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Old 12-13-2004, 05:42 PM   #1
Gouda
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Armageddon Captions
I made a caption thread! I feel special! Now if only it was for a less crappy event...



Red vs. Blue took it to another level.



Dude: Yes... that's the way Brock... you want to make a comeback don't you?
Brock: Do you even WORK for the WWE yet?
Dude: Shut up!


Red: Force punch!
Blue: OMG! I've been PWNED!!



Cena: Bad Jesus! Get back in your pen!



STEEL NIPPLE ATTACK!!



Someone screwed up the letters on Cena's shirt. He was pissed.



Funaki: I'm... on a PPV.... and just won the Cruserweight title? ..... WTF?!



Heidenreich: Oh no.... I did it again.... HE'S DEAD!! ..... again!



Heidenreich: Wait... it's not too late! Little Johnny will give you life again!! Breath!!
Undertaker: Must.... go into the light...



The old man beside JBL thought it was the perfect opportunity to give JBL an enema.



Blue guy: Heh heh.... dude.... RVD is gonna be pissed when he finds out I got into his locker.... heh heh heh....



Angle: How did I feel being denied these hungry, hungry, hippos?! THIS IS HOW I FELT!! TAP, SANTA, TAP!!!



Eddie fell asleep on top of the ladder. He leaned forward and fell off. Then all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't but Eddie together again.



Cena: Man... I could go for a Hot Dog right now...



Cena: YOU CAN'T SEE THIS! .... No really. You can't. What kind of a belt is this?

And that is it for my crappy captions!

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Old 12-13-2004, 06:03 PM   #2
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And here are your captions in no particular order!



Just like a black man to go about and attack a helpless white man in boxing gear...



I don't remember Rocky VI ending like this...



Mortal Kombat has certainly gone down the shitter...



WWE takes its anti-religion movement one step further by throwing Jesus out.



Cena prepares to trash Jesus! Get it? 'Trash', 'Jesus'! ... Forget it...



All over the world, there are dyslexic people are having a seizure trying to figure this one out.



A sudden fear came over Funaki when he saw Bob Holly coming to the ring with a shotgun. Funaki moved too high up the social ladder, and Vince wasn't going to let this slip destroy business..



The match suddenly halted. Heidenriech let out a confused and horrified glance. He may have just dropped 'Taker on his head, botching an arm-bar, but a larger trouble had arose. Had Heidenriech left the stove on?



No, no Johnny.. Turn 'Taker's head around first, THEN you can make that face..



Security hated it when Bradshaw broke out into Guns 'N' Roses during the show.



Cocaine: My anti-drug.



Kurt Angle: Protecting American Freedom and Snapping Santa's Ankles since 2004.



Back in my day, the 'trust fall' wasn't so high up..



Leave it to have to carry Jesus in a match. I mean, shit man, that's sacreligious.



Oompa... Loompa...
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Old 12-13-2004, 06:08 PM   #3
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Couldn't think of any except for this one




Jesus tried using a shotgun on the T-1000, but it was useless, so he bowed down in defeat.
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Old 12-13-2004, 06:19 PM   #4
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Puder: Thats for all those damn challenges!



Puder: Oh yes Steph...yeah Steph...
Ref:
Puder: Oh shit...I'm awake...
*HHH backstage*
HHH:



Unfortunately for Puder, the UFC pulled a WWE and toned down their style



Jesus: NO! I said I like Mountie hats! MOUNTIE!



Funaki: Giving me a push and a title after not winning for a year...NOW THATS EVIL



Heidenreich: PAAAAUUUUUUUUUL
Heyman: WHAT?
Heidenreich: I broke my Taker, can I have a new one



Heidenreich botches the Cranium Crunch



JBL: PETER FRAMPTON!



Miz: You know that feeling you get when you take a huuuuge dump...awesome



Eddie: WTF! I'M ABOVE THE GLASS CEILING! YES!
HHH: My bad
*Eddie drops*
Eddie: DAMMIT!
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Old 12-13-2004, 06:48 PM   #5
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Miz: Yup there's a wall there.



