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Old 01-03-2006, 01:22 PM   #1
loopydate
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RAW Captions (January 2, 2006) - The Caption Contest Begins!






































































Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
Loopydate, you are the pinnacle of too-muchery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azriel
Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate View Post
*Waves to CANADIAN*

Sadly, the old days are gone, my friend.

*Sews Shaggy's head back on*

This is what we're dealing with now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poit View Post
I feel like I just read a Noid post covered in the semen of dreams.
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Old 01-03-2006, 01:47 PM   #2
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Once again, I am quite new to this, hope you enjoy.



Cena: If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Angle: But what about us?
Cena: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Angle: When I said I would never leave you.
Cena: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Kurt, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now



... Here's looking at you kid.



Triple H decides that this promo requires the puppet, Little H....but he soon realises he forgot it...what the hell, it's live TV...we'll wing it!!!



Vince: What the hell? Did that thing just wink at me?



They told Lita to sell the "love" with Adam. Guess what...she botched it!!!



Who the hell invited Vince Russo back to write for the WWE?

Trying to build on the success of HLA, and more recently, HGA...he introduces HIA...Hot Incestral Action ***shudder*** (Sorry)



Joey: Did you see the size of that Rat?
Coach: It was like...this big man.
King: If it runs past again, I'll use this on it!!!
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:22 PM   #3
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The RAW midcarders finally stand up to Cena and sacrifice him to God, seen in the background.


Donkey Kong finally gets wise and steals Mario's mallet.


Hunter: Big huge Big Show, stompin' through the forest... Along comes Hunter and hits the Pedigree!


Vince: Did I just hear myself say... THREE MINUTES!?
*Vince takes off his mask to reveal that he's really Eric Bischoff.*


WWE's idea to change Kane's gimmick again to "Steven Crack'em, Chiropractor" didn't work out too well.


Vince: Does this suit make me look fat?


Chloe (thinking): Who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here!?


WWE Presents Romeo and Juliet.


Mom: You need some powa, honey! Mmm hmm! *Twirls head*
Shelton (horribly acted): But... how do I... get power?
Mom: Well, you just need some Chunkah soup, hon!
Shelton: Gee... Thanks lad-er... mom...


WWE's newest toy, Rock'em Sock'em Jobbers!
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:27 PM   #4
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Show: This is what happens when you masterbate too much
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:32 PM   #5
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Carlito and Masters do the "Internet Happy Dance"


HHH: Here Show, num nums!


Lil Hunter Foo Foo burying all the wrestlers...





Kane: And now to find out who really did screw Bret Hart!

*rips off head*

Kane: I knew it! Blood Hose did it!




Does she have her thumb up that dog's ass?
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:38 PM   #6
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^I don't get it her thumb is nowhere close to its ass
----------------------------------

Lawler: Look a quarter!
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:39 PM   #7
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the Pudding returns from injury, with a surprise heel turn.





"Too much...hersey's...Entering...Sugar Coma..."




See, this is why you should always start with the basics. It was nice of John Cena to teach retarded kids to wrestle, but he should have known not to start with the superkick.




"The dildo was HOW big?"




Daivari was saved once more by the time stopping Angle.




"Not the mama!"




"Raw hasn't been the same since JR left. I mean, look at this! nobody can fill this ass indent."




Big Show's injury actually came from his sparring match with the Star Wars kid.




Hunter was mesmerised by "Sock-Puppet Dinner Theater."




"I'm so bad at you, Hunter! I'm gonna kill...Hey kid, you gonna finish that?"




At that moment, Show knew he had broken his finger.

Never give someone the bird in a cast.




"...And she was clawing at the walls like this, screaming 'ride me, Hunter!' And you can expect a new installment every week until I am once agian champion."




Vince smiled. If tales of Hunter screwing Linda didn't equal ratings, he didn't know what would.




This would be a greater contorversy than Montreal. It turns out that Vince replaced Shawn's "hair spray" with whipped cream.



"Well, Shawn, I've made an interpromotional deal with TNA, and you're going to be jobbing to Sharkboy for the next coule of months. but there is good news...I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico..."




Nothing to caption here, just have a look.



They always talked about stepping on people to get to the top. Kane never expected they'd stick to hsi shoes.




"God, do I really look like that, Shawn?"




"Do you...Enjoy...Holding a stick like that?"




