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[Evil Vito]

Tonight's results are sponsored by Penelope Ford



AEW Dark: March 23, 2021:
-"Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford def. Peter Avalon and Leva Bates
-Scorpio Sky def. Angelico
-Evil Uno and Stu Grayson def. Chaos Project
-Powerhouse Hobbs def. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes
-Colt Cabana def. Frankie Kazarian


AEW Dynamite: March 24, 2021

Segment 1:

It's Orange Cassidy vs. Kip Sabian to kick us off, Sabian having returned last week and cost OC his match against Miro. The last time these two met, Sabian did not last very long. Tonight he had a much better account of himself. Miro's attempted interference goes awry, and Cassidy puts Kip away with the Superman Forearm. Miro and Kip but the boots to Cassidy after the bell, when the music of Best Friends hits! Chuck Taylor is back! Chuckie T runs out with a chair, backing Miro and Kip out of the ring for the save. ***, 75% overall

Segment 2:

Backstage, we see Jurassic Express backstage, getting ready for their 6-man tag match tonight. The lights are cut off in their dressing room, a loud commotion is heard, and when they come back, FTR and Shawn Spears are standing over them, chairs in hand. It's chair night in AEW, apparently. Tully Blanchard declares that since their opponents are apparently in no condition to compete, guess they can call it an early night. Tully and Co head for the parking garage. 66% overall

Segment 3:

Hikaru Shida is out for some singles action against her fellow countrywoman Emi Sakura. These two have competed each other many times across various Japanese promotions, and the chemistry is obvious as they had a solid match here. With a rematch for the Women's title on Saturday looming, Shida gets the Three Count for the win. ***1/4, 76% overall

Segment 4:

Shida can't celebrate for too long, as the music of Awesome Kong hits. Shida immediately gets her kendo stick at the ready. Kong emerges with a kendo stick of her own! Security tries to hold Kong back but she plows through them to the ring, members of the AEW women's roster try to break them up and get caned for their trouble. Pull apart brawl for the women, not something you see everyday. 77% overall

Segment 5:

Backstage, Kenny Omega and Don Callis have gathered Team Taz, The Family, and Santana and Ortiz into a conference room. This gathering of the groups is meant to put their differences aside ahead of tonight's main event and Saturday's Blood and Guts, but really it came across more like a town hall meeting with Omega and Callis putting Omega over. FEAR NOT, you are being led into battle by the best wrestler in the world! 97% overall (!)....I actually set the whole group up as a stable called "Heel Team" for this, muahaha

Segment 6:

Hangman Page in action against the ring veteran Christopher Daniels. Matt Hardy joined the commentary team, still incensed about Hangman ripping up the contract last week, but hinting he's got a better offer up his sleeve after this match. Page and Daniels have themselves a banger, Daniels can still go and it's nice to get whatever I can out of him before the game tries to send him into retirement land. Page wins with the Dead Eye. ****, 84% overall

Segment 7:

Matt Hardy sarcastically applauds Hangman's win. "You may have turned down my contract last week, but this week I have a new offer for you. I have in my hand a contract for a match this Saturday at Blood and Guts. You and me. Mano y mano. IF you beat me, I will so generously write you a check for 100% of my 1st quarter earnings. But WHEN I beat you, you have to sign with the Matt Hardy Brand for the next year. So what do you say, cowboy? You know what happened the last time you turn down my contract."

Hangman looks to the crowd, and gets a couple beers from ringside. "I look forward to making some money on Saturday, but this is the only way to close a deal". Hangman and Matt toast, Page hits the lariat mid-sip, beer flies everywhere. Hangman signs the contract and leaves it on the downed Matt. ***, 86% overall

Segment 8:

We see a video package highlighting the members of the other team at Blood and Guts (and yes, I made the face team their own stable in-game for this). Each man talks about the opportunity to make history in the first ever Blood and Guts match in history. Mox embracing the chance to get back to his violent roots, Cody wanting to honor his dad who fought in wars like this, everyone getting a chance to get their hands on their rivals, etc. 87% overall

Segment 9:

Chris Jericho and MJF get some last-minute work in ahead of Saturday's tag title opportunity as they face Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of Dark Order. Announcers remind everyone that Jericho threatened to disband Inner Circle if they don't win the titles on Saturday....is this the last time we're seeing the Inner Circle team on Dynamite?

Lots of hijinx outside the ring with fellow Inner Circle members Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager, and Wardlow cheap shotting Dark Order members Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver. Grayson dives onto the whole pile to try to help his friends. Ref doesn't see Jericho poke Uno in the eyes. Uno loses his bearings, MJF drop toe holds him down and then locks in the Salt of the Earth armbar for the win. ***1/4, 81% overall

Segment 10:

Jericho and MJF obnoxiously celebrate like they just won the World Series while the Dark Order and Inner Circle are still fighting at ringside. They gesture that they'll have belts around their waists soon enough, but don't see the Young Bucks have slid into the ring. Superkicks in stereo and the champs hold their titles above them before sliding back out to avoid the Inner Circle. 81% overall

Segment 11:

TEN MAN TAG TEAM ACTION in our main event pitting Saturday's teams against each other in standard tag action, and it is of great consequence as this match will determine which team will receive the all-important entry advantage ahead of Blood and Guts.

Given this involves ten prominent names, everyone gets a chance to showcase and get some stuff in. There's a reason multi-man tags always devolve into a wild brawl though - because it's fun and it works! Bah gawd what's it gonna be like on Saturday when all of these men are locked in a cage together? Signature fest from everyone, Cody gets the Cross Rhodes on Ortiz but Eddie Kingston hucks him out of the ring. Rey Fenix launches off the ropes at Kingston but Kingston perfectly times it with a Backfist to the Future! Ouch.

The bad guys pick up the win and the advantage for Saturday. ***, 82% overall

81% show rating

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Penelope Ford

I mean, I suppose I can do the rest of this one-handed...

AEW Dark: March 23, 2021: -"Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford def. Peter Avalon and Leva Bates -Scorpio Sky def. Angelico -Evil Uno and Stu Grayson def. Chaos Project -Powerhouse Hobbs def. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes -Colt Cabana def. Frankie Kazarian

I imagine Peter Avalon was also trying to do his job one-handed and suffered because of it....

AEW Dynamite: March 24, 2021 Segment 1: It's Orange Cassidy vs. Kip Sabian to kick us off, Sabian having returned last week and cost OC his match against Miro. The last time these two met, Sabian did not last very long. Tonight he had a much better account of himself. Miro's attempted interference goes awry, and Cassidy puts Kip away with the Superman Forearm. Miro and Kip but the boots to Cassidy after the bell, when the music of Best Friends hits! Chuck Taylor is back! Chuckie T runs out with a chair, backing Miro and Kip out of the ring for the save. ***, 75% overall

The big threat facing Chuck Taylor is neither Miro or Sabian but the possible lawsuit from Ahmed Johnson over the rights to the letter T.

Segment 2: Backstage, we see Jurassic Express backstage, getting ready for their 6-man tag match tonight. The lights are cut off in their dressing room, a loud commotion is heard, and when they come back, FTR and Shawn Spears are standing over them, chairs in hand. It's chair night in AEW, apparently. Tully Blanchard declares that since their opponents are apparently in no condition to compete, guess they can call it an early night. Tully and Co head for the parking garage. 66% overall

Pffft, if only it were that easy in all of our jobs. Imagine the number of days I could have had off if I had just stuffed a bunch of students in a sack and rolled them down a hill.

Segment 3: Hikaru Shida is out for some singles action against her fellow countrywoman Emi Sakura. These two have competed each other many times across various Japanese promotions, and the chemistry is obvious as they had a solid match here. With a rematch for the Women's title on Saturday looming, Shida gets the Three Count for the win. ***1/4, 76% overall

Two Japanese people in the same segment and they're not automatically in the same stable and are actually wrestling instead of doing segments in broken English? You're making people's heads explode.

Segment 4: Shida can't celebrate for too long, as the music of Awesome Kong hits. Shida immediately gets her kendo stick at the ready. Kong emerges with a kendo stick of her own! Security tries to hold Kong back but she plows through them to the ring, members of the AEW women's roster try to break them up and get caned for their trouble. Pull apart brawl for the women, not something you see everyday. 77% overall

The only one that I can recall off the top of my head was Lita and Trish Stratus at Survivor Series 2004. I would imagine things being harder as far as holding back Kong goes.

Segment 5: Backstage, Kenny Omega and Don Callis have gathered Team Taz, The Family, and Santana and Ortiz into a conference room. This gathering of the groups is meant to put their differences aside ahead of tonight's main event and Saturday's Blood and Guts, but really it came across more like a town hall meeting with Omega and Callis putting Omega over. FEAR NOT, you are being led into battle by the best wrestler in the world! 97% overall (!)....I actually set the whole group up as a stable called "Heel Team" for this, muahaha

Meanwhile, back at the Legion of Doom....

Segment 6: Hangman Page in action against the ring veteran Christopher Daniels. Matt Hardy joined the commentary team, still incensed about Hangman ripping up the contract last week, but hinting he's got a better offer up his sleeve after this match. Page and Daniels have themselves a banger, Daniels can still go and it's nice to get whatever I can out of him before the game tries to send him into retirement land. Page wins with the Dead Eye. ****, 84% overall

I remember the game calling it quits for Daniels pretty early if I remember. There's really no rhyme or reason behind when it decides to just screw you over.

Segment 7: Matt Hardy sarcastically applauds Hangman's win. "You may have turned down my contract last week, but this week I have a new offer for you. I have in my hand a contract for a match this Saturday at Blood and Guts. You and me. Mano y mano. IF you beat me, I will so generously write you a check for 100% of my 1st quarter earnings. But WHEN I beat you, you have to sign with the Matt Hardy Brand for the next year. So what do you say, cowboy? You know what happened the last time you turn down my contract." Hangman looks to the crowd, and gets a couple beers from ringside. "I look forward to making some money on Saturday, but this is the only way to close a deal". Hangman and Matt toast, Page hits the lariat mid-sip, beer flies everywhere. Hangman signs the contract and leaves it on the downed Matt. ***, 86% overall

This was gold. Of course, little does Page know that Hardy earns significantly less than what Page does and even then half of it goes to Reby Sky.

Segment 8: We see a video package highlighting the members of the other team at Blood and Guts (and yes, I made the face team their own stable in-game for this). Each man talks about the opportunity to make history in the first ever Blood and Guts match in history. Mox embracing the chance to get back to his violent roots, Cody wanting to honor his dad who fought in wars like this, everyone getting a chance to get their hands on their rivals, etc. 87% overall

Meanwhile, at the League of the Superfriends....

Segment 9: Chris Jericho and MJF get some last-minute work in ahead of Saturday's tag title opportunity as they face Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of Dark Order. Announcers remind everyone that Jericho threatened to disband Inner Circle if they don't win the titles on Saturday....is this the last time we're seeing the Inner Circle team on Dynamite? Lots of hijinx outside the ring with fellow Inner Circle members Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager, and Wardlow cheap shotting Dark Order members Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver. Grayson dives onto the whole pile to try to help his friends. Ref doesn't see Jericho poke Uno in the eyes. Uno loses his bearings, MJF drop toe holds him down and then locks in the Salt of the Earth armbar for the win. ***1/4, 81% overall Segment 10: Jericho and MJF obnoxiously celebrate like they just won the World Series while the Dark Order and Inner Circle are still fighting at ringside. They gesture that they'll have belts around their waists soon enough, but don't see the Young Bucks have slid into the ring. Superkicks in stereo and the champs hold their titles above them before sliding back out to avoid the Inner Circle. 81% overall

This has been quite the shows for heels wanting to celebrate prematurely between the two of us.

Segment 11: TEN MAN TAG TEAM ACTION in our main event pitting Saturday's teams against each other in standard tag action, and it is of great consequence as this match will determine which team will receive the all-important entry advantage ahead of Blood and Guts. Given this involves ten prominent names, everyone gets a chance to showcase and get some stuff in. There's a reason multi-man tags always devolve into a wild brawl though - because it's fun and it works! Bah gawd what's it gonna be like on Saturday when all of these men are locked in a cage together? Signature fest from everyone, Cody gets the Cross Rhodes on Ortiz but Eddie Kingston hucks him out of the ring. Rey Fenix launches off the ropes at Kingston but Kingston perfectly times it with a Backfist to the Future! Ouch. The bad guys pick up the win and the advantage for Saturday. ***, 82% overall 81% show rating

[/QUOTE]

*MARKS OUT FOR OVERCROWDED MAIN EVENT MULTI-PERSON ACTION* I'm just so proud...

Special thanks to Penelope for getting me through this....

[Evil Vito]

[QUOTE=Conspiracy Victim Vito;5428011]Tonight's results are sponsored by Brandi Rhodes, Penelope Ford, and Britt Baker's pool party



AEW Dark: March 30, 2021:
-Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall
-Scorpio Sky def. jack Evans
-Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-Awesome Kong def. Shanna
-The Young Bucks def. Bad Romance


AEW Dynamite: March 31, 2021

Segment 1:

We open up in a conference room for another town hall featuring the losing Blood and Guts team and their associated stables. Kenny Omega and Don Callis are trying to keep this huge group of baddies on the same page despite Blood and Guts being over and Kenny being the one to surrender. Don Callis tells the group that the record book does not tell the whole story. Kenny Omega, as the reigning AEW World champion and best wrestler in the world, has to protect his interests. He was making a savvy business decision and he'd expect anybody else in the room to do the same thing under those circumstances.

