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09-27-2005, 12:40 PM
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#1 |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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RAW Captions 9/26/05
                WWE Put The world Title On Matt Hardy |
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09-27-2005, 12:50 PM
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#2 |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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Angle: Vince please do everyone a favor and stop walking like you've got something stuck up your ass Angle: And michaels you need to stop dancing like you've got something stuck up your ass Angle: Now me i just glide to the ring cause i'm the man HBK: Sorry kurt but your entrance is kinda gay man Ref: Oh the lights the pretty pretty lights Angle: Shawn shawn are you ok shawn HBK: Yea i'm fine my backs just broke but i'll be ok Angle: Ok great see ya Eric: Why did'nt i think of this in wcw Cena: Must hulk up must hulk up Trish & Ashley just heard rob conways entrance music for the first time Trish: Up up and away Candice figured since the rap gimmick worked for cena that she would try it also Random man at home: Now thats good tv Trish: Look skidmarks Edge: My invisible death ray will erase you matt hardy Matt: No man please dont do it Ric: And next monday night on the *bleep* network at homecoming triple h is gonna stick this sledgehammer right up his own ass WOOOOOOOOOOOOO Heres the proof that you should never piss buff bagwell off |
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09-27-2005, 01:02 PM
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#3 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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May the Force be with you, Adam. -or- Edge: You do not want to push me off this ladder Matt: ...i do not want to push you off of that ladder.. |
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09-27-2005, 01:06 PM
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#4 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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Shawn: So I says to myself..FUCK Vince McMahon, that's why TNA got our network. Kurt(thinking): hm..I wonder if he knows Vince is behind us.. Vince(thinking): hm..I wonder if Shawn knows that he'll be jobbing to Masters, Conway, and the Heartthrobs next week on Heat? |
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09-27-2005, 01:09 PM
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#5 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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Relax, they only eat Krill.. Oh look! Krill! |
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09-27-2005, 01:11 PM
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#6 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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A push? Hey've I've seen a push! It passed by not too long ago. It went this way, it went this way! Follow me! Sorry for like the quad posts. I keep reading over them after I finish and coming up with new ideas. |
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09-27-2005, 02:13 PM
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#7 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Kurt: I don’t get it Vince. I like the idea that you’re getting Chief J Strongbow and Harley Race on for Raw’s homecoming show, but shouldn’t you be more focused on guys like Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Randy Savage and Bryan Adams that were actually on Raw? Why Vince, why? Vince: Because I sign your goddamn paycheck. Kurt:  Good move Mr. McMahon!Vince and Shawn look on in horror as they realize that Kurt found Rhyno’s lip balm. Kurt: Yo, lay down a phat beat for me… yea, das right… Yo! My name is Kurt, Olympic gold medals! I’ll step on you foo’s like ya’ll were bicycle pedals! When I come to town I’m breakin’ it down, ain’t playin’ around, This King of the Ring has been more than crowned! Like the evolution shirts I’ve been paid laid and made, and next week on Raw HBK is gonna be DOA’ed! Vince: We really need a rapper on the Raw Roster! This stuff is GOLD! HBK: Well, technically speaking we already have a rapper on Raw… Cena. Vince: Cena vs Kurt in an iron man freestyle rap off… By God I’m a genius… Somebody get me a Victory Twinke!  HBK: Kiss me, you fool! Kurt: You’re a homo! HBK: You didn’t say anything about that last night. Kurt: Hey, I was on top, it wasn’t gay.  RANDOM PAC MAN! BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA!  *At the Devon: Hey Ray, look, a table! Ray: Don’t say that! Are you trying to get us sued! Devon: Come on, they can’t sue us for using the word “table” in our own house. WWE Legal Team: Actually, we can. Ref: Finally…. The Ref…. HAS COME BACK…. To this ring!  The idea of the dual bulimics to shoot some life into the tag team division was just as successful as the band-aid crew and The Heart Throbs.  Cena: What’s that fisty? Do the job to Eric next week? I guess a talking fist can’t be wrong. Taking lessons from Triple H and Booker T, HBK no sells falling off the top through a table just to get up a do a spin-a-ronie. And now we see how the WWE gets it’s titles… they’re crapped out of half-credible champions.  Eric: I can’t wait until I win this title. I’ll take away all this “bling” and “spinner” crap and replace it with signs of a true champion… Unicorns, rainbows, ribbons, and tinsel! My title will go down in history as the greatest title of all time selling more replica belts than any other title!  Eric: Property of Triple H… but he never held this belt… Lita botches booking HLA.  (insert random Steven Richards joke here)  JR: BAHGAWDSTUNNER BBQ SAUCE!!!!!! OH THE INTENSITY! BAH GAWD SOMETHIN’S GONNA BLOW!!! King: Puppies! Coach: That’s right JR, these women wrestlers are just as tough and intense as the men. JR: NO BAHGAWD ROCK BOTTM! THIS BLADDER ISN’T MADE OF CHILLI!!! BATHROOM BREAK! King: Puppies! Coach: …what the hell, everyone at home is using it for a bathroom break… Hey King, want a soda or something?  And somewhere in Mexico there’s a hell of a lot of drunken lunchadors laughing at them. Vince: Extreme Acrobats! Unlike the body building thing and the XFL it’ll work! Vince, you are a fucking genius! I think I’ve earned yet another victory twinkie! Candice:YOU JUST GOT BEAT UP! Ashley:Chill out... What cha yellin' for? Candice: Oh great, an Avrilish punker… Ashley:Lay back... It's all been done before. Candice: Shut up, that song is so annoying! Ashley: And if only you could let it be you will see… uhhh… Candice… So it’s true…. You are a poser! Ashley: *sniff* It's true!!! *cries* I'm a poser!!!! Ashley: I’m more than just a poser with my punk look… Candice: What do you mean by that and why do you have a roll of quarters in your pocket? As if the entire world hasn’t seen this before…  Thing is calling Ashley a homo, and Ashley botches being offended.  Candice finally gives up… She’ll never know the meaning of life, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, and why did Vince fire Charlie Hass… Some questions simply have no answer.  JR: Bahgawd, that bathroom break will go down in Raw history as one of the most brutal in Raw history! The carnage was left everywhere but in the ring. Coach: Okay, I’m back. King, get up and help me with these sodas. King: I can’t get up… Coach: Why not? King: It’s…. errr… the ending of that match….. I’m sorta…. JR: BAHGAWD PENIS! ROCK HARD BOTTOM! HE HAS A VILE ERECTION FROM HELL!!!!!  Do you have any idea how messed up president Bush is? His approval ratings are falling at a record rate, he under funded his “no child left behind” program, he lost Osoma a number of times, and he’s pouring tax dollars into helping out other countries when our country needs it. He’s not a good person overall and— Divas: SHUT UP! WE WATCH FOX NEWS AND YOU’RE WRONG! FOX NEWS SAID SO, YOU LIBERAL DO-DO HEAD!  Is it me or does that microphone in her hand look somewhat… phallic?  Edge: Lita… Why do you have a pad on your neck? Lita: It’s that time of the month. Edge: You are a useless person… Matt: I am a useless person… Edge: Yes! I’m a real Jedi now! Jedi mind tricks totally rule! Matt: Mind tricks?  Matt: What are you doing up there anyways? Edge: I told Sean I’d meet him up for coffee. Lita: Meet up? Gee, and they say I bawtch stfuf. Matt: Who’s Sean? Edge   And who says white boys can’t dance?  Lita: Ohmigosh! It’s just like that one dream where I show up to work naked only I’m not naked and even if was I have this change of clothing in the brief case and the dancing monkey isn’t flinging poo at me!  Matt: I will not FRY! Edge: Will not fry? Don’t you mean die? Matt: No, fry. After I do the job to you next week at Homecoming I have a job lined up at McDonalds but I don’t know how to use the deep fryer.  Snitsky: It’s time to take out the trash! Vince: Now hold on just a damn minute! …There is a cruiserweight in there, right? Snitsky: Yes. Vince: Carry on.  I don’t care how upset he looks. When The Show is out of cookie dough do NOT try to give him a hug. With his… one of a kind rendition of “Mark Henry was a Steel Driving Man” Ric Flair was cut from American Idol.  Shelton: Kanye West is right! Bush does hate black people! And you voted for him! Kerwin: Well duh, I’m white! And just because your people have the lowest voting demographic— *Seconds later EMTS rushed down to the ring to surgically pull Kerwin’s head out of his ass before he suffocated*  Nick: Damn it, my stash was in here! HBK: …Hold on… Is he destroying some HBK merchandise? He’s destroying a stuffed HBK lion! HE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON! Hunter: Fine Shawn, I’ll lower the glass ceiling on him.  “Whadya mean they’re just foil covered chocolate bars!?!?!?” |
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09-27-2005, 02:21 PM
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#8 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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The Conway caption was stolen from my mind. Bastard.
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09-27-2005, 02:23 PM
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#9 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
Must spread some rep around  and damn you for beating me to the Jedi joke. |
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09-27-2005, 03:27 PM
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#10 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Kurt: YOU LITTLE COCK SUCKER I'LL KILL YOU!!! I WILL DO YOUR MOM IN FRONT OF YOU AND THEN KILL HER!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! Vince: Wow... uhhh... I'll rethink pushing Masters..... *credit where credit is due- Kurt's quote in that caption came from a flash cartoon* http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/249561 |
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09-27-2005, 03:31 PM
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#11 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Hey RoadWarriorsLOD.
READ MY DAMN USER TITLE!!!! 
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09-27-2005, 05:49 PM
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#12 |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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nobody had put them up so i did
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09-27-2005, 05:51 PM
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#13 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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But Cool King is the man!
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09-27-2005, 06:49 PM
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#14 |
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Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Angle: I like your eyes... Vince: Good, good. Keep going, I just might give you a title shot again... Vince was NOT amused by Kurt's fart noises. Shawn, however... Angle: That a boy, Stevie, goood boy... Richards:  Shawn: If I'm not mistaken, your boobs are right abooouuut... Angle: I like your smile... HBK: Oh, you've found it? I thought I lost it! Cena: THE RANDOM PAC-MAN...IS...HEEERRRRRRRRRREE!!!! Man, I've heard of having wood, but Masters has just wowed the entire audience... Ref: What the... Is that Sean O'Haire? Cena and Michaels react after seeing "One Night In Chyna" play on the Titantron. Bischoff, out of pure boredom, plays the part of Cena's penis. Angle: Heeeeyyyy!! I was gonna set up a buffet there!! Bischoff: Hey guys, look what I found in the trash! Cena: Eeeeeeeeehhh!! You said that LAST week! Bischoff: Me want spinny belt! Bischoff: No! You can't have it!  It's mine!!Bischoff: [sniffle] Trusty WWE title...you've been good to me these past few seconds. We've made one hell of a tag team. But now, I'm going home! I'm going to th_______________ork!Trish and Ashley are STILL trying to tell themselves apart on the Titantron... Ashley: Hey! That's MY cashmere sweater! You bitch! Candice: Go ahead, have it! Please! Just don't kill me! Ashley: What? Candice: Take what you want! Just please don't hurt me! Ashley: What, I'm not... you think I'm a mugger? Candice: Whatever you say! Seriously, this is a kick-ass move that I hope is in SVR 2006.  Victoria: Peek-a-boo! Can't see me! Trish: Let go of my legs! Trish nearly kills herself when she jumps too close to the glass ceiling. Candice: Yo yo, WEERRD!!! Ashley: Thaaaaat's right...aaawwww yeeeeaahhh... Candice: Glug... Trish: Ooh! That fan over there isn't looking! He's the homo!! Ashley: Guy? What guy? Trish: THIS girl really needs to bathe! Torrie: I got her left tit! Victoria: No, *I* do! Candice: Ladies, there's plenty of tit to go around! Candice: Oooookay, you can stop grabbing now... Edge makes sure the coast is clear and hopes that Lita doesn't botch NOT pushing the ladder while he's up there... Edge: I cast Lvl 2. Wizard's Spell on you, Matt Hardy! Hardy: Nooooo!!! Edge: I am the king of the ring! Get it? Hah! Lita: Okay, screw this, I'm outta here... Edge picked the strangest time to start dancing. Lita: You mean...this really isn't a case with briefs in it? Then where's my underwear??  Dean Malenko makes his stunning debut and looks over a defeated Edge. Hey, even a Big Show needs a Big Newsletter to read. Big Show tries his hand at a new gimmick, one that has succeeded brilliantly in the past: that of a wrestling plumber. Flair: Whoever put this sledgehammer on my bench when I sat down it...it was NOT FUNNY!!! WHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Nick Nemeth cups one of Stevie Richards' balls while Shelton and Kerwin look on... Eugene: No!!! My teddy bear lost his smile!!! Conway: DAMMIT! How DARE this stuffed animal get more of a crowd reaction than me!! Gaaarrrhhh!!!! Murdoch: It's sad, really. I've lost my smile as well... Cade: Wait did that fan... Did that fan just call me a HOMO?? RoadWarriorsLOD...could you use punctuation in your captions? 
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09-27-2005, 07:12 PM
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#15 |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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That Matt/Edge photo just has Star Wars written all over it.
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09-27-2005, 09:34 PM
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#16 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Kurt Angle: You know what country I live in? Spike TV Management:  Kurt Angle: I live in the (BLEEEEEP) Spike TV Management: Kurt Angle: DAMN YOU SPIKE TV! Kurt Angle: We are moving to U-BLEEEEEEP! Spike TV: Nope. Kurt Angle: U-BLEEEEEEEP! Spike TV: Nope. Kurt Angle: Vince, you have no idea howUSAmade I am. Spike TV: GOD DAMNIT! WE MISSED THAT! Looks like Chyna hasn't been working out recently. Trish: Oh my gosh! We found Chris Benoit's main event push! Shawn always thought that wooden tables are made out of bungee cords. Trish does her best "Xero Limit meeting Victoria Impression" |
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09-27-2005, 10:22 PM
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#17 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Ref: Man oh man I have to get rid of this kink...what the hell, Shawn O'Hare?!?!?!?!?!?! |
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09-28-2005, 12:51 AM
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#18 | |
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Herp a derp, and so on
Posts: 8,830
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Quote:
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09-28-2005, 09:52 AM
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#19 | |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Quote:
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09-28-2005, 01:54 PM
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#20 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Kurt is trying to convince Vince that he is a god in the wrestling ring. Shawn was instantly impressed with his description of making JBL looking competent. But it was the epic battle with Vanilla Midget Benoit that finally won Vince over. Vince: You mean, Benoit still has a job You know what I have done to god's of the wrestling ring, right? Ref: This is a daunting challenge, I can do Limbo. I can do limbo. Referee uses the darndest time to do the "Surfin' ______________ance Bischoff: AND THIS is why you don't take Kayopectate with every meal. This man just passed THIS. Watching a Hacksaw Jim Duggan match on Spike TV COMPLETELY on MUTE wasn't appealing to the fans. Trish's new finisher, the flying makeout, was a huge hit with the horny males in attendance. Candace describing Mae Young's breasts was too much for poor Ashley Cameraman: Damn, I'm on the wrong side of the ring... Trish panto-mimes the crotch area of most males at this moment. Matt (a few seconds earlier): You wouldn't DARE drop my push from up there... Flair: And I am gonna hammer you... WOOOOOOO! Here we learn that, in addition to being a heatless wonder, Rob Conway is also a closet Bret Hart fan. |
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09-28-2005, 02:23 PM
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#21 |
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Soundly Defeated Wadding
Posts: 40,590
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Vince: What? No he didn't, I just saw him a couple hours ag.. Angle: He's gone, ok? Deal with it! Another thing... Before he passed he said that I could have his wife and his backstage politics powers. *tied up somewhere in a closet* Trips: NOT MY POLITICS!!!! Angle: And that's what a perfectly constructed hand looks like! Fingers equally spaced apart, fingernails trimmed... After a long period of absence, the large yellow foam hand returns to exact it's revenge on the boot that put it out of action. Angle: Shawn, damnit! How many times have a I told you that you can't leviatate! You aren't Benoit!! David Arquette: Now that's good television. Vince Russo: I hear ya. The diving sneaky eye poke was a big success. Edge: Fetch the ball Matt.... That's right... Fetch it... Come on boy, fetch the ball... Flair: IF THOSE MEXICOOLS WON'T LANDSCAPE MY LAWN, THEN GOD DAMNIT... I'M GONNA DO IT MYSELF!! Lion: Wait, I'm not a doll! An evil sorcerer put my soul into the body of a stuffed animal. Please help m... *RRRIIIIIIPPPP* |
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09-28-2005, 04:09 PM
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#22 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Kurt: I am NOT a member of the Nazi Party!!! Vince and Shawn: 
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09-28-2005, 05:07 PM
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#23 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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lil brudder 
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09-28-2005, 07:42 PM
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#24 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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Trish: Lookie, lookie! Spike Network: Ooooooooohhhh... Trish: Now what I'm going to- USA NETWORK! USA USA USA!! Spike Network: DAMMIT! |
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09-28-2005, 08:50 PM
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#25 | |
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BISONICA
Posts: 2,681
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Quote:
GLEE! |
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09-28-2005, 08:57 PM
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#26 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Conway: "HULK ANGRY!" or This is NOT what you should do for a Klondike Bar. |
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09-29-2005, 02:20 AM
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#27 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
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09-29-2005, 03:29 AM
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#28 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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Cool Kings been trying to set it up for a while now but something keeps happening, like other people putting captions up instead of him etc.
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09-29-2005, 08:25 AM
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#29 | |
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Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
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Quote:
Best captions i've seen in a while...(y) |
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09-29-2005, 12:25 PM
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#30 |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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he can still do the contest even with me posting this cause the captions are still here no matter who puts them up
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09-29-2005, 01:15 PM
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#31 |
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Backlund Authorised
Posts: 978
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Kurt: I'm Kurt Angle, and I'm saying that's a damn wig! Kurt: And Shawn, you're going bald, bald people suck. Kurt: In fact everyone is bald, you're all in freakin denial! Shawn: Alright Kurt, we're all bald, you're not. Happy now? Vince (thinking): Damn, his head is shiny. Carlito knew a haircut was due when Cena mistook him for a fan making a run-in. Kurt: That's for painting that clown face on the back of my head! Edge:My hand has absorbed all of Lita's funny diseases Matt. Think about it, I could kill with a touch now. If I wanna sit on a ladder, I will. No-one will mess with Edge's "hand of death". Ric: And now ever since I took Hunter's "sledgie" away, he's been emotional, he keeps having moods swings, and the other night he complained that we don't have a real conversation. Right now, he's backstage eatin' chocolate and looking through lifestyle magazines. I'm pretty scared. Conway: stupid crowd!, react to me!! |
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09-30-2005, 02:45 AM
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#32 |
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SAVE_US.sheepbreeder222
Posts: 610
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Kurt: And you said I could fuck your wife!! Vince: No, I didn't!! Kurt: Yes, you did! Vince: Did I say that?Kurt: Kurt: Take that, Shawn! You god damn sonofabitch!! Shawn: Jeez... Referee: Oooh yeah!! Cowabunga, biatch!! Kurt: Candice: Yeaahh, Booyyee!!! Ashley:  \ Conway: Fuck this!! Fuck this god damn teddy bear!! Fuck it!! Fuck it in the asshole!!! RAARGHHH!!!!! Shawn backstage:
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09-30-2005, 02:54 AM
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#33 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Lita:Canada? Mexico? New Jersey? France? Japan? L.A.? Purto Rico? ...Damn it... What network are we going to be on? Edge: No Lita, It's *BLEEP*! Lita: You mean the RTC pwnz the WWE now and we're on the Censored Network? Edge: Dumb Bitch... Lita: Oh, the Dumb Bitch Network! Edge: I give up. Lita: Hey! I already said the France Network! |
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09-30-2005, 09:14 AM
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#34 | |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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Quote:
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10-01-2005, 02:29 AM
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#35 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Kurt: So tell me Heart Break, did you ever get it on with a fat chick? HBK: What? Why do you want to know? Kurt: No dude, I need to know. Trust me on this, have you ever got it on with a fat chick? HBK: This is a joke, right? Kurt: No, this isn't a joke. I NEED to know if you ever got it on with a fat chick, alright? HBK: Why? Kurt: Don't ask why, just answer the question! HBK: Okay, alright... yes. Now why di-- Kurt: BWA HA HA HA HA!!! HBK GOT IT ON WITH A FAT CHICK!!! Based on a true story of me talking on the phone with my bro last night, posted in the casual forums. |
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10-01-2005, 03:53 AM
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#36 | |
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SAVE_US.sheepbreeder222
Posts: 610
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Quote:
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Linear Mode
