WrestleMania 33: The Official Thread

[FourFifty]

Unrelated to this match, but SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT

IT'S HAPPENING

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My biggest regret as a wrestling fan is not following Matt Hardybin TNA until about weeks ago... now I might get Broken Matt Hardy and Brother Nero on a show I watch!

[Evil Vito]

Think Steph looks so good because she consumes all the youth from the wrestlers she emasculates.

[Evil Vito]

Unrelated to this match, but SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT

IT'S HAPPENING

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[slik]

where is samoa jospeh

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you love watching a guy attack a leg, is this the match for you.<br>If not, sit tight &amp; wait for <a href="https://twitter.com/pitbull">@pitbull</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WrestleMania?src=hash">#WrestleMania</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/848714635326967817">April 3, 2017</a></blockquote>
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[Nicky Fives]

I'm pretty sure Stephanie is getting better looking with age....

[DAMN iNATOR]

where is samoa jospeh

His music isn't PG. :shifty:

[Emperor Smeat]

where is samoa jospeh

Just bidding his time before someone on commentary forgets to put some respect when saying his name.

Or currently beating up Ryder in catering over the last slice of pizza.

[Droford]

I just realized if Samoa joe interjects himself itll take him 5 minutes to waddle down to the ring

[KIRA]

My biggest regret as a wrestling fan is not following Matt Hardybin TNA until about weeks ago... now I might get Broken Matt Hardy and Brother Nero on a show I watch!

You might still get a watered down WWE version and not the balls out insanity they gave us before.

[Dark One]

For something meant to be an unsanctioned match, doesn't feel that brutal or blood feud worthy so far.

[Droford]

This match seems to be killing the crowd

[Dark One]

"We may see the Cerebral Assassin live up to his namesake."

I don't think Byron understands what the Cerebral Assassin nickname was about, and I believe he thinks Triple H is going to cave in Seth's skull.

[Sepholio]

lol Byron is so awful.

[KIRA]

Triple H's ringwork starting to match his promo style.

[DAMN iNATOR]

This match seems to be killing the crowd

Typical Triple H burial match will do that when you've seen the same movie like 13 times.

[Triple A]

Yeah this match is freaking boring so far!

[Droford]

Rollins should use the sledge as a crutch

[Sepholio]

Passing of the torch (sledgehammer) moment?

[Dark One]

2.9999

[Locke]

Would be cool to see stephanie mcmahon get smashed in the face by sledge hammer

[Locke]

How many matches are left

[Maluco]

Feel like Seth needs to win this to be legit, but this would be HHH's 12th Mania loss. A record i cant see him wanting.

[Emperor Smeat]

This match and the mixed tag matches really brought down a pretty amazing Mania so far.

Maybe some shenanigans soon will make HHH-Rollins a lot better.

[Droford]

he hit the phoenix splash!

[Evil Vito]

Keep watching that Hardyz Streamable and thinking

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[Dark One]

I think that's the first time Seth Rollins has actually hit the Phoenix Splash.

[RP]

Can the Hardy Boys come out and win the tag titles again?

[Triple A]

Always feel like the person jumping off the top rope is gonna land their knee on the person's arm and break their bone ever since that one time it happened to Eddie Guerrero or something like 15 years ago

[Evil Vito]

Boy has this match ever been a slog.

[Droford]

how many countered pedigrees

[Theo Dious]

OH SHIT

[Dark One]

Steph took a table bump. Good on her.

[DAMN iNATOR]

How many matches are left

4 after this:
• Reigns v. Taker
• SDL Women's Championship
• WWE Championship
• Universal Championship

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: 2nd year in a row Steph takes a random big bump and generates the biggest pop for it.

[Evil Vito]

Well, can't say I saw a Steph table bump coming. Fair play to that.

[Dark One]

3.25/5

These two had a fairly polite wrestling match for wanting to murder each other.

+.25 for Stephanie taking a table bump.

[Droford]

HHH should have gotten out of the ring and rushed sTeph up the ramp for the countout loss lol

[Sepholio]

Seth is going to pay for that....

[Theo Dious]

Well Stephanie is dead.

[Maluco]

That's huge for Rollins. Gets back Stephanie, and beats HHH clean at about 50%

HHH is a legend for taking that loss. What a guy

[Nicky Fives]

Decent match, solid finish. Great pop for Steph going through table surprised me.

[KIRA]

Steph just ate wood....(too easy)

[Sepholio]

Women next or Orton/Wyatt?

[Bad News Gertner]

Woooo weed break

[Nicky Fives]

Piss break.

[Savio]

This is the true main event

[Theo Dious]

This is retarded.

[KIRA]

no.