As Kenny and Callis continue to talk Omega up, the group slowly but surely start exiting the room, leaving the pair bragging in an empty conference room. And so ends the Legion of Doom. 87% overall


Segment 2:

It's the in ring return of the Galaxy's Greatest Alien Kris Statlander, fresh off of her surprise return on Saturday. She's facing the woman she faced last summer in the match she got injured - Penelope Ford. There's some commotion outside the ring between their seconds, so as to allow Orange Cassidy and Miro to continue their feud...but in-ring it's essentially a showcase for Statlander to get everyone re-acquainted with her. Big Bang Theory gets Kris the win. **1/2, 67% overall


Segment 3:

Taz is backstage with Brian Cage. Now that they got out of that bullshit Omega meeting, time for more pressing matters - Darby Allin, we're still not done here. You have unfinished business with The Machine and don't have Sting around to back you up this time. Your time as TNT champion is coming to an end. 74% overall...hmm, Darby and Cage are over, the feud is hot, Taz not at the same level of overness but he can talk unlike Cage or Darby, figured charisma would win out over overness but guess not, strange algorithms


Segment 4:

Fresh off of clinching a #1 contendership opportunity at Blood and Guts, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian were in action against TH2. Mid-match, FTR and Shawn Spears walked out onto the stage and observed while Tully Blanchard stepped on commentary for a few minutes and called bullshit that AEW did a #1 contendership match pulling names out of a hat when his clients weren't eligible since they had another match that night. It's an injustice as everyone knows FTR are the best team in the division.

FTR played no part in the actual match though, which, by the way, was fucking awesome. Daniels and Kazarian can still go and Daniels continues to do things a man his age shouldn't be able to. Angel's Wings on Jack Evans ends it. ****1/4, 86% overall


Segment 5:

We're backstage for an interview with Cody Rhodes, still sporting a bandaged forehead having needed to get stitched up after getting busted wide open at Blood and Guts. If the injuries were a price to pay to honor the legacy of dad by being in the match he built, so be it. It was one of the proudest moments of his car......WHACK! Eddie Kingston has jumped Cody! Clubs his with rights and lefts and throws him face first into one of the big metal cargo boxes backstage.

Officials and the Natural Nightmares hit the room to back Kingston away while the cameras pan to Cody whose stitch job has been busted back open. 92% overall


Segment 6:

Adam Page, sporting a brand new Dark Order-themed t-shirt now available at ShopAEW.com, is in action against one of Matt Hardy's cohorts in the Hardy Party, Marq Quen. Matt Hardy on commentary gets grilled by the announcers for welching on his bet, and Hardy gets defensive.

Solid athletic contest from the two in the ring but there was only one outcome here - Hangman wins with the Buckshot Lariat that Quen does a full flip sell on for good measure. He gets the win. Hardy and Isisah Kassidy jump into the ring and corner Hangman but The Dark Order run out for the save again. ***, 76% overall


Segment 7:

Hangman gets some celebratory beers and also a microphone. "Matt, you know what you did on Saturday. A contract is only as good as the people signing it, so since you signed it, no wonder it was full of shit."

Matt gets defensive again, citing the fine print in the contract and calling Hangman's claims outrageous, egregious, and preposterous. Now that Hangman's offended him, it's time to make Dark Order pay. He challenges Hangman to pick one of his Dark Order dorks to face him next week. 87% overall


Segment 8:

It's *gasp* the second women's match of the evening! Dr. Britt Baker faces off against Riho. Announcers mention that neither Awesome Kong nor Hikaru Shida are here tonight after their brutal Kendo Stick match on Saturday, and that this match could go a long way toward determining who will be stepping up to Kong next. Baker and Riho have themselves a solid little match that sees Reba pull a turnbuckle off the middle rope which Baker uses to slingshot Riho into and then get a cheap rollup victory. ***, 74% overall


Segment 9:

Our final match of the evening. Despite being in a war just days ago, PAC and Jon Moxley refused a night off and insisted on being booked for action tonight, and they were paired off against Eddie Kingston's right hand men The Butcher and The Blade. The overness discrepancy between the teams meant it was a pretty short write up, but Mox and PAC are so over it didn't destroy the segment rating. I imagine this was a fairly brisk, chaotic brawl ending with Mox pinning Blade following the Paradigm Shift. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 10:

Mox and PAC each grab mics after the match. Both of them want Kenny Omega. Mox still never received a rematch for the AEW World Title, and PAC not only got screwed in his opportunity but he made Omega surrender like a bitch on Saturday, so he deserves another go at it to. If Kenny doesn't agree to give them the shots they deserve, he'll need to watch his back.

But perhaps Mox and PAC should've been watching their own backs as they were jumped by Kenny and "The Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. We haven't seen Karl since losing to Moxley in a tag team tables match at Revolution. The heels take advantage of the faces having lingering injuries Saturday and coming off of a physical match tonight, and the faces are left down and out. 86% overall


Segment 11:

"Judas" by Fozzy hits and out come the Inner Circle for what was promoted as their farewell address.

Jericho explains his reasoning for disbanding the group. The Inner Circle was founded on the very first episode and for much of AEW's history they've been the most dominating faction in the company. But things have slid over the past months. He saw the infighting and the dissension in the ranks. He saw the results not coming up the way they wanted to.

He threatened to break the group up two months ago, but relented and hoped he could find a way to make it work. When he made the ultimatum that it was more gold for the Inner Circle or bust, that was the final test he needed to see if the group could still thrive.

He's got a lot to say to everyone in this ring. To the original members of the group - Sammy, I picked you because you reminded me of me in my mid 20s, and I can see how bright your future will be. Jake, you and I have been down the road in other places before, I know you've dabbled with MMA but I brought you hear because I knew there was so much more you could give to the wrestling business. Santana and Ortiz, I think you're going to end up being the best team in this company, and I feel like shit that I let my own ego get in the way of giving you the tag title shot you deserved.

He then turns to MJF and his bodyguard Wardlow. "Max, this group all went to hell on November 7, 2020...the day I let you join the Inner Circle. We were doing fine with just the five of us, I should have my head examined for ever considering letting someone else in.

Don't get me wrong, you're a hell of a talent, and I mean no disrespect - but you're an asshole. You were an asshole when you joined, a bigger asshole since you've been here, and you'll probably become an even bigger asshole in the future. And you know what? I like that about you. Sometimes you have to rub people the wrong way to get in this business. But there's no way we can continue this group without you.

Look guys, I'm getting kinda schmaltzy on you all, but the point is this - we're all incredible talents. Staying together will just hold us back. I think I need to hit the road for a while and do some self-reflection, but I want you guys to start next week as a clean slate, and I know you'll make me proud. I've got some bubbly in the back for us to enjoy our last night together, but let's flip off the camera one last time for old time's sake."



The group all hug it out after the finger as Judas plays again. Santana and Ortiz are the first to exit the ring and start heading up the ramp. Then Jake Hager, then Sammy Guevara. Jericho waves to the crowd from the turnbuckle, hops down, turns around, WARDLOW LEVELS HIM WITH A LARIAT! MJF then walks over the Jericho and locks him in the Salt of the Earth.

The other four rush back down to the ring and back off Wardlow/MJF. It's a 4 on 2 staredown, until all of a sudden, all 6 of them start stomping a mudhole into Jericho! What in the world! Jericho eats a bunch of finishers and is left dead in the ring with the other 6 men giving him the middle finger as we go off the air. 97% overall


83% show rating

[M-A-G]

[QUOTE=Conspiracy Victim Vito;5430155]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Brandi Rhodes, Penelope Ford, and Britt Baker's pool party

I mean....I fucking hate you....That's another one-handed session we're looking at here.

AEW Dark: March 30, 2021: -Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall -Scorpio Sky def. jack Evans -Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr. -Awesome Kong def. Shanna -The Young Bucks def. Bad Romance

Awesome Kong's continuing murders of bitches is only exacerbating the problem.

AEW Dynamite: March 31, 2021 Segment 1: We open up in a conference room for another town hall featuring the losing Blood and Guts team and their associated stables. Kenny Omega and Don Callis are trying to keep this huge group of baddies on the same page despite Blood and Guts being over and Kenny being the one to surrender. Don Callis tells the group that the record book does not tell the whole story. Kenny Omega, as the reigning AEW World champion and best wrestler in the world, has to protect his interests. He was making a savvy business decision and he'd expect anybody else in the room to do the same thing under those circumstances. As Kenny and Callis continue to talk Omega up, the group slowly but surely start exiting the room, leaving the pair bragging in an empty conference room. And so ends the Legion of Doom. 87% overall

NOOO! Not the end of the Legion of Doom! Callis is such an awesome douche, though.

Segment 2: It's the in ring return of the Galaxy's Greatest Alien Kris Statlander, fresh off of her surprise return on Saturday. She's facing the woman she faced last summer in the match she got injured - Penelope Ford. There's some commotion outside the ring between their seconds, so as to allow Orange Cassidy and Miro to continue their feud...but in-ring it's essentially a showcase for Statlander to get everyone re-acquainted with her. Big Bang Theory gets Kris the win. **1/2, 67% overall

I mean, the Big Bang Theory. That's just such a fucking awesome name. There may be something to this Kris Statlander.

Segment 3: Taz is backstage with Brian Cage. Now that they got out of that bullshit Omega meeting, time for more pressing matters - Darby Allin, we're still not done here. You have unfinished business with The Machine and don't have Sting around to back you up this time. Your time as TNT champion is coming to an end. 74% overall...hmm, Darby and Cage are over, the feud is hot, Taz not at the same level of overness but he can talk unlike Cage or Darby, figured charisma would win out over overness but guess not, strange algorithms

Yeah, every so often the game doesn't seem to care about a person's charisma rating. I've had times where people in their nineties deliver a segment that only gets like 80% or so. Other factors might include their attributes like Superstar Look. Also TNT Champion is a nice little name.

Segment 4: Fresh off of clinching a #1 contendership opportunity at Blood and Guts, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian were in action against TH2. Mid-match, FTR and Shawn Spears walked out onto the stage and observed while Tully Blanchard stepped on commentary for a few minutes and called bullshit that AEW did a #1 contendership match pulling names out of a hat when his clients weren't eligible since they had another match that night. It's an injustice as everyone knows FTR are the best team in the division. FTR played no part in the actual match though, which, by the way, was fucking awesome. Daniels and Kazarian can still go and Daniels continues to do things a man his age shouldn't be able to. Angel's Wings on Jack Evans ends it. ****1/4, 86% overall

It's weird because I don't think the games in the beginning gave high stats to Kazarian. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. Regardless, screw it. Use them for them snowflakes!

Segment 5: We're backstage for an interview with Cody Rhodes, still sporting a bandaged forehead having needed to get stitched up after getting busted wide open at Blood and Guts. If the injuries were a price to pay to honor the legacy of dad by being in the match he built, so be it. It was one of the proudest moments of his car......WHACK! Eddie Kingston has jumped Cody! Clubs his with rights and lefts and throws him face first into one of the big metal cargo boxes backstage. Officials and the Natural Nightmares hit the room to back Kingston away while the cameras pan to Cody whose stitch job has been busted back open. 92% overall

FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!

Segment 6: Adam Page, sporting a brand new Dark Order-themed t-shirt now available at ShopAEW.com, is in action against one of Matt Hardy's cohorts in the Hardy Party, Marq Quen. Matt Hardy on commentary gets grilled by the announcers for welching on his bet, and Hardy gets defensive. Solid athletic contest from the two in the ring but there was only one outcome here - Hangman wins with the Buckshot Lariat that Quen does a full flip sell on for good measure. He gets the win. Hardy and Isisah Kassidy jump into the ring and corner Hangman but The Dark Order run out for the save again. ***, 76% overall

BAH GAWD! ADAM PAGE PULLED A MICK FOLEY WITH A CHEAP PLUG!!! DOES HE HAVE NO SHAME? DOES HE HAVE NO DECENCY??!?

Segment 7: Hangman gets some celebratory beers and also a microphone. "Matt, you know what you did on Saturday. A contract is only as good as the people signing it, so since you signed it, no wonder it was full of shit." Matt gets defensive again, citing the fine print in the contract and calling Hangman's claims outrageous, egregious, and preposterous. Now that Hangman's offended him, it's time to make Dark Order pay. He challenges Hangman to pick one of his Dark Order dorks to face him next week. 87% overall

Good ol' fashioned stable wars. I love it.

Segment 8: It's *gasp* the second women's match of the evening! Dr. Britt Baker faces off against Riho. Announcers mention that neither Awesome Kong nor Hikaru Shida are here tonight after their brutal Kendo Stick match on Saturday, and that this match could go a long way toward determining who will be stepping up to Kong next. Baker and Riho have themselves a solid little match that sees Reba pull a turnbuckle off the middle rope which Baker uses to slingshot Riho into and then get a cheap rollup victory. ***, 74% overall

I mean, is the chance of being the next bitch Kong murders really worth fighting over?

Segment 9: Our final match of the evening. Despite being in a war just days ago, PAC and Jon Moxley refused a night off and insisted on being booked for action tonight, and they were paired off against Eddie Kingston's right hand men The Butcher and The Blade. The overness discrepancy between the teams meant it was a pretty short write up, but Mox and PAC are so over it didn't destroy the segment rating. I imagine this was a fairly brisk, chaotic brawl ending with Mox pinning Blade following the Paradigm Shift. ***1/4, 81% overall Segment 10: Mox and PAC each grab mics after the match. Both of them want Kenny Omega. Mox still never received a rematch for the AEW World Title, and PAC not only got screwed in his opportunity but he made Omega surrender like a bitch on Saturday, so he deserves another go at it to. If Kenny doesn't agree to give them the shots they deserve, he'll need to watch his back. But perhaps Mox and PAC should've been watching their own backs as they were jumped by Kenny and "The Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. We haven't seen Karl since losing to Moxley in a tag team tables match at Revolution. The heels take advantage of the faces having lingering injuries Saturday and coming off of a physical match tonight, and the faces are left down and out. 86% overall

You busting out a fatal four-way, too?

