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[Evil Vito]

AEW Blood and Guts
March 27, 2021

Welcome to AEW Not War Games Blood and Guts! Emanating live from the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. This landmark event marks the return of AEW going back on the road in full capacity venues after nearly a year of running exclusively out of The Daily's Place in Jacksonville, FL. Thank god the pandemic is over, now if only reality can imitate art.


The Buy In: Thunder Rosa vs. Ivelisse

AEW has a pretty big women's division and I choose to send Thunder Rosa and Ivelisse out there for a bonus match to get the crowd warmed up. As is the case with a lot of my undercard, they aren't particularly over but they clearly gelled well and the match did what I wanted it to do.

Thunder Rosa has to deal with Ivelisse's heelery including her partner Diamante getting herself ejected at some point. Thunder Rosa eventually gets some momentum going and ultimately picks up the hard-fought win via making Ivelisse tap to the Dragon Sleeper.
Winner: Thunder Rosa
***, 72% overall


Four Corners Tag Match: The Butcher and The Blade vs. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes and QT Marshall) vs. SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. Sammy Hager (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager)

Tonight's opener is also a bonus match. On the buy-in show, the tag team division was put on notice that four teams would be selected via random draw to be in a match with the winning duo earning themselves a future AEW World Tag Team title match.

Again, opening matches are meant to hype up the crowd and with a whole bunch of guys in there it makes for a frantic atmosphere and plenty of opportunity for teams to hit their moves on one another, and a couple guys in this match are north of 80 overness so that helped avoid torpedoing the crowd rating.

I've mentioned Daniels' age but didn't realize that the last Dynamite coincided with his legit 51st birthday, so giving him a singles match was my gift I suppose. And he had himself a great match.

Well screw it, I'm all for trying to ride the wave while I can. With bodies flying everywhere in the fracas, Daniels busts out something a man his age shouldn't be able to do - BEST MOONSAULT EVER on QT Marshall! SCU wins! SCU have been on something of a losing skid of late but this old dog has at least one more trick up his sleeve.
Winners: SoCal Uncensored
***, 79% overall


Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, and Marko Stunt) vs. FTR and Shawn Spears

The Tully Blanchard at ringside, his team takes on even more of a Horsemen-like approach in what ends up being a fairly old school style display of teamwork. Jungle Boy playing Ricky Morton and selling the hell out of the isolation before Luchasaurus gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Marko Stunt gets tagged in, stands atop Luchasaurus' shoulders for a splash on Dax Harwood but it's broken up at the 2.999 count. Devolves into a usual brawl the ref can't contain, Tully slides brass knucks to Dax and poor little Marko gets his clock cleaned for the loss.

Even though Jurassic Express have come up on the short end for much of this feud, they play great sympathy faces and it puts over Tully's group as a bunch of dicks. If the 67 year old Blanchard is up to it, I'd pop huge for Luchasaurus press slamming him to the outside on top of his group, at least giving the fans a sense of catharsis at seeing the heel boss get a level of comeuppance.
Winners: FTR and Shawn Spears
***, 74%


Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Miro and Kip Sabian

Orange and Miro's feud continues here with both of their partners back in tow for some tag action. Based on the rating this continued the string of yet another solid match on tonight's show. Orange and Miro eventually take their fight to the outside. Penelope Ford climbs onto the apron to distract Chuck Taylor (and boy is she ever distracting)...Kip Sabian charges Chuck from behinds, but Chuck sidesteps. Kip knocks his wife off the apron! Chuck then hits Kip with the best finisher name in the business - the Awful Waffle! Chuck and Orange win!

Miro hops back in and blindsides Chuck. Orange comes in to try to help his friend, and doesn't see Penelope has made it back into the ring where she hits him with her heel (who throws a shoe? Honestly?) The heels standing tall laughing off the loss when all of a sudden some futuristic music hits and holy shit, it's KRIS STATLANDER! We haven't seen her in action since June when she picked up a knee injury in a match with Penelope Ford! Penelope looks like she's seen a ghost, or in this case an alien. The Galaxy's Greatest Alien charges and the heels take a powder for now.
Winners: Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor
***1/4, 79% overall


AEW Women's World Championship - Kendo Sticks Legal: Hikaru Shida vs. Awesome Kong (C)

Shida and Kong's feud culminates in a manner most violent as the two beat the shit out of each other with kendo sticks. Shida attempting to choke out Kong with a kendo stick-assisted Crossface is the first spot that came to mind in this one. Toward the end she gets Kong into a form of a Kimura Lock that Kong finds a way to get to the ropes (hey I only said kendo sticks were legal, not that there were no rules at all). Kong goes to rest on the top rope but Shida latches right back onto her in the hold, bad move - top rope Awesome Bomb counter and Kong retains.

A winded and exhausted Kong laughs devilishly in celebration and yes, she cuts off a lock of Shida's hair because dammit, she has to.
Winner and STILL AEW Women's World Champion: Awesome Kong
***, 81% overall


Big Money Match: "Big Money Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page

Tensions had been brewing between these two for the past couple of months, both as mismatched partners and now as adversaries. A lot of money at stake in this one, and so Matt tried to take every shortcut in the book only to be thwarted. Match nearing its conclusion. Dead Eye on Matt....Hangman goes to the apron, Matt stumbling to his feet, could this be the Buckshot Lariat?

