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03-12-2004, 12:14 AM
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#1 |
Posts: 18,357
  
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WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [3-11-2004]
                              
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03-12-2004, 01:01 AM
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#2 |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Vince decided to cancel the cruiserweight matches for the night and decided to put them to good use holding up microphones. Heyman inspects the winner of the Chris Benoit look alike contest. Mysterio takes up walking on stilts to avoid getting fired for being a cruiserweight. If he still gets fired, at least he already has the crazy outfit. Now he can join the circus. Mysterio: "Maybe we're doing it wrong, but I still can't hear the ocean" Akio: "think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts" Benjamin's new MegaMan gimmick was a big hit. Haas explains the wreck he saw on the way to work. "The first car was like vrooooom, then this other car was like eeeerrrcck, and then BAAM!!" The Big Show tries to help his friend swallow his medicine by rubbing his throat. Guy: "I can't breathe!!" Show: "This hurts me more than it hurts you" Doug Basham falls asleep after reading my captions.... gaaaahh! I suck this week. I better stop before it gets worse. |
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03-12-2004, 01:13 AM
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Finally, Always450, HAS COME BACK to making captions (cheap pop)!
Now after a long week of And here we see how John Cena was able to use a free style rapping gimmick instead of The Prototype. Cena turns heel as he measures up the invisible midget for a brutal punch. Moments earlier Jamie points out to Paul that ECW went under before WCW. Moments later Paul ate Jamie’s head. Rey: Come on Tinkerbell! Third star to the right and straight on ‘till morning! Get your own WWE Cruiser-weight chair! (some assembly required) Make sure you parental supervision while assembling the Cruiser Weight chair. Tajiri: Oh! Thank you God! The Cruiser Weights are getting air time! Ref: Tajiri, we’re at a commercial. Tajiri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Even Funaki laughed with Rey botched the pedigree. Eddie: Belty, say something. Belty: …. Eddie: Come on ese…. You’re making me look bad. Belty:…. Eddie: Vato loco! Say something! Belty:…. Ref: I told you the belt doesn’t talk! That’ll be one dollar, Canadian! Announcer: Didn’t Raw do this storyline? Needless to say once the stage fright kicked in, Kurt knew he would never cut it for American Idol. Shelton: Ah, the belt doesn’t talk! Belty: That’s what you think, you two bit jobber! Shelton: WHAT THE HELL!?!??! Hass: Time out! I’m here, in a match that isn’t mine, and Rosey got time off to see Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen? That’s not fair! Ref: Yeah, well, anywho, Big Show’s match is almost over. I gotta get off my break. Even The Big Show used his own matches for bathroom breaks. And the poor jobbers got to act as TP… And at this point we knew The Wonder Twins were TOTALLY wasted! I’m just gonna pass this picture up before I make another homoerotic joke about how The Basham’s didn’t get buried… |
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03-12-2004, 01:15 AM
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#4 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Oh god! It’s true! Rikishi is a black hole Paul: Now in an attempt to try to get a decent tag team scene, each one of you will be partnered off with the person across from you. Holly: It’s times like this I wish I was still with Nascar.. Everyone else: So do we. Brock: I’m King Of The World! Show: I’m not impressed… Brock: Now you know how I feel when I see you wrestle. Why does Kidman NEED to take a leek at this moment? Gunn: How Steve, who gave you directions to the next Raw Arena? Steve: Flair… Steve Austin can only look on and view the biggest accomplishment if his wasted youth… The high score at Pac Man at the local arcade… Austin: Show, watch out! Brock is behind you! Show: No biggie. The WMXX logo has his shirt. He’s not going anywhere. Worst. Vase. Ever Paul: Now Brock, this is the scene where you run! Brock: I know Paul, I know… But I can’t… Paul: Brock, I know it’s your last night on SmackDown, but please, stick to the script. Brock: But I can’t run out of the ring… Paul: Fine! I’ll go!!! HMMMMM!!! FUCKING RHYNO!!!! Brock: I told you so! Hardcore Holly’s newest Side Kick, Alabama Man! After the day is saved Alabama Man drives off to the nearest bar on his ATV. Paul: No Brock! Don’t jump! Don’t do it! Brock: BUT THAT LITTLE GIRL SAID TINKY WINKY IS GAY AND USES THE INTERNET!!! And then Brock got his ass kicked by the little girl. Moral of the story: Tinky Winky is gay, and surfs the internet. I want YOU!!! to get buried by a main eventer! Show: So Brock, this is your last show? Brock: Yeah… My last SmackDown. Show: Well, we all wanted to get out here and tell you something… ya know… as a group… Brock: Oh! You shouldn’t have! Everyone: Brock, YOU’RE A HOMO!!!! |