Why you shouldn't use shit as deoderant.


Miz: I WANNA GO HIGHER!!!!!
Puder: Can't push you any higher.
Miz: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH



Cena didn't want to eat the twinkie, so he just pulled the cream filling out with his hands.



Worst...Game of leapfrog....ever



Cena: My cowlick is there on purpose. [pouting]


Funaki: So...Where do you stick the weed?
Ref: This is a belt, not a baggie.
Funaki: [gasp]



Heidenreich: My thingy isn't aligned in the center.



Undertaker got the phrase "Piggyback ride" confused with "Do the Roboto till' your face turns red"



JBL: WTF is this????? Weed inside the secret compartment of my belt? Where did my left eyeball go?
Doctor: And this should let you see out of the back of your head.
RVD: Yes now I can see who it is that keeps "touching me"



MIz: What are you talking about RVD? Drugs don't affect you.



Angle: Finally!!! Little Kurt gets a scratching post.


Never try to have sex with a hologram.


Jesus: I owe you my life. If you didn't save me I would be dead right now. You hear me!!!Dead!!!!!
Cena: Relax. It's just an ant.



Cena: Hypnosis is a dangerous thing. Look what it did to my mouth!!!
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Old 12-13-2004, 06:50 PM   #6
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Puder: w00t! *PUNCH* w00t! *PUNCH* w00t! *KICK*
Miz (in a high voice): Too low... w00....t!


Puder: I believe I can flyyyyy! I believe I can touch the... GLASS CEILING!


Puder: Once again, w00t!


Cena: Who's been a bad boy? *SMACK*
Jesus: Me...
Cena: Who's been a bad religious figure...*SMACK*
Jesus: Wait, WHAT!?


Seconds later, the trash can lid is lodged 15 inches into Jesus' skull. That'll teach him to take Cena's Oscar the Grouch puppet.


Cena: RANDOM HAND PUPPETS! A-ROOOOOO! BUCK BUCK BUCK! MOOOO!


Funaki: I'M BLIND!
Ref: Here, let me lead you to the belt... *Snicker*
Funaki: Thank you so much for helping SmackDown! numba one *PUSH* anounceaaaaaaaaa!
Ref: That was a good one!


Heidenreich couldn't believe he had sucked Taker's arm pit... And LIKED it...


Heidenreich: Who da man, who da man? I da man, you might as well live on land! Thank you! Thank you!
Crowd: .............. *Crickets Chirp*
Heidenreich: RAAAWWR!


JBL: OWWW! I feel good! Du nu nu nu nu nu nu! I knew that I would! Du nu nu nu nu! So good, so fine, I got you-oo-oo-OOO!
Belty: I hate it when he sings to me.


\/\/@ST3D!


Seconds later, Rudolf zaps Kurt with his nose laser of DOOOOOM.


Eddie: Oh shit oh shit oh shit...
JBL: Too late for second thoughts ya lousy *BEEEEEEEP*
(Eddie stops mid-air, the crowd stunned.)
JBL: What? Oh, I'm sorry, MISTER *BEEEEEEEP*.


Jesus: This CAN'T end well.
Seconds later, Cena puts Jesus down, gives him a lollipop, and leaves.
Jesus: Well, maybe it can!


Cena: SEE THIS!? SEE THIS!? VINCE IS MAKING ME INTO A JOKE, AND I LOVE IT! WOOOO! *Watches it spin*
Last edited by Xero; 12-14-2004 at 04:47 PM.
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Old 12-14-2004, 12:42 AM   #7
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Trainer (backstage): Ugh, that blue bastard's getting beat! I told him to subscribe to Nintendo Power magazine ! That's what he gets!


Puder: Oh yeah! I won, I.. crap, doesn't King Hippo come after this guy?? I'm fugged.


Worst. Game of Thumb-wrestling. Ever.


