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03-30-2004, 04:07 PM
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#1 |
Posts: 18,357
  
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RAW Captions [3-30-2004]
 OMG, that has to be the funniest picture EVER! They've had some awesome ones lately!                            
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03-30-2004, 04:08 PM
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#2 |
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Posts: 18,357
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And that Christian pic his hilarious... damn, this is an awesome set!
I'll be back later. |
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03-30-2004, 04:11 PM
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#3 |
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Banned WWE on 1/1/07
Posts: 2,141
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Trust me, man...roids will make it this little! Ref: Nah Nah! Bruce Banner (Kane): Trust me, you don't want to make me.....ANGRY!!! Shelton: Dude! Seriously, if I don't find my contact lens my mom's gonna kill me. HHH: Aw geez....if you get grounded I won't get to stay over this weekend! Batista: What do you mean there's a UFO behind me? Nitro: Like I'm gonna fall for that one again! Christian: "Aw yeah! Keep diggin, girl. Don't mind that loose change. I'm sure you'll find something more interesting in there than that! "Hunter...we just checked our numbers, and it turns out that the internet fans DON'T like you after all." or "Hunter, I hate to tell you this, but your wife.....she's kinda a slut." or Ref: "Hunter, I have some bad news about why we wanted you to job to shelton... HHH: Well come on! Don't beat around the bush! Ref: *chuckles* Uh...it's kinda funny you should mention that when we're in a conversation about you, Shelton, and Steph... HHH: I didn't say anything about Steph....OH GOD! or (best one of all) Keeping with the "THere's something about Mary" theme of the new WWE, HHH demonstrates what an ideal character should be like by zipping his balls up in his pants zipper. Shelton: Steph told me about your "little" problem...heh heh heh JR: Tonight we have a special guest in attendance: The wisdom cube from Aqua Teen Hunger Force." Voice in the Croud: "KEEP HONKING, I'M STILL LOADING MY GUN!!!" Austin: "...and that's when she started givin me some lip" Shelton: "Dude, I figured you wouldn't smell like booze until after you went out to the ring..." Austin: "...so I says 'womin...you just broke the law!'" Shawn: Ok...DUDE! Only GOD can touch me like that! Kane soon realized that he had drank an entire bucket of his own barf for nothing...the bit had been done before. Shawn: Keep away! Keep away! Benoit: Dude, in order to play keep away, you have to have more than one person....and the object of it is to actually keep the title away from me, not hand it to me! Benoit: "The ex-boyfriend off of "Meet the Parents"" Nitro: "...I still won't let you win!" Benoit: "There's gotta be some Ben Stiller movie character I can base myself off of to make it around here!" Shawn: "Dude! Zoolander! Zoolander!" THe match really went to hell when the swarm of bees attacked Nidia. Last edited by tucsonspeed6; 03-30-2004 at 04:56 PM. |
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03-30-2004, 04:17 PM
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#4 |
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The Classic Dylan Staples
Posts: 51,455
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Tajiri does his "Triple H Getting Drafted to Smackdown" impression, while Coach does his "Batista Watching Triple H Get Drafted to Smackdown" impression. Shawn: Flair! Don't let the aliens take you! Flair: Noooooooo! Nitro: No! HE's a homo! Kane: Holy crap! This sour apple Evolution Kool-Aid really does work! Eh....these suck. I'll do more later. Last edited by OssMan; 03-30-2004 at 09:42 PM. |
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03-30-2004, 04:36 PM
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#5 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Even hunter can't believe its not butter. The game changes his intials to KKK. I remember this hair from smack down.....*flash back*  Nidia: Molly! you stole a-trains hair! Molly: 
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03-30-2004, 04:37 PM
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#6 | |
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Von Killer
Posts: 4,471
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Quote:
 These two write themselves |
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03-30-2004, 04:48 PM
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#7 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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It was close but ever since Andre died a white man never won the lenth contest. Shelt: mines still bigger No seriously big shows is only this big. Shelton shows the average height of a china man. |
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03-30-2004, 04:52 PM
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#8 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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First captions...