Wait! Matt Hardy crumples in a heap, clutching his ankle. He rolls out to the floor in agony. The referee counts 10. Hangman is confused but happy all at the same time. He wins the money!

Matt moans in pain and calls for the mic. "Adam, you should've read the fine print on the contract you dumb cowboy. Appendix D, Section 8 CLEARLY states that the monetary stipulation is valid only if victory is achieved by pinfall or submission. You may have won the match but as far as the money goes, you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!"
Winner: Adam Page
***1/2, 87% overall


Feel Good Segment of the Night

Hangman is pissed as the crowd boos the shit out of Hardy. Suddenly, Hangman is once again blindsided by Private Party! Not again! They do a beat down on Page. Matt slides a chair into the ring, and Private Party attach it to Hangman's ankle. Matt's own ankle is now magically healed, he goes to the top rope...oh god no, they're gonna Pillmanize Hangman....



JOIN THE DARK ORDER

The crowd erupts as The Dark Order hits the ring! They fight off The Hardy Party. Dark Order tried for months to recruit Hangman into their ranks only to be politely declined as Hangman didn't want to join a group, only for Matt to keep putting them down and trying to force the issue with Hangman. Now they've shown back up for Hangman when they've needed him most.

Hangman gets to his feet and sees the Dark Order looking at him. The Dark Order all do their hand salute. Hangman looks conflicted on what to do as the crowd chants "YES". He finally does the salute and everyone loses their shit. Brings a case of beer into the ring as the Dark Order all drink and hug it out.

Rating: 85% overall....and somehow John Silver was the only member of Dark Order to gain overness. Probably stole the scene with his facial expressions. John Silver = ratings


AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho and Maxwell Jacob Friedman) vs. The Young Bucks (C)

Another feud blown off on this one as the top alpha dogs of the Inner Circle try one last chance to win the gold with Jericho's threat of breaking the group up looming.

This was, as you could probably expect from the Bucks at this point, another red hot affair with everyone being super over and the crowd eating up everything. Jericho, not wanting to be outdone by Daniels in the 50 year old athletic move department, tries a Lionsault but gets a knee to the gut! MJF superkicked off the apron Jericho is picked up and the Bucks drive him to the mat with the Meltzer Driver! Bucks win!!! Bye bye Inner Circle!
Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team Champions: The Young Bucks
****, 91% overall


Main Event - the first ever BLOOD AND GUTS match: AEW TNT Champion Darby Allin, Cody Rhodes, PAC, Rey Fenix, and Jon Moxley vs. AEW World Champion Kenny Omega, Brian Cage, Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz

The game is pretty lazy with writing up War Games Blood and Guts matches, just listing random spots without much about the actual match. I can only assume Cody would've started the match out of pride, and Eddie Kingston not wanting to be outdone would've been in there to start against his rival. Not coincidentally, these two are probably the most likely in the match to get color. Not that I'm a proponent of blade jobs but you really think Cody isn't gonna gig himself in this one?

Anyway I just imagine various spots, mostly people throwing themselves with reckless abandon off the cage. Darby Allin doing a Coffin Drop onto everybody. Fenix doing some flippy stuff off the cage. Brian Cage trying to powerbomb folks through the cage wall. Santana/Ortiz bringing the madball into the cage and whipping the crap out of people. God help us if Moxley decides to pay homage to Foley with thumbtacks, Blood and Guts indeed.

The important thing though is the finish. The match can only end when someone surrenders, and that's exactly what happens when the face team manage to get the heel team at bay and PAC locks in a Brutalizer on Omega. Omega surrenders! PAC just made the AEW World Champion give up!

Winners: The Face Team
***1/4, 83% overall.......well, the game gets lazy and gives it basically the same rating as the regular 10 man tag, fuck you! I say ****1/2!

82% Overall Show Rating

That show ruled. A whole night of ***+ matches is pretty fantastic for a non-MAG promotion.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito AEW Blood and Guts

I'd ask where the hot woman is but typically sticking the words 'woman' and 'blood' doesn't trigger pleasant images.

March 27, 2021 Welcome to AEW Not War Games Blood and Guts! Emanating live from the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. This landmark event marks the return of AEW going back on the road in full capacity venues after nearly a year of running exclusively out of The Daily's Place in Jacksonville, FL. Thank god the pandemic is over, now if only reality can imitate art.

Like I said before, I want to go back to only worrying about getting a chicken sandwich from Popeye's.

The Buy In: Thunder Rosa vs. Ivelisse AEW has a pretty big women's division and I choose to send Thunder Rosa and Ivelisse out there for a bonus match to get the crowd warmed up. As is the case with a lot of my undercard, they aren't particularly over but they clearly gelled well and the match did what I wanted it to do. Thunder Rosa has to deal with Ivelisse's heelery including her partner Diamante getting herself ejected at some point. Thunder Rosa eventually gets some momentum going and ultimately picks up the hard-fought win via making Ivelisse tap to the Dragon Sleeper. Winner: Thunder Rosa ***, 72% overall

Bonus points for use of the word 'heelery'.