Segment 11: "Judas" by Fozzy hits and out come the Inner Circle for what was promoted as their farewell address. Jericho explains his reasoning for disbanding the group. The Inner Circle was founded on the very first episode and for much of AEW's history they've been the most dominating faction in the company. But things have slid over the past months. He saw the infighting and the dissension in the ranks. He saw the results not coming up the way they wanted to. He threatened to break the group up two months ago, but relented and hoped he could find a way to make it work. When he made the ultimatum that it was more gold for the Inner Circle or bust, that was the final test he needed to see if the group could still thrive. He's got a lot to say to everyone in this ring. To the original members of the group - Sammy, I picked you because you reminded me of me in my mid 20s, and I can see how bright your future will be. Jake, you and I have been down the road in other places before, I know you've dabbled with MMA but I brought you hear because I knew there was so much more you could give to the wrestling business. Santana and Ortiz, I think you're going to end up being the best team in this company, and I feel like shit that I let my own ego get in the way of giving you the tag title shot you deserved. He then turns to MJF and his bodyguard Wardlow. "Max, this group all went to hell on November 7, 2020...the day I let you join the Inner Circle. We were doing fine with just the five of us, I should have my head examined for ever considering letting someone else in. Don't get me wrong, you're a hell of a talent, and I mean no disrespect - but you're an asshole. You were an asshole when you joined, a bigger asshole since you've been here, and you'll probably become an even bigger asshole in the future. And you know what? I like that about you. Sometimes you have to rub people the wrong way to get in this business. But there's no way we can continue this group without you. Look guys, I'm getting kinda schmaltzy on you all, but the point is this - we're all incredible talents. Staying together will just hold us back. I think I need to hit the road for a while and do some self-reflection, but I want you guys to start next week as a clean slate, and I know you'll make me proud. I've got some bubbly in the back for us to enjoy our last night together, but let's flip off the camera one last time for old time's sake." The group all hug it out after the finger as Judas plays again. Santana and Ortiz are the first to exit the ring and start heading up the ramp. Then Jake Hager, then Sammy Guevara. Jericho waves to the crowd from the turnbuckle, hops down, turns around, WARDLOW LEVELS HIM WITH A LARIAT! MJF then walks over the Jericho and locks him in the Salt of the Earth. The other four rush back down to the ring and back off Wardlow/MJF. It's a 4 on 2 staredown, until all of a sudden, all 6 of them start stomping a mudhole into Jericho! What in the world! Jericho eats a bunch of finishers and is left dead in the ring with the other 6 men giving him the middle finger as we go off the air. 97% overall 83% show rating

LOL @ the swerve. Is this a face turn for Jericho, though?

[Evil Vito]

Ivelisse apparently couldn't handle being on job duty for the Blood and Guts pre-show, and she has checked herself into rehab for a drinking problem.

So in her honor, tonight's results are sponsored by Ivelisse:





AEW Dark: April 6, 2021:
-Colt Cabana def. Michael Nakazawa
-Shawn Spears def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-Thunder Rosa, Big Swole, and Yuka Sakazaki def. Emi Sakura, Mel, and Diamante
-Jurassic Express def. Chaos Project
-Brian Cage def. Matt Sydal


AEW Dynamite: April 7, 2021

Segment 1:

We start the show seeing AEW TNT champion Darby Allin arriving to the ring, naturally by riding in on a skateboard. He's greeted in the parking lot by Taz, who starts talking trash. If Darby was the champion he thought he was, he'll put the TNT Title on the line against "The Machine" Brian Cage TONIGHT!

Darby agrees without hesitation but then gets jumped from behind by Cage, it was a trap! 75% overall


Segment 2:

Last week, Matt Hardy challenged any member of the Dark Order. The challenge has been answered by John Silver who had himself a nice showing as I try to showcase him a bit more. He gave Big Money Matt probably a bigger run for his money than he thought, enough so that Matt had to resort to a cheap victory via tight hook. Afterwards, Matt beats down Silver before Hangman Page and the rest of Dark Order runs in to save their friend as Matt hurries on out of there. ***, 77% overall


Segment 3:

Miro is not here tonight, but he cuts a promo from home. He's The Best Man, good looking, charismatic, dangerous in the ring, makes good money, and has a hot wife. So why is his life being made hell by a group of clowns like the Best Friends, especially that slacker Orange Cassidy? This shit can't go on much longer, the two of us will have to settle our differences once and for all real soon. 88% overall


Segment 4:

Women's World champion Awesome Kong is in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Suppose that's one extra punishment to add on to her suspension last month. Kong vanquishes her as you'd expect and collects a lock of her hair...strangely not even the first time she's had a haircut in the ring.

While she cuts Serena's hair, Dr. Britt Baker slides in for a cheap shot but Kong no-sells it and just shoots a death glare at Baker who falls on the mat in terror and rolls out of there quickly. ***, 75% overall


Segment 5:

Tag action next with the Young Bucks up against TheHybrid2 as I continue to give TH2 plenty of chances to build some overness up purely through in-ring performance. Bucks matches are the closest thing to an M-A-G level lock in terms of high match ratings, these teams killed it.

FTR, who feel they should get to jump the line ahead of Daniels and Kazarian, watch the match from the ramp again as Tully complains on commentary. FTR eventually hit the ring and try to provide a distraction but it backfires with Angelico getting a Superkick Party for his troubles.

FTR hop in and it turns into a 4 on 2 beatdown on the Bucks before Daniels and Kazarian rush in for the save. ****1/2, 91% overall


Segment 6:

The Inner Circle are out to big boos. MJF does the bulk of the mic work as he says he was selected by his peers to explain their actions from last week. Don't let any of Chris Jericho's corny, sentimental bullshit from last week fool you. He only ever created the group to achieve his own means, he was the inaugural AEW World Champion and immediately surrounded himself with promising young talent because he wanted to cling to his spot like grim death.

This group was really all about one man and one man only, and that's Chris Jericho. The group started going through a rough patch, and Jericho was too selfish and stupid to see what the problem really was: him! And that's why we heaved his fat ass out of the Inner Circle.

This will be a new Inner Circle. There is no leader, there are no ulterior motives - we are 6 hungry young men ready to step out of the spotlight of that bloated egomaniac, and we will weed out any and all has-beens in order to pave way for the future. 91% overall


Segment 7:

Next up is Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Fenix - these two men were partners a week and a half ago at Blood and Guts, and they requested a match with one another out of mutual respect. The crowd was into this match but they didn't gel as well as I'd hoped. The bandaged up Cody picks up the win after a competitive match, and the two shake hands.

Of course, here comes Eddie Kingston eager to do even more damage to Cody, the beatdown starts but Fenix hops back in to send Eddie at bay. ***, 83% overall


Segment 8:

Cody gets a mic - he's had just about enough of this. Eddie - you left me a bloody mess last week, I had to get stiches because of you, but as you can see from tonight, nothing will keep me from getting in this ring and doing what I love to do. My wounds will be healed by next week, so if you wanna take your shot one more time, here's your chance. You and me next week - first blood match! Eddie Kingston nods a sick grin of approval. 87% overall


Segment 9:

It's Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage for the TNT Title...and here's where I can laugh at the write ups again because the show is playing out very differently in my mind than it is in text. In my brain, this was yet another Team Taz set-up. A quick match where they hurl haymakers at each other for a few minutes before Powerhouse Hobbs quickly runs in for the DQ as it turns out they care more about crippling Darby than even winning the title at this point. Instead the game writes it as a 97% match quality classic

In any event, as the two big guys Cage and Hobbs are putting a hurting on Darby - lights go out - they come back in. IT'S STING! Sting is back for the first time in a month, he vowed he'd be there for Darby if he was needed again and here he is! ****1/2, 92% overall


Segment 10:

As we come back from the break, Team Taz had left the arena and Darby Allin is getting medical attention. As Sting leaves the doctor's office, he's suddenly jumped in a hail of punches and kicks. The cameras pan up to show Inner Circle standing over him! 86% overall


Segment 11:

Following last week's sneak attack, PAC and Jon Moxley requested and received a tag team match against Kenny Omega and the recently returned "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. By the end of the match, Kenny and PAC are the legal men while Mox and Anderson brawl on the outside. Mox sent into the steel steps. PAC meanwhile has Kenny down and ready for the Black Arrow, but Anderson smacks him off the top rope with a chair.

It's a rare night of back to back DQs which rarely if ever happens in AEW, but I've gotta build these feuds up dammit! Looks like Anderson will be sticking around to protect Omega from the two men gunning for his belt. ***1/2, 85% overall

84% show rating


Notes:

-I have, in fact, signed Karl Anderson to a written deal.

-I tried to convert Thunder Rosa from an open deal to a written deal but she's happy being a freelancer.

-Cody says he and Fenix don't click and requests to work with Colt Cabana. Not sure I have a storyline to get to that point but I've thrown Cody against fellow faces before so I could arrange this.

-ROH started a new show on the Comet network on Wednesday night prime time, directly competing with me. I completely trounced them on their debut episode.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Ivelisse apparently couldn't handle being on job duty for the Blood and Guts pre-show, and she has checked herself into rehab for a drinking problem. So in her honor, tonight's results are sponsored by Ivelisse:

That ass though....

The only Ivelisse I'm familiar with in regards to wrestling is that one from Tough Enough way back when. That can't be the same one, right?

AEW Dark: April 6, 2021: -Colt Cabana def. Michael Nakazawa -Shawn Spears def. Brian Pillman Jr. -Thunder Rosa, Big Swole, and Yuka Sakazaki def. Emi Sakura, Mel, and Diamante -Jurassic Express def. Chaos Project -Brian Cage def. Matt Sydal

If it were me I'd do an angle where Brian Pillman, Jr. convinces Dakota to turn on her dad and uncle and join her as his half-sibling as he vows to finish what his dad started. Although I can see how SOME PEOPLE would view that in bad taste.

AEW Dynamite: April 7, 2021 Segment 1: We start the show seeing AEW TNT champion Darby Allin arriving to the ring, naturally by riding in on a skateboard. He's greeted in the parking lot by Taz, who starts talking trash. If Darby was the champion he thought he was, he'll put the TNT Title on the line against "The Machine" Brian Cage TONIGHT! Darby agrees without hesitation but then gets jumped from behind by Cage, it was a trap! 75% overall

God damn it, Admiral Ackbar, you have ONE JOB!!!

Segment 2: Last week, Matt Hardy challenged any member of the Dark Order. The challenge has been answered by John Silver who had himself a nice showing as I try to showcase him a bit more. He gave Big Money Matt probably a bigger run for his money than he thought, enough so that Matt had to resort to a cheap victory via tight hook. Afterwards, Matt beats down Silver before Hangman Page and the rest of Dark Order runs in to save their friend as Matt hurries on out of there. ***, 77% overall

I'm impressed that Matt can still bring the goods all things considered. I can only assume things got better for him in the last 5 or so years?

Segment 3: Miro is not here tonight, but he cuts a promo from home. He's The Best Man, good looking, charismatic, dangerous in the ring, makes good money, and has a hot wife. So why is his life being made hell by a group of clowns like the Best Friends, especially that slacker Orange Cassidy? This shit can't go on much longer, the two of us will have to settle our differences once and for all real soon. 88% overall

Pfft, I'LL be judge of whether or not his wife is hot.

Segment 4: Women's World champion Awesome Kong is in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Suppose that's one extra punishment to add on to her suspension last month. Kong vanquishes her as you'd expect and collects a lock of her hair...strangely not even the first time she's had a haircut in the ring. While she cuts Serena's hair, Dr. Britt Baker slides in for a cheap shot but Kong no-sells it and just shoots a death glare at Baker who falls on the mat in terror and rolls out of there quickly. ***, 75% overall

LOL @ Baker watching her life flash before her eyes.

Segment 5: Tag action next with the Young Bucks up against TheHybrid2 as I continue to give TH2 plenty of chances to build some overness up purely through in-ring performance. Bucks matches are the closest thing to an M-A-G level lock in terms of high match ratings, these teams killed it. FTR, who feel they should get to jump the line ahead of Daniels and Kazarian, watch the match from the ramp again as Tully complains on commentary. FTR eventually hit the ring and try to provide a distraction but it backfires with Angelico getting a Superkick Party for his troubles. FTR hop in and it turns into a 4 on 2 beatdown on the Bucks before Daniels and Kazarian rush in for the save. ****1/2, 91% overall

Kazarian & Daniels vs. The Young Bucks alone should bring in a healthy snowflake rating if that's where you're going with them and it'd be one hell of a sendoff for Daniels.

Segment 6: The Inner Circle are out to big boos. MJF does the bulk of the mic work as he says he was selected by his peers to explain their actions from last week. Don't let any of Chris Jericho's corny, sentimental bullshit from last week fool you. He only ever created the group to achieve his own means, he was the inaugural AEW World Champion and immediately surrounded himself with promising young talent because he wanted to cling to his spot like grim death. This group was really all about one man and one man only, and that's Chris Jericho. The group started going through a rough patch, and Jericho was too selfish and stupid to see what the problem really was: him! And that's why we heaved his fat ass out of the Inner Circle. This will be a new Inner Circle. There is no leader, there are no ulterior motives - we are 6 hungry young men ready to step out of the spotlight of that bloated egomaniac, and we will weed out any and all has-beens in order to pave way for the future. 91% overall

Love it. The missing cherry would have been Jericho being called a 'skinny' fat ass but I suppose that probably wouldn't actually apply.

Segment 7: Next up is Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Fenix - these two men were partners a week and a half ago at Blood and Guts, and they requested a match with one another out of mutual respect. The crowd was into this match but they didn't gel as well as I'd hoped. The bandaged up Cody picks up the win after a competitive match, and the two shake hands. Of course, here comes Eddie Kingston eager to do even more damage to Cody, the beatdown starts but Fenix hops back in to send Eddie at bay. ***, 83% overall

Hey, with 3 stars that's gelling well enough to get you over the bar. If no one's complaining it shouldn't deter you.

Segment 8: Cody gets a mic - he's had just about enough of this. Eddie - you left me a bloody mess last week, I had to get stiches because of you, but as you can see from tonight, nothing will keep me from getting in this ring and doing what I love to do. My wounds will be healed by next week, so if you wanna take your shot one more time, here's your chance. You and me next week - first blood match! Eddie Kingston nods a sick grin of approval. 87% overall

***SQUEAL!!!***



Wait, was that plan all along or did you go by what I said the last time around?

