Filling the shoes of Lesnar

[CYCLOPTERSAURUS]

Inspired by the departure by Lesnar, I present TORBOTCH, FOOTBALL-MAN. This would be a college football player that hadn’t been accepted by any NFL team. He would be immediately signed by WWE, and put on television with no training as a wrestler. He would be managed by his “coach”, which would be Paul Bearer. His debut match would be against Ultimo Dragon, and he would completely no sell everything and continuously try to “tackle” him. He’d just make some sloppy attempt to grab his ankles from behind and drag him down – but of course this would not end the match, so he would just get up and wait for Ultimo to do the same, so they could repeat the process, all of which would look very un-natural and ridiculous, especially because neither wrestler would have any idea of what they were supposed to do. After each “tackle”, Bearer would yell out “TOUCHDOWN”. Torbotch would just waddle around the ring wearing full football gear, saying “hut hut hut hut hut” over and over again, to everybody’s dismay. Eventually, the fans’ shock will wear off, and they would start booing uncontrollably, at which point Bearer would “pass” a football to Torbotch,– and to my knowledge, Bearer has no professional training, so this “pass” would quite possibly miss, and Torbotch would have to scramble to pick it up. At this point, Torbotch would leave the ring, make a flying leap over the announcers table, and hit the ring-bell with the football – which of course would end the match, with Torbotch declared victorious.

I am willing to elaborate if this is not clear.