Four Corners Tag Match: The Butcher and The Blade vs. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes and QT Marshall) vs. SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. Sammy Hager (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager) Tonight's opener is also a bonus match. On the buy-in show, the tag team division was put on notice that four teams would be selected via random draw to be in a match with the winning duo earning themselves a future AEW World Tag Team title match. Again, opening matches are meant to hype up the crowd and with a whole bunch of guys in there it makes for a frantic atmosphere and plenty of opportunity for teams to hit their moves on one another, and a couple guys in this match are north of 80 overness so that helped avoid torpedoing the crowd rating. I've mentioned Daniels' age but didn't realize that the last Dynamite coincided with his legit 51st birthday, so giving him a singles match was my gift I suppose. And he had himself a great match. Well screw it, I'm all for trying to ride the wave while I can. With bodies flying everywhere in the fracas, Daniels busts out something a man his age shouldn't be able to do - BEST MOONSAULT EVER on QT Marshall! SCU wins! SCU have been on something of a losing skid of late but this old dog has at least one more trick up his sleeve. Winners: SoCal Uncensored ***, 79% overall

If anyone at 51 is able to still bust out a top rope moonsault their blood needs to be studied and cryogenically stored.

Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, and Marko Stunt) vs. FTR and Shawn Spears The Tully Blanchard at ringside, his team takes on even more of a Horsemen-like approach in what ends up being a fairly old school style display of teamwork. Jungle Boy playing Ricky Morton and selling the hell out of the isolation before Luchasaurus gets the hot tag and cleans house. Marko Stunt gets tagged in, stands atop Luchasaurus' shoulders for a splash on Dax Harwood but it's broken up at the 2.999 count. Devolves into a usual brawl the ref can't contain, Tully slides brass knucks to Dax and poor little Marko gets his clock cleaned for the loss. Even though Jurassic Express have come up on the short end for much of this feud, they play great sympathy faces and it puts over Tully's group as a bunch of dicks. If the 67 year old Blanchard is up to it, I'd pop huge for Luchasaurus press slamming him to the outside on top of his group, at least giving the fans a sense of catharsis at seeing the heel boss get a level of comeuppance. Winners: FTR and Shawn Spears ***, 74%

You'd pop even more if 67-year old Blanchard would bust out a moonsault of his own.

Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Miro and Kip Sabian Orange and Miro's feud continues here with both of their partners back in tow for some tag action. Based on the rating this continued the string of yet another solid match on tonight's show. Orange and Miro eventually take their fight to the outside. Penelope Ford climbs onto the apron to distract Chuck Taylor (and boy is she ever distracting)...Kip Sabian charges Chuck from behinds, but Chuck sidesteps. Kip knocks his wife off the apron! Chuck then hits Kip with the best finisher name in the business - the Awful Waffle! Chuck and Orange win! Miro hops back in and blindsides Chuck. Orange comes in to try to help his friend, and doesn't see Penelope has made it back into the ring where she hits him with her heel (who throws a shoe? Honestly?) The heels standing tall laughing off the loss when all of a sudden some futuristic music hits and holy shit, it's KRIS STATLANDER! We haven't seen her in action since June when she picked up a knee injury in a match with Penelope Ford! Penelope looks like she's seen a ghost, or in this case an alien. The Galaxy's Greatest Alien charges and the heels take a powder for now. Winners: Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor ***1/4, 79% overall

OK, with all of that craziness in the match and Penelope's wonderful assets, how am I supposed to pay that much attention to it when you've got somebody with the moniker of Galaxy's Greatest Alien? I need to take a trip on Google....

AEW Women's World Championship - Kendo Sticks Legal: Hikaru Shida vs. Awesome Kong (C) Shida and Kong's feud culminates in a manner most violent as the two beat the shit out of each other with kendo sticks. Shida attempting to choke out Kong with a kendo stick-assisted Crossface is the first spot that came to mind in this one. Toward the end she gets Kong into a form of a Kimura Lock that Kong finds a way to get to the ropes (hey I only said kendo sticks were legal, not that there were no rules at all). Kong goes to rest on the top rope but Shida latches right back onto her in the hold, bad move - top rope Awesome Bomb counter and Kong retains. A winded and exhausted Kong laughs devilishly in celebration and yes, she cuts off a lock of Shida's hair because dammit, she has to. Winner and STILL AEW Women's World Champion: Awesome Kong ***, 81% overall

This gives me a warm glow inside.

Big Money Match: "Big Money Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page Tensions had been brewing between these two for the past couple of months, both as mismatched partners and now as adversaries. A lot of money at stake in this one, and so Matt tried to take every shortcut in the book only to be thwarted. Match nearing its conclusion. Dead Eye on Matt....Hangman goes to the apron, Matt stumbling to his feet, could this be the Buckshot Lariat? Wait! Matt Hardy crumples in a heap, clutching his ankle. He rolls out to the floor in agony. The referee counts 10. Hangman is confused but happy all at the same time. He wins the money! Matt moans in pain and calls for the mic. "Adam, you should've read the fine print on the contract you dumb cowboy. Appendix D, Section 8 CLEARLY states that the monetary stipulation is valid only if victory is achieved by pinfall or submission. You may have won the match but as far as the money goes, you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!" Winner: Adam Page ***1/2, 87% overall

Fake injury AND Willy Wonka reference? Brilliant.

