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04-01-2004, 10:55 PM
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#1 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
 
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SmackDown! Captions (04/01/04) - April Fools.
                               
Last edited by Rock Bottom; 04-01-2004 at 11:27 PM. |
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04-01-2004, 11:17 PM
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#2 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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Eddie learned his lesson, never wear light colored clothing after a burritto eating contest, luckly he had a hat to cover his shame. Eddie: (8)I dance, I dance, I dance, I dance around the hat!(8) |
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04-01-2004, 11:29 PM
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#3 |
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1-0 TPWW Chess Master
Posts: 17,211
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RVD cringed as he saw that his paycheck for all his spots and moves that he does nightly was only 5 dollars. (Look closely near his knee and you'll see an object that resembles money) |
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04-01-2004, 11:30 PM
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#4 |
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Bucky F'N Barnes
Posts: 599
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Just a warm-up before I have my first go at this captioning thing...
"WWE: Live from the Cave of Wonders!" ended in tragedy, as Kurt Angle found himself irresistibly drawn to one of the cave's forbidden treasures. Eddie Guerrero proudly unveils the new "Latino Heat Asshat" - available now on WWE ShopZone! When in trouble, Eddie simply escaped through one of his trusty Acme Insta-Holes. |
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04-01-2004, 11:31 PM
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#5 |
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1-0 TPWW Chess Master
Posts: 17,211
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RVD cringed as he saw that his paycheck for all his spots and moves that he does nightly was only 5 dollars. And that was his paycheck of 5 dollars, for the last month. Surely RVD could not get a stash for next Thursday night with this amount for a paycheck (Look closely near his knee and you'll see an object that resembles money) |
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04-01-2004, 11:48 PM
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#6 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Angle: Wow, I'm really honored, and graciously accept this Broken-Neck-Stay-On-TV-Anyway-And-Bury-People award, but Austin is going to be a tough act to follow. This would be the last time Rikishi would ask for "All you can eat" when stepping into the WWE ring. However, this would not be the last time for the Big Show to ask for "All you can eat" when stepping into a WWE ring. Bradshaw: Are you the cruiserweight I'm here to bury? Driver: No hablo- Bradshaw: (Cutting him off) Thanks little buddy. Know where I might find this "Hablo" character? Rey: I wonder if you could do me a favor, get my head outta here, I don't like the flavor. Chavo: (Soft sigh of contentment) Ah Rey, where would I be without you rapping? Rey: I am the Latino John Cena, who is the White Eminem, who is the White Vanilla Ice... Chavo: Rey, that didn't rhyme... Rey: ...Better get my head outta here, 'cause I have lice. Chavo: ... Bradshaw: Bradshaw 619 says I just whipped your ass! Haas thought he had things well under control, until RVD's arm morphed into the MegaMan Buster Cannon. When your penis is that large, it certainly takes alot out of you to masturbate. Haas: This little piggy went to AA... This little piggy got stoned. This little piggy's wife got beat, and this little piggy drew none. And this little piggy went, weeeeeeeeewewewewewe, all the way home! RVD: Piggy one is Jake Roberts, Piggy two is me, Piggy three is Austin, Piggy four is Big Show, and Piggy five is Lesnar. Haas: Damn, you're good! RVD: Man, I told you not to inhale Richards's shotguns with all your lung power... As usual, the WWE's drug test got a little dramatic. Mr. Orton was kind enough to lend SmackDown his ESP machine, even though it was the other brand. Booker: (This man is the epitome of the word "jabroni...") Hardcore Holly: (I wish you were about 15 years younger you little ****, then I'd put you in your place.) Ref: (...Is that... Eminem? No, couldn't be.) Booker: Damn Bob, don't you think you're being a little stiff man? Hardcore: SHUT UP BLACK LESNAR! Booker: ...Black WHAT? Look here, silly little white man... And thus, Booker one-upped Brock, by disintegrating Holly's entire head with a piledriver. Long: D'Von... I... Am your father. Let's all hear it for the WWE's newest debut. AssMan: gangster Cena and the ref were shocked to see a guy call his own neck a homo. Cena: Jesus, I want a raise. I carry practically half this company on my back. Cena: This dog should be the new mascot for the WWE! Not only does it live and breathe WWE, but it shits