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03-12-2004, 01:16 AM
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#5 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Cena: "Thank you everybody... WE LOVE YOU MICHIGAN STATE!" Offscreen: "Uh... we're in New Jersey." Announcer: "Wanna get away?" Rhyno's scheme worked to perfection when Cena's hand got stuck to his neck, putting himself in a personal cobra clutch and giving Rhyno the win via submission. Heyman was actually Noble's half-sister's uncle's youngest grandson's cousin's father, so this was nothing awkward for him. With Magnifico the Fairy by Rey Mysterio's side, there was no way he could lose! Rey learned his lesson: NEVER steal Jamie's watch and wear it as your own. Tajiri: "YES! I WON!" Charles Robinson: "What are you doing? You're just having one of those in-match dreams again!" Tajiri: "So I DIDN'T win the Cruiserweight Title?" Charles Robinson: "No. Now go back to cleaning O'Haire's cage." Tajiri:  Akio obviously wasn't completely clear about the concept of a Heimlich Maneuver. Mid-match, Rey tried to grab onto the Giant Sky Wrench and pull himself out of the depushed land of Cruiserweights, but to no avail. OR Rey should get that Noble-Growing-Out-Of-My-Assitis condition looked at. After a while, Eddie's constant bragging about having the world's biggest chocolate belt got kind of annoying. The master behind the hypnocam is revealed. Look into his eyes... you seek... the future... Shelton had taken care of business. Now he waited for the Wrestlemania XX Anvil to finish the job. Haas does his best Chris Webber impression, calling a timeout when there aren't any. Big Show was in a hurry to get to his match, so he just grabbed a snack on the run. Meanwhile, Cheech busied himself doing the hustle. Big Show knew he was supposed to be a relentless and merciless monster, but he wasn't so sure how he felt about chokeslamming a naked guy who was apparently happy to see him... And there is the look of a man who has seen his meal of moose walk away. Rikishi: "You're sure that allowing the WWE Genetic's Lab to splice us together into Siamese twins will allow us another six months as tag champs, right?" Scotty: "Of course! I even got Triple H's personally verbal guarantee!" Rikishi: .... Yeah, Rikishi and Scotty had gotten so stale they were even putting their opponents to sleep. Danny didn't know what was happening. With Rikishi and Scotty trying to re-enact Michaelangelo's "Birth of Man" and Brian Hebner trying to hang ten, it seemed that everyone had forgotten there was an actual match still going on. The ATV is such a nice, selfless guy. Always willing to put other people like Brock Lesnar over. All the wrestlers were understandably shocked when Paul Heyman announced that Triple H had bought the souls of all the SmackDOWN! superstars as well. They weren't too pleased when Stone Cold came to collect either. Austin: "All right, ya maggots. Form a line and ya each got one minute to convince me not to let Hunter bury you!" Palumbo: "Please, Austin..." Gunn: "Yeah, Steve, we're pals..." Morgan: "I'm too young to get buried..." A-Train: "I can help Hunter..." Austin was shocked when his secret gay lover confronted him live on national television. The Civil War angle began when Big Show, the U.S. Champion, was challenged by a renegade confederate. Big Show: "You just punked out the entire SmackDOWN! roster! How'd you do it?" Austin: "Why, Evolution Kool-Aid of course! You can do anything with Evolution Kool-Aid, and it now comes in new Bluebury Blast and Glass Ceiling Grape!" The future NFL'er and the future Pro Deer Hunter embraced in a tender and touching final farewell. Here, Austin shows off his future hunting technique by shining a bright light to freeze the deer in the middle of the path before shooting it with his rifle. Heyman: "Don't go after him! It's not the time!" Lesnar: "But He Hate Me!" Heyman:  Brock faced an interesting predicament when he caught himself on the internet scouting potential NFL teams. OR The truth was revealed. It wasn't because he wanted to try out in the NFL that Brock wouldn't be on WWE programming after Wrestlemania, Sean O'Haire had actually sniped him and stolen his push! Austin: "Shoot this man in the ass!" Offscreen: "Um... it's already happened... and he got shot in the head." Austin: "Gimme another beer then!" JR: "STUNNER PEDIGREE BEER BROKEN IN HALF BBQ SAUCE!!!" So confused by the recent rumors of Goldberg and Lesnar leaving or not, Austin drank himself into a slumbery stupor. OR Austin enraged Lesnar when he cruelly opened up and consumed both Bubbly AND Tasty! |
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03-12-2004, 01:22 AM
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#6 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
 Those are PERFECT captions for those pics! I think the Big Show one is a caption of the month/year candidate!