Allegations of rape were bad enough, but to actually have Victoria rape Maria?




"Oh my God...Is that?"

"It feels like...Cottage Cheese!"




Victoria: Maria...
Maria: Yes?
Victoria: Is that roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
Maria: ...I'm happy to see you.
Victoria: ...




"Oh! that's the morning after pill for her!"




I don't know which part was funnier. The fact that Lita botched intercourse, or that Flair didn't seem to notice the difference.




[/sarcasm]




"This...is the last time we let Lita pick a position."




"You were watching me the whole time?"

"Yeah, but only because I want to be JUST like you. Hey, what about that part where you grabbed your..."

"Nevermind."




"Is that...Is that a third nipple?"




I'm at a loss for words.




Mama: Once you go black, you'll never go back...
Shelton: Is that why Haas has resigned?
Mama: ...




WWE Fun Fact: Chris Masters is actually a licensed brain suregeon.




Furthering the racist direction of the Shelton Benjamin character, Shelton called upon Voodoo spirits to shrink Chris' head.




Helms: I don't think it's supposed to hurt like this!
Lawler: Don't worry, son. I've almost got the quarter.
Helms: That's my eardrum, you idiot!





Helms' attempt to call the King a homo took a surprising turn, as King slowly took the finger into his mouth, slowly sucking...
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:44 PM   #8
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King: Hey peter look what I fucked your mom on last night!
Styles: quit it
Coach: Yeah he's gonna tell

King: Oh shit
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:47 PM   #9
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Kane: AHHHH a porn star get it off! get it off!
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Old 01-03-2006, 03:24 PM   #10
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Edge:WEEEEEEEE Mike Time!


Helms: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....TV Time
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Old 01-03-2006, 03:50 PM   #11
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LOL's
IMPECCABLE:



Vince: What the hell? Did that thing just wink at me?

XERO LIMIT 126:


Donkey Kong finally gets wise and steals Mario's mallet.


WWE Presents Romeo and Juliet.

LEGEND:



Show: This is what happens when you masterbate too much

[ that's the first CotM candidate right there ]

KANE KNIGHT:



See, this is why you should always start with the basics. It was nice of John Cena to teach retarded kids to wrestle, but he should have known not to start with the superkick.



"The dildo was HOW big?"



"Raw hasn't been the same since JR left. I mean, look at this! nobody can fill this ass indent."

[ Another CotM candidate IMO. ]



"...And she was clawing at the walls like this, screaming 'ride me, Hunter!' And you can expect a new installment every week until I am once agian champion."




This would be a greater contorversy than Montreal. It turns out that Vince replaced Shawn's "hair spray" with whipped cream.



I don't know which part was funnier. The fact that Lita botched intercourse, or that Flair didn't seem to notice the difference.



Mama: Once you go black, you'll never go back...
Shelton: Is that why Haas has resigned?
Mama: ...



Furthering the racist direction of the Shelton Benjamin character, Shelton called upon Voodoo spirits to shrink Chris' head.



Helms' attempt to call the King a homo took a surprising turn, as King slowly took the finger into his mouth, slowly sucking...




As you can see... someone's dominating. But great stuff, KK.
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Old 01-03-2006, 04:11 PM   #12
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The first ever WWE/Nickelodeon SLIME TIME MATCh was ratings.



The Riverdancing lessons were NOT going well with the men...


Same with the ladies...


Despite his expertise in practically everything, even Kurt Angle had a helluva time trying to frame the John Cena EZ-Use Camera in the right position for that perfect photo shot.


What Daivari didn't know was that Cena could call upon the attack ticks that lived on his right shoulder to swarm his opponents at will.


Daivari knew replacing the other side of the chair with a mirror would be a great idea. Cena could see his true self, then commit suicide when he realized he was a homophobic, poop rapping face everyone hated.


KING: "In short, never put a steel chair on a table and tell Big Show it's a hamburger."


BIG SHOW: "RRRRROAAARRR!!! I thought I could eat it!!!!"


You know WWE programming is bad when even the superstars are trying to destroy the TV.


Hunter's plan worked perfectly. Show would punch the chair and inadvertantly get himself sucked into the wormhole HHH had manufactured on its face. Eggcellent...


You know the WWE's new drug policy ain't working when even Mr. Socko shows up to work seriously over-roided.