Segment 9: It's Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage for the TNT Title...and here's where I can laugh at the write ups again because the show is playing out very differently in my mind than it is in text. In my brain, this was yet another Team Taz set-up. A quick match where they hurl haymakers at each other for a few minutes before Powerhouse Hobbs quickly runs in for the DQ as it turns out they care more about crippling Darby than even winning the title at this point. Instead the game writes it as a 97% match quality classic In any event, as the two big guys Cage and Hobbs are putting a hurting on Darby - lights go out - they come back in. IT'S STING! Sting is back for the first time in a month, he vowed he'd be there for Darby if he was needed again and here he is! ****1/2, 92% overall

Hey, take it if you can get it. Sadly, I guess we're seeing the beginning of the end for Sting.

Segment 10: As we come back from the break, Team Taz had left the arena and Darby Allin is getting medical attention. As Sting leaves the doctor's office, he's suddenly jumped in a hail of punches and kicks. The cameras pan up to show Inner Circle standing over him! 86% overall

I'm pretty sure Sting said something about MJF's mother, it just wasn't picked up on the audio.

Segment 11: Following last week's sneak attack, PAC and Jon Moxley requested and received a tag team match against Kenny Omega and the recently returned "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. By the end of the match, Kenny and PAC are the legal men while Mox and Anderson brawl on the outside. Mox sent into the steel steps. PAC meanwhile has Kenny down and ready for the Black Arrow, but Anderson smacks him off the top rope with a chair. It's a rare night of back to back DQs which rarely if ever happens in AEW, but I've gotta build these feuds up dammit! Looks like Anderson will be sticking around to protect Omega from the two men gunning for his belt. ***1/2, 85% overall 84% show rating

I remember in my first ever game I had made a vow to never do DQs because I always thought it was lame but sometimes you get yourself into a corner and it's like, well, they're there for a reason.

Notes: -I have, in fact, signed Karl Anderson to a written deal. -I tried to convert Thunder Rosa from an open deal to a written deal but she's happy being a freelancer. -Cody says he and Fenix don't click and requests to work with Colt Cabana. Not sure I have a storyline to get to that point but I've thrown Cody against fellow faces before so I could arrange this. -ROH started a new show on the Comet network on Wednesday night prime time, directly competing with me. I completely trounced them on their debut episode.

LOL, middle fingers to the competition. I honestly can't recall the last time another promotion had a network show in my universe. Thunder Rosa better get with the program. There's only so much she can get with a cute smile and an ass that won't quit. Well, she can get a lot but still.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G That ass though.... The only Ivelisse I'm familiar with in regards to wrestling is that one from Tough Enough way back when. That can't be the same one, right?

It is, in fact, the same one. She ended up having a good run in Mexico and Lucha Underground before returning to the States.[/quote]

If it were me I'd do an angle where Brian Pillman, Jr. convinces Dakota to turn on her dad and uncle and join her as his half-sibling as he vows to finish what his dad started. Although I can see how SOME PEOPLE would view that in bad taste.

no lie if Pillman develops enough I'd love to throw him at Cody eventually. Dustin I just realized turns 52 this month so knowing EWR he will be the next guy to head to non-wrestler land when the calendar switches to May 1st.

I'm impressed that Matt can still bring the goods all things considered. I can only assume things got better for him in the last 5 or so years?

He took a year or so off healing up injuries and his body seems nowhere near as worse for wear down as Jeff's. But the main thing with Matt has always been his character work, including a stint as "Broken" Matt Hardy which caused massive arguments on TPWW with people either finding it to be completely brilliant or fucking stupid, with no real space in between. Count me in with the former, I love "out there" gimmicks.

Pfft, I'LL be judge of whether or not his wife is hot.

Hmmm...there ARE Lana nudes on the internet I believe.

Kazarian & Daniels vs. The Young Bucks alone should bring in a healthy snowflake rating if that's where you're going with them and it'd be one hell of a sendoff for Daniels.

Yeah that's where I'm likely to go with this story, it'll be fun working around his inability to wrestle on TV during the program but it's doable.

[quote]Wait, was that plan all along or did you go by what I said the last time around?

It was in the cards. My feuds are steadily getting ready to be blown off and I think the in-game feud system punishes you if you don't end the feud in a gimmick match.

[Evil Vito]

Tonight's results are sponsored by Allie:



AEW Dark: April 13, 2021:
-Luchasaurus def. Billy
-FTR def. Matt Sydal and Brian Pillman Jr.
-Kris Statlander def. Leva Bates
-Orange Cassidy def. Serpentico
-MJF def. Dustin Rhodes


AEW Dynamite: April 14, 2021

Segment 1:

10-man tag pandemonium to kick us off as the Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager, Wardlow, Santana and Ortiz) take on a face team of Jurassic Express and Bad Romance. It's not a squash as the face team aren't exactly slouches, but the focus of the match is to show the Inner Circle being a cohesive unit and putting together a nice win in the process. Marko Stunt takes a Street Sweeper and sells it like hell in the loss. ***, 74% overall


Segment 2:

MJF gets on the mic and talks up the Inner Circle's big win. He then moves to address they're actions from last week. Sting, I know you're probably watching me from your retirement home, but you're exactly who we were talking about when we pledged to rid AEW of its has-beens. We were actually going to do the noble thing and challenge you to a match at Crossroads, but when we saw your geriatric ass up close and personal we decided to just take you out of your misery then and there. Trust us, we did you a big favor.

The lights go out, thunder claps, the lights flash and the lights pan up to reveal Sting in the rafters, bat in hand. He points it at the Inner Circle and they're irate that Sting is still standing. 86% overall


Segment 3:

Former women's champion Hikaru Shida is back in action against Allie who is making a rare in-ring appearance. She's actually a fairly decent wrestler, in real-life she's almost exclusively a manager at this point and I can only surmise she either picked up an injury somewhere or it's a personal choice. But be that as it may, Shida's trying to get herself back into winning ways.

Dr. Britt Baker joins commentary and accuses Shida of trying to jump the line, she lost the title, she needs to go to the back. Eventually she tries to run interference and it backfires, Shida gets the win. Britt runs in and clocks Shida only for Awesome Kong to emerge from the back. The heels run off, Kong is a heel herself but ran in to save Shida because she detests Britt just as much. ***, 78% overall


Segment 4:

Intergender (and interspecies?) trios match with Miro, Kip Sabian, and Penelope Ford facing Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and "The Galaxy's Greatest Alien" Kris Statlander. During this match it gets announced that Miro vs. Orange Cassidy in a steel cage match was signed for Crossroads, to settle their differences one on one once and for all.

Orange is a chill guy. Miro, not so much. He had no chill whatsoever in this match. The men were brawling on the outside, Kris was setting up Penelope for her finisher in the ring, Miro find an opening and Sambo kicks Kris right in the jaw to enormous heat drawing huge reprimand from JR on commentary. Penelope covers and heels get the win. **3/4, 73% overall


Segment 5:

Kenny Omega is backstage with Karl Anderson and Don Callis. Callis rags about Tony Khan being a terrible boss with no clue on how to run a business, because he's booked the World champion and best wrestler in the world in an unfair triple threat title defense against Moxley and PAC at Crossroads.

You think this is gonna be just a talking segment? Think again. Moxley and PAC both enter from other sides of the room and start taking it to Omega and Anderson. Furniture is thrown and amidst the fracas Callis manages to pull Kenny out and they both take off, leaving poor Karl to take most of the beating. Mox and PAC eventually have a tense staredown as their recent alliance is going to have to come to an end at Crossroads. 88% overall and Karl Anderson once again gains overness from being in a segment as 3 of the most over workers on the roster


Segment 6:

Singles action between Frankie Kazarian and Dax Harwood of FTR. A nice little old school bout between the two veterans with a good mix of brawling and technical. Cash eventually blindsides Daniels on the outside, which throws Kazarian off his game and leaves him prey to a cheap rollup with a tight hook from Dax for the win.

Daniels eventually recovers and hops in to run off FTR. Tully Blanchard says FTR are the best tag team in the world and if you can't even beat them separately, how can you beat them together? If SCU had any stones, they'd put their #1 contendership on the line next week. SCU nod and the match is set for next week. Yeah I just combined a challenge segment into this in my brain because I only had 11 to work with. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 7:

Young Bucks promo. They're asked if they have a preference over who they'll face at Crossroads and like every promo ever, they confirm that no, they'll be ready no matter who it is. Just a promo really, had to toss the Bucks on here because main event level guys lose morale if I don't use them within 3 shows and they don't often work Dark. Miiiiight need to go back to using my hack of turning the main event guys into managers so they won't get as fussy about working constantly. 89% overall


Segment 8:

Tag match up next with Hangman Page teaming with Colt Cabana against Private Party, accompanied by Big Money Matt Hardy. Quite a good match, Private Party still aren't quite over enough to generate big overall ratings but it was a 90% quality bout so let the snowflakes keep on coming. Hangman is on the apron, setting up for the Buckshot Lariat but Matt eventually pulls him off the apron and starts wailing on him, forcing a DQ.

As is normally the case in the numbers game now, the Hardy Party have to flee when Dark Order show up but Page isn't satisfied with that. He takes a mic "Matt, I'm sick of us having to dance this dance every week. You and I have to settle this once and for all. Double or Nothing isn't until next month, but I can't wait until then. Crossroads, you and me, double or nothing for our first 6 months of earnings. Whatever fine print bullshit you want to put in the contract, it doesn't matter anymore, it's worth the money just to kick your ass all around the bulding." ***1/2, 81% overall


Segment 9:

AEW obtained some disturbing footage of Darby Allin being jumped by Team Taz outside of his home in Seattle earlier this week, apparently they've now resorted to attacking him far away from the arena to avoid anyone else from coming to help him. Taz tells Darby the beatings won't stop until he gives Brian Cage the TNT Title shot he deserves.


Segment 10:

Our main event of the evening sees Cody Rhodes and Eddie Kingston blow off their feud in a First Blood match. Cody's bled plenty the past couple of weeks, and the psychology of the match is that his freshly healed stitched up forehead is a prime target. Eddie gets some brass knuckles, loads up and looks ready to deliver the final blow....spinning backfirst but WAIT! He didn't see Cody had a pipe in his hand. Cody blocks the backfist with the pipe, Eddie screams in pain after hitting a lead pipe with the brass knucks, Cody then hits a clean pipe shot to the help and Kingston is busted wide the fuck open! ***1/4, 88% overall


Segment 11:

Cody celebrates his win and starts heading up the ramp as Kingston slowly comes to in the ring. Cody has a microphone "Eddie, you're a tough bastard, and have given me all I could handle these past couple of months.

You may have been busted open tonight, but TRUST ME, it's about to get a lot worse for you. But the pain won't last forever...because everybody dies.



Well worth clicking that link, that theme fucking rules so hard. It's "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer with his manager Jake "The Snake" Roberts! Eddie Kingston and his Family put them on the shelf months ago, and now it's time to pay. Archer hits the ring and plants the bloody Kingston with a boot as Dynamite goes off the air. 81% overall rating

81% show rating

---

Notes:

-Matt Jackson wants to work with Matt Hardy.

-PAC requests to work with Kenny Omega. Are you even paying attention to the show you're on???

-I kill ROH again, don't see that changing anytime soon.

-Crossroads is 10 days away. Well that crept up fast, if it sounds like I'm throwing the card together haphazardly it's because I kinda am. I'm so not used to trying to book a big monthly show after two years of watching AEW with their 4 PPVs a year.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Allie:

Ugh...cosplayers... Sorry, it's a personal thing.

AEW Dark: April 13, 2021: -Luchasaurus def. Billy -FTR def. Matt Sydal and Brian Pillman Jr. -Kris Statlander def. Leva Bates -Orange Cassidy def. Serpentico -MJF def. Dustin Rhodes

I'm picturing the Statlander/Bates match as a contest of who has the most outrageous outfit.

AEW Dynamite: April 14, 2021 Segment 1: 10-man tag pandemonium to kick us off as the Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager, Wardlow, Santana and Ortiz) take on a face team of Jurassic Express and Bad Romance. It's not a squash as the face team aren't exactly slouches, but the focus of the match is to show the Inner Circle being a cohesive unit and putting together a nice win in the process. Marko Stunt takes a Street Sweeper and sells it like hell in the loss. ***, 74% overall Segment 2: MJF gets on the mic and talks up the Inner Circle's big win. He then moves to address they're actions from last week. Sting, I know you're probably watching me from your retirement home, but you're exactly who we were talking about when we pledged to rid AEW of its has-beens. We were actually going to do the noble thing and challenge you to a match at Crossroads, but when we saw your geriatric ass up close and personal we decided to just take you out of your misery then and there. Trust us, we did you a big favor. The lights go out, thunder claps, the lights flash and the lights pan up to reveal Sting in the rafters, bat in hand. He points it at the Inner Circle and they're irate that Sting is still standing. 86% overall

Opening match multi-man is goodness is just as fun as main event multi-man goodness. That's a sweet promo that basically comes down to "your mere presence and existence pisses me off" which is always funny.

Segment 3: Former women's champion Hikaru Shida is back in action against Allie who is making a rare in-ring appearance. She's actually a fairly decent wrestler, in real-life she's almost exclusively a manager at this point and I can only surmise she either picked up an injury somewhere or it's a personal choice. But be that as it may, Shida's trying to get herself back into winning ways. Dr. Britt Baker joins commentary and accuses Shida of trying to jump the line, she lost the title, she needs to go to the back. Eventually she tries to run interference and it backfires, Shida gets the win. Britt runs in and clocks Shida only for Awesome Kong to emerge from the back. The heels run off, Kong is a heel herself but ran in to save Shida because she detests Britt just as much. ***, 78% overall

Come on, who could hate a face like this?

Segment 4: Intergender (and interspecies?) trios match with Miro, Kip Sabian, and Penelope Ford facing Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and "The Galaxy's Greatest Alien" Kris Statlander. During this match it gets announced that Miro vs. Orange Cassidy in a steel cage match was signed for Crossroads, to settle their differences one on one once and for all. Orange is a chill guy. Miro, not so much. He had no chill whatsoever in this match. The men were brawling on the outside, Kris was setting up Penelope for her finisher in the ring, Miro find an opening and Sambo kicks Kris right in the jaw to enormous heat drawing huge reprimand from JR on commentary. Penelope covers and heels get the win. **3/4, 73% overall

I laughed at the description of both guys' chill factor which prompted me to demand a stat for a worker's level of chillness. Like, RVD would be a 100 no question. Also, props on the balls to let a woman take a shot like that. I'm sure Twitter and tumblr will have no comment on that.