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03-12-2004, 06:02 AM
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#7 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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The Doctor of Thuganomics was apparently also a doctor of "Augmenting Surgery." However, Cena was so drunk when he did the procedure that he still wasn't sure if he wanted you to "see this." Rhyno: WTF are you doing... Cena: Sorry Rhyno. Standard procedure that we take at least ten seconds of former ECW champions lying on their back between each move. Heyman: What have you done!? Why did you trim your beard and your hair!? Noble: Huh? Heyman: God damnit Raven. SmackDown! needed a guy with a goatee and long hair! Noble: But I'm n... Heyman: WHAT ABOUT HEYMAN? The debut of Rey Rey the Jet Plane was met with skepticism. Rey: Ugh! Do you know how hard it is to sell when your arm is going through an interdemensional portal? Ref: What are you doing dude? Tajiri: And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YEEEEEEE-EYEEEEEEEEEE, RIRR ARRAYS, ROVE ROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, RIRR ARRAYS ROVE ROU-OO-OO-OO-OO! AND I... Ultimo: ? (Doesn't understand Tajiri) Kidman: Wonder what's wrong with Tajiri... Ultimo: (Shrug) Kidman: Must have eaten one of RVD's "I'm coming to SmackDown! and I love you all" brownies... Ultimo: (Nods...) (  ) Funaki was getting frustrated selling for a guy whom he thought was always laughing at his opponents in his matches. Jamie "The Cloak" Noble would never learn not to try the frog splash on someone who knows about his powers. Eddie: So then I says to him... "My name's Kunta Kinte you white fag!" Eddie: And then, I hit him w... Ah shit. Kurt told WWE officials this Teusday before tapings that Wrestlemania would be his last appearance in the WWE, and that he was off to persue a career in the Olympics as a wrestler. He had thanked everyone for teaching him how to punch and kick and do stunners, and that his opponents would be no match for him with his new WWE training. Benjamin: Please tell me they did not go through with that "Latino Warrior" gimmick. Eddie: Cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez! Benjamin: Thank God. That was typical of Zack Morris. Whenever he was losing a match, he had to stop time and brood about it. Ref: (Whispering) Well hurry the fuck up, we're running out of jabronis to feed Big Show and he sure is hungry...! Vince: You should have told him we were feeding him "jobbers!" Big Show is dumb enough to think jabroni is some Italian dish! Guy: Hey Show, wanna play guess who? Show: Sorry... I can't see, I'm blind... May I... Guy: Sure. (Stepping forward) Show: Wow, I can tell you're not Brock Lesnar or Kurt Angle. Hmm... You are... THEWEAKESTLINK! Scotty: Rikishi, after seeing The Rock and Foley on RAW, I came up with an idea... Rikishi: Aw man, you shouldn't have. Scotty: No, no... (Smile) Rikishi, this is your life! Roll the footage! (A giant "M" appears on the Tron.) "I'm lovin' it..." Steven Richards with a Bronco Buster out of nowhere! Basham: Right hand.. red! Ref: Left foot.. blue! Scotty: Right hand.. fat! The random lottery drawing to see who was next to be buried by Triple H was beginning. (Since there will be alot of HHH captions here, if there aren't already {I don't read captions before I do them...} I came up with another one.) Heyman delivered the blow to his roster on SmackDown! that there would be lay-offs, due to Triple H's pay increase, and so formed the welfare line... (damnit, this caption just has to be about Triple H, sorry.) Show: Lesnar, I really think you're a gimp after all the help I gave you for leaving to try for the NFL... Lesnar: Sorry Show... I'm just not happy here. Show: Aw shucks, it's okay. Hey. Think the NFL could use a big guy like me? Lesnar: Of course! (Lesnar: Yeah, they could make footballs out of your skin you fat fuck.) ------This is gonna be an entire set, like the Kunta Kinte one.------ Rikishi: Man, I hate going to the DMV... Shit takes forever and the seats make my butt sweat. Hardcore: Yeah, I hate it too. All these sixteen and eighteen year old punks ahead of the line in front of me who haven't even paid their road dues. Gunn: I don't think so, pal. You're not cutting in line, we've been here for like five hours waiting already. Austin: FIVE HOURS? LISTEN TO ME. I've been to the DMV about 20 times, having to wait NO LESS THAN 9 hours each time. This will NOT take long, they will recognize me here already. I have some pretty big ties here so you better just get the hell out of my way now. Big Show: No, Austin. You are NOT getting in line in front of me. You may have been able to scare that pussy Billy Gunn, but I am 500 pounds of liscence-wanting beast. Austin: You fat sonofabitch! You better move your ass out of the way. Stone Cold DOES have a HAZMAT liscence, and will tow your fat ass and dump you off in the Baltimore Aquarium. Austin: Jeez. Finally got it back. Time to hit the highway and raise some hell! DMV guy: I don't wanna see you back here again Austin. Austin: Yeah yeah. (Two weeks later) Two weeks later, Austin was charged with another DWI. Alright you little fucks, move it! Five hours? Please! I've been here about 21 times now, and... ------End of set------ Lesnar's reaction to Austin asking him if being speared by Goldberg inspired him to join the NFL. Lesnar's reaction to Angle asking Brock if the NFL would feed him the entire locker room and give him a year with the Heisman (sp) Trophy. Lesnar's reaction to 'Taker saying this: Vanahl nathrach, do h'iel d'ien ve... |
