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06-28-2004, 04:45 PM
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#1 |
Posts: 18,357
  
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WWE Great Nazi Beerhall Bash Captions
Have fun!!!
 EDIT: Oly crap! 52 pictures!!!!!                                                    
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06-28-2004, 04:48 PM
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#2 |
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Posts: 18,357
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We'll get the obvious one out of the way.
Paul Bearer reacts to news of Bradshaw's. And the other obvious one. When they found out about Bradshaw's victory, thousands of fat, ugly internet geeks like this one decided to kill themselves. |
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06-28-2004, 04:51 PM
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#3 |
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Guest
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Have to bring back one of my old ones with this.
Hass was just about to go over Reigns when out of nowhere "Rico" got transfered iinto the " Golden Box of Buried Gimmicks" |
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06-28-2004, 04:54 PM
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#4 |
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Eh, **** it!
Posts: 2,896
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lol at the title.
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06-28-2004, 04:57 PM
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#5 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Some great stuff
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06-28-2004, 05:09 PM
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#6 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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Apparently, Paul Bearer is not a big fan of oatmeal It's raining men! Alleluyeah its'... Too bad wrestling is "fake" |
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06-28-2004, 05:15 PM
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#7 |
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Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
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Eddie: "Oh crap..the Jedi's are really going to feel this one" |
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06-28-2004, 05:24 PM
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#8 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Renee's Riverdance routine was so amazing it swept RVD right off his feet. RVD was well on his way to an amazing split-legged moonsault until the glass ceiling gave him the most violent crotching in WWE history. When fellow WWE wrestlers got wind of Bradshaw's impending victory, their brains spontaneously combusted from the lack of logic. There was something quite disturbing about ripping a person's heart out as you fucked him. Booker's horrendous Running Man routine was enough to knock his remaining two opponents out. The new NAACP version of Forrest Gump was received with mild praise. Faced with an impending pinfall, Booker knew there was only one way to possibly escape losing: Rub Cena's hair. Despite having a banner sticking out the side of his head, Cena was still man enough to interact with the fans before seeking medical attention. Shocked that Brock Lesnar had returned to the WWE, the referee spasmed out of existence. Test (at home): "Sonofabitch!" Tired of Rey stealing all the attention with his superhero masks, Chavo decides to websling himself over the crowd and out of the arena. Rey Mysterio: yet another victim of Kevin Kool-Aid. As Chavo worked feverishly to remove the Rhyno-tampered boots, Rey Mysterio couldn't help but wonder what referee Charles Robinson had eaten to allow him to shine light out of his ass. Moments after this picture is taken, Chavo is once again sent to the Time Out Chair for botching the Brock Lock. In the Escher moment of the night, Rey was able to lay on the far side of the ring apron and grab the near top rope while touching the far left ring turnbuckle with his feet. That's Rey for ya... always holding the Cruiserweight down. Rey: "So THIS is where the cream filling has been!!! I'm gonna ta-- ewwwww!!" Rey was well aware Vince treated the CW division like dogs, but when he started doing it literally, that was the last straw. Torrie: "Oooh, Funaki, are you checking out my ass? Teehee!" Funaki: "Yeah, I figure that's where your acting skills come from..." Even though he was in the middle of a match, Billy Gunn couldn't resist calling for a martini--shaken, not stirred. Kenzo smiles as he watches the effects after Billy eats some of his "Special Candy." In the Loose Cannon Markout Moment of the Night, moments after this shot was taken, Billy Gunn unleashed a vicious RKO to pick up the victory. Torrie does what she usually does when she has to wrestle or act well: choke. Charles Robinson found Sable's new Self Love Enforcer gimmick strangely arousing. You know Torrie's getting a little vain when she uses a ref's head as an arm rest in the middle of a match. Sable was crushed when she found out Lita had fucked Kane before her. Knowing this would take a while, the ref decided to take a nap until Sable actually got Torrie's shoulders pinned before starting the three count. Torrie was rather upset when she finally figured out a quarterback wasn't change. Billy: "Hey, c'mon! *punch* Can't ya just lemme *punch* pass? *punch* Pleeeeeeease??? *twack*" When Billy has a wardrobe malfunction, Mordecai the Elevating Censor steps in the make the save... in one direction at least. "Thank goodness I'm not a WWE champion before a Bull Rope Match right now!" Fans were horrified as Bradshaw began carrying out his extermination plan "of all inferior peoples, one person at a time." Fans were shocked when Eddie kidnaped Rapunzel and dragged her around the ring. Bradshaw found out the hard way why you don't swallow Stephanie's cream filling. The WWE Genetics Lab outdoes itself again when it fuses Bradshaw to a two-tailed monkey version of Eddie Guerrero. With one powerful thrust, Eddie Guerrero smacks Bradshaw's head off of his neck. Internet fans everywhere rejoice. More to come later... I gotta get back to work. |
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06-28-2004, 05:31 PM
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#9 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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lol at the Torrie/Funaki one
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06-28-2004, 05:38 PM
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#10 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Too..Many..Pics! Oh well,this should be fun.