As Coach puts on a scene from his school play, Tajiri thought it sucked, so he spat on him. Ref: **Stares at Nidia's breasts** Nidia: What the hell are you looking at? Ref: Theres a... uh... spot on your shirt... Im trying to burn it off w/ my heat ray vision... Nidia: Pervert... Eww! Eww! Get it off! Worst Elvis Lip ever... Triple H went too far, now he was stealing the spot light of other people's ENTRANCES! Trips: **Sniff** Do you smell that? Shelton: **Cough cough** Yeah, WTF is that!? Sitting on the toilet whistling while wrestling a match... All this and much more on 60 Minuites! Vince was starting to get cheap with the Pyros... HBK had to throw the sparkles in the air now... Lillian: You stole the cookies from the cookie jar! Johnny: Wasnt me! HBK and Chris: THEN WHO!? Worst Sharpshooter ever... HBK was SO pissed with Ric's boot color that he threw him accross the ring, and proceeded to spray paint them pink with little bunnies. HBK: Uh, here... Chris: Why are you standing like that? Whats wrong with me!? HBK: Uh, well, if you can kill Ric with your breath, I wouldnt be too hard... Johnny just couldnt believe it... Shawn chose Chris over him! Dave: I won it! Johnny: No, I won it! Lillian: Well, who won the burping contest... You or you? Both: ME! Rabblerabblerabble Chris: You okay!? HBK: AHH! YOU KILLED AGIAN! AHHH! **Runs** Shawn: Point to your kn... sky! Shelton: Im proud to be American, AND Im gonna beat Trips tonight! Can tonight get any better?! Austin: Heh, I wouldnt look behind you... (Moments later Triple H comes in from behind and cripples Shelton) Trish: Cheeeeeese! Trish: CHEESE DAMN IT! TAKE THE DAMN PICTURE! Christian: There there, we'll get Chris for running over Foofoo... Trish (Crying and getting her breath): Then... Can.. You... Get... Me... A... New... One?! Christian: 'Course! Kissy time! Kane didnt believe Tajiri when he said that Kane could puke on himself... Now he was a believer... Man, Hacksaw Jim Duggan shrunk! Kane was pissed at Tajiri... Now he had to take a SECOND show this month! Trips: Im telling you... She stuffs her bras and she's really THIIIISS small! Shelton: This small? HAHAHAHA! Trips: I didnt say it was funny  Trips: Dude, Mike... Im seeing WWE logos on your hand agian... Mike: You've been with RVD agian, havent you... The crab claw growing out of Shelton's arm didnt phase him... He had beaten Triple H, and now he's going to Disney Land! Besides, with that crab claw, he could get to the front of the lines by saying hes crippled! Trips: EWWWW! THATS WHAT THE TAPE LOOKS LIKE!? EWWWW! |
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03-30-2004, 04:55 PM
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#9 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Coach paid dearly for making fun of Shang Tsung's new haircut. No one escped from... THE ARMPIT TICKLER!!! Nidia was understandably freaked out when It Jr. flew out and attacked her. And when It Jr. pounced on Molly... well... lets just say things got a little ugly. The devil that he was, HHH waited until Hurricane was busy engaged in battle with Steven Richards before he made his surprise ambush. Lice inspector Triple H could be a bit violent at times. *Rhyno enters the ring* Rhyno: "All right, another match on TV!" *DING DING DING!* Rhyno: "Hey! My opponent's Lance! This should be fast." *DING DING DING!* Announcer: "And the winner of the match, RHYNO!!!" Rhyno: "Wow, that was fast." Shawn: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have had that chili Bret sent me." Yeah, Johnny Ace/Blaze/Spade wanted to be slick an all, but this was no time to be trying to convince the ladies about your penis size. There was a reason Shawn and Ric never played Twister with each other... Knowing Flair never got over the top rope, Benoit was nice enough to help him out. As Michael's handed Benoit the tag title, he used a deft maneuver of the Force to steal Benoit's World Heavyweight Title. Master Helmsley would have his precious back. Joke was on Michaels, though, as Benoit hugged him and taped a sign that said: "Ha ha, Hunter, this one's made of chocolate." Johnny: "Dude!" Batista: "Dude!" Johnny: "Dude!" Batista: "Dude!" Johnny: "Rockin' on the air guitar dude!" Batista: "Yeah, dude, we are like... totally the man! Or the men! Dude!" Johnny: "Dude!" Batista: "Dude!" Flair (behind them): "Um... guys? Match?" Benoit: "You stupid excuse for a Hebner! You're supposed to ring the bell whenever someone's locked in a submission move!" Michaels: "Yeah! Now get that straight before you screw it up when I put Benoit in the Crossface at Backlash!" Benoit: "Yeah! Wait, what?" RAW was momentarily interrupted by two exhibitionists who put Lance Storm to shame. Austin: "Heheh.. and then she said, 'No! I'm not your bitch!' and I said 'Shut up, bitch!' and she's like 'It's over!' and I'm like 'You're breaking my law, bitch!' and she's like 'This isn't wrestling, you moron!' so I stunned her and drank six bears, and when she got up, I stunned her again!' Heheheheh..." Benjamin: "Um, Steve, you're still drunk aren't you?" Austin: "...and then the cops decided to stop by for some reason..." You couldn't see in this picture, but Trish has a midget under her podium. I got nothing. Christian was busy tenderly consoling Trish until he stepped back and realized he'd been holding Dustin Runnels, sans gold paint, all this time. OR Poor midcarders... even in their dreams they get buried. Apparently having not learned Coach's lesson, Kane paid the price when he teased Shang Tsung about his new crop as well. Introducing Coppertone's NEW Midcard Hell Strength Suntan Lotion! For when you need protection against the EXTREME burn! Kane was just as shocked as everyone else. An overflow of recent jobbing had reduced Triple H into Hunter HOBO Helmsley! Hulk... getting... angry... Triple H: "Tiny wang! Tiny wang!" Shelton: "Actually, I shared some company with Steph earlier today, and revealed that it is YOU who has the tiny wang!" Triple H: 'Hm.... I'm under attack and actually selling some midcarder's move...' Triple H: 'Wait a moment, one of my matches just ended, and my OPPONENT is celebrating???' Triple H: 'OH SHIT! THAT'S WHY! I FORGOT TO DRINK MY EVOLUTION KOOL-AID THIS MORNING!!!' |
