GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat

[Corkscrewed]

My brother came up with this one, and I thought it was pretty hilarious, so credit goes out to him... and Vastardikai.


"Hey baby, can you Suck it, Digga???"

[Nowhere Man]

"If I can be serious for just one moment......nice shoes, wanna f</>uck?"

[Vastardikai]

"Hey-uh, Baby-uh! I'm Just-uh... THAT DAMN GOOD-UH!"

[The Mackem]

"That's right baby S-T-D" *points to his dick three times*

[The Mackem]

Actually thinking about it that's not a very good chat up line :o

[PorkSoda]

Lets go....rest.....in.....peace!

[Azriel]

Stone Cold 3:16 says I will f-ck your ass, or beat it. Take your pick

[c4g2]

Hey babe, I am the Game, wanna play me?

[Goldbird]

If u smell...lalalallalalala....

forget it, i will cook you some steak. :shifty:

[Jonster]

You can't see me




(requires little thought)


:shifty:

[loopydate]

Hi, I'm Sean. Want to go back to my cage?

[OssMan]

You look sooooooooooo good to me.

[Vastardikai]

Hear Me. Feel me...up :shifty:

[Wolverine]

Hey baby just come and see why I'm Just....Too....Sweeeeeeeet

[Disturbed316]

Hey,I got two words for ya....SUCK IT!

*crutch chop*

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Hey baby, come with me, -Insert Name Here- Version 1, and help me create -Insert Name Here- Version 2!</font>

[Nowhere Man]

*Points at drunken blonde in bar*

YOU'RE NEXT!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

^:lol:

Believe me, baby, it's SEVEN FEET LONG... FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS!!!

[Wolverine]

They say you women like it big...that's one of them in-ue-ndos

[Jonster]

Got head?

[Fryza]

"And that's the bottom line.."

[OssMan]

You look soooooo good to me.

[Jonster]

*puts on best deep voice*

Heeeeeeeeeeeello laaaadies

[OssMan]

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH"

[Fryza]

It's Vader time.

[OssMan]

Once I start, AINT NO STOPPIN ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Corkscrewed]

6000 points to Nowhere Man with two gems, though the Goldberg reference just had me bawling. I could totally imagine him doing that! :rofl:

If Triple H was your boss...

[What Would Kevin Do?]

" So honey, let me get this straight. Your boss owns a company that's only purpose is for the employees of the said company it to service him? "

" Basically... We were originally going to be grave diggers, but he quickly realized he doesn't need a staff to bury people."

[laydownlow]

HHH: You're job is to wax my championship strap once every 15 minutes."

Me: "Is that all?"

HHH: "Also make sure there are no boogers in my nose."

Me: "So you mean this is a full time job?"

[Innovator]

HHH: "Around here you have to earn your spot, there are no handouts around here."

Me: "So is this a good time to tell you I'm fu</>cking your daughter?"

HHH: "Son you got Vice President written all over you!"

[Vastardikai]

Me: I got a great idea!

HHH: Tell me about it in an email.

2 days later...

CEO: That was a great idea, Hunter, but tell me, what is that Vastardikai guy doing, I don't see him doing ANYTHING productive...

HHH: Me either, that's why I demoted him to Janitor.

CEO: I smell a raise for you!

[Nowhere Man]

NM: Ummm, Mr. Helmsley, sir, the quarterly reports just came in. Profits are way down, are stocks are plummeting, and buyers just don't care anymore. Most of them are just tired of seeing your face as the main focus of our consulting firm.

HHH: Those buyers are just a bunch of twelve-year-olds on their parents' computers! They've never worked for a consulting firm before, so they have no idea what they want to buy! Anyways, tell Randy the new mail boy that he's being promoted to partner, and the dedicated middle-managers who've been busting their asses for years are all fired. Also, fire anyone whose working habits are different from mine, and GOD DAMMIT, WHERE'S MY COFFEE?!?!

[Disturbed316]

You: Hiya boss

Triple H: I am-uuuuuuh your-uuuuuuuuuh boss-uuuuuuuuuuh

You: I know, thats why I said 'Hiya Boss'

Triple H: Oh-uuuuuuuuh. You-aaaaah got those-uuuuuuh reports-aah Johnston-aaaah?

Johnston: No, because I am tired of doing jobs for you! I QUIT!

Triple H: I'll-aaaah make sure-uuuuuuuuh that you-aaaaaah never work-uuuuuuh in this business-aaaaaaah again-uuuuuuuuh!

[c4g2]

Me: Erm, Mr Helmsley, we have just received reports that Mr Benjamin's company has beaten us in profits consecutively for 2 months... And our water bill has gone up considerably since you installed a fountain in your office and went through 50 bottles of mineral water daily...

HHH: GODDAMNIT GIMME A LINE TO VINCE NOW!

*Vinnie Mac answers*

HHH: Hey daddy, my belt's too tight, and it's losing its shine. Any recommendations?

Vince: Take it off once in a while, Hunter. You can't wear that giant belt without getting a sore waist.

HHH: Fine daddy. Bye!

*Turns to me*

HHH: Ok get Rhyno to get some popcorn for me. Gimme a line to Benjamin's office.

Benjamin: What is it?

HHH: So, you have beaten me twice. You can't play the Game without being burnt, son. I am the Game, you can't beat me. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Benjamin: Crazy parents, can't keep control of their kids. Sean? Get out of that cage and tell me how those crazy prankster kids got my private number...

