GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat

[Vastardikai]

Lillian: And his opponent, from the Nick Mondo fanpage at Blockbuster... Sa.....DISTIC!

[D Mac]

Vince: I'd like to introduce our new signing as of today, facing Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania, OSAMA BIN LADEN!

[starfox8500]

Lillian: Making his way to the ring, he is the challenger for the WWE title, JOBBERRRRR McGEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

[starfox8500]

Sorry to bring up an old topic but,

Creative ways to "Tim White" yourself.

So um HHH, I heard you got herpies...

[Y3J]

*New Tough Enough Winner walks into Vince's office*

Vince: Hi there, what's your name?

Aimar: Aimar

Vince: OK, do you have a last name?

Aimar: Phaggot

Vince: Faggot?

Aimar: No, Phaggot with a P-H

Vince: OK, so have you any ideas for the name of your character?

Aimar? *Shrugs shoulder* Aimar Phaggot?

Vince: OK

[Corkscrewed]

What The Dicks can do now, since they've been released.

[ddpBANG]

Beat it

[D Mac]

Porno Director: "Okay, lets bring in our 2 new guys and see what they have hangin."

[Corkscrewed]

Beat it

For the 112th time... make a SCENE. Don't just list something!!!

[Xero]

RD Reynolds: This week's induction.....

[starfox8500]

Chad: Well, I guess it's back to chip and dale's

*Re-attaches breakaway G-String*

[Xero]

Chad: Well, I guess I might as well go back to being Britney Spears' dildo...

*Flashback to two years ago*

Chad (in a sex shop while Britney picks up the box): Heh, heh, all right!

[Y3J]

*The Dicks audition for American Idol*

The Dicks: Voulez vous couche avec moi, c'est sior...

Simon Cowell: OK guys, stop acting like dicks

The Dicks: Cry me a River...

Cowell: I said STOP ACTING LIKE A DICK!!!

[Impact!]

Since this hasnt been updated in a while

How the God & HBK Vs Shane & Vince Mcmahon Match Will Play Out

[Xero]

Shawn: *Looks around*.... AND GOD SAID... LET THERE BE FUNK!

*Shawn rips off his clothes and starts to boogie down in a 70s disco attire, forcing Vince and Shane into submission.*

[Impact!]

*HBK, Vince, and Shane are in the ring about to start the match*

Tony Chimmel: Annnnnnnnnnd now, Introducing Shawn Micheal's partner, from heaven.......GOD

*Silence*










Vince: HA Micheals I told you s.....

ECW

ECW

ECW

*ECW Theme hits the speakers, as Paul Heyman comes out*

[Corkscrewed]

*HBK, Vince, and Shane are in the ring about to start the match*

Tony Chimmel: Annnnnnnnnnd now, Introducing Shawn Micheal's partner, from heaven.......GOD



































BEHOLD THE KING!

THE KING OF KINGS!!!!

Joey Styles: OH MY GAWD it's the GOD..... OF THUNDER THOR!!!!!!!!!

[Xero]

*They're all in the ring and Lillian starts to announce*

Lillian: And his partner.... From Heaven, weighing in at infinity plus one.... GOD!
















"I'm not telling you anything you don't already know!"

*Sean O'Haire's cage lowers and squashes Vince, raises again, Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on Shane, and O'Haire does a Senton out of his cage*

[Impact!]

*Vince and Shane have finally knocked HBK down, and Vince grabs a microphone*

Vince: So Shawn...where's your messiah now?











*BEHOLD YOUR ALMIGHTY GOD*

*Linda comes out with a god mask on*

Vince: :lol: *pins HBK for the three*














What I said what will really happen :shifty:

[D Mac]

Lillian: And introducing the tag team partner...


















































GILL-GOD!

[Skippord]

CHRIS FUCKING SABIN

[Blitz]

The scene is Backlash. Early in the night, a pretape airs showing Vince McMahon being assaulted by several figures dressed in black. Later, JR announces that it will now be a one on one match between Shane and HBK (because no one expects God to show up right?)

Anyways, fast forward to the match. HBK and Shane hit the ring and are ready to fight when suddenly, Joan Osborne's "One Of Us" hits...

JR-"BAHGAWD, IT'S GAWD!!!"

As your standard God figure (White robe, white hair, white beard) makes his way to the ring, Shane jumps Shawn (distracted, of course by the Lord and Saviour making an actual apperance). As Shane works over Shawn, God waits anxiously on the apron until HBK turns the tide, and then makes the hot tag to the Man Upstairs. As Shawn collapses in the corner, the Lord has Shane dead to rights when suddenly...GOD TURNS AROUND AND HITS THE BRONCO BUSTER ON SHAWN!!! God and Shane beat down Michaels for a bit, but HBK makes a comeback, and manages to toss Shane and the False Idol to the outside.

Just when Shawn thinks he's safe, though, Motorhead hits, and out comes Triple H, wearing a crown of thorns and carrying, instead of his usual sledge hammer, a giant wooden cross! Shawn motions for him to bring it on, and Hunter smirks and gestures to the back...12 figures in hooded white robes emerge, and follow the King of Kings to the ring, where they overpower and destroy Michaels.

JR-"BAHGAWD, THE 12 APOSTLES AND JESUS CHRIST ARE WHIPPIN' HBK LIKE A GUVERMENT MULE!!!!!11"

With Michaels finally down for the count. God gets up off the floor and grabs a mic. As the Apostles restrain Michaels, they remove their hoods to reveal the Spirit Squad, Chris Masters, Danny Basham, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Val Venis, Snitsky, and Shelton Benjamin , God leans over, and starts tearing at his beard and hair, finally revealing....VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!!

Vince-"IT WAS ME, MICHAELS!!!! WHERE'S YOUR MESSIAH NOW?!?!"

Just as the Corporate Church is about to deliver the final blow, the arena goes dark, and music begins to play...It's "Antichrist Superstar" by Marilyn Manson...

At the top of the ramp, bathed in hellish red lights and accompanied by the Sinister Minister, it's THE DEVIL HIMSELF! Lucifer runs to the ring and begins taking out Apostles (naturally, using a ton of banned moves such as a double underhook piledriver and a vertebraker). HBK gets his wind back and joins the fight. The ring is cleared, and all that's left is Michaels and the Archfiend. They stare each other down as the show ends...

JR-"BAHGAWD, HBK HAS JUST ALLIED WITH SATAN HIMSELF AND TAKEN OUT GOD!!!! WHAT WILL COME OF THIS?? TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW!!! BBQSAUCESTUNNER!!!"

[Cuzziebro]

That is pure magic. If only that could happen.

[Cuzziebro]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Blitz again.

OMFG

[starfox8500]

HOW WWE WILL KILL ECW

[Xero]

Heyman: AND THE NEWEST MEMBER OF ECW.....






























RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPA DUDES!

Heyman: JOHN CENA!

[Corkscrewed]

The winner and NEW ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...


The zommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[Drakul]

Voice Over: You loved him as the suicidal, genocidal, homicidal Sabu. Now get ready to hate him as he threatens your sexuality as THE GENDER BENDER!

Sabu in a Tutu: I'm a real toughie!

[Xero]

Joey Styles: OH MY GAWWD! NICK MONDO JUST HIT THE BLOCKBUSTER ON NEW JACK!

[rob11]

Vince hands WWE creative the ECW script.

[Skippord]

Eugene vs The Zombie BARBED WIRE MATCH FOR THE ECW TITLE

[Impact!]

Vince: Ok team, our debut ECW show didnt go so well. So what we're gonna do is make it like the outlaw place its supposed to be. the first thing we'll do is hold it in underground venues like fight club, and we also wont tell the fans, and the camera crew will be one man. I'm a freakin genius.

[Cuzziebro]

Vince: I know Paul lets have WWE invade ECW on a regular basis.
Heyman: :wtf:

[Xero]

Heyman: Hey! I know! Let's switch Vito to ECW, rehire Orlando Jordan and Chyna and start a Bisexual stable!

(Three weeks later...)