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03-30-2004, 04:55 PM
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#10 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Hunter! stay in the back there's a hurricane coming through. |
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03-30-2004, 05:00 PM
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#11 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Worst. Exorcist. Remake. Ever. Check it out, Cousin It got a hair cut! or Worst. Meng impression. Ever. When rummaging through the Box of Lost Souls, Nidia was expecting a Sean O'Haire soul, but instead pulled the soul of the collective hair lost by Canadians through the recent years. Wait..Steph's on RAW now?! Dammit. Hurricane: Hurrisenses..tingling!...someone isn't staying in the back like my music is telling them to d...*gets clobbered by Triple H* Hunter: See these wires? See that jeep? Guess what bitch?! Shelton: ...I thought you were Triple H...not Triple K... Using the Orton Telepathetic Mind Reader™, we can now see what's going through Rhyno's mind this moment! Let's tune in: Rhyno: Okay...Goldberg's gone...right? Right. Which means they need another guy who can do a spear. And I have the gore. Which is soooo much more cool looking. Right, right? Yeah..yeah that's right. This means I may get a push to the mid-cards! I could get a win! YESSSS! Thank you Goldberg for leaving, now I'M the ONLY one with a spear-like move! Yes, oh happy da...wait...Edge's back...Shit, no DAMMIT SON OF A BITCH! Someone's been watching DragonBall Z. Johnny Oxide...Citrus...whatever, couldn't help but get a squeeze out of Steven Richards. Earl (In audience): Shawn, SHAWN!! Flair isn't Canadian, don't do his move! Flair hated the WWE's annual prostate check-ups. The first and last time you'll see Shawn handing a Canadian a title belt. Be grateful. Johnny: Oh shit..I left the stove on... Johnny: No, HE'S a homo! Dave: YEAH! I'M A HOM...wait... Benoit: Did you, or did you NOT steal Molly's wig? Johnny: ... Shawn: ANSWER HIM! Chris: I feel like a ref... Shawn: Oh yeah, I know...just keep it going... The WWE segregation continued, by keeping the Blacks and Women Beaters in their own locker-room. OR Austin: Heh, I like your hair-cut. Trish: And then...they booked ME in a title shot! Jericho: I'm sorry it had to come to this.. Trish: What?! Jericho: Stunner, but that's not important right now. Remember that trick I showed you that Hunter showed me? Trish: Yeah, why? Jericho: Well..*moves hand around* Voila, bitch! Trish didn't take to kindly to the de-push. Christian: I didn't know you were ambidextrous.... They weren't kidding when they said smoking causes bad breath.. Once Kane found out his make-up was bleeding, all bloody (green) hell broke lose. Kane was shocked as anyone; how the hell did Triple H lose that much weight that fast?! Kane: HULK MAD! Rare video photo of Hunter's descriptive pantomine he gave to Steph. Shelton: That's it? Are you kidding me?! You're that big?! Hahaha, I was bigger than that before I left the whom! I knew it! I was right! Hunter's racist! White cross on a black background! Booya, I called it! Chris and Shelton: PANAMA! Hunter: ..........UH-OH! |
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03-30-2004, 05:01 PM
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#12 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Holy shit! Our anniversary was yesterday!!!" |
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03-30-2004, 05:05 PM
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#13 |
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Posts: 18,357
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It was bad enough he'd been beaten by a cowboy, but being pooped on by his horse was the last straw. |
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03-30-2004, 05:07 PM
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#14 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Since Kane was a failed gimmick, Glenn Jacobs was happy to become The Missing Link 2004 |
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03-30-2004, 05:09 PM
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#15 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Heheheheh... Come with me, Shelton. There's this tree I want you to meet..." |
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03-30-2004, 05:14 PM
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#16 |
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Posts: 399
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Although Tajiri was pretty convincing, he was denied the oppurtunity to play the little girl in the re-make of The Exorcist. Nidia: I know biting is an illegal move, but swallowing an arm is acceptable??!!! Nidia falls victim to the classic April fools joke, someone put Nair in her shampoo After years of hiding it Molly finally revealed she was, in fact, Sinaed O'Connor. HHH: Oh quit crying, that Prostate Exam wasn't THAT bad.... In a stunning move the WWE decided it was time for Rhyno to change his gimmick. After talking with Austin, they agreed maybe they could recapture some fans with a Wyno gimmick. (Yes I know it's spelled Wineo but it's all I could think of) The crowd was stunned as HBK finally proved that he was god!! Commanding everyone to walk towards the light. Meh that one is lame. Johnny: Yeah that's me, the Tough Enough champion from the second season. HBK & Benoit: What's Tough Enough? HBK: You put your right foot, you put your right foot out..... Benoit: Damnit Shawn! The WWE was asking their superstars to go a little too far with the whole gay pride angles.... Benoit: WHAT??!! Triple H gave you a prostal exam too??!! HBK: It's really not that bad. If Benoit was ever going to go over HHH again, he would for sure have to learn the YMCA dance Shelton: Why yes, that is Brute. Austin: You Shouldn't have. HHH: You are exactly this far from the glass ceiling. This is my first attempt at captions, sorry if they suck