Even Nash with a mask on is still Nash. Torrie: I'll learn how to act..you'll see! ... Now look at my boobs! Bearer: Sucks for you! If only you knew what I'm doing in this cage.. I drank alotta Kool-Aid! Mordecai: Thank you,clitoris. OR Mordecai: Pull my finger,Sean. O'Haire: I'm not telling you any- Mordecai: I didn't ask for a psalm! Pull it! ..When suddenly Taker got an idea: Random Finger Puppets! WWE decided to forgive Bradshaw for his recent mistakes and give him the title. Too bad he celebrated with screaming "White Power!" CLASSIC CAPTION REVISITED- JR: UNPRETTIER! or The battle of the two heavyweights that couldn't wrestle worth a damn! Who will win and will it really matter!? Only on PPV!!! ..ROCK!! You'd be hiding too if you knew that you're next fued was with JBL. |
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06-28-2004, 06:02 PM
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#11 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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RVD: Screw this Frenchman! I'm going to TNA! Taker: Howdya work this here TITY machine?! Torrie: Hey guys! Wanna be with a REAL woman? Spike: Sure. Know where we can find her? Meanwhile, the ref is still hoping that Taker can work the machine. Rey can only take so much of Chavo asking if he knows Spiderman. "Hi,I'm WWE Superstar Eddie Guerrero. If you have recently jobbed a title to a uber-pushed jackass with barely a talent,call this number that will appear on the screen. Operators are standing by.. oh, a caller by the name 'Heribo' is it?" |
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06-28-2004, 06:16 PM
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#12 |
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Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Given I never watched the GAB because I suspected it might be crap, then these captions may be;
1. Crapper than the GAB 2. Contain a recurring theme Be warned....... Ref: Don't do the dance. Rene: Eet ees de French Teeckler. Ref: No. That's the name of my wifes vibrator. Rene: I know. Ref: What? When RVD's split legged moonsault resulted in a torn crotch garment, the homo in the red shirt couldn't help but leap to his feet in joy. Booker cutting a promo usually results in wrestlers sleeping backstage, but this one was just too boring. While Rene shagged Rob, the ref gave Booker T a handjob. Meanwhile Cena was 'choking on T's nuts'. Worst time to break into a rendition of 'Night Fever' ever. After Booker T fell asleep during his own promo, John was kind enough to help him to the back. Sadly, Booker T is heavier than he looks and John dropped him. That WWE and their wacky laws of gravity! Rey faking an injury so as to distance himself from the worst PPV ever. Chavo trying to look impressive failed miserably as the ref did one-handed pushups in the ring. Chavo trying to explain to Charles Robinson how you manage to fit a cruiserweight into a shoebox. 619? That's not the number for pizz*THUD*. Chavo tumbles, still trying to decide on the mushrooms. Chavo: Can you see it now? Rey: no. Chavo: What about now? Rey: There's no pizza coming, dude. Chavo: What was all that 619 shit? Rey: It's a move. Chavo: But I want pizza  WWE Creative didn't believe that Rey looked strange enough with a mask on, so they gave him the CW title to wear as a collar. Next week sees the introduction of the gimp chain. Was this worth the $2 of your $35 PPV? Torrie Wilson in a bikini? Kenzo: Does anyone give a shit who wins this match? Billy*Trying to raise hand.....gives up*: Nope. Torrie: That's the bastard that airbrushed my playboy photos! Torrie *thinking*: I bet nobody knows I'm actually Goldbird! Holly: Does anyone give a shit who wins this match? Mordecai*Trying to raise hand.....gives up*: Nope. Eddie once again gets landed with the job of dragging dead weight around the arena. Angle: You are the worst main-eventer since Bob Holly! Eddie: Me? Angle: No. That idiot with the belt! I KILLED SMACKDOWN! I KILLED SMACKDOWN! Heyman: Honestly, I paid by cheque! Now pour the cement please! The reason D'von cuts his sleeves off is because his full T shirt reads: D'Von: AVAILABLE to suck BALLS Undertaker shows the crowd his new gimmick: AIR GUITAR! |
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06-28-2004, 06:29 PM
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#13 | |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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Quote:
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06-28-2004, 07:19 PM
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#14 |
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I lied. It was me.
