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Old 01-08-2010, 09:04 PM   #1
IC Champion
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:07 PM   #2
IC Champion
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“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:07 PM   #3
Cool King
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0:08
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:08 PM   #4
Jeritron
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:08 PM   #5
IC Champion
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"Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? "Why did I have the bowl?" - Milhouse.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
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"I don't recall saying good luck"
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:11 PM   #7
Lock Jaw
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Bart: "Mom, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing in our way."
Homer: "Push her down, son."
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:14 PM   #8
Xero
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"GO BANANA!"
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:06 AM   #9
Impact!
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I'm dying Moe
Is there anything I can do professor?
Not unless you have a cure for cancer...do you have a cure for cancer?...Coz that would be great!
I'm sorry professor...
Goodbye Moe
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:14 AM   #10
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"To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!" - Homer Simpson
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:15 AM   #11
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Homer: [slams the door] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up
there.
[Marge scrapes it off into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:27 AM   #12
Supreme Olajuwon
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We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:28 AM   #13
Supreme Olajuwon
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My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. (the children laugh) What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:29 AM   #14
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put out an APB on a uosdwis r. dewoh...better start in Greek town
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:30 AM   #15
Supreme Olajuwon
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Did you know every good American is at heart an erotic American?

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Old 01-09-2010, 01:04 AM   #16
Vietnamese Crippler
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Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent.
Fourteen percent of all people know that.
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:05 AM   #17
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Homer: What is the mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:15 AM   #18
Supreme Olajuwon
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throwing out the tracy ullman lines

classy
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:28 AM   #19
toxic rooster
adjective noun
 
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I have had it, I have HAD IT with this school, Skinner. The low test scores. Class after class of ugly, ugly children
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:29 AM   #20
toxic rooster
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Authorities say the phony pope can be identified by his high-top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth.
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:59 AM   #21
Ol Dirty Dastard
boop/bop/beep
 
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Homer: I keep hearing this horrible irregular thumping sound.
Gas attendant: I think that's your heart... and it sounds like it's on it's last thump.
Homer: PHEW! I thought it was my transmission *drives off*
Billy: Hey where's that man going?
Gas attendant: Billy... remember that old Plymouth we just couldn't fix?
Billy: We're gonna sell him to Mr. Nikapopolous?
Gas attendant: You're a dull boy Billy.
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:07 AM   #22
Vietnamese Crippler
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Bart: Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby.
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:29 AM   #23
Arnold HamNegger
Terminator Daddy!
 
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Stupid Sexy Flanders!
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:39 AM   #24
The Destroyer
Baird
 
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My all time favourite Homer rant, from Lisa's Rival:

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called ‘City Fathers’ who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

And a classic Lionel Hutz exchange:
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck! Your sexual harassment case is just the thing I need to rebuild my shattered practice! (he produces a bottle from his desk) Care to join me in a belt of scotch?
Marge: It's 9:30 in the morning!
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days. (he takes a generous swig) Last chance! (Homer and Marge don't respond. Hutz drains the bottle) Oh, yeah....
Last edited by The Destroyer; 01-09-2010 at 02:14 PM.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:09 AM   #25
Fox
"Ask him!"
 
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BURNS: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate one million dollars to the children's orphanage... when pigs fly!

(They laugh hysterically. A pig goes flying past the window and they both slowly stop laughing.)

SMITHERS ...will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?

BURNS: Mmm... I'd still prefer not."
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:16 AM   #26
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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"It's funny 'cos it's someone else" Homer (Driving by an accident I think?)
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:18 AM   #27
Supreme Olajuwon
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Ralph: Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
Lisa: Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
Ralph: My cat's name is Mittens.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:21 AM   #28
Cool King
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sascha View Post
"It's funny 'cos it's someone else" Homer (Driving by an accident I think?)
Don't you mean "It's funny 'cause I don't know him"?

That's when Homer is watching a driver's education film that's got footage of car crash victims.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:28 AM   #29
Jeritron
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Spare me your euphemisms! It's fat camp, for Daddy's chubby little secret!
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:06 PM   #30
Supreme Olajuwon
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We'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing. We're gonna live like kings. Damn hell ass kings!
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:20 PM   #31
Supreme Olajuwon
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Lisa: That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love.
Homer: OK, hon... sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:21 PM   #32
Supreme Olajuwon
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Simple but always a personal favorite of mine
Hired goons?
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:41 PM   #33
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool King View Post
Don't you mean "It's funny 'cause I don't know him"?

That's when Homer is watching a driver's education film that's got footage of car crash victims.
Indeed. I believe that's it.
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Old 01-09-2010, 12:45 PM   #34
El Fangel
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"God forgive me, I just aint that bright" - H.J Simpson
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:44 PM   #35
XCaliber
 
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Abe "Grampa" Simpson: Latex Condo... boy i'd sure like to live in one of those!
Last edited by XCaliber; 01-09-2010 at 01:47 PM.
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Old 01-09-2010, 01:50 PM   #36
El Fangel
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Dental Plan, Lisa Needs Braces.
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:57 PM   #37
Buzzkill
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Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Damn I can't think of any this is terrible.

I've seen seasons 1-8 like 2903 times
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:23 PM   #38
IC Champion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzkill View Post
Damn I can't think of any this is terrible.

I've seen seasons 1-8 like 2903 times
So you've seen every episode worth watching.
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:40 PM   #39
Cool King
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I'm a bit surprised that nobody has said "D'oh!" yet.
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:25 PM   #40
parkmania
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parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)parkmania puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Ha-ha! - Nelson
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