"100,001" Replies

[Tazz Dan]

THE RYBACK

[Tazz Dan]

#destor

[Lock Jaw]

http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/8344/ug00523c.gif
http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9095/ug0405f1.gif

"We're a Totem Pole!"

[Keith]

Sin Cara carrying Rey on his shoulders?

I bet it was Rey's idea, kinda like saying "I'm still the #1 masked luchador around here, buddy. You carry me".

[Ultra Mantis]

He might be the #1 luchador but he still can't afford a green t-shirt to go with his new gear.

[Keith]

Because most likely that gear isn't supposed to go with a green t-shirt, but since Rey's gained weight, he's insecure about going out in public shirtless and showing his gut.

[Cool King]

Yeah, Sin Cara was looking pretty green on SmackDown this week....

[Lock Jaw]

Rey looks like Aqualad

[Lock Jaw]

Or a Watermelon

[Providence Peep]

http://www.funny16.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/funny-dog-picture-rey-mysterios-dog.jpg

[Providence Peep]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cWcuJM9QIG4/TEmbSmNNwXI/AAAAAAAACjo/xJp1bcSalMk/s1600/rey-mysterio%252Bwwe%252Bsuperstar%252Bdownload%2Boi.jpg

[Emperor Smeat]

http://gifsoup.com/view1/4509997/talkingbout-o.gif

[Cool King]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3qgW-gXvWz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Emperor Smeat]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6Vrmp70C7yo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Lock Jaw]

http://i.imgur.com/Qbcrj.gif

[Corporate CockSnogger]

http://gifsoup.com/view1/4509997/talkingbout-o.gif

Best heel in the business

[Lock Jaw]

http://gifsoup.com/view1/4509907/primesault-o.gif

[Keith]

I wish Big Show would buckle down and get back into that shape.

[Lock Jaw]

http://gifsoup.com/view4/4495064/truck-o.gif

[Lock Jaw]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5bxsvDchz1r324lio2_250.gif

[Lock Jaw]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3m58sDy251r324lio1_500.gif
Best Bros

[Lock Jaw]

http://gifsoup.com/view2/4474004/ripddk-o.gif

[Lock Jaw]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maqd3jcTxQ1r324lio1_250.gif

[Lock Jaw]

http://i50.tinypic.com/rj2hdc.png

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/t2ZulO6DyM4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dtlgGZOVfPQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Whose this bitch?

[loopydate]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maqd3jcTxQ1r324lio1_250.gif

I used to love when DDP would hit an especially-impressive Cutter, then sit up with a "Holy shit, even I can't believe I pulled that off!" expression on his face.

[Lock Jaw]

Whose this bitch?

One of DDP's daughters. No idea how old she is.

[Cool King]

http://i.imgur.com/kUbJT.gif

[Lock Jaw]

Miss him

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/n8f4D0piTPc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Wanna hear this theme randomly and have him just come out and split some wigs.

[Juan]

WHOA, Rock showin’ off a little too much of them pearly white rocks in his head...

What?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

One of DDP's daughters. No idea how old she is.

Kim had a child?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/734581_10151456627957674_462362855_n.jpg

More like Maxx Muscle, DDP and The Diamond Doll.

[Cool King]

Independent wrestler The Big O (known for his sidekick role on WWE wrestler Zack Ryder's retired YouTube series) tried out for TNA on Saturday.

The Big O (real name Adam Ohriner) was part of a Gut Check try-out camp in Fayetteville, N.C. prior to Saturday's house show at Crown Arena.

The Fayetteville Observer newspaper covered Big O's try-out and included a quote on just starting out in the wrestling business 18 months ago.

"You've got to have good basics - a good foundation," said Ohriner. "You definitely want to show off what you can do, but for me it's always about safety first. And once you earn that trust between you and your opponent, then you can cut loose a bit more."

The newspaper's story also includes quotes from Gut Check trainer D-Lo Brown on the importance of wrestlers understanding the basics before trying to be spectacular in the ring.

[Cool King]

Remember those videos a while back of "Rosa" and "AJ" backstage and what seemed like a hidden camera thing? I think soon after the were uploaded, they were taken down.

Anyway, apparently, the guy who uploaded them is back and uploaded this video yesterday.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/961P6Vp5hl4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Pretty much everyone is saying it's....

Brad Maddox.

I guess that's possible, especially when you read the video's description....

Did Anonymous give WWE CEO Vince McMahon the tape? Will he tell us why he is here? Find out on WWE Monday Night Raw: 2/4/13


And also the description on the uploaders channel....

Want to see what really goes on backstage at WWE? Look no further, I will upload anything and everything here. I'm tired of not being noticed nor given a shot. So they want real personality I got lots of it.

[Cool King]

But if it is that individual who I mentioned in the spoiler tags, then I think it's going to be a pretty awesome gimmick for that person.

I'm just basing it on that video though.

[VSG]

lol Gut-check trainer D-Lo Brown :'(

[VSG]

Seriously doubt there will be a guy wearing a blood laced mask on WWE Raw.

[Cool King]

Seriously doubt there will be a guy wearing a blood laced mask on WWE Raw.

"ketchup".

[VSG]

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight".

[VSG]

Also, your font colour sucks balls when viewed on an LCD screen smartphone btw.

[erickman]

But if it is that individual who I mentioned in the spoiler tags, then I think it's going to be a pretty awesome gimmick for that person.

I'm just basing it on that video though.

kind of looks like a young sting, he can be a sting rip-off and beat on the sheld

[Cool King]

Also, your font colour sucks balls when viewed on an LCD screen smartphone btw.

Another one added to the "your font colour sucks" group. :(

[VSG]

It's Sting. Or Stalker Taker. Sorry to let you guys down.

[VSG]

Stalker Taker is totally going to be a catch phrase.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Staker Taker the vampire hunter

[Cool King]

Well, that would give Sarah Michelle Gellar a reason to appear on WWE TV, I guess.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Buffy should end the streak

[VSG]

Probably will need help from Angel for that.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

You're treading a thin line.

[VSG]

That's what Buffy told Angel when he tried to finger her.

[Shadrick]

Finger her? What are you, 15?

[VSG]

25 :'(

[Corporate CockSnogger]

I'm gonna finger all of you in a minute.

[VSG]

Still waiting :foc:

[Cool King]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lpOeHnotqDQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Droford]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zNCwb5yoQtw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Cool King]

Another one of these videos.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6r6jTRwwNQc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.minus.com/ibkeiTqynogkHe.gif

[VSG]

Still think this is all BS based on his 1st video:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wT-uwqyF41Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Unless Lesnar is Anonymous in which case he isn't anonymous anymore :D

[Cool King]

Still think this is all BS based on his 1st video:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wT-uwqyF41Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Unless Lesnar is Anonymous in which case he isn't anonymous anymore :D

So when you say it's BS, do you mean that you think it's not WWE associated and it's just some random guy?

[VSG]

Pretty much.

[Cool King]

Pretty much.

Yeah, but the videos do look pretty well done. Very professional.

Also, the video you posted was uploaded two weeks ago and whoever the hell it is seems to have some sort of GTV-esq gimmick. Along with that, the "debut" date on the video says this past Monday. And this past Monday we got the footage of Brad Maddox being attacked, though it wasn't specified who gave Vince the tape.

Then on the guy's Twitter account, he said Vince "said his "name"" on Raw on Monday. Vince did mention Brad Maddox and Maddox has been going around with a cameraman everwhere.

Also, the description on the uploaders channel is quite "Brad Maddox". Maybe Maddox is "Anonymous".

Yeah, Jesse Ventura can be heard on the first video and it shows Linda's campaign but recently, the WWE haven't really been shy of mentioning things outside the "WWE Universe", so to speak. Most recent being Ric Flair constantly mentioning his divorces. Then we've had DX in the past breaking the fourth wall and on YouTube, we've had Zack Ryder and also Road Dogg & Josh Mathews pretty much doing the same with their shows. :-\

Meh, I'm probably looking too much into it, I always seem to with these sorts of things, but it is interesting, even if it is just some crazy guy.

[Cool King]

Then again, it could just be Johnny Curtis.

