Kurt Angle can beat anyone in MMA

[KingofOldSchool]

Oh and he's seen Trish Stratus naked, too.

Kurt Angle's latest

by Phil Adams

Kurt was on with Scotty Ferrall.

Scott and Kurt went to same High School in Pittsburgh, Kurt is a bit younger,
though. Kurt went over his previous addictions, claiming up to 65 Vicodins
per day, including 18 just to get out of bed which impressed Ferrall to no
end. Kurt went through the story of Vince forcing him to rehab on the road.

Kurt told the heartwarming story of his fight with Eddie Guererro. Eddie
shot on him, trying a leg dive on Kurt. Kurt avoided it and put him in a
rear naked choke. Another (nameless) wrestler asked Eddie why he would try
a single leg on an Olympic champion. Eddie replied "because I'm fucking
stupid".

Kurt actually promoted TNA. He predicted his match this Sunday with
Christian will be match of the year. He said that Samoa Joe is a tremendous
athlete, can do a 4.5 40 yd dash and has a 44" verticle leap. He said his
deal with TNA is financially better than at WWE and at WWE he had a one
million dollar guarantee and usually made 2.5 to 3 million.

Talking about his WWE days, he has seen Trish Stratus naked, but wouldn't
give the details. In response to question from Eric the Midget, he
reiterated his claim that HHH is a slimeball, saying he is a slimeball
because HHH would never put Kurt over knowing Kurt could surpass him.

He is negotiating for a big deal with EXC. He claimed that although UFC,
through Dana, didn't want him after he told them he would continue to
wrestle, they now want him again after hearing he is negotiating with EXC.
He is now negotiating with both. Spike wants him to go UFC.

Of course, he can beat anybody in MMA since he has superior quickness. He
wants to fight three times before he is 40. He is probably too big to fight
at 205, so a special weight class will have to be made for him.

From listening to alot his interviews with Bubba, I can say that at least
alot of his stuff consistent credit: wrestling observer

[Xero]

Angle: RRAARR UFC ME WIN! ME KILL QUEERS IN UFC! ME HEADBUTT! GRRR!

[Kane Knight]

Kurt would get killed by any legit name in MMA.

[ron the dial]

I can't wait to see this happen just so Angle will shut the hell up about MMA after he gets his ass handed to him. Stick to wrestling, Kurt.

[Gertner]

Cro Cop would kick his head off his shoulders

[The One]

Kurt Angle has counted to Infinity...twice.

[The One]

Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Kurt Angle pajamas.

[The One]

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Kurt Angle instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Angle suplexed Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.

[The One]

Kurt Angle can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass...at night.

[The One]

Kurt Angle can win a game of connect four in 3 moves.

[The One]

Kurt Angle doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[The One]

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Kurt Angle beats all 3 at the same time.

[The One]

Kurt Angle drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

[The One]

Kurt Angle can get blackjack with just one card.

[The One]

Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Kurt Angle".

[The One]

P.S. I just ripped off all those facts from ChuckNorrisFacts.com

[Avenger]

lol people should start doing those jokes about Angle. It could catch on.

[Kane Knight]

Actually, this is the best use of the Norris Worship ever.

[Londoner]

LOL

[M-A-G]

The One just became my favorite poster.

[M-A-G]

For now....

[Caged Heat18]

The One just became my favorite poster since Kurt Angle

[M-A-G]

Kurt invented TPWW but just let Triple A have it.

[Londoner]

The terrorists don't win, Kurt Angle wins.

I made that up myself...

[Xero]

Moses parted the Red Sea. Kurt Angle parted the Milky Way.

[Xero]

Who is the strongest human being alive?

I don't know, but Kurt Angle could kick his ass.

[Londoner]

We don't need God, we have Kurt Angle.

[Kane Knight]

When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Kurt Angle.

[Londoner]

World of warcraft?More like, World of Kurt Angle!

[Londoner]

MMANGLE

[Kane Knight]

So Angle was being interviewed by a midget?

[Jeritron]

Eric the midget. From Howard Stern show.

[The Naitch]

Special weight class? How the hell are they gonna pull that off?

[ddpBANG]

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Kurt Angle beats all 3 at the same time.
With a BROKEN FREAKIN' NECK!!

