GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat

[Corkscrewed]

All right, if you've ever watched that show Whose Line Is It Anyway? you've probably seen a segment called Scenes from a Hat, where the host pulls out a "scene" written on a sheet of paper from a hat and has the actors act it out.

Basically, I'll be pulling out "scenes" for you guys to act out in a humorous manner. The object of the game is to come up with the funniest response. You might remember a few months ago, someone started a thread called "Things you shouldn't say to Triple H," and everyone gave a lot of great responses of their own. This is pretty similar, except that every few days, I'll come up with a new scene.

It's pretty simple, but I do have a few notes. Because this is just a message board you can't really act out something, so responses will have to use a bit of roleplay. It's sort of like captioning or even that TPWW Hardcore Championship thread, where you "act something out" through writing. I say this because sometimes, I'll give a scene, and a reply may just be a simple one or two word statement. I'd like to encourage people to act out stuff instead. For example, if the scene is "Inappropriate moments to do so-and-so," instead of just saying something like "after bed" or "in the morning," act out that scene. If the scene asks for a movie name, maybe give a bit of a trailer that might air for that movie.


Just a few rules:
- ONE SCENE PER REPLY. You can only post one "response" at a time. Don't list a whole bunch of them in one post. This is just to allow others who might have a similar idea to get their chance to post.
- NO DOUBLE POSTING. Obviously, since you can only post one answer at a time, some might feel tempted to post six replies in six posts. That's kinda cheap, so I'd like to discourage that. If you have two or more good ones, either wait for someone else to post one of theirs or wait five minutes.
NOTE: Technically, I can't prevent people from multi-posting, so if you did double or triple post, it'd be okay... but try not to make a habit of it. Like, once a week or month is the max.
- The only double posting allowed is to respond to another person's scene in one post and then give your own example in another. Obviously, if you think someone posted a classic respond, by all means show your approval with a :lol: or :rofl: or whanot. That way, we can have sort of like a live audience thing.
- Please try to keep your scenes short. Few people like to read whole biographies for these things. :)
- Once a round is over, no more replies can be made for it. Make your replies only for the most recent scene suggestion.


Anyway, sorry about all those rules, but I'd like to be clear about the game. It's really pretty simple and has the potential for gold (El Santo, Rock Bottom, Loopydate, Kane Knight, Nowhere Man, I'm looking at you guys) from everyone, really. I just want to make sure it doesn't get screwed up.

Anyway, first scene coming up...

[Corkscrewed]

Inappropriate topics of discussion when meeting Vince McMahon.

[Corkscrewed]

I'll start off with one of my own just to set the tone.


"So, Vince, I hear your daughter, Steph is a squirter..."

[Marc the Smark]

"Hi Vinnie Mac, is it true you like the cock?"

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Hey maybe we could do an Invasion angle with XFL?"

[Mr. Nerfect]

Corkscrewed, I know this is just for fun, but maybe, like on Whose Line is it Anyway, you could give points to the top three, just for no reason at all? Maybe sort of like a best of that topic sort of thing?

[Nowhere Man]

"So I saw these GREAT cruiserweights wrestling the other day, I think they were from ECW or something, and..."

[Rock Bottom]

"Hey Vince. Think Randy Orton took spitting lessons from Bret Hart?"

[Ferocious]

Dan Madigan (New creative writing team guy):So Vince I've got some great idea's for both shows I've been up all weekend:

Vince: Well thats great Dan, ou can tell me about them while you make the coffee.

Dan Madigan: Uh Ok, So Vince that big fella you have on the roster Kane, He's really something huh.

Vince: Yeah we had great plans for him to start with but it's tailed off with the old writing team. Thats partly why I've hired you.

Dan Madigan: Great well I've got a brilliant idea, Why don't we put him in a series of matches with smaller guys and have him job to them?

Vince: Jesus farking christ thats a brilliant idea, I like the cut of your jib. What else have you got there Dan?

Dan Madigan: Well after these matches I figure the smaller guys are gonna look like great athletes and thats going to be great for ratings. It will really get them over and we can use them a bit better than we have been in the past.

Vince: I don't see where this is goign Dan.

Dan Madigan: (Switches conversation back to bigger guys) And this Undertaker guy, he's been around for over a decade, He's never lost at 'Mania, I was thinkign maybe we could have him in a feud with Booker T going into 'Mania next year and having Booker T win, This would get Booker T really over with the fans and then we could use him better than we are right now,

Vince: Again Dan I don't see where this is going.

Dan Madigan: Well what about this A-Train Guy, He's absolutely huge he's a hoss in every sense of the word. He is a real man, He's as hairy as hell yet the fans hate him. I was thinkign we could put him in a series of matches with some of the crusiers on Smackdown, Have three or four of the cruisers possibly Rey Mysterio, Shannon Moore, Billy Kidman go over him clean and move their careers forward.

Vince: What are you talking About Dan? A-Train is great I'm sure the fans love him, Look at all the 'Shave Your Back' signs they bring along to cheer him on.

Dan Madigan: OK OK What about we bring back Nathan Jones and Brock Lesnar and put them in a stable with A-Train, Undertaker, Kane and the Big Show, Have them all float between shows like the undisputed champ used to do. And hold every belt available between them.

Vince: Now your talkignt hat would be fantastic.

Dan Madigan: Then I was thinking we could have another stable, A rival stable if you will. It would conisist of Chris Jericho, Tajiri, Matt Hardy, Sean O'Haire and Lance Storm and Ultimo Dragon as the leader of the stable. They would have a great feud between the stable going into a 12 man elimination tag match with every title on the line. the new 'opposing stable' would win all the belts and move the guys in that stables careers forwards.

Vince: YOUR FIRED

[CSL]

"Hey maybe we could do an Invasion angle with XFL?"

<font color=white>"And then in a swerve that no-one's gonna see coming, we bring in the WBF, led by Lex Luger and repackage the whole thing as WWE vs. the XFLWBF!"</font>

[c4g2]

How's it like to have a son with the World Heavyweight Title tatooed to his expanding waist?

[SuperSlim]

So Vince... how was Steph last night?

[Loose Cannon]

Mr McMahon, I got to tell you, I really enjoy reading those Smackdown Spoilers posted on the web every Wednesday.

[Mikey]

So how about That Lex Express? you really dropped the ball with that

[JT]

*Vince, I think it's about time Chris Jericho is placed in the main event again...*

[JT]

Vince, did you see the captions TPWW made for your son-in-law this week.