[CSL]

that Jesse Ventura audio is from his recent RF Video shoot, seems like a strange thing for them to use given the million and one things they could have used from their own library or a more "official" source getting the same kind of point over. Stranger things have happened tho

[Emperor Smeat]

Probably just another fake considering the source.

Seems too much of a sudden character switch for it to be Maddox nor did anyone new debut on Jan 28 to make any real sense.

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"@<a href="https://twitter.com/gashouse_jay">gashouse_jay</a>: @<a href="https://twitter.com/bigelangston">bigelangston</a> I think you're bout to take the internet title from Zach ryder" Only if I can pawn it for baby oil money.</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/298206820525285376">February 3, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[CSL]

http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/487987_507503772622015_1753329626_n.jpg

[Dark One]

It was obviously The Shield.

[Vastardikai]

Joe Flacco: "Not Like This!"

[Dark One]

Someone needs to splice up Cole's "It's The Shield!" cries from the Rumble with CBS's footage of the lights out in the Superdome. I am too lazy to make this happen, but someone should.

[OldSchoolFan]

I wish I had been working there... the second power was restored I would have been playing The Shield theme... imagine the laughs from wrestling fans and WTF looks from non fans when the call signs started.

[Cool King]

Wait, the lights went out during the Super Bowl?

[Cool King]

It's quite obviously The Undertaker.

He was in Fulham on Saturday and soon after that, he must have jumped on a plane and flew to New Orleans.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3qgW-gXvWz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The Undertaker probably has some sort of vendetta with popular sports in each country.

[mike adamle]

I hope The Shield faces Team Hell No for the tag belts at Mania. Would be awesome to see some version of Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black at WrestleMania

[James Diesel]

Remember those videos a while back of "Rosa" and "AJ" backstage and what seemed like a hidden camera thing? I think soon after the were uploaded, they were taken down.

Anyway, apparently, the guy who uploaded them is back and uploaded this video yesterday.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/961P6Vp5hl4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Pretty much everyone is saying it's....

Brad Maddox.

I guess that's possible, especially when you read the video's description....




And also the description on the uploaders channel....



Through further investigation of this, I can't trust it as real based on the "My Website" link provided on the profile.

http://wwetheshield.wix.com/wweanonymouscam

There's no way this can be a serious anything

[VSG]

lol

[Cool King]

WWE.com has posted the Super Bowl commercial from 1999 without the "WWF Blur" everywhere, though Sable's scene has been completely removed.

http://www.wwe.com/videos/wwes-classic-1999-commercial-26089094

[Cool King]

Through further investigation of this, I can't trust it as real based on the "My Website" link provided on the profile.

http://wwetheshield.wix.com/wweanonymouscam

There's no way this can be a serious anything

Yeah I found that out last night.

Apparently, the guy tries to sell T-shirts and shit. Apparently, he's been doing this thing for a long time now.

It's still interesting though. Instead of being all "Oh, which WWE Superstar can this be!?", it's now "What kind of sad individual would go to such lengths in order to swindle people out of their money?"

What got me thinking it could be WWE releated though was the professional quality of his videos and also the "date". It just turns out that the "date" was just a pretty damn good/lucky coincidence.

[James Diesel]

Well, with all the dirtsheets out there, combined with the user-friendliness of technology these days, it's becoming more and more trivial to pull off a good scam. And this guy clearly knows what he's doing.

Aside from the shit quality of the website.

I mean, if you're gonna have an elaborate scam at least sepnd the money on a domain name and maintain a professional looking site.

[James Diesel]

Fuck, the word scam is in the link. What a dick.

[James Diesel]

And there's this little nugget at the bottom

Copyright 2013, WWE Anonymous Cam all rights reserved © under WWE, All footage, Text, Media, Granted permission by WWE

But right fucking next to it is a webmaster login?

Watch this fucktard get hacked

[Dark One]

Challenge accepted. And by accepted, I mean "I'll try the usual suspects and then forget about this whole thing by lunch time."

[Schlomey]

I giggle every time an announcer says "he just took a shot to the face".

[Xero]

Rock not on RAW tonight. Kinda thought he'd be on every RAW as WWE champion. Guess I was wrong.

I don't even understand how they can conscious this in the storyline. "Oh, Rock is back AND WWE Champion! He cares about his fans... But he's not here tonight to entertain you, so here's the guy who Rock beat for the title that's been here the whole time every week."

I mean, seriously. Being in a huge program is one thing (last year vs. Cena), but not having your WWE champion on TV because he has better shit to do kind of makes WWE look second rate.

[Schlomey]

Rock not on RAW tonight. Kinda thought he'd be on every RAW as WWE champion. Guess I was wrong.

I fully support the guys in the back who dislike a part time champ. Never been huge on The Rock..Maybe if it was Stone Cold I wouldn't be so cranky.

[Innovator]

I fully support the guys in the back who dislike a part time champ. Never been huge on The Rock..Maybe if it was Stone Cold I wouldn't be so cranky.

I'm sure they all dislike the amount of money Rock brings in too.

[Schlomey]

Ya there is a bunch of reasons for them to be jealous but as a fan I'd appreciate if the flag bearer made himself available for TV...like every other champion...ever.

[Xero]

For clarification, it'd be different if they even injured him or something in the storyline for a week. At least then he has an out. But nope, he's just not going to show up with no good reason other than "I'm above this".

[Schlomey]

He does have a lot of responsibilities. Commercials/TV/Movies .....and I'm sure it's a legit excuse...but as a die hard fan of WWE and a die hard fan of guys who bust their ass...I don't like this.

If he didn't come out and talk about "being home" and "never leaving" and "being there for the people" and all that jazz it may be a different story.

But since he does come out constantly saying he is "here" he should be....HERE.

[Skippord]

I'm sure they all dislike the amount of money Rock brings in too.
do they get paid any of that money?

I don't understand how wrestling payment works

[James Diesel]

He needs to just let go of the fucking title and leave. Yea, he brings in money, but not SO MUCH MORE that the company can't survive without him. If anything, the off and on schedule (ESPECIALLY FOR THE "TOP GUY"(used VERY loosely)) confuses the viewers and just fucks with the whole arch of things.

[XL]

do they get paid any of that money?

I don't understand how wrestling payment works
On top of their contract, they get a bonus based on the gate and the PPV buyrate. If Rock's presence draws larger crowds/bigger buyrates, the guys get an increased bonus.

I think.

[Schlomey]

10/1 odds that he will appear in some sort of pre-recorded message they will try and play off that it is live.

[Shadrick]

Rock not on RAW tonight. Kinda thought he'd be on every RAW as WWE champion. Guess I was wrong.

I don't even understand how they can conscious this in the storyline. "Oh, Rock is back AND WWE Champion! He cares about his fans... But he's not here tonight to entertain you, so here's the guy who Rock beat for the title that's been here the whole time every week."

I mean, seriously. Being in a huge program is one thing (last year vs. Cena), but not having your WWE champion on TV because he has better shit to do kind of makes WWE look second rate.

He was scheduled to miss a Raw and a Smackdown up until Mania. This is the RAW. He already missed the Smackdown.

Honestly, it only bothers marks. It's really not that serious.

[Shadrick]

lol, i'm just now reading this page. jesus, the smarkiness is astounding. i'll come back later.

[Schlomey]

I guess I'm a mark then. All because I believe that a champion should represent the company not themselves.

[The Condor]

Vince made a deal with the devil here. No matter what it seems he will piss off a segment of viewers.

[The Condor]

And by the way, I agree Schlomey.

[Emperor Smeat]

The WWE could have avoid The Rock's schedule issues if they had just made him the champion at EC and not the Rumble.

Cena-Rock II won't really start gaining steam until after EC and would have been an easy way to include Punk to make it a Triple Threat.

[Schlomey]

The WWE could have avoid The Rock's schedule issues if they had just made him the champion at EC and not the Rumble.

Cena-Rock II won't really start gaining steam until after EC and would have been an easy way to include Punk to make it a Triple Threat.

Very strongly agree with this. This could have also given Punk/Rock a chance at another good 1 on 1 match with or without a stipulation with even more heat if Punk would have gotten away with it at the Rumble.

[Chavo Classic]

It's 2013, and CZW is still dumb as shit

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/I3knc5qQVgU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Vastardikai]

I want to shove that airhorn up that son of a bitches' ass...