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03-12-2004, 06:08 AM
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#8 | |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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03-12-2004, 06:11 AM
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#9 |
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President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,273
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The second "People Who Have Jobbed to A-Train" Convention was an even bigger success than the first. NOTE: This was based off of someone else's caption from a few months ago, don't remember who's it was though. Austin, having not been following the happenings on Smackdown, was shocked to see that Billy and Chuck had turned straight. Last edited by Evil Vito; 03-12-2004 at 02:44 PM. |
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03-12-2004, 07:33 AM
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TPWW's OFFICIAL SNAKE
Posts: 6,968
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Banjamin: Human fly.......Up,Up and AWAY I'll get me coat 
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03-12-2004, 09:45 AM
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Forum Happy Cat
Posts: 7,884
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"WEEEELLL... Big Show's a bitch, he's a big fat bitch, he's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world...." Cena had the match won, until he got over excited and punched himself in the face. "One of you stuck this WWE logo to my ass, and NOBODY leaves until I find out who it was!" Their eyes met across a crowded room. It was love at first sight. However, the WWE logo was so shy of her newfound love interest that she hid behind a ringpost. Jamie Noble discovered that if he tickled Rey's armpit, his leg twitched! It broke Charles Robinson's heart to tell Tajiri that the goal he just scored didn't count, as they were wrestling, not playing soccer. "I'm going to choke you, you son of a bitch! I'm- Hey! I'm on TV!" With Jamie's help, Rey was able to retrieve the soccer ball from the top of the WWE logo. At this point CHarles Robinson just gave up. Having a new boyfriend seemed to make the WWE logo much more attractive to other people. Even the WWE champion was eying her up. THe Kurt Angle RealDoll was a smash hit! Shelton Benjamin was a formidable opponent. Not only was he fast, agile, and strong, but he could also make magic samurai swords emerge from his shoulders at will. Halfway through spelling out "Shelton" to the crowd, Charlie Haas realised that nobody was shouting along with him, and gave up, somewhat depressed. Seeing his friend in trouble in the ring, Shelton summoned the samurai swords and sent them to his aid! In desperation, Big Show's opponent grabbed him by his special area. Not even the loving touch of the WWE logo could make Big Show feel better after he had been fondled. Maybe it was the excitement of the moment, or the cheers of the crowd, but Scotty couldn't help it. He swung Rikishi down for a long, soul-searching kiss - which lasted all of 7 seconds before the weight became too much and he dropped him. The WWE logo was becoming a complete hornball! She slowly crept up Danny Basham's leg with mischief in mind. Halfway through the match, Chavo got bored and changed the gravitational pull on the stadium again. Seconds after the "Free Donuts" sign went up next to the ring, the queus already stretched round the arena. Big Show was jealous. He'd asked to stand on the ATV, but Paul Heyman had said the weight would be too much. The hypnotic eyes of the giant Steve Austin clones worked their evil magic once more. Guys, I've told you already, there are no free donuts! The sign was just a prank! Why are you looking at me like that? Austin was about to launch into a promo when he felt a nuzzling on his shoulder. "Hey there, big boy" said the WWE logo. Austin wanted to wear Brock's Wrestlemania XX hat, but Big Show said NO! "Paul, you've got a booger hanging." Soon after this shot was taken, a large group of wrestlers filed sexual harrassment charges against the WWE because of how touchy-feely the logo was becoming. "My buttocks are my buttocks! No Means no!" sobbed an emotional Stone Cold. Shamed by the rejection, the WWE logo found a dark corner to cry in. Paul desparately tried to persuade a suicidal Lesnar not to jump. With one misplaced hit, the paintball game became ugly. "Once again, sir, you are distinctly and sadly mistaken. As a matter of fact you are more than mistaken. You have this matter in the very reverse. For you see it is not I who is the homo, but your good self!" It wasn't so much that Stone Cold deliberately spilled his beer as that he wanted the skull growing out of his chest to have a drink too. |
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03-12-2004, 09:59 AM
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#12 |
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All Part Of The Plan
Posts: 12,125
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Hey if you guys get time, check out the WM captions thread, [cheap plug] I put up every single pic [/cheap plug] so there's a ton of material there
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03-12-2004, 10:39 AM
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#13 | |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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03-12-2004, 12:40 PM