[Nicky Fives]

Sorry kid, you're never going to be as good as your father.

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/DanRyckert">@DanRyckert</a> I love that this is forever a part of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wrestlemania?src=hash">#Wrestlemania</a> History <a href="https://t.co/QtqSUbKqx8">pic.twitter.com/QtqSUbKqx8</a></p>&mdash; Kevin (@kevswhatevs) <a href="https://twitter.com/kevswhatevs/status/848710815360462849">April 3, 2017</a></blockquote>
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[FourFifty]

This guy should The voice the crab when Disney remakes the little mermaid.

[Ruien]

This guy seems okay.

[Dark One]

Pitbull dances like Eugene.

[Droford]

I got options

one of them is to go away til youre not on tv

[Ruien]

This seems 100% better than what we typically get.

[Theo Dious]

Ugh this is making my colon seize.

[Droford]

wait..Flo Rida got fat?

[KIRA]

I want to believe people aren't throwing things because they all went to piss.

[Dark One]

Do they call that dude Lunch Money Lewis because he beat up every other kid in his high school to take their lunch money and eat through the entire cafeteria?

[DAMN iNATOR]

Sorry guys...having "hot chicks" dancing in the background does NOT make this unnecessary concert OK.

Hell, it wasn't even OK when Flo Rida gave a concert right before Rock's entrance at WM 28.

[Evil Vito]

My thoughts on this concert

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[FourFifty]

I fondly recall WrestleMania 25... the Kid Rock segment was a giant piss break for the live audience.

[Savio]

Pitbull and Big Smoke are performing quite well.

[GD]

Does the WWE have a deal with Flo Rida?

My friend who doesn't like wrestling thoroughly enjoyed the Seth Rollins - Triple H bout. He was blown away by how awesome Seth was.

[Droford]

WWE Testing the 7 hour show

[Ruien]

I want to believe people aren't throwing things because they all went to piss.

Ya let's just boo everyone possible so no celebrities want to be part of the shows going forward. This is actually pretty good. Get over yourself if it isn't your type of music.

[Bad News Gertner]

Smoked two bowls during this. I don't mind these performances one bit.

[Ruien]

Does the WWE have a deal with Flo Rida?

My friend who doesn't like wrestling thoroughly enjoyed the Seth Rollins - Triple H bout. He was blown away by how awesome Seth was.

Your friend has wonderful taste.

[Dark One]

Probably could have told people that Flo Rida was Shaq and had him face Big Show. 90% of the crowd wouldn't have been able to tell the difference given that they are 5000 feet away.

[Juan]

Flo Rida must have been busy this year

[GD]

Pitbull and Big Smoke are performing quite well.

They are fucking professionals. As much as I dislike his style of music, Pitbull is does a lot of cool things (charity and shit).

[slik]

Flo Rida has replaced Limp Bizkit as WWE's favorite music act

[Droford]

Theres no way the SD Womens title makes the show is there

[BigCrippyZ]

Lol. Wife just said "Why is Pitbull wearing OJ's gloves? Maybe he did it?"

[Juan]

Wait never mind lol

[RP]

give him the red light please

[Dark One]

Expecting Bray Wyatt to have a legendary entrancew now that he's finally entering a Mania when it's dark.

[Ruien]

WYATT TIME!!!!

[DAMN iNATOR]

.25/5 concert. +.25 for it not being another shitty "Motörhead sings Triple H's theme really badly for a long time" concert (RIP, Lemmy).

[Evil Vito]

Somehow Limp Bizkit at WM19 looked good compared to that drivel

[Droford]

WWE better go to 2 nights for WM from here on out

[GD]

Not a great positioning for the WWE Championship match. Unless it is a quick one.

[Dark One]

WWE better go to 2 nights for WM from here on out

They're going to start at noon next time.

[GD]

I don't like it when the champion enters first.

[KaosDarksol]

Really looking forward to Bray retaining. We don't need this to be the third title change is 3 ppvs

[Bad News Gertner]

Bray's entrance is just amazing, especially when you're stoned.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Calling it now, Goldberg v. Brock will be a WM-record quick squash match.

[Droford]

70000 fireflys maggle!

[Dark One]

Impressive visual with all the lights, but I was hoping for more zombies/scarecrows/witch doctors/etc

[Droford]

Bray Wyatt challenging Taker for longest entrance time

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

think it's good to give the fans a bit of a break with such a long show. Don't understand why you guys care so much. just do something different for 10 minutes lol

[Ruien]

FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS

[Droford]

CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST...oh

[DAMN iNATOR]

Bray Wyatt challenging Taker for longest entrance time

3QgwHu0V6KM

[Evil Vito]

Amazing visual seeing that many phones

[Ruien]

think it's good to give the fans a bit of a break with such a long show. Don't understand why you guys care so much. just do something different for 10 minutes lol

You do realize you are talking to wrestling fans right?