Segment 5: Kenny Omega is backstage with Karl Anderson and Don Callis. Callis rags about Tony Khan being a terrible boss with no clue on how to run a business, because he's booked the World champion and best wrestler in the world in an unfair triple threat title defense against Moxley and PAC at Crossroads. You think this is gonna be just a talking segment? Think again. Moxley and PAC both enter from other sides of the room and start taking it to Omega and Anderson. Furniture is thrown and amidst the fracas Callis manages to pull Kenny out and they both take off, leaving poor Karl to take most of the beating. Mox and PAC eventually have a tense staredown as their recent alliance is going to have to come to an end at Crossroads. 88% overall and Karl Anderson once again gains overness from being in a segment as 3 of the most over workers on the roster

"Callis rags about Tony Khan being a terrible boss with no clue on how to run a business..." IT'S A SHOOT, BABY!!! I love it when a heel just abandons one of their own just to save their own ass. It makes it even more hilarious that Anderson got more over by getting his ass beat.

Segment 6: Singles action between Frankie Kazarian and Dax Harwood of FTR. A nice little old school bout between the two veterans with a good mix of brawling and technical. Cash eventually blindsides Daniels on the outside, which throws Kazarian off his game and leaves him prey to a cheap rollup with a tight hook from Dax for the win. Daniels eventually recovers and hops in to run off FTR. Tully Blanchard says FTR are the best tag team in the world and if you can't even beat them separately, how can you beat them together? If SCU had any stones, they'd put their #1 contendership on the line next week. SCU nod and the match is set for next week. Yeah I just combined a challenge segment into this in my brain because I only had 11 to work with. ***1/4, 81% overall

Well you do what you have to do considering Daniels' situation. I imagine something will go down that will take him out of the picture leaving Kazarian on his own?

Segment 7: Young Bucks promo. They're asked if they have a preference over who they'll face at Crossroads and like every promo ever, they confirm that no, they'll be ready no matter who it is. Just a promo really, had to toss the Bucks on here because main event level guys lose morale if I don't use them within 3 shows and they don't often work Dark. Miiiiight need to go back to using my hack of turning the main event guys into managers so they won't get as fussy about working constantly. 89% overall

I'm actually surprised that they made it that easy to give somebody a manager's status considering the hoops you had to jump through for the last game. Of course they made up for it with a bunch of other headaches but that's neither here nor there.

Segment 8: Tag match up next with Hangman Page teaming with Colt Cabana against Private Party, accompanied by Big Money Matt Hardy. Quite a good match, Private Party still aren't quite over enough to generate big overall ratings but it was a 90% quality bout so let the snowflakes keep on coming. Hangman is on the apron, setting up for the Buckshot Lariat but Matt eventually pulls him off the apron and starts wailing on him, forcing a DQ. As is normally the case in the numbers game now, the Hardy Party have to flee when Dark Order show up but Page isn't satisfied with that. He takes a mic "Matt, I'm sick of us having to dance this dance every week. You and I have to settle this once and for all. Double or Nothing isn't until next month, but I can't wait until then. Crossroads, you and me, double or nothing for our first 6 months of earnings. Whatever fine print bullshit you want to put in the contract, it doesn't matter anymore, it's worth the money just to kick your ass all around the bulding." ***1/2, 81% overall

Surely there will be one big Dark Order vs. Hardy Party bruhahah at some point right?

Segment 9: AEW obtained some disturbing footage of Darby Allin being jumped by Team Taz outside of his home in Seattle earlier this week, apparently they've now resorted to attacking him far away from the arena to avoid anyone else from coming to help him. Taz tells Darby the beatings won't stop until he gives Brian Cage the TNT Title shot he deserves.

LOL, that's a long way to go for an ass kicking. That's like George Costanza levels of pettiness. I love it.

Segment 10: Our main event of the evening sees Cody Rhodes and Eddie Kingston blow off their feud in a First Blood match. Cody's bled plenty the past couple of weeks, and the psychology of the match is that his freshly healed stitched up forehead is a prime target. Eddie gets some brass knuckles, loads up and looks ready to deliver the final blow....spinning backfirst but WAIT! He didn't see Cody had a pipe in his hand. Cody blocks the backfist with the pipe, Eddie screams in pain after hitting a lead pipe with the brass knucks, Cody then hits a clean pipe shot to the help and Kingston is busted wide the fuck open! ***1/4, 88% overall Segment 11: Cody celebrates his win and starts heading up the ramp as Kingston slowly comes to in the ring. Cody has a microphone "Eddie, you're a tough bastard, and have given me all I could handle these past couple of months. You may have been busted open tonight, but TRUST ME, it's about to get a lot worse for you. But the pain won't last forever...because everybody dies. Well worth clicking that link, that theme fucking rules so hard. It's "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer with his manager Jake "The Snake" Roberts! Eddie Kingston and his Family put them on the shelf months ago, and now it's time to pay. Archer hits the ring and plants the bloody Kingston with a boot as Dynamite goes off the air. 81% overall rating 81% show rating

Getting busted open and then beatdown by someone else who wasn't even in the match? There's just no need for that level of excessiveness!

Notes: -Matt Jackson wants to work with Matt Hardy. -PAC requests to work with Kenny Omega. Are you even paying attention to the show you're on??? -I kill ROH again, don't see that changing anytime soon. -Crossroads is 10 days away. Well that crept up fast, if it sounds like I'm throwing the card together haphazardly it's because I kinda am. I'm so not used to trying to book a big monthly show after two years of watching AEW with their 4 PPVs a year.

Yeah, I hate those emails where the workers look like they're essentially clueless as to what I've been doing. "Hey, I'd like to work with Faith Connors at some point!" YOU JUST DID AN ANGLE WHERE YOU WERE BEATING HER DOWN!!! "Ben Dillinger and Joey Dillinger blend really well as a team and it adds a lot to their matches probably due to their similar styles". THEY'VE BEEN A TEAM FOR GOD DAMN EVER AND HAVE A 100 TEAM RATING!!!

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Ugh...cosplayers... Sorry, it's a personal thing.

If it’s any consolation I’m 95% sure Allie also has nudes out there but you might be paid a visit by the Butcher and the Blade

laughed at the description of both guys' chill factor which prompted me to demand a stat for a worker's level of chillness. Like, RVD would be a 100 no question. Also, props on the balls to let a woman take a shot like that. I'm sure Twitter and tumblr will have no comment on that.

they might have to change the ratings just for RVD to give him 420 chill

And yeah, there’s a segment of IWC fandom that really enjoy inter gender wrestling as some indy feds have pulled it off successfully, but I think in a national promotion it’d be tough to do except in certain scenarios. You need a woman who can believably be booked against men. Kong is a choice obviously and has done it in TNA, Nyla Rose who I haven’t booked yet as I’ve been trying to find the right way to bring her back is a transwoman with a similar build to Kong. Past them, Kris Stat has done it on the indies and could pull it off, she’s like 5’9” which is tall for a woman, and a pretty thick (or thicc?) build.

LOL, that's a long way to go for an ass kicking. That's like George Costanza levels of pettiness. I love it.

You know, other than Blood and Guys I never stopped to think on where these others shows are being held. I’ve established that the pandemic is over and Dynamite can be on the road again, so I’d hope they’re out west this week....but given that I imagine Darby living on the rural outskirts in the middle of nowhere, yeah very petty

Getting busted open and then beatdown by someone else who wasn't even in the match? There's just no need for that level of excessiveness!

It is kind of a role reversal deal where the faces kinda look like dicks in the end but I think there’s a fine line between “faces are dicks for kicking a man when he’s down” and “faces are giving the asshole heel his long due comeuppance

[Evil Vito]

Tonight's results are sponsored by Reba (Britt Baker's manager, went by Rebel in TNA which produced this gem):



AEW Dark: April 20, 2021:
-The Butcher and The Blade def. QT Marshall and Billy
-Serena Deeb def. Mel
-Matt Sydal def. Serpentico
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki
-Matt Hardy def. Evil Uno


AEW Dynamite: April 21, 2021

Segment 1:

MJF opened up the show in the ring, surprisingly all by his lonesome, and he immediately started to shit talk Sting again. The old fool has agreed to fight me at Crossroads, but why wait til Saturday? Bring your old ass out here now, unless you're afraid of getting schooled by a guy 30 years your junior.

After no answer, MJF needles him further by raising the stakes. "I know you liked to make a name for yourself taking down top factions...so how's this for a wager? Remember how our former "boss" of the Inner Circle threatened to break up the group and couldn't back it up? If you win, I will leave the Inner Circle just as soon as I entered it. But if you lose, you're done. No more wrestling, no more AEW, a distant memory like the charred ashes of WCW. If you're gonna take this deal, come face me one on one, you coward!"

Lights go out and when they come back on, in my best Tony Schiavone voice, it's Stiiiiiiing! He nods at MJF to accept the challenge, points the bat right to his throat. And then, in a sign that he's ready for a fair fight, drops the bat.

MJF just laughs "wow, all these years later, you are way too trusting".....and Sting is soon jumped by Sammy Guevara! Massive heel heat and the two put the boots to Sting before Sammy's opponent tonight, Cody Rhodes, emerges from the back to run the two of them off! The rest of Inner Circle make their way out but think better of intervening when Sting retrieves his bat again. 82% overall


Segment 2:

Lance Archer makes his in-ring return against 33 year ring veteran and former Japanese deathmatch legend Luther. Luther is ancient and probably another guy the game will retire once his birthday comes, so he's just here to put over others and this is another case where I threw two guys with good brawl stats at each other and imagined it as a squash but actually it ended up being a solid match.

Archer puts Luther down with the EBD Claw to win his return match after a few months on the shelf. Eddie Kingston on commentary runs Archer down, and builds up their clash for next week on Dynamite. ***, 73% overall


Segment 3:

We hear a commotion outside of SCU's locker room. Tully Blanchard leads out FTR and Shawn Spears, all of whom have smug looks on their faces. The cameras go inside and we see Christopher Daniels down along with fellow SCU member Scorpio Sky. Daniels was supposed to team with Frankie Kazarian tonight for #1 contendership - bah gawd how could this happen! 69% overall...nice


Segment 4:

6-man tag goodness to continue the Hardy/Page angle that is winding down to a conclusion. Matt Hardy and Private Party vs. Hangman Page, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver. Another good match as many of these guys gel with one another. Chaos ensues as always and Matt grabs a win via cheap pin on Reynolds. ***, 73% overall


Segment 5:

Hardy Party beat down the three Dark Order members in the ring. Matt proclaims that the rest of Dark Order won't be coming out to save them tonight as he paid off a venue worker to block their locker room...it pays to have money! Muahaha. Remember how you allowed me to pick the rules for our Double or Nothing match? I know you were worried about fine print, but fear no longer. The winner takes all, no matter how they win. No underhanded tactics, no easy way out, a perfectly fair fight between the two of us. And I have procured a very special guest referee to ensure it! 82% overall


Segment 6:

Dr. Britt Baker DMD in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Worst match of the night so far, but very much still in the realm of perfectly acceptable wrestling. Baker gets the cheap victory. Afterwards, she instructs Reba to hand her some...shears? Why does dentist need shears? She looks like she's going to take off some of Serena's hair just as Kong did to her two weeks ago.

Awesome Kong could see no more of the gimmick infringement as she makes her way out to the ring. Baker and Reba stare down Kong, Baker shoves Reba at Kong and Reba takes a Samoan drop like a trooper while Baker hightails it again. **1/2, 70% overall


Segment 7:

Kenny Omega and Don Callis interview promo to talk up Kenny's triple threat title defense on Saturday. No matter how much AEW tries to stack the odds up against the best wrestler in the world, the result will be the same: Kenny will be right back on top of the mountain by this time next week. 83% overall


Segment 8:

Tag match intersecting two feuds that are also reaching a conclusion on Saturday as Orange Cassidy and TNT Champion Darby Allin face off against Miro and Brian Cage. A cage match and a street fight happening the same night on Saturday - what is this, Extreme Rules? I imagine the faces came across as great underdogs in this one since they have a clear and distinct size disadvantage working against them.

Darby eventually makes the hot tag to Orange Cassidy, who comes in like a house of fire as the crowd goes wild. Miro is reeling outside the ring, OC sets up for a Superman Punch outside the ring...he charges, MIRO SMACKS HIM WITH THE RING BELL! The ref calls for the bell, which doesn't ring because it's embedded into OC's skull.

Chuck Taylor tries to help but it's all for naught as OC, Darby, and Chuck are beaten down by Miro, Kip, and Team Taz. The heels standing tall and getting the momentum going into Saturday. This ruled. ****, 86% overall


Segment 9:

FTR make their way to the ring to win their match and rightful earned #1 contendership by forfeit...Frankie Kazarian says not so fast and makes his way out to the ring solo. He had a chat with Tony Khan and he agreed the #1 contendership can't end this way. Since neither Daniels nor Sky can compete tonight, let's change it up and make it a 6-man tag. FTR and Shawn Spears vs. Frankie Kazarian and...The Young Bucks!

The heel team was not happy with that at all as the faces charge the ring like a house of fire. This ended up being my second good trios match of the night, Bucks showing character willing to fight alongside Kazarian knowing that he'd be getting screwed out of a shot at their belts.

