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Old 01-15-2006, 01:11 PM   #1
loopydate
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SmackDown! Captions [1-13-2006]


















































Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
Loopydate, you are the pinnacle of too-muchery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azriel
Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes
Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate View Post
*Waves to CANADIAN*

Sadly, the old days are gone, my friend.

*Sews Shaggy's head back on*

This is what we're dealing with now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poit View Post
I feel like I just read a Noid post covered in the semen of dreams.
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Old 01-15-2006, 01:21 PM   #2
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Batista: Sorry Teddy, but I have to give up this title.

Triple H:

Belty: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


SmackDown! Roster: *Gasps* Talent!


Belty: Who the hell are you!?

Angle:


The SmackDown! writing team were at a stereotyping all time low, by making Booker T shoot and kill Benoit to win the U.S Title.
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Old 01-15-2006, 01:25 PM   #3
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Rey helped wrangle the poor, helpless, lost walrus.
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Old 01-15-2006, 01:46 PM   #4
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Dave: I LOVE YOU MR PEANUT!!



Henry: WHERE ARE YOUR CHEESEBURGERS?!
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:42 PM   #5
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"Paul Carrington told me to enjoy the ride.......thanks paul."
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:45 PM   #6
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Henry: Iiiii'mmmm HUNGRY!!

Lashley: i...HATE FAT PEOPLE!!!
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Old 01-15-2006, 04:00 PM   #7
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Kurt Angle's drill instructor gimmick is better than I thought.
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Old 01-15-2006, 05:05 PM   #8
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Henry: (Singing) I work at Burger King making flame broiled whoppers, I wear paper hats. Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that? Ding fries are done Ding fries are done I gotta run I gotta run.......





Smackdown's Live Sex Celebration didn't bring in good ratings either.
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Old 01-15-2006, 06:26 PM   #9
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Kurt demonstrates how badly Smackdown blows at the moment.

*I don't really think that, I'm really liking Smackdown in recent weeks
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Old 01-16-2006, 12:03 AM   #10
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Kurt was the only one who dared step forward to oppose Stevie Richards.
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Old 01-16-2006, 03:20 AM   #11
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Kurt: One for you

Rest of roster(singing): Here we go, here we go, here we go....and get BURIED again.
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Old 01-16-2006, 04:27 AM   #12
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Old 01-16-2006, 05:50 AM   #13
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Batista:"I'm telling you, Teddy, I'm just so dam hungry"


Long: "I can't do anything about that Dave. I asked you before we came out and you said you weren't. Now get on with your promo"

*Batista snatches the title belt*

"What the...."


"Dave Batista hungry.... mmmmhhhhh..."
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Old 01-16-2006, 03:02 PM   #14
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I try not to look first, so sorry if I double up.




Batista: *sniff* I just went to a screening for the wrestlers of Kane's new movie. *sniff* Man, is it BAD!

Batista: In fact, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 2.


Kurt: Man, who farted?
JBL: He who smelt it dealt it.


We finally get rid of Jillian's mole, and now THIS?!?


Mark: I knew Mike Tyson. You're no Tyson.


Mark was able to grow even stronger by removing the ReyRey growth and adding an Angle growth.


Damn, Angle's hung like an elephant. It's even the right color.


*BONG* *BONG*
Orton: Not HIM again...


Booker shows off the moves and the leisure suit he got from Disco Inferno.


Boogey: I'm very ecstatic to be here.
Mark Henry: You're no Mike Tyson, either!
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Old 01-16-2006, 04:00 PM   #15
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Batista finds out they're running with the "Melina is a dude" angle.




Contrary to JR's claim, this title was made of chocolate.




"I did not...Have sexual relations...With that...Title..."




Batista: HANDS! HANDS!



Batista tells the fan how Smackdown's ratings were doing.

...This is not millions, this is number of fans.




Kurt's plan to overthrow the McMahons did not go well...



...Until he summoned the force of Glitter...




Kurt: I thought you dropped the Nazi gimmick, John?




Note to Tough Enough stars: The ring ropes are not a tampon.




This 619 backfired when Henry began to chow down on Rey's leg.




Generic Longhair 1: Can I have a turn?
Generic Longhair 2: You've had yours.
Generic Longhair 1: No I didn't. You always cheat on blow the midget.




Henry: You're a homo!
LAshley: Did someone say Hodown?




Noting that live sex was so popular on Raw, Vince decided to make Kurt and Mark an item.




Mercury: Does Rhyno know you're using his glue?



Kurt Angle: Carrying Smackdown's dead weight with a broken freakin' neck!




Kirk: Beam me up, Scotty!




Randy: What's wrong, Chris?
Chris: I dreamed I put in years of work, only to be overlooked in booking and see someone on Raw win the Smackdown title instead of me....


Benoit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!




"Well how the Hell did you get the entire title in your mouth?"



The WWE's new dress code proved ineffective.




In an attempt to one-up the boogeyman, Booker bites the head off a snake.




The WWE's first "partnership" Ceremony: Whoopi Goldberg and Charmelle.




"Did someone just say...Three minutes?"




"Hon, I didn't want to say anything, but you're pulling a Janet Jackson."




Note the definition of the facial paint. This culture clearly values tribal marking to signify status.




In this instance, the male, obviously a chieftan or tribal leader, performs a traditional dance to seduce the female. We at National Geographic have dubbed it "Skulllfukkalickus."




Though primitive, the chieftan understands sensuality well. He opts for the facial growth region, a highly erogenous zone only recently discovered by medical science.
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Old 01-16-2006, 04:35 PM   #16
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Bastista: Peace.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:41 AM   #17
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Laughing
Haven't ready any. Sorry for copycats.



"And then I put Old Yeller down. And it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do..."


BATISTA: 'Fucking Rhyno...'


BATISTA: "I'm sorry I can't be there to defend my belt for you and the brand."
LONG: "And I'm sorry I had Mark Henry shoot you in the ass."
BATISTA: WHAT?!


Dave's scret obsession becomes revealed when he orders not one but TWO bacon liver mashed potato pies.


KURT: I'm a fricking Olympic medal winner. Why the hell am I the last one to be picked on a team????


The Kurt Angle roller coaster simulator was a huge hit with the boys backstage. Here, Kurt is taking JBL up the lift hill of Millennium Force...


LASHLEY: 'YES!!!!'


Tragedy struck when Ric Flair told Mark Henry there was a sandwich in Rey's crotch too.


Poor guy had to be carried backstage after massive groinal injuries.


LASHLEY: "What the...?"
BUM ON RIGHT: "I'm you from the future, and I'm telling you to get out of wrestling now before you get pushed to the WWE Championship, then get screwed out of making any sort of living because of a stupid 10 year no compete clause and wind up living homeless out on the street!!!!!"


KURT: "Dammit, Mark, for the last time I don't have a cheeseburger in my shorts!!!!"


MARK: "Baby Kurt sucks. It was much easier to care for a disembodied hand last time."


To celebrate his victory, Kurt had Captain America disintegrated.


Rey calling for the ghost of Eddie Guerrero to help him was bad enough, but things really crossed the line when Benoit invoked the spirit of Bret Hart...


After realizing Orton had seen the Edge/Lita sex tape, Benoit knew he had to prevent Randy from vomiting in any way he could.


Ever the sneaky bastard, Booker T pretends to do a native tribal fire dance before hitting Benoit with the belt out of nowhere.


"THE CHOCOLATE!!! IT'S ALL MINE!!!!"


"I'm so glad you're happy to see me!!!"


Here we see Sharmell with the first ever WWE optical wardrobe malfunction illusion...


The thing Vince loved most about the Boogeyman was how he'd eat anything--even the dead careers of depushed wrestlers.


Things went to far when Boogeyman scalped Jillian Hall.


Here we see some of the perks that inspired a young Darth Maul to join the Dark Side of the Force.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:48 AM   #18
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My Favorites of this Batch
COOL KING:


SmackDown! Roster: *Gasps* Talent!

XERO LIMIT 126:



Rey helped wrangle the poor, helpless, lost walrus.

LOCKJAW:



Henry: WHERE ARE YOUR CHEESEBURGERS?!

PORKSODA:



Smackdown's Live Sex Celebration didn't bring in good ratings either.

PARKMANIA:


Damn, Angle's hung like an elephant. It's even the right color.

KANE KNIGHT:



Henry: You're a homo!
Lashley: Did someone say Hodown?



In an attempt to one-up the boogeyman, Booker bites the head off a snake.



Though primitive, the chieftan understands sensuality well. He opts for the facial growth region, a highly erogenous zone only recently discovered by medical science.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:44 AM   #19
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Batista sheds a tear when he realises Kurt will be having his last ever match at the Royal Rumble


Batista realises the belt finally no longer smells like HHH


In more WWE stereotypical characters, Teddy Long steals Batista's belt while hugging him.


Batista shows the jobbers how many fingers Vince likes in order for a push


The smacdown roster couldnt believe it, Kurt had finally slain the Giant in black boots.


Kurt began his training with JBL on how to carry a good match


Sylvan: Why am I the only one with white pants?


As much as Mark Henry yelled at him, Lashley couldn't take his eyes away from the gray hair stuck in Mark's beard....



How to Properly botch a Power bomb example 1


Kurt wondered where he had seen the red white and blue material raining down on him before


Then it struck him....BURCHILL


Benoit: BUUUUUUURCHILL


Benoit tried as hard as he could, but he just couldn't get Randy to look away from HHH and stephs live sex show replay


The belt was stuck atop the glass ceiling, and there was no way in hell Booker was letting go.


Sharmell: Come' ere baby
Booker: Seaaaaan let me join yooou.
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Old 01-17-2006, 05:21 AM   #20
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Dave: Man the dust is bad in the ring.

Anyone who has seen Bro'Town knows what im talking about.
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Old 01-17-2006, 02:31 PM   #21
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Dave: I made a huge mistake. I bet EVERYTHING on the Colts...



Dave: INCLUDING the World Heavyweight Title.



Dave hands the belt over to the bookie.



Bookie: Thanks, Playa. I always wanted a big gold belt.

Dave: I bet my shades that the Patriots won, though...



Dave was wrong again...



Kurt's mighty sneezes are known to clear entire rings...



Kurt had to go to great lengths to get JBL up to the chin-up bar.



JBL: I haven't spent this much time upside down since the last time I was in Vince's office...

Smackdown Lockerroom:



Rey's heel turn was complete after he squashed the Boogieman's head.



Mercury: Hey, what does "Eg" mean?

Nitro: Egg? Who's cooking eggs?

Mysterio:



Henry: Hey Kurt, how did you turn black?

Lashley:



Kurt: For the last time, I'm not Buddha. SO STOP RUBBING MY BELLY!



Kurt may be a wrestling god, but he just BOTCHED the Tarantula here...



Kurt: I see spots... and they are red, white, and blue... and they are... turning into scorpions? THEY'RE ALL OVER ME!



Kurt:... and is that the Ultimate Warrior over there?... Why is he saying that "Queering don't make the World Work?"... and Why is he giving Pat Patterson a Handjob?... THAT'S IT, NO MORE ACID!



Tired of selling a reverse chinlock, Benoit decides to order a beer and some popcorn.



Now we learn why you should never steal Benoit's popcorn...



The first ever "Booker T on a wire" Ladder Match ends tragically.



Patrick: Ohmigod, you killed Benoit!

Booker T: I'm a BASTARD!



Sharmell is feeling the effects of a vicious one-armed bearhug by Mark Henry.



Randy: Do you think I am a legitimate Superstar?

Booker:

Randy: Where's your bag?

Booker: in the third locker to the left of the men's locker room, why?

Randy: No reason. *grabs a newspaper* heh heh heh...



Booker: Dude, I was totally hanging out with RVD, man...

Sharmell: Let's get busy later, ok?

Booker: I ain't THAT stoned...



Kurt's Bad Acid Trip Continues as he looks in the mirror...



Boogie does his best Hacksaw impression.



Weeks of having to stay in character on the road is taking its toll on yet ANOTHER Superstar...
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Old 01-17-2006, 02:51 PM   #22
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Little did Kurt Angle know that Rey Mysterio hit puberty and hit a tremendous growth spurt.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:41 PM   #23
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:45 PM   #24
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Mark Henry: OMFG AUSTINS GUNNA BE AT MANIA!!!11
Lashley: WHAT THE FUCK?
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Old 01-17-2006, 07:07 PM   #25
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lol
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Old 01-18-2006, 01:52 AM   #26
darkpower
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"So let's get this overwith. WWE.com already spoiled our show, so why not."



The belt wanted for Batista to use tongue action next time.



In one of the most horrifying twists ever, Batista reveals himself to really be Paul Roma and botches kicking Long's ass.



BATISTA: Teddy, get you hand AWAY from my ass!



Batista predicts how many weeks it will be before WWE releases him because they can't use him due to injury.


Kurt told JBL, never to visit him at his address at 619 South Street, but JBL didn't listen, so...



JBL tries to hang on to the glass ceiling, but Kurt wouldn't have any of that.




HOT BROKE-WRESLING-BACK MOUNTAIN ACTION!!



Mark Henry decided to show Lashly just how powerful he was when he opened his mouth and the entire fabric of space of time was sucked into his fat ass. Lashly responded with the only thing he could do: Perform the best scene with Drew Carey.


Seeing as how space and time were in danger, Kurt Angle held Mark Henry in place while he forced him to watch him smile with his mouth guard in. It was enough to make Henry puke out the fabric, with everyone with a loss as to what the fuck just happened.


KURT: NO, Mark Henry! You're supposed to be sucking McMahon's dick to continue your push, not MINE!


I knew the WWE was trying to be conservative when censoring blood by turning everything black and white, but censoring Kurt's exposed talliwhacker with a ring post was taking things a bit far.


KURT: OH MY GOD!! I must be dreaming. A wrestler, with TALENT, a champion...and it's ME?! This CAN'T be for real.



It seemed like the ghost of Triple H was going after Benoit, which slid into Benoit's mouth while Orton made sure he wasn't going anywhere.



Forget the live sex celebrations of either Lita or Steph. Orton could stand those. It was the sex between Vince and Shelton's momma that was a bit too much for Orton. Thankfully, Benoit was there.



BOOKER: Now that the title gods have answered me, maybe the theme gods can answer me why the fuck we have a Peter Gabrial song for the WrestleMania 22 commercial theme.



Cousin It botches molesting Sharmell, even though Sharmell still enjoyed it.


BOOKER: Yeah, see, unlike Triple H, I don't even try to beat you after you win the title for me. I just make you win it and then I take it. Now, next phase. Assume the position.



When good dental work, GOES BAD!!


The Bushwhackers botched their comeback in the worst way possible.



If you thought Boogyman's biting off THIS mole was sick, you don't WANT to know what other moles he was considering biting off of Jillian's body.
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:56 PM   #27
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by parkmania

*BONG* *BONG*
Orton: Not HIM again...
Not your best, but this was the one that cracked me.
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