Kurt Angle can beat anyone in MMA

[Xero]

Kurt Angle almost killed Efren Ramirez with an Angle Slam. Luckily, he realized it wasn't M-A-G before impact.

[KingofOldSchool]

Lesbians exist because Kurt Angle turned them down.

[M-A-G]

Chuck Norris would get a tattoo if the needle wouldn't break.

[Funky Fly]

M-A-G, if you don't stop ruining this thread, I will have to ban you out of fear that Kurt Angle will come and kill us all.

[TerranRich]

There are no pedophiles, only guys that M-A-G has persuaded to follow him.

[TerranRich]

I must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Funky Fly again. Kurt Angle can do it 15 times in a row without cheating.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle took the Pepsi Challenge and won.

[Funky Fly]

When Funky Fly bans you, you are unable to post at TPWW.net. When Kurt Angle bans you, you and everyone you've ever met get blinked out of existence.

[Xero]

ROFL Funky...

[KingofOldSchool]

Mexicans sneak into the U.S. just to be on the same soil as Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

Canadians are simply Americans that ran away from Kurt Angle.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle killed Abe Lincoln because the theater is for pussies.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle once blew his load into a sock. That sock became Mother Theresa.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Neil Armstrong was the first man to land on the moon because he pissed off Kurt Angle.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle golfed Pebble Beach and shot an 18.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle created the Universe on an Etch A Sketch.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle knows which one's Milli and which one's Vanilli.

[M-A-G]

There are no pedophiles, only guys that M-A-G has persuaded to follow him.

Oh, geez, God forbid I don't play along.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle keeps his cock ring around Saturn.

[Innovator]

There was one time that Kurt Angle suplexed Kenta Kobashi at the same time Kobashi gave Angle a LARIAT, the result was the 80's

[Flair Wooo]

I'm not a Kurt Angle fan. If I was to do it for Kurt Angle, it'd be to make fun of him.

Fag.

[Arnold HamNegger]

The "Immaculate Conception" was really a 3 way, but Angle did Mary in the ass.

[RGWhat316]

This thread is just too much. :rofl:
Hell, Ill try one.

Kurt Angle is the reason why Stewie's quest for world domination ended. He is doomed to be one year old for the rest of his life.

[Fox]

It's incredible to me that six months ago, to just about everyone on this site, Kurt Angle was a fucking GOD in pro wrestling.

Now that he's in TNA, suddenly he's a walking punchline (7 pages worth).

[The One]

Six months ago he was someone who was incredible in the ring and from most accounts a stand up guy outside the ring. Now he is an incredible in ring performer and a complete and utter tool outside the ring. He's all pissy that McMahon fired him for his own good. Hart was awesome too, and then he let his personal problems with other people drag him down. Holding long grudges against McMahon just makes you seem petty and like that little bitch who got dumped and never is able to get over it...

[Funky Fly]

The Ultimate Warrior was once an ordinary, sane man. However, after looking into Kurt Angle's eyes during a staring contest and seeing many unspeakably horrorific images, he went batshit crazy.

[The One]

I want to hear Hart, Warrior, and Angle have a three way debate over who is the best wrestler ever...all arguing themselves...

[RGWhat316]

Six months ago he was someone who was incredible in the ring and from most accounts a stand up guy outside the ring. Now he is an incredible in ring performer and a complete and utter tool outside the ring. He's all pissy that McMahon fired him for his own good. Hart was awesome too, and then he let his personal problems with other people drag him down. Holding long grudges against McMahon just makes you seem petty and like that little bitch who got dumped and never is able to get over it...
I agree completely. Six months ago, Angle was my favorite wrestler. But now he has turned into everyone that has been let go/left WWE, just bitches and complains all the time. The Kurt Angle I know that would have been fired from WWE, likely would have thanked them for the previous 7 years, and for making him a big star. But that guy no longer exists. He just seems bitter that he was released, and has just gone to the nuthouse.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle puts the 'bang' in Bangladesh, the 'booty' in Djibouti, and his foot up your ass if you piss him off.

[Corkscrewed]

Triple A once wanted to put "______ has as much rep as Kurt Angle" but wisely reconsidered.

