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Old 09-27-2004, 09:25 PM   #1
Xero
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Taboo Tuesday Press Conference Captions
Again, why not?
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Old 09-27-2004, 09:34 PM   #2
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Triple H: My finger can hold ANYONE down! Anyone wana try me?!
Fan with Shotgun: Yeah, ME...
Triple H: I stand corrected...


Ric: What do you mean I'm not wearing any pants? This is the new fad! Invisipants! WOOOOO!
Trish: God...


Shawn: (Yelling) IF I CAN ONLY HAVE HIM PUT ME IN THE MAIN EVENT EIGHT MORE TIMES, I'D BE HAPPY! (Whispering) That would be great!
Stacy: Uh, Shawn...
Shawn: Oh no... Did I just say the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet again!?


Ric: This red pill tastes funny...


WWE wants YOU... The average Hoss, to participate in the $1,000,000 RAW Hoss Search!


Trish: Oop... Did I do that?
Coach: Mmm... Farts...


HBK: Raar! Raar! I have claws! I'm a kitty cat!


Dave: I'll give you a hint... It aint no gun!


Triple H needed Goldberg's security after what happened at the WrestleMania press conference...
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Old 09-27-2004, 09:38 PM   #3
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Trish: Wow no wonder the whole airplane incident was such a big deal! I guess it really is that small!
Flair: Just touch it baby! WOOOOO!
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Old 09-27-2004, 09:57 PM   #4
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HHH: I'd like to welcome all of you here to the commemoration of my 300th World Title reign...



RIC: Wanna ride Space Mountain?
TRISH: No!
RIC: Splash Mountain?
TRISH: No!
RIC: Big Thunder Mountain?
TRISH: No!
RIC: The Country Bear Jamboree?
TRISH: What the--?



HHH: (squeaky voice) Hey, congratulations on winning the title again, Hunter! (normal voice) Thanks, Mister Lefty! (squeaky voice) You're the greatest wrestler ever!
TRISH: Why the hell is he talking to his hand?
SHAWN: I don't know. It was Vince's idea.
VINCE: This guy is gold!



DAVE: Thanks for leading me to my seat, Ric.
RIC: You're welcome, but now aren't you sorry you didn't listen to me?
DAVE: I always thought that "You'll go blind" was just an expression...



DAVE: Ric, you're such a dick! You told me this was the Taboo Tuesday press conference, not a T.A.T.U. concert!



"Trishtanka" was not exactly the best way to reach out to the Native American population.



SHAWN: ...so ah grabbed 'er boobies an'...
COACH: Dude, his Clinton impression owns!



DAVE: So, I'm glad that I could get this opportunity to let all the WWE fans know that I'm not just a monosyllabic ape who dresses in short shorts. I'm a sophisticated thirty-something man of intelligence.
REPORTER: Well, we're glad to set the record straight.
DAVE: Straight? What, you think I'm gay or something? RAAAR! DAVE SMASH! MUST CHANGE INTO TIGHTS!

(Again, way too much set-up, not nearly enough pay-off. I'm sorry.)



MAN ON RIGHT: Well, what do you think so far, Mister Helmsley?
HHH: Not bad, not bad... Except that I wanted a SOLID GOLD HOUSE! Why the hell is the ceiling still white! Vince is going to hear about this!
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Old 09-27-2004, 10:23 PM   #5
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With this being an internet PPV HHH needed protection from Brock......Don't know why he hired Gilberg though.
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Old 09-27-2004, 10:29 PM   #6
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HHH: Dammit SOMEBODY here HAS to pull my finger!


Ric: So that's when I told him: No way man! No way I'm jumping from a speeding car!
Trish: Zzzzzzzz...
Woman's Belt: Why? Why have I been forsaken!
Water Bottle: Hey baby, don't worry. You still have me.


HHH: And then I ate the bowl!


Mr President. I'll be your bodyguard for the evening.


*shocking* Look! There's O'Haire!


What? On my face? Ummm... it's nothing. DAMN YOU RIC!


Shawn practices his new marionette skills. Only he forgot the marionette.


The WWE pays Bentoit so little he had to grow a beard and take a second job as a reporter.


HHH realizes his dream when he makes Stone Cold Steve Austin a member of his personal security.
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Old 09-27-2004, 11:01 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate



HHH: I'd like to welcome all of you here to the commemoration of my 300th World Title reign...
Damn, you beat me to it.
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Old 09-27-2004, 11:21 PM   #8
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HHH: MAHONEY!!!


Ric: If you give me your water, I could give you some of HHH's chocolate... NOW GIVE ME BAGALGLAAJFAS!!! ***flops***


HHH: ..That big that Orton could use it as a douche!

**crowd laughs**

Orton: This isn't a roast, H.

HHH: Roast?


Batista really needs a job if he is part-time hand washer at the Bradley Center's bathroom.