Heyman: Well, I was bound to have a bad idea one day. Better now than when I jump to TNA.........

Vince (pulls out iPod ear buds): Huh?

Heyman: Oh, uh, I said I wanted to go to a titty bar. :shifty:

Vince: Oh... Well, have fun!

Heyman: :shifty:

[FourFifty]

Back by popular demand...
uhhh... make that one dude....

Wrestler conversations
in kayfabe!

[Jaton]

wtf, I should get money for this. Or at least rep. :shifty:

[PorkSoda]

The English win the world cup.

JR: England are the champions! England! England! England! England!

[Jaton]

BAH GAWD WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER!

[Corkscrewed]

Wow, never really noticed this went past 50 pages. :lol:

Well, lets revive it for 2007.

IF YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE GAME, READ THE RULES ON PAGE 1


How Triple H's next comeback will happen.

[ChiefStubbs]

Lillian Garcia: And introducing to you next, from a hospital bed in Conneticut, weighing in at 190 pounds, the anorexic hospitalized Triple H!

[FourFifty]

Zach Gowen: And there is no one, I said no one in this industry who has what it takes to get in the ring with me!

*It's time to play the game.... TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!*

[Xero]

*John Cena pins Shawn Michaels in the Mania main event*

JR: BAHGAWD! CENA HAS WON! CENA IS STILL THE WWE CHA-

*King of Kings hits*

JR: BAHGAWD! IT'S THE GAME! IT'S THE GAME!

*Triple H hobbles down to the ring on crutches, rolls in, rolls up Cena in a weak-looking roll up and is declared the champion*

JR: BAHGAWD! CENA HAS BEEN HOGANIZED!

[Xero]

*Marks out* for scenes from a hat! :love:

[Corkscrewed]

^^ No, Xero, you're supposed to post something comedically illogical that can't actually happen.

[PorkSoda]

Triple H: I am backuhhhhh. And at the next pppppp-pay-ppppay---pay per view, I am going to wah....wahhh...wwwwahwahwah....win the world ttttttit...titttt....title. Because I am Thhhhhat damn gooo...g...ggggooo....good!

[DAMN iNATOR]

HHH: Hey, Shawn...c-c-can ya hand me my crutches? I go out next to address my fans.

HBK: Sure...here ya go...(hands him one crutch, then whacks HHH in both quads, tearing both, then hits him in both biceps, tearing them also, and leaving HHH out of action for 2½ years while single-handedly keeping DX on life support by beating Edge and Orton week after week on RAW in the same dull way.)

J.R.: Mahgawd! Another concerto for Orton! Somebody's gotta stop this or somebody's gonna get seriously hurt here, King!

King: Uh...I...think it's a little late for that, J.R.:roll:

J.R.: What're you talking about, King?

King: Ah, screw this. I Quit, I'm gonna go lay down in traffic on New York's 5th Avenue.

***end***

[Xero]

Triple H: After these 6 months of rehab, I've come to the realization that I cannot go on anymore. I've had a good run, but I must admit, a lot of those runs were uncalled for, and I shouldn't have held everyone I did down.

JR (whispering): What the hell is this?

King (whispering back): I don't know...

Triple H: I am retiring. But before I do, I'd like to say I'm sorry to the following people... Chris Jericho, whose career I destroyed. Vince McMahon, for all those mind-altering drugs I've slipped him. Shawn Michaels, for making him go against the religion he so loves. I am truly sorry.

*Triple H walks away*

Illogical enough for you?

[Corkscrewed]

^ :rofl: That'll do. 1000 pts to Xero. ;)

[Corkscrewed]

Rejected new [nick]names for Monty Brown (aka Marquis Cor Von).

[Skippord]

The Alpha Male

Baron von Neigro

[ChiefStubbs]

Random Guy: Vince, we should name Monty Brown, Pounce the Linebacker.
Vince: I thought he was a golfer.

[Xero]

Vince: Monty, we're changing your name again. And your gimmick.

Monty: To what?

Vince: Well, your name will be "Brown Monty", and you will come out to "Old Man River" and you'll be a racist southerner.

Monty: But...

Vince: And you'll be from Orlando, Florida.

Monty: *Sigh*

Vince: AND your manager will be "Tracy Newman Ascot".

Monty: Okay, now you're just pulling my leg.

Vince: Do I look like I have a joking expression on my face?

[Skippord]

Vince: Alright so Monty we think your name is going to give that TNA thing free publicity so we'll be changing it

Monty: To what

Vince: "The Token Male" Jim Crow and we'll also be changing where you are from

Monty: Where?

Vince: A plantation in South Carolina also we'll be changing you're theme music as well

Monty: To what :mad:

Vince: Mammy

Monty: I quit

[Impact!]

*Inside Vinces Office*

Vince: Alright Monty, this is the WWE, and since we don't want to give those people any free publicity.

Monty: I really don't know if my name would be giving TNA any free publi...

Vince: TNA! What in the name of Vincent Kennedy...

Ken Kennedy: ...Kennedy

Vince: ...McMahon is TNA? What are you on about. Crazy black person

Monty: ...Wait was that racist?...and ah who do you think would be getting free publicity from you for keeping my name intact.

Vince: What? Are you an idiot, The Simpsons. Oh yes I've watched it before you just changed your name from montgomery Burns to Monty Burns.

Monty: ...What...

Vince: So with that in mind your new name is Conand'o El Brian...The Nomadic Male.

Monty: ...I quit






PERIOD!

[FourFifty]

Vince: Mr. Brown, we're scrapping your "Alpha Male" gimmick. We can't allow people to hear of this undeground compnay TNA.

Monty: I'm not to happy about that, but what gimmick do you have in mind.

Vince: You're going to be "The King Of Old School" Monty Brown.

Monty: "The King Of Old School"? Isn't that Steve Corino's gimmick?

Vince: ................<i>*Vince picks up his phone*</i> Get the legal dept on the phone.

[Corkscrewed]

I think I gave a thousand points to Impact.

What goes on inside the heads of writers during writing meetings...


(might have done this before but it's still a good one)

[Corkscrewed]

(I'll get the obvious one out of the way..)



























































































































....

[Xero]

Let's see what I have to do today...

Do Laundry
Apologize to Stephanie
Find computer
Apologize to Stephanie via MSN
Go to TPWW
Steal Alienoid's ideas
Buy Suny D.
Replace "Doug Basham" with "Chris Masters"
Apologize to Stephanie via e-Mail
Propose idea to Vince

[ChiefStubbs]

Writer: Hey, wouldn't it be great if we pushed Cena again?
Writer from Attitude Era: Isn't he kinda boring?
Vince: You're FIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEDDDDD!

[Chuck Jones]

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Can i possibly suggest "Great Khali: What he is really saying in his promos" for the next scene?

[Xero]

Russo: BOOBIES! SEX! DICKS! God! BOOBIES! VIAGRA! VIOLENCE!

[rob11]

Crab People: Yes! It is working! Soon they won't be any smark fans left! HAHAHA

[Xero]

Writer: Bad writers... Bad writers... Write bad storylines, Vince likes them anyway! Bad writers, bad writers...

[FourFifty]

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMNIT!

[Impact!]

Writer: I am evil Russo, I am evil Russo, I am evil Russo

[FourFifty]

Writer 1: Hey, you know what I miss?

Writer 2: No, aptly named Writer 1, I don't know, what do you miss?

Writer 1: I miss the good old days when

ALELIEAAALIEAYAAAAIEALAAAAA!!!

Writer 2: What the hell was that???

Writer 1: I don't know. Wanna go get drunk?

Writer 2: Sure!

[Skippord]

Writer:
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

[Impact!]

Writer 1: *Thinking to himself* hmm good idea...come on good idea...













I KNOW WE'LL TURN JOHN CENA HEEL AND BRING BACK HIS OLD PERSO-ALYIAHHAAAIAYAAAAIAIYAYAIAAAAAAAH-Now what was that thought again...

Vince: *thinking to himself* I wonder what Hulk Hogan meant when he said he implanted hassan machines into all my writers...eh who cares I'M A BILLIONAIRE DAMMIT

[Corkscrewed]

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMNIT!

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

1000 pts



What the Great Khali is really saying.

[Xero]

First english is language. No have idea saying I am. Though dogs swollen bats are gruesome, really I had wish word of books.

[ChiefStubbs]

Get me a fucking sandwich.

[Corkscrewed]

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!!!

[Disturbed316]

Actually, I'm only 5"6. I've got a small number of minitures in my trousers

[Xero]

This week's "Khali's Book of the Week" is a fond trip down memory lane, full of adventure, baseball, and a little bit of Romance!

[Corkscrewed]

"THAT DAMNED RHYNO GLUED MY VOICE BOX SHUT AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO ENUNCIATE EVER SINCE!!!"

[Inadequacy]

"MARIA! WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS PRETTY AS THE MIZ?!"

[Chuck Jones]

That John Cena is a great opponent for me. I look forward to having a great competitive match with him. May the best man win.

[Xero]

Cena, I am going to humble you! I am going to break your fucking back, make you humble and then FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!

[FourFifty]

"THAT DAMNED RHYNO GLUED MY VOICE BOX SHUT AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO ENUNCIATE EVER SINCE!!!"

Oh man, that takes me back.....



"Ten bucks says I can throw a midget at Sean O'Haire's cage!"

[Xero]

Oh man, that takes me back.....



"Ten bucks says I can throw a midget at Sean O'Haire's cage!"
BAHGAWD! X PAC HAS ENTERED THE STATE! AND WE ALREADY FEEL HIS GRAVITATIONAL SUCK!

I miss captions. :(

[rob11]

BAHGAWD! X PAC HAS ENTERED THE STATE! AND WE ALREADY FEEL HIS GRAVITATIONAL SUCK!

I miss captions. :(
I just need someone on my shoulders and we can finally release Sean O'Haire from his cage!

[Chuck Jones]

Todd Grisham: Hey! Great Khali!
Khali: Yeah, Todd Grisham?
Todd Grisham: Hey! Ever hear of a cat gopher?
Khali: Cat gopher? What's a cat gopher?
Todd: Cat go for $6 if I put MSG on it!
[audience laughs as Todd leaves]
Khali: Seriously, is this the only part of the sketch I'm in? I spent an hour and fifteen minutes in traffic getting here. I mean, granted, I was in a Benz, but this is horse shit! Oh, fuck you! You know what? I'm going home! Yeah, you can kiss my ass! I was in "The Longest Yard," motherfucker!

Rep for reference.

[El Fangel]

Khali : Vince can I talk sometime
Vince: When did you learn how to do that? And also we have to cut your moveset, its just too many moves, you will now stand there, and wait until your opponent falls down, don't bother pinning them, that takes too long also, so you will just win once they are on the mat, or lose if they knock you down ok.

[Impact!]

Khali: And so I bent her over! and then fucked her in the ass.
Daivari: IN THE ASS, IN THE ASS, IN THE ASSSSS

[Corkscrewed]

Gotta love the Iron Shiek references. :lol:

Erm... Xero and Impact get the points. :)


Waht AJ Styles would be like at a Richard Simmons Convention

[Impact!]

AJ: ...I thought this was the Styles convention, not the Alternative Styles Convention :mad:

[Impact!]

or for a more descriptive scene...

*AJ Styles exit's the TNA limo (aka a soccer mums van) and enters the convention*

AJ: *thinking to himself* Hmm wonder who this Richard Simmons guy is...and why Alex Shelley wanted me to come here.

*AJ suddenly notices Chris Sabin seemingly reaching out for a rack of pink clothes, while being half conceiled by another rack of clothes*

AJ: Ah hey Sabin, Shelley tell you to come here to?

Sabin: *grunts*

AJ: Ah ok, yeah me to...so um, why are you reaching for that rack of pink clothes?

Sabin: *grunts*

AJ: Ah yeah...riiight, well what are you doing in a rack of clothes anyway?

*AJ pushes away some of the clothes and suddenly see's tpww's own Skippord going at Sabin from behind*

AJ: ....oh shit...GAY COMMUNITY

*Pelee kick to Sabin*

*Dropkick to Skippord*

*Later*

News Announcer: And in other news the the convention centre where Richards Simmons was holding a Richard Simmons Convention was burnt down today by TNA wrestler AJ Styles, when asked for a comment all AJ could say was, and I quote, "I can't believe I've gone with him 1 on 1 and never known..."

Police suspect that Mr. Styles did this after his lover cheated on him with another man, now we go live to the centre with our reporter Greg Fairly.

*Back at the convention centre*

AJ Styles (in distance): I AIN'T FUCKING GAY!

Greg: It would appear that the onlookers are getting abit roudy, so the police are taking AJ Styles away, more on this as we get it.

Onlookers: THAT WAS AWESOME *Clap Clap Clap Clap* THAT WAS AWESOME

LET'S GO AJ

LET'S GO PO-LEESE

LET'S GO AJ

LET'S GO PO-LEESE

[Xero]

*AJ goes up for an autograph*

AJ: Make it out to AJ Sty-NICK!?

Eugene: Uh... No! I AM NOT NICK! I AM RICHARD SIMMONS! :shifty:

AJ: NICK! IT'S ME! AJ!

Eugene (whisper): Shut up, this is my day job and the last thing I need is to lose it.

[El Fangel]

AJ: I like to work it, work it. I like to work it, work it.
Simmons: Oh AJ I love when you work it.

[FourFifty]

<b>AJ:</b> <i>*points at simmons*</i> You're a homo!
<b>Simmons:</b> So?

[Impact!]

*AJ is in line waiting to get Richard Simmons autograph, the person in front of him gets their photo signed, so AJ steps up to the table*

Richard: Hiiiiiiii, what would you like me to sign?

AJ: Gay Community?

Richard: Ok I'll just sign you're jacket. Is that ok?

AJ: ...Gay community

Richard: oooh I see, well aren't you just a special little man. Now who should I make this out to?

AJ: Gay. Community.

Richard: Ah riiiiiiight.... *Richard signs AJ's Jacket*

AJ: Gay...Community

Richard: Ah sir could you please move along so the other people waiting can get autographs.

AJ: FUCKING GAY COMMUNITY

[Xero]

AJ: Uh... This isn't the Playboy convention.

Security Guard: That's next door.

AJ: Oh.... I'm not gay ya know.

Guard: ....k...

AJ: Not one bit!

Guard: ...Good for you...

AJ: I mean, if I WERE gay, I wouldn't be hitting on a hunk like yourself. You're much too manly for me.... If I were gay, I mean.

Guard: ...Are you hitting on me?

AJ: Uh... No...

Simmons: AJ! MY BOY TOY! HOW ARE YOU!?

AJ: Uh... :$

*AJ runs out crying*

AJ: DAMN YOU GAY COMMUNITY! DAMN YOOOOUUUU!

[Gone Mad]

AJ: Nice outfits, guys, but I don't have that hair so I think you should just go back and--- wait... this ISN'T the AJ convention, is it?

Richard Simmons: Well, this sure AIN'T the Ron Simmons convention, honey...

* somewhere, a faint DAMN could be heard... *

...Nice pants, btw. They look FABBBOOLOUUUS!! OOH! *begins to sweat insanely*

AJ: Yeah, I think-- I'm gonna be sick... lousy GAY COMMUNITY... *throws up in his little vest*

Don West: OMG AJ JUST THREW UP IN HIS LITTLE VEST!! I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE, SO EXCITING WOOOOWWW!!! LOOK, A PEN!!!

[Corkscrewed]

AJ: OH MY GAWD!! Isaiah Washington from Grey's Anatomy????


IW: WHOA!! AJ Styles from TNA Wrestling???







































IW: You're a faggot.

[Corkscrewed]

Okay, 1000 pts to me. :shifty:


Funny ways to get eliminated in the Royal Rumble.

[Inadequacy]

Duh! Hiding in Visceras pants!

Or having Little Bastard bust up through the middle of the ring and pulling you down into his leprechaun paradise.

[FourFifty]

For the record, this deals with more than one person getting eliminated.

*Somehow all 30 wrestlers make it in the ring without anyone getting tossed over the rop, and now, the play by play*

JR: BAHGAWD STUNNEERERRER!!!!!

The King: I know what you're saying! If a Raw guy wins they'll be able to go for the spinny title at WrestleMania 23! But who'll it be? John Cena or Umaga?

*All of the Raw Guys look at each other, laugh, and hop over the top rope*

Tazz: I've been in the ring with all of these wrestlers, and Styles, all I gots to say is one of these men will either go up aginst Test or Bobby Lashley!

Joey: Oh My God!

*All of the ECW wrestlers look at each other, laugh, and hop over the top rope*

Cole: Well JBL it looks like a SmackDown superstar will win this one for sure! Go SmackDown! Will it be Finlay, Chris Beniot, The Miz, Vito...

*JBL pulls out a gun and shoots Cole in the face*

JBL: Don't ever suggest the Vito will win this one.

[Corkscrewed]

JR: Bah gawd Triple H's invisible crucifix strikes again!!!



(since we're resurrecting old caption gags anyway...)

[rob11]

JR: Bah gawd Triple H's invisible crucifix strikes again!!!



(since we're resurrecting old caption gags anyway...)
Wrestler is standing there and suddenly gets thrown over the top rope by an invisible force...
JR:By Gawd! Stevie Richards actually gets an elimination!

[Xero]

Vince: First ECW talent out gets a main event run on RAW!

*Everyone, who all happen to be in ECW, jump out, the first one being...*

CM Punk: I DID IT! I DID IT!

Vince: ... Second one out.

Holly: WOO!

[FourFifty]

*HBK, who made history by entering the Royal Rumble at number -36, is in the ring, with one more person left. The countdown to the lucky man who got number 30 ends....*

Your reality is about to get CHECKED!!!!!

HBK: The Miz? Oh My God, you're kidding me, right? The Miz?

*The stage remains empty while The Miz's theme music plays, as HBK eyes the ramp, but then The Miz's voice takes over the PA System*

The Miz: This is the story of how The Miz came to the Royal Rumble, and took out the hometown hero! HOO-RAH!!!!

*HBK is eyeing the ramp, waiting for The Miz, while a cage gets lowered into the middle of the ring, behind HBK's back. The cage door swings open and The Miz runs out of it, dumping HBK over the top rope!*

HBK: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! YOU'RE NOT SEAN O'HAIRE!!!!!!!

The Miz: He's got promoted to cleaning the bathrooms, HOO-RAH!

*Meanwhile, in the restrooms of the arena*

Sean O'Haire: The writers are out of there minds, and I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

Ultmio Dragon: *From the stall* Keep it down! I'm trying to take a crap!

Sean O'Haire: Don't trip over your cape on the way out, buddy.

[rob11]

:lol: :lol:

[FourFifty]

HOO-RAH!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts to rob11.


Quirky comments from announcers and/or commentators.
(this one's intended to have shorter responses)

[Corkscrewed]

KING: There's a Little Bastard under the table! :D

[Impact!]

JBL: After that diva's match it's not just my stock that's rising.

[Corkscrewed]

KING: Mae Young?!?! AHHHH!!! The goggles! They do nothing!!!!!

[rob11]

Yay, I actually won!



JR: By Gawd, after the way The Great Khali came over here, I almost crapped my pants!
King :shifty: Yeah almost...

[ChiefStubbs]

JBL: (about Ashley Massaro) I been in the ring with him, Michael, and I know what it's like to get my ass kicked by his painful moves!
Michael: Uhhh, that's Ashley.
JBL: Yeah, so? That guy is humongous!

[Xero]

*Edge hits a spinning neck breaker.*

JR: Wow, never in my 30 years as a professional wrestling announcer have I ever seen a more perfectly executed spinning neck breaker!

[PorkSoda]

Edge hits the DDT.

JR: Rock Bottom!

[FourFifty]

JR: He better hope that chair is made outta chocolate, because he just took a bite out of it!

[El Fangel]

Match between Edge w/Lita and Orton
Edge Spears Orton

JR: What a GORE.GORE,GORE By Goldberg onto Shawn Micheals
KING: You botched that worse then Lita
JR: Who
KING: PUPPIES
JR: Chloe?
KING: *ugh*

[Shadow]

JR: God damn that HHH! What a god damn bastard!

*after HHH has spent the day reading to children*

[Xero]

JR: Viscera is bigger than Virgil at a comic convention!

[Inadequacy]

*Johnny Nitro hits a corkscrew moonsault*

JR: BAH GAWD! An awesome Senton Bomb from Joey Mercury! He just...wait, did I just senton bomb from Mercury? I need to get off the crack.

[Splaya]

From the SD vs Raw 2007 video game

*King Booker hits Batista with a chair*

JR: BAWGAWD King, It's the Stone Cold Stunner.

[rob11]

Vince walks out to deliver some random promo about Donald Trump...

JR: BY GAWD, VINCE IS PISSED AT THE DONALD! WHAT DO YOU THINK KING?
King:zzzzzzzzzzzz, ohhh uhhhh, PUPPIES!

[Xero]

From one of the SmackDown! Games...

*Bradshaw hits the Clothesline from Hell*

Tazz: Clothesline from hell. :|

[Inadequacy]

I love how pretty much all of these are about JR (damn you Xero Limit)

King: Boy JR, I sure do love Mickie's puppies
JR: Yeah, but they got nothin' on mine!

[Xero]

Michael Cole: OH MY GOD! There's the THIRD German Suplex!

JBL: That reminds me, my ban from Germany is up next week...

[Corkscrewed]

Strange injuries to sell in a match.

[El Fangel]

*Triple H Returns
JR: Well there is one good thing about this King, Chris Jericho cannot tear another Quad.

*During Match HHH Breaks arm*
JR: Oh bah gwad, he twisted his knee pretty bad.

[Vastardikai]

Cole: After that Ass Punch by Beef Wellington, it seems like Brian Kendrick is completely incapable of bending over!

JBL: *Weeps*

[Nowhere Man]

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!! Rob Van Dam's tax return papers are out of order! Now he'll never be able to get his deductables right!

[FourFifty]

Let's take a page from real life for this...

<i>*1/31/99, The Rock vs Mankind, Empty Arena Match, The Rock throws salsa in Mankind's eyes*</i>

The Rock: That's Weak sauce, you baby!

<i>*And yet Foley still sold it...*</i>

[Corkscrewed]

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!! Rob Van Dam's tax return papers are out of order! Now he'll never be able to get his deductables right!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Now THAT's the sort of random but priceless one liners I'm looking for in this game! :lol:


















Continue. :)

[Shadow]

King: Oh my god JR! We've got like 16 beautiful women here and I'm here in the ring and...*King looks down at his crotch*

JR: I think King's penis has blown up.

[rob11]

5 hours after Diva's match...

JR: King, I really think you should consult a doctor...

[Xero]

JR: You know King, it's times like this I think about my first pair of short shorts.

Edit: Just realized this had ended. :$

[FourFifty]

JR: Bah Gawd! Ric Flair just put Zach Gowen in the Figure Four!
King: :wtf:?

[rob11]

JR: Bah Gawd! Ric Flair just put Zach Gowen in the Figure Four!
King: :wtf:?
Kinda wrong but :rofl:

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts to FourFifty and Nowhere Man. :lol: That was great.


New gimmicks for Bobby Lashley

[Corkscrewed]

(getting the obvious one out of the way)


LASHLEY: "Does Bobby Lashley have to choke a bitch??"

[Jeritron]

Bobby Smashley. After losing the ECW title cleanly to The Miz, Lashley hits the bottle hard. On his way to the arena he passes out on the wheel and kills a busload of children. His troubles continue as he consistently has mood swings during matches, no shows matches, and is often times arrested for pulbic intoxication during matches.

[Xero]

*Brock Lesnar's music hits*

Tazz: OH MY GOD JOEY! HERE COMES THE PAIN!?

*Lashley comes out*

Lashley: I LOVE EN EF EL! I GO PLAY FOOTBALL FOR EN EF EL! SCREW YOU GUYS!

*Lashley walks out, never to be seen again.*

[Disturbed316]

Bobby Lashley: The funny black guy on a impromptue comedy show

http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/b/bobbylashley/03.jpg

Becomes


http://starbulletin.com/2002/12/27/features/artfa.jpg

[Xero]

Third reference but I don't care.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g122/sandman3g/Wrestling/bobbybrady.jpg

[Disturbed316]

lol

[Corkscrewed]

roflmao

[Jeritron]

Vince McMahon loves Bobby Lashley, because he makes John Cena look like Malcolm X

[Corkscrewed]

If regular, everyday events were overhyped, WWE-style.

[El Fangel]

JR: OMG King with only 2 minutes left, Fallen Angel waked up and shuts off his alarm, this is by far the most dangerous thing I have ever called, there he goes, he's picking out clothes, which ones will he choose, can he face the losers tomorrow, and bah gawd king there he goes into the shower, thats it folks he is cleaning himself getting ready for class, can you believe this, in all my years on commentary I have never seen someone shower like that. There he goes getting dressed looking sexier then Nature boy

Flair: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

JR: There he goes to the bus, I have never seen him this angry king, the bus is later then usual.

JR: Class is over, he is going to see his girlfriend. Oh my gwahd what a day!!!.
King: PUPPIES!

*At this comment FA breaks the fourth wall, and kills King*

FA: Those are full grown dogs, bitch.

JR: That was FA breaking the fourth wall yet again, what will...FA what are you... what are you...

BOOM!

[Splaya]

*At home Depot*

JR: My God, they are picking up the ladder. THEY ARE SETTING UP THE LADDER. HE IS CLIMBING THE LADDER.

*Employee pulls down a 2lb item*

KING: WOW this is incredible...PUPPIES

JR: THIS IS BRUTAL. HOW CAN ONE MAN OVERCOME THE ODDS.

[Impact!]

J.R: And here comes Impact! making his way to the chair. BA GAWD HE SAT DOWN KING! HE SAT DOWN!

King: Oh no kid, Come on don't do this, NO J.R HE GRABBED THE REMOTE ND TURNED ON RAW.

J.R: BA GAWD KING THIS IS BRUTAL, HOW CAN ONE MAN SIT THROUGH THIS TERRIBLE PROGRAMMING

King: I can hardly watch J.R

J.R: BA GAWD THOSE MCMAHON SEGMENTS AIN'T MADE OF CHOCOLATE

Tony Schiovone: This has to be the greatest night in sports entertainment.

[FourFifty]

J.R: And here comes Impact! making his way to the chair. BA GAWD HE SAT DOWN KING! HE SAT DOWN!

King: Oh no kid, Come on don't do this, NO J.R HE GRABBED THE REMOTE ND TURNED ON RAW.

J.R: BA GAWD KING THIS IS BRUTAL, HOW CAN ONE MAN SIT THROUGH THIS TERRIBLE PROGRAMMING

King: I can hardly watch J.R

J.R: BA GAWD THOSE MCMAHON SEGMENTS AIN'T MADE OF CHOCOLATE

Tony Schiovone: This has to be the greatest night in sports entertainment.

1000 Points :rofl:

[FourFifty]

Fuck it, after Impact!, I'm not going to even try. There is no fucking way I'm going to top that.

[Impact!]

:D

[rob11]

Fuck it, after Impact!, I'm not going to even try. There is no fucking way I'm going to top that.
I was going to think of something but after seeing that sure winner:rofl:

[Corkscrewed]

Ya know, I do like this topic, and I want to keep it going.

So I guess I'll do a bad one so people won't be afraid to go after me. :p




JR: Baw gawd that cake he's baking ain't made of chocolate!!!!

KING: Correct. It's a cheesecake.

[Corkscrewed]

GOLDBERG: Mazel tof!! *crunch*

JR: Baw gawd that glass is broken in half!!! Gawd almighty never in my I have never seen crystaline glass shatter into so many pieces!!! DAMN YOU GOLDBERG, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE IN ONE!!!! DAMN IT!

[Impact!]

J.R: And now King we see Impact! sitting down...WAIT A MINUTE KING IS HE? IS HE?

King: OH NO J.R HE'S GOTTEN OUT THE MATHS HOMEWORK!

J.R: BA GAWD KING HE TRULY IS THE CEREBRAL ASSASIN!

King: HOLD ON J.R, I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO NOW!

J.R: HE'S CONFUSED, STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER!

[Impact!]

*At a local McDonalds*

McDonalds Worker: Ok sir, your meal comes to a total of $5.95

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

Tony Schiovone: This meal is the best meal in the history of sports entertainment

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl: :rofl:

[Impact!]

Ok, I think I'm done now

[Disturbed316]

JR: BAH GOWD, WHO IS DROPPING BOMBS IN THE NEXT CUBICAL? YOU DIRTY SON OF A BITCH, HOW ABOUT A CURTISEY FLUSH, FOR GOD SAKE!

[Xero]

JR: What's he doing King!? KING!? BAHGAWD! TRIPLE H HAS JUST UNZIPPED HIS JEANS! BAHGAWD! HE'S PEEING! URINAL CAKE IS ERODING! BAHGAWD IT'S ERODING! ERODING! BAHGAWD IT'S GONE! 1! 2! 3 FLUSHES! BAHGAWD TRIPLE H JUST EMPTIED HIS BLATTER!

King: Uh oh JR! Look what he's doing now!

JR: BAHGAWD THE PUMP SOAP!

[PorkSoda]

Priest: Do you take this man to be your husband for all eternity?

Girl: Yes.

Priest: Do you take this women to be your wife for all eter....

*insert ECW music.*

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOD!

Paul Heyman: This wedding just got taken to the...EXTRRRRREEEEEEEEME!

[rob11]

*At a local McDonalds*

McDonalds Worker: Ok sir, your meal comes to a total of $5.95

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

Tony Schiovone: This meal is the best meal in the history of sports entertainment
Winner!!!!:lol: :rofl:

[rob11]

*At a local McDonalds*

McDonalds Worker: Ok sir, your meal comes to a total of $5.95

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

Tony Schiovone: This meal is the best meal in the history of sports entertainment
Winner!!!!:lol: :rofl:

[Nowhere Man]

AJ Styles sits on a bench, waiting for the bus

AJ: ...........*cough cough*.................

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *clap-clap-clapclapclap* THIS IS AWESOME! *clap-clap-clapclapclap*

Tenay: This is the sort of high-octane excitement you can only see here at the bus stop!

[rob11]

1998...

Tommy Dreamer is at the grocery store and someone's cart brushes him going the other way.

Styles: OHH MY GODDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! GROCERY CART TO THE RIBS! THEY MUST BE BROKEN! YET HE IS JUST TAKING IT!!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE! ECDUB! ECDUB!

[starfox8500]

*11 at night in the middle of winter, Shocker is taking out the trash when he slips on the ice*
JR: BAWGAWD he probley slipped on BBQ SAUCE
Crowd: Snicker Snicker*

[Xero]

*At a funeral service, the tombstone is being put into place.*

JR: BAHGAWD TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!

Crowd: UNDER-TAKER! *Clap clap clapclapclap* UNDER-TAKER! *Clap clap clapclapclap*

*The casket lowers*

Michael Cole: HE'S BEEN PLANTED BY THAT TOMBSTONE!

[Chuck Jones]

*Chuck Jones steps out the door with his pet basset hound. The two of them shiver a little bit.*

JR: STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
King: Puppies!

[FourFifty]

*Big Dick Johnson goes into a shady strip club, dressed in his normal ring gear*

JR: Bah Gawd, it's Big Dick Johnson!

King: I don't know if these non-wwe Divas could handle Big Dick!

*A toothless whore goes up to Big Dick and asks if he'd like a lap dance*

Tazz: I've been in the sack with her, and I gotta tell you somethin' Cole, it ain't pretty.

[starfox8500]

Tazz: I've been on both sides of that one cole, and I gotta tell you somethin' Cole, it burns like hell the next day.

[FourFifty]

Niiiiice!

[Corkscrewed]

:lol:

1000 pts to Xero and Impact.


If the marines in Iraq were all like John Cena.

[El Fangel]

Dave: Lets go guys, If Cena the american marine can kill a million terrorists alone. The 3 of us can kill....*gets hit with gunfire for 10 minutes straight*

*No Sells*

FU's Iraqi Soldiers

*US Wins the war <s>for oil</s> in Iraq.

[rob11]

Dave: Lets go guys, If Cena the american marine can kill a million terrorists alone. The 3 of us can kill....*gets hit with gunfire for 10 minutes straight*

*No Sells*

FU's Iraqi Soldiers

*US Wins the war <s>for oil</s> in Iraq.
Damn! You took the obvious one :lol:

[Inadequacy]

Come on this ones obvious

Fallen Angel: Excuse me, I'd like to enlist...IN THE TALIBAN!

or

Fallen Angel: Excuse me, I'd like to enlist in the U.S. army. Gonna butt-rape me some sexy-Cena-beasts.

[Xero]

*500 Marines drop their weapons.*

All of them: YOU CAN'T SEE U-

*Cut back to a mushroom cloud*

[Chuck Jones]

Random Marine walks up to an Iraqi tank, lifts it on his shoulders, then slams it down.

Southern Soldier: BAHGAWD! THAT TANK WAS 4,000 POUNDS KING!

[rob11]

JR: By Gawd! Cena has all insurgents in the STFU! They are all tapping! The war is over!

Terrible!

[Disturbed316]

*US Marines and Iraqi soilders are toe-ing the line in the middle of the warzone*

Marine: Yo, Bob, give me a beat

Marine 2: *BEATBOX BEAT*

Marine:

Yo yo yo this war is dope,
Without us the American oil supply has no hope,
Our boss George DUBYA will be proud,
When we send this land flat with a mushroom cloud!

Marine squadren: Oooooooh

Marine:

So go ahead and try to defeat us,
We're gonna flush you out of Iraq like an aborted FEATUS!
WORD LYFE!

Squad: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Lock Jaw]

*Lowly private runs into a Marine headquarters*

Private: The terrorists have just blown up the city!

Marine: *raises an eyebrow and restores the city as it was*

[ChiefStubbs]

Random Marine: I'm gonna turn my M-16 into a diamond-studded gold M-i6 with a spinner barrel!
Sargeant: Word Lyfe!

[Chuck Jones]

Marine grabs a random Iraqi in a chokehold, but does not rear back or do anything.

Iraqi: (whispers) Here is how you do it...

[Xero]

*Marine #1 starts to pump up his shoes*

Marine #2: What the fuck are you doing?

M #1: You know, it's the funniest thing. When I pump up my boots I become stronger!

M #2: Bullshit.

M #1: Oh?

*Marine #1 proceeds to shoulder block an Iraqi Tank, sending it smashing through a town 20 miles away, and FU's an entire fleet of Iraqis.*

Ron Simmons: .................DAMN!

[rob11]

Marines are walking down an Iraqi street. *Woman/Kiddie scream pop*

Wow, I have nothing. Maybe next round.

[rob11]

*Marine #1 starts to pump up his shoes*

Marine #2: What the fuck are you doing?

M #1: You know, it's the funniest thing. When I pump up my boots I become stronger!

M #2: Bullshit.

M #1: Oh?

*Marine #1 proceeds to shoulder block an Iraqi Tank, sending it smashing through a town 20 miles away, and FU's an entire fleet of Iraqis.*

Ron Simmons: .................DAMN!
:lol:
Also no sells various RPG rounds.

[Corkscrewed]

CENA: Hey, Bob, how's it going?

MORSE CODE TRANSMITTER: Okay. Just sending out some messages in Morse Code.

JR: Baw gawd he's tapping out!!! He's tapping out!!!

[Corkscrewed]

1111 points to Chuck Jones FU'ing of a tank scene, btw. T'was funny.


Submission Moves that Didn't Quite Make It

(This might have been done before... too lazy to check, but oh well.)

[Lock Jaw]

STFU.

:shifty:

[Indifferent Clox]

The "Listen To Me Talk" manuever by the Great Khali, Jake the Snake, and most divas.

[Impact!]

J.R: BA GAWD FUNAKI HAS JUST LOCKED ON THE CHINESE FINGER TRAP

Jerry: How long can his opponent last in this ancient chinses submission

[Lock Jaw]

Zach Gowen: Hit me if you feel so inclined, but be warned that if you do, you will leave the rest of your life with... A GUILTY CONSCIOUS!!!

Opponent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Xero]

*Lita locks on a Triangle Choke*

JR: BAHGAWD THE FIRECROTCH SQUEEZE!

[ChiefStubbs]

J.R.: BAHGAWD KELLY KELLY JUST STRIPPED NAKED, BUT CANDICE DOESN'T NOTICE!

[Xero]

*Chris Jericho puts on the Lion Tamer*

JR: ... The Fuck is this?

[Impact!]

*Abyss locks AJ Styles into the Visagra*

Mike Tenay: LOOK DON, ABYSS HAS LOCKED IN THE PRISONYARDBITCH

Don West: THIS IS SO BIZARRE

[FourFifty]

JR: Bah Gawd! Kanyon has the testical claw locked on Rico! He's smiling about it! He enjoys this!

King: Rico must be a glutton for punishment, because he's screaming he wants more!


Ron Simmions: ..............DAMN!

[Chuck Jones]

Tenay: And Joe grabs Angle from behind, forces him to the ground.
West: WAIT A MINUTE? WHY IS JOE STICKING HIS FINGER INTO HIS MOUTH??
Tenay: Oh my god! Joe's locked in the Wet Willy! Wet Willy!
WEST: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! Seriously

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts for:

Tenay: And Joe grabs Angle from behind, forces him to the ground.
West: WAIT A MINUTE? WHY IS JOE STICKING HIS FINGER INTO HIS MOUTH??
Tenay: Oh my god! Joe's locked in the Wet Willy! Wet Willy!
WEST: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! Seriously

*Lita locks on a Triangle Choke*

JR: BAHGAWD THE FIRECROTCH SQUEEZE!

Zach Gowen: Hit me if you feel so inclined, but be warned that if you do, you will leave the rest of your life with... A GUILTY CONSCIOUS!!!

Opponent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

J.R: BA GAWD FUNAKI HAS JUST LOCKED ON THE CHINESE FINGER TRAP

Jerry: How long can his opponent last in this ancient chinses submission

:lol:

[Corkscrewed]

Instances when a Khali Chop would come in handy.

[Corkscrewed]

BTW, I'm 194 rep points from having sex with your girlfriend and her slightly more attractive sister. Anyone want to help bump me over? :D :D :D

[Just John]

In a strange twists of events, Khali ends up on RAW...


Triple H: ....Well let me tell you a story!...

*Khali chops himself, falls down for the count*

[Corkscrewed]

MELINA: I have this huge knot in my shoulder that aches so much!!!

KHALI: GWWWOOOARRRARARARRRR!!!! ** CHOP **

Melina collapses to the floor.
NITRO: Oh my gawd I think you killed her!!!

KHALI: GWWWOOOARRRARARARRRR!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

PAUL BUNYAN: There's no way you can take that redwood down with just one--

KHALI: GWWWOOOARRRARARARRRR!!!! ** CHOP **

PAUL BUNYAN: Well I'll be damned.

[Inadequacy]

Some porn actress: Hey Khali! I'm filming a stomp video today, but I think I sprained my ankle so I was wondering if you wanted to cover for me.

Boy, sometimes I regret having friends who tell me about stuff like that.

[Xero]

Khali: I CHOPPY CHOPPY YOUR PEE PEE!

*Chop*

Val: SHRRRIIIINNNKKKAAAGGGGEEEEEE!

[Indifferent Clox]

Dave Chappelle as Rick James:
WHAT DID KHALI'S FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?

KHALI: AUGUAUGUAGUUGUAGUGAUGUAGUGUA!
*CHOP*

[Lock Jaw]

Lillian Garcia: And now introducing... MUHAMMED HASSA-

AYYLEEAAAAAAHAYLEEEAHHAYLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - ARRRRRGHBG!! *KHALI CHOP'D*

Hassan: Dammit, Khali!

[Indifferent Clox]

New Hogan Khalie tag theme music:

*WHEN IT COMES CRACKING DOWN LIKE A KHALI CHOP*
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM
*AUAUAUAUAH AIAUIAUIUAIU AUIAUIUI*
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM

[El Fangel]

Khali arrives home

Khali's mom: What did you learn today Khali
Khali GUIGIBKJ NIHGVUHBKJNJIBVkl JHJIBJO NKLMKMNPMPM ( I learned how to chop onions)
Mom: Thats nice dear, but I already chopped the onions
Khali: KJOJNBHBUIBLIJNGVBKU JHUIHLIHUNOIMN UIUILINULNBL ( I dislike onions very much, they upset my stomach)
Mom: Well your going to eat them
*CHOP*
Khali: UJHUIHLUIBIBIU (Momma? Looks at watch, 20 minutes to dinner)
*CHOP*
Khali: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Lock Jaw]

Lita: Khali... I'm pregnant.
Khali: URRRAAGGGGGGGUUUUBBBB!! *CHOP!*
Lita: Dammit, not again.

[Impact!]

*In a WWE creative meeting*

Vince: Alright guys, what have we got planned for the upcoming months

Writer 1: Well Vince, first up we're gonna have Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin return at Wrestlemania

Vince: Excellent, what are they goin to do there.

Writer 2: Well first of all Hogan is going to cost Carlito, CM Punk, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Ken Kennedy and Shawn Micheals there matches at mania.

Writer 1: While Austin is going to laugh at them when they return backstage, then he's going to go out and cost Undertaker his streak at Mania.

Vince: This sounds brilliant. Now I just hope you're going to tell me this will go no where, and everyone who got screwed won't be able to regain there heat.

Writer 2: Of course, anything else would just be stupid.

Vince: *Nods* Alright, and while we're at it lets have Hogan go out and defeat MNM & The Hardy Boyz in a handycap match in three minutes.

Writer 1: Why not two minutes?

Vince: Even better. Alright let's get go *CHOP*

Khali: RARGAGRBAJFSDKDTNGJFKDFJ:FHDJ

[rob11]

Master Shake, and Carl are standing there talking

Master Shake:And I said, to the guy, what's the most the most random thing that can happen right now?

*Khali comes out of nowhere "RARGGRARGARGARG" and chops Carl in half*

Master Shake: That same thing happened!

[Impact!]

*Rob Van Dam is in the ECW locker room getting ready to smoke some weed*

RVD: Hey Sabu dude, you in?

Sabu: Does a bear shit in the woods?

RVD: Haha dude of course

Sabu: Just chop the weed dude

RVD: Will do...ah shit did I leave my scissors at Stephanie's again...

Sabu: No way dude, not agian

RVD: Yeah dude, What are we gonna do

*Khali walks into the locker room*

Khali: RARRAHRDMFJSDFSLKDBGFJFKAFJGJF

*Chop*

*Khali leaves*

RVD: ...Hey Sabu you ok

Sabu: X_X

RVD: Dude your totally right, I can cut the weed with one of your ribs, thanks Khai dude.

[end]

[FourFifty]

Ted Turner: I need a new way to promote the Atlanta Braves.... but how....
Kahli: BHLRHARHARHAOMFGWTGHEHAT!!!!!
Ted Turner: Of course! I'll hire a 7'4" guy that does a chop!

[FourFifty]

first up we're gonna have Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin return at Wrestlemania

WHAT THE FUCK?

Thank you for ruining Austins return, thank you for ruining what would have been my only mark out moment in a year.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TYPE "SPOILERS" WHEN YOU TYPE WHAT THE SPOILER IS RIGHT BESIDE IT!!!!!!!!!

Now I know Austin is confirmed, he is my favourite wrestler, hearing his damn music hit would have made me mark out so bad, but no, you have to fucking ruin it, couldn't you make the title "Wrestlmania 22 major spoilers" alone? Seriously man, use your goddam brain. Why mark for spoilers when the spoiler is right beside where you mark for spoilers.

Fuck this shit, you're not the only one who does it, so many people do, i am out of the fucking wrestling forum besides for tipsters until Wrestlemania is over, see you all April fourth.

[Impact!]

*Chop*

[PorkSoda]

George Bush: Iraq is a country, and they are evil. They MUST be stopped. Fool me once, shame on.....my wife? Whatever the nursery rhyme is. Saddam Hussein is my enemy. And your enemy. The enemy is a powerful thing, and we must do our best to deprive him of his accomplishments. The cabinet is here to support me in my decisions, so let us support me with honor, and I will support America with my leadership and we will stop Saddam and his terrorist accusations. When we go to the store, do we pick out hand grenades and gu....

Khali: MAKE SENSE!

CHOP

[Corkscrewed]

I give myself 1000 pts. Thanks to those who pushed me over 50,000 rep points. :)


How Aurora Rose McMahon Helmsley will debut in the WWE.

[rob11]

Vince: Hey Val.....

[Xero]

*A hand pops out of a grave*

Baby's Voice: Oh Gene... I'm BAAAACCCK!

(Yeah, it's a rehash from a long while ago.)

[Indifferent Clox]

Viscera: Hey sexy
Mae: oh baby
Two weeks later
Mae: I'm giving birth!
Hand pops out

Khali enters the ring
*Chop*
baby comes out of viscera's ass
Vince comes out
Vince: kiss my ass Aurora or you're fired!

Kane comes out

Kane: that's my baby from the rape!
Triple H: No it's mine from when I had sex with Katie Vick
TNA and ROH run out: No it's all of our babies from the 'massive have sex with vince to be jobbed on heat' orgy

JR: BAHGAWD it's a slobber knocker
King: Puppies!
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!
Tazz: Here comes the Paine!
JBL: Back when I was wrestling I would have kicked the baby
Snitsky: It's not my fault!
Undertaker:GONG!
Michael Cole: I'm WHITE!
The Rock: If you smelllll what the doesn't matter candy ass
Austin: Cause Stone Cold 3:16 said so

Hulk Hogan: enters the ring and leg drops the baby but the baby no sells it and pins Hogan

Triple H: we ain't jobbing to you Hogan this is a new era

Stephanie via trinatron: It's not your baby paul
Shane also from trinatron: I'm the dad!

HAHAUAHAHHAHAHALLALALHALAHAHLHALHALAHLAHLA

THIS Post JUST GOT HASSANED!

[FourFifty]

HAHAUAHAHHAHAHALLALALHALAHAHLHALHALAHLAHLA

THIS THREAD JUST GOT HASSANED!

I'm sure this thread has been hassaned by people who are cooler than you.

[Xero]

Pretty sure we did a whole Hassan-related Scene.

[FourFifty]

It took me a whole five mins, but someone cooler hassaning this thread.

*Vince is watching CNN*

Reporter in middle east: And today is the inaugur-

Background: (Religious Muslim chant)

Reporter in studio: Looks like they interrupted you there... Let's go to the stage...

Vince: Hmmmmmmm...

(One week later.)

ALYALEEALYALALLAEAAAAAAA!

[Corkscrewed]

Viscera: Hey sexy
Mae: oh baby
Two weeks later
Mae: I'm giving birth!
Hand pops out

Khali enters the ring
*Chop*
baby comes out of viscera's ass
Vince comes out
Vince: kiss my ass Aurora or you're fired!

Kane comes out

Kane: that's my baby from the rape!
Triple H: No it's mine from when I had sex with Katie Vick
TNA and ROH run out: No it's all of our babies from the 'massive have sex with vince to be jobbed on heat' orgy

JR: BAHGAWD it's a slobber knocker
King: Puppies!
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!
Tazz: Here comes the Paine!
JBL: Back when I was wrestling I would have kicked the baby
Snitsky: It's not my fault!
Undertaker:GONG!
Michael Cole: I'm WHITE!
The Rock: If you smelllll what the doesn't matter candy ass
Austin: Cause Stone Cold 3:16 said so

Hulk Hogan: enters the ring and leg drops the baby but the baby no sells it and pins Hogan

Triple H: we ain't jobbing to you Hogan this is a new era

Stephanie via trinatron: It's not your baby paul
Shane also from trinatron: I'm the dad!

HAHAUAHAHHAHAHALLALALHALAHAHLHALHALAHLAHLA

THIS Post JUST GOT HASSANED!

Oh gawd that hurt my head more than a Slater C-Fed promo.

[Indifferent Clox]

It was supposed to be stupid, like master shake sort of humor.

[El Fangel]

Aurora Rose Age 2
Jan 1st 2008
Given full creative control of WWE storylines.
Jan 8th 2008
Vince on Raw : It seems our ratings jumped 5 points... Aurora you FIRED!

[Corkscrewed]

If you could use Kurt Angle logic in everyday life...

[Chuck Jones]

Chuck Jones: You are holding me back teacher. Yes, I am an A Student and treated better than the class, but with my last essay, you won't let me spread my wings. I wrote your midterm with a Broken Freaking Neck! A Broken Freaking Neck!

[Impact!]

*in a hospital*

Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you were in a car crash...I'm sorry to inform you that you've broken your neck

Impact!: WITH A BROKEN FRIGGEN NECK

[Impact!]

Shane McMahon: Ah Dad, I think we might need to do some serious remodelling with our current direction at this moment...have you looked at the ratings lately?

Vince McMahon: HAVE I LOOKED AT THE RATINGS LATELY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WE'RE DRAWING IN 70 BILLION VIEWERS EVERY WEEK, THANKS ALONE TO MYSELF

Shane: ...Dad where'd you get those ratings...

Vince: From the internet...WITH A BROKEN FRIGGING CONNECTION

[Corkscrewed]

2000 pts to Impact.


Rejected choices to be Trump's WM representative.

[ChiefStubbs]

Vince: So Donald, who can you *possibly* pick to take on Umaga?
*Mae Young's music hits*

[rob11]

Trump: So you, Chris Jericho, can promise me the services of Goldberg for the big match for 1 million dollars.
Jericho: Sure, "Goldberg" will show up *laughs under breath*

[Skippord]

Vince: Who will you pick Donald

Donald: THIS MAN: <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f85/Skippord/apprentice_omarosa.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

[Shadow]

Trump: So you can probably get the job done and beat Umaga so I can shave Vince bald?

Heindenrich: Not only will I beat Umaga...but I'll take him into the lcoker room and...read him a poem. Just like I did to Cole.

[El Fangel]

Donald: Ok if you win the match, I will pay you half of my ne worth
*Cena wearing a superman costume walks in*
Will you get a haircut?
Donald: No....Why
*Cena flys away*
Donald: Any more takers
Khali: GIGIUGBYBVYTVYTVCTC
Donald: Ummm....OK
Khali (Nods head vigorously) GVBIBIBUNNJKINI
Donald: you want something?
Khali: *CHOP*
*Grabs Donalds Wallet and Leaves*
Runs into Cryme Tyme
CT: Muthafucka beat us to it!
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
*CHOP*

[Impact!]

Donald Trump: And now, introducing my representative...




















AURURA ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

[El Fangel]

I know that kid would be a heel, no fucking way it could be a baby face.

[Impact!]

*Vince, Umaga, Armando, and Trump are in the ring*

Trump: Ok Vince, you want to know who I'm choosing to represent me at Wrestlemania. Well then let me introduce you to...MY HAIR

*Trumps hair piece jumps off and attacks Umaga*

J.R: BA GAWD KING, THAT HAIR PIECE AIN'T MADE OF CHOCOLATE

King: UMAGA'S HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY HA HAH

Trump: We'll see you at Wrestlemania Vincent

[Vastardikai]

Trump: (over the phone) Hello, Mr. Awesome, I'd like you to be...

(In runs an angry TPWWer who saw this coming)

Angry TPWWer: TOO SOON! TOO FUCKING SOON! FUCK YOU VASTARDIKAI!

Vastardikai: I was just gonna have Awesome say no and leave it at that. Wait a minute... you don't mean that Awesome is... NOOOOOOO!

[Xero]

Trump: Vince, in WrestleMania, my pick is going to be...

*Lita's music hits*

Trump: LIT-

*Lita walks out and off the stage, breaking her leg.*

*Vince whispers to Trump*

Trump: Ok, ok... STEVIE RICHARDS!

[Disturbed316]

*Trump, McMahon and Uuuuumaga are in the ring*

Trump: And my pick for wrestlemania is....STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!

Fan in front row: WHAT THE FUCK?

Thank you for ruining Austins return, thank you for ruining what would have been my only mark out moment in a year.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TYPE "SPOILERS" WHEN YOU TYPE WHAT THE SPOILER IS RIGHT BESIDE IT!!!!!!!!!

Now I know Austin is confirmed, he is my favourite wrestler, hearing his damn music hit would have made me mark out so bad, but no, you have to fucking ruin it, couldn't you make the title "Wrestlmania 22 major spoilers" alone? Seriously man, use your goddam brain. Why mark for spoilers when the spoiler is right beside where you mark for spoilers.

Fuck this shit, you're not the only one who does it, so many people do, i am out of the fucking wrestling forum besides for tipsters until Wrestlemania is over, see you all April fourth.

Trump: Hmm, maybe not

[Lock Jaw]

Trump: Allow me to introduce my representative.... JAMAL!!!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 pts to Disturbed.

WWE World: The Theme Park

[Corkscrewed]

KID #1: Lets go ride Lita!!

KID #2: OKAY!!


















http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/9698/ki52ln3.jpg

[Corkscrewed]

KID #1: Lets go ride Lita!

KID #2: Okay!





















KID #1: Aw crap, there's a four hour line.

[Skippord]

*Horrible Roller Coaster Accident*

Snitsky: That WASNT...MY...FAULT

[Lock Jaw]

KID #1: Let's go ride Space Mountain!

KID #2: Okay!












http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/6387/ricflairio0.jpg
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Impact!]

Kid 1: Wanna go play The Game?

Kid 2: Ok

*Kids run off towards The Game, they begin to climb the stairs towards the line*

Kid1: Sweet theres no line

*WANG*

Kid 1: Ow wtf

Kid 2: Damn glass ceiling

[Impact!]

*Two kids hop onto the CreativeMinds Roller Coaster*

Kid 1: This is gonna be totally awesome

Kid 2: Damn right, it's going to be going off like tha chain gang man

*The safety bars come down and the ride starts up*

Kid 1: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YEAH

*The Coaster builds up speed and heads toward a series of loops and twists*

Kid 2: THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME

*The Coaster starts twisting a turning when suddenly it plumits down and splashes into some water*

Kid 1: Wtf is this

*The coaster starts moving, it splashes out of the water and starts moving forward*

Kid 2: ...Dude are we in line for food now

Kid 1: ...I think we are...

*The coaster then makes its way out of the food line and makes it way randomly across the park before crashing into a tree*

Kid 1: Ow...

Kid 2: What the hell just happened...

*The safety bars raise up*

Voice: Please exit the roller coaster, we hope you enjoyed your ride

*The coaster starts up and heads off back towards the beginning*

Kid 1: Wtf continuety

[Xero]

Kid #1: Let's go ride the ECW!

Kid #2: Okay!












http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g122/sandman3g/Misc/devine.jpg

[FourFifty]

<b>Kid1:</b> Hey! Let's take the New Guy Push ride! Looks promising!

<b>Kid2:</b> Looks like the best ride in WWE Land!

<b>Kids 1 & 2</b> Yay!!!!

<i>*Meanwhile.....*</i>
<b>Vince:</b> What?!?!?! They like the New Guy Push ride? That's it! Someone either move that ride to ECW land or misuse it!