[Corkscrewed]

The dinosaurs didn't go extinct. They simply saw Kurt Angle coming and all got into a space ship bound for Venus.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle once cured Eugene of his "specialness" by hugging him. However, a now-not-retarded Eugene was so happy that he ran straight into a pole, knocking himself out and reverting him back to this original state. Seeing this, Kurt laughed, and his laughter impregnated Stephanie McMahon, who gave birth to Aurora Rose nine months later. Upon coming out of the womb, Aurora Rose countered the doctor's attempted ass slap and made him tap out.

[owenbrown]

The first heavier-than-air vehicle to break the sound barrier was actually a paper airplane made and thrown by Kurt Angle.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle was originally supposed to kill Dumbledore. JK Rollings had to re-write it when she realized Kurt Angle "accidentally" killed Harry Potter in the process.

[TerranRich]

All the technology seen on Star Trek was in fact invented by Kurt Angle in the 70's. He rightly refused to let anyone develop this technology, stating that only he should be allowed to travel faster than light.

[TerranRich]

A handicapped parking sign is really a warning that the spot belongs to Kurt Angle and that you will become handicapped if you park there.

[KingofOldSchool]

David defeated Goliath, not because of a rock, but because of Kurt Angle throwing David right between Goliath's eyes.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle can make a woman orgasm just by winking at her and saying "Booya"

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle's's sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

[TerranRich]

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Kurt Angle did, and he ate the fucking jar, too.

[TerranRich]

Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp? Kurt Angle did, and he'll do it again if you're not careful.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle invented Google after he lost his car keys. He figured he might as well search for everything else in the world, too, since he owns it.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle can beat the Minus world in Super Mario Brothers.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle killed 50 Cent and still had change to spare.

[Arnold HamNegger]

In 1985, Kurt Angle had an assistant by the name Doctor Emmett Brown. To test his assistant's loyalty, he ordered him to retrieve a sports almanac from the year 2010. When insisting this was impossible, Angle gave Doc 3,000 continues German Suplexes into the base of a toilet, knocking him unconcious and giving him the vision of "The Flux Capacitor."

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle recieved one third of the total votes in a recent episode of "So you think you can dance". He did not appear on the show.

[Arnold HamNegger]

As an infant, Kurt Angle's dirty diaper won The Pulitzer Prize...with a broken freakin' strap!

[owenbrown]

A man once spent three days climbing a mountain only to discover that it was Kurt Angle's penis.

[Arnold HamNegger]

In the year 2008, Kurt Angle will coach and quarterback the Detroit Lions to a Super Bowl victory. During the post game celebration, Angle will reveal that he wore shoe polish on his face and was actually Jim Brown, Walter Payton and Barry Sanders.

[TerranRich]

Some of these are absolutely brilliant :rofl:

[Arnold HamNegger]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Sometimes real life is better than fiction. The hits just keep coming!!




Kurt Angle Helps out the Homeless

By Jesse Suchanek

Kurt Angle participated in a charity event sponsored by the Steve McAllen Radio Show in Orlando, Florida over the weekend. The event was held to help some local homeless families around Orlando. Kurt participated in "wrestling matches" with a few fans and signed some autogrpahs. Kurt said the event raised roughly 70 billion dollars, mostly through him just being there.

Kurt also mentioned how Vince was so scared of running his show against TNA this Monday that he had to go to USA and personally ask for the dog show to be put in Raw's place.

`Torch

[Corkscrewed]

Vince McMahon moved SmackDOWN to Fridays a year in advance because he knew he'd face direct competition with Kurt Angle on TNA sometime down the line.

:shifty:

[Xero]

John Cena really is black, before his debut Kurt Angle slapped the color off him.

[Blitz]

Hurricane Katrina was a cover up. The destruction of New Orleans was actually caused by Kurt Angle exhaling a particularly deep breath.

[Xero]

The levees in New Orleans didn't break, Kurt Angle Angle Slammed homelessness into it.

[owenbrown]

Jack and Jill ran up the hill, Kurt Angle Angle Slammed Jack down and made sweet barbaric love to Jill, then they both went home crying.

[Inadequacy]

Kurt Angle did raise 70 billion dollars for the homeless. He made it by cutting corners on the "safety" of his merchandise, Kurt doesn't believe in safety.

And just from me to you, if you own a Kurt Angle t-shirt and don't want to die in a fiery explosion...well, all I can say is March twelfth 2007. Trust me, get out of the house.