HBK: uM, Dave???

Batista: Hold on... I have seen "the Matrix" enough times to do this!


Mahoney is still the man! Just look at Trish and you'll see that.


HHH: oK, Shawn.. you mind not doing your Lita promo impression again?


Batista: I know I am a hand washer.. but why are you an interviewer, Benoit?


DOUBLE VASE ACTION!

note: I did all these in under a minute!
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Old 09-27-2004, 11:21 PM   #9
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Triple H: I am The Game and the only 300-time World Heavyweight Champion, Orton!



Trish's new futuristic telekinetic powers make Flair's tie a little too tight.



Unfortunately there was no Emmy Music to cut short the promo Triple H cut when he won the Emmy for "Person on screen for most of the duration of sports entertainment program".



Ric Flair's new gimmick as President, and Batista's new gimmick of "Agent Dave" would have gotten over, if Flair didn't die and go stiff half-way through the handshake.



Batista was the only one to interupt Triple H's ceremony because his favourite show, Dora the Explorer, was on.

Dora: Do you nkow which letter's the letter "O"?
*Batista points to screen*
*Mouse clicks on "O"*
Batista: Shit!
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Old 09-27-2004, 11:41 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126

Triple H: My finger can hold ANYONE down! Anyone wana try me?!
Fan with Shotgun: Yeah, ME...
Triple H: I stand corrected...

ROFL
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Old 09-28-2004, 12:16 AM   #11
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HHH: "If I was running for the president-uh, you would all vote for me-uh, I will hold down George W. Bush-ah, I will hold down John Kerry-ah, and I will hold down Saddam Hussein-ah and Ossama Bin Laden-ah. I, HHH, will save the United States of America. I, the game-uh, will rule the world. Any questions from the audience?"
Fan in audience raises hand.
HHH: "Yeah, you."
Fan: "Are you running for President?"
HHH: "No."


Flair: "You're making me nervous sitting next to you Trish..."
Trish: "Why because I'm young and beautiful?"
Flair: "No, you're brushing your hand up between my legs. Your husband's not going to be happy when he hears about this."


Vince: Why does HHH always have his hand up?
Shawn: He's the game.
Stacy: Shawn, get your hand off my leg.
Randy: HHH has bad breath that I can smell it over here.


Flair: You look like Steve Urcle with those glasses on.
Batista: If you hold my hand so I won't fall and say "Did I do that!!!"



Batista: "Look, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's HHH holding down the presidential campaign."


Coach: "I still can't see whether she's Pam Anderson or Anna Nicole Smith."


Shawn: "You see this hand, this is a new move of mine, and no it's not the Mandible Claw that Mick Foley has. It's called the Cat Scratch."


Batista: "If you make fun of my glasses one more time, I'm going to give you something to laugh about."


Black guy on left: Oh no, HHH walked by me.
Guy on the right: This is bad news, he's holding our jobs down. We're fired.
HHH thinking to himself: "What the hell are these guys talking about?"
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Old 09-28-2004, 01:40 PM   #12
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Just a quick question, why the hell is Stacey Kiebler there? They could have brought Gail Kim or you know, one of the divas that does something instead of her dumb ass.
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Old 09-28-2004, 03:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDaddyCool
Just a quick question, why the hell is Stacey Kiebler there? They could have brought Gail Kim or you know, one of the divas that does something instead of her dumb ass.
Most likley since she won Babe of the Year, which was a big waste anyway...
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Old 09-28-2004, 04:11 PM   #14
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So I take it in my left hand and its at this point I have to say "Oooo Hunter, its so big"
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Old 09-28-2004, 04:55 PM   #15
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I would just like to announce that I've found my smile...




Ric: So about that favour....
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Old 09-28-2004, 05:00 PM   #16
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“I would like to announce the winner of the “Front Row Ticket” contest to Taboo Tuesday… Brock Lesnar!”


Ric: IEEEEEEEE! Okay, okay, okay! Let go! Your nails! OUCHHHHHH!!!!!
Trish: Promise not to ask if I want to ride Space Mountain again?
Ric: Possibly!
Trish: Well, looks like that’s the best answer I’ll get.
*15 mins later*
Ric: So, Trish, wanna ride Space Mountain?


For some reason the crowd thought that this was too formal of a set up for WWE Karaoke Night.


Ric: It’s good to see you here Dave… Why are you here?
Batista: The buffet.


Batista: Stop screaming at my tie!
Rico: Oh come on! I know blind people who have better color sense! That tie clashes with itself for crying out loud!


She made fun of his sunglasses.
He replaced her lip balm with Rhyno’s.
They’re now even.


“Get….closer…..to…..me……If…..Luke…..Can…..Do…..It……So…..Can…..I…..”


Batista: You’re not here to make fun of my tie also, right?
Dude:…..lemme move onto the next person….
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