[Cool King]

WWE.com presents....

Five reasons WrestleMania trumps the Super Bowl

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/f.jpg

On Super Bowl Sunday,#WrestleManiaisbetterthanSuperBowl trended worldwide on Twitter. WWE.com explores five reasons that this may not be so much of an opinion, as an undeniable fact.

1. The stakes just make more sense

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/CHAMP.jpg

At the Super Bowl, two teams leave everything on the field battle, all to take possession of a trophy and ring that are frankly impractical. While no doubt a prestigious prize, the winners can’t simply strap the Vince Lombardi Trophy around their waist. Its way too heavy to be carried around daily, allowing them to show their greatness. Not to mention that there is only one trophy for an entire group of guys who, let’s face it, probably have a pretty hard time sharing.

While it’s true a player can bring a ring with them and, we suppose, they can hoist it high in the air whenever they want to show they’re a champion, the reality is that people are going to have to squint to see it. Plus, it can’t be any fun to have that ring on one’s figure if he develops a pinched nerve or carpal tunnel or something.

At WrestleMania, on the other hand, several championships are contested — including in most cases the illustrious WWE, World Heavyweight, Intercontinental and United States Titles. These are big, beautiful-looking symbols of golden excellence that not only mirror the greatness of the warrior who wears it, but also fit easily in most overhead storage bins.

And since we are talking about titles, it’s worth mentioning that at WrestleMania, the current champion is always involved when he is dethroned by a would-be challenger. How many New York Giants fans would have preferred to see their team get the change to defend their title reign against the Baltimore Ravens rather than just watching it sail away?

2. A blackout is actually a good thing

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/re.jpg

When the lights suddenly went out on this year’s Super Bowl, what followed were cries of technical difficulties, hastily written apologies from the NFL and a change in momentum that nearly cost the Baltimore Ravens the game.

When the lights go out at The Showcase of the Immortals, though, that usually means The Undertaker’s streak is about to be contested. The winning Super Bowl records of dynasties like Pittsburgh, San Francisco, Dallas and New England pale in comparison to The Phenom’s legendary 20-0 record at The Showcase of the Immortals. Translation, the darkness is nothing more than the prelude to another great WrestleMania moment.

3. Backstage access trumps overhyped commercials

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/back.jpg

A 30-second commercial at the Super Bowl costs millions of dollars. Perhaps because of the importance placed on these game-break extravaganzas, there will inevitably be people at your Super Bowl party who can’t help sharing that, “… [They] don’t even care about the game; [they’re] just interested in the commercials.” But in reality, when was the last time more than one or two of those commercials were even any good?

At WrestleMania, though, the action is nonstop. When a match comes to an end, you don’t immediately cut to the latest pop sensation, dancing with a soft drink that probably never even touched her lips from fear that she wouldn’t be able to stay in the shape to, you know, dance.

Instead, you get exclusive access behind the curtain, finding out what’s going on with your favorite Superstars and Divas as they prepare to step onto The Grandest Stage of Them All. And with WWE.com, and now the WWE App, supplementing the action, it knocks the chips right out of the bag.

So what do you like better: a spirited pre-match interview with WWE Champion The Rock or seeing how a Clydesdale can make you cry?

4. For an incompetent referee, the punishment often fits the crime

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/Ref.jpg

If a Super Bowl referee makes a mistake — say like missing a clear holding call that could have made the difference in the crucial final moments of the game (Editor’s Note: This story may have been written by a 49ers fan) — the fans will scream outrage, the announcers and replays will point the ref’s blunder out to millions, and the press and social media alike will take them to task.

But if a WWE Superstar like Ryback, Big Show or Randy Orton suffers an injustice at the hands of a referee on April 3, that official better run for the hills as fast as they possibly can. That’s because it is not unheard of for WWE’s mistake-prone officials to find themselves immediately receiving physical retribution for their action — the kind of vengeance that would make San Francisco’s Jim Harbaugh more than a little jealous.

5. WrestleMania is simply more rewarding for the fans

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/02/Fun.jpg

A member of the WWE Universe is always going to have more fun than his football counterpart. One simple reason for this is they have a much higher chance of seeing their favorite Superstars compete. This year, popular teams like the New England Patriots, the Green Bay Packers, the Denver Broncos, and the New York Jets and Giants all spent the Super Bowl sitting home, eating a wide variety of wings and chili. While that does sound tasty, it also means fans who like any team other than the 49ers and the Ravens had no one to cheer for other than “the team that beat [their] team” or “didn’t beat [their] team,” one in their same conference, or one with a retiring player or with a movie made about him.

At every WrestleMania, though, you will always get to see your favorite Superstars and Divas competing in the biggest matches of their storied careers.

Moreover, the WWE Universe knows that while WrestleMania is WWE’s best show of the year, it carries with it no huge let down when it’s all over. The action will continue the following night and every week of the year — long after the Super Bowl MVP is off to Disneyland.

To top it off, when someone says that WrestleMania represents a global audience, they aren’t kidding. When a good part of the world hears mention of football, they think of a sport where the players can’t use their hands and the crowds can be more unruly than back in ECW. WrestleMania is seen in no less than 140 countries, making it a truly worldwide phenomenon.

[Schlomey]

Is it just me or does David Lee look like Jack Swaggers brother?

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2009/08/11197768.jpg

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/537807_10151494013942526_1890029254_n.jpg

[Cool King]

The WWE's Facebook account has just posted this.

The most highly anticipated Hall of Fame induction is now a reality. The longest-reigning WWE Champion of all time, Bruno Sammartino, returns to Madison Square Garden on the night before WrestleMania 29 to take his rightful place as a WWE Hall of Famer.

http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/485205_10151288769201443_1684951021_n.png

[Emperor Smeat]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/bc50ff2e0840fb7deb6ab49e20dee780/tumblr_mhnrzlEBVs1rjw48xo1_1280.jpg

[Flash Funk]

Good for Bruno. I just hope he doesn't back out on actually showing up. Hating Vince or not, he deserves to go in and I am glad he finally accepted. They should cap this years inductees at five or so, because the rest of the names are going to be lame in comparison to the first four.

[Dark One]

Good for Bruno. I just hope he doesn't back out on actually showing up. Hating Vince or not, he deserves to go in and I am glad he finally accepted. They should cap this years inductees at five or so, because the rest of the names are going to be lame in comparison to the first four.

Cue Shinsen with Bobby Jaggers shenanigans...

[James Diesel]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/537817_507790809259978_2141903791_n.jpg

[ron the dial]

lol just watched colt cabana and julius smokes do a duet at the beginning of the conclusion. fucking dying over here. can't find a video or i'd post it (granted, i didn't look that hard).

[Poit]

I'm watching a presentation at work, and the presenter's name is Ken Anderson. When he introduced himself, I couldn't help but think "... Anderson".

[Volare]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/bc50ff2e0840fb7deb6ab49e20dee780/tumblr_mhnrzlEBVs1rjw48xo1_1280.jpg

Note the Harley Quinn.....

[KyleEmmott]

Could someone kind of fill me in on Bray Wyatt?

[CSL]

he cuts good promos and has an interesting Waylon Mercy-esque character, look them up on YT

[Poit]

Bray Wyatt's character is basically a southern cult leader.

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.minus.com/iFTBuVPBd4KR7.gif

[Juan]

Ouch

[Juan]

Has anyone been following Big E Langston on twitter tonight? Good stuff

[CSL]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BCUCxjZCMAA0rj9.jpg

[ron the dial]

i love listening to homicide and julius smokes cut joint promos because i have no idea what they are saying most of the time but i can't stop smiling.

"peep dis, peep dis, we been chillin with master p and he taught us how to deep fry on the real so we gonna destroy him, we gonna deep fry him for real. he gon die tonight. somebody gon die tonight! ye-ye-yeah!" FUCKING JULIUS SMOKES

[KaosDarksol]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BCUCxjZCMAA0rj9.jpg

Anybody else in the company posts a picture like that we would be hearing next week on raw... YOU'RE FIRED!!!

[James Steele]

He isn't even flipping the bird, though. Unless he has vienna sausage fingers all of the sudden. It just looks like he is holding his fist up.

[James Steele]

Who released that picture?

