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Old 02-14-2007, 09:17 AM   #1
Xero
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ECW Captions - 02/13/07































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Old 02-14-2007, 09:20 AM   #2
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Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! This is going to be an EXTREME game of Connect Four!


The Gene Snitsky Cabbage Patch Doll line didn't go over very well.


They don't call Stevie Richards "Deep Throat" for nothing.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:27 AM   #3
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Monty: WILD MAN!
Burke: GENERIC MMA GIMMICK!
Striker: TEACHER!
Kevin Thorn: VAMPIRE!
All: AND WE ARE! THE ECW ROSTER!
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:39 AM   #4
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Sorry Sandman, but you're not going to get over doing the robot. We reserve dancing gimmicks for fat, greased up guys in thongs.



Fed up with the oh so many close up shots of Bobby lashley, Holly proves just how hardcore he is by stomping on the camera.



Not a caption...more of a statement. I WOULD FUCK THESE THREE ALL OVER!!!!



And again....
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Old 02-14-2007, 10:26 AM   #5
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ECW Presents: Hardcore Hodown.



Lashley is deathly afraid of Spiders. Thankfully, a kind veteran like Bob Holly is always quick to help a new talent.



"YOU ATE MY COOKIE!"



"Let's see, I just pull the quarter from...Oops."



Where will you be when your diareah medicine stops working?





Kane Knight suddenly regretted writing all those "ECW on Sci-Fi" Jokes when the cast of their latest original movie took over the arena.



"I'm beating up a white boy! I'm going to get the chair for sure!"




ECW move number 37: Extreme Reacharound.



Matt Striker's flight school in session.






"You...And God...Are Homos!"



Kane: The teen years. They weren't burns so much as really bad acne.


Austin's really let himself go.




"I know Kung Fu!"
"Jiu Jitsu"
"Whatever."


Superman: The awkward years.



Undertaker arrives in ECW to make sure Punk pays his dues.


"You can see me on Heroes Mondays at nine!"

(Please tell me I'm not the only one...)


The New Breed delivers the most devastating move in Sports Entertainment...

...The WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE....PERIOD!


WWE demonstrating the new "Big head" cheat stolen from NBA Jam.



Ken Kennedy nearly died from the odor of jobbers in the arena

( YEah, I know it's not Ken...Work with me...)


Never take Fire Marshall Bill's hat.





The new Extreme Tag Team, the "Scissor Sisters."






"Oh Shit, you're the T-1000!"
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Old 02-14-2007, 11:31 AM   #6
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THIS IS HOW YOU CHOKE A BITCH!
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Old 02-14-2007, 04:07 PM   #7
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Holly: That camera didn't pay it's dues!!


Mmmmm Beefy!


BAHGAWD ITS A SLOBBERKNOCKER!!
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:21 PM   #8
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Holly: WEww...Bobby Lashley B.O.
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:21 PM   #9
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Extreme Staring Contest! E-C-W! E-C-W! E-C-W!
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:27 PM   #10
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EARTH! FIRE! WIND! WATER! HEART!

By your powers combined, I am Captain Lashley!



Captain Lashley, he's our hero
Gonna take McMahon down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the fan's side
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:40 PM   #11
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Further proof that Bobcore sucks at everything, including "Red Rover."




Seconds later, Lashely's mothers back snapped.




After being surgically joined at the head, Harshley was unstoppable!




ECW's first ever "Extreme Rochambeau" match.




"Here we are, face to face, a couple of Silver Spoons..."




I didn't pass the drug test? WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS!

(End cheesy 80's show plugs.)



Failed Marvel comics presents, "The Fagtastic 4."




Who's your Allah now BITCH!




Reaching a new low, RVD is forced to job in the 69.





Who says you can't get a contact high.





Sabu somehow manages to botch a Figure Four.





Seconds after being asked by a cop which direction they were driving.




Snitsky, finding a loophole in the WWF Wellness program, has begun taking radiation.





Snitsky as the new "Right Guard" spokesperson.




Snitsky's new gimmick is a male cottage cheese fetish.




A new basement is added to the doghouse when CM Punk is forced to job an arm wrestling match to Stephen Hawking.





Legend has it, the sound of Punk's head hitting the glass ceiling registered 7.5 on the Richter Scale....

....only to be outdone seconds later by the "Nad Shot Heard Round the World."





Punk sporting the shirt he was wearing 15 years ago when he decided to join Jenny Craig...after a helicopter landed on him.





Question: How does Vince decide to compete with WSX?
Answer: 3 Bores and a Whore.





Marcus and Tommy playing JBL's favorite game, "Prison Shower."





Sandman's shocking secret of Dyslexia is revealed after botching an attempt at joinining McMahon's "Kiss My Ass" club.





Not a caption, but Jesus...if I could get my mail rerouted, I would climb between those things permanently with a snorkel.





The 3 Fuckateers.





Layla wins the talent portion of the contest when she successfully counts her tits.




I hate her guts, but I'd still eat at the Y.




The referee becomes so excited by Lashleys victory that he strokes his own black cock.
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Old 02-15-2007, 12:17 AM   #12
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LASHELY: You're not the only fucktard that can work stiff!


Everyone has a little Captain Morgan in them.


LASHLEY: I quit SmackDown....for THIS?!!


"We are the ECW Brothers. We're goth, we're stiff, and we're colored, too."


BURKE: This is what you get, Hayes.
SABU: Uhhh...I'm Sabu, you fucking dumbass.
BURKE: Oh, um....THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, TURKAI!!
SABU: *gives up*


RVD: THERE'S our stash, Sabu.
SABU: And there's the glass ceiling that we'll never be on top of again.
RVD: BUT THE STASH!! I NEED SOME WEED!!
SABU: GODDAMNIT, RVD, enough with the.....THAT'S WEED?! Well why didn't you say so?


RING ANNOUNCER: And, coming to the ring....whoever the hell THIS guy is?


"I hope you like chocolate cock, FOOL!!"


Did I mention that I got one huge, sick-ass vampire feitish?!


Can you guess which one of these two ladies is really a guy in drag?


Last resort for these three: Showing the guys how big their vaginas are.


LASHLEY: God, Holly, are you NOT tired of DP using gay sex jokes in these captions?!
HOLLY: Hey, it's the only way he'll actually GIVE a shit about me!
LASHLEY: Yeah, you have a point! You can't wrestle for shit!
HOLLY: W-WH-WHAAAT?!!*grabs Lashey's balls*
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Old 02-15-2007, 12:27 AM   #13
Champion of Europa
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Bill Cosby was none too happy that Hardcore Holly did not want any Jello.
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