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03-30-2004, 05:40 PM
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#17 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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COACH: ...and then Mae came. TAJIRI: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf! Wow! Nidia's getting REALLY good at her Stephanie impression. First the chest, now the sprea--oh, sorry. NIDIA: Okay! I cleaned out A-Train's shower drain. What do you need me to do now? That's not Molly. THAT'S A MAN, BABY! HHH: Oh, shit! There's an "H" on the 'Tron! I missed my cue! HHH: And THAT's for saying the athletic tape roll was too wide! SHELTON: Okay. *Gasp* It fit perfectly... RHYNO: Love you, too, Stevie. No one must ever know... AVALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCHE! LILIAN: Does anyone know where my panties are? Where will YOU be when a senior citizen kicks your ass so hard it pops through your crotch? SHAWN: Hey, did you hear that Rhyno's on RAW now? RIC: Yeah, why do you a--oh. HBK: Ha ha! Now I'M the champion! GOD: Give it back! HBK: Yessir. JOHNNY: I forgot to tape "The Inferno" tonight. LILIAN: What did you guys think of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?" BOTH: Thumbs up! And here we see a full-grown zebra taken down mid-stride by the vicious wolverine. HBK: Rhyno? CHRIS: Yeah... STEVE: You wouldn't happen to know where the Divas' locker room is, would you? SHELTON: Down the hall to the left. Why? STEVE: No reason. *Cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a minute. Good to see Trish earned her Oxstar Seal of Approval. Tonight's edition of RAW is brought to you by Herbal Essences. Yes. Yes! YES! TRISH: I wuv you, Papa Smurf... CHRISTIAN: Um...yeah. KANE: ...and he kept yelling "Who's your coach?! Who's your coach?!" TAJIRI: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf! KANE: Note to self, Chia is NOT edible. KANE: Jellooooo Pudding! EDGE: That's great!Is it in you? HHH (falsetto): Hi. Ah'm Mister Fingy! REF: Oh, God. All the jobbing is finally getting to him. HHH (falsetto): Wanna be mah friend? SHELTON: Watch out for...The Claw! HHH: AHHHHHHHHHH! Helphelphelphelphelp! REF: Knock it off, Shel. SHELTON: Hey, Hunter, I forgot to mention that your Kool-Aid delivery accidentally wound up at my locker room. I had a little. Hope you don't mind. HHH: Ohhhhhh... That bastard Sauron always picked the most inopportune time to do a run-in. HHH: My parents are in Florida...and I'm in New York! |
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03-30-2004, 05:45 PM
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#18 |
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Posts: 18,357
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LMAO! Great stuff, Loopy, and you made the deadline with plenty to spare!
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03-30-2004, 05:45 PM
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#19 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Oh yeah, that also means get your captions in by tomorrow night or you won't be considered for CotM.
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03-30-2004, 05:55 PM
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#20 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Tajiri, well schooled as a heel, sucked Coachmen's life force from his body. Later, Tajiri drains Kane of his life force aswell. It is clear, that HHH's favore Kids in the Hall scetch is the "I'm crushing your head!" scetch. Shelton agrees I don't care if Cousin It (Addam's Family) is the father, that is no way to hold a baby. Even HHH was mortified with how Nidia held Cousin It's baby, and this guy did the necrophilia bit. HBK (thinking): haha, now I just need to plant Beniot's wallet in Eddie's duffle bag! |
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03-30-2004, 05:58 PM
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#21 |
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Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Posts: 5,705
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First Captions (Hope some of them turn out good)
Tajiri's reaction after Coach told him Triple H was gonna lose tonight. Molly: You sure shave your armpits good. Ref: Thats not the only thing. After noticing what happened, Nidia had to try to think up a way to convince the ref she didnt pull Molly's hair. Molly was so pissed after the match that she pulled her own hair out. HHH heroically pushed the hurricane out of the way before the Hurricane symbol could attack him from behind. HHH: Say it like you got a pair! Benjamin: One....Two....Three.... Rhyno looks at Storm and for a breif second thinks that he is still in ECW. By Gods Light...I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lillian: Johnny Nitro??? Eric Must be Proud Nitro: Well you know. Congratulations HBK....Its a Flair. HBK: Get down child..Thats to dangerous. HBK: Bang Bang...Your Dead HBK: I love you man!!! Beniot: Too Bad its my title. Batista: Eric loves me more!!! Nitro: No...Eric Loves me more!!! Lillian: Fags After attacking the Ref, HBK and Benot reallize that it wasnt Nitro yea Molly in a ref constume. Beniot: Ladies and Gentlemen, the person who will lose at Backlash...HBK HBK: YEAAAA....wait..what? Benjamin looks at Austin and wonders who really stole the others hair cut here. Trish: Oh my god....its a boogey? Late Breaking News: Trish Stratus tragically died monday night after slipping over the Highlight Reel Logo that was conveniently placed on the walkway. Jericho says he didnt do it but is still being held for questioning. Trish: Why does it have to be so small. Christian: Oh my god!!! A girl touched me there. Tajiri's reaction to when Kane told him he would win. Kane Looking at mirror in his hand) Hulk has nothing on me. Resident Evil: The Wrestling Game Urge to kill rising...rising...rising... Before Viagra Benjamin: After Viagra HHH: Oh you son of a..... HHH: Its a message. Benjamin: What does it say. Ref: Let Benjamin go over and the Title is yours at backlash signed Vince JR: Congrats go out to Benjamin on his win tonig....whats this...we have just gotten news that next weeks main event will be all the members of Evoltution vs Banjamin. HHH: Oh my God!!! Its happening again. IM LOSING!!!!!!! I hope these were ok. There were my first time of actually doing all of them. |
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03-30-2004, 06:00 PM
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#22 | |
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Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Posts: 5,705
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Quote:
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03-30-2004, 06:01 PM
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#23 |
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Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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Coach wasn't pleased with RAW's new water fountain. Molly: "Alright Nidia what would you like?" Nidia: "I want a skull." Molly: "Well I can draw Kermit the Frog. Would you like a Kermit the Frog?" Nidia: "No I want a skull." Molly: "Well I'm going to go ahead and draw Kermit and Frog." Nidia was pretty nervous to wrestle Cousin It. Even Molly couldn't tame the beast in Cousin It. Triple H: "Oh man, what happened?" Shelton: "Someone hit the joint before we got there." Triple H: "Who did this to you man, WHO?!!" Shelton: "It was a man...with a big green mask." Triple H: "He's dead meat." After the backstage assault: Hurricane: "This will be remembered as the day that you ALMOST captured The Hurri...OH SHIT!" Rhyno started thinking about what he would have to do with the upper management to get a real push, and the look on his face showed his enthusiasm. The debut of Jubilee on RAW was a huge success. Johnny: "C'mon Lillian, can't we just go out once like old times?" Lillian: "Don't start with me Florence!" Benoit: "FLORENCE?! Hahahahahahahahaha" HBK: "Oh man Johnny Nitro's real name is Florence?! Hahahahahaha" Johnny: "Hey shut up...you all shut up!!" The fans thought it was sweet of Shawn Michaels to help an old man cross the ring. Ric: Shawn look, a chick with huge knockers in the third row is flashing us!" HBK: "Oh yeah that's nice...hey Johnny why are you looking at me? Look at her!" HBK: "I can't believe we won Chris!" Benoit: "Yeah neither can I, now can you take your hand off my belt." HBK: " I...I can't, my hand seems to be stuck." Benoit: "Oh great, someone put super glue on the Tag Team titles." Ric: "Hehehe!" Shawn and Chris got used to being stuck together pretty quickly. Batista: "ME MONSTER IN BED!" Johnny: "Oh he's the man in the bedroom, take it from me." Benoit: "Everybody I told about the file is dead." The beer bottle was looking to get a main event push against HBK and Benoit. Austin: "...and then I pushed her down the stairs." Chris's face showed his happiness when Trish told him she has a penis. Trish was so pissed off at Chris that she walked out on him for the Highlight Reel icon. Christian: "Don't worry Trish, Chris won't hurt you ever again, just don't play Candyland with him." The faulty water fountain strikes again. Kane: "OH...MY...GOD like my mascara is running." Mr. Clean wasn't prepared for his shoot. Triple H: "My cock size is this many...WTFFFFFFFFFFF decimal misplacement chief!" Shelton: "This is how tight my wife's vagina is. What about your's Hunter?" Once word ot out about Shelton's win over Triple H, Vince gave the command for the flamethrower. Triple H just found out he's scheduled for another long-term feud with Scott Steiner. |
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03-30-2004, 06:06 PM
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#24 | |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Quote:
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03-30-2004, 07:15 PM
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#25 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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There have been many superhero's in the past that are female, such as "Spider Lady", "Cat Woman" "Edward Scissorhands" and the all new "Nidia Hairforhands" OR Nidia didn't realize how much trouble she got into, first she stole JR's hat, made it dissapear into thin air, and now she messes up in the "Making the rabbit dissapear" in the hat trick, accidently turning the rabbit and the hat into female version of "HEAD" Sporty Spice is really looking good these days, I smell a Spice Girls reunion! Triple H: I told you Ken, this is not Barbie World, now go back to the board game. This is RAW, you can't brush Barbie's hair, brush her teeth, do her nails or paint her feet anymore, your days of being plastic are over! After being Johnny Blaze, Johnny Spade, Johnny Nitro, Billy Club and Billy Goat, poor old Johnny couldent find a name, and decided to rename himself 10 Second Tom! Shawn Micheals: OK Flair, lets see you get out of THIS! Ric Flair: Oh no, YOU STOLE MY MOVE! Shawn Micheals: HEY LOOK! A DUCK MOUTHED PLATAPUSS! Ric Flair: ...what? Shawn Micheals: ITS COMIN RIGHT FOR US! WWE took the "Green Lantern" gimmick a bit too far. Triple H: Hey Shelton, have you ever played Pac-Man? He's the little Yellow guy who runs around in a maze and eats dots! This is my impression of him *Hand motion* Wah-Womp Wah-Womp Wah-Womp! Wah-Womp! Rumor has it that the ghosts have been running around in the back! He was right! Binky the Blue Ghost as Trish! OH NOOOOO! OH NO THE GREEN GHOST! Shelton: I see you!! |
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03-30-2004, 07:25 PM