[Dark One]

Has anyone been following Big E Langston on twitter tonight? Good stuff


Every new account should automatically be set to follow Big E upon registering with Twitter, like Tom was for MySpace.

[Xero]

If you don't follow Big E. Langston you're gonna have a mediocre time on Twitter.

[Innovator]

Big E Langston ‏@BigELangston
"@PureGristle: @gashouse_jay You don't have a baby-oil sponsorship like @RandyOrton ?" My Q Score isn't that high yet. Baby steps.

[Dark One]

I think I should go into random thread across all the forums on here and just start screaming "TALK ABOUT BIG E. MORE!" like Jericho did for Barrett that one time on NXT.

[Emperor Smeat]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5d5345e91175d7a32f8f7134f0e8f36a/tumblr_mhqgrbs1CV1rqx5igo1_250.gif

[Xero]

Warning: Hogan penis ahead.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/2812cb352642ee1437a62d3dff86db3c/tumblr_mhq5neJjZ11ro5d18o1_500.jpg

[Cool King]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kSe1maLmLUI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Juan]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5d5345e91175d7a32f8f7134f0e8f36a/tumblr_mhqgrbs1CV1rqx5igo1_250.gif

I don't get it

[Emperor Smeat]

Just some of his random Hall of Pain trash talking.

If he doesn't get what he wants or someone causes a problem, he's coming to collect and usually involves a beating.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6cBUD0i7NP8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Juan]

I should have known

[Dark One]

I'm pretty sure Paul Heyman looking distraught and pleading with Brock's future victims to leave the ring is the greatest thing ever.

[Razzamajazz]

he really does a convincing job

[Emperor Smeat]

http://gifsoup.com/view2/4518814/ihateducks-o.gif

[Joesgonnakillyou]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VHlg-WIk01s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Two things from this:

1) Roddy Piper really is amazing
2) If they had smarks in the 80s they'd be moaning that Piper should have destroyed him.

[Shisen Kopf]

Just saw John Laurinitis leaving sears at the mall here in Clearwater. Dude had a rasslemania 28 shirt and flip flops. Looking good!

[KaosDarksol]

Just saw John Laurinitis leaving sears at the mall here in Clearwater. Dude had a rasslemania 28 shirt and flip flops. Looking good!

did you shout out people power?

[Wishbone]

did you shout out people power?

Nah Shisen's too much of a pussy for that.

[Juan]

Just saw this at the Goodwill. Obviously, one of the guys is Yoshi Tatsu, but who is the other guy supposed to be? HHH?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y198/ThatJuanGuy1/20130206_145819_zps6817e8dc.jpg

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

yes

[Juan]

Looks like a viking

[Juan]

Who could ever forget that epic Tatsu/HHH feud?

[Cool King]

Just saw this at the Goodwill. Obviously, one of the guys is Yoshi Tatsu, but who is the other guy supposed to be? HHH?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y198/ThatJuanGuy1/20130206_145819_zps6817e8dc.jpg

Yeah, it's Triple H.

I've never heard of WWE Squinkies in my life though.

[Cool King]

They look terrible.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b190/wookietattoo/Mobile%20Uploads/2012-02-16082533.jpg

[Emperor Smeat]

Who's the one in the blue mask supposed to be, Mr America?

[Triple Naitch]

The Sgt. Slaughter one is pretty mint.

[CSL]

Who's the one in the blue mask supposed to be, Mr America?

http://nerdreactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/WM27_Photo_063.jpg

[Cool King]

Who's the one in the blue mask supposed to be, Mr America?

http://superherouniverse.com/art/data/527/rey_mysterio_as_captain_america_1.jpg

[Ultra Mantis]

Who's the one in the blue mask supposed to be, Mr America?

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f178/mantiszero/rey_mysterio_as_captain_america_1_zpsc69fec32.jpg

[XL]

Hoping Rey goes for a Bane costume this year.

[mike adamle]

Watching Survivor Series 1993 right now. Feel like this one is a forgotten classic, awesome matches left and right on this show.

[Skippord]

Squinkies are the worst thing ever

[mike adamle]

Watching Survivor Series 1993 right now. Feel like this one is a forgotten classic, awesome matches left and right on this show.

Opener and Hart-Knights match were classics.

[Cool King]

They look terrible.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b190/wookietattoo/Mobile%20Uploads/2012-02-16082533.jpg

I forgot to ask, but who is the bald guy between Slaughter and Punk?

I thought it was Kane at first but he's wearing blue, so it can't be him.

[Cool King]

Actually, I've just Googled it and found out that it's supposed to be Stone Cold.

That's laughable.

[James Steele]

They picked the most random collection of superstars to do a toy line with.

[James Steele]

Hornswoggle
John Morrison
Sgt. Slaughter
Stone Cold
CM Punk
Yoshi Tatsu
Rey Mysterio
Goldust
Undertaker
??? (Left and behind of Mysterio -- Maybe Sheamus)
??? (Far back middle -- Maybe Asian Honky Tonk Man?)
??? (Behind Stone Cold/Next to Undertaker -- Maybe Highlander Robbie)

[Cool King]

??? (Left and behind of Mysterio)
??? (Far back middle)
??? (Behind Stone Cold/Next to Undertaker)

The Miz
Honky Tonk Man
Randy Orton

[Corporate CockSnogger]

I'm guessing Sheamus, Yokozuna and Jim Neidhart.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Or what Cool King said.

[Cool King]

Though I did think Orton was Chavo at first.

[Triple Naitch]

The one behind Stone Cold is Orton.

No one can ever get his facial hair right.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Why does Randy Orton have a goatee? Screw these toys straight to hell.

[Ultra Mantis]

Looks like Sheamus (or a ginger Jericho), Honky Tonk Man and... Chavo

[mike adamle]

Opener and Hart-Knights match were classics.

Main event wasn't as good but was still great as well. Bobby Heenan with the line of the night "Ludvig Borga: the star of the 90s!"

[Cool King]

I personally think that WWE Squinkies are one of, if not the, worst WWE merchandise ever.

They're so diabolically bad and ugly as hell.

Take Hornswoggle for example. That thing is fucking horrendous. Who would want to play with that or have it in their room?

[Savio]

The one on the right is the guy from the shield

[James Steele]

I personally think that WWE Squinkies are one of, if not the, worst WWE merchandise ever.

They're so diabolically bad and ugly as hell.

Take Hornswoggle for example. That thing is fucking horrendous. Who would want to play with that or have it in their room?

Google "WWE Talking Soap"

[Cool King]

The name alone tells me that it's going to be bad.

[Vastardikai]

Great, toys of figures that look like they're taking a shit...

[KaosDarksol]

I just realized where Daniel Bryan got his yes chant from. He watched the n64 kid video too many times

[Volare]

I had a dream I was watching WM 29 and for the entrances of Triple H and Lesnar....Motorhead was playing on the same stage as Metallica doing Enter Sandman/The Game together.


Today is a good day.

[Shadrick]

that would be fucking awesome.

[Schlomey]

Nobody this new should be allowed to make over 5 shitty threads in a day....

[mike adamle]

Main event wasn't as good but was still great as well. Bobby Heenan with the line of the night "Ludvig Borga: the star of the 90s!"

Nevermind, line of the night still goes to Bobby Heenan, but is during the Doinks-Team Bam Bam Bigelow Match "Are you sure if you look real close under Mabel's make up that that isn't actually Oprah Winfrey?!"

[The Condor]

Today is a good day.

Didn't even have to use my AK

[Cool King]

http://i1141.photobucket.com/albums/n587/max-bedroom/1312248535087.gif

[VSG]

I wonder what the Miz thinks about that.

[Graveler]

There is a tumblr where someone has been photoshopping pics of ADR next to pornstars

http://albertodelrioxxx.tumblr.com/

[Xero]

lol

[Emperor Smeat]

http://gifsoup.com/view8/4521252/heyyo-o.gif

[Cool King]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PeMwKD0Tw64" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Xero]

WWE's Facebook pushing Jeff Hardy's new Alumni profile.

Hmmm.

http://wwe.me/hvOGq

[KyleEmmott]

WWE's Facebook pushing Jeff Hardy's new Alumni profile.

Hmmm.

http://wwe.me/hvOGq

Almost positive that this is WWE's attempt to bring him back.

