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Old 01-10-2010, 07:57 PM   #81
Vietnamese Crippler
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Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Vietnamese Crippler puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Hospital Chairman: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant.
Dr. Nick: But I cleaned them with my napkin.

Hospital Chairman: Misuse of the cadavers.
Dr. Nick: I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane.
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Old 01-10-2010, 09:38 PM   #82
toxic rooster
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Heavyweight boxing? Homer, of all the dumb things you've ever done, this one ranks somewhere in the middle.
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Old 01-10-2010, 10:55 PM   #83
Lock Jaw
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(Nelson is punching Drederick Tatum)
Nelson: Waaaaaaaaa Please don't hurt me...
Tatum: You leave me little recourse.
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Old 01-10-2010, 11:02 PM   #84
DaveWadding
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"Does whiskey count as beer?"

"Donuts -- is there anything they CAN'T do?"

"I call the big one Bitey."
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:51 AM   #85
Supreme Olajuwon
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Mr. Burns: Look at him strutting around like he's cock of the walk. Well, let me tell you. Homer Simpson is cock of nothing!
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:40 AM   #86
The Mackem
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The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Marge: Homer, I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table!
Homer: You said the breakfast table.
Marge: It's the same table!

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. I don't wanna snuggle with Max Power!
Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power - You strap yourself in and feel the G's!
Marge: Oh Lord...
Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom! Oh no! I'm taking charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things! The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way??
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Homer: (as town crier) Hear ye, hear ye! What's for breakfast?
Marge: Toast.
Homer: I can't understand thee, Marge.
Marge: (sighs) Ye olde toast.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:56 AM   #87
Supreme Olajuwon
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Hee hee look at this country. U r gay.
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:58 AM   #88
Cool King
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Ms Krabappel: Our demands are very reasonable. By ignoring them, you're selling out these children's futures!

Principal Skinner: Oh come on Edna, we both know that these children HAVE no future!

*School kids gasp*

*Awkward silence*

Principal Skinner: Haha, Prove me wrong kids, prove me wrong.
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:59 AM   #89
Supreme Olajuwon
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Homer: But Marge I was a political prisoner.
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:16 AM   #90
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:28 AM   #91
mitchables
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Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No... he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

-----

Marge: Homer! Come quick! Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!

-----

Hutz: Now Marge, you've come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey.
[sniff] Better cut down there, Smokey! [laughs]
Marge: Mr. Hutz!
Hutz: [excited] Look - he's taking another puff!
Marge: Mr. Hutz! This was all a misunderstanding; I didn't mean to take anything. [Lionel disappointedly drops the smoking monkey in a drawer full of identical critters]
Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

-----

Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage.
Homer: Done!
Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.



A lot of my favourites have been posted already, since I got here uncharacteristically late.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:28 AM   #92
Blitz
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Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:35 PM   #93
Tornado
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"Yes Bart, and in Rand McNally they wear hats on their heads and hamburgers eat people"
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Old 01-11-2010, 02:46 PM   #94
Lock Jaw
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"WHO can prevent forest fires?"-"You have selected 'you', referring to me. This is incorrect. The correct answer is YOU!"
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Old 01-11-2010, 03:37 PM   #95
DaveBrawl
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DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)DaveBrawl got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Marge: This is the most exciting scandal since the Juice was on the loose.

Lisa: The Juice is still on the loose.

Marge: Naaaah!
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:08 PM   #96
toxic rooster
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Stupid Phil Hartman had to go and die
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:10 PM   #97
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"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid!"."
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:12 PM   #98
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Would you look at that, just after you said something about Phil Hartman, I went a posted one of his lines.