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#26 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Tajiri: (8)...Rook over your shourder, ready to run, rike a good rittle bitch from a smoking gun! I am da game, and I make da rures...(8) OR Tajiri: Rut did da two rips say to da face? Coach: ? Tajiri: (SPIT) SRAP, I'm Rick James beetch. Molly: So, who did you sleep with last night? Nidia: I don't kiss and tell! Molly: Well, do you fuck and tell? Nidia: I'm not telling you! Molly: Come on, it's okay... We all know you slept with Tajiri last night. I see that green all over your chest... Nidia: (Crying) It's true, it was so embarassing! When I told him to unload on my breasts, this isn't what I had in mind! Nidia: So Molly... Do the curtains match the drapes? Molly: Nope. (tosses her a bush) Nidia:  Hey Molly, A-Train called, and he wants his birthmark back. Hurricane: I was flyin' around, last night! And I saw, the most, evil villain... So, I flew, into action. And then... He... It was... Terrible. Hurricane: He just opened his mouth, and gobbled me up, like I was the Hamburglar. Hurricane: Hah, I can fly! Triple H's double-jobbing has broken his gravitational pull! HHH: (running through the arena) POWERS... DON'T... WORK... MUST... MANUALLY... HOLD... EVERYONE... DOWN... Triple H reveals that all along, he has been absorbing everyone's talent by touch like Rogue from X-Men! Well, maybe not everyone. Even Trips knew when to leave it alone. (8)Oh..! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhh! I think I'm cute, I know I'm sexy... I got the looks...(8) Introducing first, from San Antonio Texas, weighing in at two hundred, thirty pounds, The Heart Break Kid, Shawwwwwwwwwwwwwn, Michaellllllllllllllllllls! (8)Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Suuuuuuuuper Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...(8) And his tag-team partner, from The Pearly Gates, weighing in at nine trillion, eight hundred, fourty-nine billion, seven hundred, ninety-six million, five hundred, thirty-nine thousand, and one pound, The Allllllllllllllllllmightyyyyyyyyy, Godddddddddddddddddd! Lillian: And the laaaaaaaaaaaaand, of theeeeeeeeeeee, freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (All at the same time) Benoit: Thank you Lillian... That was inspiring, I mean ever since I was a little boy in Atlanta Georgia... Michaels: Benoit, put your hand down, you're a Canadian... Spade: Will you sing the Elmo song for me? When Michaels told Ric Flair that his penis was a foot long, Flair didn't believe him. So Michaels grabbed a foot and measured. JR: Well now Flair is going upstairs! King, this has never worked! King: Wait a minute... It's working JR! JR: BAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY PERFORMING FELLATIO ON THE NATURE BOY! BBQ SAUCE UNPRETTIER PETER NORTH STUNNER! Michaels: Oh suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, they just give the bellllllllllt to youuuuuuuuuuu Benoit. Here, take the tag-team strap too. Why don't you just wear all the damn belts? Benoit: Well Shawn, why don't you keep one, since you were the one that pinned Flair? Michaels: !? HUH!? Benoit: ...? Dude? You won the match... Heh... You're the one that got us these titles. Michaels: Wow, you're the greatest Benoit! Trips never let me have a belt even when I did pin him clean! Looking to his mentor Triple H for advice, Batista, as well as Spade, were both equally shocked that he had gotten a sex change. Batista: Hunter, why!? WHY!? Hunter: (Shrug) Some of the divas are getting bigger boobs than me, so it's time to hold them down. Michaels: I gotta hand it to you Benoit, knocking out the ref when I hooked you in that Sharpshooter was pretty smart, I've gotta get some new material. And now, we take another look into the minds of Benoit and Michaels, with our extra sensory perceptive machine. Benoit: (Wow... The WWE champ... Getting a big rub by Michaels. These are the happiest days of my life.) Michaels: (Days? You got that right... 16 days to be exact.) Benoit: (...) Shelton: So the internet buzz from the TPWW poster eminem is that I am the next Rock. What do you think Steve? Do you smell what the Benjamin is cookin'? Steve: Jericho was pissed when the dentist gave Trish a sticker for clean teeth and not him, which prompted Jericho to hide his problem. Trish was pissed when Jericho revealed her and my own little secret. She was a Bottom-feeder. That's right, a Rock Bottom feeder. That pooty is mine. Whenever skanks like Trish got upset, Christian always knew how to calm them down and get them to sleep with a lull. Christian: (8)Rockin' you baaaaaaaaaby, in the hot tub... When I get blown, my strudle will throb...(8) The ref found Tajiri and Kane's strange romance to be disgusting at the very least. Kane: LET'S ROCK. JR: BAH GAWD, KANE HAS TURNED INTO THE INCREDIBLE HULK! King: Wow! With Rey turning into the Flash, and Kane turning into the Hulk, the next thing you know JR, you'll turn into the Blob! JR: Well Kane may be the Hulk, but he is no match for Hold-Down Man! King: Er, that's Edge, not Trips... JR: Look closely King. That's Triple H's face on Edge's body. King: Wow, you're right JR. What the hell? JR: Well, I imagine that's why he pushed to feud with Edge so bad. Apparently he plans to shapeshift into Edge and job to himself. King: What a genius! Kane: Why am I green? Alright, alright, I'll tell you why I'm green. I was walking along, minding my own business, when this little Japenese guy comes up to me. He looks at my package and bows. I'm like WTF? So then he takes me to a meeting room, with all his buddies. Well, it turns out they wanted to offer me a million dollars for my penis pills. I refused. The next thing I know, his friend says something in Japenese... I think it was, "He is a firm negotiator." So he just spit this shit all over my face! ------------ (Alright, for the next one, I am gonna avoid the small penis jokes because I know everyone is gonna do em...) ------------ Triple H just couldn't help giving Steven Richards a nipple-twist for good luck. Shelton: Ohhhhhhhh! So Steven Richards is right here? And it gives you good luck? Sweet! Richards: OW, get your finger out of my ass! Triple H: You dumbass. The ref, aroused by the sight of two men in their underwear wrestling each other, couldn't resist the urge to hit his hands and knees and bark like a dog. Benjamin: I won! It's all about the Benjamins! Chris Benoit: Shelton? Benjamin: Yeah? Chris Benoit: If you wanna get anywhere in this company, you have to stop hanging around Goldust. Trust me. Evolution: And to show our appreciation for everything you've done... Triple H, this, is your life! (Video plays) Triple H: Who's your daddy... Who's your daddy... Steph: Vince McMahon is... Are you in yet? Triple H: I think I'm gonna... Ohmygod... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH. Orton: *$&^%&^$&^&#^$ WRONG VIDEO FLAIR, YOU MORON! |
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03-30-2004, 07:43 PM
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#27 |
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Posts: 73
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Stills from the final scene from the upcoming Manhole Productions release "The Hulk Goes To Fire Island". Next up from Manhole Productions will be "Shower Room Initiations" starring Bradshaw and Spanky. |
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03-30-2004, 07:57 PM
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#28 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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ROFL @ everyone's Steve Austin woman-beating captions. That's soooooooo wrong. I intentionally didn't do those too, now I wish I did.
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03-30-2004, 07:59 PM
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#29 |
Posts: 1,008
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Kane: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! *Edge runs to Kane's aid* Edge: What happened?!?!?!? Kane: He slimed me... Last edited by CBright7831; 03-30-2004 at 08:15 PM. |
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03-30-2004, 08:02 PM
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#30 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Austin: And then I was like, "No, sorry sir, no problem here." Shelton: And what did Molly do then? Austin: Well, as soon she put her wig back on and I figured it out, I knew it was time to move in for the kill. There, I did one. EDIT: I fucked up my own punchline. Edited to make sense now. Last edited by Rock Bottom; 03-31-2004 at 05:27 AM. |
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03-30-2004, 08:05 PM
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#31 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Kane after he didn't know on You Can't Do That On Television OMG!! I just had a nightmare that I was being buried. Christian was shocked when Trish burst out of his stomach Last edited by Blue Demon; 03-31-2004 at 10:50 AM. |
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03-30-2004, 08:20 PM
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#32 |
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#1 Senior Elite Member
Posts: 7,886
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Like Austin Powers said, "This isn't my bag baby", but I'm going to give it a go. Maybe I hit it lucky and get on that "Best Captions of the Year" thread.
Tajiri unleashed his new move on the Coach. The "Gingivitis Ki Blast". Nitro: How you do'in?  Shawn: I don't beleive it. We finally won the titles Marty! Benoit: You're not even trying anymore. Shawn: Just joking there Jericho. Benoit: Again...wrong Chris! Shawn: Nowinski? Benoit: Keep trying. Shawn: Chetti? Benoit: He doesn't even work for this company. Shelton: Well the offer's nice Austin, but I've heard what you do to your girlfriends. Trish: Shit, damn, ass, fuck, bastard, bitch, badd ass heel, fuck, shit, damn! And here we see a hugh between the CLB...and Christian. Tajiri attempts the Gingivitis Ki Blast against Kane... ...but it shows very little effect. Kane: Fool! Your Gingivitis Ki Blast is no match for my dentistry powers. Now you shall pay. Someone: Quick...get into positions. Triple H is coming. Triple H: This is how long your push is going to last. Shelton: Oh yea, well Vince said my push was going to last this long...  ...DAMN IT! *Shelton reaches behind HHH head.* Shelton: Hey...what's this. HHH: No, no, no... Shelton: I actually won! Wow, this amulet must have been the source of HHH's powers! Within seconds after losing his amulet, HHH get's a divorce from his wife, his back turned on by anyone with WWE power, de-pushed, and jobbed off to Lance Storm...and all before the copywrites pop up. |
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03-30-2004, 08:50 PM
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#33 |
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The Dark Messenger
Posts: 251
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The always deadly and gross Osaka flu hits the RAW locker room with disgusting results. or Tajiri just didn't have the stomach to make it through that best of Mae Young video: Mae gone wild uncensored edition ::Nidia Thinking:: Wow, This is what I worked so hard for these last few years. My mom, my dad, my Fiancée, there all watching me, I'm so happy I could make them proud, Its like a dream come true. ::Ref Thinking:: Look at them titties, my goodness! The female wrestling species, Nidia Wrestleus, goes through a molting process every so often. here we can see that she has shed her old skanky curly hair for some new straight hoe style hair. Steph: "I dunno I've tried everything, I've even tried scrubbing them out" or Jerri from survivor makes her wrestling debut as the bitch who hates everyone and complains about everything. The Hurricane may have super powers be even he was unable to dodge the giant throwing star that evil ninja, storm shadow threw at him ::Rhyno:: Ok man, be cool, don't mess this gore up, last time that happened Vince got pissed and put me in a feud with hardcore holly ::shudder:: ok, concentrate man, ready set, go! When HBK said he had god on his side he wasn't kidding, as our father and lord appeared before the arena and smote the devil HHH, casting him to back to the dark depths from where he came. Johnny B.-"I forgot my gimmick name again this week, just make something up, not like anyone cares, I am a tough enough winner after all." The Figure four leg lock had gone terribly wrong, when HBK, powered by god, stood straight up breaking both of Ric's legs in 4 spots. Ric: Shawn I'm getting caught down there, can you adjust me." Shawn: "It would be my pleasure." Ric: "ahh it's good to be a legend." HBK and CB celebrate their win over the Devil's spawn, while god cheers them on from seat 2a.Row B section 12. Batista: "Hunter you gotta help, These guys are just to talented and over compared to me." Hunter ::Satanic Voice:: "You've got no mic skills, or in ring skills, plus I'm focusing all my evil powers on little hunter, er I mean Randy, So sorry, even I can't work miracles Dave." You see the trick is to live in Texas, you'll get executed for Jaywalking there, but a scumbag like me, hell the cops just ask for my autograph and let me go  Trish was gloating about how she got the last package of Crest white strips. Trish was furious when the little blue man in the hamster ball refused to stop following her to the ring. Christian was horrified when he found out the woman he had been comforting for the last few minutes wasn't Trish, but was in fact Madeline Albright. Kane's Ecto cooler addiction was beginning to affect his in ring performance. Jerry Lynn made his velocity re-debut when he pinned Kane in 10 seconds, thus killing his character forever. Kane: "I didn't know that when you say the line, I don't know, on this show they pour slime on you. Reps to any old schooler that gets this one I'm crushing your head! This is how big your penis is compared to mine, You know what they say about black men Hunter. [/QUOTE]OMG it's happening again, it's just like WM XII all over again! NOOOOOOOOOOOO ::hunter explodes:: Last edited by faust34; 03-30-2004 at 09:30 PM. |
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03-30-2004, 08:57 PM
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#34 |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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HBK and Benoit stopped mid match to discover that this particular ref was, in fact, a decoy. |
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03-30-2004, 09:24 PM
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#35 |
Posts: 433
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Iceman90's Captions
Lets see what I can muster up this week.
Dancing Lance may be no more, so Triple H made The Hurricane take over the gimmick. Since Trish was wearing a big shirt, the camera gets the next best cleavage shot...Rhyno My penis is this much longer than Jazz's penis. Really? I heard Jazz's penis was this much bigger than yours! Triple H's reaction after finding out his stock in WWE just hit rock bottom. Jacko Is Wacko  If You Are A Boy!  TPWW Hardcore Champion (10) 02/03/04 - Took vacant title 02/03/04 - pinned CANADIAN. 02/03/04 - pinned CANADIAN. 02/03/04 - pinned CANADIAN yet again to regain the belt. 03/03/04 - pinned splaya. 03/03/04 - pinned thuganomicalcrippler. 03/03/04 - pinned splaya. 03/03/04 - defeated Helmsphere by submission. 07/03/2004 - pinned Savior. 21/03/2004 - pinned JasonVoorhees |
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03-30-2004, 09:26 PM
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#36 | |
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Posts: 1,008
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Quote:
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03-30-2004, 09:30 PM
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#37 | |
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The Dark Messenger
Posts: 251
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Quote:
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03-30-2004, 09:43 PM
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#38 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Wow, everyone was on fire today! Of course, with pics like those, it's not a huge surprise. Definitely a nice bit of comedy though.
 to everyone!
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03-30-2004, 11:27 PM
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#39 |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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Lillian: This match is scheduled for one fall.. Johnny Nitro: DURR THIS MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! Lillian: Stop mocking me! Johnny Nitro: LOOK AT ME, I'M LILLIAN GARCIA RRRURURURUR |
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03-30-2004, 11:53 PM
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#40 |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Lilian: ... and your special guest ref is Johnny Spa.. Johnny: actually there's been a change. I'll be Johnny Nitro from now on Lilian: your special ref... Johnny Nitro Batista: Hey I thought your name was Spade! Johnny: I changed it Batista: Well I wanna change my name too! Can I be announced as the Next Big Thing? I hear that's available now. Lilian: Fine, whatever. "Introducing the referee for the match Johnny Nitro. First up is team of Ric Flair and The Next Big Thing Batista. Their opponents for tonight are HBK Shawn Michaels and the WWE Champ Chris Benoit, from Calgary Alb.... Benoit (off screen): Actually Lilian, it's Atlanta now.... Lilian: F'k it, I quit. That is by far the longest caption I've ever written. |
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