Feel Good Segment of the Night Hangman is pissed as the crowd boos the shit out of Hardy. Suddenly, Hangman is once again blindsided by Private Party! Not again! They do a beat down on Page. Matt slides a chair into the ring, and Private Party attach it to Hangman's ankle. Matt's own ankle is now magically healed, he goes to the top rope...oh god no, they're gonna Pillmanize Hangman.... JOIN THE DARK ORDER The crowd erupts as The Dark Order hits the ring! They fight off The Hardy Party. Dark Order tried for months to recruit Hangman into their ranks only to be politely declined as Hangman didn't want to join a group, only for Matt to keep putting them down and trying to force the issue with Hangman. Now they've shown back up for Hangman when they've needed him most. Hangman gets to his feet and sees the Dark Order looking at him. The Dark Order all do their hand salute. Hangman looks conflicted on what to do as the crowd chants "YES". He finally does the salute and everyone loses their shit. Brings a case of beer into the ring as the Dark Order all drink and hug it out. Rating: 85% overall....and somehow John Silver was the only member of Dark Order to gain overness. Probably stole the scene with his facial expressions. John Silver = ratings

I like how your segments flow into each other and that there's a payoff. Is Silver designated as the leader in the stable? The game typically awards any over points earned in a segment to the leader. The other possibility is his charisma is fairly respectable.

AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho and Maxwell Jacob Friedman) vs. The Young Bucks (C) Another feud blown off on this one as the top alpha dogs of the Inner Circle try one last chance to win the gold with Jericho's threat of breaking the group up looming. This was, as you could probably expect from the Bucks at this point, another red hot affair with everyone being super over and the crowd eating up everything. Jericho, not wanting to be outdone by Daniels in the 50 year old athletic move department, tries a Lionsault but gets a knee to the gut! MJF superkicked off the apron Jericho is picked up and the Bucks drive him to the mat with the Meltzer Driver! Bucks win!!! Bye bye Inner Circle! Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team Champions: The Young Bucks ****, 91% overall

I'm willing to wager in real life Daniels has the edge over Jericho as far as athleticism is concerned.

Main Event - the first ever BLOOD AND GUTS match: AEW TNT Champion Darby Allin, Cody Rhodes, PAC, Rey Fenix, and Jon Moxley vs. AEW World Champion Kenny Omega, Brian Cage, Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz The game is pretty lazy with writing up War Games Blood and Guts matches, just listing random spots without much about the actual match. I can only assume Cody would've started the match out of pride, and Eddie Kingston not wanting to be outdone would've been in there to start against his rival. Not coincidentally, these two are probably the most likely in the match to get color. Not that I'm a proponent of blade jobs but you really think Cody isn't gonna gig himself in this one? Anyway I just imagine various spots, mostly people throwing themselves with reckless abandon off the cage. Darby Allin doing a Coffin Drop onto everybody. Fenix doing some flippy stuff off the cage. Brian Cage trying to powerbomb folks through the cage wall. Santana/Ortiz bringing the madball into the cage and whipping the crap out of people. God help us if Moxley decides to pay homage to Foley with thumbtacks, Blood and Guts indeed. The important thing though is the finish. The match can only end when someone surrenders, and that's exactly what happens when the face team manage to get the heel team at bay and PAC locks in a Brutalizer on Omega. Omega surrenders! PAC just made the AEW World Champion give up! Winners: The Face Team ***1/4, 83% overall.......well, the game gets lazy and gives it basically the same rating as the regular 10 man tag, fuck you! I say ****1/2!

Uh, I thought we agreed on The Superfriends? Anyways, I figure it's the duty of any Rhodes offspring to bleed like a stuck pig. Hell, I imagine little Dakota running into a tree and just turning the playground sandbox into a sea of blood. War Games isn't necessarily infallible, remember. *cough*1998*cough* There had to have been two guys involved whose stats didn't click.

82% Overall Show Rating That show ruled. A whole night of ***+ matches is pretty fantastic for a non-MAG promotion.

[/QUOTE]

It was a pretty great show. 'Non-M-A-G show' should be a permanent term.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G OK, with all of that craziness in the match and Penelope's wonderful assets, how am I supposed to pay that much attention to it when you've got somebody with the moniker of Galaxy's Greatest Alien? I need to take a trip on Google....

She's got a unique look for sure. She's kind of a weirdo and based on interviews I've heard her in, she's genuinely a big nerd which is worth big points in my book.

Fake injury AND Willy Wonka reference? Brilliant.

That rant by Wonka was one of my favorite movie lines as a kid.

I like how your segments flow into each other and that there's a payoff. Is Silver designated as the leader in the stable? The game typically awards any over points earned in a segment to the leader. The other possibility is his charisma is fairly respectable.

Good shout, it's probably charisma. Dark Order has no official leader since Brodie Lee passed away. Evil Uno is the closest since he started the whole gimmick originally, but I actually said fuck it and listed Colt Cabana as the leader since he was the most over of the group and I assumed that's what impacted the segment rating.