[KIRA]

That silhouette shot is cool as hell

[Savio]

Orton walking on sperm

[Droford]

lol theres a snake on the ramp following Randy

[Maluco]

Orton tired half way down with his Geocities snake he got off Tex Ferguson

[Theo Dious]

SNAKEY SNAKEY!!!

[Evil Vito]

Orton riding a giant animatronic sperm to the ring.

[Emperor Smeat]

Orton's snake entrance looks goofy.

[Triple A]

I don't like that Bray Wyatt came out first as the champ!!!

[Ruien]

Really cool they are using the ramp to enhance the entrances for some of the wrestlers.

[DAMN iNATOR]

\_0_/

[slik]

Let's go Bray!

[DAMN iNATOR]

Bray Wyatt, the Hermaeus Mora of WWE.

[Droford]

MAGGOTS MAGGLE

[Triple A]

That was cool... they should have the whole match like that.................

[Theo Dious]

The fuck

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at the worms shenanigans.

[Evil Vito]

Randy Orton's entrance as acted out by Homer Simpson:

http://www.ewbattleground.com/uploads/monthly_2017_04/5GWlQgy2J8vE4.gif.a304b0d09db9bae8cda7907ebebf6f27.gif

[Droford]

NOW for Sister Abigail to come crawling out of the ring

[Emperor Smeat]

WWE probably needs to go to almost midnight for the rest of the card to have some quality time since the concert and Rollins-HHH ate up too much time.

[Dark One]

Hey, I mean, people have been chanting for them to turn out the lights all night.

[Savio]

It'd be funny if the next image on the mat was the Paige sex tape.

[Droford]

WE GOT WORMS!

[GD]

That is some weird shit right there.

[slik]

Maggots are The Ultimate Thrill Ride!

[Droford]

WWE probably needs to go to almost midnight for the rest of the card to have some quality time since the concert and Rollins-HHH ate up too much time.

Nothing like 7 hours of PRO WRASSLIN

theres no other people that would sit somewhere for 7 hours for this

[DAMN iNATOR]

In shock, or bored out of their fucking minds?!

[Droford]

We need scarecrows and buzzards now too

[Bad News Gertner]

3QgwHu0V6KM

Obsessed with Family Guy after all these years

[GD]

Bayley had a nip slip that I didn't see

https://i.redd.it/fetca1bjr8py.png

[DAMN iNATOR]

WE GOT WORMS!

45Ie8rTXhO0

[Dark One]

So, with Foley fired, Steph undoubtedly out injured, and Hunter defeated... Kurt Angle will volunteer to step in and lead Raw with Integrity, Intensity, and Intelligence, right?

[Theo Dious]

OUTTA NOWHERE

[KIRA]

WE GOT WORMS!

You should probably get that checked out.

[Dark One]

Bayley had a nip slip that I didn't see

https://i.redd.it/fetca1bjr8py.png

DAMN iNATOR is now dead.

[Bad News Gertner]

What an ugly whore

[Theo Dious]

Nothing like 7 hours of PRO WRASSLIN

theres no other people that would sit somewhere for 7 hours for this

Clearly you've never attended a Nascar race with a shitload of delays.

[Savio]

Bray should have retained

[Dark One]

2.25/5, even with screen projections included.

[GD]

Not sure why Orton needs yet another title reign.

[Nicky Fives]

Got that one wrong....

[Theo Dious]

Thst was a peculiar but enjoyable match.

[Droford]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Could not be more happier for my friends <a href="https://twitter.com/JEFFHARDYBRAND">@JEFFHARDYBRAND</a> n <a href="https://twitter.com/BethBrittHardy_">@BethBrittHardy_</a> ... Super, super congrats!</p>&mdash; Jeff Jarrett (@RealJeffJarrett) <a href="https://twitter.com/RealJeffJarrett/status/848703218502836224">April 3, 2017</a></blockquote>
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that Beth Hardy!

[KIRA]

THE FUCK!

[Maluco]

Lol @ Wyatt messing around with his video clips of maggots and cockroaches, then losing clean.

Makes him look ridiculous tbh

[Droford]

Clearly you've never attended a Nascar race with a shitload of delays.

Ive seen enough to know that most of the crowd doesnt stay the entire time

[Ruien]

FUCK YOU RANDY

[Sepholio]

That finish makes me sad :/

Bray is dead.