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#14 |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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Damn that Rhyno! No, no it's okay, you stay down there, i'd finish the match myself. Heyman: whats this? where's YOUR Wrestlemania T-Shirt? Jamie noble: I lost it, okay. Rikisi: Damn Bird! Scotty: ...It's on my hand! 
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03-12-2004, 02:35 PM
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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03-12-2004, 02:52 PM
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#16 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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To the Caption Crew biatches, your favorite VIP member is back for some captions. Enjoy
Brock: Ladies and Gentlemen, I got my drivers license today! John Cena: New Jersey.....How YOU doin?  Brock: I told you Austin, NOT....TO PUNCH....MY ZIT!!!!! Heyman: Wrong t-shirt, jackass!  Heyman: Brock, please....tell me I'm not bald.  Kurts' reaction to his own fake tan
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03-12-2004, 03:10 PM
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#17 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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"Black Hole Sun...won't ya come...wash away the rain...." "GIVE ME MY MONEY! COME ON, I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK IF YOU WONT GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY! I'LL KILL YOU-oh hi, Mom, were just playing a nice game of Cops and Robbers" Rey was confused when he saw Triple H riding in with his own customized blimp. Big Show: Ok, kiddo, smile for the camera, I wont squeeze very hard. *POP* WWE's version of the see-saw. To the right... To the left... You can't blade in the NFL. |
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03-12-2004, 03:13 PM
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#18 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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I'm only gonna do this one caption because I'm lazy.
Cena: Man, I don't know about you, but I prefer Final Fantasy X-2 to this Drakengard crap. |
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03-12-2004, 03:22 PM
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#19 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,110
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No Moses didn't part them, Big show asked for room so he could make his way back to the locker room. Yes foreign sex is weird. |
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03-13-2004, 12:23 AM
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#20 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Paul: Now I challenge anyone to step foot in this very ring if they seriously think they’re better than Kanyon! |
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03-13-2004, 12:28 AM
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#21 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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03-13-2004, 01:56 AM
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#22 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Tired of the Atkins diet, Cena began nibbling on the microphone. The latest victim of Triple H's Hold-Down Aura, Cena was forced to continually hit himself. Now listen here, you little punk! When I signed the name Jamie Knoble, I thought I was getting a Diva. Seeing as how your tits are lacking, if you want to keep your job, I suggest you get to sucking. Rey Mysterio becomes the first victim of the Electric Crucifix 9000 A sympathetic Jamie tries to Help remove the nails from Rey's palm. ...The winners of the "most awkward siamese twins" match... The voice of Eddie's angel tried to convince him to do the right thing, but the title belt put up a good argument... Vince: You are getting very sleepy... Angle: I am getting very sleepy... Vince: I am a competent businessman... Angle: You are a competent Businessman... "WHY DID YOU EAT MY LAST TWINKY?" No matter how hard he squeezed, he couldn't get any cream filling. Spay or Neuter your pet... ...Winner of the GHA championship title... Knowing his push was over, Danny Basham slumped into a eep drunk depression. Not many superstars were happy that Heyman insisted that they all "make with the head" on live TV. Nobody had the heart to tell Brock that he was standing on an ATV and thus, not really taller than Big Show. The Undertaker's new look suprised all in attendance. Steve Austin sighed. From Main Eventing with the Rock to squaring off iwth the "guy from that gay angle..." Steve didn't have the heart to tell him about the spinach in his teeth... ...Or that Big Show had Funaki in his... " ...Is that? I'll be! I wondered where the Hell Sarge got to..." ...Little did he know that a killer "W" lay in wait around the bend... ...Winner of the "World's ugliest growth on his back" award, Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman! Brock may have been a monster, but it was all over when Austin asked him to spell "Anthromorphic." Refusing to wear reading glasses on screen, Austin struggled with the teleprompter cues. Try as he may, Austin was unable to win the Wet-T-Shirt contest... |
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03-13-2004, 02:00 AM
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#23 | |
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The Reckless One
Posts: 1,673
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03-13-2004, 02:08 AM
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#24 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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I'm hurt.