Turns out John Silver slightly nudges him in charisma (only 63 overness for Silver but 88 charisma and decent in ring stats....think he'll eventually get a push) so perhaps the game just allocates the points to the most charismatic member.

I'm willing to wager in real life Daniels has the edge over Jericho as far as athleticism is concerned.

You'd be right. Jericho at times has me concerned that he'll wind up being wrestling's latest tragedy, dude clearly embraces the drinker/rockstar lifestyle and his beer gut shows it. Dude's gotten so much bigger than 2016 and not in a good way. In fairness to him, I could only hope to look like he does now when I'm 50 and have not even close to the same amount of wear and tear on my body....but I'm not meant to be going out on national TV either.

[Evil Vito]

AEW Crossroads
April 24, 2021

No logo for this made up AEW large event, but with the Crossroads/Cross Rhodes connection let's just throw a pic of Brandi Rhodes in here.




The Buy In: The Butcher and The Blade vs. Lance Archer and Dustin Rhodes

This match was basically meant to be a teaser for the Kingston/Archer match coming up on Dynamite, as Kingston's heavies The Butcher and The Blade face off against Archer, who picked Dustin as his partner for this match due to Cody's recent feud with Kingston.

Kingston gets up from commentary and interjects himself in the match, goading Archer into chasing him up the ramp leaving poor Dustin alone. B&B hit him with The Full Death for the win.
Winner: The Butcher and The Blade
***, 75% overall


AEW Women's World Championship: Dr. Britt Baker DMD vs. Awesome Kong (C)

I was thinking I would have to turn this into a multi-woman match because heel vs. heel matches tend to get penalized in EWR, only to then realize Kong is actually set up as a tweener which is kinda more fitting for her character anyway. She has a sadistic side but will fuck up anybody.

Baker tried to chickenshit her way out of this in as many different ways as possible. Cheap shots, using Reba for distractions, etc. but nothing was throwing Kong off her game. Once Kong grabbed Baker by the hair and Baker sold the terror, it was all over. Baker takes a beating and an Awesome Bomb finishes it. Baker is the latest wrestler to get scalped by Kong's shears afterwards.
Winner and STILL AEW Women's World champion: Awesome Kong
**3/4, 76% overall


AEW World Tag Team Championship: SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. The Young Bucks (C)

The teams showed mutual respect with one another with a handshake at the start of the proceedings, but those plesantries went out the window as soon as the bell rang. These teams threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other and it shows with the match rating. I did not advertise this as Daniels' final match, especially on a show with a retiring Sting who I can't ever use again....and with ratings like this I think I can see why I still would love to find ways to keep him in an angle to justify him wrestling.

Four super talented dudes, two of whom are at main event level overness and the other two in the 80s, AND the X factor of both teams having high experience ratings, yeesh this ruled. After a dramatic contest, Daniels connects with the Angel's Wings on Nick Jackson. Not convinced that would be enough to end it, Daniels goes up top for the Best Moonsault Ever. Big mistake, Nick gets his knees up! Nick gets him with the roll up and the Bucks retain!

After the bell, the crowd applauds all four men. Kazarian looks really deflated on the outside. After the Bucks leave, a Kazarian gets into the ring and shoves down Daniels in frustration! He immediately gets a look of regret but doesn't help Daniels up, leaving in a huff instead.
Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team champions: The Young Bucks
*****, 96% overall (100% quality)


[B]It's time for our Double or Nothing match with a whole lot of money at stake. "Big Money" Matt Hardy is out first. He reminds everybody that he was allowed to pick the stipulation. He wanted to ensure a fair fight for all, and he found the perfect referee for the job. An intensely focused referee. A man with the integrity to call things right down the middle. A man intelligent enough to know the rulebook front and back.

Ladies and gentleman, my longtime dear personal friend......KURT ANGLE!!!

The crowd marks out, what is Kurt Angle doing here in AEW??? Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring in his AEW referee shirt and soaks in the adoration from the crowd.
86% overall


Double or Nothing Match w/ Special Guest Referee Kurt Angle: "Big Money" Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page

Matt Hardy has possibly his best match in AEW, these two gelled even better than the last big show and between the extra crowd support culminating the feud and the dynamics of a special guest referee, the crowd ate it up.

A fired up Hangman wails on Matt so much at the beginning Angle has to try to break them up, which doesn't go over with the crowd. Matt throws Hangman into the steps at ringside, trying to goad The Dark Order into something. Dark Order look like they're about to lose their cool and jump Matt which prompts Angle to eject them to heel heat.

Unfortunately for Matt, who assumed he had the referee in his pocket Angle would go on to prove his 3 I's true by eventually ejecting Private Party as well, and not ignore Matt's attempts to cheat. Ie: hand on the ropes in a roll up, Angle kicks Matt's arm loose.

Matt eventually loses it, screaming at Angle. I invited you to AEW and this is how you treat me? Matt shoves Angle, drawing an ooooh from the crowd. Angle asks "did you just shove an official?" and teases that he's gonna DQ Matt, turning him into a crybaby bitch begging for forgiveness. All this happens while Matt is unaware Hangman is waiting on the apron. Turn around, Buckshot Lariat, 3 count, HANGMAN WINS THE MONEY!!!!!