[The Naitch]

Kurt Angle is so awesome that Mr. Clean wanted to be Kurt Angle

[tucsonspeed6]

Kurt Angle said in another interview that he not only saw Trish naked, but he had sex with her too. He said, "She wasn't all that great. There wasn't anything special about her. Her breasts felt like any other womans...you know how you feel it and ... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it. :shifty: "

[Tombstone275]

When Kurt Angle wants to mail a letter he shoves it down the throught of the nearest house pet and hurrels it in the direction of the recipient.

[M-A-G]

When hospitals are short on IVs, they hook patients up to Chuck Norris.

[M-A-G]

Oops, forgot who this thread was supposed to be about.

[M-A-G]

Church officials are considering re-naming the Apocalypse 'Chuck Norris'.

[M-A-G]

Evolution has no effect on Chuck Norris as he's already the peak of human potential.

[FourFifty]

It's official- Kurt has out Helwigged The Warrior.

[Corkscrewed]

No, not quite. He's kept his rants within the realm of wrestling and not expanded into real imaginary hallucinations on anything.

[Kane Knight]

MMMA really isn't wrestling. Though shooting on people in MMA is no big. Now if he went to a UFC bout with a steel chair...

[Kane Knight]

...Actually, I'd mark the fuck out.

[Shadow]

Oh Kurt...why the hell are you so insane?

[Pepsi Man]

I could picture Kurt in at least half those scenarios you guys gave. :D

[M-A-G]

When he gets shot at, bullets actually move out of the way as to not get hurt by Chuck Norris.

[Xero]

Chuck Norris has met Kurt Angle only once. It was called the Big Bang.

[FourFifty]

Oh Kurt...why the hell are you so insane?

Drugs

[Xero]

TNA brand Kool-Aid

[RP]

Kurt Angle doesnt abuse vicodin anymore. He now takes 18 Kurt Angles every morning to get out of bed. By Kurt Angles, i mean vicodin that Kurt Angle made himself and called Kurt Angles.

[The Naitch]

Kurt Angle is so awesome that vicodins are addicted to Kurt Angle

[Inadequacy]

Ron Jeremy actually has a tiny penis/schlong/dick/johnson/jimmy/Heidenreich, he just borrowed Kurt Angles' whenever there was a camera present.

[Tombstone275]

If Kurt Angle were locked in a room with a guitar he would record an album that would break all sales and bilboard records and sweep the grammys, winning in almost every catagory. When asked why he doesnt do this he promptly says " Cuz that shit is for FAGS ARAHHHA!" He then swallows a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

[Ninti the Mad]

Chuck Norris has met Kurt Angle only once. It was called the Big Bang.


lol

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle doesn't win World Titles, World Titles win Kurt Angle.

[FourFifty]

In Soviet Russia Jeff Jarrett jobs to Kurt!

[Xero]

Kurt Angle was looking for a challenge, so he broke his own neck and entered the Olympics.

[Loose Cannon]

Kurt Angle doesn't win World Titles, World Titles win Kurt Angle.

ROFL

[TerranRich]

On the Seventh Day, Kurt Angle called God lazy and kept working.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[KingofOldSchool]

Peyton Manning can throw a football 50 yards. Kurt Angle can throw Peyton Manning further.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle invented a time machine, went back to the dawn of time, killed Chuck Norris and ejaculated into the primordial ooze.

[M-A-G]

In 'Star Wars', The Force was played by Chuck Norris.

[TerranRich]

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Kurt Angle has 72, and they'll all make you tap.

[Kane Knight]

On the Seventh Day, Kurt Angle called God lazy and kept working.

With a broken FREAKIN' neck, no less.

[Tombstone275]

When Kurt Angle thinks of the starving children of Africa, his tears make the skies above them cloud up and rain - a rain of pure acid that kills all the livestock and crops. But his smile can light up a room.

[TerranRich]

Okay, was that sig really necessary, Tombstone?

[TerranRich]

When Kurt Angle sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Kurt Angle has not had to pay taxes, ever.

[TerranRich]

Someone once tried to tell Kurt Angle that the ankle lock isn't the best way to make someone tap. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

[Jeritron]

Kurt Angle made Hitler tap on two nonconsecutive occasions, both times while eating a turkey sandwich on marble rye from the carnegie deli

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle doesn't read in the conventional sense. Rather, the words form into gladiators within his psyche, drawing upon the powers of their respective meanings, and battle until only the strongest survive in an arena of fire.

