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05-21-2004, 02:28 AM
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#1 |
Posts: 18,357
  
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SmackDOWN! Captions [5-20-2004]
                      
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05-21-2004, 02:46 AM
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#2 |
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Eddie was too busy posing to notice Thing had been blown up by Rita Repulsa and was now sneaking in to go Rick James on his ass. "I'll use my wrist severing laser if you don't return my cowboy hat back to me!!!" "Laser? You're joking, holmes! You can't cut off my wri-- OW." Charlie was irate. That was HIS and Rico's special pose!!! They say some people's penises are so long they're like another limb. Here, Rico proves that saying is more than just myth. Stamboli wasn't quite sure how to react when Nunzio started doing his wrestler-meeting-Triple-H-and-wanting-a-push impression on him at that moment. Gandalf noted that the Balrog was a lot more impressive last time. As if destroying them wasn't bad enough, Mordecai had to top it off with a powerful rendition of Linkin Park's "Numb." Chavo indicates the IQ of the writers who thought up this crap. Charles Robinson wanted to correct Chavo's application of the Heimlich Manuveur, but the Guerrero was a proud man and dismissed any advice. Chavo had mixed emotions. He'd just won the Cruiserweight Title, but was it really worth becoming a homo? History is made as the most bladderly inefficient Cruiserweight Champion in history is crowned. Cena helped cover Dupree's eyes. Even the Frenchman could not stomach how the Cruiserweight Division had been blitzkrieged, overrun, and humiliated into submission. The bawling was plenty when both Cena and Dupree found out that Bananas in Pajamas had been cancelled. Renee never did trust that Huntus Hilate. Funaki corrects Chavo Classic's early mistake and displays to true IQ reading of the SmackDOWN! writers. Funaki would pay for his horrible mocking of Booker's "Five Time Champion" pose. It finally occurred to Rey, once he found a mirror, that his T-Shirt really did look like crap. Tensions ignite when Rey fails to show up with the promised marijuana. Having outwitted the government in his insider trading scheme, JBL was all smiles. A second later, though, JBL's grin immediately vanished when the SEC Stable made its grand debut. Eddie: That's funny... I feel this powerful force pressing down on me, but I can't see anything there!!! Trainer: *sigh* "See what happens when you masturbate?" |
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05-21-2004, 10:23 AM
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#3 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Eddie turns away, giggling, as the guy with the giant novelty hand accidentally backhands the guy seated next to him. "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, YOUNG MAN, pick yourself off the ground. I said, YOUNG MAN, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need ... to ... be ... unhappy. " A pissed off Eddie Guerrero swore that, before the night was over, he would find the asshole who decapitated his C3PO cutout. Charlie: "Aw, geez, guys... it was my turn to hide in the birthday cake. Got dressed up and everything, too." Rico: "Let's see what I'm giving birth to." *looks down* "Oh boy. Why does this seem oddly familiar?" Stamboli appreciated the effort but ... lets face it, Nunzio just sucked at pantsing. Now on Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Extended Version --- Gandalf's showstopping dance number to "Putting on the Ritz". Mordecai was shocked. He knew that the WWE was killing the Cruiserweight division, but didn't think they'd do it literally! Chavo sighed. Once again, he loses his belt in an intense game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. The reason Spike stays so small: his binge and purge before every match. Chavo Sr: "I'd like to thank all my fans who stood by me while I delivered on my promise to win the Cruiserweight Championship." Robinson: "I KNEW it! You really ARE Edward James Olmos!" "Uh.... OH!" John knew he had to stay strong for his sake and Renee's sake as "Old Yeller" played on the Titantron. Cena: "Oh my God... he's not wearing any pants! Stop the match! STOP THE MATCH!" Renee: "Are you so disgusted by ... how you Americans say it ... my Supersize French fry?" Funaki cannot believe how much dust has accumulated in the cage since Sean O'Haire left. Ref: "Thank you, Booker. This cruiserweight will be perfect for my growing army of the undead." Ever since Rey started hanging out with RVD, the world started to look more ... psychadelic. Sam Beckett (RVD): "Alright, Al, where the hell am I?" Al (Rey): "Your on a show called Smackdown, circa 2004. If you don't get the ratings to go up, then the show will fold within five years, Rob Van Dam will be washing cars for money, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley will be President ... of the United States." Sam: "Excuse me. WWE?" Al: "That's what the WWQ was called before World Wildlife Entertainment sued them." "I'm just coming back from my stint at Fox News and --- boy, let me tell you, that Sean Hannity is a mean drunk." "''Bradshaw has a big fanny?' What the hell?" In the match of the night, Eddie takes on Antman. Trainer #1: "He looks fine to me." Trainer #2 (in the back): "How can you be sure? I'm putting on the rubber gloves!" Eddie: "N-n-noooooooo!!!!" Last edited by El Santo; 05-21-2004 at 01:03 PM. |