[loopydate]

":lol: Do the funny walk again, Vince. Come on!"

[Shaggy]

So Vince.....who lowered the breifcase for you in your laddermatch against Austin. Or what was the whole note deal about with Booker T.

[Wolverine]

"Hey Vince, where ya get yer 'roids"

[HankScorpio]

":lol: Do the funny walk again, Vince. Come on!"
:rofl: :y:

[El Santo]

"Hey, Vince... I was watching Raw the other night and ... were you REALLY alone in that skybox? Because I swear I saw you smiling, and you were watching a non-hoss match. Was there someone that was, say, just below of the camera view? Was it Sable? I bet it was Sable."

[Nark Order]

"Hey Vince, I read on the internet that Bret Hart is coming back in some gigantic surprise angle..."

[What Would Kevin Do?]

" Vince... With all the success that Triple H was having, I was wondering... Does... Shane... errr.. you know... swing both ways???"

[big_bluto]

Hey, Vince!
I hear that Sean O'Haire had a great match the other night.........you should sign that guy!

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to Nowhere Man, Loopy, and El Santo. Yeah. I'm biased. :p

BTW, Ferocious... way too long.


Rejected nicknames for Steve Austin

[Blue Demon]

" Well Steve, since you're from the deep south we're goign to call you The Mother****er..."

[tucsonspeed6]

Steve (Snuggles) Austin

JR: "It's SNUGGLES! SNUGGLES! He just gave McMahon a TEDDYBEAR! TAKE THAT YOU SONOFABITCH!!!"

[Azriel]

The Ringmaster...what?...He WAS named The Ringmaster?...Nevermind then.

[Corkscrewed]

"And now entering the ring, from Victoria, Texas, "The Wifebeater," STEVE AUSTIN!!!

[Corkscrewed]

" Well Steve, since you're from the deep south we're goign to call you The Mother****er..."

:lol: I dunno why, but I think that's hilarious.

[El Santo]

Ms. Austin: "So Steve was trying to decide on a name, and I served him some tea. And I told him, 'Be careful, luv, this tea is watered down.' And we looked at each other and we said, 'Watered Down Steve Austin'.

"He thought it was a great idea and it just might take. Apparently it didn't. We decided to rip off a name from a Queen cover album instead."

[Loose Cannon]

"And now entering the ring, from Victoria, Texas, "The Wifebeater," STEVE AUSTIN!!!

very original. Didn't see that coming :p

[Corkscrewed]

Ms. Austin: "So Steve was trying to decide on a name, and I served him some tea. And I told him, 'Be careful, luv, this tea is watered down.' And we looked at each other and we said, 'Watered Down Steve Austin'.

"He thought it was a great idea and it just might take. Apparently it didn't. We decided to rip off a name from a Queen cover album instead."

Beautiful!

[Corkscrewed]

Fine, LC.

"And now entering the ring, from Victoria, Texas, Old Stone STEVE AUSTIN!!!"

Crap, that sucked too. I'll just leave this up to the masters.

[Loose Cannon]

I can't think of a good one eathier. My mind is sh** right now. Dam Finals week

[tucsonspeed6]

William Stevens

[Corkscrewed]

Ah crap, I don't think this will go anywere.

2000 Stone Cold points to El Santo.

If the Rob Van Dam was a motivational speaker..."

[loopydate]

"Duuuuuude, it's like I told you. It's not enough to WANT Cheetos. You have to rise above yourself, reach out, and TAKE the Cheetos!"

"Mister Van Dam, this is a third-grade art class. What are you doing here?"

"It's cool. Whoa! Clay!"

[Loose Cannon]

OK, now we're talking.

ROB speaking to 8yr old kids about the dangers of drugs

**Rob comes in a little high.

Rob: OK kids, today I want to talk to you about how you roll th....Oh wait...about what you do when someone offers you an illegal substance...

**Rob turns to teacher

Rob: Wait is it legal or illegal? Illegal right? Well anyhow, when someone comes up to you and offers you drugs, you should always take some time and think about it first. Or is it that you should say NO right away? I always get this confused because if you say NO right away you might hurt the other guys feelings. Right? I would take a minute to think about it, and hey maybe you can get a discount.

**Rob starts laughing and teacher tells him it's time to leave.


ROB: Before I go, let me just say one thing. Doing Drugs only gets in the way of achieving goals...well, unless your name is....R.V.D.

[Loose Cannon]

Christ, I wrote a dam story.

[Savio]

*RVD speaking to 3rd graders*
RVD (to teacher) : Hey duuude why didn't you play my music mannnn I'm R-V-D. Well anyways kids just be cool ya know cool.

Kid: can you 5 star frog splash me

RVD: no dude

Kid: Please!
*Kids start chanting 5 star*

RVD: SHUT THE **** UP YOU LITTLE PEices duuuude where am I?
Jeff hardy: Hey Rob! Lets smoke some pot!

[Mr. Nerfect]

I don't know why, but this topic is harder than it should be. :-\

RVD: Hey guys. Keep jumping off buildings and smoking the sh*t! The day is yours.

Kid: Even Moday & Thursday?

Rob: No you little dumbass, they're my f'n nights!

[Nark Order]

Rob: Don't do drugs because I'm....ROB....VAN.....DAM

Kids: But Rob, that doesn't make sense.

Rob: It doesn't matter cause I'm ROB....VAN....DAM

Kids: Why do you keep saying that???

Rob: It's just something that I do cause I'm ROB...VAN...

Kids: Oh Christ.....

[El Santo]

Silly question:

Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot)

[SuperSlim]

Duuuude... First all you need to do is chill. The first lesson is learning how to chill. After you have mastered that then learn how to ease yourself. Spell it with me

*points to self with each letter

E...A...S...E

After you have the ease inside of you, you can do whatever you want. You are now a master of yourself and soon you will be able to chill just like... and point to yourself when doing this...

*points to self with each letter

R...V...D

I thank you for your time and now go and chill.

[Nowhere Man]

RVD:"My name is Rob Van Dam. I work for World Wrestling Entertainment, I am thrice de-pushed, and I live in a Van down by the river. Now, I know you kids are thinking, 'Rob, I'm gonna go out there, and grab the world by the tail, pull it down, and put it in my pocket!' Well, I'm here to tell you guys that as you go out there and sign a contract with VInce, you're not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!!!! Young lady, what do you wannna do with your life?!"