Hangman celebrates his new fortune. Beer is on him tonight and for the forseeable future. Matt eventually recovers fuming, and now he's really getting physical with Angle. Angle looks to the crowd, match is over now so no need to play by the rules any more. Angle Slam and Angle Lock to Matt for old time's sake.
Winner: "Hangman" Adam Page
****, 89% overall


AEW TNT Championship - Street Fight: "The Machine" Brian Cage vs. Darby Allin (C)
Darby is fully prepared to use weapons to take on Team Taz all on his own but Brian Cage, in a surprising move, tells Team Taz to stay back so they can go it alone. They had a street fight at Revolution in a tag team scenario, but now it's one on one, no more bullshit to settle the score once and for all.

I imagine this match was bowling shoe ugly in the best possible way, because it was an incredible, violent brawl and like most other things tonight the crowd ate it way the hell up. Darby is one of the wrestlers on the roster who hardly needs to be talked into taking a sick bump. Brian Cage's finisher the Drill Claw is a vertical suplex piledriver hybrid. You know what that means? DRILL CLAW FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE!!!!! The FTW Champion Cage backs it up on his own to bring more gold to Team Taz. Who can stop the path of Cage?

Winner and NEW TNT Champion: "The Machine" Brian Cage
****1/2, 92% overall


Steel Cage Match: "The Best Man" Miro vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy

Another long running feud comes to an end in this one and hot damn do they have a tough act to follow. If they weren't both nice and over it might've been seen as a let down compared to the previous match. But it worked!

Only way to win this match is to escape the cage, because fuck pins and submissions in a cage match. Orange tried to keep Miro off balance as much as possible, but in a cage environment, Miro definitely grabbed the momentum and seemed to turn it into a torture chamber. Orange threw his body at Miro and Miro used him as a battering ram in equal measure. The announcers bemoaned that Miro could end it and now he's just wanting to make Orange suffer.

He picks up Orange in a Spinebuster formation...charges towards the cage and OH SHIT, it breaks! Orange is essentially Speared through the cage, but as he hit the ground first, he is declared the winner! Miro absolutely snaps at the decision starts tearing off a part of the cage and, attacking referees Rick Knox and Bryce Remsburg.
Winner: Orange Cassidy
***, 84% overall


Career Threatening Match: The Inner Circle (Maxwell Jacob Friedman and "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara) vs. Sting and "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes

I have no idea how Sting would've fared in a regular singles match, my suggestion is not well since his highest stat is a low 60s brawl. But between the other great workers in this and everybody being mega over, this match got to be all about the storytelling.

I think everybody knows Sting is retiring, so you give them a heaping helping of hope spots and false finishes all along the way. Inner Circle try to interfere at one point and Sting/Cody fight them off like it was WCW and they were the nWo. Everyone gets nostalgic.

Cody and MJF are legal in the ring. Sting and Sammy fighting outside. Sammy ends up having a madball that Santana and Ortiz slipped him when they interfered earlier, he clocks Sting with it and the referee doesn't see it because it's on the outside. Cody sees it, runs to the side of the ring to check on Sting's safety, only for MJF to roll Cody up with an illegal tight hook for the win. WHAT????

Everybody knew Sting would have to lose, but Cody eating a sudden flash pin was a subversion of expectations. Inner Circle laugh their asses off and hightail it out of there while Cody looks shocked and absolutely devastated at what just happened....did he just force one of his rivals to retire???
Winners: Maxwell Jacob Friedman and Sammy Guevara
***, 86% overall


Main Event - AEW World Championship: "The Bastard" PAC vs. Jon Moxley vs. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega (C)

Kenny begs off early on and tries to get one of the other guys to team with him to take out the opposition, as if he hasn't been a prick for months. The crowd get the satisfaction of seeing Kenny get his ass whooped by the faces for a while before they inevitably have to turn on each other.

Some pretty standard triple threat drama in here with the close pinn breakups. Kenny has some tricks up his sleeve but they don't seem to work, Callis calls out Karl Anderson to run interference and the faces kick his ass. No dice. Faces suplex Kenny through the announce table.

Faces go at it in the ring again. If the Drill Claw from the top rope looked like a sick bump before....what about Mox hitting a Paradigm Shift from the top? Holy shitballs that looked nasty. 1...2...Mox is pulled out of the ring by.........MIRO?????

What the hell is this! Miro still looks enraged from his loss an hour or so ago, and he apparently wants to take it out on more people. He beats the shit out of Mox who barely has anything left in the tank as is and is just throwing punches out of instinct. They brawl up the ramp. Meanwhile in the ring, Omega has slowly recovered and he drags himself over to the nearly dead PAC in the ring to get the pin and the victory.

Winner and STILL AEW World Champion: Kenny Omega
****, 89% overall
---

87% Overall Show Rating

Well, this fucking ruled. Scott Keith gives it two thumbs and his cock up.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito AEW Crossroads April 24, 2021 No logo for this made up AEW large event, but with the Crossroads/Cross Rhodes connection let's just throw a pic of Brandi Rhodes in here.