*fade-out*

[big_bluto]

Bluto *on phone*: Mr HHH, we've got a problem here. Can we have a meeting to get this sorted out?
HHH: We gotta problem? You got a problem!
Bluto: Ummm.....okay then. Can we have a meeting to sort this out?
HHH: When?
Bluto: Last thing on Monday?
HHH: That's the main event!
Bluto: Ummm.....okay then. When?
HHH: You think you're worth a shot at the title? I'm coming over...

5 minutes pass, in walks HHH, 2 goons and an old man.
HHH: I am the game!
Bluto: Hello, Mr HHH, thanks for coming over.
HHH: Get him!
Goons and old guy rush forward and smash you up a bit.
HHH then kneels on you and punches you in the head until you bleed.
Bluto: Oowww! FU</>CK OFF YA FAT HEIFER! That hurts!
HHH: Pay *punch* Your *punch* Dues *punch*.....
Cleaning lady runs into office, picks up a swivel-computer chair and hits goons and old guy on the head, HHH and co leave the office, walking backwards up the corridor, pointing and mouthing silently......

[JT]

*jobs*

[loopydate]

CO-WORKER: Have you taken the report to Mr. Leveque?

ME: No. He hasn't left the watercooler all afternoon. He's just been standing there, filling up a cup, drinking half of it, pouring the other half all over himself, then spitting into the air.

CO-WORKER: Yeah. He wants tech to come up and install a strobe light next to it.

[El Santo]

El Santo: It's all over the news, sir. A rival company is planning a hostile takeover.
HHH: And what-uhhhh company-uhhh would this be-uuuhhhh?!?!
El Santo: Hellwig Incorporated.
HHH: *raises arms in the sky, a la Shawshank Redemption* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Loopy! Great stuff!

Wrestlers' worst nightmares.

[Aussie Skier]

"i just had a dream that I was a crusierweight in the wwe"

[Vastardikai]

*Shawn Gasps. He dreamed that the focus of Raw wasn't on him anymore*

Hunter: Shawn, go back to sleep...

[PorkSoda]

Triple H losing the title for 3 months.

[HankScorpio]

the WWE Writing team

[big_bluto]

Good news, Stephanie is in charge of your push!

You'll have a string of matches against Shane McMahon where he'll put you over, and then HHH has hinted that he'll job to you cleanly for the WWE Title.

[big_bluto]

Brock Lesnar wants to see you about posting stuff on the internet!

[big_bluto]

Big Show has fainted in the shower and shat himself.
Give me a hand picking him up or your in a string of matches with Bob Holly!

[Azriel]

HHH jobs to Eugene

[Corkscrewed]

-10000000 points to Big Bluto for totally ignoring the rules about double/triple posting. That and your three replies were side splittingly hilarious. :p


If JR ran for President of the United States...

[Corkscrewed]

I'd also like to remind people that you're encouraged to "act out" the scenes, not just list an example, since that's just boring.

Be funny! ;)

[OssMan]

JR: The answer to America's debt is.................Barbeque Sauce!

Reporter: But Jim, how would barbeque sauce pay off America's debt?

JR: Well the current president, Thomas E. Christopher has led America into debt, and BAH GAWD the American debt is overwhelming, through hellfire and brimstone! The debt of America is in the multi trillions, and business is sure picking up! If you elect me for president, i will LITERALLY BREAK THE DEBT IN HALF!

[Corkscrewed]

^ ROFLMAO!!! That's what I'm talking about!!! :lol: :y: :y:

[Jonster]

Reporter: JR, what's your policies on terrorism?

JR: BAH GAWD! Terrorism, TERRORISM, Stop the match, STOPTHEGODAMNEDMATCH. The countries literally broken in half, BAH GAWD! Train wreck. STUNNER on bin Laden, STUNNER! STUNNER!! I'll whip him like a government mule BAH GAWD!

[PorkSoda]

Reporter: So Jim...what do you think of Saddam Huissen being captured by the USA?

Jim Ross: Damn that Saddam Hussein, damn him straight to hell! I think USA should stomp him like a government mule and then later on he can go out and walk in front of a damned truck! I'll tell you, USA will put an Ankle lock on Hussein, and hopefully they will break the damn ankle, and you can tell, when Saddam was captured, 18 million fans were chanting "Smelly! Smelly" and when you heard that, buisness was about to pick up, and it damn sure did!

Suddenly, "Stone Cold Crazy" plays over the PA as the current president of the USA walks out on the podium, and gives the reporter a stone cold stunner.

Jim Ross: STUNNER! MY GOD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE WAS BROKEN IN HALF!

Bush picks up the reporter and sets up a table, suddenly 5 more reporters come and try to knock off Bush, but Bush powerbombs one threw a table, and Stuns all of them.

Jim Ross: MY GOD, ALL HELL AS BROKEN LOOSE!

[Disturbed316]

Reporter: What do you think of your opposing candidate, Bill Clinton?

JR: CLIN-TON CLIN-TON, HE'S THE TOUGHEST S.O.B IN AMERICAN PRESIDENT HISTORY. HE IS THAT DAMN GOOD, IT WILL BE ONE HELL OF A SLOBERKNOCKER!

Reporter: Thanks JR

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Assman for starting it off with something hilarious.

What jobs Cruiserweights would be doing if they didn't wrestle.

[Azriel]

Ultimo as a janitor, although he'd get fired for slipping too many times on the wet floor

[Disturbed316]

Tajiri would be running a fish and chip shop in britain

[Savio]

Jackie would be a hooker.

[Nowhere Man]

"Have you been injured, fired, or sued without insurance or claims? Here at Ultimo Dragon and Associates, we strive to give our clients the rights, the respect and the dignity that they deserve. We've provided legal counsel and representation for nearly twenty years, and have become the most trusted law firm in the company. Remember, at Ultimo Dragon and Associates, we're here for YOU!"