[Funky Fly]

If you strike Chuck Norris down, he shall become more powerful that you can possibly imagine.
You.

Turn your sig off. There's a reason it's set to only show up when you start a topic.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle can hit you so hard that he can alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally grab their heads and yell "What the fuck was that!?"

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle once consumed 2,847 regulation hockey pucks in a single sitting.

[Jeritron]

Kurt Angle once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle once had cancer, but he coughed out the tumor and then used it to butter his bread.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle is such a furious masturbator that he has had seven penis transplants
These facts are supposed to be complimentary. Saying he jerks off too much is kind of insulting. Kurt Angle would not be pleased.

[TerranRich]

In an average wrestling ring there are 1,242 objects Kurt Angle could use to kill you, including the referee.

[Jeritron]

On the morning before the first day, God stole Kurt Angles moveset. He couldn't be bothered to complain.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

[TerranRich]

There are no steroids in pro wrestling. Just workers Kurt Angle has breathed on.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle rejoins seperated siamese twins with his bare hands for his own ammusement.

[Tombstone275]

Contrary to popular belief, Kurt Angle does not have his own seat on the UN Security Council. He does, however, maintain the right to devour the General Assembly on every third Wednesday of odd-numbered months.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle split the atom with an ankle lock

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Kane Knight invented pink.

When Kurt Angle talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Kurt Angle knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego.

[TerranRich]

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Kurt Angle.

[owenbrown]

Give it up, Tombstone. :nono:

[TerranRich]

It takes Kurt Angle 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle created South North Korea by drawing a line of chalk 10 miles away from the DMZ and daring anyone to step across.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego.

Does that mean Rockapella can stop singing that song? :lol:


and lmfao at turning this into a sorta Kurt Angle vs. Chuck Norris thread.

[TerranRich]

Psst! Here: http://misc.xylot.net/index.php?title=Chuck_Norris_Facts

This'll help. :)

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle frequently swallows whole cucumbers, but solely for the nutritional value. Woe to he who should so much as snicker at this admittedly homo-erotic spectacle.

[TerranRich]

Does that mean Rockapella can stop singing that song? :lol:
DOOO-WOP DOO DAH DEEP DOOOO-WOP, DIGGY-DOW-DAH DOOO-WOP

HUNH!! Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego!

[Jeritron]

Kurt Angle is bored by olympic medals. Instead he collects temple pendants and assembles the Silver Monkey with his eyes closed and suplexes any guards that get in his way.

[owenbrown]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Kurt Angle and he will roundhouse you in the face.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round

[owenbrown]

When Kurt Angle calls 900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

[TerranRich]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Kurt Angle and he will roundhouse you in the face.
No no NO! It doesn't make sense if you don't edit the entire thing for Kurt. Kurt doesn't roundhouse kick. He kills.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle broke the sound barrier with an Ankle Lock.

[Tombstone275]

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Kurt Angle allows to live.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle invented Geometry. Why do you think they call them "Angles"?

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle doesn't believe in Germany.


Kurt Angle CAN believe it's not butter.


Thousands of years ago, Kurt Angle came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic, and all of its descendants now have white hair.

[Xero]

Yeah, trying to be original here and it isn't working, so...

Kurt Angle can slam a revolving door.

[Tombstone275]

When Kurt Angle was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Kurt Angle!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle uses 14 muscles to smile, but only 2 to destroy an orphanage.

[owenbrown]

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Kurt Angle lives in Pennsylvania.

[TerranRich]

An anagram for Kurt Angle is AGENT LURK. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

[Tombstone275]

The constellation 'Kurt Angle' is made up by connecting every single star of the night sky. It gives a rough iconography of Kurt's exploits throughout time, including his lesser renowned exploits on the Island of Donkey Punches.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys tables, ring steps, and titantrons.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle's suplexes don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the spacetime continuum.

[TerranRich]

Helen Keller's favorite color is Kurt Angle.

[Tombstone275]

If the Hebrew equivalent of Kurt Angle's name is ever spoken aloud, the sun will go dark and TNA ratings will skyrocket.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle did not lose a hair-vs-hair match years ago. His hair simply ran away out of sheer terror.