HHH's Bedtime Stories, featuring Mr. Fluffy, where a huge hit with Mr. McMahon.


Vince shows off his new "how to finger a girl with three orifices" hand-pose. Take that, Matt Hardy!


Vince and the camera mic moved closer. It was love at first sight, and that first kiss would be sensuous...


KANE: "Dammit, these born-again Christian Jehovah's Witnesses never go away."


Nothing to see here. Just a previous gimmick flash back for Kane Yankem, DDS.


VINCE: "Is it... talking???"


The new WWE Groping Match was a huge success.



It's great that Torrie doesn't want Chloe to suddenly attack everyone and all, but looping a string through the dog's nose to pacify her was a little too extreme...


Flair loved reading Shakespeare while getting dry-humped by a slut in the morning.


Actually... Flair loved getting dry-humped period.


LPD: "You call that an angry face..."


LITA: Oh no! I left the oven on!!!


Mickie James' new role as FCC Censor was not so hotly received.


WWE Films presents: Alfred Hitchkcock's LEZBO PSYCHO!!!


MAMA: "Hold on, you got some lettuce stuck in your teeth."
SHELTON: "MOM!!!"


The WWE reached new lows when they re-enacted the Rodney King beating.




LAWLER: Cringe all you want, Greg, but we've got to get this Babelfish in your ear if you're to understand all the various lanugages we'll encounter as we travel around the galaxy...
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Old 01-03-2006, 04:56 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed

LAWLER: Cringe all you want, Greg, but we've got to get this Babelfish in your ear if you're to understand all the various lanugages we'll encounter as we travel around the galaxy...
Helms: Will it let me understand Dusty Rhodes?

Lawler: ...The fish isn't MAGIC, Greg.
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:09 PM   #14
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Trish: STEVEN!?
Mickie: TRISH!?
Steven:
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
Helms: Will it let me understand Dusty Rhodes?

Lawler: ...The fish isn't MAGIC, Greg.
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:54 PM   #16
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King: Anyone want this before I put on Ebay? It even has the dent where J.R farted.


The year is 1942 and still no-one gives a crap about rap.


Somewhere, Mick foley is crying.


In an act of entertaining kids, Triple H tells the story of how judy jobbed to punch.
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:57 PM   #17
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Haven’t read them yet, sorry for any stolen jokes.




“50 Cent ain’t got nottin’ on me, biznich!”


Daviri: I’m kicking him because he’s American!
Carlito: I’m kicking him because he’s not cool!
Masters: I’m kicking him because he’s a no talent hack!
Angle: And that’s why I’m about to kick you.


Cena: 50 bucks? You’re on! There is no way O’Haire is still alive up there!


It’s one thing for someone to post a “kick me” sign on your back, but another thing for someone to post a Prussian guy screaming “KICK ME” on your back.


To kick off the new year, the new Raw announce team
From left to right- Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Stevie Richards, and Phil.


That was mah sammichin’ hand… SAMMICHIN’ HAND!!!!!!”


Cast over the hand or no cast, if Triple H wanted to show you “The Best of Jeff Hardy, Vol 3, The Promos” you’d smash it also.


And somewhere in the great state of Oklahoma…
JR: BAHGAWD! That steel chair literally dented the sammiching hand of the Big Show!


Triple H: Do you know how ridiculous you look with that bulky cast?
Show: Oh yeah? Well what the fuck is up with that mustache?


So Vince, how many more times can you sell your soul to the devil?


HBK: ‘scuse me, sir, do you know where my smile went?
Vince: That-a-way!


Never ask Kane to help you “install” your smile.


The REAL reason why Steven Richards still has a contract.


Vince: I’d hit it… I might even PAY for it!


Surprisingly, you don’t see the fans in the background. That’s the line to the bathroom.


*And now, a glimpse into their minds…*
Candice: …*chirp chirp, chirp chirp*
Torrie: At the tone, please leave a message. BEEEEEP…….
Chole: Oh god, you take ONE dump in Vince’s shoe, and this is what you get? I’ve said I’m sorry, I sent him a fruit basket, and I’m STILL stuck here… could be worse, I guess… He could have made me a cruiserweight on SmackDown.


Ric Flair: Oh yeah, love that titan tron, baby! Lita, on her back, The Nature Boy with someone in the figure four, and so many “Cena Sucks” signs shown on live TV… WOOOOOO!