[OssMan]

Need quad surgery? Come see Dr. Kevin Nash!

[Corkscrewed]

Nowhere Man and AssMan are the only ones who get the spirit of this thread.

ACT IT OUT! DON'T JUST LIST AN ANSWER!!!


Although last time I checked, Nash isn't a Cruiserweight. :p

[Disturbed316]

ok then

'Tajiri's traditional Fish & Chips, now with added Green Mist'

[Champion of Europa]

Kidman: The Insurance Agent.

He's bland enough to fit in..

[Savio]

Chavo, shoe salesman.

[loopydate]

*A mother and her son are at the circus.*

SON: Mommy, I want to see the elephants!
MOM: Okay, honey. I think they're in that tent over there.

*They enter, and sure enough, there's an enormous African elephant inhabiting the tent. A well-built, but a bit undersized man with shaggy black hair is sweeping up after it.*

SON: Hey, weren't you...?
PAUL LONDON: No.

[PureHatred]

**Anytown, USA...a frumpy looking housewif wanders through the cavernous aisles of her oocal Home Depot hardware superstore**

"Excuse me, sonny, can you help me?"

"Sure."
"I need a particular style of molding, but it's way up on that top shelf.."

"No problem..." ***climbs ladder to grab molding, but at the last second changes his mind and launches himself off the ladder and into the bay window display**

"OH MY GOD???!!! ARE YOU OK!!!???"

"Uh..sure. Anything else?"

"I need some particle boards"

**walks over to a stack of boards, then begins smashing them over his head**

"What in God's name are you doing...? Nevermind. I'm doing some painting. I need 'Leaping Fawn' and 'Elegant Ivory.'

**walks over to paint mixer, pours in color combinations, than sudenly takes large hadnfuls and wipes them all over his arms and face. Starts running around Plumbing section, whipping orange apron over his head and screaming "w00t!" Horrified housewige screams and runs out door.**

Store Manager: Damn it, Hardy, how many times have I warned you...that's it, YOU'RE FIRED!!!"

"w00t!"

[El Santo]

*familiar "Good Humor" jingle. Kids run to the street as ice cream truck slows to a stop*

"Here's your chocolate crunch, kid. And here's your strawberry, little girl. And for you, there's... wait a minute, Superman has his own flavor, but Green Lantern doesn't?" *strikes a pose* "Whatsupwithdat?!?!"

[Aussie Skier]

Jeff's sturdy ladders

Note - while ladders can be walked up, company advises disembarking from ladders by jumping from top rung as to help in inducing broken necks. Free prescription painkillers and dope with each ladder sold

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Nowhere Man. ;) 900 points to PureHatred


Things you shouldn't tell Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Corkscrewed]

"Hi there, Steve! I'm your new girlfriend..."

[Lara Emily]

"Sorry Steve all out of Beer, we do have some fine wine spirtzers though"

[c4g2]

Stone Cold enters a gas station.

Austin: Hey madam, any beer sold here?
Madam: Sorry, no beer sold after 1am.
Austin: Look here madam, I want beer and it's the bottom line because I said so!
Madam: Look here sir, it's our store's policy not to do so. I can't help you.
Austin: You're going to be sorry for this madam. I will -
Madam: You're threatening me?
Austin: *pauses* No madam. Look I'm sorry. Why not we'all shake hands and forget about this?
Madam: Ok...
*Handshake, then Austin gives her a stunner*
Austin: *Puts his face close to the woman's face.* SowhathuhnowdoyouregretitmanIamtherattlesnakenoonecanstopmeanditsthebottomlinebecausestonecoldsaidso
*Grabs a six-pack from the store's supply room and clashes beers*

[Mr. Nerfect]

If you're a female, everything.

[big_bluto]

Car park's full, please take your monster truck elsewhere.

[Nowhere Man]

Hey, we've got a brand new heel we want you to put over.

[Azriel]

Austin, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that we are giving you the Heavyweight title at the next PPV. The bad news is you'll be giving it to Hunter the next night.

[loopydate]

What?

[Innovator]

"Hey Steve, you're a real pain in my neck! HAHAHAHA WHAT! pain in my neck! WHAT!"

[El Santo]

Hi, A-Train.... Aw, geez, Steve, I'm sorry.

[Corkscrewed]

"Hello Mr. Austin, I'd like you to sign this new petition to bring back Prohibition."
*THWACK!*
"Ow my eye!"

[Shaggy]

If your his girlfriend then probably " I Love You"

[Disturbed316]

'Mr Austin, your wife is on the line, she is saying something about scratching your truck?'

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>"Steve, we'd like for you to job cleanly to Rene Dupree."</font>

[Mike the Metal Ed]

--EDIT-- Vito kinda beat me to it. :(

[Corkscrewed]

El Santo gets the points for the most original creation. :lol:

Things that would sound really weird if said in a stereotypical macho wrestler's voice.

[James Steele]

sorry if this sucks...

"Does This Dress Make My Ass Look Huge?"

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>*Wrestler 1 punches Wrestler 2 in the face*

Wrestler 1: "Ow! I broke a nail!"</font> :(

[Wolverine]

Taker to Booker T: Talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin anymore

[Azriel]

Goldberg goes to karaoke night:

Goldberg(singing): YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN

[OssMan]

HHH says, "you look soooooooooooooooo good to me"

[Nowhere Man]

Boy oh boy, do I love fudge!!!!