[Xero]

There is no global warming, Kurt Angle adjusts the atmosphere when he's uncomfortable.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle has been known to sellotape C4 to Tortoises and use them as a cheap alternative to hand grenades.

[TerranRich]

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Kurt Angle. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle once gave a woman an orgasm so intense she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk.

[TerranRich]

Fear is not the only emotion Kurt Angle can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't tap out to Kurt Angle tonight."

[owenbrown]

Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Kurt Angle to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Kurt Angle had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.

[Xero]

To be the man, you've got to beat the man. Kurt Angle is the man, so just give up.

[TerranRich]

The easiest way to determine Kurt Angle's age is to cut him in half and count the rings.


ADDENDUM: Since it is physically impossible to cut him in half, it is assumed that Kurt Angle is ageless.

[Tombstone275]

The name Kurt Angle is a derivative of "Kurlovit Anglaski," which is Russian for "hairless marsupial".

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Kurt Angle's personal chef.

[owenbrown]

When Kurt Angle says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

[Xero]

Dammit, Terran, I was about to post that one!

[Tombstone275]

To be the man, you've got to beat the man. Kurt Angle is the man, so just give up.
eh

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Kurt met all three bullets with his teeth, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Kurt ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

[TerranRich]

In a match between The Big Show and Andre the Giant, the winner would be Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle's sperm is so badass, he had sex with Stacy Keibler, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

[Tombstone275]

If they told Kurt Angle instead of Houston, "We have a problem", he would've ankle locked it.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Kurt ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
ROFL :rofl: :rofl:

[Tombstone275]

Taking a picture of Kurt Angle's penis is the key to immortality. Take a picture of the wrong one however, and he will take yours and add it to himself. Unless you're a girl. Then he'll make you one and take yours.

[Tombstone275]

When he was nine, Kurt Angle dressed as himself to go trick-or-treating. He came home with a bag full of candy, a bag full of miniature liquor bottles, an Irish Setter, and two underage prostitutes carrying more of his candy.

[Innovator]

In an attempt to end World War II, the United States government authorized the drop of Kurt Angle onto Hiroshima. However, the Japanese hired a mercenary, known today as Samoa Joe, to meet him. The ensuing fight leveled the city, killing thousands.

However, the match was so well received (Metlzer gave it ****1/2) that a rematch was immediately booked in Nagasaki.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle doesn't go on the Internet, he has every web site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

[TerranRich]

When Kurt Angle beats the clock, he beats it to a bloody pulp.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle donated 40% of his profits to Tsunami Relief out of guilt for casing the tsunami in the first place: he dipped his finger in the Pacific Ocean.

[TerranRich]

In a tag team match, Kurt Angle teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

[Tombstone275]

White people like Kurt Angle because he makes Malcolm X look like Wayne Brady.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

[TerranRich]

The drummer for Def Leppard once looked at Kurt Angle the wrong way. He got off easy.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle once visited the Grim Reaper and his family at Death's summer home in Albany, NY. He punched out Death's youngest son for looking at him wrong, then stole Death Jr's tricycle to make his getaway. Kurt then with the Death's trike, proceeded to win the Indy 500, and several less than memorable NASCAR races.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle was present at the fail of the Berlin wall as a roadie for David Hasslehoff.

[TerranRich]

In the beginning, Vince McMahon created a safe-haven for people away from Kurt Angle. We know this today as the late WCW.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle once Olympic Slammed a telemarketer. Over the phone.

[TerranRich]

Germans love David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff loves Kurt Angle.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle is actually the one singing during Ashlee Simpson's concerts.

[TerranRich]

After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Kurt Angle with a handshake. The rest is history.

[Innovator]

Kurt Angle blacked out once. when he woke up, women were naked, ankles were snapped, and a goat was wearing a Kurt Angle t-shirt.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle is not bald, his hair doesn't grow out of sheer terror.

[Tombstone275]

Kurt Angle once bred a pug and a monkey. The result was Taz

[owenbrown]

Kenny G is allowed to live because Kurt Angle doesn't kill women.

[owenbrown]

When Kurt Angle goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle was originally cast as the main character of "24", but was replaced by the producers when the managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

[Xero]

Hulk Hogan isn't Immortal, Kurt Angle just breathed on him.

