GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat

[Corkscrewed]

Reporter in 1938: "In other news, our Socialist Party leader, John Bradshaw Hitler, spoke at a rally in an effort to rouse our mighty German troops preparing to enter battle in this new world war. Two hours later, French soldiers entered the streets of the capital, Berlin..."

[Rock Bottom]

Thought one up

JBL: And I'd just like to warn all of you Jews out there...
HHH: Excuse me. (Tapping Bradshaw on the shoulder)
JBL: (Turns around and gets pedigreed and butt raped)
HHH: Just a warning. Before you even think about it, don't add any H's to your name. :yes:

[Corkscrewed]

I liked mine better. :p

[Nowhere Man]

Reporter in 1938: "In other news, our Socialist Party leader, John Bradshaw Hitler, spoke at a rally in an effort to rouse our mighty German troops preparing to enter battle in this new world war. Two hours later, French soldiers entered the streets of the capital, Berlin..."

I don't think I can top that one.

[big_bluto]

Reporter in 1939:
Shock Talks Between 'Bradshaw' Hitler and 'Eddie' Churchill

After Germany was declared a main-event threat to the security and peace of Europe by Mr Angle, spokesman for the British Government, there have been unconfirmed reports of a secret meeting taking place between Bradshaw Hitler and Eddie Churchill discussing the potential for war.
Items that have been rumoured to have been discussed also include Germany's reliance on Britain to carry the fight, and the agreement that if things head towards a finale, they may get bloody.
We have also heard shocking rumours that if the war is not finished to a satisfactory conclusion, both sides may engage in an impromptu rematch.

At this time there is speculation that this potential war may be a done deal, however Britain presently reigns supreme, and may I ask you all to hope and pray that it may continue.

Michael Cole
World Wide Events News

[c4g2]

Bradshaw: Forward, fellow believers! Let us rid this world of the Latino plague! I guarantee, I absolutely guarantee that I, Adolf Bradshaw Hitler will emerge with a victory tonight!

:shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

(warning: the following joke *may* offend some people. I'm sorry if it does, but I'm gonna try it anyway)










Bradshaw: "And all the Jews are thus sentenced to be shipped to Auschwitz, where they shall be tortured by being put in chambers and forced to watch Ironman matches between myself and Bobcore Hollysilini!!!"

[Nowhere Man]

(Bradshaw's bunker, the closing days of the war)

Nazi General: Mein Fuhrer, the Allies are closing in on the city! We must take you somewhere safe!

Bradshaw: To hell with that! The Allies are nothing more than a bunch of twelve-year-old geeks that I used to beat up in high school; I don't need to hide from them!

(Bradshaw peeks head out of bunker, and is immediately shot by a sniper)

[Corkscrewed]

Bradshaw: "General, it is time to mount the attack. Prepare our troops to unleash a blitzkrieg of Clotheslines from Hell on the French opposition!!!"
General: "But sir, the enemy is armed with machine guns, bayonets, a calvary, and heavy artillery!"
Bradshaw: "Silence! I am confident that our blitzkrieg of Clotheslines from Hell will overwhelm our unpatriotic and weak enemy and force them into submission!!!"

4 hours and 500,000 German deaths later...

General: "Sir, we have been routed! What other maneuvers might we execute to salvage this disaster?"
Bradshaw: "I dunno."

[Nowhere Man]

Famous Historian: By the summer of 1943, the British-made Colossus computer had cracked the German's infamous Enigma code, and now plans could be set for an Invasion of Europe. Allied casualties should have been appalling when they attacked the previously heavily-guarded Atlantic wall, but fortunately Bradshaw had routed all of his manpower to going after the "12-year-old geeks on their parents' computer," thus opening all of Fortress Europe to Allied attacks.

That, among several other things, is why John Bradshaw Layfield is commemorated here, on the History Channel's "History's Greatest Dumbasses."

[Corkscrewed]

In an underground bunker in 1945...
Bradshaw: Evan, my boy toy darling, get to the typewriter and write this letter as I dictate it to you. It shall contain my message to the German people.
Evan: For the last time! My name is Eva! I'm a GIRL! Stop calling me your BOY toy!!!
Bradshaw: You mean... all this time, I HAVEN'T been screwing a boy???
Eva(n): YES!!!
Bradshaw: Dear god.... *swallows a cyanide caplet*

[Favre4Ever]

Reporter: " The Battle in Berlin officially ended today as U.S. and Soviet forces overwelmed Germanys capital. The search for Hitler did not last long; his body was found in a luxurious underground bunker. The Fuhrer apparently had mortal enemy of his own, as a note was found on his body. It read:

"Dear Bradshaw: Betrayls a Bitch ain't it?..............Damn."

[Corkscrewed]

1000000 points to me for being *Strong Bad* TOTALLY AWESOME. ;)


WWE meets Star Wars

[Disturbed316]

Vince: Triple H.....I....am your FATHER!

Triple H: :wtf:

Vince: And Stephanie is your sister

Triple H: :wtf:

Vince: urgh....You married your sister....and had sex with her!

Triple H: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[loopydate]

A-Train and Eugene are playing chess. Eric Bischoff and William Regal look on.

A-Train: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh
Regal: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Bischoff: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
Regal: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a...special person.
Bischoff: That's 'cause "special people" don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
A-Train: Grrf.
Regal: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, my dear boy: let the Wookiee win.

[Favre4Ever]

So Corky, i get -10,000 for the Reagan RKO, but you get a MILLION for a concentration camp joke? I want a recount!!!!

Before I go into this topic, i want to remind everybody about the RAW where Goldust dressed up as vader and went into the Big Shows locker room.

Goldust: Big Show, the NWO never told you about your Father. Big Show.....I am your father.
**Hits Show with fake lightsaber**
**Nash comes in and kills Goldust**

[Nowhere Man]

**Triple H and Shawn Michaels face off for the 97th time**

HHH: When last we met, I was your student. The circle is complete; now I am the master.

HBK: Only a master of evil, Hunter. You can't win. If you strike me down, I shall return with another gimmick match next month.

[Favre4Ever]

***Triple H to Shawn Michaels, after Michaels hand has been sliced off***

Triple H: "Join me. We can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen it. Together, we can rule the Galaxy as Father and Son."

Michaels: "NO! I'll never join you!!!!"

Triple H: Shawn......it is your DESTINY.

Michaels: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
***Throws himself off of RAW Stage ledge***

[Corkscrewed]

So Corky, i get -10,000 for the Reagan RKO, but you get a MILLION for a concentration camp joke? I want a recount!!!!

Before I go into this topic, i want to remind everybody about the RAW where Goldust dressed up as vader and went into the Big Shows locker room.

Goldust: Big Show, the NWO never told you about your Father. Big Show.....I am your father.
**Hits Show with fake lightsaber**
**Nash comes in and kills Goldust**

:lol:

Well... the points don't matter, remember?

[Corkscrewed]

Chav Chav: "Hello! Meesa Chav Chav Classic! Meesa unite Gungans and Naboo!"
Boss Vince: "Yousa do good jobba! Weesa make you Cruisaweight Champion!!"
Chav Chav: "Cruisaweight Champion?!" *faints and collapses*

[Corkscrewed]

I woulda thought there'd be more entries for this....


If Bob Holly was Willy Wonka

[big_bluto]

Oompah Loompah?
You're haven't paid your dues!!!!!!
*drowns little guy in chocolate river*

Later....

Charlie who?
You won a contest to get in here?
*Holly beats the shit out of him for no apparent reason*
You wait until you think you're just about to hit the big time, and I'll be there waiting......Matt, Charlie, whatever your name is!

Later.....

What do you mean this is a job?
I'm not doing a job for a chocolate factory!!
*beats the shit out of some random passerby*

[PorkSoda]

Oompaloompa: Willy, what shall we do now?
Holly: Go mop the floors, beetch!
Oompaloompa: But you were never this strict!
Holly: How ya like me now?
*Dropkicks the Oompaloompa*

OR....

Bush: Hi America!
AL Gore: You suck!
Bush: Indeed
(Flys away) :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Favre4Ever]

I kinda reversed the roles here, so sorry for cheating.....

Wonka: "Now I'll ask you one more time: Are you SURE you didn't eat anything in my factory?"

Holly(Who's bloated like a balloon and colored purple): "What, are you calling me a liar?"

Wonka(defensive): "Woah, i'm just saying-"

Holly: "Hey shut up Wonka!"

(Rep for anyone who knows the Ref!)

[Anybody Thrilla]

I kinda reversed the roles here, so sorry for cheating.....

Wonka: "Now I'll ask you one more time: Are you SURE you didn't eat anything in my factory?"

Holly(Who's bloated like a balloon and colored purple): "What, are you calling me a liar?"

Wonka(defensive): "Woah, i'm just saying-"

Holly: "Hey shut up Wonka!"

(Rep for anyone who knows the Ref!)

I wanna say Family Guy

[Xero]

Oompa Loompa: Oompa... Loompa... Doopa dee doo... He's going to job right... to... you...

Holly: STFU YOU LITTLE ORANGE PIECE OF SHIT! **Beats the hell out of him**

[Nowhere Man]

Okay, this thread died, so I'm gonna come up with another category for us:

Strangely Booked Celebrity Appearances (No Arquette jokes, please)

[Shadow]

Orton: I understand that I'm supposed to kill Legands but him?

John Wayne Zombie: Listen here pilgrims. I'm gonna eat this here young ladies brains and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

[Anybody Thrilla]

VINCE: Triple H, I really don't think it's a good idea to have Kobe Bryant come in and be mad at Kane, or you as it was, for gimmick infringement in the raping of Katie Vick.

HHH: Oh really? Hey sweetheart, can you come here for a minute?

(Stephanie McMahon bounces in. Triple H gives her 'the look'. Stephanie returns it with a knowing wink.)

STEPH: But DADDY! I WANT IT!

(Vince sighs)

VINCE: What's the Lakers' phone number?

[Corkscrewed]

Vince: "Baw gawd! Seagal's got Triple in position! He's getting ready to deliver his dreaded Seagal Neck Breaker! Here it comes... YEAH!"
King: "IT'S OVER!"
*Triple H no-sells and gets back up*
Vince: "NO IT'S NOT!!!"