[big_bluto]

Done in the voice of John Bradshaw Layfield:

I am in the best wrestling shape I have been in in years. If we go a half an hour, I will be ready. For those of you fat, out-of-shape Internet wannabes who have never done anything more athletic than play checkers, kiss my ass for doubting me, and realize why you hate me. I was the guy in school who made you do my homework and locked you in your locker.

JBL will deliver Sunday and you can “report” whatever you want, but you will also realize how little influence you have, except to your little nerd friends. How long has it been since you guys that spend all your time reporting on us have been with a woman other than your mother? After all, when I see you in airports hanging out, you are always with guys. You guys don’t have a questionable sexual orientation, do you? Of course, it is 2004, I don’t judge.




No......wait.......wtf?
Is anybody else getting a flashback here?

[El Santo]

"Macho Man" Randy Savage:

"The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an iscoceles triangle, is equal to the square root of the remaining side, ohhhhh yeah!!!"

[Vastardikai]

^ Good job on the Wizard of Oz reference, but it's supposed to be a right triangle (Scarecrow didn't really get a good brain...)

On topic:

Hulk Hogan: Calgon, take me away!

[loopydate]

AH! Toe cramp! Owie owie owie owie owie!

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>"You go girl!" *high five*</font>

[Azriel]

:lol: I love this thread

[El Santo]

^ Good job on the Wizard of Oz reference, but it's supposed to be a right triangle (Scarecrow didn't really get a good brain...)


Yeah, and it also isn't the "square root", but rather the "square". The wizard gypped that poor sack of hay. ;)

[Evil Vito]

Yeah, and it also isn't the "square root", but rather the "square". The wizard gypped that poor sack of hay. ;)

<font color=goldenrod>And even that isn't true.

The square of the longest side of the triangle + the square of one of the shorter sides of the triangle do not = the square of the other shorter side of the triangle</font>

[Nowhere Man]

"Give my regards to Broooooaaaadwayyyyy...."

[Wolverine]

Stone Cold(singing): And my heart will go on annnnnd on....

[loopydate]

Pardon me, but is that Tommy Girl?

[Wolverine]

omg omg is it, could it be OMG IT'S LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

[El Santo]

Pardon me, but is that Tommy Girl?

For some reason, that reminded me of that Hulk Hogan "Old Spice" commercial (which also sounded weird coming out of a wrestler). :)

[Ferocious]

'Oooooooooh Matron'

[loopydate]

For some reason, that reminded me of that Hulk Hogan "Old Spice" commercial (which also sounded weird coming out of a wrestler). :)
"Anything less would be uncivilized." I had totally forgotten about that campaign.

...thanks a lot, Santo!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to everyone! That was great!

If other wrestlers had fought Spiderman in that steel cage.

[Corkscrewed]

"NO FAIR, Hunter! My webbing doesn't stick to glass!"

[loopydate]

"I know you're behind me, Stevie. Spidey-Sense?"

"DAMMIT!"

[James Steele]

"A-Train... The Human Tarantuala!"

[SirLoinSteak]

'You may be Peter Parker, but let me tell you your no match for me, La Parka'

[Corkscrewed]

for some reason ^ made me giggle

[Wolverine]

"Stand Back theres a Hurricaine coming through"

[Ferocious]

"Stay in the Back theres a Hurricane coming through"

[Nowhere Man]

(oh, God, not that again)

[El Santo]

Spidey: "Nice dress. Did your husband buy it for you?"

HBK: "Well, it's just a little something something he got me because I'm jobbing at Bad Bl--... Heeeyyyy!"

[loopydate]

I could have sworn I already posted this, but...

SPIDEY: I know you're back there, Stevie.
STEVIE: Dammit!

[Corkscrewed]

1010 points to SirLoinSteak.

WWE hazing rituals that never quite got over.

[loopydate]

Holly: All right, kid. You're new here, but I'm gonna show you how things work. You and me are gonna have a match, okay? And what's going to happen is that you're going to PIN ME. Got it?
Kid: Thanks, Mister Holly!
Holly: Hehe. Sucker...

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

Bradshaw: "Hey boy! Go to the ladies shower room and get my soap!"

[Wolverine]

Backstage Agents: Alright, we just gotta introduce you to one more

*they go round corner see Kane farther down the hall*

Agents: And that right there is Mr. Isaac Yankem, DDS. go introduce yourself

[Corkscrewed]

"Go on! Give Rhyno a hug!"

[Wolverine]

Johnny Lauritis(sp?): Yer new gimmick kid...the wholloping wallaby

((probably bad spellin throughout lmao))

[Ferocious]

Hey Newbie, My names Lita you may recognise me from many of your training videos such as, 'How to botch selling', 'How to botch offence', 'How to botch T & A', 'How to botch life'.

[Nowhere Man]

Flair: Hey, look, the flight attendant said you were too fat to get on the plane. You're going to have to drive.

Spike Dudley: :wtf: .....yeah, right.....(mumbling)stupid old geezer

(gets on plane)

Flair: Dammit! One of these days, it's got to work on someone!

[OssMan]

"So you mean if I don't break the Spanish announce table during my first PPV match, I'll be jobbing to guys like Hardcore Holly?"

[Nowhere Man]

"Hey, welcome to the Smackdown roster. We look forward to seeing your work in our prestigious Cruiserweight division. To commemorate your arrival in the WWE, we're going to give you this great big honey-baked ham, and slather you with barbecue sauce. Go over to Big Show's locker room and tell him the good news; he'll be reeeeeaaaalllyyy glad to see you!"

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>A-Train: Hey kid, do you want to go over in your first match?

Kid: Yes!

A-Train: Do you want to go over a mammoth like me and make yourself look strong?

Kid: YES!

A-Train: OK then, I just need one favor, you do it for me, and I'll put you over...

Kid: What's that?

A-Train: *hands kid a razor* Shave my back.

Kid: :|........*faints*

----------------

And THAT is the REAL reason why A-Train never puts over newcomers.</font>

[Fryza]

*New kid is fixing his elbow pad, when Triple H walks up to him.*

New Kid: Hey, Mr. Hunter! Oh wow, it's an honour to meet you sir.
Hunter: I'm sure. I just came by by to wish you good luck here in the WWE.
New Kid: Thank you sir!
Hunter: Oh, yeah. Here, take this. *hands kid a bottle*
New Kid: What's this?
Hunter: Just some Kool-Aid...

[Corkscrewed]

3333 pts to Nowhereman, Ass Man, and Big Vito Man.


Failed methods of cheating by a heel.

[loopydate]

Heel: Hey, ref! Watch me kick this guy in the nuts!

Kicks guy in nuts.

Ref: Ring the bell!

[Corkscrewed]

:lol:

[Lara Emily]

MWHAHAHAHAHA and now for my most dastardly trick I'm going to bash the unexpected face over the head with my Chinese Finger Trap. Let me just get it on *CLICK*, oh shit.

*Starts trying to get it off*
*Face turns around laughs and small packages me for the three count*

[Fryza]

*heel grabs chair, as the face comes off the ropes. The face runs right into the chair, and the ref calls the bell.*

Heel: Hey, what was that for?!
Ref: You hit him with the chair!
Heel: ...bollocks, you lie..

[c4g2]

*Heel tries to suplex face into the Spanish announcers' table*

Referee: Ring the bell!

[Corkscrewed]

Cole: "That fiend! He just stole Rey Mysterio's boots off his feet! NOW how is Rey going to wrestle???"

[Corkscrewed]

Actually, I think this scene might be a little weak, so 1000 points to loopy, and onto the next one...


If Gangrel did make a porno...

[Lara Emily]

*Title screen apears: Bloodbath of Ecstacy*

*Starring: G-Rel the poronolicious Vampire Studd with the Fangs of Pleasure*

*A ring of fire appears arround a bedless bedroom, an atractive naked porn girl stands to the side watching, she's blonde and wearing nothing but a white gothic blouse/shirt, as slowly a gothic bed rises up from the fire. Our Star G-Rel lies on it naked, mouth open proudly displaying his Fangs of Pleasure*

*He motions to the girl seductively to lie on the bed. She does so swaying her hips ever so slightly and before you can say Bloodbath G-Rel is on top of who we shall now call Christiana *

G-Rel: I shall now bite you like you've never been bitten before. G-Rel knows where to bite, he is the Fang fuck masta! Get ready for a Bloodbath of esctacy.

*The lights in the bed room go out,you hear feamle moans that sound awfully a lot like the intro to Gangrel's theme song, then the lights in the bedroom flash red as a 70s porn version of the Brood theme song plays. You can make out Gangrel's "fangs" digging into Christiana's crotch, she squirms and writhes with pleasure and pain. G-rel begins to drink the blood that is coming out of the bit marks and he smiles.*

G-Rel: You have the darkest tasting blood, it makes me burn for you. You are now mine.

*He laughs as the credits role*

[El Santo]

Anne Rise, porn actress: "Are you sure you don't mind? I'm in the middle of my period."

Gangrel: *licking fangs* "That sounds... delightful."

*Cue bomp-chikka-bomp music that sounds curiously like the nWo entrance*

[El Santo]

Actually, I think this scene might be a little weak

I don't think it was weak... I just think anything we'd come up with would've totally jobbed to loopy's. :yes:

[Favre4Ever]

Gangrel and Val Venis co-star in: Forbiddon Desire.....a Vampires Tale.

*Camera flashes to the shower where Ryan Shamrock and Val Venis used to take care of business, but Ryan has been replaced with Gangrel*

Val: Helloooooooooo Gangrel!

Gangrel: GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!! (Terrified Tone)

[Esoteric]

Gangrel and Val Venis co-star in: Forbiddon Desire.....a Vampires Tale.

*Camera flashes to the shower where Ryan Shamrock and Val Venis used to take care of business, but Ryan has been replaced with Gangrel*

Val: Helloooooooooo Gangrel!

Gangrel: GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!! (Terrified Tone)
^^^ as funaki begins pops out of no where with his camera to tape he says" OHHHH EVIL.... Val looks into the camera u like that
Funaki replies indeed!!!!!
(a little flashback to a Val Venis thread from before)

[loopydate]

Pro wrestling's "Vampire Warrior" Gangrel in...

Muffy: The Vampire Layer!

[Nowhere Man]

Former wrestler "Vampire Warrior" stars alongside Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson in.....GANGgrel

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts to Hulkamania.

Gotta spread the points around. ;)


If Brooke Hogan was in the WWE...

[Rock Bottom]

JR: BAH GAWD KING MY PYTHON IS HULKING UP
King: ...Puppies?

[Favre4Ever]

Triple H is laying a beating on Tajiri in the middle of the ring, when suddenly.....
*Hulkamaniac music blares over the speakers*
JR: BAH GAWD! Its Hulk Hogan! Only 40 years younger! And a woman!
King: Its Brooke Hogan! PUPPIES!
JR: The Game punches Brooke! NO EFFECT! SHE WAVES THE FINGER! BIIIIG BOOOOOT! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAN LEG DROP BAH GAWD!!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts to Hulkamania


Things you could say about/to wrestling or wrestlers, but not about/to your girlfriend.