Cody, you dog...

The Buy In: The Butcher and The Blade vs. Lance Archer and Dustin Rhodes This match was basically meant to be a teaser for the Kingston/Archer match coming up on Dynamite, as Kingston's heavies The Butcher and The Blade face off against Archer, who picked Dustin as his partner for this match due to Cody's recent feud with Kingston. Kingston gets up from commentary and interjects himself in the match, goading Archer into chasing him up the ramp leaving poor Dustin alone. B&B hit him with The Full Death for the win. Winner: The Butcher and The Blade ***, 75% overall

I'd have gone with The Premium Cut or The Grade A for their finisher name.

AEW Women's World Championship: Dr. Britt Baker DMD vs. Awesome Kong (C) I was thinking I would have to turn this into a multi-woman match because heel vs. heel matches tend to get penalized in EWR, only to then realize Kong is actually set up as a tweener which is kinda more fitting for her character anyway. She has a sadistic side but will fuck up anybody. Baker tried to chickenshit her way out of this in as many different ways as possible. Cheap shots, using Reba for distractions, etc. but nothing was throwing Kong off her game. Once Kong grabbed Baker by the hair and Baker sold the terror, it was all over. Baker takes a beating and an Awesome Bomb finishes it. Baker is the latest wrestler to get scalped by Kong's shears afterwards. Winner and STILL AEW Women's World champion: Awesome Kong **3/4, 76% overall

It was cute of Baker to try. Trophies for participation!

AEW World Tag Team Championship: SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. The Young Bucks (C) The teams showed mutual respect with one another with a handshake at the start of the proceedings, but those plesantries went out the window as soon as the bell rang. These teams threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other and it shows with the match rating. I did not advertise this as Daniels' final match, especially on a show with a retiring Sting who I can't ever use again....and with ratings like this I think I can see why I still would love to find ways to keep him in an angle to justify him wrestling. Four super talented dudes, two of whom are at main event level overness and the other two in the 80s, AND the X factor of both teams having high experience ratings, yeesh this ruled. After a dramatic contest, Daniels connects with the Angel's Wings on Nick Jackson. Not convinced that would be enough to end it, Daniels goes up top for the Best Moonsault Ever. Big mistake, Nick gets his knees up! Nick gets him with the roll up and the Bucks retain! After the bell, the crowd applauds all four men. Kazarian looks really deflated on the outside. After the Bucks leave, a Kazarian gets into the ring and shoves down Daniels in frustration! He immediately gets a look of regret but doesn't help Daniels up, leaving in a huff instead. Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team champions: The Young Bucks *****, 96% overall (100% quality)

THE SNOWFLAKES ARE REAL!!! I'm guessing we're going to draw out the farewell for Daniels? It'd be something if Kazarian decides to retire, too.

[B]It's time for our Double or Nothing match with a whole lot of money at stake. "Big Money" Matt Hardy is out first. He reminds everybody that he was allowed to pick the stipulation. He wanted to ensure a fair fight for all, and he found the perfect referee for the job. An intensely focused referee. A man with the integrity to call things right down the middle. A man intelligent enough to know the rulebook front and back. Ladies and gentleman, my longtime dear personal friend......KURT ANGLE!!! The crowd marks out, what is Kurt Angle doing here in AEW??? Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring in his AEW referee shirt and soaks in the adoration from the crowd. 86% overall

Angle and Hardy friends? Man, I bet they've got some crazy drug-induced stories to swap. Not to mention being cucked.

Double or Nothing Match w/ Special Guest Referee Kurt Angle: "Big Money" Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page Matt Hardy has possibly his best match in AEW, these two gelled even better than the last big show and between the extra crowd support culminating the feud and the dynamics of a special guest referee, the crowd ate it up. A fired up Hangman wails on Matt so much at the beginning Angle has to try to break them up, which doesn't go over with the crowd. Matt throws Hangman into the steps at ringside, trying to goad The Dark Order into something. Dark Order look like they're about to lose their cool and jump Matt which prompts Angle to eject them to heel heat. Unfortunately for Matt, who assumed he had the referee in his pocket Angle would go on to prove his 3 I's true by eventually ejecting Private Party as well, and not ignore Matt's attempts to cheat. Ie: hand on the ropes in a roll up, Angle kicks Matt's arm loose. Matt eventually loses it, screaming at Angle. I invited you to AEW and this is how you treat me? Matt shoves Angle, drawing an ooooh from the crowd. Angle asks "did you just shove an official?" and teases that he's gonna DQ Matt, turning him into a crybaby bitch begging for forgiveness. All this happens while Matt is unaware Hangman is waiting on the apron. Turn around, Buckshot Lariat, 3 count, HANGMAN WINS THE MONEY!!!!! Hangman celebrates his new fortune. Beer is on him tonight and for the forseeable future. Matt eventually recovers fuming, and now he's really getting physical with Angle. Angle looks to the crowd, match is over now so no need to play by the rules any more. Angle Slam and Angle Lock to Matt for old time's sake. Winner: "Hangman" Adam Page ****, 89% overall

I mean that's a fun end and all but how much more fun (and lawsuit-inducing) would it have been if Mike Rotunda showed up in a white shirt and suspenders and demanded from Page immediate payment on his taxes?