WWE too! Eddie: Look, before you say something like, "Burritos and nachos and tacos," or something, I'd like to tell you that just because I'm a Latino doesn't mean I always eat that stuff, and that I can't enjoy a slice of pizza or a nice steak, so let's try and keep it respectable. OJ: I did it for The Rock. Apparently, to add spice to the brand feud between RAW and SmackDown, Jim Ross decided to invade SmackDown, proclaiming to be the leader of the new stable, "bWo," or, "BAHGAWDBBQSAUCESTUNNERUNPRETTIER World Order." Bradshaw: And this pink right here represents some heavy heat and humidity pouring through the area. A little to the west of that, there is some light rainfall, and I guess that giant Mexican guy is like El Nino or something. Eddie Guerrero was not a guy to fuck around when it came to Chuck E. Cheese games. Bradshaw does his impression of Vince trying to think of something to say other than, "You're fired." 'Taker: Well Eddie, looks like putting on that cowboy hat got you a huge pop, guess you owe me 20 bucks. I don't know what's worse, the fact that Eddie put the hat down there, or the fact that it slowly began to fill up. Eddie: P'tew! This is the nastiest tortilla I've ever had! Since Ross had success with his cookbook, Austin decided to give it a go. He was also kind enough to show us how he made French Toast for free. Bradshaw: Ah shit! Sorry Steve, I forgot to tape your shows on the Lifetime channel! Austin: April Fools! Fan: Eddie, what are you doing? Eddie: I'm doing a science fair project on the diets of people that Vince will give a push. Eddie was beginning to get frustrated, and thought to himself, "This is the last time I try and hat dance with Steven Richards." |
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04-01-2004, 11:49 PM
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#7 |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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LOL at the Asshat one, totally missed that one.
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04-02-2004, 12:02 AM
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#8 | |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Quote:
Last edited by loopydate; 04-02-2004 at 12:03 AM. Reason: 1900. Huzzah. |
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04-02-2004, 12:27 AM
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#9 |
Posts: 18,357
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When the arena suddenly started to shake and collapse, Angle knew he shouldn't have gloated about stealing the treasures of the Temple of Doom. Big Show: "C'mon! You call that a tug?" Rikishi: "Damn Rhyno and his late going away presents!!!" Rikishi was used to taking big dumps, but pooping out the Big Show was an incredible feat even for him. The Reincarnated Rematch between Davy Crockett and General Santa Ana proved to be a little lopsided on the American's side... The consumate heel that he was, Chavo beheaded Mysterio AND gloated about it. To add more heel heat to Bradshaw, the SmackDOWN! writers appointed Bradshaw official Invisible Crucifix nailer. Brian Hebner eyed the bar. This would be his greatest limbo challenge yet! Rob's mother always warned him to stop dry-humping metal poles before he got hurt... Haas: "You talk to Rhyno before you left?" RVD: "Yeah." Haas: "Dammit, going away AND coming in presents!!!" And suddenly, Haas realized the color of his trunks. RVD and the ref argued into the night, but controversy or not, Haas had won the invisible lightsaber. Holly: "You sonofabitch! You stole my push! I was main eventing just three months ago, and now I'm in midcard hell!" Booker: "Listen sucka, I'm better than you. I have better moves than you. I have more heat than you. Fans love to hate me. I have every-- hey sucka, look at me when I'm talking to ya!" Holly: "Sorry, I was captivated by your beautiful hair..." Booker:  Holly: "Where that push??? Is it here???" Holly: "Or is it here??? TELL ME!!!! Oh shit, I got pinned again." Long: "The Man is holding down the brotha. See, D-Von, you didn't even notice that Bubba borrowed some of Rhyno's crazy glue to paste a thermal detonator onto your cheek." Cena was pointing to the fine young lady sitting ringside, so he was a bit confused when he noticed Brian Hebner checking Michael Cole out instead. Here, Johnny Stamboli does his best "Sacramento Kings as the season winds down" impression.  [Insert Forrest Gump/Lt. Dan joke here] Cena: "Hey Renee, how come YOU get to hang out with Stephanie?" The depush of Eddie Guerrero began as he was appointed Official SmackDOWN! Boogers Inspector. Arriving at the arena late, Bradshaw reflected that taking that detour literally through the cattle ranch might not have been a good idea. Poor Al Gore. Look what he's been reduced to: giving speeches by the side of the road while trying to hitchhike. "And with our Commander in Chief George W. Bush financing the operation, the Border Patrol Stable will VANQUISH you MEXiCANS!!!" As if being Booger Inspector wasn't humiliating enough, the writers had to make Eddie play a giant game of Whack-A-Mole! "Y-y-y-you're... a-a-a-a homo!" Wearing JR's hat had interesting side effects. "Piedra fria! Piedra fria! Maravilla! Salsa de Barbeque caballo cerveza Austin!!!!" The side effects also proved, once and for all, that JR did indeed talk from his ass. Damn Flair for telling Eddie that hat was really an oddly shaped white flour tortilla! "2 gallons... 3 gallons..." "No! Not Florida!" "...TEN gallons!!!" "And.... tada!! Steven Richards CAN spin upside down breakdance style!" OR The chase was on, and this week at least, Eddie ended up with the upper hand over the WWE Champion, White Cowboy Hat. OR After making some doves magically appear from the hat, Eddie unveiled his final trick: making marijuana DISAPPEAR INTO the hat! |