[TerranRich]

Xero, you stole my Kurt Angle bald fact. :rant:

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Kurt Angle didn't kill you in your sleep.

[TerranRich]

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Kurt Angle wanted his nickname back.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle has held the World Championship in every wrestling company at the same time.

[TerranRich]

The Three Stages of Hell match type was invented after Vince McMahon visited Kurt Angle's three-floor home in Pennsylvania.

[Xero]

There is no Dana, only Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

'Kurt Angle' is not only a noun, but a transitive verb. And an adjective in British English.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Kurt Angle.

[Corkscrewed]

The Apollo program didn't become successful until Kurt Angle allowed NASA to harness a small amount of his testosterone as rocket fuel.

[owenbrown]

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Kurt Angle having sex with your girlfriend and her slightly more attractive sister.

[TerranRich]

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Kurt Angle's PC will crash. Kurt Angle, of course, uses Linux. He just likes seeing Bill Gates sweat.

[Corkscrewed]

The reasons dragons don't exist is because one time, one of them thought he was hotter than Kurt Angle. Kurt wiped out the entire species out of retribution.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle once finished "The Song That Never Ends".

[Corkscrewed]

Gandalf came back to life because Kurt Angle was sad he died.

[TerranRich]

Shelton Benjamin once defeated Kurt Angle in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Kurt Angle invented racism.



Kurt Angle and Shelton Benjamin walked into a bar. The building then exploded, because that much awesomeness cannot be contained in one place.

[Xero]

When making love to his wife, Kurt Angle uses another woman as a condom.

[owenbrown]

The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Kurt Angle.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle doesn't work for TNA, TNA works for Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Kurt Angle IS.

[Corkscrewed]

Everytime TPWW crashes, it's because Kurt Angle read about a Burt Angle joke on here.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle doesn't work for TNA, TNA works for Kurt Angle.
BEST ONE YET! :rofl:

[TerranRich]

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle is the reason that Steven Richards keeps vanishing.

[TerranRich]

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Kurt Angle during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

[KingofOldSchool]

9/11 happened because those planes got in Angle's way.

[TerranRich]

Most kids wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Kurt Angle pajamas.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle once obliterated Michael Jordan in a game of HORSESHOESAREMETALHALFRINGCONTRAPTIONSATTACHEDTOTHEHOOFSOFHORSESSOTHEYCANWALKBETTER.

[TerranRich]

Death once had a near-Kurt-Angle experience.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Kurt Angle is.

[TerranRich]

Jim Ross once insulted Kurt Angle's mother. His face has never been the same since.

[Corkscrewed]

The O RLY owl died because Kurt Angle thought it was looking at him funny.

[TerranRich]

When an episode of TNA was aired in France, the French surrendered to Kurt Angle just to be on the safe side.

[Corkscrewed]

Kurt Angle did it... for The Rock. And The Rock was eternally grateful.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle can never be Hassan'd. Ever.

[Corkscrewed]

The Romans conquered the entire known Western World simply by having a crest of Kurt Angle on the lead man of their armies. Entire kingdoms surrendered immediately upon sight.

[Corkscrewed]

The reason the Great Khali's chop is so annihilating is because he once got 1/100th-chopped by Kurt Angle, and the energy transfer after Great Khali recovered from being in a coma for 38 days enabled the Great Khali to grow 24 inches and have super palm strength.

[owenbrown]

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Kurt Angle can go up Niagara Falls just by walking on it.

[Xero]

Pluto isn't a planet. Kurt Angle just flicked one of his boogers upward.

[Corkscrewed]

The only reason Wilt Chamberlain ever slept with 10,000 women is because those were Kurt Angle's rejects.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt's Mother tried to have an abortion, but he made the wire coat hanger tap out.

[Corkscrewed]

Black holes are simply places where Kurt Angle got mad and punched the universe.

[Corkscrewed]

El Nino is caused whenever Kurt Angle decides to sneeze.

[Xero]

Kane was never disfigured. He was just hiding his identity because he owed Kurt Angle money.

[owenbrown]

Kurt Angle once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

[Corkscrewed]

Those aren't really terrorist attacks that happen in Iraq. Kurt Angle merely likes to visit the troops regularly, and random Sunnis and Shiites explode out of sheer amazement.

[Corkscrewed]

A jihad is actually literally translated as combat waged to gain the affections of Kurt Angle. That was shortened to "holy war" to make it easier to repeat.