[Juan]

Almost positive that this is WWE's attempt to bring him back.

Yeah, they probably lost his phone number.

[Droford]

Maybe they can still get matt hardy

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Mid Cardy

[Tazz Dan]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Mid Cardy

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Tom Guycott]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BCUCxjZCMAA0rj9.jpg

Anybody else in the company posts a picture like that we would be hearing next week on raw... YOU'RE FIRED!!!

Actually, isn't this exactly what King did? Just Vince doesn't have a cheeseburger. Unless he ate it already.

Then Austin comes in and teases hitting him with a bedpan...

[James Steele]

Holy fuck has Vince aged in the past 10 years.

[James Steele]

Here are some Gorilla Monsoon Valentine's Day Cards:

http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA1.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA2.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA3.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA4.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA5.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA6.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA7.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA8.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA9.jpg
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA10.jpg

[Tazz Dan]

Just found an old phone and was flicking through the txts, and came across this.


A WWE action figure of Chris Benoit has been recently recalled by the company. They later released a statement explaining the removal of the figure was because of an unforeseen choking hazard.




Too soon?

[mike adamle]

I'm watching the King Of The Ring 1994. Owen Hart might be having the best night in wrestling history. Even better than Bret the previous year. His matches with Tatanka and the 1-2-3 Kid were fucking awesome, can't wait to watch his match with Razor.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

How much does that fella weigh?

[Dark One]

Just found an old phone and was flicking through the txts, and came across this.


A WWE action figure of Chris Benoit has been recently recalled by the company. They later released a statement explaining the removal of the figure was because of an unforeseen choking hazard.




Too soon?

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk209/HisReptilianMajesty/lawlerreaction_zpsd5944a37.gif

[Vastardikai]

Maybe this is a horrible idea, but I think WWE should bring in some Chikara guys to job on Saturday Morning Slam. They wouldn't have to actually try their stupid head drop offense, just bump for whoever WWE is pushing, and give them, and by extention Chikara, a plug.

I know he's attempting a comeback, so why not have Amasis teams with Ophidian (no one really cares that they're supposed to be feuding or whatever if they don't know that they even exist) against Brodus Clay and Tensai. Have a dance off, maybe even win that, heel it up a bit, and then get slaughtered.

I'd almost suggest the Colony vs. Three Man Band, but that wouldn't work because the Colony are colorful and have personality, thus making people give even LESS of a shit about 3MB.

[Flash Funk]

Man, I never realized how much I wanted some Gorilla Monsoon valentines.

[James Steele]

Chikara is fucking stupid. I know that is the whole point, but I don't see how it can be good for their careers to work for an organization that goes out of its way to make fun of the business. The product makes no sense. If I wanted to watch a hilarious clusterfuck, I'd watch TNA. TNA also has the whole "unintentionally hilarious" thing going which makes it 10x better.

[CSL]

some of Chikara is amazing (aka the comedy stuff) but it should be in no way anywhere near a WWE/TV audience. Which luckily, it isn't

[Emperor Smeat]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/bd5ef1f379b7a6fb4d2c4e37fb609ac4/tumblr_mh46r4Klgj1rqhwaro1_250.gif

[CSL]

that's an old World of Sport/Johnny Saint-esque schtick ;)

[Dark One]

TALK ABOUT BIG E. MORE!

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/search/%23FF">#FF</a> Me...After all, my baby needs new shoes. By "baby," I mean my PS3. And by "shoes," I mean more discs to insert inside him.</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/300014153207279616">February 8, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"@<a href="https://twitter.com/themib">themib</a>: @<a href="https://twitter.com/bigelangston">bigelangston</a> Your PS3 is a "him"? Worrying about you..." Replace "her" with "him" in that tweet &amp; tell me that's not unsettling.</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/300016565435379712">February 8, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"@<a href="https://twitter.com/und3raveragejoe">und3raveragejoe</a>: @<a href="https://twitter.com/bigelangston">bigelangston</a> Where do I send money to help the cause?" I'm setting up a fund ASAP. Name: The "I Desire Your Money" Fund.</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/300019829254012928">February 8, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"@<a href="https://twitter.com/justemmalouise_">justemmalouise_</a>: I just want to marry @<a href="https://twitter.com/bigelangston">bigelangston</a> ... he seems like one of the funniest people you could meet" How's your credit?</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/300022947123453953">February 8, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Keith]

Big E can be a huge singles star. He's got a lot of charisma that's just waiting to burst out.

[Juan]

Needs new ring gear tho

[Dark One]

Needs new ring gear tho

In his infinite wisdom, Big E. already has a response for that--FROM THE PAST.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>For those of you who question my new attire, I looked in the mirror one day and said, "If Lady Gaga ain't wearing pants, I ain't either."</p>&mdash; Big E Langston (@BigELangston) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigELangston/status/296616471075897344">January 30, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Fignuts]

Juan just got TOLD

[Cool King]

WWE.com Presents....

WWE's 25 most absurd Superstars

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/list/intro/2013/02/20130206_Absurd_HOMEPAGE.jpg

Let’s get one thing straight — bizarre isn’t bad.

When it’s done right at least. That’s how this world ended up with masterpieces like Salvador Dali’s “Persistence of Memory” and Weird Al Yankovic’s “Another One Rides the Bus.” When it’s done wrong? Well that’s when you get Lady Gaga wearing a dress made of meat.

WWE has seen its share of oddities over the years, including a stable of oddities actually called The Oddities. But we’re not looking at Superstars like Luna Vachon or Goldust who hit a home run with their bizarre personas. This list honors those hapless misfits who fouled one off into the cheap seats and hit an old lady in the head.

Ever seen a grown man dressed up like a breakdancing cat? You’re about to.


#25

The Red Rooster

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/48_WWE-Encyclopedia2211.jpg

Urban legend has it that Terry Taylor was nearly introduced to the WWE Universe as Mr. Perfect in 1988. Instead, the South Carolina native came strutting to the ring with a goofy mohawk and a pair of crimson trunks under the name The Red Rooster. Why Taylor — a gifted, articulate competitor with boundless promise — was made to cluck like a chicken is hard to figure, but it didn’t do much for his confidence. After struggling under the guidance of Bobby Heenan, The Rooster was plucked by The Brain and deep-fried by The Brooklyn Brawler. A change of heart was meant to revitalize the birdman’s career, but few in the WWE Universe were willing to count themselves among the legion of fans he’d dubbed his “Rooster Boosters.”

#24

Outback Jack

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/62_WWE-Encyclopedia2256.jpg

Just as “Crocodile Dundee” topped the box office in 1986, WWE introduced an Aussie of their own in Outback Jack. A charming bushman from the town of Humpty Doo in the Northern Territory, the 300-pounder was an authentic Aussie and not just some guy from Canada doing his best Paul Hogan impression. Still, Jack’s exhausting references to “roos” and “crocs” made him seem about as genuinely Australian as lunch at the Outback Steakhouse. In the end, WWE’s first Superstar from Down Under proved to be as popular as a “Crocodile Dundee” movie. Unfortunately, that movie was “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles.”

#23

The Mountie

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/60_WM7_03241991_0281.jpg

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are among the most elite law enforcement services in the world. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for The Mountie. Canada’s answer to The Big Boss Man, the villainous Dudley Do-Right carried a cattle prod to the ring while a theme song straight out of a cartoon filled the arena. Proud Canucks couldn’t help but cringe when an irritating chorus of “I’m The Mountie/I’m handsome/I’m brave/I’m strong” kicked in. Believe it or not, the Montreal native actually beat Bret “Hit Man” Hart for the Intercontinental Championship in 1992. Two days after later, though, The Mountie lost the title to “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and headed back to The Great White North on his faithful steed. Oh, Canada!

#22

Tekno Team 2000

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/65_RAW_04291996_0001.jpg

In 1996, WWE fans got a glimpse into the 21st century when a young duo named Tekno Team 2000 debuted. Unfortunately, the future looked bleak. Troy and Travis of Tekno Team 2000 were both youthful and physically impressive, but their polyurethane suits and blank expressions made them come across like extraterrestrials in Ed Wood’s quintessential B-movie “Plan 9 from Outer Space.” And their name — meant to grab the attention of disenfranchised Generation-X hipsters who had grown weary of WWE — sounded like the odd garble of trendy buzzwords usually seen on knockoff Japanese T-shirts. After a few short months, Tekno Team 2000 proved to be a bigger bust than the Y2K bug and headed back to the future where they belonged. Great Scott!