Posts: 3,376
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Eh... Inspiration sucks for these.
 Rene was disappointed. His curtsey just wasn't the same without the skirt. The boys appreciated Booker T's "special" brownies which he guaranteed would get them going. Unfortunately he forgot to mention the Ex-lax box was where he read the guarantee. The fans were not impressed when Booker stopped mid-match to scratch his ass. Cena: Hey Book, scratch my back. Booker: Right here? Cena: A little lower. Booker: Man, any lower and I'll be scratching your ... Freak! Zach Gowen makes a surprise return to the WWE... Chavo didn't think it would be THIS hard to help Rey figure out how to do a cartwheel. Rey wasn't too impressed. The new WWE headbands were obviously made to fit one size...too bad so few people had a head the size of Hunter... Eddie singing- I'm a cowboy, yes I am. (rep for reference  ) Eddie: Told you I could ride that bull. Ref: pssst...Eddie that's not a bull, it's JBL. Eddie: What do you mean it's not a bull? If it charges like a bull and it's full of bullshit...then it's gotta be a bull. Paul couldn't figure out why someone hadn't tossed him a vine to save him from the quicksand...that's the way it always worked in cartoons. I wonder what this lever does... oh shit. *whistles as he walks away* Where the hell is Tarzan?! |
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06-28-2004, 07:34 PM
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#15 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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YES! I was able to pull one off for every pic! Didn’t read the others, sorry if I reused someone’s joke.
Yes Renee, dance! Dance away! Celebrate the fact that WWF Superstars is back on TV! That was a lot more impressive when Vader did it. These guys just saw the ratings for The GAB. How did Cena pin RVD so easily? He just told RVD that his arm was a bong. And Booker T notices that only four fans are still awake. Much like myself, Booker T fell asleep in mid match. Zach Gowen made a surprising return to the WWE by pinning Booker T. And Cena leaves with his US heavyweight title… now let’s read his mind… *now if that ending wasn’t predictable as hell!* Luther doesn’t quite understand the whole concept of the “leg-drop.” Nor did he understand the “head-lock.” Who cares what’s going on between Chavo and Rey? The ref is about to hit Steven Richards with the RKO!!! Rey’s artistic representation of the backstage attitude toward the GAB. Chavo: One week you’re Spider Man, and the next week you’re the Silver Surfer! Who are you? Chavo: Brock taught me this one when I told him I surfed the internet! Rey: *SMACK*OUCH! Who the hell knocked the glass ceiling on its side? Chavo: Hey Chico! It’s time you you feel the Razor’s Edge! Rey: The sad thing is Scott Hall is more Hispanic than you. Chavo:  Lita taught Rey how to do a school boy roll up. God: Okay, the best part of the PPV is over, I’m leaving. Jamie’s plan worked! Give Rhyno’s hand lotion to Torrie and Funaki and Jamie can get all the ass shots he wants! The sad thing is this is the best Billy has looked in his life. |
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06-28-2004, 07:36 PM
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#16 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Billy: !!!!Kenzo: But I won’t be buried! Billy: !!!!Worst RKO Ever when in doubt, make fun of Randy Orton And after this match the 12-15 male demographic audience stopped watching. And in this round of “What’s a worse disgrace” there are two choices 1. The American Flag being worn as clothing 2. This match. If you guessed one or two, you’re right! I wonder where the ref’s hand is…  Not really a caption, but am I the only one to think that Torrie looking like a freaking cocker spaniel? We all know that Sable’s wrestling skills are sub-par, but are they that bad where she only needs to put one shoulder on the mat for a pin? Don’t make fun of Torrie in this pic, okay? You would have a contact high also if you just came out of RVD’s dressing room. Holly: You’re the reason why The Messiah won’t be able to break into mainstream wrestling! Mordi: Mess-whuzza? Holly: He was in XPW… Mordi: Ex pee doublewhat? Holly knew that Vince was up to something when he said Holly was going to get “elevated.” JR: BAH GAWD! THING LITTERALLY RIPPED OFF MORDICHI’S WRIST WITH THAT TOP WRIST LOCK FROM HELL BBQSAUCENOSELLJOHNCENAWITHTHEROCKBOTTOMSTONECOLDSALUTE! Tazz: Get the hell off my show! JBL: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT A NAZI! THE FUEHRER WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THAT! Believe me, if you were carrying JBL for two months you’d be about ready to hang yourself also. The red cross feels awfully silly for giving JBL a second chance at his job with the blood bank. And at this very moment history was made with professional wrestling… Okay, not really. I was just trying to delude myself into thinking that this PPV was above “In Your House” quality. And if you get the GAB dvd you’ll get a feature that everyone is looking forward to. Kurt Angle’s apology on behalf of the WWE. Eddie had to end this match, and he had to end it quicky. His spastic colon was acting up again. |
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06-28-2004, 07:37 PM
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#17 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Eddie knew that something was wrong when Vince McMahon told him that his tenure as champion would had a fairy tale ending. “Ese! You gotta help me! I’m being chased by three bears! There’s a dispute over some porridge, don’t ask questions!” “So you see, the Great American Bash, the concept that Jim Crockets promotions and the National Wrestling Alliance has brought to professional sports has captivated the American audience. This collection of the greatest athletes in battle traveling from one end of the United States to the other is what big time competitive athletics is all about…” -Ric Flair, 1988 I bet he’s eating is words right now. Bubba: Hey Taker! I stole the cream filli-*GAG-CHOKE-COUGH!!!! Taker: YOU STOLE THE CREAM FILLING!?!?!?! Even though it was filled with candy, Paul’s urn still looked kinda creepy. Paul does his artistic representation of WWE fans that BOUGHT the GAB. Next week on SmackDown, the New Tag Team champions! (as if the titles could be degraded anymore) The Dudley Boys make sure their offering is still alive and kicking before setting it upon the Alter of Helmsly. Things got tense at the staring contest entered the 5th hour. Taker: AND THAT’S FOR STEALING MY FUGGIN’ CREAM FILLING!!! Lita taught The Undertaker how to do The Alabama Slam. WHASSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUP!?!?!?! God: Whew! Made it back just it time! Two second too late, The Undertaker find’s the arena’s self destruction switch. Paul: Did you ever know you’re my hero? Taker: Shut up. Paul: Everything I would like to be…. I hate that song. Shut up! Paul: I can fly higher than an ea*glug glug glug* Taker: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!!! BUT NOOOO, YOU DIDN’T LISTEN!!! When Cream Filling goes bad. It’s sad when the gates of hell open up to end a PPV. |
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06-28-2004, 07:43 PM
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#18 | |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Quote:
Awesome stuff
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06-28-2004, 07:45 PM
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#19 |
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Posts: 4,834
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The JBL effect... |
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06-28-2004, 07:49 PM
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#20 |
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Posts: 4,834
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[
Billy: I'm still the 1999 King of the Ring Winner...I'm still the 1999 King of the Ring Winner...I'm still the 1999 King of the Ring Winner... |
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06-28-2004, 07:53 PM
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#21 |
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Posts: 4,834
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Charles Robinson ...in the process of saving Mysterio from the rather large bug that had crawled on his back |
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06-28-2004, 07:58 PM
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#22 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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"And now we return to The Young And The Restless" Rene: Girl I wanna make you sweat! Rene: Heempa! Medic! Booker-T: I'm a medic! *Revives RVD* RVD: Danke Sir! John Cena: Need a medic! Micheal Cole: Modified Bulldog by Haas. Jamie Noble: (Visioning Torrie as 400 pounds at the moment) Whoa big fella...easy...easy... Why does Kenzo Suzuki act like a deer in a headlights while applying pressure holds? "C-A-L-L-A-T-T" MORE LATER BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH |
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06-28-2004, 08:21 PM
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#23 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Everyone RULES!
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06-28-2004, 08:31 PM
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#24 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Oh, man, that's a hell of a lot of pictures. It's gonna take be forever to come up with decent captions for these. Oh well; looks like I'm pulling an all-nighter tonight!
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06-29-2004, 12:17 AM
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#25 |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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With much greater talent like John Cena and Eddie Guerrero on Smackdown, wrestling fans are left to wonder why HHH used the invisible crucifix on Renee Dupree. Renee: Rob, you are supposed to do the frog splash from the top rope to the mat! Fucking stoner. Cena's sneeze was enough to knock all three men senseless. Brian Hebner wears a Ronald Reagan mask in honor of his recent passing. After Booker chokeslammed his opponents, he had nothing left to do but chokeslam himself. Eddie definitely needs to give Booker a lesson on how to lift a wallet. Ref: *talking on loudspeaker, with hands on hips* MWA HA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA! Cena: Wait a minute, Booker wasn't going for my wallet. He stole my mojo! *Ref puts pinky on his lips* Those weren't very good, hopefully I can do better ones tomorrow. |
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06-29-2004, 12:19 AM
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#26 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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too...much...cream...filling |
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06-29-2004, 12:47 AM
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#27 |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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Sweet, i'm WWE champion, but it's a guaran-dam-teed shame this belt loses all credibility just because i'm touching it |
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06-29-2004, 01:27 AM
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#28 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,115
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06-29-2004, 01:45 AM
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#29 |
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1-0 TPWW Chess Master
Posts: 17,211
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Championship Belt: 250 dollars
Bull rope for bull rope match: 10 dollars Watching Bradshaw win the title and thus making Eddie's title run look like shit: Priceless |
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06-29-2004, 01:50 AM
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#30 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,115
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Oh god you make me watch all of GAB then kill me you are heartless! |
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06-29-2004, 02:17 AM
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#31 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Hold on! You mean Vince actually IS letting a Nazi win a title that I used to hold???" Bradshaw winning the WWE title was so bad, Eddie went back to drugs. Alex Wright (on the Titantron): "Dammit! If only I'd come on board when WCW was bought, I could be WWE champion!!!" Van Helsing didn't appreciate Mr. Hyde's jeering. Leave it to Heyman to take entertainment to the next level by attempting to consume a whole cement truckload of cream filling. Offscreen: "But Paul! The oatmeal will help lower your cholesterol!" Bearer: "LOWER cholesterol? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" It occurred to Heyman that maybe he needed some glasses when he went to smack Bubba in the cheek and missed. Leave it to the Undertaker to hold TWO men down. Taker: "You mean I could have just been a NAZI instead of a stupid cowboy and I'd be WWE champ by now???" In the comedic segment of the night, Taker shows off his backwards ventriloquist abilities by unveiling Bubba, the Talking Dummy. Taker: "Not that I mind this, ya know, but wrong cream filling." Indeed, there was nothing more patriotic than having KISS run in and destroy the Dudleys' credibility even more by pinning them and winning the WWE Tag Titles. Undertaker simulates the flash of an idea O.J. Simpson had the night he went to Nicole's house ten years ago... "Okay, so this is the lever I pull to officially bury the credibility of the WWE Title, right?" At this moment, Paul was starting to regret coming on Fear Factor. The highlight of the night was the unveiling of the world's largest marshmellow. |
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06-29-2004, 02:18 AM
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#32 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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This was going to be a pic of Paul Bearer showing Steph why they call him "The Fat Man" but due to too much wasted bandwidth the WWE couldn't load all of the pic onto their website. |
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06-29-2004, 02:33 AM
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#33 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Shoulda stayed in the back... And suddenly it occurred to her: Lita had slept with more men than Torrie had!!! Many fans agreed that the Quaker Oats Chowdown was probably the second best segment of the night, after the Mysterio/Chavo match of course. Kenzo was in serious trouble until a random Detroit Red Wing skated by and fired a devastating slapshot at Billy's stomach. After Eddie lost the title and reverted back to alcholism, the writers took the hint and had him unveil his new gimmick: Ed "The Extra-Long Garden Snake" Guerroberts.
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06-29-2004, 02:37 AM
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#34 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Credit 91 for the idea.
Having watched the audience endure the two and a half hours of agony, Dr. Takervorkian finally flipped the switch and put the fans out of their misery. |
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06-29-2004, 02:41 AM
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#35 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Just like a baby at the bottom of a trash-can, Paul must eat his way to freedom |
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06-29-2004, 02:49 AM
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#36 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Belty:NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! |
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06-29-2004, 02:50 AM
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#37 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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*and now a moment of silence for the credibility of Belty... it shall be missed...  *
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06-29-2004, 03:11 AM
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#38 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
That had me in tears.
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06-29-2004, 02:49 PM
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#39 | |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Quote:
With Vince going with Bradshaw to lead the Smackdown roster for the next few months, they had to give Eddie a new gimmick in midcard hell: Eduardo "La Serpiente Borracha" Guerrero. |
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06-29-2004, 03:39 PM
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#40 |
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"Autobots transform"
Posts: 2,551
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John Cena "That's some good shit man" |
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Linear Mode