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03-13-2004, 02:15 AM
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#25 | |
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The Reckless One
Posts: 1,673
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Quote:
No offense, man, but I know you can do better than that. I ain't gonna lie, some of your posts can be quite annoying, but yet some of your posts are quite funny. You should give this captions another shot 'cause you and I both no, you can do a lot better. Where's the effort?? BTW, this beer is yummy.
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03-13-2004, 02:16 AM
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#26 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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03-13-2004, 03:07 AM
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#27 |
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Why So Curious?
Posts: 3,408
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Okay, this is going to be my first time trying to do this, so if any of these aren't really that great, then I'm really sorry. I just wanted to try it once.
"They told me to clean up my act because they're scared of a boob hanging out, so I'll---OH NO, NOT NOW, MAE YOUNG!!" The invisible man was about to grab John Cena. Luckily, Cena wasn't about to be fooled and punched his lights out. (thanks to whoever came with the Invisible man joke) "Kiss me, NOW!!" It was after this picture was taken that the blue "DOWN" sign saw enough of the Cruiserweight burying and batted Noble off of Rey and clear into the upper deck. There was more than one way to crack that glass celing. Eddie was looking to make sure Mae Young wasn't exposing any more tonight before beginning his speech. Kurt Angle wanted to show off his new, giant SmackDown logo hat. Unfortuantly, he really didn't have the foggiest how to work it, and it almost squished his head. "Hold on, time out, we're actually getting TV time? This HAS to be a dream." When good hemriods, GO BAD!! This was not a good time to debut Scotty and Rikishi's new gimmick, the Ambiguous Gay Duo. It was one thing for Rikishi to be big, but when he made the ref lose his balance because he shook the ring everytime he moved, that's when it went a tad bit too far. The plan was about to work. Heyman distracts them, and then the giant Triple H fist comes out of nowhere and kills them all. It was pure genious. As Lesner got high on his new Jumbo Little Trikes 5000, Big Show asked him what would he do if no one in the NFL wanted him. Needless to say, that really ruined Brock's moment. The pack was just about to blow the whistle on the Triple H fist plan, but Austin was set for plan B: Make everyone in the line think that they were drunk and seeing double. Only Kidman fell for it. Austin had thought that it was all over. But then the WrestleMania XX sign showed up to even the odds, and that was all they needed. "Didn't I just kick your ass backstage?" "Put your hand any further down, and you're going to feel that hand being cut from your body." Paul was trying to tell Brock that now wasn't the time to start to practice yelling, "BLUE, 24, HUT HUT!!" Lesner could take all of what Austin had to dish out without losing his cool, but when that fan accidently squirted ketchup on him, well, that was the last straw. "I came here today to announce the new "Triple H Can Bury You" program. All you have to do is to make sure that your name's not Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, or Batista, and be able to make Stephanie not want to go down on you, and you will be able to have Triple H bury you, too. Call 555-BURY NOW!!" |
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03-13-2004, 12:19 PM
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#28 |
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President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,273
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Well, I have nothing to do at the moment, so I'm going to try captions for the whole show. Go easy on me, it's my first time doing a whole show. Also, I haven't read the other captions yet, so if I end up copying anyone else's caption, I apologize:
Cena assumes the "Stephanie McMahon Position". As Cena tried to remove the small piece of paper that had somehow been superglued to his throat, Rhyno noticed that his plan was a success, and seconds later he rolled up Cena for the surprise victory. Heyman was such a cruel prankster. He informed Noble that he would be receiving a WWE Title push, and then seconds later Noble wet himself in excitement...right in front of all the boys. Super Rey held up the falling ceiling so that everyone in the arena could vacate. (When in doubt, stick with the classics). Seconds after this picture was taken, Noble completely pulled off Rey Mysterio's arm. Ring Announcer (off screen): Jamie Noble wins..............FATALITY. Tajiri prayed to the HHH God, and seconds later every member of the opposing team experienced the Hold Down Aura and they all ended up flat on their backs. Funaki wanted a refund. The new Akio Chair he bought malfunctioned. Rey tried to turn the move into the Sunset Flip, but he couldn't seem to separate himself from Noble. Rhyno strikes again... Eddie is a true champ. Right in the middle of the promo he posed with the Illegal Immigrant Title for a fan. Angle had arrived with a fake tan for one reason and one reason only: He was trying to appear more Hispanic so he could receive a shot at the Illegal Immigrant Title. Shelton Benjamin makes a jump from heel to super-heel when he announces that he was really a slave from Africa, ready to get revenge on the world by winning the Illegal Immigrant Title. After Tajiri prayed to the HHH God, Haas attempted to make a cross to ward off the evil spirits. Big Show would be damned if he was gonna allow the crane to take him, so he grabbed the lowly jobber and sacrificed him instead. Big Show suddenly came to the realization that he shit his pants. Big Show was pissed. You'd be pissed too if the entire crowd was mocking you for shitting your pants in mid-match. The attempted rip-off of the Billy and Chuck storyline was not met with much optimism. Rikishi was a genius! Who else would've known that playing his own DVD, "Best of Rikishi" would've rendered Basham asleep so that he could get the easy pinfall victory? The damn ref screwed everything up. If he had just moved his hand in between Rikishi and Scotty's, they would've successfully formed a new stable, The Bridge Brigade! The second People Who Have Jobbed to A-Train Convention was a much bigger success than the first. The ATV had successfully passed the WWE Auto Safety Test by crashing into the Big Show and coming out unschaved. Everyone knew that the WWE horror movie was gonna be bad, but "Night of the Zombie Wrestlers" took the cake as worst horror movie of all time. Austin, who obviously hadn't been following the Smackdown storylines, was shocked to see that Billy and Chuck had turned straight. Gunn looked through the mirror of time: Gunn: I'm going to look like THAT in 10 years? Oh God no..... Big Show would be damned if Austin was going to steal his Patriotic Chocolate Belt. Seconds later...HGA had made it's way back into the WWE. Try as he might, Brock couldn't convince the Undertaker to raise the ring to protect him from Austin. Austin took his ATV after it passed the WWE Auto Safety Test. Up next was the Hurri-Mobile... Brock: Screw this Paul, I'm jumping. Heyman: NO BROCK! Don't jump! You're too young! Brock was back from his visit to the hot dog stand. Austin: Hey you, yeah you, watching Smackdown, YOU'RE A HOMO! (Had to go with the classic) As Austin drank what he believed to be beer that he stole from HHH's dressing room, he couldn't help but think, "Why does this beer taste so damn salty?" Last edited by Evil Vito; 03-14-2004 at 02:08 PM. |
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03-13-2004, 01:24 PM
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#29 |
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VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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FCC Theme
Yo, the FCC won't let me be, or let me be John C John Cena contemplates the FCC guidlines and if he would get away with fisting someone. Paul Heyman gets infuriated when Noble dares to suggest that Heyman's breath is in breech of FCC regulations Rey Mysterio openly flaunts the FCC "no mask" law... ...action is swift. Charles Robinson: I'm sorry mate, the FCC are really strict, I have to wear a wig. Tajiri: The humanity! "And this is for pearl Harbor" Funaki: You're Japanese too. The Crusierweight Division was deemed too risque and was quickly re-packaged as the gymnastics division. This move won the doubles tournament. 