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05-21-2004, 10:39 AM
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#4 |
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#1 Senior Elite Member
Posts: 7,886
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Funaki: Smackdown...Numba 1...pffff, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't hold it in any longer. |
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05-21-2004, 01:40 PM
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#5 | |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Anyways, Santo was on FIRE this time around. I'll probably come up with a batch later today, but I'm not up to it right now. |
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05-21-2004, 04:04 AM
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#6 |
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Hey
Posts: 15,662
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With a final painful push Eddie finally managed to get the neferious WWE logo dislodged from his posterior I LOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! Hass looked on in confusion. Was this a fashion show or an abstract art display? Suddenly Rico too began to feel the Passion of the Christ Use your Mouth Nunzio, not you ear OH NO IT'S GODZILLA HOLMES!!!!!!!! Cena and Dupree were distraught to hear that Bob Holly had just married Shane McMahon in private ceremony in Toronto. Just try and guess where this finger's been Booker T's reaction to having found out where Funaki's finger has been |
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05-21-2004, 09:01 AM
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#7 |
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Peeps Unite
Posts: 259
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When I find who put postage stamps on my head and tried to airmail me to Botchnia....... How Haas wished he could play the gay guy. So do we Charles, so do we. Unfortuantely, so did Hunter. The Bull stumbles upon a concentration camp. And the survior has been lonely. VERY lonely. Awesome Triple H: Hey Billy, how do like the new hair colour? And I've got new clothes to match , and..... Billy? If you have one Chavo, and I give you another, how many will you have? Ref:Um...Chavo? You're not performing the Heimlich Manoeveur correctly. Chavo: No, holmes, it says here to hold tightly around the waist and press hard, elevating the ribcage. Spike: Thats my neck you friggin' moron! Chavo: Yeah? Well how the f*** am I supposed to know? Its f***ing as thick as your waist! Chavo: I'm the new WHAT? Never, ever again, would Chavo Classic agree to let Rhyno give him an eye exam and a dental check-up at the same time. "Right, so its says here to grab the guys waist....." Cena's and Rene's reaction when they realised they could no longer watch Friends at 8 pm on Thursdays. What could they possibly watch now? "Why are my hands stuck?" Funaki shows us how many matches hes actually WON since his debut. Booker: "Dude, where the heck have you been putting that hand?" Maybe displaying the Stock Market Ticker on the Titantron wasn't that bright an idea. |
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05-21-2004, 09:05 AM
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#8 |
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Peeps Unite
Posts: 259
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Hey, Lara and I thought of similar captions for the Booker/ Funaki pic.
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05-21-2004, 12:37 PM
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#9 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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El Santo, props for the Quantum Leap one
 
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05-21-2004, 01:18 PM
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#10 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Funaki shows how many people like JBL's push. |
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05-21-2004, 01:47 PM
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#11 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Eddie: Let's see what this unfunny bastard has to say this week.. OR Eddie: My glasses,holmes ! I can't see a thing without my glasses! JBL: How dare ye pilgrems try to steal my pimp juice..whatever that is! Gandalf: You should have killed me when you had the chances,CHARLES!!.... ... wait a minute.. One night only! WWE's Phantom of the Opera starting Mordecai as Sebastion Bach as the Phantom. Chavo Classic: Um,isn't this making the credibility of the title seem meaningless? Ref: Hey! I didn't hear anyone complaining when I also wrote the Al Wilson angle! Now, get ready. Repo Man is coming out and he's going to throw poop at you,Cheech. Cena continues to tortures DuPree by showing him a marathon of Designing Women. RVD: I sense your aura,man! The purple aura! Mysterio: That crazy pothead..That's our RVD! The Bradshaw push would declared dead after a scorpion on his shoulder decided to kill it, by killing him... poop! |
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05-21-2004, 01:59 PM
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#12 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Who ever wrote that is a ****ing idiot. So rick james can't say "I'm rick james bitch!"?