[owenbrown]

:rofl: This thread

[TerranRich]

Undertaker was 6'2" before Kurt Angle told him to stop slouching and stand up straight. Taker grew 9 inches out of sheer terror.

[Corkscrewed]

At an autograph session, Kurt Angle once shook hands with a small boy. That boy later grew up to become Paul Bunyan.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now known as "The Islands".

[TerranRich]

If you misspell 'Kurt Angle' on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Kurt Angle?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[Corkscrewed]

The Bloods and the Crips were formed over an argument about whether or not the Angle Lock was better than the Angle Slam.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

[TerranRich]

When Kurt Angle bites on his mouthpiece, the mouthpiece screams for mercy.

[Xero]

Christopher Columbus actually had four ships: The Nina, The Pinta, the Santa Maria and the Kurt Angle. The Kurt Angle didn't get lost.

[TerranRich]

The reason why we have four seasons in a year is because Kurt Angle is constantly getting bored.

[TerranRich]

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. Kurt Angle did.

[TerranRich]

Little Bastard hides under the ring because he knows Kurt Angle dislikes little people.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle has invented space travel and is considered to be a God. Hence, Scientology.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle can't reproduce because there isn't a woman strong enough to carry Kurt Angle's DNA.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle now wears a mouth guard made of Titanium because he recently discovered his bite force is 152 Tons.

[TerranRich]

The Little Engine That Could couldn't until Kurt Angle suplexed it up the hill.

[KingofOldSchool]

Pain's real name is Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle has a "Hot Or Not" rating of 75,000,000.

[TerranRich]

It is pointless for Kurt Angle to have a MySpace profile, for no one is his friend. Not even Tom.

[Xero]

The Little Engine That Could couldn't until Kurt Angle suplexed it up the hill.
I LOLed

One of the more classic threads in recent history.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kurt Angle's MySpace page is the Universe and his only friends are left fist and right fist.

[Xero]

Kurt Angle doesn't need a computer, his brain has built-in WiFi.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle won a Demolition Derby walking on his hands.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle doesn't have to watch the news. The news comes to Kurt, and asks politely if it can explain itself to him.

[Xero]

Hitler didn't commit suicide, he caught wind that Kurt Angle was recruited and had a heart attack.

[TerranRich]

Kurt Angle invented Icy-Hot as a personal lubricant.

[M-A-G]

The only reason you're alive is because Chuck Norris allows it.

[M-A-G]

God believes in Chuck Norris.

[KingofOldSchool]

When Michael Jordan was younger, he wanted to be like Kurt.

[M-A-G]

When Chuck Norris sneezes, he's blessing you.

[TerranRich]

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Kurt Angle, after he evicted Spongebob and took over the entire ocean.

[M-A-G]

Chuck Norris simply stares at the woman he wishes to carry his seed.

[TerranRich]

M-A-G, stop ruining the joke. Idiot.

[Xero]

M-A-G F-A-I-L-S at this thread.

[M-A-G]

Chuck Norris bleeds platinum and sh*ts gold bricks.

[TerranRich]

After sexual intercourse with Kurt Angle, many women look down to see Intensity and Integrity dripped down their inner thigh.

[M-A-G]

M-A-G, stop ruining the joke. Idiot.
I'm not a Kurt Angle fan. If I was to do it for Kurt Angle, it'd be to make fun of him.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle was originally cast to play the roll of "Marcellus Wallace", but noone fucks Kurt Angle. Noone.

[TerranRich]

Phobias are afraid of Kurt Angle.

[TerranRich]

I'm not a Kurt Angle fan. If I was to do it for Kurt Angle, it'd be to make fun of him.
Then GTFO of this thread.

[M-A-G]

Chuck Norris keeps body fat away by sheer will power.

[TerranRich]

If you rearrange the letters in "Jesus Christ" you get "Kurt Angle", but you have to try really hard.

[KingofOldSchool]

Jesus didn't die for our sins, he died because Kurt Angle wanted to be entertained.

[TerranRich]

Lesbians exist because they've met M-A-G.

[M-A-G]

There have been over 1,000 deaths in colleges from students attempting to drink Chuck Norris under the table.

[Arnold HamNegger]

Kurt Angle turned water into wine and then crucified Jesus for lying.