6.0, 6.0, 6.0, 6.0 The FCC made Eddie make aware to the public that although he lies, cheats and steals, he does help the elderly cross busy roads. Kurt Angle is incensed at the new "no bald people" regulation from the FCC. He breaks from his USA character and starts an equal rights movement. Shelton Benjamin is about to pick up the win for WGTT But Charlie Hass has bad news, unfortunately the team no longer exists. The FCC though have decreed that tag teams can not spilt up on bad terms. A simple "time out" will suffice. The Big Show match is under the watchful eye of the FCC. This camera angle gets banned. So does this one Big Show is infuriated claiming he only looks good from a side on angle. Rikishi: You know that the FCC will never approve of us being together Scotty: Just let me hold onto this moment. The FCC claims that Doug Basham is worked far too hard in his matches and should be allowed a rest every two minutes. Rikishi: Come on Scotty Scotty: I'm trying Ref: Sorry guys he's got to tag me now, FCC law. The whole Smackdown roster are sick of these new FCC regulations and have a protest. Brock Lesnar provokes the situation by vandalising a car, on national TV. In a swerve that nobody was expecting, Austin comes out, he's the new FCC General Manager. Austin confronts the disgruntled Smackdown workers Smackdown Roster: What about the no bald people rule? Austin: I have immunity Smackdown Roster: What?! Show: I'm not too bothered about the FCC but I wish they would stop banning side camera angles of me. Is it too much to ask that... CAMERA ANGLE BANNED CAMERA ANGLE BANNED The decision is made to just edit Big Show out altogther. It leads to continuity errors but the program is more family orientated. Austin returns the vandalised car to it's rightful owner, apparently going past the edited out Big Show More edits, this time Heyman's cock Brock provokes Austin again, this time by deliberately bleeding on National TV. Austin: You're going to pay for that son! Smackdown is coming to a close and Austin has had enough of his new general manager role at the FCC. He quits and then celebrates by copping a facial. [/QUOTE] |
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03-13-2004, 02:12 PM
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#30 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Cena: What do you mean St. Pat's ain't till next week cause everything I got is green, from my gear to when I take a leek Here John shows off his new found ability to melt a human head. The tension was so think, you could cut it with a knife at the first ever Smackdown locker room stairing contest. Rey, also the showman glided to the ring with his new hexigonal air foil Noble would get revenge on Rey for ruining his stairing contest with Heyman by taking Rey arm...(hey Jericho got over by taking Rey's knee) Always the heel, Tajri has now mastered the "up yours" Akido (thinking): Hey, I'm on tv! Nature Documentary (whispering): Now, this is truely a site. Never before have cameras caputed on film the live birth of a new cruiseweight into the world. Eddie was quick that night, he senced the upcome attack by the WWE logo and mananged to keep his title for another day. Unfortunately, Kurt wasn't so quick and froze with fear. Shelton (thinking): First a latino, and now I'm holding the a WWE championship belt...this must be a dream. Charlie: Um...T...it makes the "tah" sound? Then um U is next..V, W, X...um um, um...damnit Ref (thinking): We got big show verus two guy I've never heard of, we all know the end, so why am I here, oooo someone dropped a penny outside the ring Suddenly Bigshow knew something was wrong. Show: Damn you, that was my 1934 single press wheat penny from the Denver ment. I want it back! Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggg! Scotty: God Rikishi, did you just fart...awww, what didn't you eat? Rikishi: heh heh heh Doug Basham would never be able to live this down, being molested by the WWE logo was just to much So naturally Danny Basham would have to take out Scotty, one half of, that's right, Too Much A gaint Paul Heyman knew there was no hope now and broke the news to the forloren Smackdown super stars that the Titians just over took Mt. Olympus and were on a rampage to destroy the earth. Even Brock though all was lost when he mistook Bigshow as one of the Titans. But in this time of need, gaint Stone Cold came to stop the Titian attacking the arena... Take charge of his troops... Rally the WWE logo... Confront the Bigshow... Decide Bigshow isn't a Titian... Talk sence into a histarical Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar... and get on his ATV to rejoin the fray outside to save the world from the evil grasp of Titians. Paul: Brock, going out and fighting the Titians would only mean your death! Brock: I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LIVE IN A WORLD CONTROLED BY TITIANS! Brock: It is over, the Titians forces have been crushed, there lines are broken, and troops are routed. We lost a few brave men, but regain our freedom. Austin: Remeber, only you can proctect the world against the Titians. Only you can be prepared. With that, Austin celebrates with a well earned can of mead, and spilling some to the ground for his fallen soilders and friends. |
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Linear Mode
