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#81 |
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Unnecessarily awesome
Posts: 8,323
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Hospital Chairman: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant.
Dr. Nick: But I cleaned them with my napkin. Hospital Chairman: Misuse of the cadavers. Dr. Nick: I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane. |
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#82 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,419
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Heavyweight boxing? Homer, of all the dumb things you've ever done, this one ranks somewhere in the middle.
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#83 |
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Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,925
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(Nelson is punching Drederick Tatum)
Nelson: Waaaaaaaaa Please don't hurt me... Tatum: You leave me little recourse. |
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#84 |
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LIMITLESS
Posts: 32,276
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"Does whiskey count as beer?"
"Donuts -- is there anything they CAN'T do?" "I call the big one Bitey." |
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#85 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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Mr. Burns: Look at him strutting around like he's cock of the walk. Well, let me tell you. Homer Simpson is cock of nothing!
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#86 |
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VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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Marge: Homer, I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table!
Homer: You said the breakfast table. Marge: It's the same table! Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. I don't wanna snuggle with Max Power! Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power - You strap yourself in and feel the G's! Marge: Oh Lord... Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom! Oh no! I'm taking charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things! The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way! Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?? Homer: Yeah, but faster! Homer: (as town crier) Hear ye, hear ye! What's for breakfast? Marge: Toast. Homer: I can't understand thee, Marge. Marge: (sighs) Ye olde toast. Homer: Woo-hoo! |
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#87 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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Hee hee look at this country. U r gay.
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#88 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Ms Krabappel: Our demands are very reasonable. By ignoring them, you're selling out these children's futures!
Principal Skinner: Oh come on Edna, we both know that these children HAVE no future! *School kids gasp* *Awkward silence* Principal Skinner: Haha, Prove me wrong kids, prove me wrong. |
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#89 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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Homer: But Marge I was a political prisoner.
Marge: How were you a political prisoner? Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram? |
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#90 |
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LIMITLESS
Posts: 32,276
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#91 |
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bonjour
Posts: 27,814
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Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses? Marge: No... he looks like something might be disturbing him. Homer: Probably misses his old glasses. Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him. Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair. Marge: That's not what I meant. Homer: It was, Marge, admit it. ----- Marge: Homer! Come quick! Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang! ----- Hutz: Now Marge, you've come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey. [sniff] Better cut down there, Smokey! [laughs] Marge: Mr. Hutz! Hutz: [excited] Look - he's taking another puff! Marge: Mr. Hutz! This was all a misunderstanding; I didn't mean to take anything. [Lionel disappointedly drops the smoking monkey in a drawer full of identical critters] Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder. Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'. ----- Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour. Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer. Hutz: Three. Homer: Two. Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage. Homer: Done! Hutz: [proudly] Still got it. A lot of my favourites have been posted already, since I got here uncharacteristically late. |
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#92 |
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Angel Headed Hipster
Posts: 37,942
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Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!
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#93 |
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Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
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"Yes Bart, and in Rand McNally they wear hats on their heads and hamburgers eat people"
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#94 |
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Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,925
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"WHO can prevent forest fires?"-"You have selected 'you', referring to me. This is incorrect. The correct answer is YOU!"
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#95 |
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Inconceivable
Posts: 9,887
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Marge: This is the most exciting scandal since the Juice was on the loose.
Lisa: The Juice is still on the loose. Marge: Naaaah! |
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#96 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,419
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Stupid Phil Hartman had to go and die
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#97 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid!"."
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#98 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Would you look at that, just after you said something about Phil Hartman, I went a posted one of his lines.
![]() Coincidence. |
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#99 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel
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#100 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out'
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#101 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,419
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I honestly didn't even realise until I thought about Phil Hartman's death just before that Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure haven't been on the show in 10 years
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#102 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll
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#103 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,419
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Man versus Nature: The Road to Victory
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#104 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die - and Gladys, the Groovy Mule!
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#105 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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You might remember me from other such show business funerals as Andre the Giant: We Hardly Knew Ye and Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn a Stooge
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#106 |
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Baird
Posts: 27,345
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Kind of reminded by Supreme's quote there:
Dick Cavett: Let's walk and talk. I, uh, I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way. Homer: Er, can't, I gotta go distract bulls at a rodeo. Dick: Hey, me too. We can go together. Homer: Um...no, I'm going a different way than you, Dick. Dick: Heh heh, your...churlish attitude reminds me of a time I was having dinner with Groucho and -- Homer: Look, you're going to be having dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it. |
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#107 |
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Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,925
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"He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk...."-"I CAN SIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!"
"I hate every ape I see... from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee..." |
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#108 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Beat me to it.
I was just about to post a clip of that, Lock Jaw. |
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#109 |
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VG + Q&A FORUM REPRESENT
Posts: 38,940
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Listening to 'In the garden of eden' from the show.
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#110 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,766
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YOU TRADED MY SOUL FOR POGS?!
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#111 |
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Get a poke on
Posts: 35,234
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#112 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Kirk Van Houten: It's a door! Use it!
Homer: That's a door? |
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#113 |
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Skibbidy Lock Jaw
Posts: 88,925
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Reiner Wolfcastle rules as well!
"Upon closer inspection, these appear to be loafers." "UP AND AT THEM!" "Ahhh! My eyes!! The goggles do nothing!!" To a piece of pie: "Remember when I said I'd eat you last? I LIED." "Laughing time is over." "Someone please, give me a job. I lowered my quote to $8 million. I do nude scene, I play nerd. Don't make me punch your throat!" |
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#114 |
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Unnecessarily awesome
Posts: 8,323
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Guy: Greetings, good men. Might I trouble you for a drink?
Moe: Oh, get out of here, Homer. Guy: Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito. [he gets beaten up and tossed out, unconscious] Homer: [walks up, looks at Guy] [gasps] Oh my God! This man is my exact double. [gasps] Oh my God! That dog has a puffy tail! [he chases it, giggling] Here, Puff! Here, Puff! |
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#115 |
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Unnecessarily awesome
Posts: 8,323
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Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Post Office Worker: Okay. What's your first name, Mr. Burns? Homer: ...I don't know. |
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#116 | |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Quote:
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#117 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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#118 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,419
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*Homer building barbecue*
English side...ruined....must use French instructions. Le grill....what the hell is that? |
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#119 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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Marge: I really wish you gave that money to the starving children
Homer: They're with god now honey. |
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#120 |
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The Darkness Has Awoken
Posts: 2,619
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Bart: Ah, yeah is Mike there, last name crotch
Moe: Hang on let me check, My Crotch, My Crotch, hey anybody seen My Crotch lately? (laughter) Moe: You little PUKE, one of these days I'm gonna catch you. |
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