WWE RAW Captions [12-15-2003]

**Corkscrewed** · 12-16-2003, 07:48 PM

The new WWE Department Store mannequins were a resounding success.

OR

The Ric Flair/Batista feud began innocently enough when Dave smacked Ric in the head with his belt.

Trish: "You cheated on me with WHO??"
Chris: "It's okay. I had Subway for lunch."

Christian was as high as a kite flying on RVD's Magic Hangglider until he got tangled up in the Twizzler lines.

Bischoff and Jericho took turns dueling whiskey shots with the new WWE Microphone Shot Glasses.

Hoping to resolve the conflict between him and Bischoff, Foley offered Eric the world's largest peppermint candy stick on his arm.

Based on the events of a few RAWs ago and during Armageddon, Mick was really looking forward to another Stacy Kielber segment.

OR

Mick: "Hmmm... I could save more money if I bought peanuts and cashews separately and mixed them on my own!" (a Twizzler to whoever gets the reference, though I might have messed it up a bit)

It was apparent from his face that Rodney Mack was disappointed to be back.

OR

They don't make the Maven Wheelbarrows like they used to.

Following Kane's resignation, Coach was appointed as Goldberg's new teacher in the Tutor a Wrestler program, but as you can see here, he found out the hard way what happens when you rap Bill's knuckles with a ruler.

JR: "Baw gawd, he's gonna eat the flag!"
King: "What the hell are you talking about?"

OR

Goldberg didn't take too kindly to that fan's sign, considering the fact that he'd been cut from that "fake" sport.

OR

There's nothing more patriotic than an unintelligible caveman garbling and growling the National Anthem.

Even though it was a day later Batista was still after that last slice of pizza.

WWE Gay Kama Sutra #295: The Legend Pleasurer
(got my gay joke for the week out of the way!)

RVD countered the tiger bomb with a powerful Pot Fart, knocking Batista out with a huge gust of weed smoke.

HBK: "Dude! Your nipples are on fire!"
RVD: "Dude! Like, it doesn't even hurt either!"
HBK: "Dude! Like weird, man.
RVD: "Yeah. Cool."
HBK: "Wanna blaze before the match again next week."
RVD: "Sure thing."

Rico took the game of touch football a little too intimately.

Realizing he was being reincarnated as the Ultimate Warrior, a distraught Rico could only jump into the arms of a the nearest hoss. John Heidenrich did all that he could to console the poor guy.

"NOOGIE!!!"

Chris: "I'm sorry I lied to you, Trish. I actually had Togo's, not Subway."

Chris knew the only way to defeat a senseless, maniacal psychopath like Kane was to remove all semblance of his manhood. I mean, Shane had turned Kane into a pussy and that had worked, right?

Kane always did have trouble tying that last shoelace.

Now was not the best time for Kane to be doing his best mummy impression.

Mick congratulated Bubba Ray, who had returned, bruised and broken, from his quest to find non-bumblebee shorts.

The Ortonbot 2000 also comes with choice of custom programmable looks, including (as shown here) the Zoolander pose.

Mick was frustrated. Why did the Ortonbot 2000 always have to glitch and freeze for five minute when he was around?

Bischoff: "Mick, the warrantee clearly says that we are not liable for any wasted time caused by faultiness in the Ortonbot! I'm sorry, but I can't help you!"

Ortonbot 2000: "Why. Why. Why. Why do. You. Not love. Me?"
Mick: "Dammit..."

Eventually, Mick had enough and abandoned his Ortonbot. Maybe someone else would salvage the thing.

12-16-2003, 07:48 PM	#1
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	WWE RAW Captions [12-15-2003] The new WWE Department Store mannequins were a resounding success. OR The Ric Flair/Batista feud began innocently enough when Dave smacked Ric in the head with his belt. Trish: "You cheated on me with WHO??" Chris: "It's okay. I had Subway for lunch." Christian was as high as a kite flying on RVD's Magic Hangglider until he got tangled up in the Twizzler lines. Bischoff and Jericho took turns dueling whiskey shots with the new WWE Microphone Shot Glasses. Hoping to resolve the conflict between him and Bischoff, Foley offered Eric the world's largest peppermint candy stick on his arm. Based on the events of a few RAWs ago and during Armageddon, Mick was really looking forward to another Stacy Kielber segment. OR Mick: "Hmmm... I could save more money if I bought peanuts and cashews separately and mixed them on my own!" (a Twizzler to whoever gets the reference, though I might have messed it up a bit) It was apparent from his face that Rodney Mack was disappointed to be back. OR They don't make the Maven Wheelbarrows like they used to. Following Kane's resignation, Coach was appointed as Goldberg's new teacher in the Tutor a Wrestler program, but as you can see here, he found out the hard way what happens when you rap Bill's knuckles with a ruler. JR: "Baw gawd, he's gonna eat the flag!" King: "What the hell are you talking about?" OR Goldberg didn't take too kindly to that fan's sign, considering the fact that he'd been cut from that "fake" sport. OR There's nothing more patriotic than an unintelligible caveman garbling and growling the National Anthem. Even though it was a day later Batista was still after that last slice of pizza. WWE Gay Kama Sutra #295: The Legend Pleasurer (got my gay joke for the week out of the way!) RVD countered the tiger bomb with a powerful Pot Fart, knocking Batista out with a huge gust of weed smoke. HBK: "Dude! Your nipples are on fire!" RVD: "Dude! Like, it doesn't even hurt either!" HBK: "Dude! Like weird, man. RVD: "Yeah. Cool." HBK: "Wanna blaze before the match again next week." RVD: "Sure thing." Rico took the game of touch football a little too intimately. Realizing he was being reincarnated as the Ultimate Warrior, a distraught Rico could only jump into the arms of a the nearest hoss. John Heidenrich did all that he could to console the poor guy. "NOOGIE!!!" Chris: "I'm sorry I lied to you, Trish. I actually had Togo's, not Subway." Chris knew the only way to defeat a senseless, maniacal psychopath like Kane was to remove all semblance of his manhood. I mean, Shane had turned Kane into a pussy and that had worked, right? Kane always did have trouble tying that last shoelace. Now was not the best time for Kane to be doing his best mummy impression. Mick congratulated Bubba Ray, who had returned, bruised and broken, from his quest to find non-bumblebee shorts. The Ortonbot 2000 also comes with choice of custom programmable looks, including (as shown here) the Zoolander pose. Mick was frustrated. Why did the Ortonbot 2000 always have to glitch and freeze for five minute when he was around? Bischoff: "Mick, the warrantee clearly says that we are not liable for any wasted time caused by faultiness in the Ortonbot! I'm sorry, but I can't help you!" Ortonbot 2000: "Why. Why. Why. Why do. You. Not love. Me?" Mick: "Dammit..." Eventually, Mick had enough and abandoned his Ortonbot. Maybe someone else would salvage the thing.