Bucks and FTR are brawling outside the ring. Tully Blanchard gets on the apron and starts to undo a turnbuckle pad only for a hobbled Christopher Daniels to pull Tully off the apron! Spears is caught off guard, Wave of the Future! Kazarian wins and he and Daniels retain their #1 contendership! The heel team is pissed off as SCU and the Bucks exchange a handshake ahead of their match Saturday. ***1/4, 82% overall


Segment 10:

Jon Moxley and PAC are talking, acknowledging they've had fun teaming up the past couple of months but that's all gotta end Saturday. Kenny Omega and Karl Anderson enter both sides of the room much as Mox and PAC did last week. Mox and PAC both pick up chairs and dare the heels to come on in...they back into each other and immediately turn around out of instinct, they nearly clock each other with the chairs as the heels rush out of there snickering over causing tension among the faces. 89% overall


Segment 11:

Cody Rhodes vs. Sammy Guevara in a rematch of what was the first ever match on Dynamite. During the match it is confirmed that Sting's Career Threatening Match on Saturday has been upgraded to a tag team bout: Sting and Cody vs. MJF and Sammy. Cody wants to drive MJF out of Inner Circle and could not stand to see the Stinger go it alone against the devious Inner Circle. Plus I'm sure this decision has nothing to do with the fact that a 62-year old Sting should not be working a singles match and Cody can shoulder the workload and play a convincing Ricky Morton.

It's a solid match to close out the show, with a red hot crowd to boot. We get our second "heel fuck up interference" finish in as many matches as MJF climbs on the apron to distract Cody only for Sting to come OUTTA NOWHERE with a baseball bat shot to the back, MJF is down, Sammy is concerned and Cody capitalizes with the Cross Rhodes.

Much like at the start of the show, Inner Circle are held at bay with with threat of Sting's bat. The faces stand tall to end the show. ***, 85% overall

79% overall show rating

---

Crossroads Card:

-AEW World Championship: "The Bastard" PAC vs. Jon Moxley vs. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega (C)

-AEW TNT Championship Street Fight: "The Machine" Brian Cage vs. Darby Allin (C)

-AEW World Tag Team Championship: SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. The Young Bucks (C)

-AEW Women's World Championship: Dr. Britt Baker DMD vs. Awesome Kong (C)

-Luchas de Apuestas Tag Match: Sting and "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman and "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara

-Steel Cage Match: "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy vs. "The Best Man" Miro

-Double or Nothing Special Guest Referee Match: "Big Money" Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Reba (Britt Baker's manager, went by Rebel in TNA which produced this gem):

You know, I was going to say something about not being able to see her face but for some reason or two I lost my train of thought....

AEW Dark: April 20, 2021: -The Butcher and The Blade def. QT Marshall and Billy -Serena Deeb def. Mel -Matt Sydal def. Serpentico -Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki -Matt Hardy def. Evil Uno

Butcher and Blade is such a sweet name. I bet they throw wicked chops.

AEW Dynamite: April 21, 2021 Segment 1: MJF opened up the show in the ring, surprisingly all by his lonesome, and he immediately started to shit talk Sting again. The old fool has agreed to fight me at Crossroads, but why wait til Saturday? Bring your old ass out here now, unless you're afraid of getting schooled by a guy 30 years your junior. After no answer, MJF needles him further by raising the stakes. "I know you liked to make a name for yourself taking down top factions...so how's this for a wager? Remember how our former "boss" of the Inner Circle threatened to break up the group and couldn't back it up? If you win, I will leave the Inner Circle just as soon as I entered it. But if you lose, you're done. No more wrestling, no more AEW, a distant memory like the charred ashes of WCW. If you're gonna take this deal, come face me one on one, you coward!" Lights go out and when they come back on, in my best Tony Schiavone voice, it's Stiiiiiiing! He nods at MJF to accept the challenge, points the bat right to his throat. And then, in a sign that he's ready for a fair fight, drops the bat. MJF just laughs "wow, all these years later, you are way too trusting".....and Sting is soon jumped by Sammy Guevara! Massive heel heat and the two put the boots to Sting before Sammy's opponent tonight, Cody Rhodes, emerges from the back to run the two of them off! The rest of Inner Circle make their way out but think better of intervening when Sting retrieves his bat again. 82% overall

LOL, Sting's reputation for being a dumb babyface still persists after all of these years. Sadly we inch closer and closer to the inevitable.

Segment 2: Lance Archer makes his in-ring return against 33 year ring veteran and former Japanese deathmatch legend Luther. Luther is ancient and probably another guy the game will retire once his birthday comes, so he's just here to put over others and this is another case where I threw two guys with good brawl stats at each other and imagined it as a squash but actually it ended up being a solid match. Archer puts Luther down with the EBD Claw to win his return match after a few months on the shelf. Eddie Kingston on commentary runs Archer down, and builds up their clash for next week on Dynamite. ***, 73% overall

I wish the game had the option to select a squash for a given match that way it's reflected in the match report. Of course, I would have abused it to no end by having Chris Jericho go over HHH for weeks on end in that fashion.

Segment 3: We hear a commotion outside of SCU's locker room. Tully Blanchard leads out FTR and Shawn Spears, all of whom have smug looks on their faces. The cameras go inside and we see Christopher Daniels down along with fellow SCU member Scorpio Sky. Daniels was supposed to team with Frankie Kazarian tonight for #1 contendership - bah gawd how could this happen! 69% overall...nice

Yeah, getting less than a 70% is painful. As long as no one loses any over points, that's a small comfort I suppose.

Segment 4: 6-man tag goodness to continue the Hardy/Page angle that is winding down to a conclusion. Matt Hardy and Private Party vs. Hangman Page, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver. Another good match as many of these guys gel with one another. Chaos ensues as always and Matt grabs a win via cheap pin on Reynolds. ***, 73% overall

See, something like this is just begging for a gimmick match but the game is hella restrictive on what you can do with 6-man tags. At least let us do hardcore or even elimination.

Segment 5: Hardy Party beat down the three Dark Order members in the ring. Matt proclaims that the rest of Dark Order won't be coming out to save them tonight as he paid off a venue worker to block their locker room...it pays to have money! Muahaha. Remember how you allowed me to pick the rules for our Double or Nothing match? I know you were worried about fine print, but fear no longer. The winner takes all, no matter how they win. No underhanded tactics, no easy way out, a perfectly fair fight between the two of us. And I have procured a very special guest referee to ensure it! 82% overall

If the guest referee isn't Mike Rotunda I'll be severely disappointed.

Segment 6: Dr. Britt Baker DMD in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Worst match of the night so far, but very much still in the realm of perfectly acceptable wrestling. Baker gets the cheap victory. Afterwards, she instructs Reba to hand her some...shears? Why does dentist need shears? She looks like she's going to take off some of Serena's hair just as Kong did to her two weeks ago. Awesome Kong could see no more of the gimmick infringement as she makes her way out to the ring. Baker and Reba stare down Kong, Baker shoves Reba at Kong and Reba takes a Samoan drop like a trooper while Baker hightails it again. **1/2, 70% overall

LOL, again I love it when a heel just abandons/sacrifices their stooge to save their ass. Under the circumstances presented here there was really no other option.

Segment 7: Kenny Omega and Don Callis interview promo to talk up Kenny's triple threat title defense on Saturday. No matter how much AEW tries to stack the odds up against the best wrestler in the world, the result will be the same: Kenny will be right back on top of the mountain by this time next week. 83% overall

To think this is a step up for Callis after having to put over fucking Kurrgan.

Segment 8: Darby eventually makes the hot tag to Orange Cassidy, who comes in like a house of fire as the crowd goes wild. Miro is reeling outside the ring, OC sets up for a Superman Punch outside the ring...he charges, MIRO SMACKS HIM WITH THE RING BELL! The ref calls for the bell, which doesn't ring because it's embedded into OC's skull. ****, 86% overall

OK, that's fucking hilarious. The cherry on top would've been Miro grabbing the hammer and ringing it himself after the ref called for the DQ.

Segment 9: FTR make their way to the ring to win their match and rightful earned #1 contendership by forfeit...Frankie Kazarian says not so fast and makes his way out to the ring solo. He had a chat with Tony Khan and he agreed the #1 contendership can't end this way. Since neither Daniels nor Sky can compete tonight, let's change it up and make it a 6-man tag. FTR and Shawn Spears vs. Frankie Kazarian and...The Young Bucks! The heel team was not happy with that at all as the faces charge the ring like a house of fire. This ended up being my second good trios match of the night, Bucks showing character willing to fight alongside Kazarian knowing that he'd be getting screwed out of a shot at their belts. Bucks and FTR are brawling outside the ring. Tully Blanchard gets on the apron and starts to undo a turnbuckle pad only for a hobbled Christopher Daniels to pull Tully off the apron! Spears is caught off guard, Wave of the Future! Kazarian wins and he and Daniels retain their #1 contendership! The heel team is pissed off as SCU and the Bucks exchange a handshake ahead of their match Saturday. ***1/4, 82% overall

That's some smart booking to get around the limitations of Daniels. I especially applaud the restraint shown in not going all WWE and just doing a handicap match.

Segment 10: Jon Moxley and PAC are talking, acknowledging they've had fun teaming up the past couple of months but that's all gotta end Saturday. Kenny Omega and Karl Anderson enter both sides of the room much as Mox and PAC did last week. Mox and PAC both pick up chairs and dare the heels to come on in...they back into each other and immediately turn around out of instinct, they nearly clock each other with the chairs as the heels rush out of there snickering over causing tension among the faces. 89% overall

After his crazy character work in the WWE as Ambrose, I can absolutely picture Moxley being freakishly paranoid here in this segment.

Segment 11: Cody Rhodes vs. Sammy Guevara in a rematch of what was the first ever match on Dynamite. During the match it is confirmed that Sting's Career Threatening Match on Saturday has been upgraded to a tag team bout: Sting and Cody vs. MJF and Sammy. Cody wants to drive MJF out of Inner Circle and could not stand to see the Stinger go it alone against the devious Inner Circle. Plus I'm sure this decision has nothing to do with the fact that a 62-year old Sting should not be working a singles match and Cody can shoulder the workload and play a convincing Ricky Morton. It's a solid match to close out the show, with a red hot crowd to boot. We get our second "heel fuck up interference" finish in as many matches as MJF climbs on the apron to distract Cody only for Sting to come OUTTA NOWHERE with a baseball bat shot to the back, MJF is down, Sammy is concerned and Cody capitalizes with the Cross Rhodes. Much like at the start of the show, Inner Circle are held at bay with with threat of Sting's bat. The faces stand tall to end the show. ***, 85% overall 79% overall show rating

Everyone's firing on all cylinders here but it needed a crow or vulture or something to come down and peck at Guevara's body to really put it over the top. Bird lives matter!!!

I'm always agog at how rapidly you get around to the big shows but I've just been so used to 3 shows every God damn week on my game that it messes with my head. I await the next lovely wrestling goddess!

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G I'm always agog at how rapidly you get around to the big shows but I've just been so used to 3 shows every God damn week on my game that it messes with my head. I await the next lovely wrestling goddess!

It's throwing me off so much because this is not how AEW books. It's supposed to be a nice 3 month build between quarterly PPVs. Starting this game and immediately having Shad Khan demand monthly PPVs pretty much forced me to shift booking methodologies away from what you'd actually see, and with only one weekly TV it's hard for it to not feel rushed.

Since realism's kinda already being blown up, a second TV show is feeling like it's getting close to being a requirement. My roster is so big, and actual AEW booking of cycling talent in and out every other week doesn't work with the game's algorithms. I'm finding that even throwing guys just into promo segments to give them an appearance doesn't completely stop the morale drop, they want to actually work.

So I might have to send some promo tapes out soon. If I do get a second show my roster size would certainly allow for me to have a brand split and, in theory, I could align my schedule to do my 4 marquee PPVs and 8 brand-exclusive PPVs and the brand-exclusive PPVs would allow me 2 months of build between them. We'll see.

[Evil Vito]

And after a two month creative hiatus, Vito has returned to EWR! We've got the fall out to Crossroads and begin the 5 week build to Double or Nothing.

I pick the game up the day after the PPV on Sunday, April 25th. And one day into advancing the game, Riho announces she has a drug problem that is ruining her life, and I decide to send her to rehab. Suppose this is a lesson to never judge a book by its cover, because this certainly doesn't look like a raging drug addict:




AEW Dark: April 27, 2021:
-The Butcher and The Blade def. QT Marshall and Billy
-Serena Deeb def. Mel
-Matt Sydal def. Serpentico
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki
-Matt Hardy def. Evil Uno


AEW Dynamite: April 28, 2021

Segment 1:

AEW World Champion Kenny Omega is in the ring with Don Callis and Karl Anderson, all three dressed to the nines to celebrate Omega's triumphant victory over PAC and Jon Moxley to retain his title at Crossroads.

Kenny says for the last three days he's had people inundating him with tweets and DMs about how Miro pulling Moxley off the cover is the only reason he retained the belt. Who was he to know Miro had gotten involved at all? He had been suplexed through the announce table and was busy picking shrapnel out of his back. Anderson was busy tending to his friend. Callis himself had something in his eye at the time. But rest assured if we were aware of what was going on, we would have stopped Miro to ensure this triple threat could finish in the fairest manner possible!

As the heels continue to heel it up, PAC has seen enough! He and Death Triangle teammate Rey Fenix hit the ring to put a stop to the proceedings, and Omega skedaddles out of there leaving Anderson to fall victim to a Black Arrow. 92% overall


Segment 2:

Frankie Kazarian was last seen shoving down longtime tag partner Christopher Daniels in frustration after their loss at Crossroads. Tonight he faces off against Chuck Taylor. Normally both men are fan favorites and tag team specialists but I figured their styles would mesh well and they did not disappoint, putting together a 97% quality match. Kazarian picks up an impressive win with the Wave of the Future.

After the match, Kazarian takes a mic and wants to publicly apologize for his actions on Saturday. Sometime his temper gets the better of him, and as one half of the inaugural AEW Tag Team champions, he's been so eager to get those titles back. He doesn't want this to fracture his decade-long relationship with Daniels. Before he could continue to apologize though, Tully Blanchard appeared on screen telling Kazarian to shut his trap. SCU are the reason FTR didn't get their rightful match for the Tag Team Titles, and they are making it their personal mission to destroy every member of SCU. ****1/4, 84% overall


Segment 3:

Backstage, Sting is walking the halls, shaking hands with various wrestlers and stagehands ahead of giving his retirement address tonight. He comes face to face with his fellow facepainted ally Darby Allin, and hands him his trusty black bat.

74% overall...guess I figured I'd use the "retired wrestler passes the torch" segment I never get to use, it did nothing for Darby and only caused Sting to lose overness, oops


Segment 4:

Miro is here, fresh off of a fluky cage match loss to Orange Cassidy and subsequently screwing Jon Moxley on Saturday and apparently giving him a severe beating backstage. Tonight he faces Dustin Rhodes. I love Dustin and all, but as is the case with most of the 50+ year olds in AEW, he is here to put over others and make them look good. They have a solid brawl but Miro wins decisively with the Game Over and keeps hit locked in afterward. ***, 77% overall


Segment 5:

Jon Moxley soon emerges on the screen from a back alley and he essentially tells Miro he's fucked with the wrong guy. He might be held out of being at the building tonight but next week he'll be back, and maybe this time Miro will have the balls to face him man to man. 92% overall


Segment 6:

AEW Women's World Champion Awesome Kong is right back in action to continue her warpath through the women's division. She's facing Thunder Rosa. Kong vs. Rosa is a match that should totally be a bigger deal than it is in this world but Rosa insists on remaining a freelancer and won't sign a contract. And so it goes. They have a decent match but Kong puts it away with the Soul Collector before continuing her gimmick of cutting hair off of her opponents. Who wants to step up to Kong now?

A shrill"EXCUSE ME!" emanates from the PA system....it's Vickie Guerrero! We haven't seen her in months! VICKIE GUERRERO IS ANSWERING THE CALL!

Okay not really, but her client we also haven't seen in months is....former Women's champion "The Native Beast" Nyla Rose walks out on stage. Points to Kong and gestures that the belt will soon be back around her waist. **3/4, 72% overall


Segment 7:

Backstage interview with Team Taz. Taz talks up the group, especially "The Machine" Brian Cage who vanquished Darby Allin on Saturday and now has both the AEW TNT Title AND the FTW Title draped over his shoulders. Best Friends (Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander) inadvertently walk past the camera which causes Taz to pause his interview in annoyance. Cassidy gives them the thumbs up in an aloof manner before walking off.


Segment 8:

With The Young Bucks having retained their Tag Team Titles on Saturday, their opponents for Double or Nothing will be determined via a mini tournament over the coming weeks. Despite losing his first 6 months of income, "Big Money" Matt Hardy had enough in offshore savings to talk the powers that be into allowing his clients Private Party a match against the champs, possibly to jump their way up the rankings.

So the Bucks and Private Party had absolute bangers against each other IRL and in this game the Bucks seem incapable of producing anything but gold, so this match of course ruled to the tune of 100% quality. High flying spotfest in the best way. Hardy tries to hop on the apron to interfere but it is mistimed, Double Superkick and the Bucks get the win.

3-on-2 beatdown after the bell only for Hangman Page to rush out to the ring for the save. Page is rocking a studded leather jacket, no doubt something he just bought with Matt's money. Even though Page is now with Dark Order, he and the Bucks go way back to their Elite days with the founding of the promotion, so they are appreciative of the save. ****1/2, 91% overall


Segment 9:

Matt Hardy gets on the mic and screams at Hangman Page. He stole his money from him, all because that corrupt Kurt Angle cheated as the referee! He will not let this stand! Matt Hardy's bank account WILL NOT DIE!

To the surprise of Hardy, Kurt Angle's music hits. What is he doing back here?

Angle thanks Hardy for bringing him into AEW for that special guest referee spot. While he was backstage he enjoyed meeting so many of the talent and crew. And in particular, he enjoyed talking to Tony Khan. As it turns out, Tony Khan was looking to abdicate some day-to-day responsibilities with the company, both with talent management and matchmaking. And he wanted someone intelligent and with plenty of experience for the job.

So I introduce you to the new Commissioner of AEW: Kurt Angle! And as his first act, he announced the Hardy Party will face Adam Page and the Young Bucks next week! 78% overall


Segment 10:

Our main event of the evening sees "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer and "The Mad King" Eddie Kingston settle their differences in a Street Fight. The two tough bastards slugged each other in a really hard hitting contest, Archer seeming to get the better of the exchange after a while, extracting revenge on Kingston for putting him and Jake Roberts on the shelf for months.

But alas, with it being a Street Fight it was only a matter of time before there were shenanigans from The Familie. Butcher, Blade, and Allie made their presences known. Allie kicks Jake in the nads at ringside, Butcher and Blade jump Archer but he's able to fight them off. What he didn't see was Kingston wrapping his fist with a chain, spinning backfist and Kingston collapses on top of Archer for the win. ****, 85% overall


Segment 11:

Our main event segment sees Cody Rhodes in the ring along with Darby Allin, Dustin Rhodes, and a host of legends including Cody's manager/coach Arn Anderson, DDP, and new AEW commissioner Kurt Angle. Also there are Tony Khan and road agents and staff including Dean Malenko, Ricky Steamboat, Fit Finlay, Jerry Lynn, Billy Kidman, and Glacier. Most of the face locker room is on the stage in Sting shirts, and a couple dozen Sting superfans were given the chance to stand around the ring too to witness the moment. Tony Schiavone does the honors one last time.......



Rousing ovation for Sting from the locker room and the crowd. Enters the ring, shakes hands and hugs everyone in the ring.

Cody starts things off by apologizing to Sting, he was the one who got pinned on Saturday and therefore he feels personally responsible for Sting's career having to end. But Sting gives him his assurance that Cody did nothing wrong here, the Inner Circle stooped to their usual lows. He thanks Cody and the Khan family for giving him the chance to compete in AEW. Six years ago he was forced out of in-ring competition. He wanted to go out on his own terms, and maybe the Inner Circle are robbing him of that opportunity, but he's forever grateful he got to lace up the boots again and get in the ring again at all.

Sting goes on to start thanking many of his greatest friends and foes over the years, including Dusty which gets the Rhodes boys choked up. He also starts to thank the fans when all of a sudden...

"BOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNG!"

The Inner Circle appear on the tron to massive heel heat. MJF says Sting had a nice run, but you're yesterday's news and Inner Circle wrote the final chapter of your obituary. A few of the members speak about how nauseating it is to see AEW ending a show with a nostalgia celebration when the focus should be on how Inner Circle is the greatest faction in wrestling, led by men who are the future of this business. And with that, they're going to put a stop to it.

The tron shows Inner Circle leaving their locker room and walking down the corridor. The face locker room head backstage to cut them off.

Wait a second - what's happening in the ring??? Cody, Dustin, and Darby have been pulled out of the ring by some of the fans at ringside and they're beaten down. Several of the legends and staffers (the ones who can't physically do much) hightail it while anyone who is able to take basic offense tries to fight it off and gets stomped too.

Eventually Sting finds himself on the receiving end of a Cross Rhodes. But it's not the Cross Rhodes, it's the Double Cross because the masked fan reveals himself as MJF. The other five fans participating in the beatdown naturally unmask as the rest of Inner Circle too.

The face locker room eventually charges back out as Inner Circle leave through the crowd. Inner Circle exit through the crowd. Faces tend to Sting and the other legends as Inner Circle all laugh like dicks and Jim Ross has a coronary and says MJF is a no good sonofabitch!

97% overall with MJF gaining overness...used the other retiring worker angle (retired worker beaten down) and it worked to perfection. Thank you Sting.

85% overall show rating

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito And after a two month creative hiatus, Vito has returned to EWR! We've got the fall out to Crossroads and begin the 5 week build to Double or Nothing. I pick the game up the day after the PPV on Sunday, April 25th. And one day into advancing the game, Riho announces she has a drug problem that is ruining her life, and I decide to send her to rehab. Suppose this is a lesson to never judge a book by its cover, because this certainly doesn't look like a raging drug addict:

Hey, it takes all types. I had a friend in high school that I thought to be fucking awesome to be around and ran into her 10 years later to discover that her life went to shit after becoming a druggie. Also, MARKING OUT for the return of Vito's AEW, which I can only assume is light years better than the real AEW from what I've been told.

AEW Dark: April 27, 2021: -The Butcher and The Blade def. QT Marshall and Billy -Serena Deeb def. Mel -Matt Sydal def. Serpentico -Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki -Matt Hardy def. Evil Uno

You can't have more than one women's match on a show!!! Are you some kind of madman?!?!

AEW Dynamite: April 28, 2021 Segment 1: AEW World Champion Kenny Omega is in the ring with Don Callis and Karl Anderson, all three dressed to the nines to celebrate Omega's triumphant victory over PAC and Jon Moxley to retain his title at Crossroads. Kenny says for the last three days he's had people inundating him with tweets and DMs about how Miro pulling Moxley off the cover is the only reason he retained the belt. Who was he to know Miro had gotten involved at all? He had been suplexed through the announce table and was busy picking shrapnel out of his back. Anderson was busy tending to his friend. Callis himself had something in his eye at the time. But rest assured if we were aware of what was going on, we would have stopped Miro to ensure this triple threat could finish in the fairest manner possible! As the heels continue to heel it up, PAC has seen enough! He and Death Triangle teammate Rey Fenix hit the ring to put a stop to the proceedings, and Omega skedaddles out of there leaving Anderson to fall victim to a Black Arrow. 92% overall

I love it when heels are portrayed as disingenuous by claiming they would have done the right thing when it's blatantly obvious that they're dicks. Topped off with the classic "save my own ass while sacrificing my buddy" gag and that's a nice one-two punch.

Segment 2: Frankie Kazarian was last seen shoving down longtime tag partner Christopher Daniels in frustration after their loss at Crossroads. Tonight he faces off against Chuck Taylor. Normally both men are fan favorites and tag team specialists but I figured their styles would mesh well and they did not disappoint, putting together a 97% quality match. Kazarian picks up an impressive win with the Wave of the Future. After the match, Kazarian takes a mic and wants to publicly apologize for his actions on Saturday. Sometime his temper gets the better of him, and as one half of the inaugural AEW Tag Team champions, he's been so eager to get those titles back. He doesn't want this to fracture his decade-long relationship with Daniels. Before he could continue to apologize though, Tully Blanchard appeared on screen telling Kazarian to shut his trap. SCU are the reason FTR didn't get their rightful match for the Tag Team Titles, and they are making it their personal mission to destroy every member of SCU. ****1/4, 84% overall

All things considered, I'm guessing we haven't really seen the last of Daniels in this program?

Segment 3: Backstage, Sting is walking the halls, shaking hands with various wrestlers and stagehands ahead of giving his retirement address tonight. He comes face to face with his fellow facepainted ally Darby Allin, and hands him his trusty black bat. 74% overall...guess I figured I'd use the "retired wrestler passes the torch" segment I never get to use, it did nothing for Darby and only caused Sting to lose overness, oops

Oof. Well, it was a risk worth taking. I can only guess that Darby's over rating was a factor?

Segment 4: Miro is here, fresh off of a fluky cage match loss to Orange Cassidy and subsequently screwing Jon Moxley on Saturday and apparently giving him a severe beating backstage. Tonight he faces Dustin Rhodes. I love Dustin and all, but as is the case with most of the 50+ year olds in AEW, he is here to put over others and make them look good. They have a solid brawl but Miro wins decisively with the Game Over and keeps hit locked in afterward. ***, 77% overall

Yikes. How many people over 40 are on AEW's roster? I mean, you're using them the way they should be used but is that the case for the real deal?

Segment 5: Jon Moxley soon emerges on the screen from a back alley and he essentially tells Miro he's fucked with the wrong guy. He might be held out of being at the building tonight but next week he'll be back, and maybe this time Miro will have the balls to face him man to man. 92% overall

You should have had Scott Hall come out later in the show and mock Moxley for being a punk who can't even get into the building.

Segment 6: AEW Women's World Champion Awesome Kong is right back in action to continue her warpath through the women's division. She's facing Thunder Rosa. Kong vs. Rosa is a match that should totally be a bigger deal than it is in this world but Rosa insists on remaining a freelancer and won't sign a contract. And so it goes. They have a decent match but Kong puts it away with the Soul Collector before continuing her gimmick of cutting hair off of her opponents. Who wants to step up to Kong now? A shrill"EXCUSE ME!" emanates from the PA system....it's Vickie Guerrero! We haven't seen her in months! VICKIE GUERRERO IS ANSWERING THE CALL! Okay not really, but her client we also haven't seen in months is....former Women's champion "The Native Beast" Nyla Rose walks out on stage. Points to Kong and gestures that the belt will soon be back around her waist. **3/4, 72% overall

LOL, you actually had me with the Vickie Guerrero reveal. I was like, "Wait, what?" The Soul Collector is a boss name.

Segment 7: Backstage interview with Team Taz. Taz talks up the group, especially "The Machine" Brian Cage who vanquished Darby Allin on Saturday and now has both the AEW TNT Title AND the FTW Title draped over his shoulders. Best Friends (Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander) inadvertently walk past the camera which causes Taz to pause his interview in annoyance. Cassidy gives them the thumbs up in an aloof manner before walking off.

So what role does the TNT Title have? Is it a mid-card belt or something along the lines of a television title? It can't be a cruiserweight belt because everything I've heard about AEW tells me that like 90% of the roster is cruiserweights.

Segment 8: With The Young Bucks having retained their Tag Team Titles on Saturday, their opponents for Double or Nothing will be determined via a mini tournament over the coming weeks. Despite losing his first 6 months of income, "Big Money" Matt Hardy had enough in offshore savings to talk the powers that be into allowing his clients Private Party a match against the champs, possibly to jump their way up the rankings. So the Bucks and Private Party had absolute bangers against each other IRL and in this game the Bucks seem incapable of producing anything but gold, so this match of course ruled to the tune of 100% quality. High flying spotfest in the best way. Hardy tries to hop on the apron to interfere but it is mistimed, Double Superkick and the Bucks get the win. 3-on-2 beatdown after the bell only for Hangman Page to rush out to the ring for the save. Page is rocking a studded leather jacket, no doubt something he just bought with Matt's money. Even though Page is now with Dark Order, he and the Bucks go way back to their Elite days with the founding of the promotion, so they are appreciative of the save. ****1/2, 91% overall

Please tell me that you're going to have Page come out every week with some absurdly expensive knick-knack.

