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Old 02-17-2009, 09:45 AM   #1
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RAW Captions for 02/16/09
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Old 02-17-2009, 09:45 AM   #2
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Old 02-17-2009, 09:54 AM   #3
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And God said "Let there be Edge!", and there was.


The first ever "Red Light, Green Light" match was, well, frankly, it sucked.


Santino: Who's that jump-... Wait a minute... Didn't we do this caption last week?
Rosa: R-E-Y!
Beth: Mysterio.


Narrator: The herd of lesbians kidnapped Santino right then and there, and he has not been seen since. If you have any information, please contact your local authorities or email us at UnsolvedMysteries@unsolved.com.


Triple H:
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:11 AM   #4
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Where will you be when your hemroids kick in?
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:12 AM   #5
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Ted: Um guys, I think we went to far.
Cody: Yeah, definately to far, we should probably run.
Randy: Yeah...
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:13 AM   #6
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Punk looked on in awe as Shad attempted to stick his head up the ass of JTG.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:32 AM   #7
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Shane McMahon enjoys himself while joining Randy in shitting in a fan's handbag.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:37 AM   #8
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Vince (Backstage): ....What is he doing?
Shane: I'm immune to the drug tests!
*Shane shoots up*
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:38 AM   #9
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Linda: I could do that.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:45 AM   #10
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Trips wasn't pissed about the RKO, he was pissed that Orton snuck a kiss on Steph on the way down.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:46 AM   #11
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The normal progression of a Rey Mysterio match.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:47 AM   #12
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That's awesome.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:19 PM   #13
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Edge offers his belt to the heavens, in hopes that Cena doesn't go after it.



Edge: Who in the hell is R W?

Vickie: *to herself* Isn't that the Ewrestler guy based off of Trevor Murdoch, only more evil? He better not mess with him or he'll get knocked out... or clocked out.

(sorry, personal thing)



Kid: Are you my daddy?



Cena: Poopy Poopy Gay Joke, Poopy Poopy....

Vickie:

Edge: Something about that shirt really pisses me off...



Verne Gagne: (off-screen) Where did you learn to wrestle, boy? Not in my territory, that's for sure. Up here, Wrestling comes first! After all, that's what it says on the Marquee: Wrestling.

John: It also says entertainment.

Verne Gagne: Don't make me rip that stupid t-shirt off of you and shove it up your ass.



William: You have to have your arm like THIS to do the NWO finger point...



Their victory was ruined when Cody had to barf.



Chris: And I.... had the time of my liiiiiife, no I never felt like this before. Yes I swear, it's the truth... and I owe it all you....



Roddy: Oh I... had the time of my liiiiiiife, and I owe it all to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!



Chris botches the Springboard Elbow on Stevie Richards... BADLY.



Referee: I wish I knew how to quit you...



Beth offers Candice as a sacrifice to the sexual appetite of Vastardikai



Santino: Foursome, SCORE!



JBL: I'm gonna talk shit about you, and I'm gonna play pocket pool while I do it.



Shane: Hey Stephy, watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat!

Stephanie: (Offscreen) Again?

Shane: Nothing up my sleeve...



It's hard to carry a hairy ape when you're driving an invisible gokart with Monster Truck wheels.



Randy: We're sooooo fucked up right now!

Shane:



Randy: I'm sitting down with a chair...

Shane: Something's not quite right here...



Randy's back to his botching ways, this time botching a High Knee.



Bald Paramedic: Who told Stephanie she could act?

Ginger Paramedic: No clue man...

A few days later, from WWE.com

The WWE has come to terms with the release of the Bald and Ginger Paramedic. We wish them well in all future endeavors.



Randy: (to himself) How in the fuck does Hunter put up with all this nagging?



And the internet suddenly loves Randy even more...



Hunter: You're SO jobbing to the Hot Dog Vendor clean next week.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:33 PM   #14
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I gotta ask Jericho what he does to get rid of this constipation.
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:30 PM   #15
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Vickie: My father is prepared to die. You killed Intago Montoya. Prepare to eviscerate!
Edge: Shes worse than Lita...



Dibiase: Haha! Ur dead!
Orton: Yes! Yes! Ur dead!
Rhodes: Moo!



A homeless guy asks the kid for money.
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:56 PM   #16
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parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
RAW


Hey Edge, wasn't it just a couple months ago you promised us we'd never have to see you on Raw again? Or isn't that "canon" anymore?


Edge: OK, Vickie, untie my hands now.


Vickie: And this is the finger I stick up Edge's ass when we're having sex. He loves it!


Everybody point to a douche.


Edge: And guess what? Santa Claus is a fraud, too!


Cena: Just like Michael Jackson, you can't be more than this tall to ride this ride.


New Gimmick: John Cena - Crossing Guard


Damn you, Edge, for farting and leaving.


Hey Cena, Hawaii called. They want their "Hang Loose" sign back.


Punk was impressed by how far Shad could shove his head up JTG's ass.


JTG held a slight lead in the "Running up an Invisible Wall" contest.


Jericho: You see, folks, the reason I'm better than all of you is that I own a thesaurus and a high school diploma.
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Old 02-17-2009, 05:33 PM   #17
Lock Jaw
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Again, not reading any before I do this.


Worf: Target Locked, Sir.
Picard: Fire Photon Torpedos!


Vickie: Not only am I better than Lita... I am also more gooder!
Edge:


Edge: Hey kid! Would you like some candy? Meet me backstage.


John Cena's promo slowly but surely has its desired effect, and makes Vickie slowly asphyxiate herself.


RHINOOOOO!!!


Cryme Tyme debuts their new finisher, The Deep N' Delicious.


Chairface Chippendale's WWE debut wasn't going so well.


NEED MORE GAMMA RAYS
Last edited by Lock Jaw; 02-17-2009 at 05:39 PM.
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:16 PM   #18
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Randy sure Superman'd THAT ho.
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:01 PM   #19
Lock Jaw
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Shane learns the hard way to STAY CLEAR OF THE THRILLER DANCE.
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:45 PM   #20
therocksays
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i have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass..... and i ran out of bubble gum, NOW TRY ON THE GLASSES
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Old 02-18-2009, 01:48 AM   #21
Cuzziebro
'11&'15 RWC CHAMPIONS
 
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Vickie: I did swallow...but just once.


HBK: Guess where these were last night?
JBL: Ewwwww!
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Old 02-18-2009, 06:33 AM   #22
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Edge: ZOMG! C2k with a buzzcut.
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Old 02-18-2009, 06:35 AM   #23
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Punk: Nigga stole my underwear.
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Old 02-18-2009, 06:39 AM   #24
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Cody: Stop touching my nipples you bastard!
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