Lita's wrestling school put on hold.

[FourFifty]

(ap) Amy Dumass’ dreams of owning her own wrestling school have become very bleak within the past 48 hours. Due to many mishaps that wrestling fans everywhere are calling “Botches” the school looks like it won’t make it’s January 11th, 2005 opening.
Allan Ways, head of construction, made the following comments- “Lita wanted to plan everything herself… even design the blue print. Unfortunately for her it’s not good to cross power lines with running water, there were no doors, we cannot build a “Room Of Requirement,” and her ring was 8 feet off the ground with no stairs or ladders. If that’s not bad enough the sign that she ordered came from a company that makes neon signs for Chinese restaurants. Who would want to learn how to wrestle at Lita’s House Of Rice?”
Wrestling Fans everywhere rejoiced at this news, however. Life long fan and part time cult follower Daniel Cea stated “Dude, she can’t do anything right. Her promo’s suck, she can’t wrestle without screwing up, she can’t sing, and the only thing that makes her look good is her hair and tits.” Then Daniel Cea was told that Lita tried to get a wrestling school up. “!!!!! Okay, okay, okay, where’s the camera? Hey, did I make it on Punk’d? I mean, she even botched being Hispanic!”
Some people did not take the wrestling school as a joke. Independent wrestler known as The Messiah was quoted as “Well, I figured my wrestling skill can’t get any worse. I was also hoping that she could upgrade my persona. Ever since that Mordecai dude showed up on the scene I’ve got nothing.” Lita’s potential school also attracted former WWE World Heavyweight Champion Bill Goldberg. He said “I wunt to be able to kut uh pwomo wit ouit soundin leik uh gwunting wetaad. *grunts*”
Mixed reactions are flowing over this announcement. When we reached Lita for comment she was too busy trying to get the person in the mirror to stop mimicking her.