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04-02-2004, 12:27 AM
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#10 |
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Posts: 18,357
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I sucked.
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04-02-2004, 12:34 AM
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#11 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Um, Eddie. It's wear your ass for a hat, not the other way around... |
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04-02-2004, 12:37 AM
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#12 | |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Quote:
The thermal detonator, Stephanie, Booger Inspector, and all of the hat captions were top notch. BTW, for the "Forrest/Lt. Dan" line, how about... "Somethin' bit me!" |
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04-02-2004, 01:39 AM
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#13 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Angle: Congrats to the new Employee of the month, Broken-Award-used-from-an-old-angle-involving-Stephanie! Chavo: Hi,Chavo Guerrero here! When I'm not jobbing to Spike Dudley or riding my horse PePe, I read. So remember kids, reading is fundamental! Christine returns with a new look.. And claims the life of Rey and what's left of Spike. Another fan attacking a wrestler by eggs, had their plan foiled by that wacky psychic ref and the X-men! Eddie tries to save young Bradshaw from the clutches of Christine.. but it was too late. Damn these Assless pants! Haas: Yeah! I beat the former champ on my first night here! Thanks, Chris! RVD: For the last time, that wasn't you... I know that because..I haven't been the champ at all... DUUUUDEE...:then cries in the corner w/ stash: yea.. this week's pics...blah |
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04-02-2004, 04:55 AM
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#14 | |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Quote:
 I think that one is my best caption ever.
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04-02-2004, 04:58 AM
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#15 | |
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Ball So Hard University
Posts: 8,450
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Quote:
Anyway, Corky you are the man. |
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04-02-2004, 05:26 AM
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#16 |
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Posts: 18,357
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RB, your El Nino caption is growing on me. I didn't really laugh at much at first, but it's getting funnier.
 Incidentally, Loopy's 10-gallon hat one from last month is doing the same.
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04-02-2004, 05:49 AM
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#17 | |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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Quote:
, nice one 
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04-02-2004, 09:33 AM
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#18 |
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1-0 TPWW Chess Master
Posts: 17,211
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Now see my only one was downright terrible
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04-02-2004, 09:39 AM
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#19 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Eddie shocked everyone when his lower half got the runs and left. |
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04-02-2004, 10:31 AM
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#20 | ||
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#1 Senior Elite Member
Posts: 7,886
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JT: Should I even write out the caption for this? Sean O'Hare: No JT. Don't tell them anything they don't already know. |
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04-02-2004, 10:38 AM
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#21 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Haas: "Saaay... wasn't Jindrak supposed to be on this show?" Jindrak: "Oh, just up here, visiting a friend..." Haas:  By the way, I'm all for a roster trade with the photographers/cameramen. Smackdown pics are totally jobbing to the Raw pics.  Also, did anyone notice that Cena said that Booker looked like Busta Rhymes? More proof! Tell the people!