Do what Cena is doing in case of a fire: Use a up-and-comer injured wrestler as a mattress when jumping off to far distances.


Jesus, after 4 hours of trying, gave up on Cena's "Which is a circle" test.


**beep beep... beep beep **
Cena: Tuck fhis stupid car alarm! I'll find it my damn self!


Ref: Here, you're the new champion...
Ghosts: WWWAAAIITTTT.... FUNAKI, WE ARE THE GHOST OF CRUISERWEIGHTS' PAST.... WHAT EVER YOU DO... DON'T TAKE THAT TITLE.. OR YOU WILL END UP LIKE USS....
Funaki: Uh, ok.. WAIT! Noble, Spanky... Ultimo? I don't remember you holding a title here.. where you even here??
Ultimo: .....um, ENJOY VELOCITY HELL, BITCHES! **powerbombs Funaki and leaves**


Heiden: HEIDENROONIE!!!!


The one way you can soothe the dead is of course, by singing them the ol' folk songs.
Heiden: SING US A SONG, YOUR THE PIANO MAN! SING US A SONG TONIGHT! LADEDALADEDAA... SATURDAY, SATURDAY, SATURDAY!


Security: GET BACK! This man is stuck in Pac-Man power pellet mode! You all would look like blue ghosts to him the way he is now!


He saw the Jackass movie. He knew what he was getting into. Butterbean knew it too. BTW, flowers will be sent to the family of the Miz at..


Angle: Put coal in my stockings, will you... YOU COOKIE-LOVIN' SON OF A BITCH!


Eddie Guerrero = The New Musical Ladders Champion.


Cena: You know what they say in the Army- Never leave your men behind..
Jesus: I thought .. you were a Marine..
Cena: Screw you!
Jesus: No, it's FU..
Voice in background: IT'S HEIDENREICH!!


Cena: I don't think I can hold this much longer. My doctor told me not to hold useless piece of crap for too long.
[/I would have put a pic of Cena picking up Holly but I can't find one!]

END.
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Old 12-14-2004, 06:28 AM   #8
nWo 4 Life
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Seriously, WTF belt IS that?!
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Old 12-14-2004, 07:31 AM   #9
Drakul
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Its John Cenas custom Us belt.Kinda like Austin and the smoking skull belt
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Old 12-14-2004, 10:09 AM   #10
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WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Heidenreich: I need an old priest and a young priest...THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU
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Old 12-14-2004, 01:18 PM   #11
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Worst. Interpretation of the Marx Brothers' "mirror" gag. Ever.



Puder froze. How did the "M" go again?



Chicks dig the long ball...



JERICHO: Hey, does this bring back memories?
HHH:
JERICHO: All that's missing is Hillbilly Jim!
HHH: :foc:



After accidentally leaving his sword on Eternia, He-Man was left to go into battle with...the Clipboard of Power!



STEREOTYPICAL JAPANESE MAN: What does "Luck Fures" mean?



FUNAKI: I'm the Cruiserweight Champion? I must be dreaming!
REF: Nice tighty whities. Time for your speech to the student body.
FUNAKI: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



HEIDENREICH: And now a poem by Heidenreich...

Can we go back to the days when our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
They way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I’m down on bended knee
I’ll never walk again until you come back to me
I’m down on bended knee

UNDERTAKER: That sounds really familiar...



UT: Oh, man! I'm in trouble! Dotted boomerang ATTACK!



JBL: Yeah! That's right! I'm the greatest! Nobody has ever played air guitar with a belt to "Voodoo Chile" before!



MIZ: Hmmm... I always expected Route 66 to be more...impressive.



ANGLE: You gave me a sweater with a big bird knitted on it! A kid can get beat up for wearing something like that!



EDDIE: Cannonbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!



COLE: Cena's going for...no!

TAZZ: Jesus with a crucifix! Get it? Crucifix? 'Cause he's Jesus!



Between "Ruck Fules" and his "sn" title, English teachers nationwide began to worry about the example being set.
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Old 12-14-2004, 03:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
[img]


COLE: Cena's going for...no!

TAZZ: Jesus with a crucifix! Get it? Crucifix? 'Cause he's Jesus!



Between "Ruck Fules" and his "sn" title, English teachers nationwide began to worry about the example being set.
HA HA HA HA HA HA
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:05 PM   #13
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Cena: I can't hold you much longer!
Jesus: Come on Sean jump!


John: This is for goldberg!
Jesus: Its just my name!
Last edited by Savio; 12-14-2004 at 05:31 PM. Reason: hard to get
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:18 PM   #14
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Rock'm Sock'm Robots: Version 5.0



Puder: Help me Lord, help me defeat Mike Miz...
God: Shut up Hunter!
*Blank stare*



Jesus reinacts the Crucifiction in a more painful way if you know what I mean



Even Cena and Jesus are not safe from The Minority Report



Heidenreich: Yep, it is true. I really am Ryan Styles buffed up and dressed in red.

or....

Heidenreich: Oh Romeo, why thou shall you die?
Taker: (As Romeo) ......
Heidenreich: Romeo?
Taker: .......
Heidenreich: ANSWER ME ROMEO!
*Throws hissy fit*



Heidenreich: And here he is! This is the guy who slept on my bedroom floor and weeped like a bedroom glore! I slept beside him on my chambored floor and put my arm up his rear and locked it his chambored door. He looked at me like a crazy whore and punched my butt like a rabid Bore. I then reached into his dreaded Core and pulled out a shiny Glore, then came Paul Heymen, coming into my chambored door and saw us on the bedroom floor, he was shocked to see me with my hand deep in this mans core and shouted GORE GORE! Quote Heidenreich, nevermore.



Santa Eddie, instead of climbing down the chimeny, finds a new way to get into peoples houses on Christmas.
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:22 PM   #15
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Seriously, Loopy... those were the funniest captions I've seen in a while.
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Old 12-14-2004, 04:36 PM   #16
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Aw, shucks...
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Old 12-14-2004, 05:19 PM   #17
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Thats the new "John Cena" US title belt? Fucking ugly
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Old 12-14-2004, 05:31 PM   #18
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Not many people got it so updated it.
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Old 12-14-2004, 07:05 PM   #19
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Goldberg.
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:16 AM   #20
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Puder showed off some of his heel tactics when he spritzed his gloves with some Skunk Spray before the match.


....and then he realized he forgot his pants.


Oh man, the Miz has got to win with selling skills like that...even when the punch misses by a foot...


Jesus: "Hardcore's made me a marked man. He says I'll pay for not paying my dues! It's all over!!!"
Cena: "No! Don't jump into midcard hell! There's another way!!!"


Fortunately for the WWE and FCC, Floaty the Flying Trashcan was able to swoop in just in the nick of time to prevent Cena's wardrobe malfunction from ruining the show.


'JBL is.... retaining???'


Funaki: "Yay! I've won the... 'Spend a Night in China Championship???"
Joanie Laurer: "Come here little man."
Funaki:
*faints*


John's three bean salad picked a bad time to eject.


Heidenreich botches skull fucking.


Most fans were left confused by the cross promotion ad of the new American Idol.


Once you saw Chyna's ass pimples, you were never the same.


"Give me coal in MY stocking will ya you sonofabitch!!!"


Announcer: "And we've started with the innaugural WWE Ladder Skiing Championships."


Cena's walking-over-hot-coal-while-carrying-a-guy act was a huge hit with the fans.


Cena: "You are getting sleepy... you won't notice how I squash opponents with HHH efficiency..."
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:19 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Sascha


Heidenreich: I need an old priest and a young priest...THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU
Hahah. The Exorcist
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Old 12-15-2004, 12:21 AM   #22
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I think I still don't get the Goldberg one.
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Old 12-15-2004, 02:12 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed
I think I still don't get the Goldberg one.
Goldberg's Jewish.
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