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05-21-2004, 03:18 PM
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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05-21-2004, 03:37 PM
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#14 | |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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05-21-2004, 03:00 PM
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#15 |
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Forum Happy Cat
Posts: 7,884
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Say what you like about the WWE logo, nobody gave a better glute massage. Eddy reveals that he killed The Man From Del Monte "You think this man is a hero, but I'm here tonight to tell you that last night he stuck a post-it reading "faggot" to my forehead using superglue! It won't come off!" With same sex marriages becoming legal in massachusetts, the oversize wedding cake industry was in overdrive. The gay orgy was complete when Rico reached out and grabbed hold of Stevie and Davie Richards. For reasons best known to himself, Johnny The Bull's first instinct when Nunsio hugged him was to start pop-locking The whole thing was going fine until Undertaker's antimatter double showed up Mordecai's career was cut short when, after his second in-ring appearance, his pants reached critical mass. For the second week in a row, the restless soul of Winston Churchill took over a wrestler's body. REF: Chavo, let it go, man. Spike's head is stock to the ring rope and there's noting we can do about it. CHAVO: Dammit! I thought this madness was over when Rhyno left for RAW! When Chavo cheated to retain his belt, wizard-in-training Charles Robinson cast an aging spell upon him As if the aging spell wasn't enough, Chavo was posessed by the spirit of Fred Willard. "Wha happen?" Halfway through the match, as the cameras closed in during the headlock, Renee suddenly noticed a huge zit on the bridge of his nose. Swift thinking by the plucky frenchman stopped there being photographic evidence. Cena and Dupree are told that they can't watch Yu Gi Oh until they finish their homework. They don't take it well. Funaki shows us how many victories he has had in the last two years. After the appalling failure of the stockbroker gimmick, Bradshaw takes a page from Rick Martel's book. After a hard night on the brownies, RVD thought he could fly. Luckily, Rey was able to persuade him to take off from the ground. "Wait - Diana DiGarmo is in the FINAL of American Idol?" Inspired by Rikishi and Scotty, Eddy got into the ring and did The Robot. After Eddy passed out, several of the ring crew decided it would be funny to put makeup on him. |
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05-21-2004, 04:24 PM
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#16 | |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Awesome.I'm forced to do a followup: The old man tries to convince everyone that he's really an aged Chavo Guerrero II, while the man standing next to him is his son, an aged Chavo Guerrero III. |
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05-21-2004, 03:27 PM
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#17 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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In continuing with WrstleMania's "Where it all begins again" phrase, Bradshaw was made aware that he was chosen to play the New Red Rooster. |
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05-21-2004, 05:14 PM
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#18 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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lioke all movies the first was better....sorry
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05-21-2004, 05:51 PM
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"Mr. Tuesday Morning"
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"Oh crap, where's the bathroom? I think I dropped a Tamale!" |
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05-21-2004, 06:09 PM
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#20 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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I havent done these in ages... Even though I only did it once, it was fun, and Ive decided to give it another go...
Eddie smiled. His new tag partner, Handy, agreed to take his place in the JBL/Eddie feud. For, this hand had taken years of abuse of whacking and jacking Bradshaw... (Ive really got nothing for this one...) Eddie was pissed. Someone spilt taco sause all over JBL's hat. JBL's hand, after his friend, Handy, turned on him. Charlie was upset. He was left out of the family portrait. Rico deciding to tape segments for "Rico's Become Flamboyant and Fit" video was uncalled for. Even the WWE logo called Nunzio a homo after this... That Rhyno... This time gluing the damn cross up Mordecai's nose... Little did the fans at home relise that Mordecai is really a robot and Undertaker is controlling him from the stage. But some fans in the front row saw it! Chavo Jr.: So dad, whats the number of the day!? Chavo Classic: Dose! Chavo Jr. (Under his breath): In English, idoit! Again, I got nothing... Chavo was desperatly trying to restrain Spike from eating his own fingers. Spike: But Vince hasnt let me eat in a year! C'mon! Robinson: Hold still, you got somthing in your nose... Even Chavo Classic knew that he was f***ed when Chavo Jr. said that he was gay... Rene was embarrassed from Cena's "no teeth" face. Rene: That feels so great! OH YEAH! Cena (Yelling): THATS MY ARM YOU IDIOT! Rene got Cena back by doing his Elvis lip to embarrass Cena. Seconds later, Shawn Michaels debuted on SmackDown, kicking the shit out of Funaki for calling God a homo... Booker couldnt believe it when he saw it on the side tron, so he looked away... Apparently, a PMS rip off was debuting, calling themselves SMP... (Suck My Penis) Director: CUT! CUT! The sparkle is supposed to be on his TEETH, not in the crowd, dumbass! Even Rey thought Purple was gay... RVD: Dude, where's my car? Rey: Well, its right behind you... In the ring... The thing that looks like JBL... RVD: But that's... Uhhhhhh... Duuuuude...................... Rey: See kids, unreal logic ALWAYS puts pot heads to sleep... "They found me... I dunno how, but they've found me... RUN FOR IT MARTY!" Extreme Tic Tac Toe... Every game you lose, you lose blood... Eddie should have thought about what he was getting himself into... Trainer: Hehe, look, when I put the flashlight here, it looks like he's talking into a bunch of robot penises! **Sigh** I could have done better... I didnt have many ideas today... |
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05-21-2004, 07:58 PM
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Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Excellent photo's and captions this week!