#21

T.L. Hopper

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/22_wweencyclopedia2547.jpg

When a Superstar’s most memorable WWE moment is that time they fished a Baby Ruth out of a swimming pool and ate it, something’s wrong. But what do you expect from a competitor who walked to the ring to the sound of a flushing toilet? Dusty Rhodes may have famously proclaimed himself “the son of a plumber,” but T.L. Hopper was an actual plumber who had as much trouble keeping his pants up as he did beating opponents during his 1996 stint with WWE. Hopper did score one major win when he beat Duke “The Dumpster” Droese in his WWE debut and then further humiliated the trash man by smothering him with a used plunger. Talk about a dirty job.

#20

Saba Simba

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/41_WWE-Encyclopedia2139.jpg

Tony Atlas is a legendary WWE Hall of Famer, former WWE Tag Team Champion and an accomplished bodybuilder. So why was Atlas reintroduced to the WWE Universe as a Ugandan warrior named Saba Simba when he returned to WWE in 1990? Wielding a massive shield and spear and wearing an elaborate headdress, Simba looked like he was ready for some serious hand-to-hand combat, but his dance moves inside the squared circle undermined his warrior appearance. During his bouts against the likes of The Barbarian and Greg Valentine, it was clear that Atlas was still a formidable and powerful Superstar, but the absurdity of his new persona made it difficult for the former tag team titleholder to be taken seriously. Thankfully, Saba Simba disappeared from WWE and Tony Atlas reemerged in WCW to do what he does best.

#19

Xanta Klaus

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/07_WWE-Encyclopedia2454.jpg

Good Ol’ Saint Nick has a storied history with WWE. Superstars like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin have dressed up as Kris Kringle around Christmastime and the jolly fat guy even granted Hornswoggle the ability to speak. Santa always brings cheer to the WWE Universe, but in 1995 his evil brother from the South Pole, Xanta Klaus, tried to spread fear and mischief by stealing presents. Clad in black and red, the grinch’s WWE debut was the sports-entertainment equivalent of unwrapping a pair of dress socks on Christmas morning. Who’s to blame for this proverbial lump of coal? “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, who probably paid a fortune to get Mr. Klaus to attack Savio Vega at WWE In Your House 6: Season’s Beatings. Couldn’t he just have sent Savio a fruitcake?

#18

The Goon

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/12_WWE-Encyclopedia-1348.jpg

WWE fans breathed a collective sigh of relief when the recent NHL strike came to an end. Otherwise, there was a chance The Goon would be making his return to WWE. Originally skating into sports-entertainment in 1996, the onetime grinder was said to have been kicked out of every league he ever played in. The implication was that The Goon was blacklisted for his recklessness, but it’s possible that he was just really lousy between the boards. That was certainly the case in the ring, where the iceman’s generic hockey jersey and dopey boots shaped like skates inspired more hate mail than hat tricks. Do you believe in miracles? Not after watching a Goon match.

#17

Big Bully Busick

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/27_WWE-Encyclopedia3198.jpg

Big Bully Busick was the proud owner of the greatest mustache in WWE history, but that doesn’t spare him from inclusion on this list of ridiculous Superstars. The burly competitor’s epic facial hair was absurd in its own right, but his persona as an old-timey browbeater was even more over the top. Wearing a thick red sweater and a grey derby to the ring, the Pittsburgh native could have used his massive physique to win a few matches. Instead, he spent most of his time picking on children and popping their balloons. (Side note: Who brings a balloon to a WWE event?) Targeting those he believed were weak, Busick’s biggest rivalry was against The Brooklyn Brawler in a quarrel over who was WWE’s true bully. The man out of time later battled legends like Bret “Hit Man” Hart, The British Bulldog and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, but he would have been better off tormenting schoolchildren in the 1920s.

#16

Nailz

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/59_WWE-Encyclopedia2000.jpg

What’s more absurd? A 7-foot, 300-pound ex-con named Nailz competing in his prison jumpsuit? Or the fact that authorities weren’t alerted when the angry Superstar debuted in WWE seeking revenge against his former corrections officer, The Big Boss Man? At first glance, Nailz was pretty scary. But when the Superstar in the bright orange onesie opened his mouth, his angry growl went from frightening to silly pretty rapidly. The longer he spoke, the more he sounded like a voice recording slowed down. For some reason, Nailz wasn’t thrown back in the slammer following a brutal attack on The Boss Man, but he disappeared from WWE soon after messing with The Undertaker. Thanks, Deadman!

#15

The Spirit Squad

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/53_RR_01292006CA_675.jpg

Kenny! Johnny! Barf! The nauseating fivesome known as The Spirit Squad gave WWE fans a whole new reason to despise male cheerleaders when they came tumbling onto Raw in January 2006. The quintet of knuckleheads inspired some laughter when they randomly hit ringside to chant during matches, but there was nothing funny about their upset victory over Big Show & Kane for the World Tag Team Titles. The Squad made history by becoming the first group of five to defend the championships, but they will always be remembered for that night D-Generation X covered them in a smelly mess on Raw. Gimme a P! Gimme a U!

#14

Bastion Booger

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/standard_list/public/t25/image/2013/02/absurd/55_WWE-Encyclopedia-111.jpg

Long before Ryback began snacking on beanpoles like Ari Cohen and Willard Fillmore, the only WWE Superstar to live by the words “Feed me more!” was Bastion Booger. The last person you’d want to sit next to on an international flight, the 401-pound Mr. Booger was once seen devouring raw hot dogs before a match with Razor Ramon. Worse yet, his entrance theme consisted solely of him shouting “I’m the booger man!” while repeatedly attempting to hock up what sounded like the world’s most unpleasant loogie. Think Booger’s blatant nose-picking and back hair was off-putting enough? Wait till you see one of his matches. Yuck!

#13

The Stalker

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In 1996, a new Superstar came to WWE with the intent to strike fear in his opponents by studying them and their loved ones. OK, it was creepier than that. He flat-out stalked them. Introduced to the WWE Universe through a series of vignettes that saw the camouflaged competitor suddenly emerge from a dense forest, The Stalker looked like he would have done well in a game of paintball. As for WWE rings? That’s another story. Quizzically heading to the squared circle in full green and black camouflage, The Stalker may have thought he was disappearing before his opponent’s eyes, but his absurd appearance made him hard to miss. The man who was billed as hailing from “The Environment” eventually retreated back to his well-stocked bunker in the woods, where he continues to await the zombie apocalypse.

#12

Chainsaw Charlie

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Terry Funk wore the banner of “middle-aged and crazy” with unwavering pride for much of his career, but he might have taken things a little too far when he reinvented himself as Chainsaw Charlie in 1998. Coming back to WWE to help his friend Mick Foley in his war against The New Age Outlaws, the WWE Hall of Famer attempted to introduce a second face of Funk to match his buddy’s three faces of Foley. On the night he debuted, Funk chainsawed his way out of a wooden crate with lady’s undergarments on his head. It’s unclear who thought it was a bright idea to turn one of sports-entertainment’s true legends into a bizarre knockoff of the villain from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Worse yet, who thought it was a good idea to give Terry Funk a live chainsaw?

#11

Mystery Man

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What good is a mystery if no one wants to solve it? That was the conundrum Mystery Man faced after he appointed himself as WWE’s avenging angel in 1991. Saving hapless local competitors from getting creamed by heavies like Earthquake and Dino Bravo, the mysterious individual would hit the ring, waylay the villain and hightail it out of there. Mystery Man vanished as soon as he arrived and the WWE Universe never learned his name or his true identity. Who was that masked man? We’ll give you a hint. It was Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.

#10

The Berzerker

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Nowadays, a WWE Superstar might carry a whistle to the ring or a sock that looks like a cobra. But there was a time when dudes were walking around with legitimately dangerous weapons. Case in point: The Berzerker, that mad Norseman who thawed out of an iceberg somewhere and immediately came charging into WWE with a steel broadsword and one of those goofy, horned helmets that overzealous Minnesota Vikings fans wear. How The Berzerker was able to get his armaments through airport security was baffling to start. But the question of how he was given a WWE contract without knowing that you had to pin a guy to win a match remains one of life’s great mysteries.