[Azriel]

"So, my girlfriend broke up with me today. Last night, we were having sex, and she was not responding to my moves so I stop and say "hey bitch, why won't you sell my moves"

Eh, I tried

[Nowhere Man]

Yeah, she's great and all, but she doesn't really like it when I work stiff.

[PureHatred]

I love her because, no matter who she's out there with, she's willing to lay down and do the job.

[Nowhere Man]

I love her because, no matter who she's out there with, she's willing to lay down and do the job.

NICE :y: :D :y:

[loopydate]

...well, it was a Dusty Finish.

[Favre4Ever]

When we were out there yesterday day, and you did that spot where you dropped to your knees, did you fart? Because i swear to God a heard something.

Meh, decent for the new guy.

[Esoteric]

" say ummm your promo was really weak can we discuss maybe getting you a new gimmick " or " im going to lay the smackdown on u tonight"

[cream]

After outside interference, me and my kliq potatoed her against the post.

[Wolverine]

lets make this match 5 minutes

[c4g2]

Push me, baby!!

:shifty:

[Nowhere Man]

Things were allright between the two of us, until I found out she was a tweener.

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO! That might have been the quote of the night. This scene seems to be working well, so I'll keep it going a little longer.

[tucsonspeed6]

"Remember when you went over on Trish? I think I pulled my groin..."

Sorry. It's the best I've got.

[loopydate]

That is one good-looking bulldog.

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl:

[Nowhere Man]

I think it's safe to say Loopy won that round. I mean, dyamn!

[Corkscrewed]

500000 points to Loopy. 10000 points to Nowhere Man.


World's worst wrestling headlines.

(have fun... :D)

[Nowhere Man]

Triple H, Age 62, Regains World Championship!!!

[HankScorpio]

*link.HHH and Stephanie on beach photos, HHH in a pink thong*

[HankScorpio]

Flair hits top-rope move

(actually I'd read that news story)

[loopydate]

Stone Cold Steve Austin makes Broadway debut
It's a "Bah Gawd Stunner!"

[Azriel]

Jerry "The King" Lawler comes out of the closet

[Nowhere Man]

Randy Orton horribly botches RKO on Chris Benoit: Funeral to be set for Friday.

[Corkscrewed]

^ Oh that's horrible!!! :lol:

[HankScorpio]

Wrestler hurt in ring suffers brain damage
Wrestler N Dinsmore said to be recovering slowly, will face side effects

[HankScorpio]

Flair exposes himself on airplane

Oh, wait, that happened :shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

try not to double post :p (rules)

[HankScorpio]

Whoops, sure thing

[PorkSoda]

Newsbits: Austin parcicipating in AA. X-Pac: Next Terminator?

[Azriel]

RVD GOES COLD TURKEY: "THE TOKER IS OVER"

[Favre4Ever]

From the Weekly World News.......

Aliens seen in front row during Chris Benoits big Wrestlemania win!!!
Could there have been extraterrestrial forces at work?

[big_bluto]

John Bradshaw Layfield Signs 10 Year Contract
WWE Guarantees Main Event Winner For 5 Consecutive Wrestlemania's

:eek: :nono:

[loopydate]

Triple H assassination attempt fails
8-Time World Champion no-sells bullet

[Nowhere Man]

Triple H, Kevin Nash, and Hulk Hogan all donate DNA to create Hybrid Clone Army:
Main event scene said to be 'all set for at least thirty years,' say bookers.

[Nowhere Man]

(sorry for the Double post, but I just had to go with this one)

Brock Lesnar and John Layfield visit Electronic Entertainment Expo;
Face Criminal Charges on 35 counts of manslaughter

[PureHatred]

SPELLING BEE COMPETITOR FAINTS, THEN RECOVERS TO WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!! VINCE MCMAHON SIGNS HIM UP IMMEDIATELY. "IF WE CAN HAVE A WRESTLING CRIPPLE, AND A WRESTLING RETARD, WHY NOT A REAL LIFE WRESTLING NERD!!!!" SAYS VINCE.

[Nowhere Man]

Vince McMahon shown footage of Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior; Committed to local mental hospital
"I can't believe I pushed them!" McMahon says again and again.

(damn, i wish Doctor Gonzo was around now)

[loopydate]

John Layfield tears right bicep
"Well, there goes my offense." -- Layfield

[Nowhere Man]

Large Bold Print Found to Make Sentences Seem More Important

Smaller print underneath often serves as more detailed follow-up

[loopydate]

Large Bold Print Found to Make Sentences Seem More Important

Smaller print underneath often serves as more detailed follow-up
LOL

Does anyone else think this looks like it could be ripped out of a Rampage arcade machine, circa 1988?

[Nowhere Man]

I didn't think about that when I wrote it, but yeah, it does.

[loopydate]

WWE's Rhyno weds in secret ceremony
Misses RAW following honeymoon due to "glue incident"

[loopydate]

Oh, and "TPWW's Drew Carey?"

You're better than that, Corky. You're at least TPWW's Clive Anderson!

[Favre4Ever]

Rikishi convicted of murder of fellow WWE Superstar!

"He went for the Stink Face, and O'Haire went in and didn't come out!" -Startled Bystander

[loopydate]

Vince McMahon arrested for "crimes against wrestling"
Pleads "I'm Vince McMahon, dammit!"

[Xero]

Chris Jericho Wins World Heavyweight Title at House Show!
Stripped immediatly before Raw. "The buyrates for the house show were Jericho's fault" says Vince McMahon, who later awarded the title to Triple H.

