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Old 02-11-2007, 01:30 PM   #1
Xero
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SmackDown! Captions - 02/09/07 (The Return Test Run)
Information here: http://tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=58122
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:33 PM   #2
Champion of Europa
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Boogeyman pleaded his case to the Little Bastard for the WWE's first interracial gay couple.
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:45 PM   #3
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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:47 PM   #4
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Kennedy: ... And then the beavers stole my pants...


Pardon me, good sir, you dropped your spleen!


Finlay makes the Boogeyman eat a different kind of worm.


JR: BAHGAWDPOWERBOMB ON THE TOUPEE!!


Batista gears up to make Mr. Kennedy humble, old country way.


Kennedy unleashes the "write on your opponent" attack.
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:49 PM   #5
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Matt: INVISIBLE FLOATING CHAIR!


And so begins the metamorphism of Batista into John Cena.


Boogeyman finds his long-lost hair piece.


WWE's crack team of TNA-watchers.
JBL: Zzzzz
Cole: Who the hell does Tenay think he is?


Batista: I'M ABOUT TO GO IRON SHEIK ON YOUR ASS!


Batista: Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is "Nipple Clamp Ladder Match".


Daivari: VVVVIINOOOO!!!


After Steroids were banned, Kane was clearly the most noticeably affected.
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Old 02-11-2007, 02:43 PM   #6
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Kennedy indicates where his current push is going


Finally grasping the idea that the diva search doesnt draw. The wwe launches Grease idol
Last edited by Astley316; 02-11-2007 at 02:47 PM.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:03 PM   #7
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Gregory Helms: I should've used Preparation H.




(In response to an earlier caption) Here we see Mr. Kennedy biting Batista for trying to become John Cena. ( )




WWE: the cure for insomnia





*insert gay joke here*




Lita botches Kennedy giving Batista a Titty Twister.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:45 PM   #8
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London: Dude, Brian stop grabbing my ass I'm trying to get laid here
Kendrick: Me too
London:
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Old 02-11-2007, 04:20 PM   #9
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Cole: How is that the greatest BIZZARE night in the history of our sport?

JBL: This is a sport?



Kennedy regrets putting his Batista Love Doll on 'Animal' setting



Diavari was caught thinking of the good times...when he was on Raw.
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Old 02-11-2007, 04:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126

After Steroids were banned, Kane was clearly the most noticeably affected.
hahahahaha so true
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Old 02-11-2007, 07:57 PM   #11
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Hold on a sec, Dave. You've missed a hair on your chest.
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:46 PM   #12
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Boggyman: MARIA!!!


JBL: Is that a Vagina or a goatee?
Cole: Thats Lita botching scrambled porn...


Wild and Crazy Guy!


Miz: Is it weird that it feels good!?


Mankind 2.0


LB: Who wants to pet the midgit?
Boogy: Im commin to get you!
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:51 PM   #13
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"Oh no! I'm out of webbing!"



"I've had enough of this hazing. Whoever stole my pants, get down here now! "




"Now will you switch your Insurance to Geico?"



Ref: Okay, settle down. Batista, you are not the Rock. Kennedy, you will need to shave your head, get a DUI, and push your wife down a flight of stairs before you'll be even close to Austin. Now sit down or I'm turning this ring around!



Batista doesn't taste like chicken.



Finlay's new submission, the "Submit and Molest," or S&M.



"Who brought the Tribble?"



Batista may have retained the title, but he lost his testicles by DQ.


"Buy WWE stock? What kind of idiot do you think I am?"



"Think happy thoughts, Ken..."


Kennedy: Whoop. Stray hair.


"I am not a crook."




Daivari, not happy just to be the first man to give birth, becomes the first man to give birth standing up.


Undertaker's new "Thumbsucker" gimmick was off to a good start.



Moves Lita tought me #2: the Chokeslam.




"Hoo...Rah?"


Undertaker: Dance, my puppet...





The Miz wins over the smarks by nailing an impressive huricanrana into the announce table.


"Find the L...Find the L...THIS ONE'S LEFT!"


Fonzy learned never to hang out with RVD before a match.



"So why'd you call your finisher the "circle jerk?" "
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:37 PM   #14
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Boogeyman and the Temple of Doom
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:38 PM   #15
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Dice Man always gets the chick
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:40 PM   #16
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JBL: These directions suck. How am I gonna put this thing together?
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:43 PM   #17
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*Finlay clutches to Boogeyman*
Boogeyman: What the hell man!?
Finlay: I just saw the worst thing to ever crawl the earth.
Boogeyman: What, me?
Finlay: No, Chyna's clit.
Boogeyman: ...Hold me.
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:50 PM   #18
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Referee: Ooo...your bellies are so soft..oooh.
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:53 PM   #19
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One WSX fan tuned in at this very moment and though "HOLY SHIT! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!"

When the table didn't explode, causing a 3.5 earthquake on the Richter Scale, he vowed never to watch WWE again.
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:58 PM   #20
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JBL: I don't think watching "Heroes" on the company's time is a smart idea.
Cole: Would you rather call the match?
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:59 PM   #21
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Rhino's newest prank, the Shrink Ray, didn't work as expected.
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Old 02-11-2007, 09:59 PM   #22
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"Didn't they ever tell you to 'Avoid the Noid'?"
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Old 02-12-2007, 03:43 AM   #23
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The crowd was unimpressed by Undertaker's Gene Simmons impression.
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Old 02-12-2007, 08:23 AM   #24
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It would seem as if X-Pac has taken up living in Sean O'Haires cage


KK: You know what I really hate,Guys in blue shirts...Theres one behind me isn't there


Ref: HIIIIII GUYZ


KK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Batista: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


MacBeth WWE style


Ref: Alright Helms, there's a bee on your crotch. Just hold still.


Finlay: RED ROCKET


A Shaven cousin it slams Finlay on top of mini it


Ref: Muscles
Batista: Crotch
KK: Feet


JBL: Easy to assemble my ass


Batista: SUUUUURPRIIIIISE

Ref: Buttsecks?


KK: Got your steriod induced pimple

Batista: Hahahehe


Daivari thinking to himself while looking at a chick in the crowd: Man, I'd hit that like my 12 wives when they don't cook me dinner


Taker: Whoa, RVD was right, this is some trippy shit


Matt Hardy shows off his invisible Surfboard on his invisible waves


They did the monster mash


The devistating Teabag Piledriver


Here we see the end result of the Teabag Piledriver
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:08 AM   #25
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Not really a joke caption, but....

If I were to name only one reason I can't take Undertaker seriously.
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:25 AM   #26
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For the return of the SD captions, Matt Hardy decided to put on his best 'Tarzan leap' pose. Unbeknownst to Matt, 5 years ago he did the exact same thing. Except back then, his girlfriend hadn't fucked Edge.


I'm telling you right here, right now. I AM NOT THE THIRD HOLLY BROTHER............brother.


Vince, i had my two front teeth pulled out for you. For this! For this gimmick! You've injured me. How can I even eat the worms as you ask without my front teeth. I hate you.


Patrick - Guys, there's no point in really putting on any form of an act. No-ones watching.


Ref - Now, Dave - I can just about feel what you had to lunch. Rey Mysterio I think. Ken, you had burritos.


The referee realised that they didn't call him the 'Animal' for nothing, as Dancing Dave let rip with one of the foulest smelling eminations in the history of Smackdown.


As the ref tried to kill the worms investing the ring, Boogen was happily receiving the fine breast milks of Finlay.


Boogen shocked everyone by coughing a furball into the path of his new finisher. The Pussy Plunge was to take the WWE by storm.


Dave Batista was sure his penis was that long this morning. Before the latest round of injections that enabled him to 'train longer'.


JBL was stumped at 5 across. 'A waste of space and TV time that nobody watches - 3 letters.' He asked of Michael Cole.

'ECW', said Cole with a raised brow, realising that the truth about his feelings for his co-commentator would not be outed on this occasion.


Batista called Krystal Kane and requested the 'Orbital Interceptor' weapons system. As the beam from Skyvault descended, Batista was man and machine - POWER EXTREME!


Kennedy - 'Leave me alone, you're mean!'
Batista - 'Give me a hug Ken, all this manliness is advancing my need for affection'
Kennedy - 'No, leave me alone, you hurt me.'


Daivari chuckled to himself - 'I wonder where Muhammed Hussan is these days?', while picturing him rotting in a prison somewhere. Before the thought was even over, a shout from the audience of 'Alleh Akhbar' followed by several explosions and calls of 'Daivari killed my push!' had answered the question definitively.


Daivari, moments earlier, prepared in the ring. 'This is my big chance', he told himself. 'I must perform on the highest level'. His will however, was shattered when he realised that he was participating in a match against Sugar Greg Helms. 'Shit', he shouted aloud.


The new SD segment - 'The Deadman's exposé' started off terribly.


As the boo's and jeers increased, Undertaker replaced his clothes before announcing, 'You ain't seeing none of this tonight boys!'


Miz, host of the new 'Deadmans exposé' segment, was heartbroken at the response the crowd gave. He gave out, and rolled around on the floor crying out, 'I am not Poochy'.


Undertaker, in attempt to retake some respectability from the segment, decided to fire imaginary arrows at Miz. They cut deep and injured the poor host, leaving hm convulsing (and rapping) simultaneously.


Miz had reached the low point of lying on his back and urinating. Creating a sort of 'fountain' effect. Undertaker, feeling a bit parched, decided to have a drink and enjoyed it so much that he insisted on squeezing every last drop out of his willing colleague.


Miz, now suffering from dehydration, asked Undertaker if he could return the favour. Taker duly oblidged, even lifting Miz into the correct 'sipping' position.


Worse was to come for Miz, unfortunately he didn't realise that Undertakers urine wasn't free, and couldn't produce the $332 that he owed the Deadman. Taker, in a furious rage, decided to regurigate his lunch on Miz's 'bread basket' area. Unfortunately, as Takers lunch had included several jobbers and the remains of the Giant Gonzalez - it threw Miz into a fiery death at the hands of an unmanned announce table.


Joey Mecury debuted his new gimmick - Mankind meets John Cena - 'You can't see ... these scars!'


Grease was the word for Sunny, who returned, 300 pounds lighter and with another couple of no-hopers that would get a tag title run.


The new lifesize Ashley Navarro robot debuted on SD, with its amazing ability to freeze individuals in time. Kendrick and London ended up reemerging 3 years later, still tag champions. Then again, had they not been frozen, they still wouldn't have had a decent push.


In a shocking twist, IRS 2007 made his SD debut taking on 'Bowling Glove Boy'. He didn't endear himself to the crowd on his way to the ring when announcing 'you should pay more taxes, to pay for the war you started. And by the way, you have pay to be let out of the arena'.


Nick Patrick checked out the new IRS intently, even noticing that it wasn't a t-shirt that he was wearing, but he was a 'half-albino'.

[/QUOTE]
Next week on Smackdown:- See a talentless man without front teeth and who eats worms on TV try and insert a rope up the anus of a midget dressed as an Irishman. Compelling stuff eh!
Last edited by addy2hotty; 02-12-2007 at 09:28 AM.
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:47 AM   #27
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Is COTM the month gonna return?



This is what the ratings of current WWE programming are.



JBL: CHRISTIAN! Christian is returning! AND HERE COMES DOUBLE J! ITS THE 90's ALL OVER AGAIN! STING! STING IS HERE! RHYNO! GORE! GORE! UNPRETTIER! CHRISTIAN IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION!

Cole: John, your not watching the right station.



The Great Khali is in my pants!
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:09 AM   #28
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by addy2hotty

Batista called Krystal Kane and requested the 'Orbital Interceptor' weapons system. As the beam from Skyvault descended, Batista was man and machine - POWER EXTREME!

Centurions reference?
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:11 AM   #29
addy2hotty
yes. yes. yes.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
Centurions reference?
Oh yes
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Old 02-12-2007, 02:27 PM   #30
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JBL: Hey Cole.....two peanuts walk into a bar...one was a salted.
Cole:
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Old 02-12-2007, 02:28 PM   #31
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Impact rehashed mine, gimmick infringement!
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Old 02-12-2007, 07:18 PM   #32
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Undertaker's new gimmick as "Peter North" failed miserably when fans realized "it" was just smoke and mirrors.
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:48 PM   #33
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Kennedy: PENIS!
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:50 PM   #34
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[Music in the background] "I am a real Arabian! I will fight...[/music]
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:11 PM   #35
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Glad to see the captions back
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:18 PM   #36
Kane Knight
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You know, it's funny. This is supposed to be painful, but this is a stretch my therapist gave me. And I can stretch my arms further back than that without any problems...And I'm injured.

Not a caption, just an observation.
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:19 PM   #37
Kane Knight
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Kane Knight finally masters mind control.
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:20 PM   #38
Kane Knight
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The Undertaker's new Samurai gimmick, shown above, demonstrates the ritual suicide he will commit if he loses at Wrestlemania.
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:22 PM   #39
Kane Knight
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"Cole, why did you left Big Show get ina quickie on the table?"

"You try saying no to a 7' tall man with a hardon!"
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Old 02-12-2007, 10:23 PM   #40
Kane Knight
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"It's Morphing time!"



"Now watch my monster grow!"
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