#9

Battle Kat

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Had cute kitten videos been as popular in 1990 as they are today, there’s a chance Battle Kat wouldn’t have been such a flash in the pan. Alas, the WWE Universe took to the feline competitor the way a cat takes to a bath. Dancing to the ring to the type of cheapo island music usually heard during cruise ship limbo competitions, Battle Kat attacked his opponents the way a tabby attacks a ball of yarn — which is the last metaphor you want to hear when you’re a professional wrestler.

#8

Repo Man

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Only one Superstar in WWE history operated under the auspices of “Finders keepers, losers weepers.” The masked Repo Man snooped around the squared circle, deeming other Superstars to be behind on payments for random items, which he would snatch and hide under his oversized, ratty trenchcoat. He even repossessed one of “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s trademark sequined cowboy hats. While we’re not sure what kind of payment plan you can get from the haberdasher for one of those bad boys, Savage insisted he was up to snuff on his hat bill. So of course, “Macho Man” and Repo Man settled the debt as only Superstars can: in the ring. And by “settle the debt,” we mean Savage beat the tar out of Repo Man in a match and took his hat back. Don’t you wish you could pay off your car like that?

#7

Isaac Yankem, D.D.S.

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When Jerry Lawler wanted to rid WWE of his arch nemesis Bret “Hit Man” Hart, he hired some muscle to do his dirty work. But rather than call on a Memphis, Tenn., heavy like Lord Humongous, “The King” hired his private dentist, Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. Make no mistake, the doctor was a physically imposing individual, but a Superstar in dental scrubs with questionable oral hygiene didn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of his opponents. Yankem was unable to secure a victory over Hart — or pretty much anyone else for that matter. The dentist headed back to his practice in late 1996 where the memory of his ring career was burned from his mind.

#6

Friar Ferguson

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Friar Ferguson may be the most inexplicable Superstar of all time. A 385-pound mute monk who chugged sacramental wine and danced the Charleston during his matches, the big man of the cloth established himself as a walking contradiction from the moment he debuted in WWE on the April 12, 1993, edition of Raw. Although Friar Ferguson came to the ring with a happy-go-lucky grin on his face, his theme music was the type of eerie, Gregorian chant that would accompany The Undertaker’s druids in future years. WWE fans weren’t sure if they were supposed to boo the lug or cheer him on. So they did neither.

#5

Fake Razor Ramon & Fake Diesel

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Kevin Nash and Scott Hall must have left their gear in the locker room when they made the move from WWE to WCW in 1996. Not long after the big men headed down to Atlanta to form The New World Order, two guys posing as Razor Ramon and Diesel began competing in WWE. Officials may have hoped that fans would overlook the fact that The Bad Guy was now a round-faced Canadian, but the changeup was less convincing than that time they swapped moms on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” The goal of this failed experiment was to show that the tights made the man and not vice versa. Instead, the opposite turned out to be true.

#4

Max Moon

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There’s only one Superstar absurd enough to claim that he was from Outer Space — Max Moon! Displaying the kind of delusions of grandeur that would have most folks institutionalized, Max proved to be an agile and resilient grappler in the ring. It’s just that everything else about him was so ridiculous. Sporting a multi-colored bodysuit, gauntlets that fired off fireworks and a jet pack that seemingly rocketed him to the ring, Moon looked more like a 1980s Saturday morning cartoon character than a WWE Superstar. Although he managed to pick up victories against Rick Martel and The Repo Man, the intergalactic grappler’s novelty faded fast and Max Moon was soon sucked into a black hole of obscurity.

#3

Mantaur

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Mantaur’s back-story drew heavily from the Greek myth of the Minotaur — a half-man, half-bull creature that lived in the center of a labyrinth on the island of Crete. If you think that’s a dubious basis for a WWE Superstar, you’re right. Mantaur’s allusions to the Roman poet Ovid were probably lost on the WWE fans who saw him as just a burly guy in a furry helmet that looked like the hat Fred Flintstone wore to his Water Buffalo meetings. The oversized bull head was so unwieldy that he routinely knocked it off while attempting to get in the ring. Mantaur’s klutzy entrances have led people to regard him as an oaf, which wasn’t the case — the 400-pounder could move. Still, he’ll forever be remembered as WWE’s answer to The Shockmaster.

#2

The Gobbledy Gooker

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In fall 1990, WWE laid an egg. For weeks, the WWE Universe was teased with a brontosaurus-sized shell that would hatch an amazing surprise at Survivor Series. WWE fans couldn’t help but wonder what was inside. A beautiful Diva? A future WWE Champion? Then the egg broke open and a man in a bird costume stepped out. Introduced as The Gobbledy Gooker, this literal turkey danced a jig with “Mean” Gene Okerlund in front of a disappointed audience and then thankfully returned to the funny farm. Eleven years later, Mr. Gooker made an unwanted comeback at WrestleMania X-Seven, proving that the only thing worse than bad turkey is reheated bad turkey.

#1

Phantasio

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When it comes to absurd Superstars, Phantasio is a certifiable first-ballot hall of famer. A magician gifted with an impressive physique and athletic ability, Phantasio’s only enigmatic WWE appearance was on the July 16, 1996, episode of Wrestling Challenge in a match against Tony DeVito. Dressed in black and wearing a mime mask, the mysterious Superstar removed his disguise only to reveal matching face paint underneath. Phantasio then proceeded to pull a lengthy strip of ribbon out of his mouth and give the mask — and the saliva-soaked ribbon — to an unfortunate young fan at ringside. The absurdity didn’t end there as the illusionist secured a victory over his unhappy opponent by pulling the man’s underwear out of his tights. The magical Superstar then performed the greatest disappearing act in sports-entertainment history, never to be heard from again. Tada!

[mike adamle]

Watching Survivor Series 1994 now. Some of these early 90s elimination tag matches were fucking classics. Wish they'd bring some of these back. Have one elimination tag unannounced featuring a bunch of jobbers. Announce 2 other ones mixed with mid-carders and main eventers. But leave out the WHC and WWE Champs so they can defend their titles. Would be really easy.

[The Condor]

Mantaur, and the Berzerker were some of my favorites. Nice list.

[Classy and Gassy]

I wonder if when the WWE will acknowledge Kane being the Fake Diesel and Isaac Yankem. His backstory is so muddled you might as well throw dentist and imposter in there.

[wwe2222]

Surprised Giant Gonzalez didn't make the list

[The Condor]

Was up early today and watched Saturday Morning Slam for the first time.Heath Slater did commentary with Josh Mathews for the show and honestly I was in stitches. I really like 3MB.

[parkmania]

I wonder if when the WWE will acknowledge Kane being the Fake Diesel and Isaac Yankem. His backstory is so muddled you might as well throw dentist and imposter in there.

"The dentist headed back to his practice in late 1996 where the memory of his ring career was burned from his mind. " That's probably as close to an acknowedgement as WWE will let happen.

[Cool King]

Yeah, it probably will be.

I always like those little acknowedgements you get in those "Top Whatever" lists on WWE.com though.

[Vastardikai]

In response to James Steele and CSL's reply to letting Chikara guys job on Saturday Morning Slam, I present to you...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pxPZ5nXIBCQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Would they REALLY be out of place on a 30 minute Kid's show?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Fuck that shit the Mountie was awesome

[parkmania]

The Mountie(s) gimmick was better than the Rougeaus' "All-American Boys".

Although Pirate Carl Ouellette was better than Mountie Ouellette.

[erickman]

looking at that list 96 was a bad year in wwe wrestling glad i was watching wcw then.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

The Mountie(s) gimmick was better than the Rougeaus' "All-American Boys".

Although Pirate Carl Ouellette was better than Mountie Ouellette.

All American Boys was awesome too.

[CSL]

In response to James Steele and CSL's reply to letting Chikara guys job on Saturday Morning Slam, I present to you...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pxPZ5nXIBCQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Would they REALLY be out of place on a 30 minute Kid's show?

yes. That's pretty standard "wrestling comedy", you can see those spots in a lot of comedy matches all over the world, especially the criss-cross and airplane spin spots. Invisible hand grenades that make everybody move in slow motion until they "explode" (after which they all sell the explosion) a guy that can be paused by pressing the start "button" on his shorts, hypnosis and a big green dragon that attacks guys with his tail aren't really the same thing.

[CSL]

now I'm going to go and watch some random Chikara clips on Youtube

[Vastardikai]

yes. That's pretty standard "wrestling comedy", you can see those spots in a lot of comedy matches all over the world, especially the criss-cross and airplane spin spots. Invisible hand grenades that make everybody move in slow motion until they "explode" (after which they all sell the explosion) a guy that can be paused by pressing the start "button" on his shorts, hypnosis and a big green dragon that attacks guys with his tail aren't really the same thing.

I wasn't saying SMS needed invisible grenades, start "button" pauses, or big green dragons. It doesn't even need time traveling knights who will go back in time and grab a younger version of themselves to team with. More than that, the little bit of Dragon Dragon I watched was awful. I mean, I don't see a problem if the guys decide at one point they want to wrestle in slow motion.

How is hypnosis any different than controlling a guy with an urn or any other magical object?

[CSL]

because it's not 1995 anymore

[CSL]

also, HOW DARE YOU INSULT DRAGON DRAGON

his head fell off in the name of entertaining you :'(

[Savio]

lol what?

http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/GORILLA8.jpg

[Corporate CockSnogger]

What? That's standard date talk for me.

[Vastardikai]

because it's not 1995 anymore

Again, who is the audience of Saturday Morning Slam? Do you think they would CARE about how ridiculous hypnosis would be in that sense? Hell, Hypnosis used to be a staple episode of virtually EVERY Saturday morning kids show.

[loopydate]

Honestly surprised they acknowledged Nailz in that article.

[CSL]

Again, who is the audience of Saturday Morning Slam? Do you think they would CARE about how ridiculous hypnosis would be in that sense? Hell, Hypnosis used to be a staple episode of virtually EVERY Saturday morning kids show.

no. They also wouldn't care if they bought out Barney the dinosaur and had him go over Big Show but that's not going to happen either

[Cool King]

no. They also wouldn't care if they bought out Barney the dinosaur and had him go over Big Show but that's not going to happen either

I dunno, it could happen if Barney wanted too.

He already seems to be good friends with Orton and you know what they say about friends in high places.

http://tinyurl.com/ahjwjoz

[Ultra Mantis]

I vaguely remember Alex Riley doing the Chuck Taylor grenade routine a couple of times before he was removed from TV, obviously with all the good parts of the spot missing so it was really just a 20 second standing elbow drop.

[Cool King]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/l81LCnK8hz0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[CSL]

I dunno, it could happen if Barney wanted too.

He already seems to be good friends with Orton and you know what they say about friends in high places.

http://tinyurl.com/ahjwjoz

can't wait to see what Meltzer would have to say about Barney's politicking

[Tazz Dan]

This Burnt Rice character isn't going to last long.

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.imgur.com/DQZYefK.gif

[Flash Funk]

The PowerPlex was an awesome tag team finisher. Someone bring it back.

[Tom Guycott]

yes. That's pretty standard "wrestling comedy", you can see those spots in a lot of comedy matches all over the world, especially the criss-cross and airplane spin spots. Invisible hand grenades that make everybody move in slow motion until they "explode" (after which they all sell the explosion) a guy that can be paused by pressing the start "button" on his shorts, hypnosis and a big green dragon that attacks guys with his tail aren't really the same thing.

I fail to see how this is much different than a sentient sock puppet who delivers a finisher taught to the wearer by Jon Lovitz.

[KaosDarksol]

I dunno, it could happen if Barney wanted too.

He already seems to be good friends with Orton and you know what they say about friends in high places.

http://tinyurl.com/ahjwjoz

Orrin vs Barney. Barney needs to get an rko and let's have it not be on SMS so we can actually see it on tv.

[CSL]

I fail to see how this is much different than a sentient sock puppet who delivers a finisher taught to the wearer by Jon Lovitz.

if they'd given the Cobra to Steve Blackman years ago and put it over as a "paralyzing nerve strike", people would have bought into it (Umaga hitting guys with his thumb anyone?) if Steve Blackman came out and threw an invisible hand grenade at Meat and pinned him, they'd have shit on it quicker than Randy Orton around some bird's bag. Yeah the Cobra is a big dumb comedy schtick but it still allows you to suspend your disbelief. The same can't be said about one guy giving another an atomic drop that knocks 6 guys and a referee over because he had an invisible grenade down the back of his shorts.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

The PowerPlex was an awesome tag team finisher. Someone bring it back.

Too bad it was done by Herc and Jerk.

[Rammsteinmad]

CSL, you seem to be taking this invisible grenade business very personally. What happened?

[CSL]

I woke up one night as a child to find an invisible grenade trying to get into my bed

[Tom Guycott]

if they'd given the Cobra to Steve Blackman years ago and put it over as a "paralyzing nerve strike", people would have bought into it (Umaga hitting guys with his thumb anyone?) if Steve Blackman came out and threw an invisible hand grenade at Meat and pinned him, they'd have shit on it quicker than Randy Orton around some bird's bag. Yeah the Cobra is a big dumb comedy schtick but it still allows you to suspend your disbelief. The same can't be said about one guy giving another an atomic drop that knocks 6 guys and a referee over because he had an invisible grenade down the back of his shorts.

Still a pretty huge suspension, You can argue that "one is dumber than the other", but they're both pretty fucking dumb in the realm of guys who are supposed to be "fighting eachother for realz". It doesn't make one inherently "better" than the other.

Just saying, you can't quite put WWE on a pedistal as things like the hand grenade spot being beneath them. If we can be asked to believe Papa Shango made Ultimate Warrior bleed by magic, Vince McMahon blew up in a limo and walk around 100% unscathed the next week, a leprechaun has lived in a magical void under the ring, and Mae Young and Mark Henry's hand-baby grew up to be a full grown... Thing, we can believe a pause button on somone's pants makes them stand still. It just becomes easier to pick on because its in the lowly indies.

Hell, one of my favorite spots of all time is really fuckinig dumb, and it was done by none other than Ric Flair. 10 head bounces into the turnbuckle by his opponent while the audience counts, Flair keeps going, unassisted (as in, his opponent, usually Sting, is no longer touching him) for like 5 more bounces, then turns around, staggers to the middle of the ring, and Flair Flops.

You can't be so serious about this.

[Cool King]

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090727062623/worldwrestlingentertainment2177/images/c/cb/Lance_Storm.jpg

[Tom Guycott]

... but I guess Lance Storm, and by extention Cool King, can.

[Cool King]

Only for a minute.

[Tom Guycott]

Or exactly 1:08

[CSL]

Still a pretty huge suspension, You can argue that "one is dumber than the other", but they're both pretty fucking dumb in the realm of guys who are supposed to be "fighting eachother for realz". It doesn't make one inherently "better" than the other.

Just saying, you can't quite put WWE on a pedistal as things like the hand grenade spot being beneath them. If we can be asked to believe Papa Shango made Ultimate Warrior bleed by magic, Vince McMahon blew up in a limo and walk around 100% unscathed the next week, a leprechaun has lived in a magical void under the ring, and Mae Young and Mark Henry's hand-baby grew up to be a full grown... Thing, we can believe a pause button on somone's pants makes them stand still. It just becomes easier to pick on because its in the lowly indies.

Hell, one of my favorite spots of all time is really fuckinig dumb, and it was done by none other than Ric Flair. 10 head bounces into the turnbuckle by his opponent while the audience counts, Flair keeps going, unassisted (as in, his opponent, usually Sting, is no longer touching him) for like 5 more bounces, then turns around, staggers to the middle of the ring, and Flair Flops.

You can't be so serious about this.

have you read anything I've written or replied to, especially on the last page or even anything I've ever posted? Did you see my super serious post on the last page about Dragon Dragon's head falling off? I'm replying to posts here about why I don't think you'll ever see it on TV. I love the hand grenade spot, I love most of the daft comedy Chikara do. You can find a bunch of posts from the past saying the same thing. You've managed to create and then reply to your own mythical argument.