[Kane Knight]

Kurt doesn't use birth control. The overwhelming force of his sperm not only shatters eggs, but often ruptures uteruses.

[Kane Knight]

"King Kurt" Was a reference to the time he fought Jesus in a last man standing (on water) match for the "King of Kings" title. He has since worked out a licensing deal with Jesus, but frequently refers to his "glass jaw."

[Inadequacy]

When Charlton Heston spoke out against gun control in 2000, he double checked for Kurt Angle when he reached the "from my cold dead hands" part of his speech. For he knew, oh HE knew...

BONUS!: Guns don't kill people, Kurt Angle kills people and makes their pets watch.

[Inadequacy]

Some people smoke crack, Kurt Angle cracks smoke.

[Funky Fly]

The only way to hurt Kurt Angle is shoot him with another Kurt Angle, fired out of a cannon.

[Inadequacy]

Kurt Angle didn't "go crazy" he actually "transcended sanity"

[owenbrown]

One must promptly recognize Kurt Angle... always. One time, my buddy said, "Is that Kurt A-", and his head exploded.

[Funky Fly]

Verne Troyer (AKA Mini Me) was once an up and coming college basketball star. One day, during a one on one pick up game with Kurt Angle, Verne dunked on Angle and proceeded to trash talk. Needless to say, Kurt Angle Slammed Verne directly onto his head, shrinking him from 6'10 to 3'5.

The moral: Despite what Kid Rock says, it's bragging even if you can back it up. And if Kurt Angle catches you doing it, he will drill you into the pavement head first.

[Inadequacy]

Not only did Kurt have sex with Trish Stratus, he also boned the cast's of Celebrity Fit Club and Dragonball Z

[The One]

Kurt Angle understood all of the ending of the second Matrix after only one viewing.

[Inadequacy]

Kurt Angle could destroy all of humanity. Sadly the effort would kill him, allowing the planet to be taken over by damn dirty apes. And if there's anything Kurt hates more than homelessness(icity), it's those damn dirty apes.

[Inadequacy]

Kurt Angle understood all of the ending of the second Matrix just by reading the back of the DVD.

[The One]

Kurt Angle doesn't takes showers, he bathes in his own glory.

[Mr. JL]

LO f'n L at this entire thread

[owenbrown]

Bears teach their cubs that if they ever see Kurt Angle in the woods to stop, fall on the ground, and play dead.

[The One]

Kurt Angle can bullseye wamp rats in his T-16.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle can bullseye hot chicks from several miles away with his Penis 5000.

[Corkscrewed]

The reason gay men exist is because they once met Kurt Angle in person.

[Inadequacy]

Kurt Angle once used a cheat code in reality. The results were awesome, but caused the loss of all saved data. Kurt does it again every new game to prevent the presidential election of Barack Obama, hoping that maybe this time, Jesse Jackson will become the first black president.

[The One]

Kurt Angle once made a woman orgasim for over 40 days straight.

[The One]

...WITH A BROKEN FREAKIN PENIS!

[Corkscrewed]

Andre the Giant's legendary drinking skills were acquired from a drop of special Kurt Angle elixir, a mixture that would kill any normal man, but fortunately for Andre, he was already a little big.

[Corkscrewed]

Had Kurt Angle headbutted that Italian soccer player, the entire nation of Italy would have spontaneously combusted.

[Corkscrewed]

That one time Kurt Angle broke Hardcore Holly's arm with a moonsault, not only did Kurt break Holly's arm, he also shattered his pelvis, made him impotent, and lodged Bob's femur deep up his anus.

[The One]

Kurt Angle has never been found when playing Hide & Seek.

[Corkscrewed]

Ostriches and emus used to be able to fly, but Kurt Angle told them nothing that big was going over him, and they'd better remember that, if they knew what was good for them.

[Inadequacy]

Don't worry, when global warming gets out of control Kurt will just put it in the ankle lock, make it tap out and break it's freakin' ankle, becoming the new NWA World Heavyweight champion.

[The One]

You're not real good at this Inadequacy...

[Fox]

Kurt Angle killed Superman AND Doomsday.

[Inadequacy]

Hence the name, duh!

[The One]

Kurt Angle always remembers the exact spot he parked his car.

[TerranRich]

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's nobody there to hear it, it is assumed that Kurt Angle accidentally cut it down by leaning on it.