AEW TNT Championship - Street Fight: "The Machine" Brian Cage vs. Darby Allin (C) Darby is fully prepared to use weapons to take on Team Taz all on his own but Brian Cage, in a surprising move, tells Team Taz to stay back so they can go it alone. They had a street fight at Revolution in a tag team scenario, but now it's one on one, no more bullshit to settle the score once and for all. I imagine this match was bowling shoe ugly in the best possible way, because it was an incredible, violent brawl and like most other things tonight the crowd ate it way the hell up. Darby is one of the wrestlers on the roster who hardly needs to be talked into taking a sick bump. Brian Cage's finisher the Drill Claw is a vertical suplex piledriver hybrid. You know what that means? DRILL CLAW FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE!!!!! The FTW Champion Cage backs it up on his own to bring more gold to Team Taz. Who can stop the path of Cage? Winner and NEW TNT Champion: "The Machine" Brian Cage ****1/2, 92% overall

THE SNOWFLAKES ARE STRONG WITH THIS SHOW! Doing the monthly big show isn't exactly hurting you in this regard.

Steel Cage Match: "The Best Man" Miro vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy Another long running feud comes to an end in this one and hot damn do they have a tough act to follow. If they weren't both nice and over it might've been seen as a let down compared to the previous match. But it worked! Only way to win this match is to escape the cage, because fuck pins and submissions in a cage match. Orange tried to keep Miro off balance as much as possible, but in a cage environment, Miro definitely grabbed the momentum and seemed to turn it into a torture chamber. Orange threw his body at Miro and Miro used him as a battering ram in equal measure. The announcers bemoaned that Miro could end it and now he's just wanting to make Orange suffer. He picks up Orange in a Spinebuster formation...charges towards the cage and OH SHIT, it breaks! Orange is essentially Speared through the cage, but as he hit the ground first, he is declared the winner! Miro absolutely snaps at the decision starts tearing off a part of the cage and, attacking referees Rick Knox and Bryce Remsburg. Winner: Orange Cassidy ***, 84% overall

Never take cage match advice from Paul Wight, Miro.

Career Threatening Match: The Inner Circle (Maxwell Jacob Friedman and "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara) vs. Sting and "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes I have no idea how Sting would've fared in a regular singles match, my suggestion is not well since his highest stat is a low 60s brawl. But between the other great workers in this and everybody being mega over, this match got to be all about the storytelling. I think everybody knows Sting is retiring, so you give them a heaping helping of hope spots and false finishes all along the way. Inner Circle try to interfere at one point and Sting/Cody fight them off like it was WCW and they were the nWo. Everyone gets nostalgic. Cody and MJF are legal in the ring. Sting and Sammy fighting outside. Sammy ends up having a madball that Santana and Ortiz slipped him when they interfered earlier, he clocks Sting with it and the referee doesn't see it because it's on the outside. Cody sees it, runs to the side of the ring to check on Sting's safety, only for MJF to roll Cody up with an illegal tight hook for the win. WHAT???? Everybody knew Sting would have to lose, but Cody eating a sudden flash pin was a subversion of expectations. Inner Circle laugh their asses off and hightail it out of there while Cody looks shocked and absolutely devastated at what just happened....did he just force one of his rivals to retire??? Winners: Maxwell Jacob Friedman and Sammy Guevara ***, 86% overall

That's a twist I didn't see coming. I'd have put money on Sting eating the pin. I'm guessing Cody is going to be getting some heat from some of the roster.

Main Event - AEW World Championship: "The Bastard" PAC vs. Jon Moxley vs. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega (C) Kenny begs off early on and tries to get one of the other guys to team with him to take out the opposition, as if he hasn't been a prick for months. The crowd get the satisfaction of seeing Kenny get his ass whooped by the faces for a while before they inevitably have to turn on each other. Some pretty standard triple threat drama in here with the close pinn breakups. Kenny has some tricks up his sleeve but they don't seem to work, Callis calls out Karl Anderson to run interference and the faces kick his ass. No dice. Faces suplex Kenny through the announce table. Faces go at it in the ring again. If the Drill Claw from the top rope looked like a sick bump before....what about Mox hitting a Paradigm Shift from the top? Holy shitballs that looked nasty. 1...2...Mox is pulled out of the ring by.........MIRO????? What the hell is this! Miro still looks enraged from his loss an hour or so ago, and he apparently wants to take it out on more people. He beats the shit out of Mox who barely has anything left in the tank as is and is just throwing punches out of instinct. They brawl up the ramp. Meanwhile in the ring, Omega has slowly recovered and he drags himself over to the nearly dead PAC in the ring to get the pin and the victory. Winner and STILL AEW World Champion: Kenny Omega ****, 89% overall

Miro and Moxley should feud over who has the hotter blonde wife...a question I still ponder over to this day. I'd say it's even more important than the 4 stars this match racked up. Omega with a heroic effort there at the end.

If I'm tracking this right this was probably your best show. Everyone looks like they were on the good shit this night.