE.com: Oh. OK, that’s understandable. Is there anything else you’d like to say to our great fans?
Ron: [pauses] DAMN!
While Ron Simmons may not be the most verbose man, from the way he talks it sounds like Theodore Long & Kristal’s wedding is going to be off the hook. If you can’t be there to see the nuptials in person on Sept. 21, be sure to tune in at 8/7 CT on The CW Network.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PapaGeorgio View Post
This is really a two part questions, I AM ON TO YOU. One, there is no god, but rather gods. As for the second part assuming there is a loving god out there as stated in your first part. Children get cancer out of love. Cancer is a creation of god, and he loves cancer. Children are a creation of god, and he loves children. Thus children with cancer are people he really love.
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:24 PM   #2
chrisat928
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WWE.com offices?

Other than that, pretty funny.
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:27 PM   #3
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At least they get paid for having to much time on their hands. Online scribes write their own wrestling stuff for fuck all and some of it is terrible. Didn't read that btw.
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:28 PM   #4
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I thought the mention of WWE.com offices was the funniest part.
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:34 PM   #5
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This is getting ooooold.
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Old 09-12-2007, 12:33 AM   #6
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Ron Simmons may have had a stroke.
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Old 09-12-2007, 02:38 AM   #7
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That was so bad I laughed at it. Not because of it.
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Old 09-12-2007, 10:04 AM   #8
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I would love for just one time for Simmons to just break character and say "FUCK THIS SHIT!"
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Old 09-12-2007, 10:44 AM   #9
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I read the first few lines. After reading "Teddy Longs Wedding" and "Ron Simmons" I knew it would be shit.
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