Here goes, and these captions are a movie-free zone. Eddie: So I woke up this morning, naked as the day I was born, sore head and a blood-stained cowboy hat next to me. Anyone good at Cluedo? JBL: Colonel Mustard, in the Library with a Lead Pipe! In a bizzare flashback Kenny Everett decided to inflate Jackie's ass instead of his own. (sorry, but you'll probably only get that if you're from the UK and over 30) Rico - The only creature on the WWE Roster to have more limbs than Dave 'Centaur' Batista' Nunzio: Quick Johnny, get down! The glass ceiling is shaving your head flat! Mordecai or Bjorn Again - which one gets your vote for best Abba tribute band? Mordecai: Mamma Mia......here I go again.......my, my......just how much I miss you..... Chavo: We'll name that tune in two! Other chavo: yeah...... Chavo: Tell Me! Spike: No! Uuurrrggghh... Chavo: I NEED TO KNOW THAT TUNE! Ref: No, it's not the winner takes it all, and it's not the eye of the tiger. Besides your not allowed 2 guesses! Chavo Snr apologises for blowing the 'Name that tune' competition, and forever losing the opportunity to bring back credibility to the Cruiserweight title. Rene: Hey John........I can't see me! John and Rene were so overcome by Rene's 'I can't see me' gag, that the pair were on the floor laughing for the entirety of the commercial break. When Cena kept laughing, Rene's paranoia kicked in and he left in the huff. Funaki: Smell Your Mom! Booker T and the ref had a hard time figuring this one out - just who was that wrestler with the long hair and Jamie Noble's old denim cut-offs? JBL: I was right - it was Colonel Mustard wasn't it? Mysterio: Will someone tell that big twat that it wasn't Colonel Mustard! RVD: It was Colonel Mustard! Rey: No. It wasn't. RVD: I'll kick your ass if you keep saying that! Rey: Rob, it was Professor Plum! Besides aren't we supposed to be a tag team? JBL: Plum? No, no, no......any financial analyst worth his salt would never have missed that...... While Eddie swept the canvas looking for his lost contact, and D'von had a short nap, Eddie couldn't help but marvel at how effective Domestos bleach is at removing stubborn blood stains from the mat. Trainer: I can see the pub from here! |
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05-21-2004, 08:47 PM
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#22 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Of course, when Eddie lets the fans pour soda and popcorn and even lets the fans spit in Bradshaw's hat, Bradshaw goes out and buys a new one, but when there is blood on his hat and Eddie has it in his hand...JBL just has to whine and complain and yell at Eddie to give him his hat back when he can just go out and buy a new one like he did last time without the blood stain in it. |
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05-22-2004, 04:47 PM
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#23 | |||
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Okay, all you compliment-fishers...
Quote:
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Now do me... |
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05-22-2004, 01:50 AM
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#24 |
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Nowhere Man made me sad.