[Nowhere Man]

Cole: Look, Tazz, it's that masked luchadore who's been attacking Rey Mysterio for weeks now!
Tazz: Remember, last week, he won a #1 Contender shot at Rey's Cruiserweight Title. Let's see what he has to say!

**Mysterious Masked Luchadore looks at the crowd, then slowly takes off his mask**

Cole: Oh my God! I don't believe it!
Tazz: It can't be.....but it IS! It's....

Both: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!!!!
http://www.louisebertaux.com/hartmann/gimg/CHRISTOPHER-WALKEN.jpg

My God, he is a scary-looking man.

[Xero]

Vince: Okay Hunter, Ive booked WrestleMania's main event! It's gonna be you, and TX from the Terminator... You gotta job...

**TX walks in**

HHH: But she's a woman!

**TX morphes her hand into a Bazooka**

HHH: Oh shit...

Vince: Yeah, sorry about that, she's having her period...

(Bad joke, not intended to offend)

[Corkscrewed]

^ :lol: :rofl:

[Favre4Ever]

JR: Ladies and gentemen, I can't believe it, this battle royals getting out of control! Here comes our next participant...

***Glass Shatters***

King: It's the Rattlesnake!!

JR: STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER!STUNNER! AUSTINS STUNNED EVERYONE OUT OF THE RING!! HES STANDING ALONE!!BAH GAWD!

King: Here comes our next participant JR.....

***Its Raining Men sounds over the loud speakers***

JR: BAH GAWD ITS SIMMONS! ITS RICHARD SIMMONS!

King: Hes skipping his way down to the ring!!!

Austin:.....What?!?

**Throws himself out. Richard Simmons is now the #1 contender for the WWF Title**

[c4g2]

*bump*

[big_bluto]

Survivor Series Match Up:
Team Lesnar: Brock Lesnar (returned), A-train, Big Show, Matt Morgan, Tyson Tomko (in place of Jones)

versus

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
JR: Bah Gawd! They're going after A-Train with the waxing strips! A-Train taps! A-Train taps! A-Train taps!
:shifty:

[c4g2]

*promo*
HHH: People say I look strange with a big nose. Let me tell you, you don't mess with the game here...

*Michael Jackson comes out*

Jackson: Well Hunter, I just got a new nose a week ago, you like it?

Trips: :eek:

[loopydate]

JBL: Ah've been sayin' fer weeks that Ah'm a great American. And tonight, in mah match with Eddie Guerrero, Ah'm gonna introduce the world to ANOTHER great American.

Later, during the match

COLE: Eddie's going up top!
TAZZ: He's feelin' froggy, Cole!
COLE: He's--WAIT A MINUTE!
TAZZ: Is that--?
COLE: It is! John Kerry just pushed Eddie Guerrero off the top rope!
TAZZ: Clothesline From Hell!
COLE: John Bradshaw Layfield is the new WWE Champion!
TAZZ: And Kerry has just joined the Republican Party!
COLE: That son of a bitch! Why? Why, Senator Kerry? Why?

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl: We have a winner!!

10,000 points to loopy for hittin' it political style! :lol:

and 1000 points to Nowhere Man for picking up the slack over the weekend.

If wrestling ran PETA...

[loopydate]

The troops have gathered

VINCE: Okay, guys. In order to prevent any semblance of hypocrisy, we're going to be changing a few things around here. First of all, our World Champion will no longer be known as the "Rabid Wolverine," as that is derogatory toward carnivorous mammals with illnesses.
BENOIT: ...
VINCE: It's okay, we'll just go back to calling you the "Crippler."
BENOIT: That's not so bad.
VINCE: Unfortunately, there are bigger changes in store. Rhyno?
RHYNO: Yeah.
VINCE: Your name is offensive to rhinoceri with learning disabilities. From now on, we're calling you "Steve."
RHYNO: My real name is "Terry."
VINCE: That's a sissy name.
TERRY TAYLOR: Hey!
VINCE: You're "Steve," and you'll like it, dammit! Eddie Guerrero?
EDDIE: Orale, mi raza! Donde esta me gen--
VINCE: ...yeah. We need to make some changes with you.
EDDIE: What? No son animales in my gimmick, homes!
VINCE: "Frogsplash?" That's just BEGGING kids to throw frogs into water at damaging velocities. From now on, your finisher is the "Accordion splash."
RVD: Dude, that sucks. I have to do the "Five-Star Accordion Splash?"
VINCE: No. From now on, your finisher is a dropkick.
RVD: Not cool...
JR: BAH GAWD RATTLESNAKE SUMBITCH!
KING: PUPPIES!
JERICHO: What about them?
VINCE: Are you kidding? They're JR and the King! The fans LOVE them! They can keep on doing what they're doing.

Three weeks later, the company goes out of business.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Michael Cole: I told you anything could happen in the WWE. Fifi is the new WWE Champion, defeated Eddie Guerrero after a shocking Cradle DDT called the "Ifif". She looks extremely happ...oh no Tazz! Here comes the new Panda order, better known as the World Wildlife Fund.

Crowd: *Boos*

Tazz: They made us change our name Cole!

*Pandas beat down Fifi. WWE loses viewers.*

[Anybody Thrilla]

The troops have gathered

VINCE: Okay, guys. In order to prevent any semblance of hypocrisy, we're going to be changing a few things around here. First of all, our World Champion will no longer be known as the "Rabid Wolverine," as that is derogatory toward carnivorous mammals with illnesses.
BENOIT: ...
VINCE: It's okay, we'll just go back to calling you the "Crippler."
BENOIT: That's not so bad.
VINCE: Unfortunately, there are bigger changes in store. Rhyno?
RHYNO: Yeah.
VINCE: Your name is offensive to rhinoceri with learning disabilities. From now on, we're calling you "Steve."
RHYNO: My real name is "Terry."
VINCE: That's a sissy name.
TERRY TAYLOR: Hey!
VINCE: You're "Steve," and you'll like it, dammit! Eddie Guerrero?
EDDIE: Orale, mi raza! Donde esta me gen--
VINCE: ...yeah. We need to make some changes with you.
EDDIE: What? No son animales in my gimmick, homes!
VINCE: "Frogsplash?" That's just BEGGING kids to throw frogs into water at damaging velocities. From now on, your finisher is the "Accordion splash."
RVD: Dude, that sucks. I have to do the "Five-Star Accordion Splash?"
VINCE: No. From now on, your finisher is a dropkick.
RVD: Not cool...
JR: BAH GAWD RATTLESNAKE SUMBITCH!
KING: PUPPIES!
JERICHO: What about them?
VINCE: Are you kidding? They're JR and the King! The fans LOVE them! They can keep on doing what they're doing.

Three weeks later, the company goes out of business.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"Steve"

[Corkscrewed]

Um... nevermind.


WWE: The Theme Park

[Corkscrewed]

Kid: "Mommy mommy! I want to go on that ride!!!"
Mom: "A ride with those Lita-Bar restraints? Oh hell no!"

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Stone Cold Steve Austin's Stevewiser Stunner"
*Do not ride if pregnant*

[big_bluto]

Theme Park Map:

If you smell what the Rock is cooking, turn left down Jabroni drive, turn right at the Smackdown Hotel, and enter the station to board the A-Train.
This will take you around the perimeter of the park.
You can get off the A-Train at any of the 4 stations, named Vince, Linda, Steph and Shane.

Visit such wondrous places as;

'The Wonder of Evolution', - a scientific explanation as to what DNA does to make up the best stable in HHH's opinion.
Experience our 'flight simulator' where you can be a flight stewardess and Ric Flair will expose himself to you (allegedly)
See the incredibly expensive 'Big Show' with performances on an occasional basis.
Or ride the 'Guerrero Blood Rapids', the fabulous fast log flume running from a statue of Eddie Guerrero's head.
Or if it's good clean fun you're after, why not throw a custard pie at our 'Comedy Jobber Cruiserweights', available all over the park.

Please ensure that your tickets are stamped at the Cash Desk, as they must be presented prior to entrance at the Holly Terminus, where you are checked to ensure you have 'paid your dues'.

Open every Monday and Thursday night, and every 4th Sunday.

[c4g2]

^ :lol:

And so in WWE: Theme Park, we have here many attractions.

First, you must visit the Rabid Wolverine. Despite being made ordinary and buried, the Rabid Wolverine is a must-see. Watch it jump off a high place and tumble on the ground.

If you prefer some blood and gore, you can pop into our cinema to watch the Heartbreak movies. Pick from a range from 1990 - 2004. Not for the faint-hearted!

Fancy some popcorn? Visit Rhyno, our friendly popcorn seller!

A ride in the A-train is recommended! But be careful where it goes, things could get hairy fast...

Here at WWE: Theme Park, you can also play at our arcades an exclusive video game only available here, Jericho Adventures! Will you get buried? Or will you get the gold and become the Undisputed winner? Try it out!

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Also, in the Evolution section, be sure to try out the Evolution Kool Aid. Once you taste it, Evolution will NEVER be able to pass you by.</font>

[HankScorpio]

why not try the hurricane ride, there's standing room only in the back

[Vastardikai]

Bust your phattest rhymes in the John Cena Freestyle booth.

Try the Randy Orton Heat Machine: If you are a Casual fan it doesn't go anywhere. If you are a member of TPWW, it only goes up. Free mops are provided to Loose Cannon.

Every theme park has a water ride, so be sure to check out the Log Ride of Tears, Water provided by people being forced to watch the WWE Divas try to act.

Don't forget to visit the Land of OVW Graduates, where EVERYTHING is Green.

And no trip to the WWE THEME PARK is complete without a ride on the F-5, that features the scariest loop of all, the Shooting Star Press. Football pads not included.

[c4g2]

And our biggest draw to date... Up or Down?

This consists of a wrestling match between you and a man with a strange nose. Will you get held down? Or will you Beat the Game and go up?

[Xero]

At WWE: The Theme Park, we have many rides and attractions, including:

The McMahon Jobber Express: Work from lowly jobber to bigger jobber, and finally get your ass fired! All in one week!

The Nash-a-Nator: The biggest, slowest roller coaster on the east coast! Be warned: Some may experience sharp pain in their leg. Please seek medical attention IMMEDIATLY if this happens!

Flair Bungie: Get thrown from the top of our extra-large turnbuckel!