Stephanie:"I wanna be a booker for WWE!"

RVD: "Well, LA-DEE-FREAKIN'-DA! Looks like we got ourselves a writer here!"

Hunter: "Actually, Rob, we've really encouraged Steph in her writings."

RVD: "Pal, I wish you would just shut your big yapper!" (Hunter writes down RVD's name in his 'to be buried' list) "Well, you'll have plenty of time for writing storylines, when you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Young man, what do you wanna do?!"

Jeff Hardy: "I want to live in a van down by the river."

RVD: "Well.....you'll have plenty of time for....living in a van down by the river....when you're.....you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!"

[Shaggy]

Sadly I cant think of anything for this. I must be thinking to hard. I will be back after a little RVD.

[Loose Cannon]

lmao at Nowhere Man. "Hey kids I can't see very well, Is that Will Shakespeare over there". That's my favorite line.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Silly question:

Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot)

I noticed this too. Doesn;t a motivational speaker try to motivate people that are old enough to appreciate it?

[Loose Cannon]

Well RVD is motivating the kids to go out and say NO to drugs. How about that?

[SuperSlim]

well for me RVD is speakin to a group that can at elast appreciate it

[Rock Bottom]

(For Austin Nicknames) "So I was thinking of this new gimmick where I come to the ring wearing a wifebeater..."

(For RVD Motivational Speaker) RVD: "All right man... (Looking over the crowd) How are y'all doing, my name's... ROB (Fingerpoint) VAN (Fingerpoint) DAM (Fingerpoint) and I'm addicted..."

Bob Saget: "You don't know anything about addiction! You ever sucked some dick for crack!?"

RVD: "Hahahah, er... Nah dude... I got really high this one time though... And I drove to the arena, and almost crashed into the building, hahahah... But it's cool... Anyway I swear my Intercontinental Title is missing... I don't know where the hell I put it, and Vince hasn't even noticed since like December..."

Crowd: "RVD, Randy Orton is the IC champ now."

RVD: "Oh yeahhhh hahah, it's cool."

Crowd: "I feel reformed, I will never smoke that much in my life."

[Mr. Nerfect]

*For the Austin One*

"Bone Gold" Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck turns heel and takes the world's supply of gold, and lacs his skeleton with it, feuding with Chris Benoit.

[Corkscrewed]

Hm, one more rule. Once a round is over, you can't give suggestions for it anymore. Sorry.

[Corkscrewed]

A-Train: The Musical

[loopydate]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
That is not a sweater
There's no wool anywhere
In fact, I think it's better
I'm wearing only hair!
WOO!

[Rock Bottom]

Heyyyyy
That's my shirt
Ahhhhhhh
Neverminddddddddd
I was talking to someone that's different than youuuuuu

(Rep for reference, if I can.)

[El Santo]

beings with A-Train, stting on a chair and facing its back, while a single solitary spotlight shines on him

What good is sitting alone in your room
Come see the big hoss plaaaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come to the cabaret.

Come see my smoke, come see my flab,
I'm now on Raw, and I'm celebrating,
Right this way, your seat is waiting.

I might be Derailing Benoit really soon,
He might be depushed todaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Come see the cabaret.

I'm the guy you know who's really slow & hairy,
I wore a shirt 'cuz Droz said it looked scary.
I wasn't what you call a blushing flower.
As a matter of fact, I shaved my back last hour.

The day she tried to shave my back she nicked me.
I knew I shouldn't've powerbombed poor Stephanie.
After they drugged me with a bottle of doped Jim Beeaaaamm,
I was the happiest jobber Heat had ever seen.

A-Train stand up, hand on the brim of his glittery top hat

And as for me, as for me....
I made my mind up back in Smackdown
I just might have to hold Rodney Mack down...

A-Train is surrounded by Big Show, Brock, Nathon Jones, and Matt Morgan, the "Dancing Hosses", who do the can-can as the music picks up

Start by admitting from cradle to tomb,
It's been a long, long staaaaaaayyyy,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
It's only a cabaret...
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come see the caba
I want the caba
I love the CABAREEETTTTTTTT!!!!

Curtain closes

[Mr. Nerfect]

Blarghblugbunbotrincorieow!
Mueiejfbturhjdnbjffhvfughjdfjhrjrghfjghfjghdkfjrh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs at opponent on stage*

:shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

Oh, that was classic, Santo!

[c4g2]

The A-train song

One little two little three little back hairs!
Four little five little six little chest hairs!
Seven little eight little nine little leg hairs!
A-train, the hairy hoss!

[Vastardikai]

"Dude, life is like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.... You see, we're all hippos, and we're like, hungry and stuff..."

(sorry, bad RVD/Kane skit rip off)

[Ferocious]

RVD: People of Michigan, Here me when I say that weed is the way forward. We can wipe out the pain of athritis, we can clear our minds and souls, just remember the old ancient proverb. Don't drink and drive.........Smoke weed and fly!

[Goldbird]

A-Train changed his name to Hair-Train.

[HankScorpio]

"Hey kids, RVD says make your Goals Higher, make your knowledge Higher..make yourselves HIGHER....Dude"

"be like R..V..D..Fly with confidence, then you'll have the motivation to order that pizza...Dude"

[HankScorpio]

Whoops, only just saw the last rule. sorry.

[HankScorpio]

"one night only..the Fabulous Albert Train in Shampoo"

[Azriel]

El Santo ruled with that. Awesome stuff :lol:

[Nowhere Man]

Hair (A-Train remix)


She asks me why...I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night; Hair that's a fright.
I'm hairy high and low,
Don't ask me why; don't know!
It's not for lack of heat
Or all the cruiserweights I eat; darling

Gimme a hoss with hair, long beautiful ha-aaaaaair!
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for bees
A nest for stank; oh, God, it's rank
The beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted; Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied!

O-oh, Say can you see; my eyes if you can,
Then my hair's too short!
Down to here, down to there,
Down to where, down to there;
It stops by itself!
doo doo doo doo doot-doot doo doo doot

They'll be ga-ga at the go-go
when they see me in my toga
My toga made of nasty, moldy, Biblical-pestillent hair
My hair like King Kong wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Vinnie pushed his son-in-law
Why don't my Vinnie push me?

[Corkscrewed]

500000000000000000000000 points to El Santo, and 4999999999999999999 points to Nowhere man. ;)


The world's worst referee.

[Nowhere Man]

(patiently waits for the Montreal reference)

[Vastardikai]

Micheal Cole: There's the cover

Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five...

[Corkscrewed]

^ :lol: Nice Monty Python reference!!! :love:

[Corkscrewed]

Michaels has Benoit in the Crossface.
Ref: "Okay, Chris, I know you can't talk with your mouth covered by Shawn's fist, but I'm gonna go make a run to the supermarket after the match. If you want some milk, tap once. Cheese, tap two times. Steak, tap three times. Eggs, tap four times. Cilantro..."

[Savio]

http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingTrishStratusImages/trish_hairpull-can.jpg
Ref1: So xy^2 = the radius of a circles whose diameter is 46
Ref2: hmmmm thats a toughy

[Disturbed316]

Ref: You mean he didn't tap? Aww damn it....

[Savio]

http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingTrishStratusImages/trish_hairpull-can.jpg
Ref1: So first day on the job eh?
Ref2: I'm not a ref I'm a convict
:n:

[Kane Knight]

Micheal Cole: There's the cover

Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five...
Three, sir...

[Corkscrewed]

Right. Three!

*tosses Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch*

[Corkscrewed]

*hick accent*
"One! Two! .... aw crap, ma never tot me pass two!"

[Vastardikai]

vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Corkscrewed again.

vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kane Knight again.

:'( It not fair...

[Corkscrewed]

Surprised this one hasn't been done yet.

"One! Two! ...two and a half! ...two and three quarters! ...two and five eighths! ..."

[Jonster]

Surprised this one hasn't been done yet.

"One! Two! ...two and a half! ...two and three quarters! ...two and five eighths! ..."

I would have if I'd seen this subject sooner

[Mr. Nerfect]

*Benoit has Michaels in the Crossface.*
Ref: He said he didn't want to tap!
*Ref tackles Benoit and puts him in a Crossface of his own.*

[Vastardikai]

Ref: And none of this...

*Ref gouges HBK in the eye*

Or this:

*Kicks HBK in the groin.*

and especially this!

*gives HBK a Piledriver*

[Corkscrewed]

5000 points to Vastardikai for that! :lol:


WWE Announcers on Their Days Off

Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

[Nowhere Man]

Writer 1: Well, now that the writing session for next week's Raw is over, I've got to go make balloon animals at a birthday party and practice throwing pies. Is my face-paint on right?

Writer 2: Yeah, but your rubber nose is crooked. Hey, you mind giving me a ride home? The short bus broke down today?

Writer 1: Sure, just hop into my tiny car over by the trapeze artist's trailer.

(EDIT: For some odd reason, I thought it said "writers" instead of "announcers." Huh....Guess I need to look closer next time)

[PureHatred]

Call Girl: Mr. Ross. I'm here from A-1 Escorts. What services did you want today?

JR: SLOBBAKNOCKA!!!

Call Girl: Oh, of course...never heard it called that before but OK...**gets on knees. goes to work**

JR: BAH GA- whoah..watch the teeth there, sweety.

Call Girl: Sorry *back to work**

JR:BAHGAWDSTUNNERBBQSAUCEGUVMENTMULEBAHGAWD!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

(Tazz): "I'm a Gary Coleman impersonator. Whatchu talkin' 'bout??"

[loopydate]

SCENE: The Stamford Mall. Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Tazz are doing some birthday shopping for Mister McMahon.

COLE: So, what do you guys think we should get Vince?
JR: Bah gawd, that sonofabitch. Damn him to hell! DAMN HIM TO HELL!
TAZZ: ...uh, yeah. Do they still have that fireworks store here? You know, "Rocketbusters?"
COLE: I think you just made that up.
TAZZ: But, Joey Numbers said...
COLE: You made Joey Numbers up. He didn't say anything.
KING: PUPPIES!
COLE: Oh, shit, Tazz, why didn't you tell me we were getting close to the pet store?
KING: PUPPIES!
TAZZ: Here comes the pain!
COLE: What?

Cole walks into a crossbeam.

JR: Bah gawd, that metrosexual is LITERALLY BROKEN IN HALF!
KING (sadly): Puppies...
COLE: Wait a minute!
TAZZ: What?
COLE: What if we got him a bird or something. We all know how much he loves high-fliers...

All laugh.

TAZZ: Wolverines can fly, Cole!
COLE: For the last time, no they don't!
JR: Barbecuesaucerattlesnakeunprettierinallmyyearsinthisbusiness!
COLE: That's it!
KING: Puppies?
COLE: No. A rattlesnake.
JR: BAH GAWD IT'S AUSTIN! STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD!

[Savio]

*JR Watching porno*
JR: Ba......bahhh......bah.........bahhh......BAhhhhhhhh........BAHGAWDHE'SBROKENINHALFSTUNNERGOOGODOHMI GHTSTONECOLDTHATSOBBBQSTUNNERSTUNNERSTUnner....stunner

[Champion of Europa]

*King goes to a pet store, he walks up to a cage full of dogs*

King: PUPPIES!

*Pet store owner walks up to him*

Pet Store Owner: May I help you?

King: PUPPIES!

Pet Store Owner: Yes, those are puppies.

*King walks over to a fish tank*

King: PUPPIES!

Pet Store Owner: Not quite.

King: PUPPIES!

Pet Store Owner: No they aren't.

*King walks over to the pet toys*

King: PUPPIES!

Pet Store Owner: Now you're just being ridiculous..

[Corkscrewed]

1000 points to PureHatred!


If WWE wrestlers entered other sporting events.

[Corkscrewed]

Oh, I can't resist this one.


"And now, the next challenger in our greased pig lassoing contest, from Houston, Texas, he is the ROUND UP RANGER, THEEEEEE UNNNNNNDERTAKERRRRRRRRR!!!!"

[Corkscrewed]

"And now appearing as the greased pig.... MAAAAAAAARRRRK HEENNNNNNNNNRRRRRY!!!!"

[What Would Kevin Do?]

And now, the starting center for the Detroit Pistons.... KKKEEEEVVVVVIIIIN NAAASSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCERS: And the game is underway... There's the tip off..... Wait, looks like we have an injury... I may be jumping to conclusions, but it appears that Kevin Nash has torn his quad....

[Champion of Europa]

Announcer: Now the newest Seymour High School Amateur Wrestling recruit, HUNTER HEARST HELMSELY.

*wrestling begins*

Announcer 1: It appears we have a pin 3 seconds into the match.

