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12-16-2005, 11:54 PM
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#1 | ||||
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
  
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SmackDown! Captions (December 16, 2005)
Just a little over two more weeks until the 2006 Caption Contest begins. Since I'm getting in the habit of posting the pictures, I'd like to ask a favor of you guys, too. This past Monday, Corkscrewed included a post wherein he listed his favorite captions of that particular thread.
To help me along with the 2006 Contest, I'd like to see that kind of participation from more of you (and more often). Even if it's just including a quote of your favorite caption with a  underneath it, that's great. I know what I find funny and what I want to put in the Contest threads, but I don't know what you guys are laughing at unless you tell me.Again, these next couple of weeks aren't technically counting toward a contest, but the earlier we can all get back in an early-2004 mindset, the better I think this will all work out. So, without further ado, here are this week's 37 SmackDown pictures:                                      Keep up the good work, guys! Quote:
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12-17-2005, 12:14 AM
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#2 |
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Is Finkle
Posts: 88,943
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Boogeyman heard that the Cruserweights were low on the food chain in the WWE. Batista: Your head smells like a fieldof flowers on a warm summer day. Booker T is a real man. He gets his wife to sweep the ground everywhere he goes before he walks on it. Then he gets her to make him a sandwhich. You knocked his block off! Randy Orton: I didn't INTENTIONALLY shit in that bag... I lost bowel control at that exact moment. |
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12-17-2005, 12:48 AM
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#3 | |
Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
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12-17-2005, 01:26 AM
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#4 |
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SAVE_US.sheepbreeder222
Posts: 610
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A sobbing Rey Mysterio sought Batista after a cold-blooded Charles Robinson walked away with the Tag Team Titles. |
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12-17-2005, 03:14 AM
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#5 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Marty Wright's wrestling career was put on hold when doctors found out he had worms. *rimshot* *crickets*  Darth Maul had Nunzio where he wanted him. Now to taunt senselessly for several minutes because there was no way Nunzio could ever retrieve his lightsaber... NUNZIO: YOU SONOFABITCH YOU GAVE ME WORMS!!!!  Even Marty had to vomit at the direction of his own career. Kid Kash was determined to shut Juvy up once and for all. Unfortunately, someone gave him the wrong mug shot... And here we see a young Roddy Piper grappling with Carlos Colon Sr.... That Kid Kash... able to make a pin AND fetch a beer at the same time! It was views like these that made Rey ever so willing to help Melina "stretch." The "Imitate the Boogeyman Dance" contest was on, and early on, Dancin' Dave Batista was showing tremendous promise. MNM and Rey's remake of the Karate Kid was going great until Joey botched the Crane Kick. As the dance contest moved onto the Nazi Boogie, Dave was still going strong... Batista was taking this whole hugging thing a little too zealously. Tragedy struck when Rey's attempt to catapult through the glass ceiling was met... by a reinforced glass ceiling. This was certainly the most unique menage a trois in wrestling history. Batista may have won the match, but in his tired state, he was unable to foresee the sudden attack of... MINIVADER... who had to rely on non-Force methods of choking people. And this is why MINIVADER failed. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! "The Glass Ceiling's a homo!!!!  "Melina and Mercury were too upset over what had happened to realize that a reincarnated Ultimate Warrior had suddenly run into the stage area. Right about this point, Michael Jackson jizzed all over his TV. BOOKER: Dayam... shoulda used Tag Body Spray. Unable to help Melina with stretching, Matt was left with Booker T, but it just wasn't the same... The stretching exercise turned tragic when Matt suddenly spotted a penny. JBL: ...................................... no. There is no spoon. BOOKER: *sniff sniff* Daaayaaaam! ORTON: I don't get it. I've never even heard of this so-called "C-Fedding" but everyone's convinced I can't hold on to balls. The Undertaker was even more fearsome, now that he had gained control of the Dementors. "BEHOLD! The world's hugest gold bullet!!!" This was certainly a most unique way of opening a Mark Calloway Lifesize Beer Bottle. It was bad enough that Randy had beaten Taker senseless, but then he had to bring a jar of poop into the ring... TAKER: ..... so that's what the mat feels like. Last edited by Corkscrewed; 12-17-2005 at 03:27 AM. |
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12-17-2005, 05:38 AM
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#6 |
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Ninja Mod, Esquire
Posts: 12,676
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The itsy bitsy spider, WWE style.
  The itsy bitsy spider was found by JBL and shipped to Smackdown. He thought it would be great to bring a little bit of Afghanicana back to Smackdown. Kid Kash and Nick Patrick weren't exactly thrilled. In fact, Nick screamed like a girl and wet himself, while Kid Kash, being the noble man that he is, sacrificed Super Crazy. Johnny thought he had the spider trapped, but the bastward was just to quick. Within seconds, the spider had killed Joey and returned to hiding. In fear, Rey held Batista close. Unfortunately, the spider came back, and with lighting fast speed, disposed of Batista. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Rey cried. In his outburst of blind emotion though, the spider struck again. Melina couldn't save Rey in time, but she was able to save the upper part of his body. Thankfully, one of the spiders two known enemies was present and kept it from attacking... The smell of fish. Using the Undertaker as bait, Randy lured the spider. Hilarity ensued. Courtesy of the spider, The Undertaker didn't have to pretend to be dead anymore. Looking back, some wonder if Randy did actually kill the spider during that faithful battle. Afterall, while he couldn't save the Undertaker, the spider itself was never seen again..... Some however, believe that the spider fell prey to the other of it's two known enemies. A hungry Boogyman. |
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12-17-2005, 09:12 AM
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#7 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Kash: Don't *Smash* Call *Smash* Me *Smash* R *Smash* V *Smash* D *Smash*! Batista: Oh... My GOD! I LOOOVE YOU GUYS! *Bastiats comes running towards them* Nitro: Oh... Mercury: Shi- *Double clothesline* Batista: Whoops. X Pac had nose bleed seats at SmackDown!, but that didn't make his sucking power any less effective. Rey: ADRIAN!!!!! ADRIANNNNN!!!! I DID IT! Batista (in Rey's ear): These are the tag titles, no one gives a shit about them. Rey: ... SHIT! I know that the WWE likes rehashing gimmicks, but Booker Kane? JBL: Stop.... In the name of love... Matt:  ............... YOU FECES! I'M GOING TO GO TELL MYSPACE ON YOU!Randy: Oooooooo... I like shiney red balls!  Sadistic: OMFG TAKER TOOK AN UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT! HE IS FUCKING HARDCOORRRREEEE! Taker: I didn't know what Randy was doing with the urn, but I knew I was powerless to stop it. The first officially released project from WWE's new movie department, a Film Noir movie, didn't fair too well. |
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12-17-2005, 09:44 AM
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#8 |
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Don't be hatin' bitch!
Posts: 874
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Oh my god! It's Medusa! |
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12-17-2005, 09:48 AM
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#9 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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Lita botches Rey Mysterio trying to put Batista in a Sleeper Hold. Ok I am gonna get flamed for this one cause this sucked. 
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12-17-2005, 11:44 AM
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#10 |
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TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04
Posts: 29,886
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No, you won't. We will however give you a
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12-17-2005, 11:44 AM
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#11 |
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Bent his wookie
Posts: 1,420
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Rey Mysterio was relased from the WWE today. When questioned by various sources on why Vince realsed Rey given his current push vince had to say "Can hunter do a moonsault?,no, so then what the hell makes Rey think he can? HUH....IM VINCE MCHMAHON GODDAMNIT!" |
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12-17-2005, 12:43 PM
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#12 | |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,349
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12-17-2005, 03:27 PM
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#13 |
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Viva la Raza
Posts: 3,539
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At this very moment, the Boogeyman was climbing in the ring to take a bite at Booker's head. JBL: Don't mean to be mean, Matt, but that's one long nose you've got. Matt: Er, John, I'm over here... JBL: Well then... what the hell am I...? Stevie:  Stevie: RANDOM WEDGIE!! Booker T: Randy: What the hell...? Undertaker: Mfmfgmffhhhfmghhh!! Rhyno:
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12-17-2005, 03:41 PM
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#14 | |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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12-17-2005, 04:32 PM
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#15 |
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I Just Passed You By!
Posts: 1,107
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Somewhere, George Lucas and Mick Foley are weeping at the sight of their creations botched together in such a shoddy fashion. Kane: Version 749236458 Kane Version 749236458 trying to be Kane Version 1 aka, Dr Yankem... ...and Kane Version 5's brother, The Undertaker. A strange attack. Render them unconscious with B.O, but hold their nose so they can't smell it. Er, Kash, I don't think his neck is supposed to go that way... ...or his spine THAT way (he IS lying on his stomach isn't he?) Rey:BOOBIES! MUST GRAB BOOBIES! Melina: Aw, honey, your arms are too short. Let me help you. Rey: OK! Drunk Captain Jack Batista: I'm not sure I deserved that... Drunk Captain Jack Batista: He might have deserved that one... Rey: Don't suppose you deserved that one either? DCJB: Oh no. I did deserve that one. When I first saw this pic, I didn't see the ropes and thought it was a big f'n Clothesline from Hell. Rey: Damn you Benoit! In this re-enactment, Melina = Stephanie McMahon, Mercury = Triple H and Rey = Shawn Michaels. Read into it what you will. Rey: No! He's giving me a belt! You know what this means? Batista: No..? Rey: When we lose these titles in a months time, I'm gonna have to wait 18 months before I get any kind of push again! Batista: ...I like eggs! Batista: See you in 19 months, Rey! Rey:  Seriously, Rey, get over it. At least you still have a job... MNM all had one question on their minds: Why would you shoot Ol' Yeller? Batista: I will hug him and pet him and call him George. Rey: Oh, shit... Booker T: Matt, let go of my leg and fall down! Matt: I can't! I'm stuck! Both: RHYNO!!! Everyone was so engrosed with Matt and JBL, no-one noticed Tony Chimell have an "uh-oh" moment. It seems Stevie Richards has learned how to make other things invisible. Here we see Booker T step on the invisible banana skin. A SmackDOWN! first: Shirley Bassey accompanying wrestlers to and from the ring. Phsychiatrist: And Hunter made you do that every night while you were in Evolution? Undertaker: We're men in tights! Call us sissies and we'll punch out your lights! I'm not sure if Paul Bearer has got in shape or let himself go... As impact was made, Randy realized he had pick up the real chair and not the fake one. The ending for the Hell in a Cell match was immediately altered. Announcer: First and 10 for goal, wait a minute, we got ourselves an injury over here... Undertaker: I can't remember where I parked my truck... RKO: Eeeee, that's a bad 'un innit? RKO (to himself): What the fuck am I supposed to do with this shit? Evolution  |
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12-17-2005, 04:42 PM
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#16 | |
Posts: 1,108
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12-17-2005, 05:08 PM
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#17 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Batista: Hey, now I got another title I never have to defend! Rey: Yeah, that isn't really cool...(trails off) |
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12-17-2005, 05:11 PM
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#18 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Nitro: Did everything just lose color? Melina & Mercury: Um...yeah?!?! |
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12-17-2005, 05:17 PM
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#19 | |
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Is Finkle
Posts: 88,943
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12-17-2005, 05:32 PM
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#20 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Taker: Rose... bud... Booker: IT WAS HIS SLED! Sharmell: There, he just saved you two of the most boring hours of your life. |
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12-17-2005, 05:44 PM
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#21 |
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A Proud MF'R
Posts: 1,429
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rotflmao @ evolution's caption of batista calling rey george....thats great
Introducing the newest tag team in the WWE Booker T & Steven Richards.....When it'a time to finish their opponent Steven goes for gay sex while Booker goes for the axe kick |
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12-17-2005, 05:48 PM
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#22 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Druid 1: Are you as hungry as I am? Druid 2: ya man, I'm staaarrrved...look, a gazelle! *at that moment Undertaker came in and ate the gazelle* Narrator: The Druids will have to wait their turn...... |
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12-17-2005, 07:55 PM
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#23 | |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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12-17-2005, 08:14 PM
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#24 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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WRITER: How can we get the Boogeyman to stop singing? VINCE: I don't care. Just give him something to stuff in his mouth. Like worms, only... Less stupid. [He gets up and leaves.] WRITER: So, worms works for everyone? The look on Nunzio's face says it all: What the fuck must you be on to grow pubes around your bicep? BOOGEYMAN: SHANIQUA SHALL HAVE HER LIPS! NUNZIO: Gesundheit... Super Crazy learned a valuable lesson that day. Never tell Kid Kash you have a loose tooth. Wow! I've never seen someone draw so much heat that their tattoos combust! NICK PATRICK: Hey, look! I'm swimming! Hey! Kid! Look! I'm swimming! You're not looking! KASH: JHOOOOOOOOO! REY: This is fun! Tell me again why we don't swing-dance at ringside more often. Oh, right... [WHACK!] Joey may have landed the right hand, but nothing could combat the Super Loogie! NITRO: Yeah, Joe, that's some wicked air guitar. Now HIT HIM ALREADY! MERCURY: Neer nuh nuh nuh waaaaaaaaaaa! BAH GAWD SWEET NIP MUSIC! WRITER: Hey, wait, if he can do that and knock both guys out of the ring, then they get up and finish the match, how come JBL c-- VINCE: [Clears throat] WRITER: I'm fired, aren't I? MERCURY: Whoa... NITRO: Yeah! Invisible trapeze RULES! Huh. So I guess there are things denser than black holes. BATISTA: Not this again... REY: Sell iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! REY: OW! I just found it, I swear. BATISTA: You just found Joey's title belt? Come on. Let's go and apologize. REY: BUT I WANNIT! BATISTA: Dude, where'd the rest of your head go? Their victory celebration was short-lived, as Rey and Dave were quickly devoured by the Abominable Snowman. MELINA: Now do you see why we tell you not to pop your pimples? JOEY: [Sobbing] MELINA: Don't worry, guys. We'll get those belts back. JOHNNY: Yeah. Hey, wait, you're not hot! BATISTA: [Sniff] Mm. I love the smell of leather. Reminds me of my days in Evolution. REY: Because you used to ride in expensive cars with leather interiors? BATISTA: Yeah. The next cast of "Spamalot" was announced this week, and the one choice that has everyone scratching their heads is the actor chosen for the role of Tim The Enchanter. CLETUS: I CAUGHT A HEAD! Aw... This one done been scooped out. JBL: These are not the droids you're looking for. MATT: These are not the droids I'm looking for. TAZZ: What the hell is he talking about, Cole? COLE: [Beep whistle squeak] Oooooo. MASTERS: Hey, wait, this isn't right. HHH: You're supposed to put his right LEG on that one! Okay, the Spamalot thing was weird, but look who they got to replace Kevin Costner in the new "Bodyguard" remake! [Five years ago.] SHRINK: Randy, I think it's clear that you still have an oral fixation. RANDY: What does that mean, doctor? SHRINK: Well, you're smoking an invisible cigarette right now. Don't worry, though. I think I know just the industry for you. UNDERTAKER: Okay, which one of you Jawas shrunk me? BOB: DAMN! That's a big acorn! The makeup process for the role of Chairface Chippendale in the new live-action "The Tick" was a painful one. UNDERTAKER: I ain't got time to bl-- Oh, well whaddya know? Well, now I've seen everything! Who knew that chairs got boners, too? Note to self. Next time I want to shave my head, leave it to the professionals. RANDY: Your forehead's crying... RANDY: Hey, did you know it hurts when you jab this thing into your chest? UNDERTAKER: Of all the rings in all the arenas in all the world, he had to walk into mine. |
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12-17-2005, 08:38 PM
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#25 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Nick Dinsmore thought he had hit rock bottom when Vince asked him to play Eugene... ...Somewhere out there, he's laughing his ass off. Cthulhu debuts in the WWE. "Got your nose!" Mini-JBL vs Mini-Carlito? Das cool. It was nice of Kid Kash to take time out in his match to help with quadraplegic aerobics. Reverse childbirth. The Wolfman debuted poorly, stealing what he thought were Tajiri's "mist" capsules, but getting his garlic supplement instead. The WWE's first Siamese twins. Dancin' Dave wasn't the only one who cold botch dance moves. "TAKE THAT, CLONE ARMY!" Mercury: You didn't. Nitro: Just a little. Mercury: He's stuck to the glass ceiling! Nitro: Yeah, I know. A little of that Super Glue goes a long way. MNM valliantly try and stop Rey from being eaten by the ropes. "I should have teamed with a dog. They only hump your leg." "I can't believe we finally won the..." "...Illegal immigrant title?" Even now, Eddie's memory lives on. Rey: Did you really...You know...With Melina? Batista: Do what? Rey: Come on, man, you know, IT! The horizontal mambo? Batistia: I don't know that dance... Rey: ...Just...Smile and Wave... In a heel turn, Batista gives a thumbs down to God. Tonight, the part of Joey Mercury will be played by Lorenzo Lamas. (Apologies if I have the wrong guy, Nitro and Mercury look too much alike for me to care) WWE perfumes(tm) present: Confusion--For men. "And then Triple H and Vince McMahon declared that Cruiserweights were worth as much as any other superstar, and could receive pushes just like hosses." "That was a great story, Uncle Dave. Tell me another fairytale." The WWE's first negro stereotypes match: A housekeeper versus some jackass chanting "I'm Rick James, BITCH!" "Oh, you are SO going on my livejournal!" "Listen, Matt...I was just joking around when I said I screwed Lita...I only like men, I swear!" When Adrian Paul asked for his character to be written out of Highlander, this isn't what he had in mind. Randy: And then he dropped the soap, and asked me to pick it up for him... Doctor: And...Did you get his number? Randy:... Nothing says "Gay Redneck" Like a purple motif and a cowboy hat. "You'd think my son's career would weigh more." "Oops. My bad." -OR- You know it's bad when Taker won't even put over a chair shot. The WWE has an interesting way of pitching Hershey's syrup. Randy: That's it! This tactical nuke will put an end to your 'no selling!' Taker: Where'd you get that? Randy: Why do you think I went to Iraq? And the number one way to stop the Undertaker... 1. Reruns of Doctor Phil on the Titantron. "Who's your daddy?" "I didn't expect a suppository to be so big." Top Ten Ways to stop the Undertaker: 5. Lace his Frosty Chocolate Milkshake with Roofies. |
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12-18-2005, 02:49 AM
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#26 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Wow... the number of captions I liked snowballed as I progressed.
KK picked up a lot of them.LOCKJAW: Randy Orton: I didn't INTENTIONALLY shit in that bag... I lost bowel control at that exact moment. WWKD: Honorable mention to his spider story. XERO LIMIT 126: X Pac had nose bleed seats at SmackDown!, but that didn't make his sucking power any less effective. I know that the WWE likes rehashing gimmicks, but Booker Kane? Taker: Rose... bud... MARCYO: Randy: What the hell...? Undertaker: Mfmfgmffhhhfmghhh!! Rhyno: EVOLUTION: Batista: I will hug him and pet him and call him George. Rey: Oh, shit... Announcer: First and 10 for goal, wait a minute, we got ourselves an injury over here... LOOPYDATE: WRITER: How can we get the Boogeyman to stop singing? VINCE: I don't care. Just give him something to stuff in his mouth. Like worms, only... Less stupid. [He gets up and leaves.] WRITER: So, worms works for everyone? NUNZIO: Gesundheit... Huh. So I guess there are things denser than black holes. Their victory celebration was short-lived, as Rey and Dave were quickly devoured by the Abominable Snowman. MELINA: Now do you see why we tell you not to pop your pimples? JBL: These are not the droids you're looking for. MATT: These are not the droids I'm looking for. TAZZ: What the hell is he talking about, Cole? COLE: [Beep whistle squeak] Oooooo. UNDERTAKER: Okay, which one of you Jawas shrunk me? BOB: DAMN! That's a big acorn! Well, now I've seen everything! Who knew that chairs got boners, too? KANE KNIGHT: Mercury: You didn't. Nitro: Just a little. Mercury: He's stuck to the glass ceiling! Nitro: Yeah, I know. A little of that Super Glue goes a long way. "I should have teamed with a dog. They only hump your leg." ---- "I can't believe we finally won the..." "...Illegal immigrant title?" Even now, Eddie's memory lives on. ---- "You'd think my son's career would weigh more." "I didn't expect a suppository to be so big." |
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12-18-2005, 03:05 AM
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#27 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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Bob Orton stole the urn and flew away with it using HIS BIG DUMBO EARS. |
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12-18-2005, 03:31 AM
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#28 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Orton: See, you guys, you never listen to me. I said that there was going to be trouble, but you didn't listen to me. You guys are crazy. You know, you guys are self-destructive. There's a funny farm and it has your names written all over it, but I'm gettin' outta here. Tha... I smell ice cream. |
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12-18-2005, 04:32 AM
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#29 |
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Franchise of TPWW
Posts: 15,458
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No caption as I would suck at those, but this is just a cool as picture. |
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12-18-2005, 08:18 AM
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#30 |
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'11&'15 RWC CHAMPIONS
Posts: 1,569
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 Randy: I admit i have sexual tendacies towards men. Ill have more later. |
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Linear Mode