Kurt Angle can indeed be in two places at once, and he does so everytime he's bored.

[TerranRich]

Pi was invented when scientists tried desperately to appease Kurt Angle's request. Little did they know he was really just hungry. None of those scientists were heard from since.

[TerranRich]

The Guinness Book of World Records 2008 is reported to simply be a piece of paper with "Kurt Angle" written on it.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle does not own a washing machine or a dryer; he simply glares at his clothes with Intensity and the dirt falls off out of sheer terror.

[RGWhat316]

LOL, this reminds me too much of when they used to have Matt Hardy facts when he would always enter.

[Blitz]

LOL, this reminds me too much of when they used to have Matt Hardy facts when he would always enter.
I miss those so bad. :(

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle gave Mickie James to Ken Doane as a hand-me-down birthday present one year because Kurt had gotten bored with her.

[Corkscrewed]

Barry Bonds doesn't use steroids. He merely drinks Kurt Angle Milk.

[Corkscrewed]

Babe Ruth once saw Kurt Angle sitting in the outfield stands watching the Yankee game. The Sultan of Swat immediately paid homage to Kurt by pointing him out with his bat, an action which pleased Kurt so much he made the next pitch hang over the middle of the plate so that Ruth could smack the ball straight toward him.

Witnesses saw it differently, of course, and it marked the defining moment of Babe Ruth's career.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle can dunk a ball from midcourt without even leaving the ground.






...all with a broken frickin' neck.

[Corkscrewed]

Nate Robinson gained his hops early in life, when he was often startled by Kurt Angle sneaking up on him from behind.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angles knows exactly what the Great Khali is saying.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle screwed Bret. He had every damn right to, and no one questions him or else.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle eats more hot dogs in a day than Takeru Kobayashi eats in a year. However, he stays out of contests because he respects the Japanese greatly.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle is responsible for 98% of all Wikipedia articles in existence. The other 2% are blatantly not credible and obviously not the result of his genius.

[Corkscrewed]

In geometry, the Kurt angle is known as the most perfect angle in the universe.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle never loses a game of Clue despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his wrestling moves to do it

[Xero]

There were actually two Ronald McDonalds'. The first one was beaten to a bloody pulp after giving Kurt Angle Diet Coke instead of Regular Coke. He can still be seen in McDonalds' ads as Grimace.

[owenbrown]

James Bond is 007 because Kurt Angle killed the first five and we all know what happened to six

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle once broke a mirror on a black cat under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. That was the day he won the lottery.

[eazey]

Oneday Kurt Angle ate too much cereal and vomited................. He created the Milky Way

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle Angle Slammed the blackness out of Michael Jackson. The obsession with young boys came later, as a side effect.

[Disturbed316]

Kurt Angle actually won a Bronze at the Olympic games, but due to his godly powers he shouted at the medal until it changed.

[eazey]

Just after the worst performance of His career Kurt Angle was being interviewed and was being given a hard time by grisham .


Grisham: Kurt this may hands down be your worst match ever !

Kurt: At least Its not X-Pac

Grisham: good point

[Arnold HamNegger]

When Kurt Angle wishes on a star and it doesn't come true...DAMN TRUE...he lasso's the star, smashes it into the streets of Hollwyood and carves in the names of all the celebrities he's killed.

[owenbrown]

Donald Trump once fired Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle responded by saying, "While I disagree with your firing of me, I will defend to the death your right to do it." Kurt Angle then German Suplexed Donald Trump through a wall.

[Arnold HamNegger]

At the "Express Aisle" Kurt Angle can bring all the FREAKIN' items he wants!

[Arnold HamNegger]

At 12:01 am today, Kurt Angle had already received 70 Billion Valentines.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle once won the gold, silver, and bronze in the Women's Bobsled event. No one questioned how or why.

[Arnold HamNegger]

In 1977, Kurt Angle stumbled upon a 12 year old boy crying in the streets of Pasadena, California. The boy told Kurt he was upset because his older brother kept playing his drum set while he was out delivering newspapers and had become better than him. Kurt then patted the boy on his head, wiped away his tears and peed on his hands. That boy was Edward Lodewijk Van Halen.

[TerranRich]

The Star Wars trilogies were based on Kurt Angle's childhood and teen years.

[Rob]

In geometry, the Kurt angle is known as the most perfect angle in the universe.

I liked this one.

[Londoner]

Unlike Donald Trump, Angle doesn't give fans cash to give them value for money, Angle would give himself.

[Londoner]

Kurt Angle doesn't fear fear, fear fears Kurt Angle.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin and Whitney Houston were all mutes until Kurt Angle shish-ka-bobbed their vocal chords with his dick.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall because Kurt Angle wanted an omlette.

[Corkscrewed]

FDR originally said "We have nothing to fear, but Kurt Angle himself." Angle later let him change the speech so as not to make Angle sound too egomaniacal.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle is such a humanitarian that he dresses his dick like Abe Lincoln and lets women "free the slaves."

[Fox]

Kurt Angle taught UFC Champion Chuck Liddell everything he knows. He then erased his memories of their training lessons so that Liddell wouldn't credit Angle directly for his success. Kurt Angle knew that if the fans knew Liddell was trained by him, then Liddell's successes would only be attibuted to Angle's already overflowing pool of greatness.


Kurt Angle stopped the fifth hijacked jet on 9/11. It was headed for LA, but Angle German Suplexed it into the ocean.

You may wonder, with such power, why did Kurt allow Katrina to happen? Kurt didn't "allow" Katrina to happen. He farted, and MADE Katrina happen.

[Flair Wooo]

Kurt angle would destroy anyone bar me.

[Fox]

....what, bitch?

There's 10 pages of Angle-gasming, and you think you can just show and be all "oh yeah, blah blah blah, I can kick Angle's ass."

Read the thread again. Kurt's greatness > You.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle ate 12 cans of Alphabet Soup and crapped out what we now call "The Dictionary."

[Arnold HamNegger]

After Kurt Angle was circumsized as a baby, they used the severed foreskin to make cowboy boots for all of Texas.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle was only in a wheel chair once in his life... so he could take down Steven Hawking fairly.

[McLegend]

Kurt Angle did not invent the Atom Bomb. He did, however, invent atoms

[McLegend]

Now on a serious note.

I just listened to Angle's interview with BTR and I gotta say he knows his MMA.

Like all of you I thought Angle was crazy and was talking out of his ass in the other interviews, but knew a lot about MMA and I am shocked. He even said that he might not be able to beat Chuck Liddell or Tito, but he would put up a good fight with them. Angle even knew stuff about Pride and Fedor.

So you know what I don't think Angle is crazy.

However...

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Kurt Angle and forgot to pay him back.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle doesn't let Wookies win. Wookies let Kurt Angle win.

[Corkscrewed]

Everytime you masturbate, Kurt Angle German Suplexes a kitten.

[Corkscrewed]

Rome wasn't built in a day. Rather, Kurt Angle came along and built it in about ten minutes, had a streetfight with Chris Benoit that destroyed anything, then decided to put two twin babies in charge of reconstruction.

[Corkscrewed]

The New York Police Department once considered using Kurt Angle to take down King Kong from the top of the Empire State Building, but realized that would have been rather inhumane.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle can beat Godzilla in a belching contest.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle does vector calculus just for fun. He doesn't have a gat but he's got a soldering gun.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle went into the Bermuda Triangle and rescued every single person that was ever lost in there.

[Londoner]

Unlike Flair Woo, Kurt Angle doesn't need to say how great he is.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle personally approved this fact.

[Fox]

Kurt Angle turned down the lead role in "Superman Returns," stating "Superman? I don't sweat freakin' Superman. It took him forever to turn back time in Superman: The Movie. I did that twice this morning. I bet you didn't notice."

[Stickman]

Kurt Angle walked down the street with an erection......there were no survivors.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle vetoed the Law of Gravity.

[Funky Fly]

Kurt angle can divide by zero
You were warned about the sig.

BAM

[Xero]

Funky Fly has a Banhammer. Kurt Angle has a ban hammer, screwdriver, wrench, fist, foot and head.

[Corkscrewed]

Funky Fly has a Banhammer. Kurt Angle once banned hammers and all other tools on site and built an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition house all by himself with his bare hands in seven minutes.

























....with a broken frickin' neck!!

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle's house is in the middle of the country. This is because when it was built in the city, it made all the other houses tap out, and they razed themselves our of terror.

[Corkscrewed]

It was originally Angle's Theory of Relativity, but he felt sorry for the Jews and decided to give it to his friend, Albert Einstein.