Hunter: Play a friendly game of paint ball! The object is to lose to the player designated Triple H!


We also have other attractions like:

Pose for Champion: Pose as the WWE Cruiserweight Champion! All ages allowed, Women get half off!

Pose with Triple H: Pose yourself jobbing to Triple H! Many options avalible.

WWE: The Side Show: Experience everything from the days of the small Max Mini to the fat ass known as The Big Show... This week only: The Human Hairball, A Train!


We also sell EXCLUSIVE merchindice, including:
Official Undertaker Cowboy Hat
Rhyno's Super Glue
A Train Coat
Heavyweight Championship "Stuck on You" Belt, secured with Rhyno's Super Glue, guaranteed NEVER to come off!


We here at WWE: The Theme Park hope for your safty, and thats why, when you ride our rides, we have NO seat belts, no, we use something much safer: Rhyno Industral Strength Super Glue!

[c4g2]

Thirsty? There are specialised water fountains throughout WWE: Theme Park, consisting of a mini-statue of Triple H looking up with his mouth open! When you press his nose, a stream of water will shoot out of his mouth! Have fun interacting with the Heavenly Hunter H-ountain!

[Corkscrewed]

Kid: "Mommy mommy! I want to go play in Sean's Fun Cage!!!"
Mother: *sigh* "You're not telling me anything I don't already know..."

[Anybody Thrilla]

Two guys wait in line at the I STILL REMEMBER ride.

GUY #1: Man, I can't wait to ride this thing! I've heard a lot about it!

GUY #2: Yeah, we could be in for anything here!

The ride suddenly dissolves into thin air

GUY #1: D'oh!

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>The Ultimo Dragon Roller Coaster:

-The ride starts by getting pulled of a very, very large hill, all of Ultimo's accomplishments are listed on the side as the people go up.

At the top of the hill, a large sign reads "AND THEN HE CAME TO THE WWE..."

The ride then plummets downward into the ground.</font>

[Azriel]

Come ride the JLB Salute Ride. Suitable only for Nazi sympathizers

[Nowhere Man]

**Sign reads "RIDE THE LEGEND KILLER, THE GREATEST, MOST EXCITING, MOST ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE RIDE OF ALL TIME!!!!**

Park-goer: Hey, that sounds pretty good! Let's see what all the hype is about!

**Park-goer walks up to the ride, only to find a lame kiddie-roller-coaster with a legion of obsessive fans around it**

Park-goer: THIS is it?!?!

Rabid Fan: Yeah, isn't it awesome! I mean, the sign says it's even better than the Hardcore Legend Coaster! This is the future of amusement park rides!!!

[loopydate]

It's the John Cena Stage Spectacular!

See "WWE Cast Members" dressed as the Doctor of Thuganomics!
Hear classic rap tunes delivered at an absurdly deliberate pace!
Smell the vanilla!
Taste Deez Nuts!
Feel bad that you spent $25 for tickets!

The John Cena Stage Spectacular is located in "Ohio Valley Land" next to the Evolution's Animal safari and Tame S&M Theatre.

[Jonster]

<font color=goldenrod>The Ultimo Dragon Roller Coaster:

-The ride starts by getting pulled of a very, very large hill, all of Ultimo's accomplishments are listed on the side as the people go up.

At the top of the hill, a large sign reads "AND THEN HE CAME TO THE WWE..."

The ride then plummets downward into the ground.</font>
Word has it this ride has just closed down, it seems the carridges slipped off.


Sorry couldn't resist :$

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>-edit-

This sucked, new one coming up...</font>

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>JR's Slobberknockin' Coaster

"Take a ride on one of the best BAH GAWD roller coasters ever built. Go at high octane speeds of 60 MPH, making twists, turns, and screwjobs all the way around. The best part is towards the end, where the track divides into two separate ones, literally breaking the car in half. BAHGAWDSTUNNERSTUNNER!"

First 100 folks to ride it at the park's opening get a free bottle of BBQ Sauce.</font>

[c4g2]

To hell with masssage! Try the new Cruiser Vibrating Belt! Made out of pure Maple Leaf gold, the belt will vibrate, soothing your feelings! This process was discovered by Chavo Guerrero Senior!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/12.jpg
Chavo when he touched the Cruiser Vibrating Belt!

Try it, only for US$2.00 per pop!

[Corkscrewed]

Eh... 1000 points to... TheOneLameGunn. :D

If the Muppets invaded the WWE

[big_bluto]

It'd be JR and King as the two old guys in the box.

(sorry - I don't know their names or have pics of them and I can't be arsed looking for them either.)

(actually it surprises me that I made this post in the first place!)

(Points for effort at lack of effort?)

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Biggest nose contest: Triple H vs. Gonzo

Winner: Triple H</font>

[big_bluto]

Eddie Guerrero v RVD v Val Venis v Kermit
Best Frogsplash Match!
(poor kermit)

Miss Piggy, Torrie & Sable in a Playboy Shoot!

Triple H jobs to Gonzo in a biggest nose in the world match!
*sorry, but ^^^post beat me to it! And the verdict probably should be the other way around!


Animal makes himself an Evolution drum-kit by battering the crap out of them all with his sticks (and not in a Steve Blackman fashion)

[HankScorpio]

I thought they had!
I could've sworn JR was a Jim Henson creation and Jerry Lawler was the one working him (you never see Lawlers left hand)

[Corkscrewed]

Eddie Guerrero v RVD v Val Venis v Kermit
Best Frogsplash Match!
(poor kermit)

Miss Piggy, Torrie & Sable in a Playboy Shoot!

Triple H jobs to Gonzo in a biggest nose in the world match!
*sorry, but ^^^post beat me to it! And the verdict probably should be the other way around!


Animal makes himself an Evolution drum-kit by battering the crap out of them all with his sticks (and not in a Steve Blackman fashion)

ONE SCENE PER REPLY PLEASE!!! (see rules) ;)

[big_bluto]

ONE SCENE PER REPLY PLEASE!!! (see rules) ;)
Apologies.
I thought that was binned a while back after I saw someone putting 6 responses in, and someone else putting in 4, during one scene.

But fair enough.
:y:

[Anybody Thrilla]

I see little potential in this.

[Disturbed316]

Kermit would steal Stephanie away from Triple H, because he's such a pimp, and become World Heavyweight Champion for 58 months.

[Corkscrewed]

I see little potential in this.
Well, it's supposed to be if the Muppets did a WCW/ECW Invasion type thing into the WWE, not if the WWE was like the Muppets.

[Corkscrewed]

So lemme rephrase it...

The WCW/ECW Invasion: Muppets Style

[Nowhere Man]

JR: BAHGAWDSONOFABITCHBROKENINHALFSTRAIGHTTOHELL! It's Kermit, and Fozzy, and Gonzo! I don't believe my eyes! The Muppets are taking over Raw!

King: And look! They're being led by Shane and Stephanie!

**Muppets are shoved to the sidelines for 6 months while Shane feuds with Vince**

[Xero]

**The lights go out and Dracula's music hits, the Count walks out on SSPW (Seasame Street Pro Wrestling) Nitro while Vince is on Raw**

JR: BAH GAWD ITS THE COUNT! WHAT IS HE DOING THERE!?

Count: Ah ah ah! I have aquired SSPW, Mr. Vince! Ah ah ah! I now OWN SSPW! Ah ah ah!

Vince: NO! IT CANT BE! YOU BASTARD!

Count: Ah ah ah... And let me introduce you to the man who will help me take over WWE, ah ah ah... The... **Numbers come on the Titian Tron** 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... FIVE Time SSPW champion... ELMO!

**Elmo comes out to the Ring**

Elmo: Elmo will kill you!

**Elmo and Count walk out**

Count: Ah ah ah, before I got, we've got 4 words for ya... I LIKE TO COUNT!


Okay, that pretty much sucked...

[loopydate]

^ LOL. I can totally see that, except it should have been "ONE-time SSPW Champion! Ah-ah-ah! TWO-time SSPW Champion! THREE-time SSPW Champion!" etc. etc.

The "Elmo will kill you" reminded me of the episode of "The Simpsons" when PBS comes after Homer and Elmo pops up and says "Elmo knows where you live."

[Xero]

The "Elmo will kill you" reminded me of the episode of "The Simpsons" when PBS comes after Homer and Elmo pops up and says "Elmo knows where you live."
I was thinking about that episode when I wrote that :lol:

[Corkscrewed]

Okay... that was a dud... :(


Alternate WWE Wrestler Entrance Music Lyrics

(inspired by the Mordecai discussion that turned into a battle of John Cena Shrubbery puns ;))

[loopydate]

*DundundunDUN...dun dun dundundunDUN dun...*

SO **** UP YOUR MOVES, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
SO **** UP YOUR MOVES, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
So **** up your moves, ma-an. Climb the ropes, then fall down fast...
The fan boys'll love you, despite all the botches from your past


===

...or something that doesn't suck.

[PorkSoda]

(This is kind of confusing)

Lilian Garcia: Making their way to the ring, EVOLUTION!

"WHY CANT WEEEE BE FRIENDS WHY CAN WEEEEE FRIENDS?"

[Cooler Tom Schuler]

(Steph's new entrance.)

It's time to lay the game...

(You get the idea.)

[Favre4Ever]

***Glass Shatters***

Skip the Others
I'll hit my wife
When theres nothing to drink
You won't believe it but i'm bettin' that you will

Slap em' all
I'll guess i'll live with the lawsuit ya bring
On to me, you know its only the beginning.......

(I hope everyone remembers when SCSA's music was played by Disturbed.....)

[Mr. Nerfect]

Du-du-du-du du-du-du-du (Undertaker walks out in wedding dress)

[91]

Evolution/Motorhead inspired theme #476

Time to play the game... time to play some cards
It's time to play the game, the game of cards, the game we're playing is pontoon.
Triple H has the king of diamonds, all he needs now is the ace of spades.
The ace of spades, the ace of spades, the ace of spades, the ace of spades.

Repeat ad nauseum.

[Ferocious]

A Train during the Christmas Holiday Season.

On the first day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese

[Anybody Thrilla]

But A-Train doesn't use "The 12 Days of Christmas" as his theme music! :shifty:

[Ferocious]

He does during the Christmas Holiday season.

Let me sing my song dammit, I just needed a vague reason to do it so let it be.