Announcer 2: He wont stop pinning him!

Announcer 1: He seems to be holding the kid down.

Announcer 2: We could be here all night, folks.

Announcere 1: He's now reprimanding his opponent for using the internet...

[Corkscrewed]

"Introducing our newest entrant in the world of the competitive ass kicking... ZAAAAACH GOOOOWWWWWWWEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!"

[PureHatred]

**The NFL Draft ended 4 hours ago. Madison Square Garden is completely empty**

Brock Lesnar: Hey??!! Nobody called my name...hey! I'm the next big thing...anybody in here? Hellooooo? Anybody??? Who turned out those lights?

**rolls up in fetal position**

[Corkscrewed]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't rep you. :( But that was hilarious!

[Vastardikai]

"Man, that Goon is kind of rough. Do you think the Flames fans will get used to him?"

[Corkscrewed]

What the Spanish announcers are thinking every time their table gets destroyed.

[PureHatred]

I'm going to post what I wrote in a similar topic. i'm lazy...sue me:

'Y aqui viene los dos gran gueras, Los Tres H y La Roca. Los Tres H tiene La Roca aqui en la mesa .No se necesitamso mover..que vas a hacer? OH NO!! Esta haciendo on 'bomba con fuerza!!' NOOOO!!NOOOO!! DIOS MIO! DIOS MIO!!!! PORQUE?!!GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! !!!!!!'

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Oh no, our table." :shifty:

[Mr. Nerfect]

You must spread some reputation before giving it to PureHatred again. :mad:

[Disturbed316]

Hose Concacocaco: 'Oh look they are coming towards us'

GuywhooversoldatKOTR98: 'Yes, I hope we are not victims to a powerbomb or something?'

Hose Concacocaco: BAWH GOWD, BAWH GOWD A POWERBOMB THROUGH OUR TABLE

[Savio]

Caliente leche gorgos en un paco!

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Yo Quero Taco Bell.

[loopydate]

CARLOS: ¡Por Dios! ¡Por Dios! ¡Ese hijo de una perra! ¡Maldígalo al infierno! ¡Serpiente de cascabel de la salsa de la barbacoa de la maravilla! ¡Frío De piedra! ¡Frío De piedra!

HUGO: ¡Perritos, Carlos! ¡Perritos!

[PureHatred]

Frio de piedra!!!...LOL

[The Icon of Elisim]

"Man am I ever tired"

[Nowhere Man]

(I didn't take Spanish in school :( )

[loopydate]

Translation for anyone who doesn't speak Spanish (NM):

CARLOS: Bah Gawd! Bah Gawd! That son of a bitch! Damn him to hell! Rattlesnake barbecue sauce stunner! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!

HUGO: Puppies, Carlos! Puppies!

[Disturbed316]

lol

[Champion of Europa]

Spanish Commentator: I know I should be kind of bummed out that my table was just destroyed, but I'm in my 50s, I watch wrestling, I am constantly laughed at by English speaking divas around my office, I should just be happy to be around wood, because I sure as hell can't get any anymore. :(

[MVP]

Spanish Commentator: WOW, the audience still believes we're Spanish, and not just two guys paid to sit at a commentary table that gets destroyed ever show.

[Loose Cannon]

I took 3 yrs of Spanish and don't understand a word of it. :-\

[thuganomicalcrippler]

"Si."

[PorkSoda]

"Damnit. I knew we shouldent have bought our tables from Target"

[HankScorpio]

^^^
LOL! Excellent pun

[Mikey]

Where is El Matadaor when we need him?

[Corkscrewed]

"Macarena macarena marena. EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MACARENA!!"

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Macarena macarena marena. EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MACARENA!!"

:lol: (BTW, does anyone else feel this thread dying away :().

[PorkSoda]

Yes.

[Vastardikai]

Corky, give us anotha!

[Corkscrewed]

10000 points to... myself. But remember, just like A-Train, points don't matter.


Gimmick matches that never quite made it.

[Mr. Nerfect]

:lol: at Corkscrewed's comment. :y:

Anyway:

Jim Ross: It's time for the hellacious, 200 laps around the ring in thong match between Mark Henry and The A-Train!

[Corkscrewed]

Tony Chimmel: "The following is a break through the glass ceiling match! There will be a sledgehammer at the top of a pole. The first wrestler to reach the pole and claim the hammer may use it to crack the glass to win the match! Now, introducing the first challenger..."

[Corkscrewed]

Chimmel: "And since since Triple H is already standing on the glass ceiling, the winner of the match and STILL CHAMPION... TRIPLE H!!!"

[Nowhere Man]

Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to tonight's Main Event! The following contest will be for the Undisputed WWE Championship, and will be a special "Who Can Hold Their Breath For Longer" Grudge Match!!!

[loopydate]

JR: Bah Gawd, King! That poor wallaby never saw it coming! Damn him!

[Jonster]

The resist the urge to use the Spanish Announcetable Main Event Match - whoever puts their opponant through that announce table loses.

The 1 count pinfall match - like a 3 count, but shorter

[PorkSoda]

JR: Coming up next, A-Train will take on Miguel Periz in the dreaded Bikini Wax Of Doom!

[MVP]

Whomever botches more moves in 60 minutes wins.

JBL vs. Nathan Jones

[Jonster]

German Suplex Match - Whoever does most wins.

Angle vs Benoit

(actually that reminds me of a little game me and my friend had. Whenever Angle and Benoit were in a match together, we'd guess how many German Suplexes there'd be between them.
Think the average was 6 or 7)

[Nowhere Man]

JR: Bah Gawd, King! That poor wallaby never saw it coming! Damn him!

I'm not even going to ask what stipulation that entails, but it sends a cold shiver down my spine.

[Savio]

JR: it is a cum in a bottle match first person to cumin a bottle and sell it to a homeless person wins!

[Jonster]

A "both men with hands tied behind their back's" match.

A keep JR from saying BAHGAWD match (would that be such a bad thing?).

A let's hug and be friends match.

[El Santo]

JR: "Triple H and HBK are now in the ring, staring each other down like mad pariahs. Earlier, Hunter mentioned that had arranged with Bischoff the most exhausting, most degrading tag match for Bad Blood. Now, here thay are, and we are awaiting the announcement."

Triple H and HBK continue the staredown a bit longer. Suddenly, Triple H jabs his finger at HBK's shoulder.

HHH: "Tag! You're it!"