[Corkscrewed]

FYI: The movie Jaws features Kurt Angle in one of his rare animorph appearances.

[Corkscrewed]

There is a secret Power Rangers episode where Kurt Angle, playing the villain, destroys the Power Rangers, all of their Megazords, Zordon, and Alpha once and for all, rendering the Rangers completely powerless. He then has a hot, passionate threesome with Kimberly and Trini. Angle ended up deciding not to air it because he didn't want to traumatize children.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle was announced as the lead for "24", but the plans had to change once all the terrorists and backstabbers in the world were dead in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

[owenbrown]

There is a secret Power Rangers episode where Kurt Angle, playing the villain, destroys the Power Rangers, all of their Megazords, Zordon, and Alpha once and for all, rendering the Rangers completely powerless. He then has a hot, passionate threesome with Kimberly and Trini. Angle ended up deciding not to air it because he didn't want to traumatize children.

Damn the luck :D :rofl:

[owenbrown]

When Kurt Angle was 7 years old, he played T-ball in his town's little league. All of the other kids would make fun of little Kurt because of his baldness. One day, in order to send a message, Kurt took aim and hit a line drive so hard, it hit an outfielder and obliterated the kid's face into dust particles. The child's lifeless decapitated body lay there with brain matter sprayed all about. To this day, Kurt Angle will pimp slap anybody who gives him any shit about it.

[Funky Fly]

Kurt Angle personally gave me my Banhammer.

[Corkscrewed]

:eek:

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle personally gave Triple A this web site. :shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle ate Chuck Norris and pooped out Steven Seagal.

[owenbrown]

George W. Bush wanted to nominate Kurt Angle for Supreme Court Chief Justice but the Separation of Powers called for by the Constitution doesn't allow that if the person is already this country's main Instrument of Justice.

[Xero]

Some people play "got yer nose" with their kids. Kurt Angle plays "Got yer lower intestine" with Alligators.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle hates the story of Robin Hood because Kurt Angle is filthy rich. If Robin Hood had tried take Kurt's money and give it to the poor, there would be no Legend of Robin Hood, only the Legend of How Kurt Angle Killed Robin Hood and Fed Him to Bears.

[owenbrown]

Few people know that Kurt Angle was crucified and buried with Jesus. However, unlike Jesus, Kurt rose from the dead after a few hours and spent the next two days drawing on Jesus' face with a Sharpie, taking embarrassing pictures of Him, and slapping him in the face with his own hand, saying, "Quit hittin' yourself!"

[Xero]

There once was a man from Nantucket. That man was Kurt Angle and the stories about him were greatly under-stated.

[owenbrown]

Once while walking down the beach Kurt Angle came across a woman with no arms or legs, crying. When he asked what was wrong, she explained that she had never been fucked by a man. Kurt Angle tenderly picked up the woman and threw her in the ocean. He then called out to her, "Now you're fucked."

[Xero]

Kurt Angle can make Weebles fall down and stay down.

[owenbrown]

The black plague was the result of Kurt Angle sneezing on Europe.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle accounts for more than 90% of all the penis in the world.

[Stickman]

Kurt Angle doesn't need to mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.

[owenbrown]

4 out of 5 dentists recommend Kurt Angle. The 5th is on the FBI's Missing Person's List.

[TerranRich]

We're starting to get repeats in this thread. And owenbrown, that's an obvious joke that you're re-telling as a Kurt Angle fact. Kurt Angle would not approve.



The Bermuda Triangle exists because Kurt Angle needs his privacy, and loves the tropical weather down there.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle accidentally ate a school bus thinking it was a bananna. He later crapped out Voltron, which is now secretly defending The United States.

[RGWhat316]

Kurt Angle has never been fooled by trick birthday candles.

[RGWhat316]

According to Kurt, there are 28 letters in the alphabet due to his 3 I's. If you tell him otherwise, he will rip out your eyes.

[Corkscrewed]

BTW... this thread needs to be archived.

[TerranRich]

Definitely!


According to Kurt Angle, it really was Gene Snitsky's fault.

[Londoner]

Even if there is no way out, Angle will always find a way out.

[Disturbed316]

Kurt Angle CAN fight his way out of a paper bag.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle CAN hit the side of a barn with a baseball. From 25,000 miles away.