Empowered by the soul of Big Vis, Edge has a sudden and strange urge to eat the microphone.


Lita botches rape.


Lita: Say it isn’t so… please…
Edge: I’m sorry, but it is….
Lita: No more juniors division on SmackDown!!!
Edge: What? Oh, yeah… uhhh… It’s that…. Yes, it’s not the fact that you’re a no talent hack…
Lita: I miss the midgets alrea—wha?


And somewhere in 29 Palms, CA, one guy’s fantasy was about to turn into reality… All she had to do was drop the towel…


Mama: Mama didn’t raise no homo!
Shelton: Then stop calling me a homo!
Mama: Stop watchin’ dat “queer eye” show!


I don’t know what the hell is going on here, or why Chris Masters is preventing Shelton from fixing the titan tron, but hey, since when did Monday Night Raw need to make sense?
King: He kissed me like a homosexual! I ain’t gay!


Vince HAD to raise the bar when it came to toilet humor by saying he had to go “number three”


Cena had no idea just how much heat he got that night until he felt the impact of one single bullet.
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Old 01-03-2006, 06:26 PM   #18
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I'm the Boogeyman and I'm coming to get ya!!!!
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Old 01-03-2006, 07:11 PM   #19
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There were many great ones in this post, but

Quote:
Originally Posted by FourFifty


To kick off the new year, the new Raw announce team
From left to right- Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Stevie Richards, and Phil.

*And now, a glimpse into their minds…*
Candice: …*chirp chirp, chirp chirp*
Torrie: At the tone, please leave a message. BEEEEEP…….
Chole: Oh god, you take ONE dump in Vince’s shoe, and this is what you get? I’ve said I’m sorry, I sent him a fruit basket, and I’m STILL stuck here… could be worse, I guess… He could have made me a cruiserweight on SmackDown.
Them two is some of the best shit I've seen.
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Old 01-03-2006, 07:36 PM   #20
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Haven't read any other captions so theremight be repition...




Cena screamed in pain as his left arm deflated mid-match.




...Rosebud..... [/rip off of a recent caption]




Cena: I have fallen from the glass ceiling and cannot get up. Won't you help me Kurt?
Kurt: Sure. *swerve*


Cena: Retard attack! Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrr.
Daivari: Get away!




As an attempt to make Cena more of an "against the odds" fighting champ, they decided to make him a hunchback. But the make-up department was lazy and they decided to just attach Daivari there instead.




MY HAND IS A CHEF AND IT MAKES MY FOOD!!



Show thought HHH was holding an animal cage and tried to smash it open so that he may feast on the creature inside.



It was bound to happen. Big Show got too heavy for the airplane. So they cut off part of his hand.




Vince tried to distract Shawn as he sprouted another limb.



Vince: What's I gots in my pocketses?



The pain wasn't in the Figure Four. It was in Flair's rendition of Hamlet.



*CHOMP*



She proceeds to eviscerate Shelton.



Chris Masters, hijacking airplane spins since 2005.



King: What's this in your ear? It's...... Snitsky?
Gene: IT WASN'T MY FAULT!
Last edited by Lock Jaw; 01-03-2006 at 09:31 PM.
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Old 01-03-2006, 08:23 PM   #21
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Wildlife Narrator: And here we see the dominant male attacking the weaker of the species ....oh wait this is WWE, the writers don't know SQUAT!



Cena will never ask where babies come from again.



The robot dancing competition got off to a good start with Daivari taking and early lead.



King: This is what The Divas used to keep me away when I was..um..drunk.

Styles: Yeah, I can see the mark.

Coach: It's really small, are you sure you're a dude?



ROAR! BIG SHOW HUNGRY! BIG SHOW WANT TO EAT!



The little fat kid in the bottom right corner was the REAL owner of WWE, he just wanted someone that looked important to make TV appearances. He failed at that.



Vince: HALT! How goes there!?

HBK:



Vince: So, How you doin'?

Lilian: Welcome to 1998.

Vince: YOU'RE FIRED!

Lilian: I mean, wow, you are so hot!

Vince: You see kids, that's how you get the girls.

*WWE Superstars take notes*



The Playboy Mansion welcomes you to....FUN!



What a bitch!



Flair's daycare center went down a treat.