[c4g2]

(Girls in background) No, No, No, Shawn!

I think i'm old,
I know I'm balding.
I got the looks,
That turn TVs off.
I got the moves,
That make 'em snore.
I Send snores all over the arena.

I'm just a old has-been.
(old has-beeeeeeeeeen)
I'm the Heartbreak Kid
(Heartbreak kid)
I'm just a huge jobber
(Huge jobber)
I job to Triple H
(Triple H)

I make 'em snore,
I make 'em bored.
They will get sleepy,
Whenever I'm around.
They see me blade,
They hear me talk.
I make 'em feel,
Like they're in dreamland.

I'm just a huge jobber.
(Huge jobber)
I will not win the match
(the matchhhhh)
I'm just a huge jobber
(Huge jobber)
I job to Triple H
(Triple H)

I'm feuding with Trips girls.
Hands off the remotes

I'm just a old has-been.
(Has-been)
I job like Funaki
(Fu-nakiiiiiii)
I'm just a huge jobber
(Huge jobber)
I job to Triple H
(Triple H)

I am so damn over.
(Damn over)
But I lose all my matches
(My matchessssssss)
I'm just a huge jobber
(Huge jobber)
I job to Triple H
(Triple H)

I'm just an old has-been.
(old has-been)
The Blood Bank's enemy.
(enemyyyyyyyyyy)
I'm feuding with Trips here
(Trips here)
So please let me job
(me jobbbbbbbbb)

[Goldbird]

lmao. pretty lame effort of mine :-\

Who's that falling down the sky
B-I-G Big Show's down!
Here we go
When the armpit is out
The girls they pass out
The boys just black out
Better faint out

Go!
Off the big sky
Look out below
The next thing ya' know
You'll be on the floor
Watcha' gonna do
When your on your back
From the fall off the sky
Aww damn your whack

You're like "What the Heck,
all of a sudden this 500 pounds sittin' on my neck!
Where's the ref?!"

Straight from the sky
Know how much trouble you see
When you face the big slow

Chokeslammin' and slowarooni' and doin' it slow
You can't remove the slow
Why?
'Cause he's not the big slow for nth


Who's that falling down the sky
B-I-G Big Show's down!
Here we go
When the armpit is out
The girls they pass out
The boys just black out
Better faint out

[big_bluto]

Hardcore Holly steals HHH's tune with slightly different words...
Time to pay your dues.....

[big_bluto]

Can we get a permanent sticky on this thread or something?
Even it's own forum would be good!

[Corkscrewed]

I think c4g2 and Goldbird have this one figured out. That's what I was aiming for. :rofl: at those two! Genius! :lol:

[c4g2]

I think c4g2 and Goldbird have this one figured out. That's what I was aiming for. :rofl: at those two! Genius! :lol:
So any points for us? :p :D

[Corkscrewed]

they're coming, I'm going to let this run a tad longer. :)

[Favre4Ever]

duuuuUUUUUUUUUU-N!

NO CHANCE
Fuck, thats all I got(Baw warrr-war-war dun dun dun-un-un)
Cannot build a Hoss too strong
Crazy JBL, his characters gone all wrong
PUPPETS!
You'll find that place in time.......
When my PPV's were all worth buying, now.....
Its just a nickel or a dime!

You've got....NO CHANCE.....(duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nawr)
NO CHANCE IN HELL!!
You've got...NO CHANCE......

[c4g2]

And, classic Trips!!! :D

---------------------------------------------

It's time to job to me
Time to job to me!
Hahahahaha
Hahaha

It's all about the match, and how you job it
All about titles, and if I can win it
All about your debt, and if you can pay it
It's the Pedigree, and who's gonna sell it...

I am the game, you don't wanna play me
I am the champ, no way you can change it
I have a big nose, no way you can stop it
So better lay down, for that 1 -2-3.

Look over your shoulder, ready to run
Like a good little bitch, from a smoking gun
I am the champ, and I make the rules
I feud with Shawn, and you can wait for your turn
Try and figure out what the moves are gonna be
Come on over sucker, why don't you ask me?
Kneelift, low blow and a pedigree.
'Cuz its invincible and you gonna sell it.

It's time to play the game...
Hahahaha
Time to play the game!

It's all about the match, and how you job it
All about titles, and if I can win it
All about your debt, and if you can pay it
It's the Pedigree, and who's gonna sell it...

I am the game, you don't wanna play me
I am the champ, no way you can change it
I have a big nose, no way you can stop it
So better lay down, for that 1 -2-3.

Feud with me, you're gonna be the same
You're gonna job to me, for that 1-2-3
Hahahahaha
Time to job to me!

It's time to job to me...
It's time for Pedigree...
It's time to 1-2-3...
Hahahahaha

Time to job to me!
Hahahahaha

------------------------------------
How was it?

[c4g2]

*bump*

[big_bluto]

BEST THREAD EVER!
:y:

[c4g2]

I love this scene... Lots of inspiration for me :D

[Goldbird]

The wonder of Lita is gone and botched it for sure
All the botches that I want I've found in her
As she botches becomes a part I strike to learn
The botches return.

Every wrestler fails to overcome Lita's botches
One more botch turned around and back again.
Finding I'm more lost than found when she's botching again
When she's not botching I feel it coming down

Chorus:
Get me what I could never ask for
Tell me when Lita will not botch
Give me the drug you know I'm after
That will let Lita not to botch again!!!

[/kane]

[big_bluto]

Test returns to Raw with a slightly-changed version of Bohemian Rhapsody:


Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a live show-
No escape to reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
A flying lucha, he's gonna land on me-
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
Beaten high, beaten low,
Anyway the job's go, doesn’t really matter to me,
Jobbee...

McMahon, just jobbed again,
Got a leg-dropped on my head,
I rolled over, pinned again,
McMahon, when will my turn come?
But now I’ve gone and got injured again-
Hardy ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you fly-
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow-
Get your drugs, from D'Von, as it doesn't really matter-

Too late, my time has gone,
Get tremors down my spine-
Body’s aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody - I’ve got to go-
Gotta leave Live RAW behind, and face the truth-
I SUCK ooo-
I don’t want to cry,
I sometimes wish I’d never had to job at all-

I see a little silhouette of a jobber
Strawberry mousse, strawberry mousse,
Can you do the pump handle?
Scott Steiner fighting, very un-frightening,

Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Stacy Keibler, Let me job.

Mister Bischoff has a jobbing put aside for me,
for me......
for me.......


But I’m just a hoss, and nobody loves me-
He’s just a poor hoss from a poor family-
Spare him his job to this monstrosity-
Hairy come, Hairy go-, will you let me go-
A-Train! no-,we will not let you job-let him job-
Oh A-Train! we will not let you job-let him job
Oh A-Train! we will not let you job-let me job
Will not let you job-let me job
Will not let you job-let me job
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mr McMahon, Mr McMahon, mr McMahon let me job-
Mister Bischoff has a jobbing put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can slam me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can choke me and drop from on high-
Oh Stacy -show's your ass again, Stacy-
Just gotta get down -get me backstage for some beer -

Jobbing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Jobbing really matters-, jobbing really matters to me,

Where have all my testicles gone....

[Corkscrewed]

Okay, stop it right there. Bluto wins. 10,000 points for him, and 5000 points also to Goldbird and c4g2, who would have won, but c'mon. Bluto did freaking BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY! :y: :y: :y: :rofl:


Vince Russo versions of movie classics.

(hint: think swerves)

[Nowhere Man]

Wow. Bluto has written himself a masterpiece.

[Nowhere Man]

Scarlett O'Hara: Oh, but Rhett, don't go. Whatever will become of me?

Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn......Because I'm addicted to drugs and can't get an erection yet am somehow the father of your baby.

[Goldbird]

lol i finally get myself some points :P

I will skip this round since I dont know anything about Vince Russo.

[Xero]

Vader: Luke, I am NOT your father!
Luke: Then, who is?
**Chewbaca walks in**
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Nowhere Man]

Vader: Luke, I am NOT your father!
Luke: Then, who is?
**Chewbaca walks in**
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NICE :y: :D :y:

[Corkscrewed]

Scarlett O'Hara: "Rhett don't go... whatever will become of me?"
Rhett Butler: "No. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn... about you..." *KICK*
Jim Ross: "Baw gawd stunner on Scarlett! Stunner on Scarlett!!! Damn you sonofabitch Rhett Butler!! Why??? WHYYYY????!!!!"

[loopydate]

*In the middle of the dentist scene from Marathon Man*

RUSSO: Hey, guys.
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: *Muffled* What the fuck?
RUSSO: I thought I'd just put myself in this scene. Trust me, it'll improve ratings.
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: *Muffled* I really don't think--
RUSSO: Trust me, man. I'm single-handedly responsible for the Attitude era, so my presence here will make this movie a classic. ...where's the T&A?

[Esoteric]

* On The beach of Vietnam after battle in Apocalypse Now *
*Lt. Col. Kilgore crouches down and begins to touch the sand*
Kilgore: You smell that? Do you smell that?... Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end...
*Jeff Jarrett sneaks up and hits him with a guitar *
Jeff : Heard you wanted to come to TNA, well TNA just came to you
*Jeff runs off and everyone is thinking WTF *

[91]

*Scene opens on a grainy black and white airfield*

Rick: "My letter of transit? I could use a trip. But it doesn't make any difference about our bet. You still owe me ten thousand francs."
Louis: "And that ten thousand francs should pay our expenses."
Rick: "Our expenses!""
Louis: "Uh huh".
Rick: "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful... ugghhh, ngghh...."

Rick collapses to the ground clutching his stomach where he's just been shot. Louis stands over him laughing maniacally.

Rick: "Why.... wh... why?"

We don't find out as we're out of time (natch), but switch to Casablanca 2...

*Louis whips off a mask to reveal Sam*

Sam: "It was Blaine, it was me all along!"

*Rick, now recovering fine from his life threatening injuries, looks mad.*

Sam: "And I shall use these ten thousand francs to get myself... fame? Power? Women? No, a shot at Lou Theszs NWA heavyweight title, and there's nothing you can do about it, AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Several naked laides then accompany Sam onto a plane and have sex with him and Sams short, fat, ugly, bearded New Yorker friend that actually stood in the foreground for the entire last scene.

[Mr. Nerfect]

*The Sixth Sex* (Sixth Sense parody)
Boy (Talking Hand): I see dead lesbians.
Man (In women's clothing): Really?
Boy: Yes, somehow one inpregnated my mother, and now I'm here with this ability.
Man: You're joking!
Boy: No, it haunts me everyday and evernight. Well not everynight, cause...you know. Goodie goodies.

[big_bluto]

A Few Good Men

Tom Cruise (Kaffee): Colonel, I ask you one last time, is wrestling fake?
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers?
Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I think I'm entitled.
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You want answers?
Tom Cruise (Kaffee): I want the truth!
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): You can't handle the truth!

Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Ultimo Dragon, and you curse the McMahons. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Sean O'Haire's release, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at parties, you don't want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent producing wrestling. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very product I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a remote, order a PPV, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!


And I had to add in this one.........


Titanic

Kate Winslet (Rose): I love you Jack.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes.
Kate Winslet (Rose): I'm so cold.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): I don't know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this. You're gonna go on, and make lots of babies, and watch them grow. You're gonna die an old lady, warm in her bed. Not here, not this night. Do you understand me? Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.
Kate Winslet (Rose): I promise.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Never let go.
Kate Winslet (Rose): I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): And if Smackdown ever gets any better, tape it for me.
Kate Winslet (Rose): It'll never happen, Jack.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Damn you WWE! *drowns*

[Ferocious]

Leonardo: Thats it right there, step up

Kate: Jack your crazy

Leonardo: OK Gimmee your hands, open them up right here.

Kate: Like this?

Leonardo: There thats it Rose now open your eyes.

Kate: OMG Jack I'm flying.

(Jack pushes Rose over the top rung of boat deck to win the Admiral Rumble 2004.)

King: WOOO JR He did it Jack did it. And He'll now go on to Deckscrubbermania XXI to face the Captain of the ship.

JR: OMG in all my years in this business I've never seen a shooting star press quite like that, of all the low down dirty tricks.................

[Ferocious]

ARGGGGGGGGGH BLUTO YOU BASTARD I WAS DOING TITANIC, DONT TYPE SO FAST

[big_bluto]

ARGGGGGGGGGH BLUTO YOU BASTARD I WAS DOING TITANIC, DONT TYPE SO FAST
:lol:
Your's is better than mine anyway, so don't worry!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Ferocious! :lol:

WWE Superhero Ideas (Besides The Hurricane)

[Corkscrewed]

(do heroes... after this one, I'm going to give a chance for supervillains)

[loopydate]

KID #1: Earth!
KID #2: Wind!
KID #3: Water!
KID #4: Fire!
KID #5: Heart!

VOICE: When your powers combine, I am--

KIDS: Triple H?!? We wanted Captain Planet!

HHH: No, you didn't. I'm the greatest superhero there is.

KID #3: No, you're not. You're lazy, and your mic skills have become subpar.
KID #2: And you have an ugly face.

VOICE: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ric Flair comes in and kills the kids.

HHH: Jesus, Naitch, why'd you do that?

FLAIR: He said "face!"

[Xero]

Narrator: Wrestler/manager by night, superhero to wrestling by day. Protecting buissness lingo from outsiders, it's... WRESTLING LINGO MAN!

Kid1: You know, I hate Chris Jericho as a heel, he's so... **Gets shot in the head with lasers**
Kid2: AHHH! RUN! HOLY SHIT IT'S WRESTLING LINGO MA... **Gets shot in the head with lasers**

WLM: That's Mr. WLM to you!

Vince: My hero! **Bats eyelashes**

Narrator: Yes, Wrestling Lingo Man. Never again will someone outside of the buissness use words like heel, face, pop, job... **We hear a laser shooting**

WLM: That includes you, too... WOOOOO! I, I mean, YESSS! (Under his breath) That was close...

[Ferocious]

Awesome Man:

If I could see a superhero, I would see Awesome Man. He'd fly around the world fighting crime according to his Awesome Plan. And if he saw criminals trying to lie, hurting other people and making them cry. He'd haul them off to jail in his Awesome Van, For he would be Awesome Man.

Immigration Dude:

If I could see a superhero I'd see Immigration Dude. He'd send all the foreigners back to their homes for eating up all of our food. Taking our welfare and best jobs to boot, like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit. He'd pass a load of laws to get rid of their brood, for he'd be immigration dude.

[Esoteric]

Awesome Man:

If I could see a superhero, I would see Awesome Man. He'd fly around the world fighting crime according to his Awesome Plan. And if he saw criminals trying to lie, hurting other people and making them cry. He'd haul them off to jail in his Awesome Van, For he would be Awesome Man.

Immigration Dude:

If I could see a superhero I'd see Immigration Dude. He'd send all the foreigners back to their homes for eating up all of our food. Taking our welfare and best jobs to boot, like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit. He'd pass a load of laws to get rid of their brood, for he'd be immigration dude.
Steven Lynch quoting nice... u forgot the last one i forgot his name payback man or some shit like that

[Ferocious]

Justice Guy, I also left out Drug Free Boy

[c4g2]

*bump*

:D

[Mr. Nerfect]

*Game Man*
A man with the ability to create invisible barriers, ceilings and crucifixes. He also has amazing pursuasion powers. It is believed he also has a heightened sense of smell.

[Funky Fly]

5 Star Match Man: After being bitten by a radioactive rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit gained the completely unrelated ability to pull 5 star matches out of even the most worthless of opponents. Now he uses his powers to singlehandedly save wrestling from its ultimate destruction. Watch in AMAZEMENT as Benoit vs Hulk Hogan, Chris Benoit vs The Goon and Chris Benoit vs Mae Young's hand-baby are all selected as match of the year candidates.

However, his one crippling weakness is the the man known as the "living airtime blackhole", none other than the diabolical Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man.

GCPIM: Greetings-uh, 5 Star Man-uh.

5 Star Man: Cut the crap, ceiling boy! Prepare to have the best match of your life... and you WILL sell for me.

GCPIM: Oh no-uh! :eek:

*5 Star Match Man pulls the most beautiful 25 minutes of wrestling ever out of Tripl- er, Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man. :shifty: *

*Just when it seems that our hero's victory is assured, GCPIM ascends above the glass ceiling he installed earlier and cuts the longest, most verbally masturbatory promo in history and puts 5 Star Man into a deep sleep*

*GCPIM quickly and quietly scoops up our hero and takes him above (yes, above) the ceiling and then delivers the pedigr- er... Double Underhook Glass Drop DDT :shifty: to 5 Star Man off the glass ceiling*

All seems lost. Will our hero survive? Will he be able to kick out of that devastating finisher? Will his title reign be given air time? Find out tomorrow: Same Crippler Time, Same Crippler Channel.

*end credits music plays*
<embed src="http://www.zetnet.co.uk/sigs/search/batman2.mid" autoplay=false>

[Mr. Nerfect]

If Funky Fly does not win, I will be seriously upset. :mad:

That was hilarious. :lol:

[Jonster]

If Funky Fly does not win, I will be seriously upset. :mad:

That was hilarious. :lol:
Indeed.

[Corkscrewed]

Aw shit, 1000000000000000000000000000 points to Funky Fly! loopy gets 1000 for second place. :lol:


WWE SuperVillains

[Funky Fly]

Aw shit, 1000000000000000000000000000 points to Funky Fly! loopy gets 1000 for second place. :lol:


WWE SuperVillains
Thanks. :o

[Mr. Nerfect]

Dammit, Game Man could have been a supervillian. Alright I'll try one.

*McMahonman*
The arc rival of almost every hero in the WWE universe. McMahonman has unlimited wealth and can put up a fight of his own. He has two offspring with a mere human. They are Stephanie McMahon-Banshee and Insane McMahon. McMahonman was origianlly the rival of The Texas Rattlesnake, but moved on to a more universal scale, and then used his unlimited wealth to purchase several companies. McMahonman uses big bodyguards, and uses his hosses to prevent any technical marvels gaining recognition for his broadcasts. His power strut lets him walk faster than the normal man.

[PorkSoda]

Triple H. 'Nuff Said.

[loopydate]

Two wrestlers are working a match in the ring. One hits an amazing shooting star press, but there's no reaction.

WORKER #1: What's going on? The crowd should be jumping!
WORKER #2: This can only be the work of...

Begin opening montage.

ANNOUNCER: The Heat Vacuum!

Theme music kicks in.

ANNOUNCER: By day, Sean Waltman is a mild-mannered scrawny little loser who used to date that big chick from Playboy. But, by night he becomes... Echo-y voice The Heat Vacuum!

Vacuum-Pac does a run-in on the workers' match.

ANNOUNCER: Able to silence an entire audience with a single appearance!

Vacuum-Pac fights Chris Jericho.

ANNOUNCER: Able to draw a lackluster match from even the top talents!

Vacuum-Pac flexes in the mirror.

ANNOUNCER: More pitiful than a Jeff Hardy fan!

Vacuum-Pac stands triumphant in the midst of a sleeping arena.

ANNOUNCER: He's...the Heat Vacuum!

[Funky Fly]

*opening credits music plays*
<embed src="http://www.zetnet.co.uk/sigs/search/batman2.mid" autoplay=false>

On the Last episode of the 5 Star Match Man show, our hero...

*thud*

Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man: Shut up, announcer guy. On the last episode-uh of the Glass Ceiling how-uh, You all saw me hit the double underhook glass drop DDT on that piece of crap, 5 Star-uh. Look at him, he's lying there like a little bitch. Where's your hero now? Hell, the only reason that match was so good was because I carried him through it. Frankly-uh, you wouldn't know a good match-uh if it happened right in front of you-uh. You people-uh and your 3458 submission moves, your 25 flip shooting star presses and your bone-crushing suplexes make me sick-uh. All I'll ever need-uh is this.

*GCPIM cuts his hand with a knife, letting the blood touch the ground and utters a muffled chant*

*suddenly the ground rips asunder and hellfire and blood billow out of the hole*

*then the most ungodly weapon in existence, The Accursed Hammer of Pestilence, rises from the pits of hell and flies into GCPIM's hand*

http://isoc.nl/michiel/hcc/sledgehammer.jpg

GCPIM: You know, legend has it that a single blow from this hammer will instantly kill a man's career, all while making the wielder invincible (except for a nagging quad injury :shifty: ). So, tonight, right here, in Buttfuck, USA, I will end your precious Hero's career.

Random fan: Hey-uh, what happenned-uh to you saying "uh" at the end of every other word-uh?

GCPIM: That's a good question, you see...

*3 days later*

GCPIM: And that is why I'll be the longest reigning champion ever. Anyway, it's time to kill 5 Star Match Man's career.

*raises Hammer of Pestilence, 5 Star Man perks up instantly and pins GCPIM with an inside cradle*

*the crowd, who inexplicably stayed in their seats for 3 days straight, erupt and the entire locker room gets in the ring to celebrate with our hero*

*they each take turns using the Accursed Hammer on the Glass Ceiling Panel Installer Man before using it on the glass ceiling itself and wrestling is saved*

[El Santo]

Nunzio: "Rey, step here a second."

Rey: "Hey, what's going on, my friend?"

Nunzio: "Shhh! I have it on good authority that there's a supervillain loose in the arena."

Rey: "A what? You mean John Cena?"

Nunzio: "No, dumbass! I said 'superVILLAIN', not 'superVANILLA'. Anyway, the creature is not even human. It latches onto anyone... women, old men... and after it sucks to heat out of them and susbesequently emits a 'credibility destruction' aura that affects all cruiserweights, it grows bored, and its host disappears forever. It's known as the Alien Symbiote."

Rey: "WHAT? This ... this symbiote... what does it look like?"

Nunzio: "It disguises itself as the cruiserweight belt. We have to act quickly before it's too late for Chavo Sr.!"

Rey: "But ... but I just won the belt from him last Smackd---... AGHHHHH! AGGHHHH!!!! NOOO!!!!!!!"

Nunzio: "Rey! What's happened to you? Rey... OH MY GOD!!! GET AWAY!!!!!! GET AWAY!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

[big_bluto]

*bumpage*

[Nowhere Man]

Citizens of the world, cower in fear! For in the darkest shadows of the world, lies an evil mind so hideous, that he can bend the very fabric of reality and common logic! It's......

SWERVO THE HORRIBLE

Swervo: Mr. President, I hope you have sent the ransom money to stop me from detonating this nuclear bomb, because......SWERVE! otherwise I'm going to force sex on your mother! Ah-hahahahahahaha!

President: This is insane! Get the Justice League, NOW!

**Justice League flies to Swervo's lair**

Superman: It's time to pay for what you've done, Swervo....SWERVE! my lost twin brother!!!

Swervo: Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we?

Batman: You heard the man, now it's time to pay the price....SWERVE!

**Batman brutally attacks Robin**

Robin: What the hell are you doing?!

SWERVE!

Batman: You slept with my sister, you son of a bitch!

Robin: That's impossible! Because.....I'M GAY!

.....

....wait, that doesn't get a SWERVE ?

Wonder Woman: No, we all pretty much already knew that.

Aquaman: Yeah, you dirty fag, go listen to show tunes or some other queer shit like that.

Black Vulcan: Can it, Aquaman. Over-compensating isn't going to help.

The Wonder Twins: Wait, who the hell are you?!

Superman: Swervo, you devious trickster! I'm going to give you the beating of your life!....SWERVE!.....as soon as I kick my addiction to diet pills!

***

Will our heroes survive this horrible ordeal? What about the bomb that Swervo is threatening the President with? Join us next time, when SWERVE! we find out that Wonder Woman is pregnant.....with Swervo's baby!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO! Nowhere Man just stole the show. We're going to have to wait for a replacement.

*replacement comes*

Okay, that was easy. After giving 10,000 points to N.M., the next scene is...

Things a wrestler might whisper into the ear of a romantic date.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Stone Cold Steve Austin: I wouldn't let me get this close.

The Hurricane: Stand back there's a hurricane coming through.

JBL: Hail Hitler.

Jim Ross: BAHGAWDBBQSAUCE! (in a quite voice)

Jerry Lawler: Puppies!

Mick Foley: *Starts chewing on ear*

Triple H: So Steff, how about that title?

[Innovator]

Jericho: Wanna make the Highlight Reel?

Brock: *softer then it gets louder* here cOmeS THE PAIN!

[Corkscrewed]

Okay, guys, ONE SCENE PER REPLY. Alienoid did 7, Innovator did 2. It doesn't work that way. ;)

[Mr. Nerfect]

Okay, guys, ONE SCENE PER REPLY. Alienoid did 7, Innovator did 2. It doesn't work that way. ;)

Oh OK. Sorry I misunderstood. I was thinking you wanted some of the things some wrestlers could say. My wrong. :$

[laydownlow]

At the movies

Rock: You take your candy ass up to the concession stand and buy the rock a slice of poontang pie. And when you get back you can lay the smack down on my "jabroni" if you smeellllalalalalaaa what the rock is ....

Date: Damn I'll get my own soda.

[Favre4Ever]

Date: Oh God Jim, come closer............

JR: BAHGODICANTBELIEVEIMGETTINGLAIDSTUNNERSTUNNERTWOCOUNTMCMAHONDAMMITTOHELLTAKEOFFMYHATOLYMPICSLAMTWOFA CEDGOVERMENTMULESCREWJOBBAHGAWD!!!!!!!!

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>Zach Gowen: Wanna see my second leg?

[Ferocious]

Test, You know what they say about guys with big feet ;) They wear big socks.

[big_bluto]

A date with the Big Show:

Scenario:
Candle lit dinner for two, exclusive restaurant, Big Show is having a date with a total fan. This girl is hot, foxy and dressed provocatively, and is totally dying to get into Show's pants.
They're eating food, drinking wine, and exchanging meaningful glances across the table, she's trying to play footsie, he doesn't notice because he's too busy eating the desert trolley, and as they leave, she walks alongside him with her hand on his ass, explaining to him in great detail how she is going to take him back to her room, and do lots and lots of depraved and perverted things to him, how it'll be a night he'll never forget, how she's already turned on, etc.

So they get back to the room, and she starts to undress, silk stockings, etc, not much else on really, gorgeous figure and Show is getting ready for it.
She pushes him back on the bed, nice and gentle, and explains to him how she can't wait for foreplay, but has to have him now, and the Big Show delivers the classic line;

" Can you make sure you shove my belly back up towards my chest, otherwise it'll slide back down and push you off my knob"

[c4g2]

Now what is the topic?

I dunno, but my computer locks up everytime I try to load Page 16. Someone tell me the topic and I'll get cracking on it.

[big_bluto]

How would you get into Kane Knights pants if you were a WWE wrestler.:shifty:

Nah.....it's:

Things a wrestler might whisper into the ear of a romantic date.

[Nowhere Man]

Kane: Hey, baby, I see the rigor mortis is really kicking in....

[Corkscrewed]

Oh OK. Sorry I misunderstood. I was thinking you wanted some of the things some wrestlers could say. My wrong. :$

It's cool. I say things because if I said "thing" then I'd only be asking for one reply... total. Just wait for someone to post one of his before you post another one of yours. :p

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>Renee: Shall I show you my.... how do you Americans say... My "supersize French fry?"
<font size=1>credit where credit is due, the idea came from other person's caption, yet I can't remember who did it.</font>

[loopydate]

Matt and Lita at the end of the night.

MATT: I love you so much, Lita.
LITA: Yeah?
MATT: Yeah.
LITA: Well, I've got a secret for you.
MATT: Whisper it in my ear...

She leans in close...

LITA: I WANT YOU SO BAD!!! TAKE ME NOW!!!

Yes, kids, Lita even botches whispering...

[Rock Bottom]

Rock: Psst. Hey.
Date: What?
Rock: Let The Rock whisper in your ear, and seduce you, sending electricity running through your veins.
Date: *Brings her head up from between Rock's legs* ?

[FourFifty]

Matt and Lita at the end of the night.

MATT: I love you so much, Lita.
LITA: Yeah?
MATT: Yeah.
LITA: Well, I've got a secret for you.
MATT: Whisper it in my ear...

She leans in close...

LITA: I WANT YOU SO BAD!!! TAKE ME NOW!!!

Yes, kids, Lita even botches whispering...
<font color=cyan> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: YOU RULE!

[PorkSoda]

Waiter: So, you'd like chicken wings and barbaque sauce what would you like?
Date: Hmm..get me the Fried Chicken Steak Tips and the sauce, and for dessert, lets get the Slobberknocker Sauce.
JR: (In Dates Ear) I've got your slobberknocker right here below the belt, yes ma'am, tonight is going to be on hellacious night when you and I step into the ring and get it on.

[Corkscrewed]

<font color=cyan>Renee: Shall I show you my.... how do you Americans say... My "supersize French fry?"
<font size=1>credit where credit is due, the idea came from other person's caption, yet I can't remember who did it.</font>

That would be the almighty El Santo.

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>HHH: I can give you a real big "push" if you play with my "game."

[Corkscrewed]

7000 points to Always450 for his Zach Gowen comment. Great one-liner.

Cheesy wrestling catchphrsases.

[Ferocious]

Stay in the Back - Theres a Hurricane coming through

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl:

[Disturbed316]

rofl

[Nowhere Man]

Stay in the Back - Theres a Hurricane coming through

Oh Lord, not again.

[big_bluto]

If you smeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllll what the Rock is cooking!

WTF? You never see him cooking!

[Disturbed316]

Lets go Head Cheese! *clap clap clap* Lets go Head Cheese! *clap clap clap*

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Heil Hitler." -JBL :shifty:

Nah, OK. How about Hogan's brother eating vitamins and praying in bed one.

[Xero]

Real ones
I am the Game-uh... And I am that damn good-uh! ~Triple H
It's true, it's true! ~Kurt Angle

Made up
IF YA SMELLLLL... What the rock, is eating! ~Rock
Stay in the back! There's a head of cheese coming through! ~HeadCheese
Oh you didnt know? Your ass betta get up and run awayyyy-ayyyy! ~NAO

[Favre4Ever]

And this is as cheesy as they get.

WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT? WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?

(Edit: My post was number 666! Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN)

[Corkscrewed]

Guys, this is a game where you make up things, not a poll, so you're supposed to make up your own.

[Ferocious]

How about this Corky,

Quit playing around and Just Jiggle. *pulls all body parts in a vertical line and jiggles*

[Xero]

And thats the way it is, squeeky! **Squeezes rubber duck**

[c4g2]

Can you suck it, digga?

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>"What I'd like to have right now... is for all you fat, out-of-shape, inner-city sweat hogs to keep the noise down while I take my robe off, and show these ladies what a real man is <i>supposed</i> to look like!"

Okay, it's not really cheesy, but come on, it's Rick Rude, damn it.

[Xero]

I HAVE AD... Hey, thats a pretty flower!

[Chuck Jones]

Reverend D-Von after converting to the Catholic religion:

"I no longer want your sins, I want your young Boys!"

[Gone Mad]

Kanyon: WHO BETTA THAN...

(a giant list falls in front of him)

(reading it) Oh..really? He's betta than me?.. And him? ..X-PAC?!

[Ferocious]

Kanyon: WHO BETTA THAN...

(a giant list falls in front of him)

(reading it) Oh..really? He's betta than me?.. And him? ..X-PAC?!
:nono: :mad: :foc:

[Vastardikai]

Pass the Bologna!

[HankScorpio]

"if ya smell, what RVD's been smoking"

[Champion of Europa]

Hulk Hogan: Rock, when you step into the ring to fight me, it's going to be like painting a picture. I will start out with some pink and make a big streak down the canvas, but oh no, I made a mistake. I have to start all over, but there is no more canvas left! Cmon audience, chant it with me! Then I go down to the Home Depot and ask the guy behind the counter for some paint remover! He says its in aisle 5! Cmon, say it with me now! So I walk down to aisle 5, and I can't find it. I find the paint thinner, but no paint remover! So I go back to the guy behind the counter and he says that he messed up, and it was in aisle 3! So I go down to aisle 3 and pick up the paint remover! I go to the check out and he says the paint remover is, cmon everybody, say it with me, $4.50! I have a $5.00 so he gives me 50 cents in change! So I go back to the painting and remove the pink streak, and then I begin painting my picture of pain. Then, suddenly, I realize I forgot to wear my smock, and I got some paint on my new white t-shirt! So I immeaditely rush it down to the laundry mat and throw some bleach on it to make it all better! It's in the washer, and I'm waiting and I'm waiting, thinking of the pain I will inflict on you, Rock! Then I throw it in the dryer, and I am waiting, thinking of what I should buy at the supermarket tonight, and of the pain I will put you through! Cmon, everybody with me now! I take out the white t-shirt, and realize it has shrunk, and I'm mad! So I angrily drive back, cutting a man off on the street because of my anger, Rock! I park and climb up my stairs and continue my painting, with my smock! I finally finish, it is a puppy.

[Corkscrewed]

I liked Chuck Jones's Catholic jab. Sorry fellas. :D

1000 points to that guy.



If WWE wrestlers were in video games.

Like... non-wrestling video games. I.E. Triple H = Bowser. Yeah.

[Chuck Jones]

A-Train: The Game

Make your choice between Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, or Chris Jericho, and make your way up the glass ceiling, avoiding obstacles such as false pushes, trap doors, Evolution Kool-Aid, and Stephanie, until you get to the top and have to wrestle A-Train. Once you beat him, HHH comes out, Pedigrees you, and casts you back down to lower card hell!

Fun for everyone!

[Xero]

WWE Krazy Kart Karnage starring JBL!

[Jonster]

Metal Gear HHH.

After no-selling all the guards throughout the game and using his trusty sledgehammer to fell them.
Whenever he faces a boss, he may blade himself, but then uses the pedigree to finish them off.
When finally he faces off against Metal Gear Ray, he throws it an evil look and it falls over.
But then he discovers that it was being piloted by his genetic twin brother, and a battle on top of the fallen Metal Gear begins.
For all eternity.
As they refuse to sell for each other.
They also no-sell the bomb that has been set too.

Sorry if that spoiled it for anyone, but the story is at least 5 years old now...

[Mr. Nerfect]

Super Nunzio Brothers

Explore the back playing as Nunzio and his "twin brother" Stamboli. Collect mushrooms for your pizza and jump on the heads of backstage jobbers. At the end of every level, reach the spa and dodge Rene Dupree's attacks and jump on the head of Fifi, to make the ground underneath the French Phenom collapse. Then take the French flag and replace it wih the Italian flag, and save the sizzling Dawn Marie from the French Tickler.

[Gone Mad]

Hurricane: the Game -

You'll want to stay in the back and play this game. You play the legendary superhero as he fights all of his enemies: HHH and the Sinister Kliq. Fight along side Helms and his friends S.H.I.T and Mr. Invisible (Stevie Richards) and try to make it on the big show without getting caught using talent or else it's back to dark matches with you. Weapons include blow-up Steph and a picture of Henry O. Godwin.

From the creators of "Smackdown 28:BAWGAWDBROKENINHALFBARBQUESAUCE!"

[c4g2]

Try the Kart Angel for only $25.99!

(obvious jab at sexymanalive)

[Corkscrewed]

lmao! Some quality stuff here! Keep it up! :y:

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan><strike>Lita's Game
If you can get past the controls (she just HAD to help program them) your goal is to go through a whole match, without messing up.
Many people said it is impossible... Well, since your controls change at random to ensure future botching. </strike>
That sucked.

The Great Escape
Staring Sean O'Haire
Punished for being too talented and too over with the the fans, the evil king Triple H punishes you by putting you in a cage suspended above the ring. One night, right before a hell in the cell match, the bottom of the cage gives out.
In this 3D world you first have to find your way to the back to seek revenge... Steal Hunter's Cream Filling and take a leek in the evolution kool-aid! After that you need to run to Japan while keeping an internet base of fans who would cream their pants if Sean ever came back to wrestle in the states.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Grand Theft Push: WWE

You take the role of former Australian convict Nathan Jones in an effort to get to the top of the WWE. The Undertaker helps you learn your way around, and from there you have to get yourself more over by stealing pushes from innocent and more talented wrestlers by winning squash matches. Eventually, your good work will pay off and you will be put into a main-event caliber match at Survivor Series.</font>

[Favre4Ever]

The Legend of Orton: Link to the Past

When an evil Chairman from another realm takes over Ortons city in hopes of turning all of the talent to his side, Randy Orton, a farm boy whos name holds no merit, is the only one who has the power to stop the Chairmans capitalistic ways!!!!

Travel the kingdom, collecting clues as you go. Steal the three Big Pushes (Benjamin, Jericho, Beniot) in order to go to the castle and battle the Chairman for your missing push!!!

When your health is full, RKO's are twice as powerful. Wrestlers that you should never beat will fall to your every move. When low on health, fairie Triple H's will return all of your hearts. Have a Wild Time with The Legend of Orton!!!

Doctor's Warning: Playing this game could inflate your ego to insurmountable proportions. Stay away from Family Members, Household Appliances and Federation Titles while playing this game.

[Favre4Ever]

What happened here? Did this thread die? DONT LET IT DIE CORKY!!!!!!!!!

[Outsider]

Vince McMahon in EWR: Revenge

Basically it's EWR, but the aim isn't to take the bottom company to the top, but instead take the top company to the bottom

[Corkscrewed]

Yeah... okay. Sorry guys, I've been pretty busy lately, so I apologize for the lack of new scenes.

I wasn't really feeling any of the offers, so no points this time. Sorry, but remember, just like Kenzo Suzuki's promos, points don't matter!



Unique ways for a renegade Sean O'Haire to kill people.

[Shadow]

Shove Mop down someone's throat.

[c4g2]

Put some powdery anthrax spores onto some cream filling and hope the filling is vanilla.

[Outsider]

By making them disappear to the realm of no return that also claimed his push and the WWE's ratings

[Chuck Jones]

Using the dirty sheets that the WWE gave him to sleep with, and hanging someone from the bottom of his cage.

[loopydate]

By telling them something they actually didn't know!

[Xero]

Smash their head between the cage and the door...

[Mr. Nerfect]

Smash them through the Glass Ceiling, down into the Dog House with the carnivorous dog that eats talent (coincidently named "Hunter"). :shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

It'd be nice if you guys... ya know... acted out these scenes, instead of just listing them.

Geez, they post books when I want one liners, then post lists when I want scenes... Wait, did I just write that out? Crap. Um... carry on guys. :shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

Okay, so much for that...


WWE-themed candy.

[Xero]

Kaneanites: Pop Rocks WWE style...

Announcer: KIDS! Are you tired of the same old boring candy?
Kids: YEAH!
Announcer: Well, buy some KANEANITES! They explode when you eat em!
Kid: **Takes a bite** AHH! AHH! MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE! AHHH!
Announcer: Yes, now you too can be burned on the inside, just like Kane!

[big_bluto]

Buy JR's special unique BBQ flavoured Candy!
It'll make you freak out!
BAHGAWDIT'SACOMPLETESUGARSENSATIONTASTESLIKEBBQSAUCECOVEREDGOVERNMENTMULE!

[Xero]

Eugene's Yummy, Weird Tasting Balloons!

Eugene: **Chews on one** This tastes funny... **Thumbs up**

[loopydate]

Eat Goobers! The only candy snack named for the WWE Writing Staff!

[Esoteric]

Announcer : For a limited time kids be just like RVD with his five star special brownies
RVD: Yeah little dudes I eat one before every match
Announcer: Thats right kids be just like RVD have one before Smackdown and Raw avaliable at all fine stores......until they realize whats in it

[Transplant]

The Boss Pushpops

They push themself up when you suck on them.
Remember: The Boss - Will Only Push If You Start Sucking

[c4g2]

Booker candy

Suck them! Then at the five time five time five time you will know what it is to be like to spinarooni!

Now, can you suck that, digga? :foc:

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Transplant! :lol: That was just what I was looking for!


If Lita was Speaker of the House.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Lita: I would like to announce pregnilocity under crampties of nasal and naval forsees carrot grown ups....and Matt.....Kane..........forsees carrot grown ups.

Person in Audience: She botched it didn't she?

Other Person in Audience: *Nods*

[Corkscrewed]

:lol:

[loopydate]

Gavel pounds.

LITA: I would like to call this session of the Rouse of Hepresentatives to order!
MAJ. LEADER: "House of Representatives."
LITA: Right. The chair recognizes the representative from the state of Missipippi.
MO REP: Um, it's "Mississippi." And I'm the representative from Missouri. Mississippi isn't my state.
LITA: (In exact same emotionless tone as she's said everything else so far) It might be yours.

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to loopy and Alienoid. For trying. :D


If WWE wrestlers had been aboard the Titanic...

[Transplant]

Crewman: Im Sorry sir, the dingys can only hold the McMahons and the Helmsleys

Billy Kidman: BUT YOU HAVE FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO FUCKIN DINGYS!!!!

Crewman: Sir, do you know how much effort it takes to carry Shane McMahon?

[Nowhere Man]

**Pyro and beating drums are heard**

Boat Crew: IIIIIIIICE-BERG! IIIIIIIIICE-BERG! IIIIIIICE-BERG!

[Loose Cannon]

you guys love this and it derserves it, so my first act as MOD is to "Sticky" this bad boy. For now. ;)

[Savio]

Does not need to be stickied.

[Loose Cannon]

I think you're right. It doesn't look right. I just wanted to try it out anyway. :)

[Savio]

Paul 1 - Corky 0

[Transplant]

**shows the ocean**

**Titanic comes on scene, bumping up 100 metres above the sea, repeatedly**

"Orale Holmes, theres an Iceberg, barto."

[Shaggy]

JR: BAH GAWD ICE BERG ICE BERG

The King: For the love of god do you have to say everything the same way.

[Favre4Ever]

I can just see Lita lying there nude while Kane paints a perverted, perverted picture of her.

[c4g2]

Vince *pointing* Stop the iceberg from coming into out way!!! We are going through!!!

Goldberg: Wuh, duh? Buh Buh!!!

*Spears the iceberg*

Fade out

[PorkSoda]

All the WWE superstars are standing around, when suddenly...the boat crashes into an iceberg...and it rocks the whole boat and it rings the church bells making a "DING DING DING". The wrestlers, thinking a match has started, start to fight....Royal Rumble rules!

Triple H throws Billy Gunn over the top to the water.
Batista gets clotheslined by Edge to the outside
Big Show chokeslams Billy Gunn and the floor collapses as they fall threw.
And so on....
*THE BOAT TIPS SIDEWAYS*
Everyone falls off....except Eddie Guerrero..he climbs to the top...AND FROGSPLASHES INTO THE WATER, landing on Flair.
RVD 5 Stars onto Flair
And so on....

[Corkscrewed]

Vince: "OMG! There's an iceberg! Straight ahead! Someone do something about it!!!"
Hunter: "I've got it!"
*stands at the bow of the ship and takes the collision head on, disintegrating iceberg*
*no-sells iceberg hit*
Vince: "You've saved the ship! You deserve another ten-year push!"
Hunter; "Egg...cellent!"

[loopydate]

HHH: We're going down! We're going down!
VINCE: What, did we hit an iceberg?

HHH exchanges a knowing glance with Stephanie.

HHH: Uh, yeah...

Crunch.

VINCE: Quick! Get rid of the ballast! Everyone who isn't necessary, get them overboard!

A succession of tiny "plops" can be heard.

MICHAEL HAYES: All the cruiserweights are gone, Vince!
SHANE: Pops, two of 'em took the WWE Tag Team Titles with 'em!
VINCE: Nonsense! The frogs have the belts!
SHANE: No, Pops, the other tag belts! Kidman and London?
VINCE: You're talking crazy talk, Shane.
COLE: Mr. McMahon, we're still sinking!
VINCE: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's time to start weeding out the utterly unnecessary guys.

Off-camera we hear

SOMEONE: No! You can't do this! I paid my duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuues!

Splash

VINCE: Poor Bob. Are we still sinking?

ENORMOUS splash

VINCE: What was that?
JR: That was the rest of the SmackDown roster.
VINCE: Ahh, good. Wait...isn't JBL on SmackDown?
JR: ...yeah.
VINCE: Dammit, get a lifeboat! He's such a great heel!
VOICE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

An enraged Ric Flair runs into the cabin and slits everyone's throats with a knife-edge, then throws them all overboard.

HHH: Jesus, Ric!
RIC: He said "heel!"

[Corkscrewed]

ROFLMAO!!! Classic! :rofl:

[Mr. Nerfect]

Chris Jericho in Benoit's arms: I'm King of the World!

Benoit German suplexes Jericho.

Rico is painting Haas naked, the WWE crew see the Glass Ceiling approaching. Vince McMahon quickly recalls everyone talented below the ship as he gets Triple H to recite his marriage vows to Stephanie, creating a temporary portal to Hell to open, granting Triple H the powers to pass the Titanic through. Everyone happy due to Hunter saving them, runs out to greet the newly crowned "Ultimate Wrestling Champion" by Vince McMahon, disobeying Hurricane's advise and not stayng in the back while the hurricane's coming through, with him and Rosey. Unforunately after the hurricane, Rosey, Rikishi, Hurricane and Mark Henry are the only gys left. Now the ship is banged up it cannot support the weight of the guys, so it sinks to join the forever sunken careers of Eddie Guerrero, Chris Bneoit, Kane, Matt Hardy, Ultimo Dragon, Paul London & Billy Kidman amongst others.

[Corkscrewed]

ONE. SCENE. AT. A. TIME.

[Outsider]

Kane is sat in a lifeboat, he tooks at the sinking ship and mutters to himself "that reminds me of my last push"

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan><i>*the setting is Triple H, Lita, and Allan Ways, clinging to a piece of drift wood for dear life in the icy ocean*</i>
<b>Allan:</b> C-c-c-c-cold.... so, v-v-v-v-v-v-very c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold....
<b>Lita:</b> Trips, you must be superhuman... I'm sweatting like a goat, and you're just there!
<b>Triple H:</b> I'm not going to see to the ocean. I'm too good to sell to this!

[Chuck Jones]

Captain Vincent McSmith: Hmmm, I want to take a course, filled with attitude (Takes a marker, scribbles a zig-zag path over the suggested course. 2nd mate Heyman walks in)

Heyman: Cap'n. That path is littered with ice and falling ratings.

McSmith: DAMMIT PAUL, When I want a goddamn course change, I'll get a goddamn course change! What do you think, 1st mate hunter? (Paul rolls eyes)

Hunter: Good idea, Vince-uh! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go deflower your daughter-uh!

MsSmith: 3rd mate Russo?

Russo: Yes.

(Cabin boy Shane walks in.)

Shane: Pops, Lita botched standing on the rail, and she took Kane and Matt with her.

McSmith: Hmmm, maybe we can make an angle about this. Anyways, tell Holly and Gunn full speed ahead. Fill the engines with more cruiserweights.

Hunter: Aye-Eye Pops.

(Ship has sped up and are approaching the iceberg.)

Lookout JBL: Sir, some fat internet geek I picked on at high school, aka an iceberg is approaching.

McSmith: Perfect. (over intercom.) Russo, your idea was great. Shane, you know what to do.

(Shane runs off the deck and elbows the iceberg. He gets smeared across the hull. Ice hits Holly, Gunn and JBL.)

McSmith: Well, at least I made a buck off it.

[Corkscrewed]

1000 mega points to loopydate!


If WWE wrestlers were comedians/insult comics.

[Xero]

Triple H: And what's the deal with Airline food?
**Cricket chirps**
Triple H: I SAID, AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH AIRLINE FOOD-UHHH!?
**Tumble Weed**
Triple H: Fuck this... **Walks backstage**
Triple H: Vince, they didnt laugh...
Vince: Well, I'll be sure to hold down that audience from now on...
Jericho (In audience): Damn, that wasnt funny at all...

[Corkscrewed]

:lol:

[Nowhere Man]

Jericho: So I said to Hunter, "take my push...please!"

[loopydate]

"So, I said to him: 'I just talked to the captain. Said there's a weight limit. You're just too fat to fly.'"

*Boistrous laughter, followed by a Mark Henry eating spree*

[Corkscrewed]

ROFLMAO!!! That never gets old.

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>Lita, the amazing prop comic!

<i>*Lita pulls out a coconut*</i>
Lita: You know what these things are good for... Catching Rabbits!
Fan: Shouldn't that be a carrot?
Lita: When you host your own hunting show, then you could tell me what to do!
Fan: But you should be doing stand up!
Lita: Really? Should I?
Fan: :wtf:?

[Favre4Ever]

Sorry but I had to rip this one.

Shawn Stasiak walks onto the stage, decked out in a jester's costume, and holds up a cue card.

Stasiak: " Thank you, thank you. And what's the deal with New England anyways? It's over two hundred years old!!!! Last time I checked, thats not that new."

[Outsider]

The Reading Festival Comedy Stage
Triple H
Some other people who aren't important

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Random Cruiserweight: So I woke up that morning, prepared to ask Mr. McMahon for a push, and..........

Crowd:</font> :rofl:

[loopydate]

*Not a scene*

LIVE! Someone bring me the paddles! I won't let you die! Hold on, Wrestling Scenes From A Hat!

Bzzzt! Beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeep...

NO! LIVE, DAMN YOU! LIIIIIIIIIVE!

Bzzzt! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

[Corkscrewed]

Bad excuses to make for being late to a show.

[Xero]

Triple H: I was, uh... Here all along :shifty:
Vince: Oh, okay, as long as you werent off doing something stupid like playing with Pretty Ponies...
Triple H: Ye...
Randy (Out of nowhere): FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME!

[loopydate]

LITA: (out of breath) Sorry I'm late, Vince.
VINCE: What the hell took you so long?
LITA: I tried to get out of my hotel room this morning, and I pushed and I pushed and I pushed, but that door just wouldn't open!
VINCE: Let me guess. You finally got it open when it swung back and hit you in the face?
LITA: How'd you know?
VINCE: (under his breath) Stupid whore...

[Xero]

(Benoit walks in 20 minuites into Raw)
Vince: Where the fuck have you been!?
Benoit (Out of breath): Triple H fucking kidnapped me and threw me in a closet... I finally got out when the Maid heard me knocking on the door...
Vince: Oh sure, blame Hunter... That's it Benoit, you're dropping the title TONIGHT to Hunter in a Submission match, then YOUR FIRED! NO ONE lies to Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
Benoit: But but...
Vince: GET OUT OF MY FACE!

(10 minuites after they get backstage after the show)
Vince: NOW GET OUTA HERE!
Benoit: God damn it...
Hunter (As Benoit walks by): Got ya..... :rofl: