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Old 02-21-2009, 10:05 AM   #1
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SmackDown! Captions - 02/20/09

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Old 02-21-2009, 10:08 AM   #2
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Shelton: Chavo, we've been together for a while now, and *Grab* I think it's time we-
Chavo: Now. Is not. The Time.


Goldman: LOL, I'm fired.


JR: BAHGAWD RAZOR'S EDGE!


Wrestling is Fake - Exhibit #ZZC35


Jeff: Get those tables, big boy!


Jeff finally realizes that the SmackDown! logo is the SmackDown! fist in disguise.
Last edited by Xero; 02-21-2009 at 10:13 AM.
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:18 AM   #3
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Wazzzzzup!!!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:22 AM   #4
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Vickie: The new Mexican whore deodrant spray for the Edge!



Edge: Oh fuck no!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:24 AM   #5
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Ref: You're all homos! I'm getting out of this sausage fest!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:25 AM   #6
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HALAYLIYAALAILIYAAAAAAA!!!!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:27 AM   #7
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Chavo: And I was like ewwwww...I just got my nails colored from that beauty parlor and...
Shelton: You sir are gay!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:29 AM   #8
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Kozlov: I LOVE DOUBLE DOUB-*VZZT*
Nace Windu: Get this mother fuckin' jobber out this mother fuckin' ring!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:32 AM   #9
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Edge: No please stop!
Jeff (sick laugh): I am gonna lick it, suck it and I am gonna BITE it!
Edge: Oh My God!
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:35 AM   #10
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J.R: BAHW GAWD! Edge with that diabilitating powerslam! Boom shakala Tazz Boom shakala!

Tazz:
Last edited by GD; 02-21-2009 at 10:44 AM.
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:40 AM   #11
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New from wweshop.com: Jeff Hardy suction shoes. Allows you to walk along the glass ceiling with ease.
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:44 AM   #12
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Ref: Oh my God Becky look at her butt !
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:01 PM   #13
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As always, not reading any before I do these so jokes may be repeated.


JR: BAHGAWD IT'S THE ZOMBIE!! THE ZOMBIE HAS MADE HIS RETURN TO THE WWE!!!!


Edge: You idiot, Jeff! It's supposed to a PINK Igunana!


Chavo: Nope, I don't see anything... What am I supposed to... OH GOD!!
MVP:


Scotty: Alright! I'm on TV! Vince promised me a big push!
Vince: (Out the door....)


IT WAS THISSSSSS BIG!!!!!


The WWE severance package comes with a complimentary backrub.


Umaga's new Magician gimmick certainly impressed Lil Naitch.


Umaga attempts to milk his opponent.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:05 PM   #14
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Edge:Man first I marry that Mexican now I get dropped by the alien and predator's kid
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:06 PM   #15
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Edge: Is that the ShamWOW guy?



One of the characters from the musical "Cats" makes his WWE Debut.



Edge: You know you look like an idiot, right?



And the Lashley snare trap catches a new victim...



Some had a hard time taking the news of a new Chyna porn movie.



Bimbo-Surfing is all the rage.



Maryse: Damn it! Why does SHE always get the cleavage shot?



The referee, having been without a woman for years, cums his pants wit put a touch of a wrist.



Shelton: You know what "Arrior" means in Portugese, right?

Chavo: It's NOT true!



Chavo and Shelton take out their disgust over "The Wrestler" on one of the guys in the movie, while the referee tells a guy off camera to put his pants back on.



Shelton: Damn, he's flexible!



Scotty high fives Stevie Richards.



Vickie: We fired the guy in the last picture so we can promote THIS GUY...





Kozlov is calling out burping champion Booger.



As punishment for being more hated than Randy Orton, the WWE decides to string Edge up by his index fingers and pinkies...



Fan #1: I see two faces.

Fan #2: I see an hourglass.



Worst. 619. Ever!



The Titan Tron so busts the referee as he's checking out Jeff's ass.



The snare trap strikes again!