Teenage boys around the world: DO IT NOW! STRIP AND GO IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!



Moma: You gotta catch that mouse NOW thoma....um Shelton.



King: See, you turn his ear and his arm goes up. How cool is that!?
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:02 PM   #22
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Vince shows the crowd how old he was when he lost his virginity.



Edge: Ill give anyone here free sex tonight if you go and rape Flair?
Excitedly, Lita says: Deal



Flair: What the Fuck, Security get this slut off me.

Yeah they kind of sucked Oh well.
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:10 PM   #23
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Vince counts the number of fans cheering Cena....
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:13 PM   #24
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"Momma" (in a manly, souther voice): SHELTON? SHELTON! THERE YOU ARE!
Shelton: JIM!?
"Momma" (whispering): Shhh... This is the only way Vince would rehire me.
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Old 01-03-2006, 10:04 PM   #25
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King: oh Mortie Ya got some schmutz on ya cheek
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Old 01-03-2006, 10:10 PM   #26
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John Cena forced Kurt Angle to help him to talk to Stephanie about his push.




Thankfully, Kurt escaped before John Cena had to convince Steph if he could "pop" the crowd.



John Cena was helpess, as Carlito,Daivari, & Masters couldn't stop the glass ceiling from coming down hard on him.





Lex Luger's new "Homosexual Roid Rage" gimmick went over really well with the crowd as he digitally raped John Cena.



Steven Richards doesn't get enough credit for his performance in this great triple threat match.



Daivari bothed his orders when Kurt told him to fuck Cena's back up.



Jerry Lawler was considering cutting the WWE's losses when Coach's shitty announcing forced the announce table to commit suicide.



Big Show's new "Mr. Chef-o" finisher wasn't all that impressive.



Triple H & Big Show were showing 2 things through this wonderful skit:

1) What they wanna do to the TV when The Coach is announcing

and

2) What they wanna do to the TV when John Cena is wrestling



Big Show literally covered up Coach's public execution at the hands of Triple H.




Big Show was convinced his new 95% Man/5% Mummy gimmick would go over huge.




Triple H gets insane amounts of heel heat as he explains how to correctly finger Stephanie McMahon.




Vince quickly corrected Triple H's mistake.




Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon star in 0069:Octojackhammer



The foreplay to the climax was really hard to watch.



Vince: Wow! That is a lot of homosexual pornography overtones.

or

Not even Vince was immune from "playing the game" in order to keep his job.

or

Steven Richards stole John Cena's gimmick when he made Vince McMahon "CHOKE ON DEEZ NUTZ!"



Shawn Michaels, doing the christian thing, helped remove the thorn from Kane's boot while making him giggle with his Triple H O-Face impression.



Kane repayed the favor by working on HBK's teeth for free AND a handless massage in his most tense area.



I haven't done a sex storyline with you yet have I?



X-Pac's return during the divas match ended in tragedy.



WWE's Hardcore Breakdance Orgy DVD was a huge success.



The WWE's attempts to live up to the new marketing slogan "make you feel RAW" were a little extreme, but much appreciated.



Chloe could play mind games like no other canine. Her Kennel From Hell Match at New Year's Revolution against FiFi was shaping up to be a real classic conclusion to a classic rivalry.




Ric Flair just couldn't put on the performance he wanted to in order to get the lead in "WWE's Hardcore Breakdance Orgy II" so he came out with "Figure Four Sluts Vol. 1"



The fans didn't know how to react when Edge announced that he was to co-star in a film with Lita and Ric Flair called the "The Sex Edgeucation Of Adam Copeland".




Edge botched the "Anal Totem Pole" scene.



Lita and Edge slowly walked away from what became known as the "Volcanogasm Incident"



HLA Wars: The Boobies Strike Back




Where are you gonna be when your stalker acts up?



Shelton Benjamin's first major motion picture: Ebony Kreuger



However, the special effects were rather shitty.



Chris Master's new prison rape gimmick wasn't going over so well with the other superstars.



