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#121 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Fear is not the only emotion Kurt Angle can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't tap out to Kurt Angle tonight."
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#122 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Kurt Angle to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Kurt Angle had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
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#123 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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To be the man, you've got to beat the man. Kurt Angle is the man, so just give up.
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#124 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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The easiest way to determine Kurt Angle's age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
ADDENDUM: Since it is physically impossible to cut him in half, it is assumed that Kurt Angle is ageless. |
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#125 |
Guest
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The name Kurt Angle is a derivative of "Kurlovit Anglaski," which is Russian for "hairless marsupial".
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#126 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Kurt Angle smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Kurt Angle's personal chef.
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#127 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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When Kurt Angle says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
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#128 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Dammit, Terran, I was about to post that one!
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#129 | |
Guest
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Quote:
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#130 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Kurt Angle built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Kurt met all three bullets with his teeth, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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#131 |
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Kurt Angle has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Kurt ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
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#132 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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In a match between The Big Show and Andre the Giant, the winner would be Kurt Angle.
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#133 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Kurt Angle's sperm is so badass, he had sex with Stacy Keibler, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
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#134 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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If they told Kurt Angle instead of Houston, "We have a problem", he would've ankle locked it.
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#135 | |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Quote:
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#136 |
Guest
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Taking a picture of Kurt Angle's penis is the key to immortality. Take a picture of the wrong one however, and he will take yours and add it to himself. Unless you're a girl. Then he'll make you one and take yours.
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#137 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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When he was nine, Kurt Angle dressed as himself to go trick-or-treating. He came home with a bag full of candy, a bag full of miniature liquor bottles, an Irish Setter, and two underage prostitutes carrying more of his candy.
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#138 |
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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In an attempt to end World War II, the United States government authorized the drop of Kurt Angle onto Hiroshima. However, the Japanese hired a mercenary, known today as Samoa Joe, to meet him. The ensuing fight leveled the city, killing thousands.
However, the match was so well received (Metlzer gave it ****1/2) that a rematch was immediately booked in Nagasaki. |
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#139 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Kurt Angle doesn't go on the Internet, he has every web site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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#140 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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When Kurt Angle beats the clock, he beats it to a bloody pulp.
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#141 |
Guest
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Kurt Angle donated 40% of his profits to Tsunami Relief out of guilt for casing the tsunami in the first place: he dipped his finger in the Pacific Ocean.
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#142 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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In a tag team match, Kurt Angle teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
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#143 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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White people like Kurt Angle because he makes Malcolm X look like Wayne Brady.
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#144 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Kurt Angle qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
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#145 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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The drummer for Def Leppard once looked at Kurt Angle the wrong way. He got off easy.
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#146 |
Guest
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Kurt Angle once visited the Grim Reaper and his family at Death's summer home in Albany, NY. He punched out Death's youngest son for looking at him wrong, then stole Death Jr's tricycle to make his getaway. Kurt then with the Death's trike, proceeded to win the Indy 500, and several less than memorable NASCAR races.
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#147 |
Guest
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Kurt Angle was present at the fail of the Berlin wall as a roadie for David Hasslehoff.
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#148 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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In the beginning, Vince McMahon created a safe-haven for people away from Kurt Angle. We know this today as the late WCW.
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#149 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Kurt Angle once Olympic Slammed a telemarketer. Over the phone.
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#150 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Germans love David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff loves Kurt Angle.
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#151 |
Guest
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Kurt Angle is actually the one singing during Ashlee Simpson's concerts.
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#152 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Kurt Angle with a handshake. The rest is history.
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#153 |
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Kurt Angle blacked out once. when he woke up, women were naked, ankles were snapped, and a goat was wearing a Kurt Angle t-shirt.
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#154 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Kurt Angle is not bald, his hair doesn't grow out of sheer terror.
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#155 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Kurt Angle once bred a pug and a monkey. The result was Taz
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#156 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Kenny G is allowed to live because Kurt Angle doesn't kill women.
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#157 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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When Kurt Angle goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
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#158 |
I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Kurt Angle was originally cast as the main character of "24", but was replaced by the producers when the managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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#159 |
He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Hulk Hogan isn't Immortal, Kurt Angle just breathed on him.
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#160 |
Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Xero, you stole my Kurt Angle bald fact.
![]() The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Kurt Angle didn't kill you in your sleep. |
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