JR: "Bah God, Hunter is running like a scalded dog out of the ring! Shawn Michaels is... giggling! And skipping! In all my years in the business, I've never seen ANYTHING like this!!!"

[Wolverine]

Howard Finkel: The next match is a Mae Young on a pole match...

[Corkscrewed]

I was going to award the points to Loopy because anything with the word "wallaby" in it just HAS to be funny, but Wolverine takes the cake for giving something totally unexpected. :rofl:


What Hulk Hogan is asking for when he's saying his prayers.

Have fun, fellas. :cool: :lol:

[Corkscrewed]

"Oh Lord, please grant me a fourth move..."

[HankScorpio]

"Oh Lord, Why have you cursed me to look like a clown?? please give me my hair back..I'll retire if you do, for at least a year, Oh Lord"

[PorkSoda]

"Oh Lord, please make me feel young again so I can jump higher"

[HankScorpio]

"let me tell you something Brother...."

[Vastardikai]

"Well you Know something, Oh Exalted Dude, may Suburban Commando please have a sudden surge in the box office, Brother? I'm needing a new bulb for my tanning bed, Dude. In Jesus name I pray, brother. So whatcha gonna do, when the Hulkster, prays to you?"

[Mikey]

"Oh Lord, all I am asking for is to know is how to do a wristlock

[Disturbed316]

'Oh Lord...Wont you buy me....a Mercedes benz?'

[Ferocious]

Oh Brother, you are in heaven, Hulkster be my name,
Your loyal son.
My job now is done, in the WWE as I'm 87.
So give me today some hair on my head.
and forgive me my suplexes.
as I forgive those who suplexed against me.
Lead me not into the squared circle.
or leg drop me through tables.
For you own the company.
the ring and the roster.
for ever and ever
Mcmahon

[Wolverine]

"Oh brother, please let me have one more run with the title, Im only 100 years old"

[Ferocious]

"Oh brother, please let me have one more run with the title, Im only 100 years old"
Have some imagination and creative flair, Or youll be jobbing to Goldbird, RAWISMAVEN, Sledge and MAdoubleT..........all in the same night..............at a house show.........In Mongolia. :shifty:

PURE ASS

[Corkscrewed]

5000 Pure Class points for Ferocious for that!

If wrestlers had informercial products named after them.

[Corkscrewed]

Here's a quick obvious example so you get what sort of responses I'm aiming for:


"Introducing the new Helmsley Super Shovel! Now with Insta-Burying action! Bury entire droves of talent that pose a threat to you! Now for only four easy payments of $67.82!!!"

[Ferocious]

5000 Pure Class points for Ferocious for that!


thanks corky i shall treasure them greatly

[Ferocious]

The Rick Flair Kitchen Utensil set for those Ultimate Knife Edge Chops

[Corkscrewed]

^LMAO!!!

[Disturbed316]

The Steve Austin Egg beater, endorsed by wives up and down the country!

[Ferocious]

The Steve Austin Egg beater, endorsed by wives up and down the country!
PMSL you speak Pure Class

[Ferocious]

Rosey Spray Will make your house smell Rosey fresh. This stuff really is the S.H.I.T.

[Savio]

Bradshaw: Make money now, writtin from a person who can not make money for his company.

[Wolverine]

Hulk Hogan Tanning Spray-Guarenteed to give you that healthy orange glow

[Corkscrewed]

"Get the Kevin Nash SuperCrutches!!! These special heavy duty crutches are designed for constant use over and over and over again!!!"

[Wolverine]

The Kurt How To Book-How to be successful in every way even with a broken freakin neck...

[Jonster]

The Chris Benoit Charisma Spray. You too can have the charisma of a champion 18 years in the making.
Simply spray it on, and say goodbye to:
Excessive talking,
Smiling,
A tooth, and
Many many more features we just haven't got time to tell you about.

The Chris Benoit Charisma Spray is available now for our low low price of just £99.95.

Order now, and we'll throw in a copy of Rey Mysterio's Area Code's book - ABSOLUTELY FREE.

[Ferocious]

The OldSchool E & C Maternity guide book : Incase your feeling BROODy







OMG that sucked

[Disturbed316]

The OldSchool E & C Maternity guide book : Incase your feeling BROODy







OMG that sucked

PMSL you speak Pure Ass

;) :p

[PorkSoda]

The Rikishi toilet 3000, perfect for Backing That Ass Up in and giving your toilet the ultimate Stink Face!

[Champion of Europa]

"Let me introduce you to the new Rock cooking set. Now even you too can smell what The Rock is cooking. Now making things like lasagna, turkey, chicken noodle soup, and even pancakes can be much easier.

All you have to do is plug it in and the electricity of the millions and millions of Rock's fans will cook your food in seconds.

To order, all you have to do is pick up your phone, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass."

[Jonster]

"Introducing the Mick Foley Hearing Aid.

And here to tell you all about it: Who better than.... Kanyon?"

[Corkscrewed]

"The Van Helsing Hat, presented by Mark Calloway. Yes, now you too can be a supernatural vampire hunter who rides bikes and hangs around an Oompa Loompa!!"

[c4g2]

Introducing the... Kane fire-starter!!!

At a thrust of your hand, you can transform the area infront of you into a blazing inferno!!! It is much better than any ordinary lighter. Comes with a weird red-color mask for protection. Free urn for every fire-starter sold.

The fire truly burns within... the Kane fire-starter!!!

[Mikey]

The Ultimate Warrior book: One Dimentional Main Eventers for Dummies

[Corkscrewed]

316 points for Disturbed 316! Wives everywhere endorse it! :lol:

Inappropriate times to start Hulking up.

[Vastardikai]

Rev. Jim Ross: Satan, leave this man...

*Vastardikai starts shaking, his fists pumping, and he then does a finger point to the Preacher*

Rev Jim Ross: BAHGAWDSTUNNERUNPRETTIERPEGIGREEBBQSAUSEBAHGAWD!

[Mr. Nerfect]

Last night with Stephanie :shifty:...

Or

Vince McMahon: So, we're planning on giving you a push towards main eve...
*Gives the classic finger wag, and the classic punches, before hitting the boot and dropping the leg.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Triple H is posing for the Pedigree, which is he is supposed to hit and win the match, although putting you over as a serious contender for the World Heavyweight Championship in your debut match. But then...:'(

[Ferocious]

Stood In the bus queue,

Old Lady: Could you just stand there for me lovely so I can hold onto you as I step onto the bus.

Bus pulls up, Old lady grabs your jacket and tears a seam under the pressure caused by the weight of her fat saggy ass.

Me:*Head shake, Fist Pumps , Finger Point, A few Punches, Big Boot, Drop the leg.* What ya Gonna do when Ferociamania Runs Wild on you Sister?

[Disturbed316]

316 points for Disturbed 316! Wives everywhere endorse it! :lol:

:cool: :love: :cool:

[HankScorpio]

in an interview, just after they ask you if you have any previous experience.."well, let me tell ya brotha.." *off comes the shirt, finger starts pointing*...

[KillerWolf]

How's it like to have a son with the World Heavyweight Title tatooed to his expanding waist?
excellent

[KillerWolf]

*RVD speaking to 3rd graders*
RVD (to teacher) : Hey duuude why didn't you play my music mannnn I'm R-V-D. Well anyways kids just be cool ya know cool.

Kid: can you 5 star frog splash me

RVD: no dude

Kid: Please!
*Kids start chanting 5 star*

RVD: SHUT THE **** UP YOU LITTLE PEices duuuude where am I?
Jeff hardy: Hey Rob! Lets smoke some pot!
mmmm....k

[loopydate]

PREACHER: Do you, Patrick, take this woman to be your...

*Look up abruptly, wag finger. Punch, block, punch, whip, Big Boot. Legdrop!*

[Mikey]

Dahli Lama I want you to meet...

Guy: Look up abruptly, wag finger. Punch, block, punch, whip, Big Boot. Legdrop

[Disturbed316]

Guy having sex: Oh yeah, give it to me! Whose your daddy?

Women: YOU!

Guy: YOU!?

*Looks up abruptly, wag finger. Punch, block, punch, whip, Big Boot, Legdrop!*

[Champion of Europa]

*man runs to the toilet*

*explosive diahrrea*

*wags finger and shakes*

Guy: What are you gonna do, brother, when Montezuma's Revenge runs wild on you?!

[Jonster]

Guy having sex: Oh yeah, give it to me! Whose your daddy?

Women: YOU!

Guy: YOU!?

*Looks up abruptly, wag finger. Punch, block, punch, whip, Big Boot, Legdrop!*

:lol:

[Nowhere Man]

Priest: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of one of our own. He was a kind man, a loving husband, a dedicated father, and....

*Corpse looks up abruptly, wags finger. grabs Priest, Punch, block, punch, whip, Big Boot. Legdrop!*

[Corkscrewed]

Oh man, there were some good ones, but I'm going to have to give 316 more points to Disturbed. That was awesome!

Bad wrestling catch phrases.

[Corkscrewed]

"And that's the bottom line... or Stone Cold'll beat your wife!"

[Rock Bottom]

Stand back! There's a laxative comin' through.

[Corkscrewed]

(Alternatively, "Austin 3:16 says I just beat your wife!" would have worked too)

LOL at RB! Nice!

[c4g2]

Can you dig that.... booger?

[Vastardikai]

"Can you Suck it, Digga?"

[PorkSoda]

I am Mordecai! Feel Me! Touch Me! Sleep with me!

[Disturbed316]

Oh man, there were some good ones, but I'm going to have to give 316 more points to Disturbed. That was awesome!

:cool: :love: :cool: again

Man I rule :D

[Disturbed316]

'Whatcha gonna do, when pastamania runs wild on YOU!'

[Jonster]

If you smell... what the wok... Is cooking

[loopydate]

Got your nose!

[Nowhere Man]

Clap if you love Satan!

[loopydate]

These tights are...

*Crowd joins in*

TOO TIGHT!!!!!

[Ferocious]

D-Von Get the Cradles

[ItsTimeForAChange]

"Hey Vince. Think Randy Orton took spitting lessons from Bret Hart?"

"So I saw these GREAT cruiserweights wrestling the other day, I think they were from ECW or something, and..."

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REPz0Rz

Actually, pretty much everything thing is this thread is hilarious.

[ItsTimeForAChange]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Rock Bottom again. :(

[Ferocious]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REPz0Rz

Actually, pretty much everything thing is this thread is hilarious.
OMG YOUR READING SO 6 PAGES AGO

[Nowhere Man]

These tights are...

*Crowd joins in*

TOO TIGHT!!!!!

Not entirely sure why, but this one killed me.

[Vastardikai]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (see Wrestlecrap)

[Corkscrewed]

Can you Suck it, Digga?


I am Mordecai. Feel me. Touch me. Sleep with me.

LMAO! These two are leading right now, with Vastardikai giving me arguably the biggest laugh so far in this thread!

This is a great one, so I'll keep it going. Everyone's been spitting gold. :y:

[Corkscrewed]

Rest... in... fleece.... *rolls eyes and baas*

[Azriel]

"Enough is enough, and it's time for a change of clothes"

[Rock Bottom]

I'm the blowpopper.

[Azriel]

"Have a mediocre day"

[Corkscrewed]

"Watcha gonna do!!! When Hulkamania runs moderately tame... on... youuuuuuuuu?????"

[Disturbed316]

"I am the WORST THERE IS, THE WORST THERE WAS, AND THE WORST THERE EVER WILL BE"

[Rock Bottom]

Where?

Where?

Where?

One beer

Where?

Two beers

Where?

A shot of whiskey

Where?

[Disturbed316]

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

[Wolverine]

'huh?'

[Jonster]

I am an Amiga game, and I take ages to load.

Sorry, that was crap

[Wolverine]

Now everbody lets Tango

[Corkscrewed]

3000 points to Vastardikai.

What Sean O'Haire used to do to keep himself entertained inside his cage.

[Corkscrewed]

"OH MY GOSH, SHAWN! THERE'S BRET IN THE STANDS, AND HE'S COMING RIGHT AT YOUR WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! Nah... hahahaha, just kiddin' buddy. :lol:"

[Vastardikai]

Reporter: My name is I.P. Freely and our top story tonight: 25 people were killed in a tragic accident at a WWE event in Bum****, Idaho last night. The fans were enjoying a match between A-Train and Test when suddenly a cage fell from the top of the ring and landed in the crowd. Word has it that WWE Superstar Sean O'Haire was bored out of his mind and started swinging...

*change channel*

Me: Ooooooh, Playboy! :drool:

[MVP]

Threw his shit at Paul London's cage.

[loopydate]

"Hmm... Alabama is Montgomery. Alaska is Juneau. Arizona is..."

[OssMan]

"Wiggle......your.....big........toe"

[Wolverine]

Ohhh theres Jindrak *spits a loogie down*

[Disturbed316]

*Sean see's a guy below him*

Sean: 'Help! I'm traped! I cant get out! Hey, but I'm not tell you something you dont already know HAHAHAHAHAHAHA'

Guy: Shut up...

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>*Triple H comes out*

Sean: Hmm, I wonder if this means I'm above the glass ceiling.

*O'Haire sticks arm out of cage and lifts it up, his hand smacks some invisible barrier*

Sean: Damn.</font> :(

[loopydate]

"Eight billion five hundred forty-nine million one hundred seventy-six thousand three hundred twenty bottles of beer on the wall / Eight billion five hundred forty-nine million one hundred seventy-six thousand three hundred twenty bottles of beer / Take one down, pass it around / Eight billion five hundred forty-nine million one hundred seventy-six thousand three hundred nineteen bottles of beer on the wall

Eight billion five hundred forty-nine million one hundred seventy-six thousand three hundred nineteen bottles of..."

[Nowhere Man]

"Chapter one:

In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me a piece of advice that I've been turning over in my head ever since...."

[loopydate]

*Rocking back and forth*

I'mnottellingyouanythingyoudidn'talreadyknowI'mnottellingyouanythingyoudidn'talreadyknowI'mnottellin gyouanythingyoudidn'talreadyknowI'mnottellingyouanythingyoudidn'talreadyknowI'mnottellingyouanything youdidn'talreadyknow

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>He probably makes scratch marks on the cage, marking the number of days that he's been locked in there, sorta like what they do in prison.</font>

[Corkscrewed]

Loopy gets credit for some nice ones, but Assman had me chuckling the most, for whatever reason. 1000 points for him!

Hmm... we'll try this one. It can either be gold, or it might suck. Oh well.
Interesting wrestling/wrestler-inspired euphemisms.

[Nowhere Man]

"Larry's not coming to work today."

"Really? Is he sick?"

"Nah, it's his turn to take care of all the filing today, so I think he just lost his smile."

"Damn, I hate it when he does that. I thought he liked office work."

"Yeah, but filing really gets to him. It's sort of his weak spot, y'know, his Nash's quad."

[loopydate]

"How was work today, honey?"

"Not good."

"Why?"

"You know how Mister Johnson wanted to see me in his office?"

"Yeah? And you thought you were going to finally get that promotion."

"Yeah. Well. It turns out that, even though everybody at work loves me, and I consistently put together the best presentations and work in the whole company, he gave the job to his son-in-law, and now he's spreading these horrible rumors about me: about how I'm not management material because I don't work the 'company style.'"

"Oh, dear. You've been Huntered."

[El Santo]

*Looking at THE LADIES.*

"Man Oh man! Will you look at the Ric Flairs on that one!"

[Champion of Europa]

*three friends are walking on a basketball court and one falls, hits the concrete, and bleeds*

Friend: THAT WAS ONE SWEET NASH!

[OssMan]

*Two guys are getting into a fight and one spits on the other*

Bystander: HE JUST WENT RANDY ORTON ON YOUR ASS!

[MVP]

A woman walks out of her house with a black eye.

"Oh man, did you just get the Steve Austin treatment?"

[Nowhere Man]

*Two guys are getting into a fight and one spits on the other*

Bystander: HE JUST WENT RANDY ORTON ON YOUR ASS!

*Two guys are getting into a fight, and one of them tries to attack the other but screws up and falls on his ass*

HE JUST WENT RANDY ORTON ON YOUR ASS!

(Sorry. I know I'm only limited to one, but I couldn't help it)

[loopydate]

(Sorry. I know I'm only limited to one, but I couldn't help it)
You can have more than one. You just can't go back-to-back.

"Hey, Superman!"

"What? Whoops!"

"Oh, man. He just went all Ultimo on his cape..."

[OssMan]

*Two guys are getting into a fight, and one of them tries to attack the other but screws up and falls on his ass*

HE JUST WENT RANDY ORTON ON YOUR ASS!

(Sorry. I know I'm only limited to one, but I couldn't help it)More like went Lita on your ass.

[Corkscrewed]

:lol: at El Santo! 2000 points for the Ric Flairs. Geez, Trish has some amazing Ric Flairs. ;)


If Olympic Sports worked like the WWE.

[c4g2]

Announcer: And now its Benoit squaring up for the high jump...

*Jump*

JR: BAHGAWD BAH GAWD Benoit did it he smashes the glass celing he has broken the ceiling!!! Using a ladder, he has SMASHED THE CEILING BAH GAWD BAH GAWD

[OssMan]

As the French curling team and the Canadian curling team faced off in an intense match, the crowd started chanting "USA! USA! USA!"

[big_bluto]

Olympic Weight Wrestling Finals:
US lifter is about to break world record, french guy runs out and clobbers him (carrying flag & poodle).
US guy gets up, busts a rap and throws him a packet of nuts.
Announcer: BAHGAWD! DAMNED-FRENCH-PHENOMS-STUNNER-PEDIGREE-BAHGAWD!

[Disturbed316]

Freestyle Wrestling:

*Guy #1 has a basic headlock on Guy #2, Guy #2 counters in to THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!! He then pulls down his straps and puts Guy #1 in ANKLE LOCK!!! and he taps out*

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Jim Ross: King, somethings going on in the back... What we're seeing is a live shot of the aftermath... It appears that someone has attacked Nancy Kerrigan backstage... It appears that her knee is hurt bad King...

King: PUPPIES!!!!!!

JR: King, figure skaters don't have puppies. :shifty:

[PureHatred]

JR: This man and wife from the great state of Florida are just moments away from winning Olympic gold in this mixed pairs figure skating competition, she leaps in the air, ready to pull off this majestic lift...

Lawler: Woo hoo..he's gettin' a handful!!

JR: BAHGAWD HE JUST DROVE HIS OWN WIFE INTO THE ICE LITERALLYBROKERNINHALFBAHGAWD!!!

Lawler: He's skating over to the first row, and he's now playing tonsil hockey with the judge from Finland!! Woo Hoo

JR: JEZZEBEL!!!

[El Santo]

Announcer: "Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia: the Canadian Gymnastics Team!"

[Corkscrewed]

LOL. I think PureHatred had the best one.


Bad WWE-inspired pickup lines.