Dusty Rhodes' first decision as new head RAW writer: The "Exorcism Of Ebony Rhodes"



Jerry Lawler auditioning for the role of "Shelton's Momma"



Gregory Helms shocked the world when he announced it was actually HIM, not Brian Christopher who was Jerry's kid.
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Old 01-03-2006, 10:21 PM   #27
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Ric: NOOOOOOOOO its so large its developed its own Graavitationol Pull
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Old 01-03-2006, 11:25 PM   #28
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King: Which one of you sumbitches am i gonna have to knock the hell out


Fan: Hey Vince how many times have you sucked Hogan off


Vince: Hey what will $50.00 get me


Heres the proof that Steven Richards and Victoria are still teaming together


Lita botches doggy style
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Old 01-04-2006, 12:13 AM   #29
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Hunter offscreen talking to vince: It was a good trade, I let him have the belt, and he becomes steph's new Gynocolagist (sp?)


Cena: DAMMIT KURT. I NEED YOU HEAD TO BLOCK THE HOLE. SO MUCH BLOOD!


Kurt reading sign on the back of Masters: If you can read this I'm gonna break your nose....Shit


Kurt: Catch the ball John, Dammit catch the ball
Cena: I caaaaan't


Daivari recoils in horror as Cena tries to eat his own shoulder


Cena: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Daivari: Let go John
Cena: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Daivari: Don't let it control you, let it go
Cena: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Daivari: Wait, whats that cribble on the bottom of the chair.....Hunter and I did it right on this chair....
Cena and Daivari: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH


Coach:...
Styles:...
King....Whaaat?


Big show (Yelling): I FOUND OUT WHAT WAS BLOCKING THE TOILET VINCE


HHH: I'm sorry show, nobody told me this was your lunchbox.


Big show: I told you I was just big boned




Helms: I'm...Not...A Monkey..
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Old 01-04-2006, 01:04 AM   #30
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And this is why WWE now has mandatory CPR lessons.



John had called the cameraman a homo for the last time.



Chris Masters' Neil Armstrong was always a big hit with the boys.



Kurt Angle: Nazi Hunter



CENA: I should probably get that checked.



COACH: And Daivari hijacks the chair! ...get it? Guys?

JOEY: Oh, my God...



KING: If I have to pretend to be in awe of "The Masterpiece," one more time...

JOEY: Uh, King, we're back on.



SHOW: Okay, who's the genius who papier-mached my hand while I was asleep?



HHH: Okay, fine. We can watch Wonder Showzen. Jeez. No need to get all "monster" about it.



COACH: RHYNO?!?

STYLES: STEVE CORINO'S ROOKIE MONSTER H-- Oh, right.



Paul Wight BEGGED for a new gimmick. "Stumpy" wasn't quite what he had in mind.



HHH: Okay, so maybe I'm not a "team player..."



Yes, even Vince wanted to see the 3 Live Kru reunite.



VINCE: Time-Out Chair. Now.

HBK: Aw, man...



Weirdest. Proposal. Ever.



Vince's reaction after seeing that Candice's episode of "Hotel Erotica" was going to be on Cinemax that night.



HBK: I can hear the ocean!

KANE: Can I put my foot down now? This really hurts.



KANE: Do you want some pie, Mister Michaels?

KANE [moving HBK's jaw]: Why, yes I would, Kane.



VINCE: Man, this stuff I found in Ric's gym bag is fantastic. Even Mae Young looks good to me!



Victoria applied more pressure, but no matter how much it hurt, Maria was determined to finish her aria.



REFEREE: Judo CHOP!



MARIA: Wow! I'm, like, up to my elbow in here!



TORRIE: Yeah, that's right! Use her like a hand puppet!



Ric Flair, the only worker I can think of who can beat up a woman while checking Stevie Richards for a hernia.



Edge froze. He knew he had a line here. Then it hit him. Botching can pass through osmosis.



Fortunately, that problem could be turned into a positive just moments later.



LITA: Honey, where's your briefcase?

EDGE: ...my briefcase?

VINCE: Briefcase?



TRISH: No, Mickie, I don't "wanna get high." And that impression is getting really annoying.



MICKIE: Okay, the bad news is, you're not invisible.



Shelton was such a fan of "Scrubs" that he hooked up with the head nurse.



NURSE: No, I will not tell you what happens to Elliot at her new job!



SHELTON: NO! I'm not popular! I swear!

MASTERS: Sorry, man. Hunter's orders. We've already got it put up.



Masters wins. Fatality.



KING: And I know for a fact that this beard...is FAKE!

HELMS: OW OW OW OW OW OW!



HELMS: Dude, you got a boog.
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Old 01-04-2006, 06:43 AM   #31
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Charlie: The things you do to get back on TV.
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Old 01-04-2006, 01:18 PM   #32
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Apparently, Triple H was late delivering Big Show's double cheeseburger.



Triple H's retarded Kevin Nash impression always seemed to entertain Maria.



Flair: REPUNZO! LET ME OUT YOUR FLASK! WHOOOOOOO!
Camera man: She's dead, King.
Flair: WHOOOOOOO!



Victoria: Vince, if you don't hire good talent soon, then your show is gonna be full of blondes like this.



Cena's reaction when Vince told him that he's not doing the Crippler Crossface right.
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Old 01-04-2006, 02:17 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Impact!


Kurt: Catch the ball John, Dammit catch the ball
Cena: I caaaaan't!
Triple H off-screen: He can't even CARRY the ball!

Evolution
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Old 01-04-2006, 04:45 PM   #34
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Cena in a zombie voice: Brains... Brains... a new gimmick... a new gimmick...


Carlito and Masters: London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady.


Cena prepares to shove the invisible javelin down Daivari's throat.


King: Oh, so THAT'S what the chair was doing there. Oops!


Show: BRING ME A SHRUBBERY!


Show: THAT'S NOT A SHRUBBERY!


HHH: This chair's not very comfy. Hey, Show, give me a hand, would ya?


Show: No, no I don't have a foreign object inside this cast


HHH: He's got the LARRRGE teeth! He's a Killer!


Hey, Vince! How many guys with talent did you fire today?


Vince: I shall call it "Mini-Arm". Now go fetch Big Show a shrubbery before he turns on me.


Kane starts having flashbacks to his Isaac Yankem days.


Vince: Lillian, didn't you miss your turn pleasuring me today?


Man, Bull Nakano looks GREAT after that gastric bypass surgery!


No caption, just


Flair: Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well...
Lita: Great, he's gone off the deep end again. How can I not botch this this time?


Flair: What's the matter? Did Randy Orton steal your My Little Ponys?


Shelton's Mama: BYGAWD BBQ SAUCE!!!
Shelton: Mama???


RAW brought to you tonight by the letter L.


Helms: Would you hurry up and pull the quarter out already!


Helms: Worst. Magician. Ever.
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Old 01-04-2006, 07:05 PM   #35
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Now that there has been sufficient time, my favourties of the bunch:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight


Victoria: Maria...
Maria: Yes?
Victoria: Is that roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
Maria: ...I'm happy to see you.
Victoria: ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed

You know the WWE's new drug policy ain't working when even Mr. Socko shows up to work seriously over-roided.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourFifty

To kick off the new year, the new Raw announce team
From left to right- Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Stevie Richards, and Phil.


Mama: Mama didn’t raise no homo!
Shelton: Then stop calling me a homo!
Mama: Stop watchin’ dat “queer eye” show!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Impact!

Big show (Yelling): I FOUND OUT WHAT WAS BLOCKING THE TOILET VINCE
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Old 01-04-2006, 11:21 PM   #36
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Anyone have suggestions for which of my captions I should archive?
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Old 01-04-2006, 11:34 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
[IMG]



KING: If I have to pretend to be in awe of "The Masterpiece," one more time...

JOEY: Uh, King, we're back on.



SHOW: Okay, who's the genius who papier-mached my hand while I was asleep?



HBK: I can hear the ocean!

KANE: Can I put my foot down now? This really hurts.



KANE: Do you want some pie, Mister Michaels?

KANE [moving HBK's jaw]: Why, yes I would, Kane.




TRISH: No, Mickie, I don't "wanna get high." And that impression is getting really annoying.



KING: And I know for a fact that this beard...is FAKE!

HELMS: OW OW OW OW OW OW!
These ones made me lol Loopy
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:01 AM   #38
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)

I'm lazy, so I'm not going to post everyone that made me laugh. Good job everyone!
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Old 01-05-2006, 04:28 AM   #39
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will post more favs tomorrow, after I go to bed and dream about how USC could have beaten Texas... even tho they didn't.
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Old 01-05-2006, 05:38 AM   #40
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Lita botches menstruation


Somehow, Cena's new retarded ape gimmick was booed even worse by the fans.


It was Shawn's own damn fault. He knew Kane was trying out for the Rockettes, and he still wouldn't get out of the way
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