Coincidence.
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:21 PM   #99
Supreme Olajuwon
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The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:22 PM   #100
Supreme Olajuwon
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Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out'
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:22 PM   #101
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I honestly didn't even realise until I thought about Phil Hartman's death just before that Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure haven't been on the show in 10 years
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:23 PM   #102
Supreme Olajuwon
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Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:27 PM   #103
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Man versus Nature: The Road to Victory
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:36 PM   #104
loopydate
FIT Challenge Slag People
 
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Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die - and Gladys, the Groovy Mule!
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:39 PM   #105
Supreme Olajuwon
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You might remember me from other such show business funerals as Andre the Giant: We Hardly Knew Ye and Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn a Stooge
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:51 PM   #106
The Destroyer
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Kind of reminded by Supreme's quote there:

Dick Cavett: Let's walk and talk. I, uh, I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.
Homer: Er, can't, I gotta go distract bulls at a rodeo.
Dick: Hey, me too. We can go together.
Homer: Um...no, I'm going a different way than you, Dick.
Dick: Heh heh, your...churlish attitude reminds me of a time I was having dinner with Groucho and --
Homer: Look, you're going to be having dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it.
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:52 PM   #107
Lock Jaw
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"He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk...."-"I CAN SIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!"

"I hate every ape I see... from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee..."
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:59 PM   #108
Cool King
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Beat me to it.

I was just about to post a clip of that, Lock Jaw.
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Old 01-11-2010, 05:09 PM   #109
The Mackem
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The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Listening to 'In the garden of eden' from the show.
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Old 01-11-2010, 05:14 PM   #110
Supreme Olajuwon
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YOU TRADED MY SOUL FOR POGS?!
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Old 01-11-2010, 05:21 PM   #111
Jeritron
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Old 01-11-2010, 07:16 PM   #112
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Kirk Van Houten: It's a door! Use it!

Homer: That's a door?
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Old 01-11-2010, 07:40 PM   #113
Lock Jaw
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Reiner Wolfcastle rules as well!

"Upon closer inspection, these appear to be loafers."

"UP AND AT THEM!"

"Ahhh! My eyes!! The goggles do nothing!!"

To a piece of pie: "Remember when I said I'd eat you last? I LIED."

"Laughing time is over."

"Someone please, give me a job. I lowered my quote to $8 million. I do nude scene, I play nerd. Don't make me punch your throat!"
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:01 PM   #114
Vietnamese Crippler
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Guy: Greetings, good men. Might I trouble you for a drink?
Moe: Oh, get out of here, Homer.
Guy: Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito.
[he gets beaten up and tossed out, unconscious]
Homer: [walks up, looks at Guy] [gasps] Oh my God! This man is my exact
double. [gasps] Oh my God! That dog has a puffy tail!
[he chases it, giggling] Here, Puff! Here, Puff!
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:03 PM   #115
Vietnamese Crippler
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Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Post Office Worker: Okay. What's your first name, Mr. Burns?
Homer: ...I don't know.
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:06 PM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vietnamese Crippler View Post
Guy: Greetings, good men. Might I trouble you for a drink?
Moe: Oh, get out of here, Homer.
Guy: Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito.
[he gets beaten up and tossed out, unconscious]
Homer: [walks up, looks at Guy] [gasps] Oh my God! This man is my exact
double. [gasps] Oh my God! That dog has a puffy tail!
[he chases it, giggling] Here, Puff! Here, Puff!
I was just watching that clip yesterday on YouTube.

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Old 01-11-2010, 08:07 PM   #117
Cool King
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:57 PM   #118
toxic rooster
adjective noun
 
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*Homer building barbecue*

English side...ruined....must use French instructions. Le grill....what the hell is that?
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:55 PM   #119
Savio
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Marge: I really wish you gave that money to the starving children
Homer: They're with god now honey.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:16 PM   #120
Dark-Slicer Diago
The Darkness Has Awoken
 
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Bart: Ah, yeah is Mike there, last name crotch
Moe: Hang on let me check, My Crotch, My Crotch, hey anybody seen My Crotch lately?
(laughter)
Moe: You little PUKE, one of these days I'm gonna catch you.
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