[Evil Vito]

So Bray controls the whole match. Has all of the mindgames going. Hits his finisher which Orton kicks out of. Boom RKO Bray jobs.

Waste of his first title reign.

[Emperor Smeat]

Well that was umm odd to say at least for an ending.

[DAMN iNATOR]

DAMN iNATOR is now dead.

MEH...I'll just ignore that link. Got too much respect for her.

[Dark One]

Curious to see how the crowd responds to this match.

[Droford]

lol Reigns Taker last

guess what

[Vastardikai]

Sounds like the Meth Budget for the Hardyz was smoked up by Orton and Bray.

[Triple A]

That seemed like a bad ending... Did Bray Wyatt even defend the title besides this match

[Theo Dious]

Um. The Smackdown women are going on AFTER the world titles???

[Ruien]

Omfg just bring out Bliss so I can see what she dressed up as and then I can go play Overwatch again.

[Nicky Fives]

Curious to see how the crowd responds to this match.

[Ruien]

Um. The Smackdown women are going on AFTER the world titles???

They always have a filler match before the final match.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Go figure, shoehorning Reigns v. Taker into the main event so HE can be shoved down fans throats for the next 15 years...:roll:

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

lol that was an odd match.

[Droford]

Reigns totally winning and they dont want the crowd to shit on the rest of the show lol

[Frank Drebin]

Not thrilled to see such a quick Bray title reign.

[Emperor Smeat]

Going to laugh if the Universal title match ends in under 2 minutes.

WWE pretty much put themselves in a corner with how this feud was booked.

[A.J.K]

Um. The Smackdown women are going on AFTER the world titles???

that is weird, i mean unless something major happens in the women's match no one is expecting.

[Dark One]

That seemed like a bad ending... Did Bray Wyatt even defend the title besides this match

He did pin Cena clean in a triple threat with AJ Styes.

[Evil Vito]

I bet there's still one more New Day segment before the night is done too, possibly a lengthy one involving legends. They hyped up their hosting duties only to only do two quick bits.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Um. The Smackdown women are going on AFTER the world titles???

Not surprised. It's a pretty typical way to have sort of a buffer match between a couple of high intensity and/or drama men's matches so as not to burn them out before the show ends.

[Maluco]

Woman's title will be normal fare, it's just a buffer between the two big matches.

[KaosDarksol]

That seemed like a bad ending... Did Bray Wyatt even defend the title besides this match

he defended it the smackdown after elimination chamber against cena and aj, but that was it. Three different smackdown champions in three ppvs.

[Frank Drebin]

I guess I'm kinda interested in the outcomes of Brock/Berg and Taker/Roman but not the matches themselves at all.

[DAMN iNATOR]

that is weird, i mean unless something major happens in the women's match no one is expecting.

Asuka gonna show up and murder everyone else.

[Maluco]

Am a bit nervous tbh. I am a Lesnar mark and if he loses this, i don't think there is a way back for his mystique

[Emperor Smeat]

I bet there's still one more New Day segment before the night is done too, possibly a lengthy one involving legends. They hyped up their hosting duties only to only do two quick bits.

Yeah either Big E or Woods hinted they were supposed to have at least 5 segments but then again the sheets did hint the WWE was having timing issues for the card. I thought that just meant they had a lot more free time available and not what we are getting so far.

[Locke]

watch them fuck up lesnar pyro again...

[Evil Vito]

I think this rushed Orton/Wyatt build and that subsequent wet fart of a title change has pretty much killed any remaining interest I had in Bray's character. He finally won a huge match to get the title, there was room to salvage him - but nope. He's just a crazy man who cuts nonsensical promos and rarely backs up his talk in the ring.

[DAMN iNATOR]

LOL, probably 80+°F and Brock wears a winter cap. :lol:

[Droford]

Match is probably gonna be a 30 minute slugfest just cause no one sees is going 5

[Savio]

Paul Heyman is so good.

[Maluco]

Does Brock look a bit fat?

[Evil Vito]

Goldberg is surely gassed even just thinking about walking down this ramp.

[KIRA]

Heyman dropped 20 pounds walking that ramp.

[Droford]

This is gonna take 10 minutes just to get Goldy to the ring

[RP]

If Goldberg goes 30 minutes, he'll have to be carted to the hospital for dehydration.

[Dark One]

The fact Goldberg was able to redevelop that physical look despite being 50 is fucking impressive.

[Theo Dious]

Somehow that belt looks less gay on Goldberg.

[Theo Dious]

Does Brock look a bit fat?

I wondered that. His titties looked kinda baggy to me.

[Droford]

The piano rendition of his theme is odd

[KIRA]

LOL Goldberg gonna blow up completely just from this walk.