Matt: Jeff, this is an intervention. You NEED help.

Jeff: Leave me alone, If I want to be some sod, I should be allowed to be some sod!
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:09 PM   #16
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Jeff: Yea Edge right there,
Edge :you said harder
Jeff: Not that hard dick head
Edge: What? That's How Vickie likes it
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:14 PM   #17
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Edge: He's not even putting pressure on it we'll get caught
Ref: No it looks good. Not the move but you guys on top of each other
Jeff: Ha Ha I knew you'd like me better than Vickie
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:16 PM   #18
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Edge: That cock looks good right about now
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:21 PM   #19
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Matt: I hope our secret doesn't get out
Jeff: What secret?
Matt: i can't believe you'd forget
Jeff: Forget what?

Matt: That we're in love.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:25 PM   #20
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Maryse: Don't touch my bitch
Michelle: I didn't know you liked me that way.


Maryse: Can't wait to see Michelle's body in the shower later.
Michelle: I hate when Maryse acts like this.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:28 PM   #21
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Maryse: Wow nice cleavage. I wish Michelle had it like that. Maybe then our relationship wouldn't be as rocky.
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Old 02-21-2009, 03:22 PM   #22
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Jeff: Tap!

Edge: I had enough ref, I am gonna tap out!

A very angry Mike Chioda: Get out my face! No you ain't got no mo?'.
Don't need no has been messin' up my corner
And you better get that mad look off your face for I knock it off
Hey fool you ready for another beating
You should have never came back
Look here man after I crucify him, you next!
And you better have a good doctor to rearrange your face
I'm the Champ!


Crowd: Mikey Mikey Mikey Mikey!
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Old 02-22-2009, 03:39 AM   #23
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PA: We're all in this together!

Edge (thinking): Dammit, I wish the WWE would let me choose my own theme music.



Edge: Does anyone else think I look like Dexter Morgan? Anybody?



Jeff Hardy's appearance in "The Mighty Boosh" had a tremendous effect on his belief in his acting skills.



Edge: God damn it, Jeff! No one is believing that you are eating a sandwich while I am talking to you!

Jeff Hardy: B-b-but...I'm an actor now.



Jeff Hardy: No, seriously man, just pretend that you're carrying a box. You'd be surprised by the power of raw miming.

*Edge pretends he is carrying a box*

*Jeff hits the Twist of Fate*

Jeff Hardy: BITCH!



Edge: Holy shit, I am stoned from just being that close to Jeff. Look at my hand... *giggles and hides face* oh-ho-ho, holy shit!



The Satan gimmick was fine, but the idea of Satan wanting to fight for a pink and silver butterfly championship belt cut the gimmick's legs off.



After getting a sign from above, Jack Doan decides he wants to "smack" some ass.



Triple H's demands that the SmackDown! Divas construct a giant letter "H" with their bodies was only half-way to completion before the major loss of life came on, and the power was switched off. It still won't stop "Giant Sledgehammer Monument Week" next Friday.



Eve botches a DDT.



Maryse: Holy shit, there's actually someone I can wrestle better than!



Jack Doan: God I fucking love my job!

AND

Michelle McCool finally realises that she's not the hottest Diva on the roster.



Chavo Guerrero: Hey man, don't feel bad, I used to have my hair coloured like that when I was Kerwin White.

Shelton Benjamin: YOU WERE KERWIN WHITE?!?!

OR

Chavo Guerrero: Dude, why do your tights say "Van Dam?" *Gasp* Are you?!?!

Shelton Benjamin: Don't tell anybody!



Chavo Guerrero: The NWA Championship is not more prestigious than the ECW Championship!



R-Truth: But Ric Flair was NWA Champion, man. This isn't fair...

Mike Chiota: I know, man, I know.

Chad Patton: *under breath* Asshole.



Sgt. Slaughter: You call that a chinlock face, Shelton Snowball? Let me see your real chinlock face!!!

Shelton Benjamin: ARGH!

Sgt. Slaugher You don't scare me. Work on that.



Chavo and Shelton: NOOOOO! *diving*

The new WWE Film filmed in the SmackDown! arena, with Chavo Guerrero and Shelton Benjamin playing action heroes, and MVP's boot playing a bomb, was a horrible flop.



I've always said that the WWE's booking should more closely resemble HBO's Oz, but this was just ridiculous.

MVP: Come on, suck my dick...

Chavo Guerrero: I ain't nobody's prag!



Marty Elias: And MVP measures in at...9.3 inches! It is true what they say about black men!

MVP: YES!



Scotty Goldman: Yeah, well fuck ya's, I got these awesome tights.



Umaga looked into the giant mirror behind the SmackDown! ring, and realised that make-up didn't really pain his face like Spider-Man. He was devasted.



Umaga: Watch it. Watch it!

Scotty Goldman: I WILL NOT SEE 12 ROUNDS!

*backstage* Vince McMahon: *GASP* Fire that man!



Umaga: Super Secret Samoan Speed Roaring Tiger Kick!!! I mean punch...

Scotty Goldman: Oh, come on! How am I meant to win a match if you keep cheating like that?



Scotty Goldman: Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Alright! You can balance me by one foot on your head! I'm sorry!



Charles Robinson's new gimmick where he could telepathically feel any pain Scotty Goldman felt was obviously "nothing for him" in creative's eyes.



Scotty Goldman: Um, um, um...Congratulations -- Earthrealm is free. Shao Kahn is no more?

Umaga: Yes!



Scotty Goldman managed to put some distance between himself and Umaga by throwing a giant spider on top of the Samoan Bulldozer's head.



Umaga: God damn it! I hate squashing people! I was like you, once.



Eve took great pleasure in her new heel gimmick of walking up to people with the letter wishing them the best in their future endeavours. Enjoy it while you can, Eve -- I hear there's another Diva Search coming up...



The Secret of Vickie Guerrero's Heat Revealed

Vickie Guerrero: Everyone here should invest with Geico.

*Massive boos*



The WWE made another first, when they got a blimp to land a plane.



*moments prior backstage*

Vladimir Kozlov: I need help to get mood.

Kozlov's Manager: It's not butter.

Vladimir Kozlov: WHAT?!?!



Tazz: Wow, JR! Vladimir Kozlov wants to challenge The Undertaker at WrestleMania!

Jim Ross: Well, he's braver than Sid Vicious.



Afraid that Vladimir Kozlov's heat was not strong enough for him to be a viable challenger, creative got Kozlov to do the unthinkable...

Vladimir Kozlov: Bring back Heidenreich! *does the Heidenmarch*



Edge: Yes! I can't believe my wife lets me wear this shirt!



Jeff Hardy: I may not be able to cut a promo; but I can act! Tree!



Yeah, I've already done this one, but I just think this picture should be posted again.



Edge's new finishing move, The "Rip-Your-Heart-Out-And-Show-It-To-You-Before-You-Die-O-Matic" was exposed as staged in HD.



Mike Chiota was uneffected by Jeff Hardy's "singing lyrics from my band's songs" submission hold, because he is getting a little hard of hearing.



When asked to the bulk of the work, Jeff Hardy had a hard time carrying Edge to a good match.

*rimshot*



Jeff Hardy: *whispering* OK, now I hit you with a sleeper hold takedown.

Edge: A bit fucking late, Jeff!

[img]http://s603.photobucket.com/albums/tt117/tpwwcaps/02-15-09/SmackDown/041.

Mid-match, Mike Chiota realises that accepting those brownies from Jeff Hardy as bribery prior to the match was not a grand idea.



Edge did spend some time training with Bret Hart, but when it came to reversing the pinning predicament known as "the sunset flip," Edge found nothing worked better than farting in his opponent's face.



Hey, is that Rob Van Dam playing that cameraman in the background? And people thought that Christian's return was bad...



Big Foot decides to walk back the other way, of all places, across the stage of Friday Night SmackDown!.



Matt Hardy stopped on the way to the ring, and actually considering forfeiting the massive push he had coming, just so he wouldn't get his awesome jacket dirty.



To play up a new cowardly heel persona, Matt Hardy decided that he would look afraid of taking a back bump by closing his eyes, saying "there's no place like home" three times, and clicking his heels together -- mid-Twist of Fate.



With the skinny frame, the poorly dyed hair and all that make-up, Matt Hardy feared, for a second, that he may have killed ANOTHER prostitute.



Edge: Wait a minute...this isn't living. Show me how to live, Jeff Hardy! Show me how to live! Jeff? ...Jeff? Oh...shit.
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 02-22-2009 at 03:42 AM.
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Old 02-22-2009, 03:42 AM   #24
Mr. Nerfect
 
Posts: 61,634
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PA: We're all in this together!

Edge (thinking): Dammit, I wish the WWE would let me choose my own theme music.



Edge: Does anyone else think I look like Dexter Morgan? Anybody?



Jeff Hardy's appearance in "The Mighty Boosh" had a tremendous effect on his belief in his acting skills.



Edge: God damn it, Jeff! No one is believing that you are eating a sandwich while I am talking to you!

Jeff Hardy: B-b-but...I'm an actor now.



Jeff Hardy: No, seriously man, just pretend that you're carrying a box. You'd be surprised by the power of raw miming.

*Edge pretends he is carrying a box*

*Jeff hits the Twist of Fate*

Jeff Hardy: BITCH!



Edge: Holy shit, I am stoned from just being that close to Jeff. Look at my hand... *giggles and hides face* oh-ho-ho, holy shit!



The Satan gimmick was fine, but the idea of Satan wanting to fight for a pink and silver butterfly championship belt cut the gimmick's legs off.



After getting a sign from above, Jack Doan decides he wants to "smack" some ass.



Triple H's demands that the SmackDown! Divas construct a giant letter "H" with their bodies was only half-way to completion before the major loss of life came on, and the power was switched off. It still won't stop "Giant Sledgehammer Monument Week" next Friday.



Eve botches a DDT.



Maryse: Holy shit, there's actually someone I can wrestle better than!



Jack Doan: God I fucking love my job!

AND

Michelle McCool finally realises that she's not the hottest Diva on the roster.



Chavo Guerrero: Hey man, don't feel bad, I used to have my hair coloured like that when I was Kerwin White.

Shelton Benjamin: YOU WERE KERWIN WHITE?!?!

OR

Chavo Guerrero: Dude, why do your tights say "Van Dam?" *Gasp* Are you?!?!

Shelton Benjamin: Shoosh!!!



Chavo Guerrero: The NWA Championship is not more prestigious than the ECW Championship!



R-Truth: But Ric Flair was NWA Champion, man. This isn't fair...

Mike Chiota: I know, man, I know.

Chad Patton: *under breath* Asshole.



Sgt. Slaughter: You call that a chinlock face, Shelton Snowball? Let me see your real chinlock face!!!

Shelton Benjamin: ARGH!

Sgt. Slaughter: You don't scare me. Work on that.



Chavo and Shelton: NOOOOO! *diving*

The new WWE Film filmed in the SmackDown! arena, with Chavo Guerrero and Shelton Benjamin playing action heroes, and MVP's boot playing a bomb, was a horrible flop.



I've always said that the WWE's booking should more closely resemble HBO's Oz, but this was just ridiculous.

MVP: Come on, suck my dick...

Chavo Guerrero: I ain't nobody's prag!



Marty Elias: And MVP measures in at...9.3 inches! It is true what they say about black men!

MVP: YES!



Scotty Goldman: Yeah, well fuck ya's, I got these awesome tights.



Umaga looked into the giant mirror behind the SmackDown! ring, and realised that make-up didn't really pain his face like Spider-Man. He was devasted.



Umaga: Watch it. Watch it!

Scotty Goldman: I WILL NOT SEE 12 ROUNDS!

*backstage* Vince McMahon: *GASP* Fire that man!



Umaga: Super Secret Samoan Speed Roaring Tiger Kick!!! I mean punch...

Scotty Goldman: Oh, come on! How am I meant to win a match if you keep cheating like that?



Scotty Goldman: Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Alright! You can balance me by one foot on your head! I'm sorry!



Charles Robinson's new gimmick where he could telepathically feel any pain Scotty Goldman felt was obviously "nothing for him" in creative's eyes.



Scotty Goldman: Um, um, um...Congratulations -- Earthrealm is free. Shao Kahn is no more?

Umaga: Yes!



Umaga: God damn it! I hate squashing people! I was like you, once.



Scotty Goldman managed to put some distance between himself and Umaga by throwing a giant spider on top of the Samoan Bulldozer's head.



Eve took great pleasure in her new heel gimmick of walking up to people with the letter wishing them the best in their future endeavours. Enjoy it while you can, Eve -- I hear there's another Diva Search coming up...



The Secret of Vickie Guerrero's Heat Revealed

Vickie Guerrero: Everyone here should invest with Geico.

*Massive boos*



The WWE made another first, when they got a blimp to land a plane.



*moments prior backstage*

Vladimir Kozlov: I need help to get mood.

Kozlov's Manager: It's not actually butter.

Vladimir Kozlov: WHAT?!?!



Tazz: Wow, JR! Vladimir Kozlov wants to challenge The Undertaker at WrestleMania!

Jim Ross: Well, he's braver than Sid Vicious.



Afraid that Vladimir Kozlov's heat was not strong enough for him to be a viable challenger to The Undertaker, creative got Kozlov to do the unthinkable...

Vladimir Kozlov: Bring back Heidenreich! *does the Heidenmarch*



Edge: Yes! I can't believe my wife lets me wear this shirt!



Jeff Hardy: I may not be able to cut a promo; but I can now act! Tree!



Yeah, I've already done this one, but I just think this picture should be posted again.



Edge's new finishing move, The "Rip-Your-Heart-Out-And-Show-It-To-You-Before-You-Die-O-Matic" was exposed as terribly staged in HD.



Mike Chiota was uneffected by Jeff Hardy's "singing lyrics from my band's songs" submission hold, because he is getting a little hard of hearing.



When asked to the bulk of the work, Jeff Hardy had a hard time carrying Edge to a good match. *rimshot*



Jeff Hardy: *whispering* OK, now I hit you with a sleeper hold takedown.

Edge: A bit fucking late, Jeff!



Mid-match, Mike Chiota realises that accepting those brownies from Jeff Hardy as bribery prior to the match was not a grand idea.



Edge did spend some time training with Bret Hart, but when it came to reversing the pinning predicament known as "the sunset flip," Edge found nothing worked better than farting in his opponent's face.



Hey, is that Rob Van Dam playing that cameraman in the background? And people thought that Christian's return was bad...



Big Foot decides to walk back the other way, of all places, across the stage of Friday Night SmackDown!.



Matt Hardy stopped on the way to the ring, and actually considering forfeiting the massive push he had coming, just so he wouldn't get his awesome jacket dirty.



To play up a new cowardly heel persona, Matt Hardy decided that he would look afraid of taking a back bump by closing his eyes, saying "there's no place like home" three times, and clicking his heels together -- mid-Twist of Fate.



With the skinny frame, the poorly dyed hair and all that make-up, Matt Hardy feared, for a second, that he may have killed ANOTHER prostitute.



Edge: Wait a minute...this isn't living. Show me how to live, Jeff Hardy! Show me how to live! Jeff? ...Jeff? Oh...shit.
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 02-22-2009 at 03:49 AM.
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Old 02-22-2009, 02:49 PM   #25
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Lita makes her return.



Lita flaps her arms like a bird.



Lita wants her money back.
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