[Jonster]

Hurricane warnings are sweeping the nation.
Public advised to stay in the back.



:-\

[loopydate]

Vince McMahon runs out of ideas
"Fuck it, give the title to Paul London" -- McMahon

[Xero]

Goldberg Botches Headlock, Loses Arm

[Jonster]

Lita does a move without botching
Manages to walk to ring without help

[Xero]

(From another thread)

Undertaker Loses Hat, $5000 Reward
Is said to be "lost without the 'lil guy"...

[loopydate]

Shawn Michaels takes job as carpenter
Denies any involvement with screws

[Xero]

WWE Signs No-Limbed Wrestler
To tag with Eugene and the returning Zach Gowen.

[Favre4Ever]

Perry Saturn to be Engaged!!!

Perry and Moppy Saturn to be wed June 29th!!

[Xero]

Mr. McMahon Bans All Moves Except the Pedigree and the Knee Lift
"Now he's gone too far" says a WWE wrestler. "Fine with me" says Triple H.

[Jonster]

Bubba Ray Dudley Regains Stutter
He says he m-m-m-m-missed it

[Favre4Ever]

alright, one more.........

Randy Orton kills major Legend!!!!

Moments after the devastating RKO, Pope John Paul was rushed to the E.R.

[Xero]

Hurricane Kills 50
To be sentenced Thursday.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod><b>A-TRAIN SHAVES</b>

A-Train turns face by FINALLY granting the crowd their wish.</font>

[Xero]

WWE to Introduce the First Bad Blood Championship
Tournament Finals: Shawn Michaels vs. Eddie Guerrero

[Nowhere Man]

WWE Apologizes to Certain Lower-Card Workers for Mistreatment; Others Still Resentful

"What about me?" Says Raven

[Xero]

BAHGAWDSTUNNER!
BAHGAWDSTUNNERBROKENINHALF!

(Looks like Shane left his office for a second :nono:...)

[Corkscrewed]

Oh, and "TPWW's Drew Carey?"

You're better than that, Corky. You're at least TPWW's Clive Anderson!

Drew's the one who's supposed to look like a pig. :shifty:


Nowhere Man's "Large Font" one had my giggling.

[Shadow]

Jeff Hardy set to return to the ring!
Says he won't be doing poetry, drugs, or any bad music.

[Nowhere Man]

Randy "Macho Man" Savage makes appearance on B.E.T.

Funeral to be set for Friday

[c4g2]

STUNNER TRADEMARKED

Jim Ross has been awarded the rights to say "STUNNERBAHGAWDSTUNNERWITHBBQSAUCE". "What a STUNNERBAHGAWDSTUNNERWITHBBQSAUCE result!" Said Jim Ross.

[Azriel]

7 Year Search Continues for Shawn Michaels' Lost Smile

[Wolverine]

RANDY ORTON, LONGEST REIGNING IC CHAMPION IN 7 YEARS
Sources said Rhyno's super glue is found on belt...

[big_bluto]

Goldbird is Vince McMahon
Internet Fans In Mourning, Big Bluto says: "I Knew It"


:shifty:

[c4g2]

Blood supplies fall drastically after Sunday night
Hospitals overwhelmed, Latino people urged to donate...

[Xero]

Vince McMahon Buys Out Every Wrestling Promotion in North America
"Japan, YOUR NEXT!" says Vince.

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl: at trnbuckle!!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Nowhere man and trnbuckle. That was the best round yet!


Creative ways of getting people to tap out.

*waits the RB response*

[Xero]

Benoit: Hey Ric, take a look at the Titantron...
Ric: Oka... AHHH! I QUIT! AHHH!
(We find out later that it was the sex tape)

Meh, that was cheap :-\

[Jonster]

Jericho: I'll give you a dollar if you tap out
Whoever: Deal *taps*



:-\

[Blue Demon]

I heard if you tap the mat 10 times it gives you good luck...





:|

[Xero]

Wrestler #1: Okay, listen, I dont want to hit you with this chair, and you dont WANT me to hit you with this chair... Now just tap out like a good little wrestler and I wont hit you with this chair...

Wrestler #2: No...

**Wrestler #1 Chases Wrestler #2 up the ramp... He goes up to #2 and stares him down... #2 starts to cry**

Wrestler #2: Okay, I quit! :'(

[Innovator]

Innovator and Loose Cannon walk into a room and sit down in front of a TV

Innovator: Hey LC check this out

*plays tape of Randy Orton botching the RKO*

*puts it on a loop*

LC: I TAP! I TAP!

[Nowhere Man]

Innovator and Loose Cannon walk into a room and sit down in front of a TV

Innovator: Hey LC check this out

*plays tape of Randy Orton botching the RKO*

*puts it on a loop*

LC: I TAP! I TAP!

Beat me to it.

[loopydate]

Paint the silhouette of a hand on the canvas and write "Hey, Stacy, gimme five!"

[Nowhere Man]

Wrestler 1: Hey, there's buried treasure underneath the ring! The treasure chest makes a nice hollow sound when you thump it with your hand. I bet you can't find it!

Wrestler 2: Oh yeah? We'll see about that!

[Azriel]

Guy 1: "Hey look, a spider!"

Guy 2: "Kill it! Kill it!"

*taps furiously*

[Anybody Thrilla]

Marry the boss's daughter.

[PorkSoda]

Wrestler Doing Submission: Simon says touch your head. Simon says hold your nose. Simon Says smack your head. Pound the mat! Gotcha! Simon didnt say.

[Xero]

(Match starts, Triple H punches Benoit)
Hebner: RING THE BELL!
The Fink: Here is your winner, by submission, Triple H!
Benoit: Oh that is bull (Triple H's music hits)
JR: BAH GAWD THEY'RE IN CAHOOTS!

[HankScorpio]

Paint the silhouette of a hand on the canvas and write "Hey, Stacy, gimme five!"
LOL Stacy Can't read you'd have to put a Shoe shop voucher on the mat instead

[Wolverine]

Lita: If you don't tap now Kane promised to start singing greatest hit songs
Kane: You are so beautiful....to meeee
Matt Hardy: Oh shit *taps*

[Corkscrewed]

:lol: 1000 points to Wolverine!!


Randy Orton: Politician and/or Diplomat

[Favre4Ever]

**Randy Orton enters the St.AlbaNys morgue, and bows his head in front of the corpse splayed out on the table**

" Mr. Ronald Reagan, i'm here to just give my thanks for all of the good you've done done for this country. You were one of our greatest Presidents! In fact, in some people's eyes, you are considered a legend!"

**takes off his hat**

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Randy Orton....legend killer."

RKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: "BAH GAWD RKO TO REAGAN!"

[Azriel]

:lol: Brilliant!

[Aussie Skier]

Large Bold Print Found to Make Sentences Seem More Important

Smaller print underneath often serves as more detailed follow-up


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

[Nowhere Man]

**Randy Orton enters the St.AlbaNys morgue, and bows his head in front of the corpse splayed out on the table**

" Mr. Ronald Reagan, i'm here to just give my thanks for all of the good you've done done for this country. You were one of our greatest Presidents! In fact, in some people's eyes, you are considered a legend!"

**takes off his hat**

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Randy Orton....legend killer."

RKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: "BAH GAWD RKO TO REAGAN!"

:|

Tacky as hell, dude.

Plus, funeral angles always suck.

[Favre4Ever]

lol i tried, here i'll throw somethin else out.

News Reporter: "....and were receiving reports now that about an hour ago, a man broke into the Legends of Wrestling National Gathering in D.C. Though reports are still being sifted through, it appears that the man sprinted through and delivered some variation of a neckbreaker to over a hundred people. Updates will come as the sitiuation is resolved. And now to Al for Sports...."

[loopydate]

ORTON: Hello, and sorry for interrupting previously-scheduled programming. I just thought the world might like to know that the new Iraqi government is now at 63%. Thank you.

[El Santo]

JR: "... and now, we come to you LIVE at the White House as Randy Orton meets former president of Poland and a LEGEND in the Solidarity Movement, Lech Walesa. They're shaking hands and... Bah GAWD! President Orton has hawked a loogie on Walesa's face! How can he do this! The man is a Nobel Peace Prize Winner! He oversaw the Fall of Communism! That SON OF A BITCH!"

King: "Walesa had it coming to him. You know that man served time in prison?"

JR: "Well yes, under the communist regime, King..."

[Anybody Thrilla]

Randy Orton and his campaign advisor are mingling at some random political get together, sipping cocktails and whatever the fu</>ck.

Orton: So, that guy over there is who I'm running against, huh?

Advisor: That's right, Mr. Orton. He's considered somewhat of a legend around these parts. It'll be a tough victory.

Orton: Legend? Right. Hey listen buddy, I'll be right back.

Randy slowly walks over to his competitor on the other side of the room who has his back turned to him. Suddenly, Randy breaks into a full run and attempts an RKO...but misses. His competitor is startled.

Competitor: Mr. Orton! Exactly what the hell are you doing?

Orton: Uhhh....hey, sorry about that man. I noticed your collar was crooked, thought I'd fix it for you.

Competitor: O....K. Thanks.....I guess.

Orton: No problem. Be seein' ya.

Randy mumbles to himself before backing up and running at his competitor once more...

[Nowhere Man]

Press Conference being held on C-SPAN

Reporter: Mr. Orton, you have very little to no real experience in politics, so what made you decide to run for President?

Orton: Well, my Dad used to be a politician. Plus, I'm a new guy, so everyone will have to love me and come up with excuses for my under-developed skills while my party pushes me to the Oval Office.

Orton fan-boys cheer and scream and cry like teenage girls at a Beatles concert

Reporter: Many critics have pointed out that aside from the heavy support from your political party, you have no true credentials, with the exception of riding on the coat-tails of past successes and more experienced politicians. How do you respond to that?

Orton: That's a blatant lie. I've never copied off of anyone or taken anyone else's trademarks in my life. <s>Reaganomics</s> RK-nomics will be exactly what the country needs to stimulate the economy, and I think everyone agrees that Operation <s>Iraqi</s> RKO Freedom is already a major success.

Orton fan-boys carry on like televangelists during the Second Coming of Christ

Reporter: While it's true that you are making quite a splash in the immediate political scene, most analysts show that most all of your plans won't last in the long run. What is your answer to that?

Orton: Ummmm.....uhhhh....

Ric Flair comes out and finishes the press conference for him, while Orton stands around uselessly and smirking, thus making the Orton fan-boys die of orgasmic joy

[Nowhere Man]

*bump*

Dammit, I hate being a thread-killer!

[Favre4Ever]

i tried, but i just can't top ya nowhere man

[Corkscrewed]

-10000 points to hulkamania. Even though it was a joke... not funny to RKO Ronald Reagan. ;)


If John "Bradshaw" Layfield had been Hitler...

[Rock Bottom]

(Vince secretly approaches Bradshaw backstage)

You know Bradshaw, the "movement" could need a financial advisor.

eroigueriguehroigeroig you edited the scene

Ok... I got nothing for the new one. :shifty: