GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat [Archive] - Page 8

El Santo

07-22-2005, 03:04 PM

Dumbledore: .. thank you for joining us here at the final round of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, where it seems our two finalists are none other than Harry Potter of the Gryffindors and Draco Malfoy of the Slytherins. Draco Malfoy escaping the semi-final round through absolutely questionable methods.

Severus Snapes: I humbly disagree, Professor Dumbledore. I say if the referee has his back turned, any combatant --- Slytherin or Gryffindor --- is free to use the Steel Chair of Massive Beating.

Dumbledore: You would say that, Severus. Potter is in his corner with his friends, Ron and Hermoine. But, my word, this will be a battle for the ages!

Severus: This is an absolute infarction, Dumbledore. Combatants should not have any outside interference!

Dumbledore: Then explain how Crabbe and Goyle are in Draco's corner pray tell.

Severus: I told you, it's quite obvious those two are mentally challenged and they'd probably off themselves if Malfoy were not around.

Dumbledore: ... Well I can't argue with that. They've rung the Bell of Match-Starting! They're off!

Severus: Say, Dumbledore, must we give everything fancy pants names? I mean, "Bell of Match-Starting"?

Dumbledore: Sort of gives the proceedings a Tolkienesque air, don't you think? Draco points to Potter in the chest... and POTTER GOES DOWN? What's going on here? Did he use some Dark Art magic?

Severus: I saw no illegal magic at all, Dumbledore! Something's afoot!

Dumbledore: DRACO HAS WON! But, what's this? Potter's getting up ... and he's HUGGING DRACO!

Severus: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I knew it! Potter is a Slytherin! Potter is a Slytherin! The Sorting Hat revealed it six years ago, and nobody believed him but me! I knew it! I knew it!

Dumbledore: Ron and Hermoine are standing in disbelief... but what's this! An attack from behind! That's Hagrid and Cho Chang! My word! They've joined Slytherin too!

Severus: Cho Chang is giving Harry a Liplock of Frenchiness! Ha ha ha ha! To the losers go the spoils! Unbelievable! With the Quiddich Champion, the half-giant, and the hottest tomato in Ravenclaw, Slytherin is unstoppable!

Dumbledore: *shaking head* Truly, this is a black day for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. But everyone chooses their own destiny. Curse me and my vague New Age pantheism.

I understand this was a WCW plot, but it was too good to pass up.

Corkscrewed

07-22-2005, 03:39 PM

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

Yeah... 1,000,000 pts to El Santo. Won't be getting a better one after that. :lol:

The Juventud Guerrera Reality Show

Skippord

07-23-2005, 01:08 AM

Juventud:Alright everyone take turns oiling my chest

Savio

07-23-2005, 01:30 AM

*Juvi wakes up makes some eggs open his mail reads he has been released sighes then goes back to cooking his eggs.*

Schoenauer

07-23-2005, 01:32 AM

Juventud: I have a match soon, could somebody help me oil my chest while I look over the script?

FourFifty

07-24-2005, 11:15 PM

Juvi: Hello and Hola! Welcome to the Juvi Show! It’s a show, all about me, and the great injustices I’ve had to put up with being a Mexican Ameri-- HALEYAAAAAALAYEAOMGWTFBBQLMAOYA Damn it Hassan! Now as I was saying, the WWE got on me for doing the contrever-- HALEEYAAAIMDOINGTHISGAGAGAINYAAA Fucking Hassan! Now if I could be serious for a moment you stupid gringos, it seems I’ve pissed off-- HALEEYYAYAYDOREMIFASOLATIDAYAYEYAY… I give up.

loopydate

07-24-2005, 11:38 PM

BROOKE GUERRERA: Where's Daddy?

NICK GUERRERA: Yeah. He was supposed to be home, like, an hour ago!

[Sirens are heard in the distance.]

BROOKE AND NICK: Here we go again!

FourFifty

07-24-2005, 11:48 PM

totally off subject, but two ideas for topics when it changes...

Inside the WWE Kitchen
Before they were wrestlers

ShaneW

07-26-2005, 01:59 AM

"Now children, don't try this at home... oh hell, who am I kidding..."

Says Juvi as he lights up a bong.

Champion of Europa

07-26-2005, 10:59 AM

Tonight on..JUVI'S KITCHEN

Juvi: Tonight we will make burritos. DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE JUICE IS COOKIN'?

Corkscrewed

07-26-2005, 04:23 PM

Peter Griffin: WWE Wrestler

Skippord

07-26-2005, 11:43 PM

Peter:hello my name is Peter he then goes on to be a tag partner of Eugene

cause he is Petarded

PorkSoda

07-27-2005, 10:57 AM

Peter Griffin: Hey Josh Mathews, guess what I'm doing to prepare for my match against JBL tonight?

Peter runs head first into a wall of bricks, bounces off, falls down two flights of stairs, gets run over by the Mexicools Juan Deere and gets stomped on by the bWo. Brian is seen reading the newspaper a couple feet next to him.

Brian: I hope you learned your lesson, Peter.

Xero

07-27-2005, 11:25 AM

Peter: This is more confusing than the time I tried to wrestle Triple H...

(Flashback to Peter standing in the ring and Triple H standing on the glass ceiling.)

Peter: I don't see how this is going to work...

Corkscrewed

07-27-2005, 12:39 PM

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That was perfect!

ONE BILLION POINTS to Xero Limit. :lol: I think you're the points leader in this...

Now that they can't be on TV anymore, what's next for Hassan and Daivari.

(take this wherever you want.... wrestling related or maybe have them as car salesmen)

Crashnburn

07-27-2005, 12:48 PM

Hassan: "...and here's your change, sir. Thank you for shopping at seven eleven."

Daivari: standing next to Hassan behind the counter, "Thankyou, pleasecomeagain!"

(Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I'm going to hell.)

(Wish I had seen the one for Peter Griffin. :( As soon as I saw it I had a scenario pop into mind. Oh, well.)

loopydate

07-27-2005, 10:36 PM

UFC ANNOUNCER: And Liddell fires back with a straight right! And "Tiger" is down! Chuck Liddell has done it aga--

NYAAIALEYALE...

ShaneW

07-28-2005, 02:46 AM

... One year later...

And the best porn scene goes to...

Hassan and Daivari!!

loopydate

07-29-2005, 12:15 PM

HASSAN: Would you like fries wi--

MANAGER: Uh, Mohammed, could I speak with you for a moment?

HASSAN: Sure thing, sir.

MANAGER: Listen, I don't know if you heard, but there was an explosion in Brussels this morning, and...well...people are complaining that we have an Arab working the counter so close to such an act of terrorism. So, we're going to have to let you go.

HASSAN: But I'm an Arab-American!

MANAGER: Hey, you can still go and work at Burger King. Go to hell!

Skippord

07-29-2005, 12:22 PM

*Sorry for this post its terrible but I cant help it*

SUICIDE BOMB in the UPN offices

Xero

07-29-2005, 12:38 PM

(Hassan goes into Vince McMahon's office.)

Vince: What do you want, you dirty Arab?

Hassan: Someone said you have something for me?

Vince: I don't have anything for any dirty Arabs! Get out of my office!

Hassan: BUT I'M NOT ARAB! I'M NOT EVEN ARAB-AMERICAN! I'M ITALIAN!

Vince: Damn liar! I've seen you on TV!

Hassan: WHAT!? YOU WROTE ME INTO THAT!

Vince: I WOULD NEVER WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT INTO MY SHOWS! SECURITY! GET THIS DIRTY ARAB OUT OF MY FACE!

Gone Mad

07-29-2005, 01:18 PM

TODAY ON BARNEY AND FRIENDS:

Barney: Hey boys and girls, today we're gonna talk about in--

AYAYAYLLAIAIEAHAHAAHEELLIAIAH

Hassan: You people ! You put me down as un-American! I have been set aside by all those in the media as a terrorist and all of you out there think that I am su--

Barney: HEY! ...Get it straight. The guy that's usually in your spot is sick today so you better not get his fuckin' ass kicked off the show. Now, are you gonna play Baby Bop or am I gonna have to kick your carnivorous ass all the way to the unemployment line ?!

Hassan: ... yes'im.

Barney: .................HEY HEY!!! :) :D **goofy laughter!**

Nowhere Man

07-29-2005, 02:26 PM

Hassan's Thugs: The Jets are gonna have their dayyyy, toniiiiight....the Jets are gonna have their wayyyyy, toniiiiight....

Hassan: The American media grumbles, "fair fight!" But if they start a rumble, we'll rumble 'em riiiiiiiiight, TONIGHT!

*snap, snap, snap, snap*

Director: CUT! Okay, I don't think "Middle East Side Story" is going to work.

Champion of Europa

07-29-2005, 02:41 PM

Passenger: *looks at license* Uh, Muhammad, take me to Michigan Avenue.

Hassan: Oh, I see how you are. Just because I'm Arab American you think the only job I can get is as a cab driver? I happen to be a cab driver because of my impeccable sense of direction and astounding memory skills. But no, you don't bother to ask about that. I'm just your Arab cab driver. Do you want me to put on a turban and play the sitar? Uh, cause I'll do that. We kind of need the cash.

Daivari: Please help us. We are very hungry.

Corkscrewed

08-02-2005, 02:29 PM

1000 pts to Nowhere Man.

[WWE Superstar] and the Chocolate Factory

Vastardikai

08-02-2005, 03:17 PM

Veruca: The raspberries taste like Raspberries

Violet: The Strawberries taste like Strawberries

Gene Snitsky: And the Feet taste like Feet!

Willie Wonka: And the Schnozzberries taste like Schnozzberries... Wait a minute, where are the feet on the wallpaper? Gene, that's the foot of an Oomfa Loomfa

(Screen pans to Tazz)

Tazz: Eh, it's a living...

Corkscrewed

08-02-2005, 07:37 PM

roflmao

loopydate

08-03-2005, 12:05 AM

VIOLET'S MOTHER: Violet! You're turning violet!

VIOLET: Yeah, but he's turning orange!

HULK HOGAN: [Poses]

Gone Mad

08-03-2005, 03:14 AM

Wonka: And now here is the fizzie lifting drink room. I gotta tell you to watch where you're going or else y--

** Mike TV is next to a floored Eddie Guerrero, and the kid has bottle in his hands.**

Chavo (out of nowhere and out of the stupid gimmick): HEY, LAWSUIT!

Wonka: Oh, no. I'm sorry, sirs, I'll fix-- **STEELCHAIR TO THE HEAD BY EDDIE!!**

Eddie: Um... if you don't tell anyone we're dumping him into the Gobstopper machine, we'll give you all the -- SHIT, OOMPA LOOMPAHS! RUN!!

**Eddie and Chavo run into a low rider away from the orange guys**

END.

Skippord

08-03-2005, 06:56 AM

Big Show Walks in Squish

Show:I think I broke one of your little men
Wonka:Oh well they are anoying as hell anyway

Just John

08-03-2005, 10:55 AM

[Eugene runs into a chocolate tree and falls over crying]

(J.R): Bahgawd! that tree aint made outta chocolate

(King): actually J.R it is

Xero

08-03-2005, 01:56 PM

Undertaker: Hey Wonka, give me one of those everlasting gobstopers...

Wonka: Okay...

Taker: Thanks!

(A minute later, Taker comes back.)

Taker: Can I have another?

Wonka: Well, okay...

(30 seconds later.)

Wonka: ANOTHER!? THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LAST FOREVER!

Taker: I no-sold father time.

Savio

08-26-2005, 07:19 PM

29.7 points to Vastard-er-um...Nervous ferret!

WWE meets Sesame Street

Savio

08-26-2005, 07:21 PM

*Erine kicks bert out on the street*

Big bird: Why did you do that ernie? he's screwed now!

Erine: I didn't screw bert, bert screwed bert!

Corporate Gr8 One

08-26-2005, 08:51 PM

VIOLET'S MOTHER: Violet! You're turning violet!

VIOLET: Yeah, but he's turning orange!

HULK HOGAN: [Poses]

Skippord

08-27-2005, 12:02 AM

*Elmo is knocked out under a table Bert Ernie and the count stand over him*

JR:Bahgawd they're spray painting HA HA HA on him no the HA has struck again Bahgawd

loopydate

08-27-2005, 12:06 AM

[June, 2005]

VINCE: Wow. That's a lot of names. Hmm... One release! Ah ha ha! Two releases! Ah ha ha! Three releases! Ah ha ha! Four...

Xero

08-28-2005, 07:08 PM

Big Bird: Today's show was brought to you by the letter H. And, by the number 11.

(Repeat for over 3000 shows.)

loopydate

08-28-2005, 11:05 PM

[Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Masters, and Kurt Angle are standing in a row.]

One of these things is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you guess which thing is not like the others
Before I finish my song?

Favre4Ever

08-29-2005, 12:53 AM

Big Bird: O is for Orange! O-R-A-N-G-E!!! Can you say it, kids?

(Orange appears on the screen spelled O-R-A-N-J-E)

(Snitsky from the projector): IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

Corkscrewed

08-29-2005, 01:29 AM

[June, 2005]

VINCE: Wow. That's a lot of names. Hmm... One release! Ah ha ha! Two releases! Ah ha ha! Three releases! Ah ha ha! Four...

:rofl:

That's a winner.

How Hulk Hogan's real last match will go (like seriously... his LAST match).

What Would Kevin Do?

08-29-2005, 01:55 AM

Jim Ross: BAH GAWD!! CHRIS JERICHO JR. HAS HOGAN UP!!!
The King: IT'S OVER FOR HULKAMANIA JR!
Jim Ross: NOOO!!! JERICHO JR. CAN'T SUPPORT THE WEIGHT OF THE COFFIN! HE GOES DOWN BAH GAWD! 1!!!2!!!!3!!!!!!
The King: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! POST-MORTUM HULKAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD!!!

* FOllowed by 30 minutes of Hogan's corpse being pulled out of the coffin and posed with via strings like a puppet.*

Impact!

08-29-2005, 01:56 AM

Hogan is standing in the ring after beating his *last* opponent ever. He begins to pose and the ovation from the crowd is so loud that the rafters themselves begin to shake. The very foundations themselves begin to shake. Then suddenly he gets hit by a car :shifty:

------------------------

Damn I can't think of anything

loopydate

08-29-2005, 02:09 AM

JR: BIG BOOT! BIG BOOT! BAHGAWDAUSTIN'SDOWN! Hogan comes off the ropes--

KING: His leg just snapped off at the hip, JR!

JR: Austin rises to his feet. NO! DAMMIT! Don't let it end this way! Not with a severed leg costing Hogan his last match!

[Hogan gets to his foot. Austin throws a punch, but Hogan blocks it. The force of the block sends him teetering to the canvas. He rolls over and points at Austin.]

CROWD: YOOOOOOOOOU!

[He lays on the mat, shaking his hands like an idiot. He gets up and throws a punch, but--]

JR: HIS ARM FELL OFF! BAH GAWD, HULK HOGAN IS LITERALLY BROKEN INTO THREE PIECES!

KING: But he's not going to give up that easily!

[As blood continues to gush from Hogan's stumps, he leans against the ropes. He's 97 years old, and his limbs are breaking off. But, damn it, he is not going to sell!]

JR: Hogan rocks forward... And falls to the canvas! BAH GAWD, THE HEART! IT'S SEVENTY TIMES BIGGER THAN HIS BODY!

[Which is half true, since his remote-control pacemaker takes up the first nine rows of the arena.]

JR: BAH GAWD, HULKAMANIA WILL NEVER DIE!

[Austin looks at the referee, whose eyes go wide.]

KING: Uh... Hogan's not moving.

[The referee touches a hand to his earpiece. He whispers something to Austin. Austin frowns. The ref shrugs, and Austin falls down on the mat.]

JR: BAH GAWD...er...AUSTIN...RATTLESNAKE?

[The referee gathers up the parts of Hogan's body and lays them on top of Austin.]

JR: ONE! TWO! THREE! BAH GAWD, HOGAN'S DONE IT!

KING: Yeah, but he's not doing much now...

[EMTs rush to the ring as "Real American" plays. They check Hogan's vitals, then load him into a body bag.]

JR: BAH GAWD, HULK HOGAN HAS LITERALLY DIED IN FRONT OF 8,549,176,320 FANS AT THE SILVERDOME!

KING: ...we're in Tucson.

Skippord

08-29-2005, 08:06 PM

JR:Hogan going for the leg drop
*gunshot*
JR:Bawgawd a sniper just shot Hulk Hogan in the face

Xero

08-29-2005, 08:35 PM

*Hogan's music hits and Hogan stands up, victorious.*

Song: When it comes crashing down and it hur- *RUMBLE* ide! You can't take a- *RUMBLE, CRACK* (Music stops)

JR: What's going... *RUMBLE CRACK CRUNCH* BAHGAWD THE CEILING JUST COLLAPSED ON HOGAN! BAHGAWD HE'S HURT BADLY!

Hogan: FUCK FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVERY MAN! I'M NOT HUMAN DAMN IT!

*Hogan proceeds to blast out of the pile of rubble with his foot rockets and flies out of the arena.*

JR: BAHGAWD HULKAMANIA HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! BAHGAWD WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW EVERYONE!

(The next night on RAW...)

JR: I'm sure you're all wondering where Hulk Hogan went after his match. Well, apparently he wasn't human and he tired to return to his home planet, but a comet struck him down. We send our deepest thoughts to the Hogan family.

Corkscrewed

09-06-2005, 04:40 PM

1000 pts to Loopy.

If Kayfabe = Real Life and Wrestlers had to be in character 24/7...
Credit goes to the Eugene/Jillian thread.

SuperSlim

09-06-2005, 04:52 PM

*Sitting in a hot tub

Guy: Hey there girl. How are you?

Maria: Kinda hot. Why is it so hot in here?

Guy: cause it's a hot tub.

Maria; Then why is the water hot?

Guy: I dunno, but hey you know you got somethnig there on ya.

Maria: Really where I can't see it.

Guy: It's your bikini. It's in the way.

Maria: Really?

Guy: Yeah.

Maria: okay.

*Maria takes it all off.

Guy: :eek: Umm there it is.

Maria: Where I still can't see it.

Guy: Fine I'll get it for you.

Maria: okay.

Guy: Oh and um you may want to stand up. It's a little dirty down there too.

Maria: Gosh how did that happen.

*Guy moves in and "touches Maria"

*Random girl walking by.

Girl: Geeze what a pervert.

Maria; What's a pervert?

Xero

09-06-2005, 05:19 PM

(Carlito is eating at a restaurant. The waiter comes back with his credit card and receipt.)

Carlito: Than- HEY! Was' dis? You put an extra $5 on for a tip!? Dat's not cool!

(Carlito gets out his apple and spits it on the waiter.)

Carlito: Now dat... Dat's cool. Keep the change.

FourFifty

09-06-2005, 10:25 PM

*We see Lita and Eugene in a bar, someone comes up to them*
Someone: Oh my god! It’s that one retard from wrestling!
Eugene: *under his breath*god damn vince… Hi! I’m Eugene!
Someone: No, I was talking about the girl. She can’t do anything right.

Corkscrewed

09-07-2005, 01:11 AM

:lol: :lol:

What Would Kevin Do?

09-07-2005, 01:32 AM

Headline in the New York Times.

WWE Superstar and Wall Street Analyst was arrested today at a Nazi rally.
Star also faces charges of hate crimes against Mexican Americans.

High Impact v.W.o

09-07-2005, 02:39 AM

*in supermarket*

Checkout chick: Hope we see you again

Matt Hardy: Screw you *insert Supermarket name*, I'll see you in RoH.

High Impact v.W.o

09-07-2005, 02:42 AM

*At some guys home*

knock, knock

Guy opening door: Um, can I help you

Hardcore Holly: Hi sir I'm from the National Bank, and you haven't paid your due's...

Guy: Eeep

What Would Kevin Do?

09-07-2005, 03:07 AM

Judge: Mr. Lawler, you are being charged with 18,343 counts of sexual harrassment, how do you plead?

Snitsky: Your honor, if I may talk on behalf of my client, I'd like to say.... IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

Judge: Sir, I need to.... AAYYYYYAAAAHHHLLLLAAAAAAAAAALHHAAA

JR: BAH GAWD! GO BACK TO IRAQ HASSAN!!

Judge: Take the terrorist into custody.

Hassan: You see, this is the hypocri...... (Hassan at this point gets clubbed in the back of the head with a nightstick.)

JR: STUNNER!! BAWGAWD STUNNER!! STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! STOLE COLD!

Judge: Is there anyone here who's sane?

Lita: I am.

Lawler: PUPPIES!!!

Judge: Make that 18,344 charges...

Lita: Oh don't worry, I don't mind, I'm a dirty whore. (Lita then procedes to botch being a dirty whore, and instead marries and settles down, remaining loyal for the rest of her life.)

At this point, UPN comes in, decides that this trial isn't PC, and demands that they instead reenact old Fresh Prince scenes, featuring John Cena as WIll Smith, Kerwin White as Carlton, Maria as Hilary, Eric Bischoff as Phillip, Linda McMahon as Vivian, Christy Hemme as Ashley, and Jericho as Geoffrey...

The entire event was later adapted into a one man show on Broadway starring Triple H.

SuperSlim

09-07-2005, 04:01 PM

:rofl: WWKD and Always :rofl: damn I haven't had a laugh like that in a while. :lol:

FourFifty

09-07-2005, 04:56 PM

*in supermarket*

Checkout chick: Hope we see you again

Matt Hardy: Screw you *insert Supermarket name*, I'll see you in RoH.

*weeks later*

Checkout chick: Hi there and welcom--

Matt Hardy: I WILL NOT DIE!!!!!

Xero

09-07-2005, 05:16 PM

Benoit: Oh God, that damn burrito... TIME ME!

(Benoit runs into the bathroom and starts to moan...)

Benoit: C'MON! C'MON! DAMN IT! OH GOD! *SPLASH* OHHHHHHHHHH YES!

(Benoit comes out...)

Benoit: How'd I do?

Lita: Zero minutes and zero seconds!!!

Benoit: ...:|

FourFifty

09-07-2005, 10:39 PM

loopydate

09-08-2005, 12:06 AM

JEFF JARRETT: Hey, buddy! Watch where you're drivin'! You can't cut me off! I'm the King of the Mountain!

[The guy gets out of his car.]

GUY #1: Oh, yeah! Well, I got news for ya, your highness. I'm going to--

[A pedestrian walks over.]

GUY #2: Hey, is there a problem here?

JARRETT: Yeah, the problem is that you just stepped into Planet Jarrett?

GUY #2: Planet J-- What the hell?

[All of a sudden, Guy #1 punches out Guy #2.]

JARRETT: That's right! King of the Mountain!

[Someone in a nearby car rolls down his window.]

GUY #3: That didn't make any sense! Just a second ago, you two were fighting, and now he's on your side?

GUY #1: What, you want a piece of me?

GUY #3: No! What the hell is it with you people and fi--

[Out of nowhere, Guy #2 kicks Guy #3 in the head and shakes Jarrett's hand.]

JARRETT: King of the Mountain!

Shadow

09-08-2005, 12:13 AM

Corkscrewed

09-08-2005, 01:12 AM

:rofl: Gold. Just plain gold from everyone.

Mr. Nerfect

09-08-2005, 05:32 AM

WOMAN: Garrison, I don't think we should be together anymore...

LANCE CADE: I'm Lance Cade...this is Trevor Murdoch...we're coming to pick up my stuff.

TREVOR MURDOCH: I'll make you squeal!!!!!!!!!!!

WOMAN: Uh...

LANCE CADE: Can you feel it?

WOMAN: :| I knew I should have stuck with masturbating to Deliverence.

Xero

09-08-2005, 11:40 AM

PA System at a store: Can Mr. Ken Kennedy please come to the front desk, we found your child... Ken Kennedy...

(After five minutes, rustling is heard on the microphone...)

Kennedy: I'll show you how to announce MY name! Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm looking for the best looking man in this store. He stands about 6 feet 2 inches and is well built. His name is... MISTERRRRRR KENNEDY!.... Kennedy...

Original guy (in the background): So do you want me to get your kid for you?

Kennedy: Call him MISTERRRRRRRRRR JIMMY!.... Kennedy...

FourFifty

09-08-2005, 02:25 PM

PorkSoda

09-08-2005, 08:28 PM

Kevin Nash walks into the hospital.

Kevin Nash: Hi I'm Kev - AHHHH!

Kevin falls on the floor, holding his leg.

Doctor: Torn quad? That's the second time this week.

FourFifty

09-09-2005, 12:25 AM

*at disney land*

Some Chick: Does anyone know where the line to Space Mountian is?

Ric Flair: :naughty: Right here, WOOOOO!!!

Corkscrewed

09-09-2005, 12:42 AM

Lets give the 1000 pts to Xero Limit. Again. What can I say? I'm a Kenney mark.

If wrestlers had their own bands.
Go wherever you want with this.

Drakul

09-09-2005, 12:48 AM

Guy on stage: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome...Snitsky and the Bunions!

Snitsky (singing to the tune of "I like big butts") :
I like you're feet and I cannot lie!
You other pervs can't deny
When a girl walks in,
undoes her lace and shoves her foot in your face you get SPRUNG!

FourFifty

09-09-2005, 01:26 AM

Lita: Over in Killarney
Many years ago,
Me Mither sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low.
Just a simple little ditty,
In her good ould Irish way,
And l'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day.

"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby."

Oft in dreams I wander
To that cot again,
I feel her arms a-huggin' me
As when she held me then.
And I hear her voice a -hummin'
To me as in days of yore,
When she used to rock me fast asleep
Outside the cabin door.

"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby."

Vince: That was good Lita… but you said it was going to be Crazy Train….

*Lita’s lyrics*
http://www.ireland-information.com/irishmusic/anirishlullaby.shtml
An Irish Lullaby

Drakul

09-09-2005, 01:34 AM

The Irish say mither? I thought it was a scottish word (for mother)

FourFifty

09-09-2005, 01:37 AM

The Irish say mither? I thought it was a scottish word (for mother)

In all honesty, I don't know. We'll just assume she botched it.

Drakul

09-09-2005, 01:43 AM

damn it Lita! :mad:

Drakul

09-09-2005, 01:53 AM

Guy on stage: Next up... Chris Masters and the Urinals!

Masters (singing to the tune of Ghost Busters):
If there's somethin' green in the wrestling ring
Who could it be? (Chris Masters!)
If it's roided up and it does one move
Who could it be? (Chris Masters!)

Destor

09-09-2005, 11:22 AM

Fozzy

Destor

09-09-2005, 11:23 AM

:lol:

kapay

09-09-2005, 11:59 AM

The Kerwin White Quartet w/ Special Guest Appearances by Mean Street Posse*

*Select Tour Dates Only.

Xero

09-09-2005, 03:30 PM

*Lita is playing with a rubber band and shoots it right into her eye.*

Lita: Ow...

*Lita does it again...*

Lita: Ow...

*Lita does this five more times and Edge comes into the room.*

Edge: What's wrong?

Lita: This new contact lens system sucks...

FourFifty

09-09-2005, 08:45 PM

Eugene: Can you take me HIGHER! Tra la la, something else, HIGHER!!!

Alter Bridge: M'eh, we've heard worse.

The Former Lead Singer to Creed: :'(

Impact!

09-10-2005, 01:49 AM

Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me
And speak but don't pretend I won't defend you anymore you see
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for you
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you
fear
If you want me hold me back

Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie

And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"

I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too
long
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather......

Aliahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Corkscrewed

09-10-2005, 02:11 AM

1000 pts to Drakul. :y:

Inside the Vincent K. McMahon Library...

Lotus

09-10-2005, 03:15 AM

Fucking People out of the WWF Championship for Dummies

Mr. Nerfect

09-10-2005, 03:21 AM

*At the top of the library shelf*

"If You Can Climb This High, You Are Too Fast and Need to be Grounded"

Paul London: :(

Impact!

09-10-2005, 07:28 AM

How to take care of your grapefruits

Xero

09-10-2005, 08:48 AM

Vince: Hmm, I need a new idea...

*Vince goes to his library and picks out 'The Death of WCW'.*

Vince: This baby hasn't failed me yet!

SuperSlim

09-10-2005, 10:22 AM

*Vince walks into his library and sees two books already laied out on a table.

Vince: Hmmm this is interesting. THere is how to make your product better.

*Vince opens it up.

Vince: Hmmm this looks like a lotta work.

*Vince puts it downa nd looks at the other one.

Vince; Hmmm, Tthis book seems shorter and I think I like this author too.

*Book written by Triple H, how the glass ceiling works.

Vince: Seems simpler. It just says give Triple H title and time. I'll go with this.

Cool King

09-10-2005, 10:36 AM

*Vince is looking through all his books when he comes across a book that is locked*

Vince: hmmmm, whats this?

*Vince tries to open it*

Vince: Damn it's locked!

HEY MASTERS, C'mere I want you to do something for me!

Masters: What?

Vince: You want a push?

Masters: What, I thought I was getting a push?

Vince: Whatever, can you use your master lock to unlock this?

Masters: But the Master Lock isn't a key sir, it's a wrestling mov....

Vince: SHUT UP and unlock it.

*Masters tries to unlock it and does*

Vince: YES!

Masters: Arent you forgeting something?:D

Vince:What? Oh yeah you're fired.

Masters::'(

Xero

09-10-2005, 10:55 AM

Nunzio: Mr. McMahon, I think the cruiserweights should get more air time...

Vince: What's a 'cruiserweight'?

Nunzio: You know, the small guys?

Vince: ... Hold on...

*Vince runs to his library and gets out 'The Big Book of WWE Lingo'.*

Vince: Let's see... Cruiserweight... Cruiserweight... Nope, not in here. Furthermore, I don't remember hiring anyone under 250lbs except for Shawn Michaels, so what the fuck are you doing here?

Just John

09-10-2005, 01:48 PM

*Idea*

for the next ow about wwe superstars sell their own products

e.g undertaker does a comercial for a do it yourself tattoo kit

FourFifty

09-10-2005, 05:29 PM

And now we see <strike>The Dudley Boyz</strike> two dudes breaking into Vince's house....

<strike>Bubba:</strike> Mark: <strike>D-Von</strike> Devon, get the book!

<strike>D-Von:</strike> Devon: Which one?

<strike>Bubba:</strike> Mark: How about that really big one over there?

*<strike>D-Von</strike> Devon and <strike>Bubba</strike> Mark see a HUGE book called How To Fuck People Over*

<strike>D-Von:</strike> Devon: Hey, look, it even comes with a little book mark.

<strike>Bubba:</strike> Mark: Wait, that's not a little book mark, that's the world's smallest book! I can barley make out what the title is with how small it is...

<strike>D-Von:</strike> Devon: My Personal Ethics, by Vince...

Edit- Fixed it, please don't sue!

loopydate

09-10-2005, 09:55 PM

VINCE: Hmm. Time to brush up on the classics.

[He pulls down a hardcover copy of George Orwell's 1984.]

VINCE: Let's see here. "We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia." Oh, say, that reminds me.

[He presses his intercom button.]

VINCE: Send in Matt Hardy.

[The door opens.]

MATT: Hi, Mister McMahon. Thanks for the--

VINCE: Listen, Matt, at the next pay-per-view, you're fighting Rob Conway in the ultimate grudge match.

MATT: But I'm feuding with Edge. My grudge is with Adam for--

VINCE: You are feuding with Conway. You have always been feuding with Conway.

MATT: No, I'm feuding w--

VINCE: Okay, that's it! Room 101!

MATT: No! Not...

VINCE: Oh, yes. [To intercom] Prepare the "Best of Jeff Hardy: The Promos" DVD.

Shadow

09-10-2005, 10:22 PM

SuperSlim

09-10-2005, 10:29 PM

*Vince walks into his room and sees a short book.

Vince: I like shot books. Let's see. Triple H is quite the accomplished writer. One page. cept it looks kinda thick. What keeps everyone else below me. Hmmm nice title.

*Vince opens the book and sees a piece of glass.

Azriel

09-11-2005, 12:45 AM

Loopy, where you come up with this stuff? I swear I wish I could suck the funny out of you and use it for my own diabolical purposes

FourFifty

09-11-2005, 08:24 PM

To Kill A Midcarder....

Mr. Nerfect

09-11-2005, 09:28 PM

This so fucking great. :lol:

Corkscrewed

09-12-2005, 03:11 AM

lol

Sorry loopy, but Always450 just usurped the 1000 pts from you. :lol:

What Heidenreich is doing in Mississippi right now...
*cue the gun jokes*

Impact!

09-12-2005, 03:31 AM

*Heidenreich walking down the street with a shotgun singing*

The waves they came
Making sure this city would never be the same
Now i am here
Looking for my father dear

Shotgun in hand
I search this land
Looking for my father dearest
(I still rape guys to prove I'm the queerest)

I look for him night and day
While others sit around and pray
That I don't find father dear alive and well
Because I can't keep us both supported in midcard hell

And that was a poem by hiedenreich

Xero

09-12-2005, 07:31 AM

Heidenreich: Hey, do you want to be my friend?

Random Looter: No ma- *BOOM*

(Heidenreich walks a little further and comes up to another looter.)

Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend?

Looter: Hell n- *BOOM*

(Heidenreich goes a little further and runs into another looter.)

Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend?

Looter: Yeah, su-*BOOM*

Heidenreich: Oh, did you say 'yes'? Whoops...

Vastardikai

09-12-2005, 11:55 AM

(Heidenreich walks along, carrying two sawed-off shotguns. He sees a guy carrying a computer)

Heidenreich: Are you a Looter?

Guy: No.

Heidenreich: Why do you have that computer?

Guy: I'm a member of the Internet Wrestling Community.

(Out pops Brock Lesnar with an M-16. He pumps the guy full of lead. Heidenreich looks at Brock)

Heidenreich: Do you want to be my friend?

Brock: Ok...

(Heidenreich gives Brock a hug)

Brock: You Homo!

(Brock empties a clip into Heidenreich)

Brock: Now that Vince has lost a hoss, he'll HAVE TO Re-hire me!

FourFifty

09-12-2005, 05:37 PM

A Brock Lesnar Internet Joke.... Man, that takes me back! :lol:

FourFifty

09-17-2005, 02:57 AM

Okay, the “Will You Be My Friend” thing has already been taken, and someone already made a Brock Lesnar joke… where can I go from here…

*We see Heidenreich sitting in the back seat of a cab with a pistol in hand, loading it. A voice from the front says, “We’re here!” Heidenreich takes a moment to say a quick prayer, and he puts the pistol in a holster on his belt. He grabs a 12 gauge shot gun from the seat, and kicks the door wide open!*

There were lovely patches of greensward all about, with stately trees bearing rich and luscious fruits. Banks of gorgeous flowers were on every hand, and birds with rare and brilliant plumage sang and fluttered in the trees and bushes. A little way off was a small brook, rushing and sparkling along between green banks, and murmuring in a voice very grateful to a <strike>little girl</strike> big dude who had lived so long on the dry, gray prairies.
While <strike>s</strike>he stood looking eagerly at the strange and beautiful sights, <strike>s</strike>he noticed coming toward her a group of the queerest people <strike>s</strike>he had ever seen. They were not as big as the grown folk <strike>s</strike>he had always been used to; but neither were they very small. In fact, they seemed about as tall as <strike>Dorothy</strike> Max Mini, who was a well-grown <strike>child</strike> Mexican midget wrestler for <strike>her</strike> his age, although they were, so far as looks go, many years older.
Three were men and one a woman, and all were oddly dressed. They wore round hats that rose to a small point a foot above their heads, with little bells around the brims that tinkled sweetly as they moved. The hats of the men were blue; the little woman's hat was white, and she wore a white gown that hung in pleats from her shoulders. Over it were sprinkled little stars that glistened in the sun like diamonds. The men were dressed in blue, of the same shade as their hats, and wore well-polished boots with a deep roll of blue at the tops. The men, <strike>Dorothy</strike> Heidenreich thought, were about as old as Uncle Henry, for two of them had beards. But the little woman was doubtless much older. Her face was covered with wrinkles, her hair was nearly white, and she walked rather stiffly.
When these people drew near the house where <strike>Dorothy</strike> was standing in the <strike>doorway</strike> front of the cab, they paused and whispered among themselves, as if afraid to come farther. But the little old woman walked up to <strike>Dorothy</strike>, made a low bow and said, in a sweet voice…*

Munchkin: You are welcome, most noble <strike>Sorceress</strike> hoss, to the land of the Munchkins. We are so grateful to you for having killed the Wicked Witch of the East, and for setting our people free from bondage.

Heidenreich: This is the last time I let Lita drive…

If you don’t know where this came from, go to your public library, or go fuck yourself

Champion of Europa

09-17-2005, 03:20 PM

This is a poem by Heidenreich:

I've lost my family in Mississippi
I'm going to live like a hippy..until I find them
The city is in disarray
Going to kill the looters, if I may
With my guns, I'll live like Clyde and Bonnie
They'll wish they never fucked with Little Johnny!

FourFifty

09-23-2005, 03:55 AM

Well, if you want something done right, do it yourself. With all due respect, Corky, please don't sue. Glass ceiling, please don't hold me down...

The REAL reason why Mick Foley didn't sign with TNA...

I'm a horrible bastard for doing this, and I'm going to hell... and that's not the first time I said that.

Impact!

09-23-2005, 04:34 AM

http://img388.imageshack.us/img388/1926/vincemick7xb.png (http://imageshack.us)

:shifty:

Impact!

09-23-2005, 04:51 AM

Go, Go, Badly Photoshopped Rangers.

http://img374.imageshack.us/img374/6662/foleyranger3mg.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

FourFifty

09-23-2005, 05:04 AM

Vince: Hey Jeff Jarrett, race you to the top of the mountain! Winner signs Foley!

Jeff: Alrighty!

*AND THEY’RE OFF!*

Vince: Oh yeah! Look at me run! Oh no, Jeff Jarrett is starting to gain on me! Oh no, now he’s past me!

Jeff: Huzzah! I shall win the right to sign Foley! I pwnz Foley! Bwa ha *TRIP! THUMP! CRASH!* Oh no! I tripped over nothing! It felt like someone tripped me!

Steven Richards: :shifty:

Vince: Yay! Now I am on top of the mountain! I shall sign Foley!

Jeff: THE HELL YOU WILL! I’LL MARCH UP THEIR AND KICK YOUR ASS! *Jeff starts to run, and bumps his head on something clear* OUCH! What the hell! I just hit my head on something!

Triple H: :rofl: :shifty: Glass ceiling, bitch.

Jeff: That's it! I'm going to talk about this on my website on the Internet!

Brock: INTERNET? :mad: KILL!!!!!!!

Xero

09-23-2005, 08:12 AM

Vince: You get them back when you sign the contract...

*Foley signs the contracts.*

Foley: Now can I have my kids back?

Vince: What kids?

Foley: ... DAMN YOU VINCE!

High Impact v.W.o

09-23-2005, 08:22 AM

Mick: Ok vince, Why should I sign with you and the WWE.

Vince: It'll make a good topic in Tpww's wrestling scenes from a hat

Mick: *signs* done and done.

Xero

09-23-2005, 02:36 PM

Vince: Now, Noelle, do you remember how your daddy signs his name?

Noelle: Yeah.

Vince: Okay, do it exactly like that!

*Mick comes into the room.*

Mick: I've thought about it and I don't think I'l...

Noelle: I know how to sign like you, daddy!

Mick: Oh, that's... Great... Honey... Go see mommy...

Noelle: Hey mommy! I can sign daddy's name!

Mick: ... Well, at least I won't have to wrestle on a regular basis...

Vince: Actually...

Mick: Oh fuck you Vince.

loopydate

09-23-2005, 02:41 PM

MICK: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with Raven for the Wor-- Wait, what happened in Canada?

Jaton

09-23-2005, 03:30 PM

Flair hits top-rope move

(actually I'd read that news story)

So ironic.

Impact!

09-24-2005, 01:20 AM

Mick (talking over phone): I can't wait to work under Dusty's writing skills, wait, what do you mean he was fired from TNA.......He's working where now. Oh uh I gotta go, bye.

Must.....Call.....Vince

FourFifty

09-24-2005, 01:36 AM

Vince: Mick, come here... please... As a friend...

*Foley gets right up to Vince's face*

Vince: The thing is... *AHEM!!!* The thing is...

Mick: The thing is what?

Vince: I SAID THE THING IS!!!

Mick: ....?

Vince: Okay, the thing is was a cue for Lita to come out with a blow dart to drug you into doing something you normally wouldn’t do. It also affects your memory so you’d think you’re doing it for the first time and when you come to somehow your actions seem vindicated. Go on, sign with TNA.

Mick: Oh Vince, you’re such a kidder! Come on, give me that pen.

Vince: Kidder… :shifty: …yeah….

*Mick signs with the WWE again*

Vince: Thank you very much Mick!

Mick: Now as you know I have some limits. I was talking to my wife and the thing is---

*Lita bursts into the room with a blow dart and shoots Vince in the neck with it*

Lita: My work here is done… AWAY!

*Lita hops out the window in a superhero fashion and botches gravity*

Vince: …HEY! Let’s fire Charlie Hass! Oh, another idea! Let’s push Masters! He’s a good solid guy who the people love! How about we push Triple H and play hard ball with Spike TV! Damn it, I’m a genius! Somebody, get me a victory twinkie!

Corkscrewed

09-26-2005, 02:08 AM

Lets rehash an old one...

Classic movie scenes done WWE style

Corkscrewed

09-26-2005, 02:10 AM

I gave the 1000 points to Always450, for the record.

Not that it matters.

Impact!

09-26-2005, 03:17 AM

Woman: What ever shall I do, Where ever shall I go.

Man: Frankly my dear I don't give a d.....

ALIYIHYIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Man: Gosh darnit Hassan.

Xero

09-26-2005, 07:52 AM

Vince: YOU... ARE... A... JOBBER! YOU ARE HUNTER'S PLAYTHING!

Jericho: You are a strange, sad little man, and you have my pity.

Vince: Oh yeah? Well you're fired!

loopydate

09-26-2005, 01:34 PM

[Vince steps back for just a moment, watching as Justin continues to inch his way to his feet and then, just before the Chairman is about to strike again, Justin manages a little flick of his own and Vince hadn't expected it, and he jumps back, makes a little involuntary cry of surprise. Cut to Justin slowly pushing away from the wall.]

JUSTIN [All but inaudible]: Hello. My name is Aldo Montoya, you killed my heat; prepare to die.

[Vince suddenly goes into a fierce attack, striking with great power and precision for he is a master swordsman, and he forces Justin easily back, drives him easily into the wall. But he does not penetrate Justin's defense. None of the Chairman's blows get home. As the Chairman steps abck for a moment, cut to Justin pushing slowly off from the wall again.]

JUSTIN [A little louder]: Hello. My name is Aldo Montoya, you killed my heat, prepare to die.

[Vince attacks, slashing with wondrous skill. But none of his blows get through and, slowly, Justin again moves forward.]

JUSTIN [A little louder still]: Hello. My name is Aldo Monotya. You killed my heat. Prepare to die.

VINCE: Stop saying that!

[Vince retreats more quickly around the table. Justin drives for the Chairman's left shoulder now, thrusts home where the Chairman had gotten him. Then another move and his blade enters Vince's right shoulder, the same spot Justin was wounded.]

JUSTIN [all he's got]: HELLO! MY NAME IS ALDO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY HEAT. PREPARE TO DIE.

VINCE: No--

JUSTIN: --offer me a contract--

[And now the sword strikes and there is a slash bleeding along one of Vince's cheeks.]

VINCE: --yes--

JUSTIN: --pull too--promise me that--

[The great sword flashes again, and now there is a parallel slash bleeding on Vince's other cheek.]

VINCE: --all that I have and more please--

JUSTIN: --offer me everything I ask for--

VINCE: --anything you want--

JUSTIN [roaring]: I WANT MY HEAT BACK, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!

Corkscrewed

09-27-2005, 03:03 PM

:lol:

Altho that old caption with Kane and Shane was funner. I think NowhereMan did that one... or someone, I can never remember who. :o

PorkSoda

09-27-2005, 08:41 PM

Kane, dressed up as a nanny, loses his face and is in the kitchen with the kettle turned all the way on. Lita, the Mrs. Sellner of this version, comes in.

Lita: Mrs. Bornfire! The water's bubblin!

Kane suddenly pops up with chocolate cake all over his face.

Kane: Liiiiiiiiiiiittaaaaaaaa!

Lita: AHHHHH!

Kane: HEHEHEHEHEH!

FourFifty

09-28-2005, 01:32 AM

Guy: Who is Spartacus?

Spartacus: I am Spartacus.

Dude 1: No, I am Spartacus!

Dude 2: No, he's not. I am Spartacus.

Dude 3: I am Spartacus!

Every dude there: I am Spartacus!!!!

Lita: Well, it was the first guy. Everyone else just got on the bandwagon to help save him. In speaking of bandwagons, ...Kennedy

Corkscrewed

10-12-2005, 03:44 PM

If Brock Lesnar was a computer/internet instructor...

Nervous Ferret

10-17-2005, 03:46 AM

Brock: Now right click here...
...
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR BROCK SMASHHHHHHHHHHH, I SAID RIGHT CLICK

Corkscrewed

10-17-2005, 04:41 PM

LESNAR: Now, the internet is a diverse place, but there are some sites that are naughty that you should never visit.

STUDENT: Which ones would those be?

LESNAR: Well, basically, all the ones that begin with www.

STUDENT: But that's all of the--

LESNAR: SHUT UP FATTIE FAT FAT FACE!!! Whoa, sorry, no idea where that came from. Seriously. But yeah. Web sites suck.

Xero

10-17-2005, 04:46 PM

(Flashback to when Brock found his hatred for the Internet and gays...)

Student: Hey, Mr. Lesnar, I found this really cool site that we could share in class! Maybe you should check it out!

Lesnar: Oh yeah? What is it?

Student: G-O-A-T-S-E-DOT-C-X!

Lesnar: Let's se-... Oh my... Oh my G-.... What th-... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?

Student: :rofl:

Lesnar: FAGGOT INTERNET! RAAWRRRR!

*Brock mauls the student half to death.*

Lesnar: ASSHOLE! *Kick*

loopydate

10-18-2005, 11:08 PM

BROCK: Okay, now scroll down until you find the tab for "Properties."

STUDENT: :?:

BROCK: Then you'll... Are you paying attention?

STUDENT: :?: Hi?

BROCK: Yes, hello. You're going to want to find the Setting section. now, set your Screen Resolution to...GODDAMMIT, why aren't you following my instructions?!?

STUDENT: :?:

BROCK: GAH! This is the last time I try to do this shit.

STUDENT: :?:

[Brock leaves.]

http://www.tiu.ac.jp/~bduell/Duell.enshu/enshu1.97/Takeshi1.JPG

STUDENT [in Japanese]: Why was that crazy gaijin yelling?

(Get it? 'Cause he's wrestling in Japan now? Aw, forget it)

Xero

10-19-2005, 08:05 AM

Brock: Now, lock the taskbar.

Student: Brock the taskbar? Okay!

*Student F5s the computer.*

Brock: :mad:

PorkSoda

10-19-2005, 04:32 PM

Brock: Okay, to begin press any key.
Kid: Where's the any key?

Xero

10-19-2005, 04:50 PM

(First day of class. Brock walks in.)

Brock: Hello students, I'm Mr.-

Student: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE BROCK LESNAR!

Brock: No, I'm Mr. Les-

Student: OH MY GOD, YOU RULE MAN! I LOVED YOU IN THE WWE!

Brock: Well, I'm a teac-

Student: OH MY GOD! I LOVE THE F5! IT IS THE MOST AWESOME MOVE EVER!

Brock: Thanks, but let's get dow-

Student: OH MY GOD! I WAS SO SAD TO HEAR YOU DIDN'T GET INTO THE NF-

Brock: LISTEN YOU LITTLE SNOT NOSED BRAT, I'M HERE TO TEACH ABOUT THE FUCKING INTERNET BECAUSE VINCE SAID IF I DID, I'D GET MY FUCKING JOB BACK! NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!

(The student sits down...)

Brock: ANYWAY... I'm here to teach you all about.................

Student (Under his breath): No wonder the smarks hate you...

Brock: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!!? RRAAAARRWWWW!

(Brock throws a chair at the kid, knocking him from the front row to the back. Brock gets on his cell phone and walks out.)

Brock (outside on his cell phone): YOU KNOW WHAT VINCE, FUCK OFF! I DON'T NEED A JOB WITH YOU!

FourFifty

11-14-2005, 01:40 AM

I think right now we all need a good laugh, so go on and check out this thread, and in the mean time I'll try to come up with some funny.

WWE Storylines- Where do they come from?

FourFifty

11-14-2005, 01:40 AM

*We see Vince McMahon sitting in his office, on the phone*
Vince: Hello, Office Supply Store? I’d like to place an order… yes I’ll hold….. *Vince picks up a dart on his desk, and chucks it at a picture of Bret Hart* Yes, I’m still here. Okay, are you ready? I need 1,000 packs of printing paper, and 100 typewriters… No, I’m not interested in getting computers… I said no…. Yes, typewriters. Can you do that for me? Thanks! I’ll have someone pick it up for me. *Vince hangs up the phone*
Vincent Kennedy McMahon, get yourself a victory twinkie! Okay… next number… *Vince picks up the phone again, and dials* Hello, local Zoo? Listen, I have a special request. Do you have any spare monkeys?… how many? About 100.

Nervous Ferret

11-14-2005, 01:48 AM

*Vince is seen rummaging around the recycling plant*

FourFifty

11-14-2005, 01:48 AM

^
LMAO!!!!

Corkscrewed

11-14-2005, 02:26 AM

Vince is at the local car wash.

CAR WASHER: Here you go, sir! Your Benz is as good as new, and I added that New Jobber Smell you requested!

VINCE: Heh, thanks kid. You did do a nice job. What did you say your name was?

CAR WASHER: Oh, it's Kenneth Kennedy Kennedy.

VINCE: Ken Kennennedy?

CAR WASHER: No, two Kennedy's.

VINCE: I don't follow.

CAR WASHER: My name is Ken...

Kennedy...

Kennedy!!!

VINCE: Hmmmmm........ :shifty:

TWACK!!

*VINCE KNOCKS OUT THE CAR WASH KID AND STUFF HIS BODY IN THE TRUCK*

The following night.

KEN KENNEDY: MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDY!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KENNEDY!!!!

VINCE: :cool: :shifty:

FourFifty

11-14-2005, 02:35 AM

^
Thank you! I needed that!

Xero

11-14-2005, 09:34 AM

*Vince goes to Blockbuster*

Vince: Hmmmmmmm... Let's see... No... No... AH! I GOT IT!

*Vince picks up Star Wars Episode I and "Boogeyman" and checks them out.*

(3 weeks later....)

Boogeyman: I'm the BOOGEYMAN! And I'm commin' to GETCHA!

Corkscrewed

11-14-2005, 01:29 PM

Too obvious. :lol:

Corkscrewed

11-14-2005, 01:32 PM

Vince is working out, sweatin' to the 80s.

VINCE: 295, 296, 297, 298...

FFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRWWWPPP!!!!!

VINCE: DAMMIT! I know I import these shirts from China, but I expect at least SOME quality that prevents them from tearing at the slightest pull!

TERRY BOLEA (passing by): Too bad you couldn't turn ripping shirts into some sort of positive, eh, Mr. McMahon?

VINCE: Hmmm....

The next night.

I AM A REAL AMERICAN!!!

Vastardikai

11-14-2005, 01:49 PM

*shows three dart boards, one with various performer's names. One with crummy gimmicks, and one with various company roles.

Screen pans to Vince McMahon, holding 3 darts*

Just John

11-14-2005, 01:54 PM

*Vince sees two hookers arguing in the street*

hooker 1: you married the pimps son to get better wages?! you bitch!

Vince: Hmmm...

Xero

11-14-2005, 03:53 PM

*Vince is watching CNN*

Reporter in middle east: And today is the inaugur-

Background: (Religious Muslim chant)

Reporter in studio: Looks like they interrupted you there... Let's go to the stage...

Vince: Hmmmmmmm...

(One week later.)

ALYALEEALYALALLAEAAAAAAA!

Corkscrewed

11-15-2005, 01:11 AM

JR: Hey Vince, meet Marshal Mathers. Marshall, meet Vince McMahon...

loopydate

11-15-2005, 01:33 AM

[Vince is thumbing through a giant reference book on his desk.]

VINCE: Really? Wow. Okay...

CHAVO: Mister McMahon...?

VINCE: Chavo, you will now be known as "Kerwin White." Your gimmick will be that you've renounced your Puerto Rican heritage--

CHAVO: My family's Mexican.

VINCE: Whatever. Anyway, you're now a normal middle-class white American. Basically, you're lampooning white people! Get it? Kerwin White?

CHAVO: Sir...?

VINCE: Brilliant. Okay, see you later, Kerwin.

[Chavo leaves, thoroughly confused. Vince grabs a pen and looks down at his book. Cut to the page he's looking at.]

<s>Black People</s> Nation of Domination
<s>Mexicans</s> "El Matador" Tito Santana
<s>Arabs</s> Muhammad Hassan
<s>Asians</s> Kai En Tai
<s>Africans</s> Saba Simba
<s>Islanders</s> The Headshrinkers
<s>Midgets</s> Midgets
<s>The Dead</s> The Undertaker
<s>The Wealthy</s> Hunter Hearst-Helmsley
<s>The Poor</s> Jamie Noble
The Middle Class

[He crosses off the last entry on the page, then closes the book. Now, we see the title.]

The Big Book Of Ethnic Stereotypes

VINCE: Can't believe I never did that one before...

Corkscrewed

11-15-2005, 02:57 AM

NURSE: We're pleased to have you here at Sanford Asylum, Mr. McMahon. I understand you wanted to see our most athletic inmates?

VINCE: Yes, indeed. Say, who's that large guy in the corner wearing the tassels and streamers all over him?

The two walk over.

NURSE: Well, this is--

INMATE: HAAAAARRRRGHHAAAGAAARRAGAAHH JIM HELWIG GAARRAWAARAAAAGHA HARAGAAARRAAA WARRIOR GLARRRAAAHHHH ARRRRAAAAHHHRRR NO MERCY GREATNESSSSSSSS!!!!!!

VINCE: :eek: You're hired!!

Xero

11-15-2005, 08:40 AM

(Dinner at the McMahon's...)

Linda: Well, you know, Vince always has to take "the blue pill" to "get it up"...

Vince: LINDA! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING THAT UP IN FRONT OF GUESTS!?

Stephanie: Oh, it's no big deal...

Hunter: Yeah dad...

Vince: Do YOU take it!?

Hunter: Pfft, hell no.

(Ric Flair comes from the bathroom...)

Hunter: Hmm... If it makes you feel any better, we can always reference it with Ric...

Vince: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

Ric: What is?

Corkscrewed

11-15-2005, 08:54 PM

^ Alternate Version:

VINCE: Hey, this NCW stuff is pretty hot. :shifty:

BROCK: (bursting in) Internet?!?! ROOOOOOOOOOAA---

VINCE: Don't. Even. Think about it.

BROCK: Yes sir. :'( (walks away)

Xero

11-15-2005, 09:10 PM

The timeline is wrong, but...

*Vince is watching an advanced copy "1 Night in Chyna"*

Vince: EWW! VILE! OH MY GO-... NO! THAT DOESN'T GO THER- WHAT THE HELL!?

Hunter: Hey Dad, what'sOH MY FUCKING GOD!

Vince: ...............This gives me an idea...................... :shifty:

(The next night on RAW...)

Triple H: I.... SCREWED HER BRAINS OUT!

CSL

11-16-2005, 10:58 AM

Hunter: Hey Dad

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

PorkSoda

11-16-2005, 11:17 AM

Vince: (At a creative meeting with an Uncle Sam hat on the desk) Okay everyone, what we do is that every show we ask our studio audience about storylines, we take the good ones and put them in this hat here. Alright, Triple H and Kane will start with......

Vince takes out a piece of paper and reads it.

Vince: Necrophilia

Xero

11-16-2005, 12:02 PM

Vince: NO BROCK, I'M NOT REHIRING YOU!

Brock: FINE!

Vince: AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE NEXT PERSON TO WALK PAST THAT DOOR IS GOING TO BE YOUR REPLACEMENT!

Brock: I DON'T CARE!

*Bobby Lashley walks by.*

Corkscrewed

11-22-2005, 01:17 AM

If wrestlers had their own sitcoms
(Your choice of kayfabe style or not... thanks to Drakul for the suggestion.)

FourFifty

11-22-2005, 02:38 AM

JUSTIN CREDIBLE: Midcard on Raw. <o =""></o>

JBL: Main event on SmackDown. <o =""></o>

JUSTIN CREDIBLE: I didn't get any heat.<o ="">

</o> JBL: Just forget it. Let it go.<o =""></o>

JUSTIN CREDIBLE: Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my heat.<o =""></o>

HHH: Heat -- $2 extra.<o =""></o>

JUSTIN CREDIBLE: $2? But everyone in front of me got free heat.<o ="">

</o> HHH: You want heat? <o ="">

</o> JUSTIN CREDIBLE: Yes, please.<o ="">

</o> HHH: $3<o =""></o>!

JUSTIN CREDIBLE: What?<o =""></o>

HHH: No push for you!

Corkscrewed

02-09-2006, 01:21 AM

What refs are really saying to the wrestlers during matches.

FourFifty

02-09-2006, 01:53 AM

*During his last big match*
Tim White: You know Hunter, your... package looks a lot bigger on TV.

Corkscrewed

02-09-2006, 04:52 AM

:lol:

Xero

02-09-2006, 09:02 AM

Ref: Nick, your intelligence is showing...
Eugene: Oh..... Umm..... EUGENE! WHERE'S MY TEDDY BEAR!?

Vastardikai

02-09-2006, 11:07 AM

Ref: Randy, how many restholds are you gonna use tonight?

Xero

02-09-2006, 12:55 PM

Ref: Pick your leg up. Now your other. GOOD! Now repeat that!

Lita: This walking stuff is hard...

Corkscrewed

02-09-2006, 03:43 PM

"Mr. Hunter, I'm pleased to inform you that Stephanie is now crabs-free."

loopydate

02-09-2006, 03:47 PM

"Can you believe that Sawyer conned Kate?!?!?"

Anybody Thrilla

02-09-2006, 05:05 PM

"Prepare for an Irish whip"

:shifty:

Xero

02-09-2006, 05:08 PM

"Just think about Lex Luger matches..."

PorkSoda

02-09-2006, 08:04 PM

"nerF for Mod"

Y3J

02-09-2006, 08:07 PM

"You look nice in tights :kiss: "

FourFifty

02-09-2006, 08:20 PM

A look into WrestleMania....

Ref: So Hunter, is it true Steph has crabs?
HHH: Why you sonofa bitch! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right here, right now!!!!
Ref: I'll dq you and you won't win the title back from Cena.
HHH: ..........fuck you............

Xero

02-09-2006, 08:39 PM

"RING THE BELL! I'm sorry, Shawn made me do it! :'(" *Runs*

Corkscrewed

02-10-2006, 04:25 AM

Other "official" reasons for why John Cena was getting booed.

Pretend you're WWE management)

Impact!

02-10-2006, 07:33 AM

Vince: Ok people I think we finally have it figured out why they're booing our Champion.

Angle: Finally :roll:

Steph: It's because....

He hasn't been in a fued with Hunter yet :love:

Angle: Gosh Darnit

Impact!

02-10-2006, 07:43 AM

Oh wait, not what they would actually say, um how about....

Vinve: we have finally come to a conclusion on why the WWE fans have been booing our champ, Mr Cena, and it is for this one reason...

He made songs with Bumpy Knuckles, so next week on RAW he's going to FU BP, then we'll fire him right there, live on tv. By god I'm a genious, someone get me a victory twinkie.

Hunter: Sure thing dad...SHANE GET ME A GOD DAMN VICTORY TWINKIE

Vince: That's my boy

Shane: :mad: :rant: :foc: :( :'(

Xero

02-10-2006, 08:59 AM

Vince: It's quite obvious why people have hated Cena for so long. It's because he's stopped taking steroids! JOHN! GET IN HERE!

(2 months later...)

Cena: Holy shit I can hardly move my arms...

Cool King

02-10-2006, 10:11 AM

Vince: That's it! That's why Cena is getting booed.

HHH: Why dad?

Vince: Well son, it's because the fans don't wanna see Cena winning the feuds, like Cena VS Jericho or Cena VS Angle.

HHH: No?

Vince: It's because they wanna see Cena lose to you.

HHH: Yeah that sounds about right.

Vince: OK, Shawn, take a note of this.

Shane: Dad, my name is Shane.

Vince: What? Paul, your name isn't Shane. So Shawn, tell the whole locker room and Cena that they'll all be jobbing to Paul.

Shane: So same as usual?

Vince: Well yeah, but tell them that they'll actually get a punch in the match this time.

HHH: DAD! No!

Vince: Oh, ok then, cancel that last part, will ya Shawn?

Shane::roll:

Corkscrewed

02-10-2006, 03:15 PM

:lol:

Xero

02-11-2006, 11:28 AM

Vince: They're chanting "Booya Cena! Boooooya Cena!"...

starfox8500

02-11-2006, 01:20 PM

It's a future kind of heat called, "John Cena heat." It's what only the best get. Infact we're trying it on our newest characters next monday.

Rob van Dam's new character: Robby V.D.

and H.H.H's= Hunter has Herpies

Xero

02-11-2006, 01:23 PM

Vince: They're booing because it's all part of my plan! THIS PROVES THAT I CONTROL THE FANS! MWAHAHAHAHA!

*Vince walks out and cries.*

Just John

02-11-2006, 04:56 PM

Next one could be, the WWE olympic games, like cruiserweight lifting etc.

loopydate

02-11-2006, 06:22 PM

http://www.tpww.net/columns/1092408886.html

FourFifty

02-11-2006, 10:44 PM

*We see Shane backstage, glaring at Vince and HHH's matching father and son shirts, as he overhears their conversation*

Vince: So the plan is for Cena to become a HUGE face! I want the fans to scream for him! Male, female, young, old, everyone!

HHH: Sounds like a good idea to me, pops!

*Shane walks up to HHH and Vince*

Shane: Hi dad!

Vince: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!?! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE TALKING!!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FIRE YOUR ASS!!!!

HHH: Yeah!

*Later, Shane walks down to the ring, and he waves his hand*

Shane: You will boo John Cena!

Fans: We will boo John Cena...

Shane: You will cheer the Boogeyman!

Fans: We will cheer the Boogeyman...

Shane: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Fans: These aren't the droids we're looking for...

Corkscrewed

02-12-2006, 09:30 PM

1000 pts to FourFifty and Cool King. CK would have gotten rep, but I need to spread it more.

If Wrestlers Were Involved In World History
(courtesy of PorkSoda)

Xero

02-12-2006, 09:39 PM

Father: Did you chop down that cherry tree?
Vince Washington: No, Eric did it.

Corkscrewed

02-12-2006, 09:45 PM

STEPHANIE MONROE: Happy Birthday... Mister President!

JOHN FITZGERALD LEVESQUE: Me likey likey!

*two weeks later*

NEWS REPORTER: In an unprecedented move, President Levesque has just abolished the standard four year presidential term and made it forty years instead...

Xero

02-12-2006, 09:51 PM

Bill Copeland: There are many allegations being thrown around. I would like to state for the record that I did NOT sleep with my best friend's wife.

Matt Lewinsky: BULLFECES!

Cool King

02-12-2006, 10:01 PM

CK would have gotten rep, but I need to spread it more.

I'll remember that.;)

Kip Hankcock: There, we've signed the Declaration Of Wrestlependence!

Christian Jefferson: We're free from the hated WWE!

Benedict Helmsley: Um, hey guys.

B.G Stockton: Benedict Helmsley, what to you want?

Benedict Helmsley: I was wanting to, um join TNA, and make it a free company.:shifty:

Nash Franklin: Great! now if you just sign this Declaration, it'll be official.

*Nash Franklin pics up the feather and the Declaration*

Nash Franklin: OW! MY QUAD!

George Jarrett: We're under attack from that traitor! Benedict Helmsley doesn't really want to sign the Declaration, he doesn't want TNA to be a free wrestling company.

Benedict Helmsley: TNA will never get it's independence from the great WWE! Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

*Benedict Helmsley runs away*

Corkscrewed

02-12-2006, 10:02 PM

FourFifty

02-12-2006, 11:39 PM

Not so much history, but...

Al Gore: I invented the internet

G.W. Lesnar: Internet? KILL!!!!!

FourFifty

02-13-2006, 12:07 AM

Hitler: France was easy to conquer... Where was das French military commander?

*And somewhere in France, in the military commander’s bed room*

Jeff "Le Commander" Hardy:zzzzz.zzzzzz.zzzzzz....zzz.....zzzz..... *wakes up*... FUCK! I'm late!

CSL

02-13-2006, 08:10 AM

Hardcore Hitler:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

CSL

02-13-2006, 08:12 AM

1000 pts to FourFifty and Cool King. CK would have gotten rep, but I need to spread it more.

If Wrestlers Were Involved In World History
(courtesy of PorkSoda)

George W. Bush = Vince McMahon

Tony Blair = Eric Bischoff

Could you imagine Eugene shaving Tone's head?

Xero

02-13-2006, 09:29 AM

Settler McMahon: Give us your land for these smallpox-infected blankets!
Native Tatanka: .... BUFFALO!!!!!!! *Chops*

Xero

02-14-2006, 08:10 PM

Let's do "If the media thought wrestling was real" next.

NoJabbaNoBogRoll

02-14-2006, 08:15 PM

Okay, this one's prolly pretty horrible, and I mean "only Jabba would laugh" horrible, but anyway...

Hardcore Hitler: I am implementing this Final Solution on all of Germany, because all of you must pay me your Jews!!!!
Yeah I never got around to that gimmick, what with Hindenburg Hulk Hitler, and Hip Hop Hitler.

loopydate

02-14-2006, 08:21 PM

From The Book Of Mark

And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome had brough sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him. And very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun. And they said among themselves, Who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great. And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a red, white, and blue singlet; and they were affrighted. And he saith unto them, "Be not affrighted: Ye seek Kurt of Angle, which was crucified: If I can win a gold medal with a broken freakin' neck, do you honestly think a couple of nails can kill me?!?!?"

Impact!

02-15-2006, 01:28 AM

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

FourFifty

02-15-2006, 02:04 AM

Skippord

02-15-2006, 03:45 AM

President Kennedy:ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY

...COUNTRY

Corkscrewed

02-15-2006, 03:54 AM

ROFLMAO. yeah, 100,000 pts to loopy!!!!

CROWD: :eek:

But points don't mean a thing. :lol:

Ironic ways for wrestlers to end their careers.
You can go the death route or some career ending injury or whatever.

Corkscrewed

02-15-2006, 04:05 AM

The Undertaker's title push was cancelled today when he was discovered unconscious at his senior citizens home today. Paramedics were unable to ressucitate him. It turns out he hadn't been dead before after all...

Impact!

02-15-2006, 06:08 AM

[News Reporter] And it is my sad news to inform you that WWE Superstar HHH, a.k.a Paul Levesque has suffered career ending injuries today when, whilst sky diving his parachute failed to open completely, and sent him careening through a glass roof in [insert american town here].

Xero

02-15-2006, 09:00 AM

News Reporter: Late last night, during a World Wrestling Entertainment event in Chicago, Jim Ross, better known as "JR", was struck by lightning and killed, reportedly after screaming "BY GOD!".

Corkscrewed

02-15-2006, 05:47 PM

BOOGEYMAN: And I'm gonna getch--HOLY CRAP A GIANT CENTIPEDE!!!
***SCARF!!***

Xero

02-15-2006, 05:52 PM

Nash (To Shawn): So I told Hunter that *SNAP* OW!... OH MY GOD MY LEG IS GONE! ZACH GET BACK HERE!

Zach: NO! I NEED THIS FOR THE IMPLANT!

*Nash falls over trying to chase after him.*

Y3J

02-15-2006, 05:52 PM

Angle's neck cracks in two.

redoneja

02-15-2006, 06:51 PM

Tonight on 20/20:

We look into the life and tragic death of Ugandan professional wrestler, Kamala. Kamala was a simple man, whose cannibalistic tendencies turned his customs into tragic irony. After spending all of his life headhunting and eating his victims, he finally met his match. Late last Monday evening, Kamala was stalking a young woman after a RAW show. Unfortunately, it was too dark and Kamala mistook his quarry. After he killed the young lady and began devouring her flesh, he looked at her face and realized he had just eaten the flesh of professional wrestler Amy Dumas, aka Lita. Within a half hour, Kamala contracted every known sexually transmitted disease, and 3 that had yet to be discovered. After spending 3 days in intensive care, the Ugandan Giant finally succumbed to the ravaging viruses. Nobody has ever suffered a more painful, grueling death. May God have mercy on your soul Kamala.

Kamala the Ugandan Giant (1952(?)-2006)

http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/k/kamala/03.jpg

Xero

02-15-2006, 06:58 PM

:rofl:

Xero

02-15-2006, 07:04 PM

Vince McMahon (Overdubbed on a Shawn Michaels video): Ladies and gentlemen, it brings us great sadness to announce that Shawn Michaels, devoted husband, father, and Christian, and one of wrestling's greatest performers, has lost his smile. Because of this, he will be hanging up the old wrestling chaps and is retiring. We wish Shawn Michaels the best in his future. We will miss you, Shawn. You and your smile which has brought happiness and joy to millions of fans. The sun shall never shine again because the fans, your friends, and especially me, will never see your smile again.

(Still frame of Shawn Michaels smiling)
RIP
Shawn Michaels' Smile
1997-2006

Corkscrewed

02-16-2006, 02:19 AM

Angle's neck cracks in two.

Perhaps you didn't get it the first 1950 times. You're supposed to create a scene, not just give a listed example. Read the first post again.

D Mac

02-16-2006, 03:43 AM

Reporter: Former WWE Wrestler Tatanka was arrested today after scalping his boss Vince McMahon.

When asked why he did this Tatanka said, "Well, Vince said I need to further my character by attacking an enemy in the way of a Native American.

Xero

02-16-2006, 08:34 AM

Reporter: Nick Dinsmore, better known to wrestling fans around the world as the lovable "Eugene", was forced to retire today after a doctor discovered that a concussion he had suffered a few weeks back has made him mentally challenged.

Eugene had been playing a mentally challenged wrestler for two years now. When Vince McMahon, leader of the WWF, noticed that Eugene was "in character" every moment of every day, he sent him to a neurologist, where the docter was quoted as saying "I'm sorry Mr. McMahon, he's a full-blown retard now". The Dinsmore family does plan to sue the World Wrestling Federation Entertainment.

Y3J

02-16-2006, 09:15 AM

Perhaps you didn't get it the first 1950 times. You're supposed to create a scene, not just give a listed example. Read the first post again.

:o Sorry

Corkscrewed

02-16-2006, 02:48 PM

As long as you've learned your lesson. ;)

Corkscrewed

02-16-2006, 02:49 PM

Creative ways to "Tim White" yourself.

rob11

02-16-2006, 02:59 PM

Creative ways to "Tim White" yourself.
Challenge Chris Sabin:shifty:

Xero

02-16-2006, 03:01 PM

"Mister Finlay, you're a fighting Irish bastard."

D Mac

02-17-2006, 01:50 AM

"NO, I refuse to job to Triple H."

Blitz

02-17-2006, 01:58 AM

"I'd like to have a match with New Jack"

Skippord

02-17-2006, 02:19 AM

"Yes I think it would be a good Idea for Bob Orton to bleed in the same ring I am in"

D Mac

02-17-2006, 03:48 AM

"Mr. McMahon. You can't fire me. I QUIT. And I am going to TNA." :mad:

Cool King

02-17-2006, 03:57 AM

"Who the hell is Triple H? Some jobber?"

D Mac

02-17-2006, 03:59 AM

"Hello Xero Limit 126, My name is Sadistic. I also go by the name of wwefan4life." :shifty:

D Mac

02-17-2006, 04:00 AM

"Mr. Kane Knight, your Ruse Reports suck ass." :shifty:

FourFifty

02-17-2006, 04:04 AM

*In the WWE locker room*

Josh: Hello everyone! Josh Mathews here, and I'm going to try to conduct an interview with Tim White. As many of you may know Tim White has been a little down on his luck. His depression has recached an all time high when last week he wrote a blog on the internet talking about how he'd like to fuck Brock Lesnar in the ass. The only thing that saved his life was the fact that Brock Lesnar can't read. Tim, how do you feel about that?

Tim: ...................kinda hungry, to be honest............ *we see Tim White taking a bit out of a sandwich* I think I'll just.....

Josh: Oh god no! Mr. White, you aren't druging your food, are you? Mr. White, that's unwise!

Tim: No Josh, I'm not trying that. I just want a bite to eat...

Josh: No razor blades in the sandwich?

Tim: No Josh, that would be... unwise. *Tim smiles at Josh*

Josh: I'm very glad to hear that Tim! It sounds like you're on the right track! So, Mr. White, I understand that you've made a friend in the WWE locker room, is that true?

Tim: Yes it is. Hey Paul, get over here, ya big lug!

*The 7 foot tall, 500 pound big show comes into the room. Tim's smile turns into an evil grin*

Show: Hey Tim! What's up my man!

Tim: I'm eating your sandwich.

Everyone: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Show: :mad:

Josh: Oh shiiiiiit....

Tim: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Blitz

02-17-2006, 04:15 AM

That is entirely too plausible, fourfifty.

Impact!

02-17-2006, 06:56 AM

*Tim white walks into a room accompanied by Josh Mathews*

Josh: You told me there was a video you wanted to show us Mr.White?

Tim:... *walks over to lone tv, and places video in video player. Tim presses play and steps away from the tv*

Josh:..Presents...One...Night...in...OH GOD NO MR. WHITE...

Chico

02-17-2006, 07:30 AM

"Hey Triple H! Loved that match between you and Warrior."

FourFifty

02-17-2006, 05:24 PM

Corkscrewed

02-19-2006, 12:30 AM

1000 pts to Impact. :rofl: Special mention also goes to Skipport, CK, and 450.

Tag Team names that never quite made it.

Drakul

02-19-2006, 12:55 AM

1000 pts to Impact. :rofl: Special mention also goes to Skipport, CK, and 450.
Not to nit-pick but didn't Cool King do the scene Impact! did but Tim watched TNA instead of One Night In Chyna?:?:

Corkscrewed

02-19-2006, 01:53 AM

I dunno. Not in here he didn't. :p

Drakul

02-19-2006, 02:46 AM

Yeah it was in a Tim White thread.

FourFifty

02-19-2006, 05:50 AM

*And now, CM Punk looks for a tag team partner*
 <o =""></o>
 CM Punk: This is true! This is real! This is straight edge, and straight edge means that I’m better than you!
 <o =""></o>
 Jake Roberts: :shifty:

 CM Punk: Next!
 <o =""></o>
 Eugene: :shifty:
 <o =""></o>
 CM Punk: Next!
 <o =""></o>
 Scott Hall: :shifty:
 <o =""></o>
 CM Punk: Next!

 RVD: :rofl:
 <o =""></o>
 CM Punk: Why are you laughing?

RVD: I don't know man, but a little weed just might jog my memory.
 <o =""></o>
CM Punk: .....next.....

Jeff Hardy: Well I would be a good person to te-

CM Punk: GOD DAMN IT! NEXT!

Cuzziebro

02-19-2006, 06:08 AM

Hey I know the points dont matter but who's winning?

FourFifty

02-19-2006, 06:12 AM

Hey I know the points dont matter but who's winning?
Just go through all 1984 posts, add up the points when they were said they were given, and never again ask who's winning because....

points dont matter, and I'm a dumbass for asking "who's winning".

Cool King

02-19-2006, 08:24 AM

I dunno. Not in here he didn't. :p

Why Corky, why?:'(

http://tpww.net/forums/showpost.php?p=1169627&postcount=34

Impact!

02-19-2006, 08:42 AM

You fail good sir.

Also stop taking away my glory :'(

Impact!

02-19-2006, 08:51 AM

Vince talking to locker room: Ok people, I'm gonna go into my office, and if you want to be team, come in and tell me your team name. If I dont like it, Yoooour out.

*Vince walks off and goes into his office*

*door opens, and snitsky and Tomko enter*

Snitsky: Ok here's the deal, He's the Problem Solver, I have a foot Fetish, how about...

The Fetish Solvers

Vince: I'll think about it, NEXT

*Snit and Tomko open the door and leave while Matt Hardy and Tim White enter*

Vince: This is gonna be a looong day.

Steph (behind fake two way mirror): This is gonna be some gooooood stuff.