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Old 12-28-2005, 12:05 PM   #1
loopydate
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RAW Captions (December 26, 2005)
It's the last RAW Captions before the 2006 Caption Contest! So, enjoy your last round of non-competition!












































































Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
Loopydate, you are the pinnacle of too-muchery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azriel
Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate View Post
*Waves to CANADIAN*

Sadly, the old days are gone, my friend.

*Sews Shaggy's head back on*

This is what we're dealing with now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poit View Post
I feel like I just read a Noid post covered in the semen of dreams.
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Old 12-28-2005, 03:00 PM   #2
Nark Order
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WWE Flashback: The early days of Stone Cold Steve Austin
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Old 12-28-2005, 05:11 PM   #3
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What?! Somebody called my momma?!
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Old 12-28-2005, 05:14 PM   #4
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Lita: Go on...you know you wanna try it. See if you can actually park a bike in my cleavage!



Inevitable catchphrase of the week award...

Flair: Wasuuuuup!!!

(I know, it's so year 2000, and if someone had to do it, why not me?)



Triple H carefully checks the "never to be pinned again" clause before signing...something which has been affectionately dubbed in wrestling circles as the Hulk Hogan ruling.



Kane: Hmmm...not bad, 26 seconds.
Chioda: Yeah, about 2 seconds shorter than your push this last year.

I'm new to this, so sorry if I suck.
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Old 12-28-2005, 05:26 PM   #5
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Vince: Who the fuck are you?
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Old 12-28-2005, 05:58 PM   #6
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Voice On The Phone: I STILL REMEMBER


Steven Richards cops a feel and Lita botches being pissed


Edge & Lita are stunned when Flair turns into the Inbcredible Hulk


Vince: You cute little puppie would you like to play with my grapefruits


Daivari: You're what???
Angle: No way
Ref: Yes i'm in love with Mae Young


WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-28-2005, 07:44 PM   #7
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Vince tried to play it casual, but his worst nightmare came true the day Bret Hartbecame majority stockholder in WWE.



"BIG BOOT!"




Snitsky would learn that popping your bacne was bad when he foundhimself stuck to the mat.




Michaels: Rhyno?
Ref: Nope. Just touched Snitsky.




The new Inflatable Lita doll...So realistic, it's like sticking your dick in acid.




Conan O'Brien from 1996 called...He wants his gimmick back.



"Neeeeeeeeeeeehaw, Cona...Edge!"



Ric: I hear your brother's doing well for him self over in T-N-...
Edge: Okay, enough from you!




Lita's "Come Hither" stare was ruined by her compulsive vaginal flossing.




Two words: Flair Missed.




Edge: Holy shit, what did he just use on me?
Lita: You mean wrestling?
Edge: Yeah. And now he's mocking me using that stuff...
Lita: Charisma?
Edge: I'm scared. Hold me.




Torrie was confused. The dog was not large, male, oiled up, or in any way harming buyrates. What had Vince so fascinated?




Tired of pretending, Kurt withdrew the sock, and vowed: Now more stuffing!

---


Daivari: What do you mean no kissing in the ring!
Ref: I'm sorry, but the WWE has banned anything that might lead to "You're a homo" captions.

Daivari: How do you explain that, then?
---



Kurt: Oh yeah. I can see it. Fourth Row, there's cotton candy.
Daivari: And pretzels!
Kurt: This low-carb diet is killing us!




Vince: I've never seen anyone enjoy a handshake so much.
Striker: I don't wash my hands after I use the bathroom!




Hunter: Where'd my thumb go?
Big Show: Worst. Magic Trick. EVER.




"Where's your heart? Huh! I'll make something disappear!"




The tragic debut of the new WWE supercruiserweight division.




"Now Show...Hold still...There's a fly on your head..."




"I'll just sign this ccontract, and once again hold down the...Women's division?"




"You mean it's a bra and panties match?"




Mickie: You see the mistletoe...You know what that means?
Trish: Time for a tasteles ratings grab?



Trish: Why didn't I just go into porn?




Cena: KARATE CHOP!

Shelton: For the last time, you do NOT know Kung Fu!




This black on black crime needs to stop.




Angle: What do you know? The time stopper works!




"Foreign object my ass! That time machine was made in AMERICA! It was only assembled in Korea!"




"You're...The last black guy to get a push in the WWE? And you're WHERE?"




Chavo calls himself a homo.




Some may say Masters is improving, but when you sell a bodyslam like this...




"These hair plugs really do feel natural."



Romeo: At least we got to LOOK above the glass ceiling.
Antonio: Nobody told me it was air conditioned.




Kane: I have no time for bird impressions! Help me give one ofthese guys CPR!




Carlito: My hand is stuck. Das not cool.




"You're awful pretty when you're sleeping."




"Who wouldn't?"





"Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
Last edited by Kane Knight; 12-29-2005 at 01:38 AM.
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Old 12-29-2005, 01:34 AM   #8
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I was gonna post, but it takes too much effort.
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Old 12-29-2005, 08:12 AM   #9
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Vince McMahon shows us his worst nightmare come true.


REF: HERE'S your lesbian!
SHAWN: Uhh, what did you call me again!? That was Hulk Hogan, not me.


EDGE: Oh, I have it so good.
LITA: Hey Jeff...you're next!


Conan's invisible mug had just what Ric Flair wanted: A nice mug of hot water.


Lita botches giving herself the mandable claw.


EDGE: He has talent.
LITA: That he does, this needs to be fixed.
EDGE: We must go to Mr. McMahon.



I knew Vince was into sick things...but OH MY GOD!!!



While Kurt Angle screamed at the top of his lungs for someone to get him out of the Titantron, Eric Angle posed as Kurt in order to get on TV...as he was the one to put Kurt into the Titantron.



DAVARI: YOU see double, too?
CHIOTA: Of COURSE I do.
ANGLE: Not drunk enough. Let me give you some more vodka and we'll see how many you see THEN!!


"I fixed my match with Daniel Puter for THIS!?"


Striker botches grabbing Vince's grapefruits...and Vince stares at him, wondering how he could miss something THAT DAMN BIG!!!



TRIPLE H: You know what, Big Show? I WAS about to call you a homo, but seeing as how Coach has been fondling himself ever since we came out here...


HOT FATBOY ACTION!!!


"[reading]Triple H sells his soul to the belt[/reading]...wait, but didn't I already DO that? Then...what AM I signing anyway." Suddenly the pudding came out of nowhere and squashed Triple H in 10 seconds.


ERIC BISHOFF: Only one thing missing, and that is a simple question...DID SOMEONE SAY...THREE MINUTES?!!! [does anyone get why I did this caption with this photo]



Angle's career flashed before his very eyes.


"What? You mean I'm actually popular, the WWE likes me and it's pushing me, and I'm colored? And what's that? It's all just a BIG DREAM?!!" NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"


VINCE: Now, about that deal with me getting Luna Vachon for myself!!!
SHAWN: Now what, Vince?
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Old 12-29-2005, 11:18 AM   #10
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Lita: World, I just can't take it anymore. I've gone over the edge. I'm just gonna end it all. Goodbye to all.
Flair: Uh, Lita, you have to have a gun in your hand in order to commit suicide.



Vince: Who's a cute puppy? Whos a puppy? Who's a cute little puppy?
Chloe: I'm not telling you anything you....
Vince: WHAT?!?!?!



Vince: This is a movie.



Ref: He is the winner.



Vince: SHOW THE FOOTAGE ON THE TITANTRON!
Kurt: What?
(On the titantron)
Kurt's dad: Did you use foul language in front of a lady?
Kurt: NO DADDY NOOOOOOOO!
*Whipping sounds followed by kurt screaming*
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Old 12-29-2005, 12:14 PM   #11
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Vince: And momentarily I'll be taking this into the bathroom.



Shelton: Charlie!? Is that you? They told me you were dead!
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Old 12-29-2005, 12:17 PM   #12
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(The conversation just before Shelton made this face.)

Momma Benjamin: Shelton, I gotta tell you somethin' honey.

Shelton: What?

Momma: Well, you know that guy Vince McMahon who gave you a jorb?

Shelton: Yeah, what about it?

Momma: Do you know WHY he hired you?

Shelton: Because I have talent?

Momma: HELL NO HONEY! Because I slept wit him! He's yo daddy!
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Old 12-29-2005, 07:19 PM   #13
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Vince: Hey bitch.


Having realized Cena can't sell phones, Shelton became the spokesperson for Boost Mobile.
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Old 12-29-2005, 07:55 PM   #14
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Shelton:So You cant hear me now? GOD DAMMIT *throws phone at Wall*
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Old 12-29-2005, 07:59 PM   #15
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HLA HLA HLA




HGA wasnt such a sucess
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Old 12-30-2005, 12:35 AM   #16
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Vince: So YOU'RE the Weegro!
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Old 12-30-2005, 02:04 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PorkSoda



Vince: Who's a cute puppy? Whos a puppy? Who's a cute little puppy?
Chloe: I'm not telling you anything you....
Vince: WHAT?!?!?!
ROFLMAO
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Old 12-30-2005, 03:19 PM   #18
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The aftershocks of Vader's fall are already making their way through a second time.
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Old 12-31-2005, 04:29 AM   #19
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Trinity(on phone): It's the question that drives us.

Shelton: Where is my push?

Trinity: The answer is out there, Shelton.
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