 Were any of mine actually good? |
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05-22-2004, 01:37 PM
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Peeps Unite
Posts: 259
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Quote:
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05-22-2004, 02:10 PM
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Triple A's a bitch
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Yay or nay? |
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05-23-2004, 02:09 PM
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#27 | |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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05-22-2004, 04:32 PM
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#28 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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After the brutal match he had at Judgment Day, the fans knew they were going to see a "new" Eddie Guerrero on SmackDown! What they didn't expect were the extra fingers growing out of the back of his left hand. When making giant burritos, it's important to have all of your ingredients laid out before hand so you don't run into a situation like this. Mr. Guerrero remembered the tortillas, remembered the salsa, but ay caramba, he forgot the meat and cheese! JBL: Yeah, that's right! I called the whole Democratic Party a homo! Charlie Haas' new "Mister Vicarious" gimmick was a big hit with lonely, pathetic wrestling geeks around the world. Agent Smith watched him die. This was impossible... The new WWE Pull-String Love Dolls had a tendency to be a little overzealous. That's right! Come on down to Crazy Mordecai's House of Napalm! Got a small Asian neighbor causing you trouble? Have we got a product for you! My product is so good, Jim Ross of WWE.com proudly proclaims it's a "BAH GAWD STUNNER!" So come on down! WWE Classic Theatre presents Hamlet. How many decades has it been since Chavo Classic was a credible threat to any sort of lightweight title? Twizzlers' new Electric Blue flavor was in high demand. REF: Not only are you the champ, you're a homo! CLASSIC: Que? CLASSIC: Ay, dios mio... I jus' keeding! John didn't quite get the gist of "Guess Who," but fortunately Rene was thinking on his feet. And now, we return to "WWE Midcarders Watching the Undertaker and Kane versus Kronik." Further proof that the mangled carcass of Rene Dupree is still the most over heel on SmackDown! FUNAKI: Oh, yeah? Light back at you, mothel****el! The first-ever "How many hands can we get on Funaki's face" match left many fans scratching their heads. JBL: Hehe. And then I said "Who put 'at shelf 'ere?" Hyuck hyuck! Yes, it was morphin' time, but...where was the rest of his costume? RVD: Whoa, man! It's like Zordon just totally forgot your shirt, dude! JBL was excited at first to hear the steady beeping, because he thought it meant that the TitanTron was going to show this week's "24," but it turned out to be the Push Timer getting lower. Stevie Richards after his prison sentence ended... EMT: Check this out, guys! (Deep voice) Eddie? It is not your time... You still have your three-month feud with Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn to finish... |
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05-22-2004, 04:57 PM
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Triple A's a bitch
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05-22-2004, 05:38 PM
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#30 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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"'If you can read this you've been champ fpr too long signed HHH'...I wonder what that's supposed to mean?" |
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05-22-2004, 06:28 PM
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#31 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Nobody understood why Eddie was grinning as Invisible Steven Richards serviced the champion. Eddie apologises for bleaching the Undertaker's hat. John Bradshaw Layfield curteously thanks his fan. A childbirth incident gone horribly wrong, Rico's baby exits hand first. Johnny was disturbed by Nunzio's "comradery hug," but when he tried to slip a dollar in his tights, he was downright freaked. In an attempt to alienate another demographic, the WWE introduces their new "Salem Witch Trial" angle -OR- Mordecai smirked. Little did the audience know, he was naked under the robe. -OR- Moments later, Rico came out and chewed Mordecai out for wearing white after labor day (I know, it's not after labor day, but cut me some slack. He prolly won't be on Smackdown by then.  ) Mordeai's new finisher: the Showtune from Hell. Chavo classic proves to JBL that Latinos aren't stupid by showing he can count the Gurerros in the ring. "OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!" Cena managed to get Dupree to tap out by doing his Jim Carrey impression. ...Renee got his revenge by doing his best Jerry Lewis impression. Like a comic book, the image above Dupree's head reflects what he's thinking about...There's a good reason this shot is only of the upper body. Hey Funaki, how many times will you appear on Smackdown this year? Funaki attempts to do Booker's Spinaroonie, only to get stopped in mid hand-shake by an enraged Booker. Bradshaw announces that he'll be starring in the upcoming remake of "Three's Company." Rey Mysterio Cringes, knowing he's next to be fed to the Undertaker. RVD: You sold me PENCIL SHAVINGS? Dude, that is SO uncool. John, your WWE spelling be word is "integrity." Layfield: .... Thinking Quick, Devon screams "Triple H!" And Eddie reflexively assumed the position... Paramedic: I don't understand it. How'd he fit the entire WWE title in his mouth? And what are the Tag Team titles doing in there? Hey! That's my watch! |
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05-22-2004, 09:42 PM
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#32 | |
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05-23-2004, 02:17 PM
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#33 |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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... There is always one that looks totally made for a caption
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05-23-2004, 05:41 PM
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#34 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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This is the last time Chavo Classic accepts favors from Fifi |
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05-23-2004, 06:29 PM
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#35 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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This is just a transparent reminder to Corky that I did captions for Judgment Day and RAW, and if he were to include some in the Best Captions of 2004 thread (despite their incredible tardiness) when he updates for this edition of SD, reward would follow.
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05-23-2004, 07:12 PM
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#36 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Cheater!
*slides a briefcase of money under the table to Corky in exchange for archiving my Judgement Day Captions* |
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05-23-2004, 07:16 PM
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#37 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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*In a true "24" plot twist, Loose Cannon managed to switch the briefcase. When Corky opens it...BLAMMO!*
LC (in cheesy British accent): I will return the money once I have what I want. NM: What do you want? LC: I want all of the captions I've done all year archived. LOOPY: But you just blew up Corky! LC: Oh...bollocks. |
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Hybrid Mode
