RAW Captions 23/5/05

[FourFifty]

Maria: Say it again, Vis, say it again!
Big Vis: Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore!


She was to enthralled with his tie to realize his penis was holding the microphone.


Big Vis: Whassamatta, baby? Do I have something in my teeth?
Lillian: Yeah, it looks like Sean O’Haire.
Sean O’Haire: She’s not telling you anything you don’t already know.


Beniot didn’t realize that it wasn’t Triple H when he heard “You rike this! You rike this!”


Somehow the artistic value was lost in WWE’s independent film “The Human Marionette” when the director allowed Eugene to do design the set.


Paul Haymen’s new EXTREME headlock!


This man just found out that Triple H is going to be booking ECW’s One Night Stand.


Eric: Well at least my company didn’t go under first!
Paul: Well my company didn’t have Judy Bagwell on a pole!
Eric: ………..
Paul: And my company didn’t give the title to that one dumbass actor from Ready to Rumble!
Eric: …..
Paul: And my company--
Vince: We get your point, Paul. No reason to rub it in.


Paul thought it would be a simple task to destroy the Raw superstars at One Night Stand, until Eric revealed his heat vision.


Edge: So lemme get this right… you make a nazi salute, get a title shot… testify against Vince, get into the hall of fame… say you’re going to kill the internet fans and admit you’re a homophobe, leave the WWE with an awesome push behind you… screw another man’s girlfriend, get a main event push… I can’t explain it, but I love it!


Fans: You Screwed Matt! You Screwed Matt!
Lita: I sure did…. And Edge…. And Triple H… And Cool King!, and Big Vis, and Kane, and Savior, but damn, Always450 is the greatest!


Edge and Lita were about to make sweet love in the ring until
ALLAEAEAHEHALLYYYEAEAEAYEAH!!!!
Marks: Damn it Hassan!


And somewhere in North Carolina….
Matt: Jeff, puff it and pass it, I need it more than you.


He was just asked how he would feel if he were drafted to SmackDown.


Much to his dismay, no one else wanted to do the YMCA.


Xtian: How in the hell did either of them get a main event push?


This would be the last time that Batista would ever say “Family Guy Sucks”


Naich: Dave, what’s wrong?
Batista: It’s the title…
Naich: Don’t second guess yourself! You’re Batista, you’re the future on this company! You deserve that title!
Batista: It’s not that… It STILL smells like Triple H.


Time after time, HGA doesn’t get the same reaction as HLA.


It’s pretty sad when even Lita knows he’s not doing the RVD thingie the right way.


Batista decides that he’ll end the match with Lita’s version of the piledriver.


As the shooting star passed by Batista’s wish came true- to be felt up by an old man.


With the asscannon loaded, Triple H gets ready for a little revenge on everyone who helped Raw’s ratings while he was gone.


Maybe if I just engrave my name on it… then I CAN’T lose it…


Triple H: For every time you no sell a move, I shall kill you!
Batista: You’re one to talk!