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04-02-2004, 11:01 AM
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#22 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Angle comes out to present the annual "Push for a year then go to the NFL award" Big Show: What the ****?! The crowd loves this when Stacy does it! Rikishi knew Big Show was a huge Pink Floyd fan, so he showed Big Show the dark side of the moon Bradshaw: Jose Lothario, damn you've gone far since '96 Chavo knew the only way to get elevated was to grab on and hold on for dear life Moments before the ref nails the sweetest twisting hurricarana ever Haas: Ha! gotcha leg! RVD: Ha! gotcha push! Haas: ...*dirty mother****er* When Haas saw the flying head of RVD demanding justice, he knew never smoke his stash again Holly: Around here we pay dues son! Booker: Damn fool! I've been wrestling for 4 years longer than you! Holly: Yeah sure thing G.I Bro Booker: Eat me Spark Plugg Holly: So I said rectum, damn near ... Booker: Would you please shut the hell up Booker: Here're my dues bitch! Bubba and D-Von were equally surprised when Papa Dudley finally showed up Most gangster "you're a homo" point ever Cena: You know Dusty Rhodes was the Midnight Rider right? Bull: Lies! Lies! John "The Dumpster" Cena debuts to a mild reaction Calling the dog a homo was going a little too far Picasso's version of a vase Even the limo threw the horns up for Cena The crowd drew back in fear when Ted Kennedy made his debut Something seems different about the Undertaker...I just can't put my finger on it... Where will you be when your diaherria acts up? If heat meant soft leather, then yes Eddie was addicted to the heat The making of Evolution's Kool-Aid God was supposed to be infallible. When Bradshaw got a main event push, who knew existence would unmake itself? Eddie: And now I will jump from a ladder into this hat, any takers? |
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04-02-2004, 01:25 PM
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#23 |
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Pelvic Sorcerer
Posts: 64,762
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 Cena and Bradshaw agree, he's a homo. |
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04-02-2004, 03:09 PM
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#24 |
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Cactus died for your sins
Posts: 1,002
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This is some of the best stuff in ages.
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04-02-2004, 03:18 PM
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#25 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
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04-02-2004, 04:20 PM
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#26 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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ANGLE: "Hoss" is a word that's thrown around far too often these days, making true "hossness" difficult to measure. The following five nominees, however, embody the true essence of "hossity." The nominees for "The Giant Gonzalez Award for Achievement in Hossitude" are... Well, duh. RIKISHI: Ha ha ha! You can't see me! SHOW: No, but I can see...corn? BRADHSAW: Dammit, Pepe-- DRIVER: Jose. BRADSHAW: --I told you to have my limo totally white by the time I get back out, and so far you've only covered up the "ow me, you ignorant redneck!" CHAVO: Psst, Rey. REY: Yeah? CHAVO: How'd you convince Vince to let you wrestle in your pajamas? REY: How do you think I got the streaks on my mask? CHAVO: ...that explains the stickiness. BRIAN: I'll be damned! TWO spouts? Now I've seen everything! REF: Peekaboo! RVD couldn't resist a "Quadruple Dog Dare." When RVD's dandruff acted up, Charlie Robinson jumped into action. HAAS: I don't mean to alarm anyone, but Fuzzy Lumpkins is in the front row! ROBINSON: Hey, look! I'm a fish! RVD: Dude! You're a fish! HAAS: I won! FROST TITAN OF THE NORTH: Noogie! HOLLY: We don't take kindly to people dyin' our mops black and wearin' 'em fer hats 'round here. BOOKER: This is my hair. PATRICK: Douchebag. HOLLY: That award is mine! BOOK: You ain't a hoss, sucka. HOLLY: I'm a superheavyweight! BOOK: That was, like, four years ago. Nobody remembers that. HOLLY: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. That would explain why I got slapped when I asked that chick if she wanted to "jump on the scale." Backstage, Vince McMahon was furious. "I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! How did an 'HGA Gone Wild' camera crew get to ringside? I'm Vince McMahon, dammit!" Sign number 8,549,176,320 that WWE thinks RAW is the superior show: Reruns of old RAW segments during SmackDown. CENA: No, THAT ping-pong ball's a homo! DARTH CENA: You have failed me for the last time, Captain Stamboli. Why is it always Cena's job to get the hosses to bed on time? CENA: And now I will use my powers to...TURN SYLVAN GRENIER INTO A POODLE! After he broke his nose, Eddie knew that the only one who could take care of him was Kurt "Booboo Kisser" Angle. With Rhyno on RAW, the SmackDown writers would use any excuse for the word "Gore" they could find. BRADSHAW: Okay, Stevie. One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war. Five, six, seven, eight. Try to keep your thumb straight. DUBYA: Excuse me Mister Gorillaro. Have ya seen any weapons of mass destruction? Ah cain't find 'em anywhere. Or perhaps homos? Ah need somebody ta persecute now that Ah ran outta brown people. After jumping on the speeding limo, Peter Parker was struck with a horrible realization. He forgot his costume! LAWYER: Mister Bradshaw, would you please point to whomever it was that put you in the giant marshmallow? EDDIE: Orale, homes. I have a sudden urge to buy guns and a trailer, ese! EDDIE: I'm going to sit on you so hard, your hat will be the only thing sticking out. BRADSHAW: I'd like to see you try! (Moments later) EDDIE: Ow. Um...Eddie? You got a little-- 20 oz. soda: $3.50 Cup of beer: $6.00 Cowboy hat: $1,200.00 Getting your hand on national TV: Priceless HHH (on video): BUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EDDIE: Okay. Now, who brought the eye of newt? The Sliders knew they had to go now, or they'd be stuck on SmackDown for the next 28 years! |
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04-02-2004, 09:37 PM
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#27 |
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TPWW's Glass Ceiling
Posts: 5,793
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George Bush arrives at Smackdown! to search for the weapons of mass destruction... Bradshaw thought it was way cool that even if you looked at 'em upside down,Rey's tights STILL said 6-1-9.... Both Nick Patrick and Booker stared on in confusion....neither could believe that Firemarshall Bill had been drafted to Smackdown!... GW does his best Wicked Witch of The West impersonation... |
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04-03-2004, 12:49 AM
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#28 |
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Posts: 129
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Patrick: Hardcore Holly, meet talent. Talent, meet Hardcore Holly. |
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04-03-2004, 01:29 AM
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#29 |
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Franchise of TPWW
Posts: 15,458
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Not a caption, but is it just me or does Rey Rey look like he shrunk back down to his old WCW size in the picture where Bradshaw is standing over him.
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04-03-2004, 07:19 AM
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#30 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Bradshaw: Ahhh, it is just how I remember it 10 years ago! I love it! Driver: Yeah. Let's go turn you in, again. Bradshaw: Wait..what? Turn me in? Driver: Well, yes. Rape, sexual assault...it's all a crime. Bradshaw: We're at Disney World right? Driver: No, this is Disney State Prison! Bradshaw: I TOLD YOU TO GO TO DISNEY WORLD! Chavo: He cannot escape! RVD accidently slid crotch-first into the ring post, inspiring the referee to do the same! Booker T: You disrespecting me, sucka? You and me ain't nothing but mammels, so, let's do it right now, and I am going to kick your ass, just like the Discovery Channel! Hardcore Holly: Gettin Horny Now! Bradshaw: EDDIE! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE AND FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK! or.. Bradshaw: NO, YOU CAN'T PUT MOUNTAIN DEW IN THERE! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! And we thought Bowling for Soup was a band |
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04-03-2004, 05:54 PM
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#31 |
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President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,329
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RVD does his best Kevin Nash impersonation. |
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04-03-2004, 09:32 PM
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#32 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Linear Mode