Segment 9: Matt Hardy gets on the mic and screams at Hangman Page. He stole his money from him, all because that corrupt Kurt Angle cheated as the referee! He will not let this stand! Matt Hardy's bank account WILL NOT DIE! To the surprise of Hardy, Kurt Angle's music hits. What is he doing back here? Angle thanks Hardy for bringing him into AEW for that special guest referee spot. While he was backstage he enjoyed meeting so many of the talent and crew. And in particular, he enjoyed talking to Tony Khan. As it turns out, Tony Khan was looking to abdicate some day-to-day responsibilities with the company, both with talent management and matchmaking. And he wanted someone intelligent and with plenty of experience for the job. So I introduce you to the new Commissioner of AEW: Kurt Angle! And as his first act, he announced the Hardy Party will face Adam Page and the Young Bucks next week! 78% overall

LOL @ the game expecting me to buy Riho as a person with a drug problem but Kurt Angle being fit to be an onscreen authority figure.

Segment 10: Our main event of the evening sees "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer and "The Mad King" Eddie Kingston settle their differences in a Street Fight. The two tough bastards slugged each other in a really hard hitting contest, Archer seeming to get the better of the exchange after a while, extracting revenge on Kingston for putting him and Jake Roberts on the shelf for months. But alas, with it being a Street Fight it was only a matter of time before there were shenanigans from The Familie. Butcher, Blade, and Allie made their presences known. Allie kicks Jake in the nads at ringside, Butcher and Blade jump Archer but he's able to fight them off. What he didn't see was Kingston wrapping his fist with a chain, spinning backfist and Kingston collapses on top of Archer for the win. ****, 85% overall

Seems like an odd way to finish a match that was built as the face looking to get revenge in a stipulation match but I'm sure there will be more to it. Murderhawk Monster is a certainly interesting moniker.

Segment 11: Our main event segment sees Cody Rhodes in the ring along with Darby Allin, Dustin Rhodes, and a host of legends including Cody's manager/coach Arn Anderson, DDP, and new AEW commissioner Kurt Angle. Also there are Tony Khan and road agents and staff including Dean Malenko, Ricky Steamboat, Fit Finlay, Jerry Lynn, Billy Kidman, and Glacier. Most of the face locker room is on the stage in Sting shirts, and a couple dozen Sting superfans were given the chance to stand around the ring too to witness the moment. Tony Schiavone does the honors one last time.......

Holy hell, Schiavone looks rough. I know the years haven't been kind to me, either, but jeez...

Rousing ovation for Sting from the locker room and the crowd. Enters the ring, shakes hands and hugs everyone in the ring. Cody starts things off by apologizing to Sting, he was the one who got pinned on Saturday and therefore he feels personally responsible for Sting's career having to end. But Sting gives him his assurance that Cody did nothing wrong here, the Inner Circle stooped to their usual lows. He thanks Cody and the Khan family for giving him the chance to compete in AEW. Six years ago he was forced out of in-ring competition. He wanted to go out on his own terms, and maybe the Inner Circle are robbing him of that opportunity, but he's forever grateful he got to lace up the boots again and get in the ring again at all. Sting goes on to start thanking many of his greatest friends and foes over the years, including Dusty which gets the Rhodes boys choked up. He also starts to thank the fans when all of a sudden... "BOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNG!" The Inner Circle appear on the tron to massive heel heat. MJF says Sting had a nice run, but you're yesterday's news and Inner Circle wrote the final chapter of your obituary. A few of the members speak about how nauseating it is to see AEW ending a show with a nostalgia celebration when the focus should be on how Inner Circle is the greatest faction in wrestling, led by men who are the future of this business. And with that, they're going to put a stop to it. The tron shows Inner Circle leaving their locker room and walking down the corridor. The face locker room head backstage to cut them off. Wait a second - what's happening in the ring??? Cody, Dustin, and Darby have been pulled out of the ring by some of the fans at ringside and they're beaten down. Several of the legends and staffers (the ones who can't physically do much) hightail it while anyone who is able to take basic offense tries to fight it off and gets stomped too. Eventually Sting finds himself on the receiving end of a Cross Rhodes. But it's not the Cross Rhodes, it's the Double Cross because the masked fan reveals himself as MJF. The other five fans participating in the beatdown naturally unmask as the rest of Inner Circle too. The face locker room eventually charges back out as Inner Circle leave through the crowd. Inner Circle exit through the crowd. Faces tend to Sting and the other legends as Inner Circle all laugh like dicks and Jim Ross has a coronary and says MJF is a no good sonofabitch! 97% overall with MJF gaining overness...used the other retiring worker angle (retired worker beaten down) and it worked to perfection. Thank you Sting.

This would never fly in WWE and that's one of the major reasons I just gave up. Your legends aren't going to live forever. Hell, they're not going to be hard up for cash forever. You need to have your actual full time people with all of the heat. I remember one of the bullshit defenses of Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin beating up the League of Nations at WrestleMania being, "Well, they've got to make sure the fans are happy!" Well, for starters, booking Roman Reigns against HHH as the main event already puts a bullet in that idea. Secondly, you know what could have made the crowd happy? Letting the faces win the fucking match. Or all of the other God damn times Austin dropped somebody after a fucking beer drinking session? Why not let one of the heels get one over on him for once and get some heel heat for daring to deny the people a beer drinking session and stunner? Get people to actually care about your roster and that way you don't have to dip into the reserves to pay off a part-timer or a C-list celebrity. Do shit like this where Sting gets his ass handed to him and now a younger potential big star can get some face heat by looking to avenge him. But what do I know? I'm just a schmuck behind a keyboard who has a thing for Australian blondes.

Good to see the show back.

[Evil Vito]

End of month notes for April:

Thunder Rosa once again increases her wage demand by 10%. JUST SIGN WITH ME DAMMIT!!!

Happy birthday to: Diamond Dallas Page (65), Vickie Guerrero (53), Dustin Rhodes (52), Jack Evans (39), Scorpio Sky (37), Chuck Taylor (34), Dasha Fuentes (31), Dr. Britt Baker DMD (30), Nick Comoroto (29), Marq Quen (27)

And with that, I have two more retirements as Vickie and Dustin have decided to leave at the end of the month. I'm losing nothing in Vickie, she was off-screen for 2 months and has a bad charisma rating so I'd never actually book her in an interview segment with Nyla Rose. I just didn't release her and I mostly am just letting contracts lapse if I don't want to keep people.

Dustin on the other hand is a more unfortunate worse. He was a solid brawler still but of course the ring work took a bigger hit with that age jump. Still, 87 charisma meant he could've had some use in another non-wrestling capacity. It's a shame non-wrestlers can't be converted to managers. Maybe he'll decide to become a staff member or something, I wonder if you have to re-sign workers who convert to staff or if they just move over automatically, if it's the latter Dustin's on an unsackable deal.

Elsewhere in the wrestling world...Chris Payne, Miguelito Perez, Pimpinela Escarlata, Shawn Daivari, Super Shisa, and Villano IV have announced they will retire at the end of May.


AEW Dark: May 4, 2021:
-Serena Deeb def. Yuka Sakazaki
-The Butcher and the Blade def. Billy and Colten Gunn
-Colt Cabana def. Matt Sydal
-Allie def. Leva Bates
-Adam Page def. Joey Janela


AEW Dynamite: May 5, 2021

Segment 1:

MJF and the Inner Circle are out to open their show and explain their actions from last week, when they disrespected Sting in his farewell to wrestling. The group again states their goal in trying to purge the company of all the old-timers holding back the business.

Cody comes out to express disgust, even for MJF, those actions were a new low. MJF says the Inner Circle's disdain isn't just with the legends, but with all of the nostalgia for yesteryear, and being a Rhodes boy running a promotion he's too blind to see he's stuck in the ways of his old man.

Cody's heard enough and begins to walk down the aisle, he is soon joined by his brother with a bullrope in hand, as well as Darby Allin with his skateboard who has a score to settle after his mentor got jumped. They're outnumbered 3 on 6 but as so fired up they manage to hold their own for a hot minute before security break up the brawl.

Dustin grabs the mic and lays into the group for disrespecting the legacies not just of the legends but all of the second and third generation stars in the business. One of those Inner Circle guys better step up to the plate because they're gonna get a Natural ass whooping. 87% overall


Segment 2:

Spoiler alert: Dustin is retiring so The Natural will not in fact be whooping ass and he's in full blown "put over everyone" mode.

The challenge is answered by MJF's bodyguard Wardlow. The two big guys have themselves a nice old school hoss fight. It's not a squash but the purpose is very much to put Wardlow's strength over. It got a solid 82% quality but the overall rating was lower than the quality and crowd reaction, so I think my streak of Dudless Dynamites is over. ***, 67% overall


Segment 3:

Backstage with Kenny Omega, Don Callis, and Karl Anderson. They talk about Karl's match with PAC tonight. Callis says there has been way too much slander about Omega's talents. So out of the goodness of his heart and for the benefit of the viewers, next week he'll be running an open gauntlet. The sign up sheet is behind them, and next week Kenny will be showing the whole world that there is not a wrestler in the world who can match his technical proficiency, cunning, and endurance.

As the group takes their leave, PAC and Rey Fenix walk into view from the other side, and appear to be the first names on the gauntlet sheet. Kenny might be getting more than he bargained for!


Segment 4:

"The Native Beast" Nyla Rose makes her in-ring return against Big Swole. The two appear to have some decent chemistry and put together a solid hard-hitting match as a result. Rose gets the Beast Bomb for the victory as Awesome Kong watches from the stage. I think we know who her next challenger is going to be. Alas, another bad rating. I'd gotten lucky with my Dud shows only landing on Dark, but that streak is definitely over. ***, 66% overall


Segment 5:

Jon Moxley is backstage searching for Miro, but can only find Penelope Ford. Knowing her association with Miro, Mox demands answers on where to find him but Ford plays dumb. Mox is eventually jumped by Miro as well as Kip Sabian for the two on one beatdown. Mox and Miro dropped a bit of overness, Kip gained. I swear this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've done this, one really unover guy drags others down. Gotta stop doing that. Silly me. In any event between the three of them, three very sexy blonde wives so good on them. 72% overall


Segment 6:

TNT Champion "The Machine: Brian Cage is out but tonight he's actually defending the FTW Championship because I forgot I even had it (though it's mostly just a prop). He's facing Scorpio Sky of SCU. They have a really good match that the snowflake rating reflects but, alas, non-clicky show.

The ref ejects Team Taz from ringside during the match but doesn't see Shawn Spears clobber Sky at ringside with a chair, Spears acting at Tully/FTR's behest in their vow to get revenge on SCU. Cage bring Sky in for the Drill Claw and gets the win. ****, 74% overall

Cage doesn't get to celebrate long before the Best Friends music hits as out comes Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor for our next bout!


Segment 7:

It's our first match in a 4-team mini tournament to decide who will get a Tag Title shot against the Young Bucks at Double or Nothing. Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Santana and Ortiz of the Inner Circle. Much like the last match, this one was awesome with a lot of fast paced offense sprinkled in with some damn good psychology from the very experienced Santana and Ortiz.

Match eventually breaks down with all 4 guys in the ring going at it. For some reason, Taz is out on the apron for a distraction which leads to Brian Cage pulling Orange outside the ring and ramming him into the barricade. I guess he felt upstaged by OC the last couple of weeks. This throws Chuckie T off as well and he takes a Street Sweeper to end it. Santana and Ortiz advance. ****, 81% overall


Segment 8:

Eddie Kingston puts himself over in an interview. He boasts about his victory over Lance Archer last week, shrugging off accusations that it was an ill-gotten win because it was no DQ, anything goes. Kingston goes on to declare himself the toughest son of a bitch in this business, and he's gonna prove it when he takes his place as AEW World Champion. And that starts in a few weeks as he's the first man to throw his name into the hat for the Casino Battle Royale at Double or Nothing. 92% overall


Segment 9:

We're supposed to be getting Hangman Page and The Young Bucks vs. The Hardy Party......but somehow The Dark Order's dressing room has been welded shut! Who could have possibly paid someone off to do that? Certainly not "Big Money" Matt Hardy!

Anyway the trios match proceeds on with The Young Bucks recruiting childhood friend Brandon Cutler as their replacement partner. Cutler's been slumming it development at AEW Dark for the past few months, and this is our first time seeing him on Dynamite in some time.

Bucks vs. Private Party was a classic last week but adding Hardy and Cutler dragged it down a bit (but still good). Hardy can go against the right opponent but at his age he can't really keep up with fast paced Young Bucks offense. Lucky for him though Cutler is effectively a jobber and here to eat the pin, punches Cutler in the nads and rolls him up for the win as the tag teams brawled outside. ***, 69% overall

Matt celebrates his win over a man with one of the worst records in AEW history way too much, and suddenly the Dark Order theme hits as Hangman leads the group's charge out. The whole Dark Order group has flashier gear on! Crowd in a frenzy as Private Party eat Buckshot Lariats.


Segment 10:

As Matt retreats up the ramp, Kurt Angle's theme hits - apparently he's here to deliver even more bad news for Matt. Last week Angle booked Hardy Party vs. Bucks and Page as his first ever order with AEW, and Matt went ahead and ruined it. And it sure seems like the Hardy Party, Dark Order, hell even Angle himself can't seem to stop themselves from getting involved. So how bout we settle it one final time. Hangman vs. Matt Hardy next week, steel cage. Matt is not happy with this, but Hangman can drink to that. 88% overall


Segment 11:

PAC vs. Karl Anderson in the main event - a good match for sure but the outcome is something of a foregone conclusion as we continue to build to the final stage of the PAC/Omega feud. Omega attempts to intervene but Rey Fenix cuts Kenny off at the pass. PAC forces Anderson to submit to the Brutalizer. Imagine the horror Kenny will have when he realizes both of these guys signed up for the Gauntlet. PAC and Fenix stand tall to close us out. ***1/4, 75% overall

77% show rating...not bad for a non-clicking show