[Maluco]

Goldberg's music struggling with the ramp

[Locke]

golderb's pyro barely hit him smh...

[Droford]

CAMERA 5 WORST CASE SCENARIO

[Maluco]

I wondered that. His titties looked kinda baggy to me.

Bit of a belly too from first impressions

[Droford]

LOL the network died

[Nicky Fives]

over/under Goldberg jobs in 2:00?

[Dark One]

over/under Goldberg jobs in 2:00?

Over.

Because I'm crazy.

[Evil Vito]

Pretty sure WWE WANT the fans to be asleep for Taker/Reigns

[DAMN iNATOR]

over/under Goldberg jobs in 2:00?

Under.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: this going to be a quick Lesnar squash ... nevermind

[Locke]

Cole calling a spear a "takedown"

[Theo Dious]

WOAH

[Locke]

best match so far...

[DAMN iNATOR]

Goldberg with the WWE 2K "OMG!" Moment.

[Theo Dious]

And of course Brock is bleeding.

[KIRA]

Goldberg actually said yes to these suplexes shocked

[Emperor Smeat]

Ouch at Goldberg getting whacked in the head from the metal part of the barrier.

[Droford]

my stream is all fucked

[Theo Dious]

Damn this is wild.

[Theo Dious]

Nash's leapfrog was better.

[Emperor Smeat]

Already way better than their Mania XX match.

[Bad News Gertner]

This match has been fantastic

[Maluco]

Loving this tbh. Great spectacle

[Nicky Fives]

I hate when wrestlers wear the same color tights in a match.... drives me insane....

[Evil Vito]

These two have had far more physical exertion than I thought they would in this match.

[Dark One]

That match was exactly what it should have been.

[Savio]

Nice match, I enjoyed it.

[Droford]

well that was pointless

[Locke]

sheesh

[Bad News Gertner]

Lol wow, Lesnar was made to look like a million bucks there. Awesome job.

[Maluco]

Perfect.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Promote Brock from Mayor of Suplex City to President of the United States of Suplex.

[Emperor Smeat]

Universal match was a lot better than I was expecting.

[Nicky Fives]

I am pleasantly surprised. Now Brock needs to take him out with like 5 more after the bell.

[Theo Dious]

Hell yeah.

[KIRA]

Goldbergs wife gonna have to get used to a wheelchair bound husband

[Evil Vito]

Pretty much the perfect way to book those two, especially Goldberg who only has two moves.

[Dark One]

Brock Lesnar should go F5 Goldberg's kid.

[slik]

That match was 10x better than their WMXX match

[Droford]

now we wont see Brock or the Universal title for 4 months

RAW is back to being the KO Show

[Crimson]

Women's match get scrapped?

[DAMN iNATOR]

Good luck following THAT, SD! ladies.

[Ruien]

Alexa Bliss time baby.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Women's match get scrapped?

Think it's next.

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

loved it. Brock's leapfrog over the spear was sick.

Goldberg's spear into the barricade was sick. Way better than usual barricade spots.

[A.J.K]

are we sure they won't do an even up and tie-breaker?

[Locke]

WWE did a good job of keeping brock lesnar away from the belt for two years I guess

[Maluco]

now we wont see Brock or the Universal title for 4 months

RAW is back to being the KO Show

I think he has signed on for more dates this year. Def see him being built for Mr Reigns

[Evil Vito]

ALEXA BLISS A/S/L :heart: :heart: :heart:

[KIRA]

That was surprisingly fun

[Nicky Fives]

This kind of match is the only one where the champion should be out first, where they do not know all the participants.....

[DAMN iNATOR]

GG...Alexa looking even more fine than usual.

[Crimson]

Finally, the people's main event is on

[Maluco]

loved it. Brock's leapfrog over the spear was sick.

Goldberg's spear into the barricade was sick. Way better than usual barricade spots.

It was perfect. It made Goldberg look like a special, once in a life time talent, that even despite that, Brock was still able to overcome.

Booking makes both guys look superhuman going forward.

Great story, well told, in the end

[Droford]

Tatanka

[Nicky Fives]

Tatanka James!

[Crimson]

Why are they going tribal ?

Why are they cutting their music short?

[Triple A]

That match was sweet also

[Dark One]

Ellsworth with gear of the night.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: Not even letting Smackdown women do half their entrance before cutting to the next theme.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Slam Master James new SD! Women's Champion tonight.

[KIRA]

nice

[Ruien]

Samoa Joe... Nope. Ellsworth.... He gets in.

[KIRA]

Ellsworth walks like a blind man

[Savio]

Roman vs Taker has been scrapped and moved to tomorrow.